User:Joe9320/Pokemon Island
“WELCOME TO GIRATINATON!”
Kantō The National Pokémon Slavery and Battle Island of the World Pokémon Islands | |||||
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| Motto: GIRATINA, I CHOOSE YOU!!! | |||||
| Anthem: Pokemon | |||||
 Expert's depiction of Pokémon Island. Note the bridge to Hell. | |||||
| Capital | Karanakhston (formerly Saffron) | ||||
| Largest city | Giratinaton (The Giratinaton/Karanakhston Metropolis is the largest city in population and size) | ||||
| Official language(s) | Japanese, English, Engrish, Pokémon language, Mexican, 1337 | ||||
| Government | League of Officer Jennys, Communism (from Silph Co.) | ||||
| ‑ | Giratina, Palkia, Unknown | ||||
| Population | 108,280,000 (2008) | ||||
| Ethnic groups | Japanese (30%), Japanese-American pædophiles (70%) | ||||
| National Hero(es) | Pikachu Bin Laden, Satan, Mudkip, Dick Cheney | ||||
| Established | 1889 | ||||
| Currency | Poké | ||||
| Religion | Scientology | ||||
| Major exports | Slave Pokémon, Magikarp sushi, sex toys, and blood. | ||||
| Major imports | Slave Pokémon, money, and toxic waste | ||||
Pokémon Island is a nation located on an island off the coast of East Asia and a small portion of North America, in the Pokémon universe, which is one of the countless parallel universes to our own. Although one is able to peek through the Pokémon universe by means of using something called a "Game Card" (or in earlier generations, a Game Pak), no one has yet invented a portal that links between the two universes. Pokémon Island consists of five regions: Kanto, Johto, Hoenn and Sinnoh, which are part of the Home Islands (the four main islands of Pokémon Island), and Unova, which is located between the Hudson and East rivers and is formerly known as New York City.
Formation[edit | edit source]
Pokémon Island was formed in 1889, when Nintendo needed an island to imprison bad Pokémon. They found that Japan just bought an island, so they decided to steal it using Japanese pirates and bribery. This succeeded, and soon Pokémon were transported there. It wasn't until 1903 until Nintendo realized it's right next to Hell and could just send Pokémon there. Giratina, however suggested that they could make it a Battle Dome for Pokémon. This was taken into action, and soon Tourists came to see Pokémon maul each other. Pokémon Island soon became wealthy, and Hell was getting tourists as well.
The Bridge Deal of 1933[edit | edit source]
After many years of battling and tourism, Giratina thought he could get more Americans to come to hell by building a bridge from Pokémon Island to Hell. Nintendo agreed, and soon countless Pokémon were sent to slavery to build the bridge. During this period, the Great Depression was occurring in America, so the Pokémon had to use cheap and toxic cement from China to build the bridge. However, it was not until 1969 when Nintendo found out people and Pokémon were spontaneously dying because of the cement. Finally, in 1984, the bridge was complete, with a plastic shield over the cement (this caused many slipping injuries later).
Today[edit | edit source]
Today, Pokémon Island is a nuclear waste dump bustling stadium with adoring fans. The Pokémon slaves have been forced to huff kittens to increase work production and the bridge has become very popular, even though it's on the verge of breaking.
However, there is a growing problem about free-lance Pokémon breeding and sex PETA keeps breaking into. Pokémon Island is also home to a Pasketmaul Stadium in Giratinaton.
Religion and Government[edit | edit source]
During the early days of Pokémon Island, Dick Cheney told the natives to convert to Scientology. This succeeded, surprisingly bringing communists and republicans to live on the country. (Silph Co. was soon started as a result.) As for the government, Officer Jenny clones are scattered about the island, rarely doing any work. Pokémon Island's rulers, along with Giratina(he partially owns it due to it originally being an island of hell), is Palkia. Arceus was originally supposed to be prime minister, but was killed by Palkia in an O. J. Simpson-like manner.
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Economy[edit | edit source]
In early Pokémon Island days, slave Pokémon were sold to America and China illegally for high prices. However, PETA discovered the bribes and cut off all shipments of Pokémon for 10 years. The economy plummeted, delaying tournaments and causing a Great Depression. Soon, though, Silph Co. found out children could be stripped of their cash with merchandise. Soon Pokémon sex toys, weaponry, and graphic tees were mass-marketed, bringing back the wealth to the island. So currently the economy is mainly connected to merchandise and illegal Pokémon trading.
Lifestyle[edit | edit source]
The natives of Pokémon Island have a custom of 10-year old kids capturing slave Pokémon in metal balls. They go unsupervised across the island, partaking in battles with other kids. Adults stay home all day eating chips, or usually studying Pokémon. The natives, despite the population being 70% pedophiles, do not believe in spying and freely travel across cities and toxic waste dumps.
Illegal Trading[edit | edit source]
Slave Pokémon are not only illegally traded cross country, but also throughout the island. The trader would first examine the Pokémon he/she's getting and receive it, giving a Pokémon in return. Most are traded with items like cocaine, vibrators, and LSD.However, due to loopholes found by the republican leaders, this is allowed most of the island, except for liberalist counties.
Silph Co.[edit | edit source]
See main article, Silph Co., and get a free Porygon!
Silph Co. is a computer-making company that is run by communists, Porygons and hacking machines are made here.It is currently located in the middle of Pokémon Island, and has a mini airport that ships pirated Pokémon video games across the world, like Windows FireRed/LeafGreen and Pokemon (the text game).
See Also[edit | edit source]
| Pokémon |
Charizard ⊙ Charmander ⊙ Gardevoir ⊙ Grue ⊙ Hyundai ⊙ Ling-Ling ⊙ Meowth ⊙ Mew ⊙ Mewtwo ⊙ Mudkip ⊙ Muk ⊙ Pichu ⊙ Pikachu ⊙ Raichu ⊙ Snorlax ⊙ Teh Cheat ⊙ Typhlosion ⊙ Towelie ⊙ Umbreon ⊙ Wobbuffet ⊙ Yoshi |
| Poképeople |
Brock ⊙ Herman Cain ⊙ Max ⊙ Pokemon Kid ⊙ Team Rocket |
| Poképlaces | |
| Pokéstuff |
Video game series ⊙ Anime series ⊙ Trading cards ⊙ 100 Worst Pokémon Cash-ins ⊙ Christian Symbology ⊙ Gotta Catch 'Em All |
