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From today's featured article

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We all want to be happy. Nothing is more miserable than feeling miserable - your friends don't want to be around you, it's harder to get a date, and blues music is really annoying. Worse than all this, though, it feels bad to feel sad.

Fortunately, there are some very simple tools that can help you be happy. True, when you're happy your friends probably still don't want to be around you, you'll probably still have trouble getting a date, and you still don't have a genre of music to listen to, but at least you can be happy about it all!

Positive Psychology experts have completed various studies related to personal happiness. They tend to be extremely boring studies, and not anywhere as near as much fun as the negative psychology experts' studies, but those aren't as significant in what we're doing here at the moment. (Full article...)

Did you know...

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  • ...that the only cure for the hiccups is an orgasm?
  • ... that 'wax-on, wax-off' doesn't help teach kids karate, but just gets your cars waxed, free of charge?
  • ... that if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else?
  • ... that sovereign citizens have all the rights of U.S citizens, without having to follow any of the laws?
  • ...that Santa sees you while you're sleeping, and he knows when you're awake?
  • ... that Deus ex machina is Latin for "cop out"?
  • ... that neither cows nor foxes can run for governor in Wisconsin?

In the news

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Artistic impression of the new tanks.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VIEurovision Song ContestRussian InvasionIsrael‑Hamas conflict • ICE rounding up illegal immigrantsTaylor Swift's very unlucky, no good year • Eagles fans rioting and eating horseshit in celebration, again

Recent deaths: Yoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedomDavid LynchBob UeckerDame Joan Plowright • The Kansas City Chiefs Dynasty and Patrick Mahomes's legacy • A One Direction reunion

Upcoming deaths: PhiladelphiaTravis Kelce's sham relationship with Taylor Swift and his career • TikTok, for real this timeBashar al‑AssadDiddy's freedomJay‑Z's career and freedomLuigi MangioneKate MiddletonYour New Year's resolutionsLos AngelesLaura PalmerDEI, for better or for worse

On this day

An exhibit of internet spam before the invention of adblockers

February 22: International Day of Spam

  • 1996 - Need money quick? Need money now? Get a Payday Loan today! It's not like you have a choice you poor piece of shit haha.
  • 1998 - Got bills you need to pay? Some student loans looming overhead? Donate some plasma to literal blood-sucking capitalists.
  • 1999 - There are hot singles in your area! I don't think you can do anything with that information, I just wanted to tell you.
  • 2001 - Retro fans! Buy a complete box set of every movie and television series released during the 1980s, only $25,999.99! comes in fourteen trucks.
  • 2005 - Buy the last 49,367 Blu-ray discs of Peter Jackson's opus King Kong, I don't know use it as tinsel it's starting to leak chemicals.
  • 2011 - Look like your best self, buy our signature collection of foundation and concealer, made from the ground up bones of the long extinct sea cow.

Today's featured picture

Sistine Graffiti
A great disturbance was recorded in the historical community today when what appeared to be a preliminary version of the Michelangelan Fresco that decorates the Sistine Chapel was found spraypainted on a remote alleyway in Rome. Notable historians whatsisname and thatguy said it was due to Michelangelo's intense desire to be accepted into the Renaissance art movement, which they say "required a fair amount of street cred."

Image credit: Zombiebaron
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