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From today's featured article Biffy Clyro is a Scottish rock band from Scotland. As well as being Scottish, nobody outside of the rainy isles has heard of them. The band is composed of one Scottish guy, and two other Scottish guys who are for some reason twins, even though they look nothing alike. During concerts, the trio are joined by musicians Mike Vennart and Dick "99% of Gamblers Quit Before They Win it Big" Ingram. Currently signed to 14th Floor Records, they have released at least six albums. Following the first three, their maybe-existent fan base grew to slightly larger numbers. As for who they actually are, I'm still not sure. I'm pretty sure they're a band, however. As well as being from Scotland, they are apparently very popular in the UK, which is not a place I've visited. As for their music... I'm not sure that exists either. (Full article...) Recently featured: Biffy Clyro Foreign accent syndrome CaseOh Conspiracy Theory Generator Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... ... that there's only one word in the vocabulary of a customer service representative? (Pictured) ... that Margaret Thatcher (Pictured) died thirty years too late? ... Donald Trump? More like... Donald Gay! Hah, gottem! ... that Alaska's principle exports include snow, ice, frozen water, and permafrost? ... that this in not a DYK entry? ... that in order to complete the video game World of Warcraft, over one cubic mile of animals must be clicked? ... that anyone who dies at Disneyland receives a free lifetime pass? ... that school is an asylum where they mentally and physically abuse you for seven cruel hours, all with your parents' approval? ... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"? ... that video games have been linked to aggressive behavior in teenagers? (Pictured) ... You can do anything with creativity, determination, and the exploitation of the working class? ... that I get knocked down, but I get up again, and you're never gonna keep me down? ... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears? ... that Wikipedia features DYKs about mosaic floors that were discovered between 1932 and 1939? ... that in an experiment known as Monty Hall problem, if you never make up your mind about which door to choose, the goat behind the door will grow tired and burst out? ... that "Rosebud" was his sled? Oh wait, everyone knew that. ... that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility? ... that the Gay Agenda is out to get you? (Pictured) ... that Iran is all set to invade itself? ... that the light at the end of the tunnel is commonly reported to be a strobe light accented with techno? ... that if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else? ... that 100% of divorces start with marriage? ... that I am inside your walls? ... that I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It was written by a computer? ... that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy? ... that hand transplant patients (Pictured) celebrate by masturbating? ...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special? ... that it's probably not the weekend (The chance is 5/7)? ... that the average human male between the ages of 18 and 42 has thought about sex with Brad Pitt at least once? ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off? ... You can do anything with creativity, determination, and the exploitation of the working class? ... that Freddie Mercury was banned in some European countries due to his extremely radioactive last name? ... that making drugs explode in your stomach is not a good way to make yourself smarter? ... that the classic fairy tale Hansel and Gretel was blamed for hundreds of accidental deaths involving elderly women being pushed into ovens by children? (Pictured) ... that the entire world rightfully belongs to Albania? ... that at some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser? ... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory? ... that my mom's name is also Martha? ... that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy? ... that not all πr². There are also many π that r rounded? ... that sovereign citizens have all the rights of U.S citizens, without having to follow any of the laws? ... that your nipples (Pictured) can fall off? ... that on average, humans have less than 2 legs? ... that Barns and Nobles is the most successful medieval farming roleplaying game, played by millions of teenage nerds worldwide? ... that the populations of many endangered species can be increased with a simple Wikipedia edit? ... that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, the sister drug to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, is very effective against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis? ... that the American Civil War was actually marked by many instances of uncivil behavior? ... that the White House is really off-white? ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave? ... that Sigmund Freud told me he slept with your mother last night? (Pictured) ... that 90% of all video game high scores are set by one guy called "AAA"? ... that Freddie Mercury was banned in some European countries due to his extremely radioactive last name? ... that if you poke a whale in the tummy it will giggle like a schoolgirl? ... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"? ... that Godot isn't coming? ... that there is one imposter among us? ... that you just lost the Game?

In the news Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize (Pictured) Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran • Winter Paralympics • Saturn Awards • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed Recent deaths: Warner Bros. bidding war • Neil Sedaka • Ali Khamenei • Team Italy sled hockey • Miami Dolphins • That guy from Boston. The band, not the city. But isn't the band from the city? Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • Weed • Dancin' Maduro • Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons On this day March 12: Indecent Exposure Day 1504 - Michelangelo's David lambasted by contemporary Italian critics for being insufficiently endowed (Pictured). 1923 - Mankind declares war on the rainforest after a tree lands on my infant boy, you are dead to me trees dead to me. 1962 - Beach bums take over much of Southern California, rendering it uninhabitable for decades. 1982 - Hospital administrators announce that disco has slipped into a coma and not expected to survive. 1994 - The Church of England allows women to become priests, but only on Sundays. 2011 - A Nuclear power plant in Japan explodes after massive earthquake and tsunami, Japanese children are born kinda fat now: coincidence?

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Satan hates his job, too. You're not like Satan. Are you? Image credit: RadicalX View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

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