Louisiana

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Lousiana: The Bayou State
as in, "lemme bayou a drink."
Louisiana Locator Map.PNG
State Flower: Lily pad
Capital: Some random swamp
Official Language: Prawnsays, Prenchy Germish, Angles, Cager
Government: Hurricanes
Governor: Hurricane Katrina
State Bird: Oily Skin
State Motto: Parley boo prawnsay!
State Rock Tar balls
Location: The Boot
State Beverage bathtub gin
Demographics Prenchy, Prench Pried Germans & Back Water Folk
State Club Swingers and Perves
Official Plant Gater
Principle imports Hurricanes
Principal exports Poor Black refugees
Religion Voodoo

Louisiana (French: Louisiane) is a relatively small state in the Southern US notable for it's achievments in seafood, drinking, off shore drilling, voodoo, drinking, fireworks, Jazz music, violent crime, roving bands of illegitmate children, and drinking. The capital is Baton Rouge, and the largest city is New Orleans, which is surrounded by the Gulf of Mexico to the southeast and swampy marshland and dark forests to the northwest that are viciously guarded by Voodoo Queen Marie Laveau.

The only reason anybody knows it exists, is because of the amazing coincidence that what used to be Britney Spears might have been from there, but so far, no proof has yet emerged.

The Louisiana state quarter.

Namesake[edit | edit source]

Louis I. Ana, foreman of the three year job to build Louisiana with Louis and Anna, drunkenly signed his name, like a Pollock painting, with urine into the shoreline (sans-spaces) in the year AD 900. 628 years later, Pánfilo de Narváez set foot in Louisiana to discover the rum-induced signature.

Geography[edit | edit source]

How Louisiana is shaped. (Actual size may vary.)

In third grade classrooms across the country, Louisiana is commonly referred to as the one that's shaped like an elbow and isn't Florida. Alternatively, it is the boot that isn't Italy. Regardless, in the Deep South, it's about as deep as it gets.

Morgan City, LA

Food and Culture[edit | edit source]

“What is she doing in there? Ah no, she just yelled, 'Get back in that pot!' Why does it smell like a burning tire? I hope it's not what we had last night. There's something wrong with crawfish staring at it you while you tear it in half. It tasted like a flaming oil tanker. And here she comes... Oh god, they don't expect me to eat that, do they? There's a tentacle in there. Please don't give me the tentacle, please don't give me the tentacle, please don't give me the tentacle... fantastic. A tentacle. And a... I have no idea what that is. Why is she smiling at me? Oh god, I'm going to have to take a bite. Okay, just smile and choke it down. Spoon in... and I get the tentacle. Here it goes, *gugh-ugh, gahh!* Hmm... not bad. Not bad at all. Actually this may be the most delicious thing I have ever had in my life!"”

~ Husband visiting In-Laws on Cajun Food

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Tea Emporium[edit | edit source]

Louisianananans have a patent for a highly toxic variety of tea, they call 'SWEAAAT-T' which will render the drinker Diabetic from the first mouthful. Its ingredients are highly top secret, but they are believed to be Tea. It is customary to mix SWEAAAT-T with burbon to hush your baby, Britney Spears, a Louisiananana native sure knows.

Louisiana State University Tigarrhea[edit | edit source]

"No joke, the Louisiana State University Fighting Tigers football team may be the last good reason to rock US. They're like the 1972 Miami Dolphins, only better because they're not old, unlike the USC trojans who are a disgrace and over-rated."

~ Person suffering from Tigarrhea

LSU Tigarrhea is a disease that plagues more than 90% of Louisiana's population; common symptoms include thinking that the Tigers are "the goodest thing bout louisiana", buying useless LSU shirts or other merchandise especially if you didn't attend LSU or attended a rival school, and saying things like "geaux Tigers". If you know someone who exhibits these symptoms please alert them to their idiotic behavior immediately.

LSU Tigarrhea strikes the lower class and, shall we say, not so smart of the state, basically 95% of the state. LSU has an awesome program, their graduates move on to Wal-Mart, Dominos Pizza (delivery boys) and gas stations everywhere. They’re not hard to spot; they’ll have a very stupid looking geaux Tigers shirt on with maybe two teeth. They always have a good excuse as to why the LSU Football team lost, Again… Things like, they were paid off, The Coach was getting death threats, The quarter back had to diarrhea, Aliens came down and played the game not the Tigers and no one told us we were playing tonight. LSU fans are also the most hated humans on earth, even the Taliban has more friends than the LSU fans.

Louisiana Military[edit | edit source]

The mascot for LSU, the tigers, originated from the Tiger Troopers from the War of 1812. However, Louisiana's most notable military is the Cajun Navy. The Cajun Navy is an anti-vandalism army on uncyclopedia, helping out the good citizens of the Grue Army.

Notable Residents[edit | edit source]

Hurricane Katrina

Louis Armstrong

Britney Spears

Lil' Wayne

Louisiana in the News[edit | edit source]

File:UnNews Louisiana jails overflow after town bans saggy pants.mp3

See Also[edit | edit source]