Fantastic Four (2015 film)
“Welp, there goes 2 hours of my life.. I have no idea what I just watched!”
Fant4stic is a 2015 2-hour trailer masquerading as a sorry excuse of a superhero film, directed by an egomaniac and alleged to be based on Fantastic Four.
According to 20th Century Fox, it is a rehash of the mediocre 2005 film of the same name. In truth, no one really knows what this particular 2-hour blob is, but if categorized as a superhero film, it is considered one of the superhero films of all time.
Plot[edit | edit source]
In some random country in what appears to be the 1960s, yet some time in the future, some four people blow something up, and there's this moving crash test dummy who... **yawn**
And now there's all these random shapes on the screen and I have no idea how we got here, fire or something..
**snoring noises**.. Homer Simpson... **snoring noises** Iron Man.. but he's somehow the bad guy.. **snoring noises** terrible Star Wars movies.. **snoring noises** Oh God, not the terrible version of Deadpool! Get it away! Get it away.. **snoring noises**
..huh, what, honey? Oh the movie's over? Are you asking me what was going on in the movie? Babe, I have no idea what was going on, I think I fell asleep at the beginning.. Oh, you did too? Well, that was a nice nap with some white noise. Wish we didn't just waste 30 dollars apiece for these IMAX tickets and overpriced popcorn I just spilled on our laps.
Cast[edit | edit source]
- Miles Teller as Mr. Fantastic
- Kate Mara as the Invisible Woman
- Michael B. Jordan as the Human Torch
- Jamie Bell as the Thing
- Toby Kebbell as Crash Test Doomy
- Homer Simpson as the teacher
Production[edit | edit source]
The film’s production was so terrible it was made so Fox can cash in without Tim Story involved. Homer was cast as Reed’s teacher since Fox owned The Simpsons.
Reception[edit | edit source]
The film was widely hated by the entire world. It is considered a terrorist attack on the film industry and was so boring that 99.9% of audiences fell into a coma trying to understand what was going on. The fans who somehow managed to stay awake throughout the entire thing were deeply appalled by the Thing looking like a Popeye’s Chicken tender from Little Nicky and for being a public flasher with more wardrobe malfunctions than Janet Jackson. Sadly, they have either committed Hakiri or been confined to the insane asylum due to severe PTSD.
This film bombed so hard it bankrupted Fox, made Rupert Murdoch ragequit the film business, and led to him selling the entire movie studio to Disney to focus entirely on making Faux News.
 | This article needs to be grown |