Drax
“I am EXTRAORDINARY humble!!”
“Dancing is for idiots! HAHAHAHA!”
I, Drax, tell you story of me! He is dumbest guy in universe. Drax has -5 brain cells (aww my nipples hurt), where's most boys have only 0 or sometimes rarely, 1. -5 brain cells creates singularity of dumbness. Therefore, superpower of Drax is being dumbass, dumbfounding my enemies by the gravity of stupidity! HAHAHAHA!
I have random red markings on my body, and look almost like human. But of course, im not. The red markings are blood of my VICTIMS!
I have ability to move so slowly I'm completely invisible to the eye, while simultaneously being completly visible to everybody! HAHAHAHA! DRAX SOUND LIKE IDIOT!! (Ungh, my nipples)
History[edit | edit source]
Drax was born, had family at 1, skipping school, and lived unhappily for 27 years. Suddenly, Thanos came and killed Drax's family. HAHAHAHA!
Drax is killing machine, and kills anybody Drax meets until Drax finds the one who killed his family.
I am also extraordinary humble! I am so POWERFUL!! Oh sorry, where were we?
So anyway, when I met Peter Quill, I decided to help them, since my superior intelect knew weakling needed help leaving prison! I could totaly leave myself, I chose to stay. Drax helped weakling escape all by himself, I didn't need ANY help! Then I helped them hunt Thanos! Drax determination to kill Thanos ended up unintentionally giving one of Thanos' minion, Ronan, an Infinity Stone. Not much else is known about Drax, since I died that day, drowning in spinal fluid of some dead head... THING! HAHAHAHA! (Ow! My nipples hurt)
Dumbest moments[edit | edit source]
- Prison escape
In prison control room, with guards about to kill them from outside. "Lets kill 'em!" Drax shouts, and Peter says to me: "You are in way over your head. There's too many." So I reply to him saying I have lightning reflexes. Anything that goes over my head I catch and kill with my own two hands!Gamora says "I'm gonna die surrounded by the biggest idiots in the galaxy"! HAHAHAHA!
- The death gesture
Peter runs his finger across his neck, which apparently mean "cut head off". Peter and Drax were talking about Thanos for some reason. "Why would I run my finger across his neck?" Drax replies. It take me only 5 weeks to understand what it ment! HAHAHAHA! IM SO SMART! (my nipples hurt)
- Why is Gamora?
One day Thanos made Gamora disappear. Peter sad, goes bother Avengers and keeps asking "WHERE IS GAMORA??" Tony Stank then comes back with better question, "Who is Gamora?" Drax then barge in with best question, "WHY is Gamora?? HAHAHAHA!"
The question so dumb, it makes everyone, even Hulk, head asplode. Drax sad. Drax forgot why he sad. HAHAHAHA!
- This page
Why is this page look like a 3-year-old write this? Perhaps admin report this page to be huffed. HAHAHAHA!
Other stuff[edit | edit source]
Now I look after stupid kids in knowhere. I am incredibly good at my job!
Aww, my nipples hurt, can I take badass jetpack off yet? Ahhhh thank you. Hey some nice random lady came from somewhere, no idea how. Hey, miss? Want to dance with me?
![]() | Article written in the style of its subject This article is funny because it is written in the real or imagined writing style of its subject. If you do not find it funny, it is because you are an ignorant cultural philistine on account of having not consumed the same media the writer has. Shame on you. |
It's so funny because someone explain it and even Drax laugh at it! Wait, what was the punchline again? Get it, punchline, because my punches are powerful! HAHAHAHA! IM SO FUNNY! Wait, why arn't you laughing? That's a joke, you are supposed to laugh!
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The heroes, villains, and other people of Marvel Comics, from the creators of Stan Lee's Stripperella, and other Marvel classics as compiled by Uncyclopedia! | |
Superheroes | Iron Man - Kool-Aid Man - Spider-Man - Spider-Woman - Spoida'man - Mary Jane - The Incredible Hunk - The Scarlet Spider - Daredevil - Dr. Strange - The Punisher - Ghost Rider - Deadpool - Igloo - The Thing - Captain Planet - The other Captain Marvel - Stan Lee |
Supervillains | Blackheart - Dr. Doom - Electro - Galactus - Green Goblin - Juggernaut - Mecha-Dracula - Rob Liefeld - Batroc - Loki - The Hobgoblin - Fred Phelps - Blackout the Vampire - Venom - Dr. Octopus - Spider-Man's Rogue's Gallery - The Creature |
X-Men | Professor X - Apocyclopse - Gene Grey - Beast - Wolverine - Bishop - Cable the Larry Guy - Northstar - Y-Men |
Salacious 6 | Sr. Tentacles - Sabertooth - The Other 4 That nobody really cares about 'em |
Other teams | The Inhumans - The Guardians of the Galaxy -The Revengers - The Fantastic Four |
Marvel Gayimatic Universe
Rouge: Drax
The Goordians of the galaxy: Groot, Peter Quill, Gamora, Rocket Racoon