|Batroc.mp3 (file info)|
|Narration by Spike, 3:05, 2.12 Mb|
It is time zat zee people get straight zee record in who is zee greatest fighter in zee world, none uzzer zan moi. Batroc Zee Leapair! Deez entry is being written by moi, Batroc, to dispel all zee 'orríble rumours zat have bringed greet inphamy to ma 'onorable pèrsonne.
Zee ladies, zay cannot resist to zee suave personality of Batroc! Wherever I go I must be careful not to break zee ladies' heart zhust by preferring zee one over zee uzzers! Ladies, zere's plenty of Batroc for you all! Ohõhõhõ!
Now some ladies, zey do not know zeir hearts, zey cannot deal wiz zeir feelings for Batroc. Zey take out zee Restraining Order. So many orders, soixante orders. But Batroc knows zat zee restraining order is zhust anozzer way to say "I desire you"!
You don't know zees, but Batroc is also an academic consultant. Mon many doctorates in La Sorbonne make Reed Richards look like zee imbecile! But what fun is life behind zee desk?
My glory, it inspires many who try to equal to mon high accomplishments, but zey always fall very short. Merde alors! will zey ever learn?
Ah, ma fille Marie, my daughter, she will continue mon legacy! Batroc is very proud of her! Zee name Batroc is good for me, zhust as good for her too, non? Zee world does not deserve two of zee Batroc! (And Taskmaster, he dares to doubt ma sexualité! Ohõhõhõ! I tell you, Batroc has scored more times zan you have made le pipi!)
Zees "Loup Garou," he is zhust a copycat. He achieves nozzing for himself, he copies mon fashionable attire, even ma moustache! I would fly to Espagne today to kick his derrière, but Zût! Batroc he is trés busy now. Remember zat Batroc gets a piece of zee action, mon ami!
- Batroc the Leper
Zees guy, he got zee wrong word, que d'hommage! His only superpower is he falls apart on command. He does not know zee Savate, ze Stratezhee, but he looks up to moi. Can you blame him?
|The heroes, villains, and other people of Marvel Comics, from the creators of Stan Lee's Stripperella, and other Marvel classics as compiled by Uncyclopedia!|
|Superheroes and heroines||Captain Planet - The Amazing Fiber-Man - Spider-Woman - Mary Jane - The Incredible Hunk - The Scarlet Spider - Daredevil - Dr. Strange - The Punisher - Ghost Rider - Iron Man - Deadpool - Igloo - The other Captain Marvel - Stan Lee|
|Supervillains||Blackheart - Dr. Doom - Electro - Galactus - Green Goblin - Juggernaut - Mecha-Dracula - Rob Liefeld - Batroc - Kool-Aid Man - Loki - The Hobgoblin - Fred Phelps - Blackout the Vampire - Venom - Dr. Octopus - Spider-Man's Rogue's Gallery - The Creature|
|X-Men||Professor X - Apocyclopse - Gene Grey - Beast - Wolverine - Bishop - Cable the Larry Guy - Northstar|
|Salacious Six||Sr. Tentacles - Sabertooth|
|Other teams||The Inhumans - The Revengers - The Fantastic Four|