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Today's thing that needs to suffer Asperger Syndrome (pronounced ASS-burger SIN-drome) is a semi-voluntary behavioural disorder in the guise of a more serious and involuntary neurodevelopmental disability. Statistically it affects an undue number of radio talk show hosts and Hollywood actors, though it has yet to be determined whether the behavior guides ultimate vocation, or whether the condition results from prolonged exposure to ego-stroking. Some theorists believe that the entire Japanese people suffer from Asperger's Syndrome because of their tendency to stay emotionally detached in all situations except seppuku. (more...) Aspies should all know... *... that the rumors that you are paranoid were started by someone who's out to get you? *... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state? ... that the rumors that you are paranoid were started by someone who's out to get you? *... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state? ... that the rumors that you are paranoid were started by someone who's out to get you?	News to whine about "Cancel Netflix? If I only could!" Elon Musk: "Cancel Netflix! I don't care if Max wakes up." (Pictured) Labour approval hits record low during Starmer premiership, PM resorts to "getting down with the youth" The New York Yankees now fucking suck Russian ship shines annoying red laser pointer at British planes Ron DeSantis passes Florida bill allowing seniors to hunt zoomers for their skin and organs Russian economy on life support after barely growing in 3rd quarter The UK to ban the resale of tickets Bill passed in Pennsylvania to legalise flying cars because why the fuck not? Trump kills the penny after realizing spending four cents on a one cent coin isn't the best idea Russian AI powered humanoid robot faceplants on stage in front of crowd Syrian National Museum gets robbed of six to seven Roman statues Cloudy windy Hurricane Melissa hits da Jamaica, mon! BOMBOCLAAT! Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 2 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE raids • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • The New England Patriots barely beating crappy opponents • Mike Tomlin screwing the Pittsburgh Steelers Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • Nick Mangold • Jamaica • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya Nakadai • Sally Kirkland • The penny • Udo Kier • Jimmy Cliff Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song Contest • DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Chiefs Kingdom's livers and kidneys after realizing they will probably miss the playoffs • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" On this day... December 2: International Boring Nordic Culture Heritage Day 6000 BC - Mankind born from the toil of an ice giant melting into the ocean. 227 AD - Freyja starts a new line of Herbal soaps (Pictured) for all the smelly warriors living in Fólkvangr. Odin is unimpressed. 432 - Thor gets arrested in Valhalla after being accused of destroying an orphanage while driving a chariot under the influence. Embarrassed, the Nordic people convert to Christianity. 900 - Vik the Vinegar, a Viking explorer and real estate agent, discovers a big block of ice utterly unsuitable for human life. He gives it the name Greenland to attract customers. 1000 - Explorer and murderer Leif Erikson discovers America, but realizes his mistake in time and lets Columbus and Vespucci have all the blame. 2014 - Dylan Sprouse of Suite Life and Suite Life on Deck fame converts to Odinism and opens up a meadery in New York.
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