User:Crazyswordsman/slashy

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Today's thing that needs to suffer Asperger Syndrome (pronounced ASS-burger SIN-drome) is a semi-voluntary behavioural disorder in the guise of a more serious and involuntary neurodevelopmental disability. Statistically it affects an undue number of radio talk show hosts and Hollywood actors, though it has yet to be determined whether the behavior guides ultimate vocation, or whether the condition results from prolonged exposure to ego-stroking. Some theorists believe that the entire Japanese people suffer from Asperger's Syndrome because of their tendency to stay emotionally detached in all situations except seppuku. (more...) Aspies should all know... ... that the entire army of Liechtenstein consists of 3 soldiers? (Pictured) ... there's a ninja behind you but it left when you turned around? ... that 69% percent of statistics contain sexual innuendo? ... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one? ... that you've just lost the game? ... that apparently, this Charles Norris fellow is quite the ruffian? ... that on 17 June 2007, Britain was mercilessly hit by an attack of 'falling water'? ... that Karen is a female given name meaning "she who wants to see the manager"? ... that the The Antipodean Gallery of Post-Modern Art will play host to some of Pau Pei's most groundbreaking works of concentric art? (Pictured) ... that in order to complete the video game World of Warcraft, over one cubic mile of animals must be clicked? ... that ten out of ten cigarette manufacturers agree that Cancer is great? ... that Richard Nixon was well-known for his honesty and often referred to as Honest Dick? ... conjuction verb noun preposition article verb noun? ... that under Communism, everyone gets a C? ... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory? ... that the road to hell is identical to the stairs to heaven, but with elevator music and traffic? ... that the entire army of Liechtenstein consists of 3 soldiers? (Pictured) ... there's a ninja behind you but it left when you turned around? ... that 69% percent of statistics contain sexual innuendo? ... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one? ... that you've just lost the game? ... that apparently, this Charles Norris fellow is quite the ruffian? ... that on 17 June 2007, Britain was mercilessly hit by an attack of 'falling water'? ... that Karen is a female given name meaning "she who wants to see the manager"? ... that the The Antipodean Gallery of Post-Modern Art will play host to some of Pau Pei's most groundbreaking works of concentric art? (Pictured) ... that in order to complete the video game World of Warcraft, over one cubic mile of animals must be clicked? ... that ten out of ten cigarette manufacturers agree that Cancer is great? ... that Richard Nixon was well-known for his honesty and often referred to as Honest Dick? ... conjuction verb noun preposition article verb noun? ... that under Communism, everyone gets a C? ... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory? ... that the road to hell is identical to the stairs to heaven, but with elevator music and traffic? ... that the entire army of Liechtenstein consists of 3 soldiers? (Pictured) ... there's a ninja behind you but it left when you turned around? ... that 69% percent of statistics contain sexual innuendo? ... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one? ... that you've just lost the game? ... that apparently, this Charles Norris fellow is quite the ruffian? ... that on 17 June 2007, Britain was mercilessly hit by an attack of 'falling water'? ... that Karen is a female given name meaning "she who wants to see the manager"?	News to whine about World shocked as Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the bucket (Pictured) Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize Iran kept barely alive by Cardboard Ayatollah Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • Impossibly long lines at American airports Recent deaths: Chuck Norris doesn't die, he goes to Hell to regroup • Buffy • Xander Harris • Robert Mueller • Transgender self-identity in India • *DMV* - the TV show, not the actual DMV. It ended on a cliffhanger: Everyone was still waiting for their number to be called. Upcoming deaths: Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • TSA agents' bank accounts and sanity • Sora On this day... March 28: Turkey—the Country, not the Bird—Day 1453 - Constantinople wants to reinvent itself, changes name to Istanbul, but honestly everyone preferred Byzantium. 1784 - Benjamin Franklin proposes that the humble turkey be the national bird of the United States, since it's got a big juicy ass. 1871 - French revolutionaries form the Paris Commune, nascent leadership quickly devolves into squabbling over the finer points of Marx's Critique of the Gotha Program before getting skewered by French troops. 1979 - A nuclear meltdown in Three Mile Island, Pennsylvania actually mutates the population of Pittsburgh closer to normal. 1990 - George W. Bush gives the late Jesse Owens the Presidential Medal of Freedom, Bush now says he has black friend. 2018 - The traitor Gülen (Pictured) sits on his remote and changes the channel seconds before the climax to his favorite soap; God is with us brothers.
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