User:Crazyswordsman/slashy

Welcome to Aspiepedia, the autism-free encyclopedia that Dr. Anonymous Slashy, Ph. D. can edit. 40,971 different problems to whine about

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Today's thing that needs to suffer Asperger Syndrome (pronounced ASS-burger SIN-drome) is a semi-voluntary behavioural disorder in the guise of a more serious and involuntary neurodevelopmental disability. Statistically it affects an undue number of radio talk show hosts and Hollywood actors, though it has yet to be determined whether the behavior guides ultimate vocation, or whether the condition results from prolonged exposure to ego-stroking. Some theorists believe that the entire Japanese people suffer from Asperger's Syndrome because of their tendency to stay emotionally detached in all situations except seppuku. (more...) Aspies should all know... ... that you wash your ass not your pussy (Pictured) in the Bidet? ... that recent advances in nanobiotechnology have led to advanced, implantable music players capable of holding up to three seconds of low-quality MP3 audio? ... that a Pie Chart is the most delicious way of visually conveying information? ... that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering? ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes? ... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber? ... that everytime we touch, I get this feeling? ...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special? ... that grave robbing accounts for 1/3 of the average Romanian yearly income? (Pictured) ... that the great Wall Street Crash of 1929 led to many opportunities for great photography of homeless people and farmers covered in dust the following years? ... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments? ... Donald Trump? More like... Donald Gay! Hah, gottem! ... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything? ... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head? ... that the Rorschach inkblots all look kinda like my Aunt Gladys giving head to Satan? ... that this is why we can't have nice things? ... that you wash your ass not your pussy (Pictured) in the Bidet? ... that recent advances in nanobiotechnology have led to advanced, implantable music players capable of holding up to three seconds of low-quality MP3 audio? ... that a Pie Chart is the most delicious way of visually conveying information? ... that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering? ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes? ... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber? ... that everytime we touch, I get this feeling? ...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special? ... that grave robbing accounts for 1/3 of the average Romanian yearly income? (Pictured) ... that the great Wall Street Crash of 1929 led to many opportunities for great photography of homeless people and farmers covered in dust the following years? ... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments? ... Donald Trump? More like... Donald Gay! Hah, gottem! ... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything? ... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head? ... that the Rorschach inkblots all look kinda like my Aunt Gladys giving head to Satan? ... that this is why we can't have nice things? ... that you wash your ass not your pussy (Pictured) in the Bidet? ... that recent advances in nanobiotechnology have led to advanced, implantable music players capable of holding up to three seconds of low-quality MP3 audio? ... that a Pie Chart is the most delicious way of visually conveying information? ... that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering? ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes? ... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber? ... that everytime we touch, I get this feeling? ...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special?	News to whine about Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize (Pictured) Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran • Winter Paralympics • Saturn Awards • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed Recent deaths: Warner Bros. bidding war • Neil Sedaka • Ali Khamenei • Team Italy sled hockey • Miami Dolphins, twice • That guy from Boston. The band, not the city. But isn't the band from the city? Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • Weed • Dancin' Maduro • Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons On this day... March 18: World Happiness Day 51,000 BC - World Happiness Day is declared with a series of rhythmic grunts when two homo erecti discover fire. 1906 - Pope declares suicide a mortal sin, worse than butt sex, watching anime and murder. 1953 - Senator Joseph McCarthy briefly bans Kitten Huffing, but later retracts said decree, claiming he "was high off [his] ass." 1954 - Scientists fist discover the Moon, they later find out it wasn't really the Moon they discovered, but the Sun. 1985 - Australia's version of EastEnders premieres to the public, however, it made Aussies more happier than expected. 1993 - The Sun tells scientists it and earth should "Just be friends," the sun promises to call every few weeks. 2008 - After numerous requests by the American public, God finally damns It, It is never found. 2016 - A rerun of the smash hit TV show Full House is shown around the world, millions kill themselves, unable to stand the torture.
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