User:Crazyswordsman/slashy

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Today's thing that needs to suffer Asperger Syndrome (pronounced ASS-burger SIN-drome) is a semi-voluntary behavioural disorder in the guise of a more serious and involuntary neurodevelopmental disability. Statistically it affects an undue number of radio talk show hosts and Hollywood actors, though it has yet to be determined whether the behavior guides ultimate vocation, or whether the condition results from prolonged exposure to ego-stroking. Some theorists believe that the entire Japanese people suffer from Asperger's Syndrome because of their tendency to stay emotionally detached in all situations except seppuku. (more...) Aspies should all know... ... that Nelson Mandela (Pictured) was a cunt? ... that I just had sex, and hey do you got any napkins? ... that solid, liquid, and gas all come out your ass? ... that the brainrot is taking oveBRR BRR PATAPIM, IL MIO CAPPELO E PIENO DI SLIM! TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG SAHUR! BOMBARDINO CROCODILO! ... that the only way to survive a massive nuclear blast is to crouch underneath your desk? ... that existing is highly dangerous, and should not be performed unless you are competent enough to understand how to perform it? ... that the lawman/outlaw Wild Bill Hickok had one of the most celebrated mustaches in the Wild West? ... that I am writing this from beyond the grave? ... that Vincent Price is laughing at you from the grave? (Pictured) ... that creating an account comes with a 50% higher chance of leaving of Uncycloland alive? ... that wearing a Top Hat is not only a sound fashion choice, it gives you somewhere to hide candy? ... that everything will become nostalgic due to everything being worse? ... that in 2007 the Department of Homeland Security released a series of informative pamphlets on surviving a terrorist attack? ... that Karen is a female given name meaning "she who wants to see the manager"? ... that hitting your kids may be beneficial to their health, or at the very least amusing to you? ... that I'm better than this person in particular? ... that Nelson Mandela (Pictured) was a cunt? ... that I just had sex, and hey do you got any napkins? ... that solid, liquid, and gas all come out your ass? ... that the brainrot is taking oveBRR BRR PATAPIM, IL MIO CAPPELO E PIENO DI SLIM! TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG SAHUR! BOMBARDINO CROCODILO! ... that the only way to survive a massive nuclear blast is to crouch underneath your desk? ... that existing is highly dangerous, and should not be performed unless you are competent enough to understand how to perform it? ... that the lawman/outlaw Wild Bill Hickok had one of the most celebrated mustaches in the Wild West? ... that I am writing this from beyond the grave? ... that Vincent Price is laughing at you from the grave? (Pictured) ... that creating an account comes with a 50% higher chance of leaving of Uncycloland alive? ... that wearing a Top Hat is not only a sound fashion choice, it gives you somewhere to hide candy? ... that everything will become nostalgic due to everything being worse? ... that in 2007 the Department of Homeland Security released a series of informative pamphlets on surviving a terrorist attack? ... that Karen is a female given name meaning "she who wants to see the manager"? ... that hitting your kids may be beneficial to their health, or at the very least amusing to you? ... that I'm better than this person in particular? ... that Nelson Mandela (Pictured) was a cunt? ... that I just had sex, and hey do you got any napkins? ... that solid, liquid, and gas all come out your ass? ... that the brainrot is taking oveBRR BRR PATAPIM, IL MIO CAPPELO E PIENO DI SLIM! TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG SAHUR! BOMBARDINO CROCODILO! ... that the only way to survive a massive nuclear blast is to crouch underneath your desk? ... that existing is highly dangerous, and should not be performed unless you are competent enough to understand how to perform it? ... that the lawman/outlaw Wild Bill Hickok had one of the most celebrated mustaches in the Wild West? ... that I am writing this from beyond the grave?	News to whine about World shocked as Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the bucket (Pictured) Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran • Saturn Awards • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • Impossibly long lines at American airports Recent deaths: Miami Dolphins, twice • That guy from Boston, not the city, but the band, from the city • Chuck Norris doesn't die, he goes to Hell to regroup • Buffy • Xander Harris • Robert Mueller Upcoming deaths: Dancin' Maduro • Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • TSA agents' bank accounts and sanity On this day... March 23: Take Your Fish To Work Day 139 AD - Roman historian Erraticus publishes the fourth version of Life of Trajan, this one portaying Trajan as an emperor and retracting the previous version's claims that Trajan was a talking donkey. 1097 - St. Peter's Basilica was first used outside of the Vatican city during the first Crusades. 1952 - Beloved British children's author Enid Blyton publishes her most famous work, The Three Golliwogs. Please don't google it. 1956 - Pakistan declares itself to be an Islamic Republic, which is like the Old Republic except without the Jedi. 1962 - Dozens of women march on Washington D.C. to politely request feminine rights, their husbands sit at home without their supper. 1974 - The last dirty liberal is sent to serve in the Vietnam War, rendering America a perfect utopia of conservatives for nearly eighteen months. 2026 - a Plane has love affair with A track, making the worlds first Plane-Firetruck hybrid.
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