User:Crazyswordsman/slashy

Welcome to Aspiepedia, the autism-free encyclopedia that Dr. Anonymous Slashy, Ph. D. can edit. 41,005 different problems to whine about

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Today's thing that needs to suffer Asperger Syndrome (pronounced ASS-burger SIN-drome) is a semi-voluntary behavioural disorder in the guise of a more serious and involuntary neurodevelopmental disability. Statistically it affects an undue number of radio talk show hosts and Hollywood actors, though it has yet to be determined whether the behavior guides ultimate vocation, or whether the condition results from prolonged exposure to ego-stroking. Some theorists believe that the entire Japanese people suffer from Asperger's Syndrome because of their tendency to stay emotionally detached in all situations except seppuku. (more...) Aspies should all know... *... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"? *... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise? ... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"? *... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise? ... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"?	News to whine about Goodbye, pennies... The UK to ban the resale of tickets Bill passed in Pennsylvania to legalise flying cars because why the fuck not? Trump kills the penny after realizing spending four cents on a one cent coin isn't the best idea Russian AI powered humanoid robot faceplants on stage in front of crowd Syrian National Museum gets robbed of six to seven Roman statues Cloudy windy Hurricane Melissa hits da Jamaica, mon! BOMBOCLAAT! United Kingdom sends Royal Airforce “specialists” to Belgium to fight Russian drones “invading” airports A new candidate enters the upcoming 2028 presidential race US government shitdown ends after over 1000 flights inundated with shit New York City goes full Commie, elects Zohran Mamdani as mayor Los Angeles Dodgers win World Series with lucky bullshit, become the Kansas City Chiefs of baseball Dingo eats a woman's baby Interview: A Brief Chat About Uncyclopedia with Uncyclopedian and Lucky star. Indy police: former NFL quarterback Mark Sanchez literally butt-fumbles in real life Trump receives COVID vaccine despite supporters making their entire personalities being against it for years The US government shits itself Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing "Mamdani the Commie" • Larry Sanger trying to kill Wikipedia Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • the guitarist and a security guard from KISS • June Lockhart • Nick Mangold • Jamaica • Toronto Blue Jays' World Series dreams • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney • Mark Butt-fumble's TV career • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya Nakadai • Sally Kirkland • The penny • Bruce Willis Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song Contest • DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • Coral reefs • NYC's capitalistic economy • Bills Mafia's livers and kidneys after losing horribly to the Miami Dolphins • Weed • Stranger Things On this day... November 18: Constantly Hum the William Tell Overture Day, World Kool-Aid Day 1307 - William Tell (pictured) shoots an apple off his son's head. What they don't tell in the history books is that before this day, Tell had thirteen other children. 1626 - Due to an unfortunate typo, St. Peter's Basilica is accidentally desecrated instead of consecrated. 1978 - Jonestown incident: In Guyana, Jim Jones leads his People's Temple cult in a mass murder-suicide that claims 918 lives, leading Kool-Aid to revoke their sponsorship of Jones. 2001 - The Nintendo GameCube was released. It sells considerably better than the Nintendo Hypercube, which requires users to push buttons in four dimensions. 2009 - Spongebob Square pants attempts to try on round pants. The resulting wedgie places him in a 2-month long coma.
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