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39,395 different problems to whine about
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Today's thing that needs to suffer
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Asperger Syndrome (pronounced ASS-burger SIN-drome) is a semi-voluntary behavioural disorder in the guise of a more serious and involuntary neurodevelopmental disability. Statistically it affects an undue number of radio talk show hosts and Hollywood actors, though it has yet to be determined whether the behavior guides ultimate vocation, or whether the condition results from prolonged exposure to ego-stroking. Some theorists believe that the entire Japanese people suffer from Asperger's Syndrome because of their tendency to stay emotionally detached in all situations except seppuku. (more...)
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Aspies should all know...
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*... that the amazing sensation of excruciatingly warm liquid on the genitals is just one of many reasons to pour boiling hot water down your trousers?
*... that if you fold your arms and try to touch your feet you look like a complete fucking fool?
*... that if you fold your arms and try to touch your feet you look like a complete fucking fool?
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News to whine about
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"...at least panda meat doesn't give you autism!" ‑RFK Jr.
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On this day...
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March 27: Typhoid Mary Day
- 1513 - Spanish explorer Juan Ponce de León searches Florida for the Fountain of Youth, finds a Marshalls next to a Randalls next to another Marshalls.
- 1915 - Mary Mallon, nicknamed Typhoid Mary since her name is Mary and she gives people Typhoid, is detained by the authorities after killing like fifty people.
- 1921 - Activists from the group "Justice for Mary Mallon" die of typhoid after Mary prepares them all a lovely Peach Melba. (Pictured)
- 1998 - The head of the FDA recommends that men suffering from premature ejaculation just "think about your dad."
- 1999 - A Lockheed F-117 Nighthawk is shot down over Serbia by a Slav wielding an evil glare.
- 2014 - The Moro Islamic Liberation Front agrees to ceasefire with Philippines government while they figure out what's so fucking hilarious about their name.
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