User:Crazyswordsman/slashy

Welcome to Aspiepedia, the autism-free encyclopedia that Dr. Anonymous Slashy, Ph. D. can edit. 41,445 different problems to whine about

Whining Edutainment Our only friends

Dangerous Quaint What we understand

What we're good at Lessons All

Today's thing that needs to suffer Asperger Syndrome (pronounced ASS-burger SIN-drome) is a semi-voluntary behavioural disorder in the guise of a more serious and involuntary neurodevelopmental disability. Statistically it affects an undue number of radio talk show hosts and Hollywood actors, though it has yet to be determined whether the behavior guides ultimate vocation, or whether the condition results from prolonged exposure to ego-stroking. Some theorists believe that the entire Japanese people suffer from Asperger's Syndrome because of their tendency to stay emotionally detached in all situations except seppuku. (more...) Aspies should all know... ... that there's only one way to party? (Pictured) ... Donald Trump? More like... Donald Gay! Hah, gottem! ... that my mom's name is also Martha? ... that nobody can describe what a simile is like? ... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time? ... that The Oldest Trick in the Book was first chronicled in cuneiform by the Ancient Sumerians, who lived on the windswept steppes of Mesopotamia? ... that 5/3 people cannot do fractions? ... that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! ... that this topless woman is clearly unhappy about her situation? (Pictured) ... that a simile is like a metaphor? And hyperbole is the greatest thing ever? ... that Boston Bruins goaltender Gerry Cheevers was one of the most feared hockey players in the so-called "stick to the groin" era? ... that former POTUS Joe Biden once stepped in dog shit? ... that the amazing sensation of excruciatingly warm liquid on the genitals is just one of many reasons to pour boiling hot water down your trousers? ... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores? ...that the fleshy monstrosity is god and you should become absorbed by it, it will consume all ... that the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop? ... that there's only one way to party? (Pictured) ... Donald Trump? More like... Donald Gay! Hah, gottem! ... that my mom's name is also Martha? ... that nobody can describe what a simile is like? ... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time? ... that The Oldest Trick in the Book was first chronicled in cuneiform by the Ancient Sumerians, who lived on the windswept steppes of Mesopotamia? ... that 5/3 people cannot do fractions? ... that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! ... that this topless woman is clearly unhappy about her situation? (Pictured) ... that a simile is like a metaphor? And hyperbole is the greatest thing ever? ... that Boston Bruins goaltender Gerry Cheevers was one of the most feared hockey players in the so-called "stick to the groin" era? ... that former POTUS Joe Biden once stepped in dog shit? ... that the amazing sensation of excruciatingly warm liquid on the genitals is just one of many reasons to pour boiling hot water down your trousers? ... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores? ...that the fleshy monstrosity is god and you should become absorbed by it, it will consume all ... that the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop? ... that there's only one way to party? (Pictured) ... Donald Trump? More like... Donald Gay! Hah, gottem! ... that my mom's name is also Martha? ... that nobody can describe what a simile is like? ... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time? ... that The Oldest Trick in the Book was first chronicled in cuneiform by the Ancient Sumerians, who lived on the windswept steppes of Mesopotamia? ... that 5/3 people cannot do fractions? ... that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk!	News to whine about Honoring the life and principles of Kirk To achieve a truly sustainable, green society, the UK's Green Party votes to destroy Israel Uncyclopedia finishes the puzzle Some idiot from Oman tries to recreate 9/11 Concurrent Kirkiversaries cause confusion (Pictured) Chuck Norris's ghost does massive fart, knocks Uncyclopedia offline several times Xbox begins rationing Game Pass to 2 hours of playtime/month, Trump launches personal Twitch stream to compensate Trump invents new lake to piss off Canada; even most Americans roll eyes Grand Republic of Cleveland renames Lake Erie the "Gulf of Cleveland" just because. We're serious! Social Security retires, takes the money and runs rather than deal with the inevitable Britain abuses Emergency Alert System to tell people not to use BBQs Country you've never heard of changes name, not too different from old name Mr. Blobby burninates the whole of Europe Ongoing: Letterboxd outage • Trump claiming victory in Iran... for, like, the 2 millionth time or something • The Great Sheeranist Divide • The wait for GTA VI (for real this time!) • Paramount and Warner Bros. merging into one giant evil streaming corp Recent deaths: Rukidi IV • Harald V • Lionel Messi's FIFA career • Victor Miller • Gloria Steinem • Mr. Belding Upcoming deaths: Dr. Fauci • Low Tier God • Bruce Campbell • New Mexico • Ed Sheeran • Xbox On this day... October 5: National Telegraph Appreciation Day (brought to you by TT&A, your local telegraph provider) 1337 BC - The telegraph is invented by Greek inventor Teleos Graphodopoulos. 337 BC - Alexander the Great celebrates 1,000th anniversary of telegraphy by having world's first telegraph sex with his lover, George Michael; boasts of his "long dash." 663 - Mohammed telegraphs his intentions to destroy all Christian infidels. Celebrations of telegraph's 2,000th anniversary are cancelled. 1371 - Blinding snowstorm snarls traffic, downs telegraph lines in Ming Dynasty's first test of emergency preparedness. 1921 - The World Series was broadcast on the radio for the first time. Telegraph announcer at the World Series loses all fingers trying to keep up. He sues all radio owners making them give him their fingers; He now has over a million fingers on each hand. 1926 - The first error 404 appeared in a telegraph (in this thing called the "internet") 1931 - Before crashing in France, the British airship R101 sends an urgent SOS telegram, until they realize there's nothing connected onto the other end of it. 2006 - Google and SUN Microsystems release their thin-client telegraph server, codenamed GTelegraph, to combat Microsoft. 2006 - Western Union cancels telegraphic service, saying "We're gonna try out this new telly-phone deal the kids are so fond of."
Today's featured picture Template:Featured Image
edit Recent Articles Why is book? Halloween Ends Stranger Things (rw) G.I. Jane G.I. Jane 2 UnTunes:Santa Baby This is not an Article, it's a Sandwich Fairytale UnTunes:Shoes Uncyclopedia:Business (rw) Halloween Kills UnTunes:Perry the Platypus Elon's Musk UnGames:Ultimate Fishing (rw) UnTunes:Rio Herodotus (rw) Brawny Lawnmower-Humvee (rw) Steve Wozniak (rw) Narrative (rw) Bryan Adams High School Alex Trebek Lincoln Logs Brexit Where Is Everybody? UnTunes:Animal (with actual animals) Avi Toledano Eli Roth Film (remake) African American Worst 100 Reflections on 2018 Ray Charles Urban Dictionary More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...
Writer and Noob of the Month Template:Monthly Awards

Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.