User:Crazyswordsman/slashy

Welcome to Aspiepedia, the autism-free encyclopedia that Dr. Anonymous Slashy, Ph. D. can edit. 41,148 different problems to whine about

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Today's thing that needs to suffer Asperger Syndrome (pronounced ASS-burger SIN-drome) is a semi-voluntary behavioural disorder in the guise of a more serious and involuntary neurodevelopmental disability. Statistically it affects an undue number of radio talk show hosts and Hollywood actors, though it has yet to be determined whether the behavior guides ultimate vocation, or whether the condition results from prolonged exposure to ego-stroking. Some theorists believe that the entire Japanese people suffer from Asperger's Syndrome because of their tendency to stay emotionally detached in all situations except seppuku. (more...) Aspies should all know... *... that sarcasm is a higher form of wit than the Russian Reversal? *... that the Welsh language was created when someone fell asleep on a keyboard? ... that sarcasm is a higher form of wit than the Russian Reversal? *... that the Welsh language was created when someone fell asleep on a keyboard? ... that sarcasm is a higher form of wit than the Russian Reversal?	News to whine about Great start to the year! Trump given yet another Nobel Peace Prize for ending war he started 3 hours ago (Pictured) Kansas City Chiefs impulsively fire Missouri as home state, moving to actual Kansas after missing playoffs UnNews wishes to all users a merry December Holiday Dick Van Dyke is 100, bitches! ICE spotted stealing everyone's ice cream in America North Sentinelese discover fire, accidentally burn down entire island Elon Musk: "Cancel Netflix! I don't care if Max wakes up." 6 or 7 buildings burn in Hong Kong Labour approval hits record low during Starmer premiership, PM resorts to "getting down with the youth" The New York Yankees now fucking suck Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI and Spaceballs 2 • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Baltimore Ravens fans shitting themselves after both their teams choked big-time • Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Venezuelans unsure whether to freak out or celebrate Recent deaths: Doug Dimmadome • Zed's dead, baby (He was also the bad guy in The Mask) • Animal Farm • Kansas City Chiefs', Dallas Cowboys', Detroit Lions', Indianapolis Colts', Buccaneers' and Ravens' seasons • Rob Reiner • Bowen Yang's tenure on SNL • Patrick Mahomes' and his backup's ACLs • Brigitte Bardot • Carl Yastrzmski • 2025 • The MetroCard • Stranger Things • Kali • Vecna • The Upside Down • Buffalo Sabres' unexpected 10-game win streak Not dead: Eleven Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • The Pittsburgh Steelers' fucking up once again • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • The Sabres actually being good? • Ravens' kicker • Dancin' Maduro On this day... January 7: Black Karl Marx Day 698 - King Arthur has a white wine with his cottage pie instead of a red, the round table become concerned. 1608 - The settlement of Jamestown, Virginia burns down after a careless farmer leaves the smoking tobacco too close to the firewood. 1954 - The first demonstration of computer speech is performed in Georgetown University by an IBM machine, it says: suck it nerds 1959 - The U.S. Government sends Fidel Castro fifteen crates of the finest American cigars, which only look like live sticks of dynamite. 1989 - In response to allegations of class reductionism, the Democratic Socialists of America release the new and improved Black Karl Marx, now 40% more intersectional. (Pictured) 2012 - Pope Francis excommunicates the Vatican's fancy Pope throne in favor of a lame white chair, the peasants cheer, but God cries. 2017 - Black Karl Marx calls one of his female colleagues honeybun, is temporarily taken out of commission.
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