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40,982 different problems to whine about
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Today's thing that needs to suffer
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| Asperger Syndrome (pronounced ASS-burger SIN-drome) is a semi-voluntary behavioural disorder in the guise of a more serious and involuntary neurodevelopmental disability. Statistically it affects an undue number of radio talk show hosts and Hollywood actors, though it has yet to be determined whether the behavior guides ultimate vocation, or whether the condition results from prolonged exposure to ego-stroking. Some theorists believe that the entire Japanese people suffer from Asperger's Syndrome because of their tendency to stay emotionally detached in all situations except seppuku. (more...)
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Aspies should all know...
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- ... that AMC's hit series Breaking Bad Wind (Pictured) featured the actors' real farts?
- ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now?
- ... that there is no other word for thesaurus?
- ... tennis isn't just a game?
- ... that removing the rubber bands from the claws of a Lobster can result in oh god get it off get it OFF OH GOD MY FACE!
- ... that the fictional droid C-3PO is fluent in over six million forms of communication, but only four of them are love?
- ... that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?
- ... that the universe is made up of protons, electrons, neutrons and morons?
 - ... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"?
- ... that there's a tunnel under Ocean Blvd?
- ... that Ann Coulter is a highly successful parody of right-wing political rhetoric?
- ... that, because of Anonymous' credibility, he has become a frequent source of information for news articles?
- ... that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"?
- ... that 5/3 people cannot do fractions?
- ... that 90% of all video game high scores are set by one guy called "AAA"?
- ... that AMC's hit series Breaking Bad Wind (Pictured) featured the actors' real farts?
- ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now?
- ... that there is no other word for thesaurus?
- ... tennis isn't just a game?
- ... that removing the rubber bands from the claws of a Lobster can result in oh god get it off get it OFF OH GOD MY FACE!
- ... that the fictional droid C-3PO is fluent in over six million forms of communication, but only four of them are love?
- ... that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?
- ... that the universe is made up of protons, electrons, neutrons and morons?
- ... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"?
- ... that there's a tunnel under Ocean Blvd?
- ... that Ann Coulter is a highly successful parody of right-wing political rhetoric?
- ... that, because of Anonymous' credibility, he has become a frequent source of information for news articles?
- ... that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"?
- ... that 5/3 people cannot do fractions?
- ... that 90% of all video game high scores are set by one guy called "AAA"?
- ... that AMC's hit series Breaking Bad Wind (Pictured) featured the actors' real farts?
- ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now?
- ... that there is no other word for thesaurus?
- ... tennis isn't just a game?
- ... that removing the rubber bands from the claws of a Lobster can result in oh god get it off get it OFF OH GOD MY FACE!
- ... that the fictional droid C-3PO is fluent in over six million forms of communication, but only four of them are love?
- ... that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?
- ... that the universe is made up of protons, electrons, neutrons and morons?
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News to whine about
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On this day...
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March 8: International Men Without Penises Day
- 4000 BC - God creates Eve, Adam celebrates that he doesn't have to keep stroking it by himself.
- 4001 BC - Eve forces Adam to sleep outside the hut after expecting free handies without anything in return.
- 1919 - Women marching on Washington, D.C. seeking the right to vote cite Oscar Wilde's play A Woman of No Importance as an example of misogynistic views.
- 1935 - Sophia blesses the women of the Earth by giving them the G-Spot, although men are cursed to never find it.
- 1978 - Your mother is born. According to statistics, she likely experiences 18-34 years of relative ease before you are born.
- 2026 - Losers on 4chan and Reddit rant about how they never got the girl of their dreams (Pictured), despite being "nice guys."
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