User:Crazyswordsman/slashy

Welcome to Aspiepedia, the autism-free encyclopedia that Dr. Anonymous Slashy, Ph. D. can edit. 39,842 different problems to whine about

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Today's thing that needs to suffer Asperger Syndrome (pronounced ASS-burger SIN-drome) is a semi-voluntary behavioural disorder in the guise of a more serious and involuntary neurodevelopmental disability. Statistically it affects an undue number of radio talk show hosts and Hollywood actors, though it has yet to be determined whether the behavior guides ultimate vocation, or whether the condition results from prolonged exposure to ego-stroking. Some theorists believe that the entire Japanese people suffer from Asperger's Syndrome because of their tendency to stay emotionally detached in all situations except seppuku. (more...) Aspies should all know... *... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes? *... that Deus ex machina is Latin for "cop out"? ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes? *... that Deus ex machina is Latin for "cop out"? ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes?	News to whine about Clearly not Deion Sanders vouching for his son Trump: "You're not the boss of me now and you're not so big." Phil Collins comes out of retirement after wank PBS and NPR to lose funding Spain and Portugal experience a country-wide blackout Sportswriter Leon Sandcastle gives his two cents on NFL draftee Shedeur Sanders's draft slide (Pictured) Trump believes that 200 countries negotiated trade deals with him Man delivers profound philosophical speech about elephants during his sojourn at the zoo Upcoming South Park season will be Canadian World shocked as Pope Francis kicks bucket (This is not a drill!) Chris Rock will succeed him in new comedy Head of Church Trump Administration prepares to deport everybody except Native Americans New Easter Bunny is a fascist Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, and Deltarune • Eurovision • Russian Invasion • Israel-Palestine conflict • DOGE budget cuts • SWAT teams on guard for the "chicken jockey" scene of A Minecraft Movie • Trump and Xi's tariff games • The IRS hunting late tax payers Recent deaths: Jay North • SPOILER: Joel • Pope Francis • Shedeur Sanders' career, before it even started • Lar Park Linkin • Gawr Gura • Toxicity • Girl-kisser and Harriet the Spy soundtrack artist Jill Sobule • Ruth Buzzi • LeBron James' playoff run Upcoming deaths: U.S. and Global economy • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Laura Palmer • DEI • Google's ad monopoly • Cleveland Browns' locker room • LeBron James' career • Diddy's chance at freedom On this day... May 8: National Bad Hair Day (Estonia) 1359 - Pantaloons invented, could dainty wooden clogs be far behind? 1778 - Pampered aristocracy of Western Europe first stitch curly lapdogs to their scalp. (Pictured) 1914 - Errors in year length calculations result in three months of 1913 repeated. 1919 - Warren G. Harding molests his index finger before turning the page. 1924 - Holy 26th Crusade to Monterey, California is unsuccesful because of wrong navigation and ends up in Rio de Janeiro. 1945 - V-E Day, victory in Europe: France unconditionally surrenders to US troops, paving the way for the construction of EuroDisney. 1982 - Abolition of the fixed turnip/gold exchange rate endorsed by American government. 1989 - Bay City Rollers declare: "We're still mad for plaid!"
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