Today's thing that needs to suffer
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| Asperger Syndrome (pronounced ASS-burger SIN-drome) is a semi-voluntary behavioural disorder in the guise of a more serious and involuntary neurodevelopmental disability. Statistically it affects an undue number of radio talk show hosts and Hollywood actors, though it has yet to be determined whether the behavior guides ultimate vocation, or whether the condition results from prolonged exposure to ego-stroking. Some theorists believe that the entire Japanese people suffer from Asperger's Syndrome because of their tendency to stay emotionally detached in all situations except seppuku. (more...)
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Aspies should all know...
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- ... that the Easter Bunny must kill every 100 years? (Pictured)
- ... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores?
- ... that the Red Baron, in addition to being the deadliest ace fighter pilot of World War I, traveled through time?
- ... that you... you should have gone for my head? Oh Snap!
- ... that Drake the type of dingbat to believe everything he reads on Uncyclopedia?
- ... that the Rorschach inkblots all look kinda like my Aunt Gladys giving head to Satan?
- ... that Mercury is not a miracle substance and does not cure AIDS?
- ... that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility?
 - ... that wearing a Top Hat is not only a sound fashion choice, it gives you somewhere to hide candy?
- ... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A?
- ... that if you laid out all of the nerves in your body end-to-end, you'd die?
- ... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
- ... that the packets of silica gel that say "DO NOT EAT" are actually delicious?
- ... that when a suicide bomber dies and goes to paradise, he is given 72 virgins? But all of them are wiki editors?
- ... that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! And after we walked there barefoot across three counties 'cause bicycles hadn't been invented yet, we had to teach ourselves how to read the books - none of that fancy free-contents education you kids're all on about...
- ... that the Easter Bunny must kill every 100 years? (Pictured)
- ... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores?
- ... that the Red Baron, in addition to being the deadliest ace fighter pilot of World War I, traveled through time?
- ... that you... you should have gone for my head? Oh Snap!
- ... that Drake the type of dingbat to believe everything he reads on Uncyclopedia?
- ... that the Rorschach inkblots all look kinda like my Aunt Gladys giving head to Satan?
- ... that Mercury is not a miracle substance and does not cure AIDS?
- ... that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility?
- ... that wearing a Top Hat is not only a sound fashion choice, it gives you somewhere to hide candy?
- ... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A?
- ... that if you laid out all of the nerves in your body end-to-end, you'd die?
- ... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
- ... that the packets of silica gel that say "DO NOT EAT" are actually delicious?
- ... that when a suicide bomber dies and goes to paradise, he is given 72 virgins? But all of them are wiki editors?
- ... that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! And after we walked there barefoot across three counties 'cause bicycles hadn't been invented yet, we had to teach ourselves how to read the books - none of that fancy free-contents education you kids're all on about...
- ... that the Easter Bunny must kill every 100 years? (Pictured)
- ... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores?
- ... that the Red Baron, in addition to being the deadliest ace fighter pilot of World War I, traveled through time?
- ... that you... you should have gone for my head? Oh Snap!
- ... that Drake the type of dingbat to believe everything he reads on Uncyclopedia?
- ... that the Rorschach inkblots all look kinda like my Aunt Gladys giving head to Satan?
- ... that Mercury is not a miracle substance and does not cure AIDS?
- ... that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility?
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