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40,664 different problems to whine about
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Today's thing that needs to suffer
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| Asperger Syndrome (pronounced ASS-burger SIN-drome) is a semi-voluntary behavioural disorder in the guise of a more serious and involuntary neurodevelopmental disability. Statistically it affects an undue number of radio talk show hosts and Hollywood actors, though it has yet to be determined whether the behavior guides ultimate vocation, or whether the condition results from prolonged exposure to ego-stroking. Some theorists believe that the entire Japanese people suffer from Asperger's Syndrome because of their tendency to stay emotionally detached in all situations except seppuku. (more...)
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Aspies should all know...
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*... that I am inside your walls?
*... that making drugs explode in your stomach is not a good way to make yourself smarter?
- ... that I am inside your walls?
*... that making drugs explode in your stomach is not a good way to make yourself smarter?
- ... that I am inside your walls?
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News to whine about
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On this day...
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September 12: Captain Picard Appreciation Day
- 14,000 BC - Q sends the crew of the USS Enterprise-E back in time to the country of France. Spitting in the face of the Prime Directive once again, Picard teaches the cavemen how to paint on the walls, a trait still exhibited in toddlers.
- 490 BC - A Greek guy runs 42.195 km from Marathon to Athens, announcing the Persian defeat and survival of Western civilization. Unfortunately, he is overtaken in the last leg by the team from Kenya and has a heart attack.
- 22 - Museum of Ancient Geese opens
- 1609 - Mark Smith discovers the Hudson River. Shortly after the discovery, Henry Hudson stabs him and claims it for himself. This is generally considered the fifth greatest coincidence of all time.
- 1683 - Battle of Vienna - Several European armies join forces to defeat the Ottoman Empire and their allies, the Sultanate of Sofa.
- 1818 - Richard Gatling, inventor of the gatling gun, is born. By six he has invented a rapid-fire slingshot and by ten, a BB gun featuring a rotating array of twelve barrels.
- 1940 - Q sends a young Jean-Luc Picard and three of his high school peeps back in time to this date. The group discovers the Lascaux cave paintings.
- 1951 - Anti-rioting technology goes on display in Paris. Rioting ensues.
- 1984 - Leonard Bernstein dies for the second time.
- 1990 - East and West Germany share a tearful Reunion
- 1991 - The Cold War ends, and many people are left thinking, "it wasn't that cold". It was that cold in Russia.
- 1997 - This was an actual year??
- 2001 - Amnesiacs International select the World Trade Center in New York City as the site of their 2002 convention.
- 2003 - Johnny Cash passes away. But first he shoots a man in Reno, just to watch him die.
- 2005 - England regain the Ashes, only to realise the next day the whole series was just a dream.
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