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40,964 different problems to whine about
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Today's thing that needs to suffer
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| Asperger Syndrome (pronounced ASS-burger SIN-drome) is a semi-voluntary behavioural disorder in the guise of a more serious and involuntary neurodevelopmental disability. Statistically it affects an undue number of radio talk show hosts and Hollywood actors, though it has yet to be determined whether the behavior guides ultimate vocation, or whether the condition results from prolonged exposure to ego-stroking. Some theorists believe that the entire Japanese people suffer from Asperger's Syndrome because of their tendency to stay emotionally detached in all situations except seppuku. (more...)
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Aspies should all know...
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- ... that the world will beat a path to your door if you build a better Mousetrap?
- ... that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans?
- ... the muffin man?
- ... that the concept of Hell dates back to ancient Egyptians' fear of sand burning your feet?
- ... that I am writing this from beyond the grave?
- ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions?
- ... that two peanuts were walking down a street and one was a salted?
 - ... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments?
- ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?
- ... that you've just lost the game?
- ... that suicide is an answer to every problem, just not a very good one?
- ... that the Virgin Birth is no longer considered a miracle? Women have been giving birth to virgins for centuries!
- ... that in an experiment known as Monty Hall problem, if you never make up your mind about which door to choose, the goat behind the door will grow tired and burst out?
- ... that making drugs explode in your stomach is not a good way to make yourself smarter?
 - ... that the world will beat a path to your door if you build a better Mousetrap?
- ... that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans?
- ... the muffin man?
- ... that the concept of Hell dates back to ancient Egyptians' fear of sand burning your feet?
- ... that I am writing this from beyond the grave?
- ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions?
- ... that two peanuts were walking down a street and one was a salted?
- ... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments?
- ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?
- ... that you've just lost the game?
- ... that suicide is an answer to every problem, just not a very good one?
- ... that the Virgin Birth is no longer considered a miracle? Women have been giving birth to virgins for centuries!
- ... that in an experiment known as Monty Hall problem, if you never make up your mind about which door to choose, the goat behind the door will grow tired and burst out?
- ... that making drugs explode in your stomach is not a good way to make yourself smarter?
- ... that the world will beat a path to your door if you build a better Mousetrap?
- ... that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans?
- ... the muffin man?
- ... that the concept of Hell dates back to ancient Egyptians' fear of sand burning your feet?
- ... that I am writing this from beyond the grave?
- ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions?
- ... that two peanuts were walking down a street and one was a salted?
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News to whine about
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On this day...
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March 14: American π Day
- 27 AD - Greeks fight valiantly against Russell Crowe in a vast gladiatorial event to define π as the ratio of the circumference of a circle divided by its radius.
- 435 AD - Pope Sixtus III denouces π, claiming it to be the work of Satan, as a number which never ends seems too cruel for a loving God to have made.
- 1603 - "American" Apple pie actually invented by the Aztecs, used as aphrodisiac.
- 1707 - The Physics Act of 1707 defines π to be 22/7, which scientists of the era proclaim as close enough.
- 1891 - The pie chart is first invented, sadly, the original prototype has long since been eaten. Future pie charts are now inedible.
- 2004 - The day Krabs fries
- 2005 - The Kansas Board of Education restores pi to its traditional value of three and a bit, stating, "Certain features of the universe are best explained by an intelligent cause, not an undirected process such as mathematics."
- 2020 - A resident of New York City passes away after contracting the π virus.
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