User:Crazyswordsman/slashy

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the autism-free encyclopedia that Dr. Anonymous Slashy, Ph. D. can edit.
41,142 different problems to whine about

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Today's thing that needs to suffer

Asperger Syndrome (pronounced ASS-burger SIN-drome) is a semi-voluntary behavioural disorder in the guise of a more serious and involuntary neurodevelopmental disability. Statistically it affects an undue number of radio talk show hosts and Hollywood actors, though it has yet to be determined whether the behavior guides ultimate vocation, or whether the condition results from prolonged exposure to ego-stroking. Some theorists believe that the entire Japanese people suffer from Asperger's Syndrome because of their tendency to stay emotionally detached in all situations except seppuku. (more...)

Aspies should all know...

*... Jared Leto fucked your bf and he totally enjoyed it?
*... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears?
  • ... Jared Leto fucked your bf and he totally enjoyed it?
*... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears?
  • ... Jared Leto fucked your bf and he totally enjoyed it?

News to whine about

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Don't ask what any of this has to do with Christmas.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 3 and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as PrinceRich New Yorkers fleeing MamdanistanLarry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Indianapolis Colts dragging an old man out of retirementBills Mafia shitting themselves after losing the division to the Patsies due to a terrible kicker

Recent deaths: Doug DimmadomeZed's dead, baby (He was also the bad guy in The Mask) • Animal Farm • Kansas City Chiefs', Dallas Cowboys', Detroit Lions' and Indianapolis Colts' seasons • Rob ReinerBowen Yang's tenure on SNLPatrick Mahomes' backup's ACL

Upcoming deaths: Donald TrumpNYC's economy • Pittsburgh Steelers' season • Weed67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • The MetroCardDick van Dyke, eventually • 2025Stranger Things

On this day...

Always Kills Governments, Always!

December 30: Last Chance To Do All The Things You Wanted To Do This Year Day

  • 4004 BC - God remembers to create the Earth. Oh, and everything else, too. Except for sliced bread.
  • 4 BC - Emperor Augustus remembers he was gonna have a census this year! Having missed his opportunity, he proclaims, "Let there be a day upon which all things previously contemplated throughout the last year finally be at once accomplished! Except for tomorrow. But shhhh!" Thus, the "Last Chance To Do All The Things You Wanted To Do This Year Day" was inaugurated.
  • 1037 - King Arthur loses the holy grail to Nigerian timeshare scammers, crusades ensue.
  • 1999 - Procrastinators think about preparing for the Y2K bug, but put it off until December 31.
  • 2002 - Saddam Hussein realises he forgot to send George Bush a Christmas card.
  • 2004 - Weren't we gonna start a parady of wickerpedialyte? Yeah? Shit! Better luck next year.
  • 2005 - Forget it! If it ain't done, wait 'til next year.
  • 2006 - Saddam Hussein executed for forgetting to send Bush a Christmas card. Again.
  • 2012 - The Mayans remember to end the world with a BANG!

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