From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
40,971 different problems to whine about
|
|
|
|
|
Today's thing that needs to suffer
|
| Asperger Syndrome (pronounced ASS-burger SIN-drome) is a semi-voluntary behavioural disorder in the guise of a more serious and involuntary neurodevelopmental disability. Statistically it affects an undue number of radio talk show hosts and Hollywood actors, though it has yet to be determined whether the behavior guides ultimate vocation, or whether the condition results from prolonged exposure to ego-stroking. Some theorists believe that the entire Japanese people suffer from Asperger's Syndrome because of their tendency to stay emotionally detached in all situations except seppuku. (more...)
|
Aspies should all know...
|
- ... that I am Batman?
- ... that 90% of all video game high scores are set by one guy called "AAA"?
- ... that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
- ... that although the effects of alternative medicine are difficult to separate from a placebo, dumb hippies are easy to separate from their money?
- ... that Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle is Partly Visible?
- ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
- ... that the only way the bible could have more holes is if it were written on Jesus's skin?
  - ... that I am Batman?
- ... that 90% of all video game high scores are set by one guy called "AAA"?
- ... that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
- ... that although the effects of alternative medicine are difficult to separate from a placebo, dumb hippies are easy to separate from their money?
- ... that Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle is Partly Visible?
- ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
- ... that the only way the bible could have more holes is if it were written on Jesus's skin?
- ... that I am Batman?
- ... that 90% of all video game high scores are set by one guy called "AAA"?
- ... that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
- ... that although the effects of alternative medicine are difficult to separate from a placebo, dumb hippies are easy to separate from their money?
- ... that Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle is Partly Visible?
- ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
- ... that the only way the bible could have more holes is if it were written on Jesus's skin?
|
|
News to whine about
|
Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd.
|
On this day...
|
|
April 1: April Fools' Day
- 1926 - April Emily Fools is born to Herb and Emma Fools in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
- 1938 - At the age of twelve, Fools first shows an interest in baking when she helps her grandmother bake cookies.
- 1944 - Fools lands her first job, working at a tank tread manufacturing plant in downtown Milwaukee.
- 1949 - After a lengthy engagement, April marries Albert Cranston in Madison, Wisconsin.
- 1952 - Upon the suggestion of a friend, April begins a small baked goods business from her own kitchen.
- 1955 - April and Albert welcome their first child into the world: Richard Cranston, named after his paternal grandfather.
- 1957 - The Cranston family welcomes their second child, Judy.
- 1971 - April enjoys what she would later describe as "the rush of a lifetime" after appearing on a local television program instructing children how to bake brownies.
- 1978 - Albert and April become grandparents to Henry Cranston.
- 1994 - April Emily Fools-Cranston passes away in her hometown of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. The Milwaukee Herald declares her birthday a national holiday.
- 2022 - In honor of April, Morbius is released, raking in morbillions at the box office and boosting her family's trust to guarantee the continued support of the April Fools Baking Institute for years to come.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Template:Sister projects/languages
Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.
