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Today's thing that needs to suffer Asperger Syndrome (pronounced ASS-burger SIN-drome) is a semi-voluntary behavioural disorder in the guise of a more serious and involuntary neurodevelopmental disability. Statistically it affects an undue number of radio talk show hosts and Hollywood actors, though it has yet to be determined whether the behavior guides ultimate vocation, or whether the condition results from prolonged exposure to ego-stroking. Some theorists believe that the entire Japanese people suffer from Asperger's Syndrome because of their tendency to stay emotionally detached in all situations except seppuku. (more...) Aspies should all know... ... that playing Dungeons & Dragons has caused many teenagers to loose their grip on reality? (Pictured) ... that Karen is a female given name meaning "she who wants to see the manager"? ... that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience? ...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special? ... that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped? ... that The Great Toilet Paper Famine of 2020 was caused by Uncyclopedians? ... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death? ... that doody played a very important role in the development of quantum physics? ... that the "special ingredient" for Wendy's chili is a closely guarded secret? (Pictured) ... that nobody asked? ... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke? ... that everything will become nostalgic due to everything being worse? ... that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, the sister drug to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, is very effective against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis? ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word? ... that there is a pipe bomb placed in your mailbox? ... that Abraham Lincoln was an accomplished skateboarder? ... that playing Dungeons & Dragons has caused many teenagers to loose their grip on reality? (Pictured) ... that Karen is a female given name meaning "she who wants to see the manager"? ... that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience? ...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special? ... that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped? ... that The Great Toilet Paper Famine of 2020 was caused by Uncyclopedians? ... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death? ... that doody played a very important role in the development of quantum physics? ... that the "special ingredient" for Wendy's chili is a closely guarded secret? (Pictured) ... that nobody asked? ... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke? ... that everything will become nostalgic due to everything being worse? ... that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, the sister drug to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, is very effective against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis? ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word? ... that there is a pipe bomb placed in your mailbox? ... that Abraham Lincoln was an accomplished skateboarder? ... that playing Dungeons & Dragons has caused many teenagers to loose their grip on reality? (Pictured) ... that Karen is a female given name meaning "she who wants to see the manager"? ... that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience? ...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special? ... that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped? ... that The Great Toilet Paper Famine of 2020 was caused by Uncyclopedians? ... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death? ... that doody played a very important role in the development of quantum physics?	News to whine about He literally fought nail and tooth for Team America Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey (Pictured); Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters So.. about that Super Bowl.. Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Next season's Super Bowl revealed to be on Valentine's Day Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over • Team Canada rethinking life Recent deaths: Brad Arnold • NFL season • Winter Olympics • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson • YouTube • Tom Noonan • Eric Dane • Melania Trump's big movie star career • Team Canada hockey, twice, AND their curling team Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy and snow handling capability • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files • the US government, again • Warner Bros. (?) • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to remember • Mexico On this day... February 23: Vin Diesel Saying the Word "Family" Day 1455 - The Gutenberg Bible is first printed, God brags that he is now a published author. 1923 - Werner Heisenberg plans to describe the uncertainty principle to his peers, but is unsure if they'll like it or not. 1941 - Scientists first create Plutonium, but instead of getting cool superpowers they just get cancer and die. 1947 - The International Organization for Standardization is founded to make Americans feel insecure about the customary system. 1999 - Kurdish leader Abdullah Öcalan is sentenced to death by Turkey due to mustache jealousy. 2015 - Vin Diesel (Pictured) says the word family so many times it doesn't even sound like a word anymore.
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