User:Crazyswordsman/slashy

Welcome to Aspiepedia, the autism-free encyclopedia that Dr. Anonymous Slashy, Ph. D. can edit. 41,110 different problems to whine about

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Today's thing that needs to suffer Asperger Syndrome (pronounced ASS-burger SIN-drome) is a semi-voluntary behavioural disorder in the guise of a more serious and involuntary neurodevelopmental disability. Statistically it affects an undue number of radio talk show hosts and Hollywood actors, though it has yet to be determined whether the behavior guides ultimate vocation, or whether the condition results from prolonged exposure to ego-stroking. Some theorists believe that the entire Japanese people suffer from Asperger's Syndrome because of their tendency to stay emotionally detached in all situations except seppuku. (more...) Aspies should all know... *... that the only cure for the hiccups is an orgasm? *... that the light at the end of the tunnel is commonly reported to be a strobe light accented with techno? ... that the only cure for the hiccups is an orgasm? *... that the light at the end of the tunnel is commonly reported to be a strobe light accented with techno? ... that the only cure for the hiccups is an orgasm?	News to whine about Too bad you can't customize this in the original. Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April (Pictured) Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Buffalo Bills owner Terry Pegula proven to be clueless, fires the wrong guy Denver Broncos quarterback Bo Nix accidentally curses himself in playoff win Ongoing: Eurovision Green Room in danger of sexual harassment • The wait for GTA VI and Spaceballs 2 • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • New England Patriots fans being insufferable like it's 2016 • r/TheDarnold having a field day • ICE-y chaos in Minnesota • Fallout from the Epstein Files • Winter Olympics Recent deaths: The MetroCard • Stranger Things • the other Black guy from John Carpenter's The Thing • Bob Weir • Scott Adams • Kianna Underwood • Buffalo Bills', San Francisco 49ers', Houston Texans' and Da Bears' seasons • Bo Nix's ankle • Sean McDermott's Bills tenure • Denver Broncos' and Los Angeles Rams' seasons • Uncyclopedia • Catherine O'Hara • Lamont Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce On this day... February 7: Shit! I Forgot My Lines... Day 1599 - Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio, a man of uhh, shit. Line. Line, I need the— 1600 - A man of Infinite Jest. Of most excellent fancy. Wait, asshole. 1601 - Yeah, got it. Ahem. I knew him Horatio, a man of infinite jest. Of most fancy—Fuck—of most excellent fancy. 1602 - If this happens on the night we'll just use the alternate. 1603 - How about you go fuck yourself, I'm the artist around here, you just tell people where to move on stage. 1604 - Whatever, Kenneth Branagh, you do whatever you fucking want. 1605 - I don't need you, nobody needs you, I'll make my own fucking lines. I'm the fucking bard. Motherfucker.
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