User:Crazyswordsman/slashy

Welcome to Aspiepedia, the autism-free encyclopedia that Dr. Anonymous Slashy, Ph. D. can edit. 40,293 different problems to whine about

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Today's thing that needs to suffer Asperger Syndrome (pronounced ASS-burger SIN-drome) is a semi-voluntary behavioural disorder in the guise of a more serious and involuntary neurodevelopmental disability. Statistically it affects an undue number of radio talk show hosts and Hollywood actors, though it has yet to be determined whether the behavior guides ultimate vocation, or whether the condition results from prolonged exposure to ego-stroking. Some theorists believe that the entire Japanese people suffer from Asperger's Syndrome because of their tendency to stay emotionally detached in all situations except seppuku. (more...) Aspies should all know... *... that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network? *... that reading this DYK suggestion just wasted 10 seconds of your life? ... that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network? *... that reading this DYK suggestion just wasted 10 seconds of your life? ... that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network?	News to whine about Trump sends condolences to tough-guy actor "Mikey Madison" (Pictured) Clint Eastwood announces plans to live forever Trumpman introduces Trumpmobile Diddy gets off easy, possibly due to bribing jury Musk establishes "Porky Pig Party" to combat Trump's "Big Beautiful Bill" United Nations Secretary General gives up on world peace, World War Three begins Netanyahu and Khamenei get it on Trump joins in for threesome, blows load Khamenei fails to follow up after dirty talk, taps out Elon Musk breaks up with Trump Trump sends condolences to "Sly Stallone" Trump celebrates TACO Wednesday by reversing course on long-held campaign promise THE ROCKIES HAVE WON A SERIES! Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War • Trump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Animal-related live-action remakes kicking Snow White's ass • Jaws 50th anniversary • Colorado Rockies game replacing Jaws airing • Israel/Iran "peace talks" • Pittsburgh Steelers adding old players way past their prime • Rock drummer exodus (not to be confused with Tom Hunting or Zbigniew Fyk) Recent deaths: Ariana Grande's Nonna • Canadian team's bid to win the Stanley Cup, again • PF4Eva's headphone cable • Jimmy Swaggart • Diddy's freedom for only 20 years • Michael Madsen • Diogo Jota • Texas flood victims Upcoming deaths: DEI • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screen • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • Greta Thunberg? • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices • Dumbasses with fireworks in their backyards • Diddy's bank account after incoming lawsuits • The asshats who spoiled Squid Game On this day... July 13: Surreptitiously Masturbate Near A Sleeping Stranger Day 1921 – Sinead O'Connor is arrested for indecent exposure in a coma ward. 1945 – The Manhattan Engineering District achieves its first major success, giving the ability of flight to a medium-sized mouse. 1987 – The United States Supreme Court rules that disciplining your monkey near a sleeping stranger (pictured) is unconstitutional. 2003 – Stunningly gorgeous tennis sensation Martina Hingis stuns her fans by announcing her retirement. Her fans cry for days and refuse to eat. 2005 – Uncyclopedia viciously and unfairly deleted by extremist Wikipedians. 2009 – The Uncyclopedia Anniversaries break the fourth wall by telling you to get a job, you lazy git!
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