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From today's featured article [Feature an article]

Syria is a magnificent, beautiful land in the Middle East. It comprises everything from barren mountain ranges and barren coastlines to barren deserts and barren steppes. Syria is also rich in culture, with a detailed history that stretches back several thousand years.

The current head of state is President-for-Life Bashar al-Assad, who stumbled upon the presidency in 2000 following the tragic and completely accidental deaths of his father, then the president, and his brother Basil, former heir apparent. The country has been in a state of civil unrest for several years as a popular uprising against Bashar al-Assad has led to complicated and devastating war which has killed over 100,000 people and displaced millions more. Despite this, nine out of ten Americans cannot point out Syria on a map, and three out of ten believe "Syria" to be a brand of citrus-flavored soft drink. (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that the Black Knight always triumphs? (Pictured)

...the IRS is asking what's love got to do with your taxes?
... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time?
...that the largest collection of human bullshit is located in the United States Congress?
... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
... that the amazing sensation of excruciatingly warm liquid on the genitals is just one of many reasons to pour boiling hot water down your trousers?
... the muffin man?
... that anyone who dies at Disneyland receives a free lifetime pass?

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In the news [edit]

Well, that says a lot...

Omaha man's order of salmon sliders indistinguishable from salmon burgers
Charlie Kirk gets l+ratio'd during a speech in Utah
Sheeranism officially legalised in Yankeeland (Pictured)
Angela Rayner defects to Reform UK
Hollow Knight: Silksong gets released; Steam crashes for the second time this year
Some mega pop star and her boyfriend get engaged. Yaaay.
NFL teams replace female cheerleaders with gay dudes
Trump presents new science project to Cabinet
Uncyclopedia introduces AI Age Guesser™, petition nears 100,000 signatures
Trump fires Zakk Wylde
Trump sends condolences to "Ozzie Nelson," "Paul Hogan," "Luigi Mangione"
Epstein list predictions

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia/Ukraine and Israel/Hamas "peace talks" • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • SNL cast exodus • K-pop: The Movie • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys

Recent deaths: Ozzy Osbourne • Chuck Mangione • Hulk Hogan • Resident Alien • Down syndrome • Tom Lehrer • The system • FUBAR • Cartoon Network on Comcast's basic cable package • Sydney Sweeney's new movie • Terence Stamp • The Devil's Rejects Unrated Director's Cut 4K (also Saw 2 & 3) • Trump's pet sloth • Joe Burrow's toe • Robert Redford

Upcoming deaths: DEI • R. Kelly and Bryan Kohberger (in jail) • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • The flowers you bring Alan Bergman • Dallas Cowboys' and Cincinnati Bengals' seasons • MSNBC • Lil Nas X • Donald Trump • Windows 10

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On this day [edit]

September 24: Weasel Stomping Day

3000 BC - Greek philosopher Atheises founds the Order of Dyslexic Atheists and declares as its motto "There is no dog!"
1541 - Paracelsus, Swiss alchemist, passes away after being drained by a bitter rivalry with the alchemist Parafahrenheit.
1789 - United States History: the position of Attorney General is established, to act as general over the army of attorneys raised during the Revolutionary War.
1906 - U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt proclaims Devils Tower the nation's first National Monument after obsessively sculpting the rock formation in mashed potatoes.
1939 - Adolf Hitler gets into a hedge dispute with his Polish neighbour.

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Picture of the day

Osama bin Grinchen has declared Jihad on the holiday season and commands Islamists to ruin it for infidel children worldwide.

Image credit: Modusoperandi
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 40,686 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.