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155 active editors • 41,093 articles in English

From today's featured article 

Берклий атомы.gif

Oh-mi-gawddd, my stupid chemistry professor is making us write this stupid presentation and essay on like, an element? Anyway I chose Berkelium because it sounds like UC Berkeley, GOOOOOOO BERKS! Okay, Hayleigh, write all this down, k? K.

Berkelium, symbol Bk, atomic number 97, is one of those squares in that poster on the science classroom wall. It is, like, liter-uhh-ly one of those elements that only exists because scientists were bored and had nothing else to do. (Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ... that 9/11 (Pictured) was an outside job?
  • ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
  • ... that the entire world rightfully belongs to Albania?
  • ... that sarcasm is totally the highest form of wit?
  • ... that people residing or visiting Canada often ask themselves, "Why am I in Canada?"
  • ... that if you poke a whale in the tummy it will giggle like a schoolgirl?
  • ... that 100% of people who are rushed to the hospital will die?
  • ... that reading this DYK suggestion just wasted 10 seconds of your life?

In the news 

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"Nyaaah, it's not worthless, mommy, I WANT IT!"

Ongoing: Eurovision Green Room in danger of sexual harassment • The wait for GTA VI and Spaceballs 2 • Rich New Yorkers fleeing MamdanistanLarry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Venezuelans unsure whether to freak out or celebrate • Bills Mafia drinking themselves to death • New England Patriots fans being insufferable like it's 2016 • r/TheDarnold having a field day

Recent deaths: Brigitte BardotCarl Yastrzmski2025 • The MetroCardStranger ThingsKaliVecnaThe Upside Downthe other Black guy from John Carpenter's The ThingBob WeirScott AdamsKianna UnderwoodBuffalo Bills', San Francisco 49ers', Houston Texans' and Da Bears' seasons • Bo Nix's ankle • Sean McDermott's Bills tenureDenver Broncos' and Los Angeles Rams' seasons

Not dead: Eleven

Upcoming deaths: Donald TrumpNYC's economy • Weed67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • Dancin' Maduro • The Kansas City "Chiefs" • Aaron Rodgers' career • Bills' Super Bowl window

On this day 

"Grant, your hands are really sticky. Please let go of me Grant. Grant."

January 26: Civil War Day

Picture of the day

Little Miss Psycho
Children's books as they should be, without sugar-coating.

Image credit: Bonjo Nelson
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 41,093 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.