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From today's featured article 

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Mario Kart is a CIA-assisted conspiracy project driving simulator franchise developed by the power-hungry Japanese corporation-from-hell known as Nintendo. It has went on to become one of the company's best-selling franchises since its beginning in God-knows-when. Various characters from Nintendo's Super Mario franchise are placed into a massive friendship-destroying hellhole to drive go-carts and annihilate each other with various weapons of mass destruction. While its well-known origins as a coordinated attempt by the paranoid American Central Intelligence Agency to sever bonds between youth in order to reduce the possibilities of juvenile uprisings around the U.S.A. (and the rest of the world) still have influence over the development of modern Mario Kart games, the main driving force nowadays is Nintendo's endless lust and greed. (Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ... that no, doing this does not make your incompetence any less obvious? (Pictured)
  • ... pole dancing was introduced to Egyptian culture by Cleopatra?
  • ... that the entire world rightfully belongs to Albania?
  • ... that 90% of all video game high scores are set by one guy called "AAA"?
  • ... Nautical knots are not knots that can be knotted into knots (most likely not)?
  • ... that Ann Coulter is a highly successful parody of right-wing political rhetoric?
  • ... that the populations of many endangered species can be increased with a simple Wikipedia edit?
  • ... that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish?

In the news 

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Free bus passes and shawarma for everyone! Until the money runs out..

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • Pregnant moms taking Tylenol to give their babies "autism powers" • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Republicans and rich people fleeing NYC

Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • A guitarist and a security guard from KISS • June Lockhart • Nick Mangold • Jamaica, at the hands of Hurricane Melissa • Toronto Blue Jays' World Series dreams • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!)

Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song Contest • DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • Aforementioned Tylenol moms • Mark Butt-fumble's career • Coral reefs • The economy of Capitalism in NYC • Bills Mafia's livers and kidneys after losing horribly to the Miami Dolphins

On this day 

Beware the Red Warmongering Llama!

November 11: First World War Appreciation Day (Commonwealth States)

  • 1911 - After four bloody years of battle, the first World War finally comes to an end on November 11, 1911, at twelve minutes past eleven o'clock. FDR took too long in signing the papers and spoiled the symmetry.
  • 1914 - Archduke Franz Ferdinand is assassinated in Bosnia. His final words were: "I know I won't be leaving here (with you)." While people are still wondering what the hell he meant, War is declared against France.
  • 1914 12:15pm - France surrenders.
  • 1918, 13:51pm - France claims its total surrender was a tactical ploy to draw the enemy onto their battlefield of choice.
  • 1918, 13:52pm - Whole world laughs at France for being undeniable pussies.

Picture of the day

Waiting Wilde
 Unable to reach Him by phone, Oscar Wilde took his seat in God's waiting room (also called purgatory). It is believed that he waits there to this day.

Image credit: RadicalX
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 40,970 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.

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