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From today's featured article 

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In mid-2005, Satan had started to publicly question and denounce Tyson's recognition as the "Baddest Man on the Planet." When Tyson learned of this via an interview, Tyson grinned at the camera. Soon after this interview, Tyson challenged Satan to a professional boxing match in order to see "who the baddetht man of the planet really ith." Satan accepted and arranged for the fight to happen in Hell.

For Tyson this fight was for all the marbles: lose, and his soul would be damned to Hell; win, and his soul would be taken into the Kingdom of Heaven. (Full article...)

Did you know... 

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In the news 

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"It's for the children's own good!"

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian InvasionGaza WarTrump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Superman and Super Dog's movie doing surprisingly well • Israel/Iran and Russia/Ukraine "peace talks" • Pittsburgh Steelers adding old players way past their prime • Rock drummer exodus (not to be confused with Tom Hunting or Zbigniew Fyk)

Recent deaths: Diddy's freedom for only 20 years • Michael MadsenBill Cosby's TV sonBryan Kohberger's freedom • Ozzy OsbourneChuck MangioneHulk HoganResident AlienDown syndromeTom LehrerThe systemFUBAR

Upcoming deaths: DEIPittsburgh Steelers' locker room • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices • Diddy's bank account after incoming lawsuits • The asshats who spoiled Squid GameMAGAJoe Biden's credibility • The flowers you bring Alan Bergman • Bryan Kohberger, at the hands of his fellow inmates

On this day 

August 5: Mysterious Woody At The Mall Day:
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  • 1812 - Famed time traveller Woody Harrelson goes back in time to bring the idea of the mall to the past.
  • 1924 - The comic strip Little Orphan Annie debuts. (pictured)
  • 1940 - Joseph Stalin is caught with a woody at the mall. Later that evening, twelve million peasants are killed.
  • 1955 - Carmen Miranda dies; shares of United Fruit decline 20% in heavy trading.
  • 1962 - Film actress and sex icon Marilyn Monroe is found dead in her Los Angeles home, apparently having overdosed on sleeping pills. Teenaged males everywhere declare an International Day of No Masturbation to mourn her passing.
  • 1980 - Woody Allen appears mysteriously at Detroit strip mall, but is disappointed to find that the Big Boy doesn't offer kosher meals.
  • 1984 - Toronto Blue Jay's player Cliff Johnson gets good wood.
  • 2000 - Academy Award winning actor Sir Alec Guiness dies at the age of 86. Or at least, it is assumed he died, since all that is found is an empty robe and a lightsaber.

Picture of the day

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A long time ago, in a galaxy, far, far away...

Image credit: Bad Motherfucker
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