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From today's featured article
God (born God Cohen in 4004 BC in Liverpool, England) is one of the most famous and prolific musicians in the Western world. Though he recorded under the name God during his early career, a contractual dispute with his former label led him to change his recording name to YHVH. Due to YHVH being an unpronounceable set of consonants, he is most often referred to as "The Artist Formerly Known as God," "TAFKAG," or simply "The Artist." Throughout his career he has embraced many styles of music and is cited as an influence by a wide array of current artists. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that the The Antipodean Gallery of Post-Modern Art will play host to some of Pau Pei's most groundbreaking works of concentric art? (Pictured)
- ... that the world will beat a path to your door if you build a better Mousetrap?
- ... that the average human male between the ages of 18 and 42 has thought about sex with Brad Pitt at least once?
- ... no, you didn't! Stop lying!
- ... that recent advances in nanobiotechnology have led to advanced, implantable music players capable of holding up to three seconds of low-quality MP3 audio?
- ... that there is no other word for thesaurus?
- …that it’s offensive to call them “black pencils” and we should call them “pencils of colour isntead”?
- ... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
In the news
- Kansas City Chiefs impulsively fire Missouri as home state, moving to actual Kansas after missing playoffs
- UnNews wishes to all users a merry December Holiday (Pictured)
- Dick Van Dyke is 100, bitches!
- ICE spotted stealing everyone's ice cream in America
- North Sentinelese discover fire, accidentally burn down entire island
- Elon Musk: "Cancel Netflix! I don't care if Max wakes up."
- 6 or 7 buildings burn in Hong Kong
- Labour approval hits record low during Starmer premiership, PM resorts to "getting down with the youth"
- The New York Yankees now fucking suck
- Russian ship shines annoying red laser pointer at British planes
- Ron DeSantis passes Florida bill allowing seniors to hunt zoomers for their skin and organs
- Russian economy on life support after barely growing in 3rd quarter
- The UK to ban the resale of tickets
- Bill passed in Pennsylvania to legalise flying cars because why the fuck not?
- Trump kills the penny after realizing spending four cents on a one cent coin doesn’t "make cents"
- Russian AI powered humanoid robot faceplants on stage in front of crowd
- Syrian National Museum gets robbed of six to seven Roman statues
- Cloudy windy Hurricane Melissa hits da Jamaica, mon! BOMBOCLAAT!
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 3 and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Indianapolis Colts dragging an old man out of retirement • Bills Mafia shitting themselves after losing the division to the Patsies due to a terrible kicker
Recent deaths: Doug Dimmadome • Zed's dead, baby (He was also the bad guy in The Mask) • Animal Farm • Kansas City Chiefs', Dallas Cowboys', Detroit Lions' and Indianapolis Colts' seasons • Rob Reiner • Bowen Yang's tenure on SNL • Patrick Mahomes' backup's ACL
Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Pittsburgh Steelers' season • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • The MetroCard • Dick van Dyke, eventually • 2025 • Stranger Things
On this day
December 30: Last Chance To Do All The Things You Wanted To Do This Year Day
- 4004 BC - God remembers to create the Earth. Oh, and everything else, too. Except for sliced bread.
- 4 BC - Emperor Augustus remembers he was gonna have a census this year! Having missed his opportunity, he proclaims, "Let there be a day upon which all things previously contemplated throughout the last year finally be at once accomplished! Except for tomorrow. But shhhh!" Thus, the "Last Chance To Do All The Things You Wanted To Do This Year Day" was inaugurated.
- 1037 - King Arthur loses the holy grail to Nigerian timeshare scammers, crusades ensue.
- 1999 - Procrastinators think about preparing for the Y2K bug, but put it off until December 31.
- 2002 - Saddam Hussein realises he forgot to send George Bush a Christmas card.
- 2004 - Weren't we gonna start a parady of wickerpedialyte? Yeah? Shit! Better luck next year.
- 2005 - Forget it! If it ain't done, wait 'til next year.
- 2006 - Saddam Hussein executed for forgetting to send Bush a Christmas card. Again.
- 2012 - The Mayans remember to end the world with a BANG!
Picture of the day
 |
GI Jew: The Movie is a 2006 remake of the classic Torah! Torah! Torah! of 1967 fame. The remake underwent many names before GI Jew was chosen, including Hebrews with Hutzpah and Israel is Real. Image credit: RadicalX |
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