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From today's featured article

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UNN Washington DC -– Today the United States added an additional level to its colorful Homeland Security warning system when it declared that the nation's terrorist threat level was elevated to Gut Level and assigned to the color "Bile".

Secretary of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff stated that “after months of having a gut feeling that those Taliban people would do this nation harm and were organizing an attack on the United States, we have finally added the color Bile to the Homeland Security Advisory System to indicate those times when you just have a nagging feeling that something could be going on.”

Joining Chertoff in the announcement was President Bush, who added “Both Secretary Chertoff and I have had unverifiable feelings that the evildoers were out there doing something…something is eminent…and you know it's, well it's just something that you feel could be on the horizon, but something that we just can't get our hands around it." (Full article...)

Did you know...

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  • ... that Angelina Jolie took method acting to the extreme to play the role of Slim in A Bug's Life? (Pictured)
  • ... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?"
  • …that it’s offensive to call them “black pencils” and we should call them “pencils of colour isntead”?
  • ... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore?
  • ... that it's been proven beyond reasonable doubt that 50% of modern marriages end in divorce because of arguments inside IKEA stores?
  • ... that doody played a very important role in the development of quantum physics?
  • ... that Deus ex machina is Latin for "cop out"?
  • ... that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility?

In the news

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"It's for the children's own good!"

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War • Trump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Superman and Super Dog's movie doing surprisingly well • Israel/Iran and Russia/Ukraine "peace talks" • Pittsburgh Steelers adding old players way past their prime • Rock drummer exodus (not to be confused with Tom Hunting or Zbigniew Fyk)

Recent deaths: Diddy's freedom for only 20 years • Michael Madsen • Diogo Jota • Texas flood victims • LA ICE raids • Connie Francis • Alan Bergman • Bill Cosby's TV son • Bryan Kohberger's freedom • Ozzy Osbourne • Chuck Mangione • Hulk Hogan • Resident Alien • Down syndrome • Tom Lehrer • The system

Upcoming deaths: DEI • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices • Diddy's bank account after incoming lawsuits • The asshats who spoiled Squid Game • MAGA • Joe Biden's credibility • The flowers you bring Alan Bergman • Bryan Kohberger, at the hands of his fellow inmates

On this day

It's easy. Just follow the sign.

August 2: Intentionally Give A Stranger Misleading Directions Day

  • 456 - Maurading Mongol hoardes are repeatedly given misleading directions, resulting in wide swaths of carnage being cut through unsuspecting and largely unpopulated regions of central Europe.
  • 1877 - When asked for directions by a stranger, Oscar Wilde, then at the height of his wit, searingly suggested that the stranger seek directions from his own mother.
  • 1922 - Allen Zeitgeist asks for directions to New York from Boston. Told to "turn left where the large tree used to be" the series of events that followed causes the stock mareket crash and the great depression.
  • 1939 - Tomasz Wankovszki, a Ukrainian farmer, accidentally starts World War II by sending the German army into Poland, telling them that it is actually a shortcut to Czechoslovakia.
  • 1939 - Hitler refuses to order troops to stop at gas station and ask for directions; Warsaw and Krakow invaded by accident.
  • 1993 - The shocking discrepancy between men and woman drivers who ask for directions is highlighted in a study by Cambridge professor Dr. Gerry von Coppenfeels.


Picture of the day

Darwin and St. Michael
 St. Michael the Archangel attempts to slay Charles Darwin to prevent him from revealing Michael's horrible secret. Darwin, belonging to the fitter of the species, survived.

Image credit: Isra1337
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