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From today's featured article 

Water.jpeg

Water is a colorless and abundant substance that's foolishly believed to be harmless and essential to life. No. More than 99.9% of the entire world population is so addicted to it they would fucking die were they deprived of this product. So severe would the withdrawal symptoms be they would, at best, have days to live without medical intervention. Humans, who have opened their eyes know they can live water free with meditation, inhaling diamond dust or drinking human and animal blood (just like paleo-cavemen used to do). We don't need water. Water is a scam. How many animals do you see drinking water? Only pets like cats and dogs that are forced to. Other animals don't. (You cannot find a single example if you tried.) It's unnatural. Humans started drinking water 5,000 years ago and this mind-virus spread and has never retreated. Little do they know the plan was designed from the beginning by a cabal of mentally challenged Mesopotamians who set the framework for mass human suffering (more later).

The elite don't want you do know that water is responsible for JFK's assassination, 9/11, the Mongol Horde, Princess Diana's murder and, worst of all, the most unforgivable calamity known to man: unleashing Justin Bieber on an unsuspecting world of innocent humans. (Full article...)

Did you know... 

Chilifinger.jpg
  • ... that the "special ingredient" for Wendy's chili is a closely guarded secret? (Pictured)
  • ... that although the effects of alternative medicine are difficult to separate from a placebo, dumb hippies are easy to separate from their money?
  • ... that I let the dogs out, and you can't do a goddamn thing about it?
  • ... that Earth is the best planet in the world?
  • ... that individuals born under the sign of Gemini are often flammable and vulnerable to bear attacks?
  • ... that the lawman/outlaw Wild Bill Hickok had one of the most celebrated mustaches in the Wild West?
  • ...that this sentence is incomple
  • ... that Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle is Partly Visible?

In the news 

Obama tough.png
Boxer shorts, like a real man. And Bruce Lee black pants.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War • Trump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Superman and Super Dog's movie doing surprisingly well • Israel/Iran and Russia/Ukraine "peace talks" • Pittsburgh Steelers adding old players way past their prime • Rock drummer exodus (not to be confused with Tom Hunting or Zbigniew Fyk)

Recent deaths: Diddy's freedom for only 20 years • Michael Madsen • Diogo Jota • Texas flood victims • LA ICE raids • Connie Francis • Alan Bergman • Bill Cosby's TV son • Bryan Kohberger's freedom

Upcoming deaths: DEI • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices • Diddy's bank account after incoming lawsuits • The asshats who spoiled Squid Game • MAGA • Joe Biden's credibility • The flowers you bring Alan Bergman • Bryan Kohberger, at the hands of his fellow inmates

On this day 

Always a concern on National Hysteria Day.

July 22: Oh, my God! It's National Hysteria Day (United States), and you HAVEN'T MADE ANY PLANS!

  • 0 – Scientists decide the Earth is round, not flat. This is proven wrong when a sailor "falls off" the world and is never seen again.
  • 1066 – King Harold inaugurates National Hysteria Day with his famous speech "Holy shit! It's the fucking Normans! AAAAAAAAA!"
  • 1855 – A brief cease-fire is called in the Crimean War until Lord Raglan gets his sobbing under control.
  • 1929 – Dozens of stockbrokers and bankers leap out of windows in wild National Hysteria Day celebration.
  • 1966 – Australian Prime Minister Sir Robert Menzies celebrates the nine hundredth anniversary of National Hysteria Day by running around in circles, screaming.
  • 1986 – Copious amount of vodka-induced partying causes several employees of the Chernobyl nuclear power plant to hysterically panic when the reactor can't handle the sound system. They take out a few control rods to compensate the drain on the power grid.
  • 1990 – Media outlets report the outbreak of a deadly virus in the United States. Thirty-eight people die of panic attacks from the announcement, and two more are killed by the virus itself.
  • 2006 – TOTAL FUCKING HYSTERIA!

Picture of the day

American Imperialism
 Though the United States' new strategy in Iraq has proven effective at routing insurgent rebels, it has done little to relieve the stigma of what many perceive as American imperialism.

Image credit: Thetoastman
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