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From today's featured article 

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It may come as a surprise to many people that the cult of the celebrity, seemingly a modern phenomenon, has in fact been around since the earliest days of history. Indeed, BIBLE!, a weekly magazine specialising in celebrity news and human-interest stories, was first published in what is now the Middle East on October 22nd, 4004 BCE and enjoyed several thousand years as a best-selling title until its eventual closure in the middle of the 2nd Century CE. Despite this, demand for the magazine remained high and as a result the entire print run was collated into a compendium issue which remains in print and sells many millions of copies each year. (Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ... that I started drowning two minutes before typing this? (Pictured)
  • ... that the light at the end of the tunnel is commonly reported to be a strobe light accented with techno?
  • ... that suicide is an answer to every problem, just not a very good one?
  • ... that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish?
  • ...that you actually didn't know?
  • ... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"?
  • ... that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network?
  • ... that Liechtenstein is completely pointless?

In the news 

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Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian InvasionGaza WarTrump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Animal-related live-action remakes kicking Snow White's ass • Jaws 50th anniversary • Colorado Rockies game replacing Jaws airing • Israel/Iran "peace talks" • Pittsburgh Steelers adding old players way past their prime • Rock drummer exodus (not to be confused with Tom Hunting or Zbigniew Fyk)

Recent deaths: Ariana Grande's NonnaCanadian team's bid to win the Stanley Cup, again • PF4Eva's headphone cable • Jimmy SwaggartDiddy's freedom for only 20 years • Michael MadsenDiogo Jota

Upcoming deaths: DEITom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screenPittsburgh Steelers' locker room • Greta Thunberg? • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices • Dumbasses with fireworks in their backyards • Diddy's bank account after incoming lawsuits • The asshats who spoiled Squid Game

On this day 

Nothing is sexier than pregnancy.

July 8: Pregnancy Appreciation Day

Picture of the day

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Microsoft Internet Explorer's Popup Blocker has always left something to be desired.

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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 40,271 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.