User:Orangutang94/Sam Darnold
“ALL HAIL MVP ELECT, GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD”
– Oscar Wilde on Sam Darnold
“SAM DARNOLD WILL MAKE FOOTBALL GREAT AGAIN!”
– The Donald on The Darnold
His Godliness Samuel Richard Darnold, GEQBUS, aka "The Darnold", IS A QUARTERBACK SO AWESOME HE BLOWS ALL OTHER QUARTERBACKS AWAY. HE IS THE BEST QUARTERBACK. SO AWESOME THAT TWO STUPID TEAMS DIDNT KNOW HOW TO USE HIM PLUS A THIRD THAT LET HIM GO FOR STUPID "NINE MAN", SAD! HE IS NOW ON BEST TEAM, TEAM OF THE NORTH WEST!
ALL HAIL GEQBUS. GEQBUS DEMANDS SUPER BOWLS BE AWARDED TO HIM. ALL SUPERBOWLS ARE RIGGED, RIGGED, RIGGED!
ORIGINS OF THE GEQBUS[edit | edit source]
SAMUEL R. DARNOLD WAS BORN IN SAN CLEMENTE, CALIFORNIA. A CITY IN WHICH HIS INFLUENCE WAS SO GREAT THEY ALMOST RENAMED IT "SAM CLEMENTE", CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!
AFTER SHATTERING EVERY HIGH SCHOOL RECORD IN LIBERAL CALIFORNIA, A FEAT THAT FELLOW QB PROSPECT CRYIN' JOSH ALLEN FAILED TO DO FOR NOT MAKING FOOTBALL HIS ONLY SPORT, OUR GLORIOUS GEQBUS WENT TO USC AND SHATTERED EVERY RECORD THERE TOO! EVEN GRADUATED A YEAR EARLY UNLIKE OTHER RINO USC QBS LIKE FUMBLING MARK SANCHEZ!
CAREER OF THE GEQBUS[edit | edit source]
New York Jokes[edit | edit source]
Carolina Panthers[edit | edit source]
Sam Francisco 49ers[edit | edit source]
Minnesota Vikings[edit | edit source]
DARNOLD SIGNED ON WITH THE MINNESOTA VIKINGS, THEN DRAFT PICK JJ MCCARTHY FALLS TO MCCARTHYISM AND TORE HIS STUPID ACL. THEN DARNOLD STARTS WINNING, IN FACT, HE WON SO MUCH THAT EVERYONE GOT TIRED OF WINNING! 14 GAMES, VERY NICE! DARNOLD BECAME WORTHY OF THE GEQBUS TITLE.
UNFORTUNATELY, THE RADICAL LEFT COACHES DID NOT DO ENOUGH AND PERFORMED A JANUARY 6TH INSURRECTION DURING THE PLAYOFFS AND THEY LOST IN THE PLAYOFFS. AND THEY IMPEACHED GEQBUS! VERY BAD!!
GENERAL MANAGER LETS GEQBUS WALK, STICKING WITH JJ MCCARTHY AND HIS NINE PERSONA!
