Preversion
“Where the fuck is that Asuka thing?”
Preversion is an Internet paraphilia mostly practiced by anonymous Uncyclopedia users. Preverts are known for gaining sexual gratification from seeing their mindless and spontaneous edits being reverted by legitimate Uncyclopedia users. Common tactics used by preverts include, but are not limited to: blanking pages, "Your Mom" jokes, anything related to Chuck Norris, cliche references to "hacker" or "leet" typing, or plain/outright vandalism. Some insidious preverts are more subtle, and may pull out or slip in a fact into an otherwise content-free article. Unlike furries, Goths, and Mormons, preverts are beyond redemption and the Uncyclopedia administrators require your assistance in beating off preversion.
Overview
Preversion is like smoking, alcoholism, or huffing kittens, in that it is a choice and not an inherent Human Right; hence is not protected by the Bill of Rights. As a result, Uncyclopedia administrators and users can freely discriminate against preversion and keep Uncyclopedia's articles from their filthy, diseased-ridden, grubby, two-finger-typing hands.
Just think of all those stubs and articles under construction that have yet to be fully formed, and yet to survive their first tagging with NRV. We've got to keep their innocent childish words, and the poor parentless orphans from the festering grip of preverts.
Unsure if engaged in prevertedness when inserting warm hot dogs into my rectum. Feels so mighty fine yet I would not perform the act in public. Is this little paccadillo a case of prevertedness?
Also this applies to electronic music as well such as this case of following the "ULTRA LOUNGE" Crowd that evolved from older people who once frequented raves and also club kids who got too old for faster paced life.
Their is a disturbing new trend coming about with the older crowd, and its leaking into the younger audience as well. These are the people who used to go to raves back in the day. Now they frequent these "ULTRA LOUNGES". Mostly they are stuck up people who traded in their Phat pants for khakis and jacket. As well as traded in their Candy beads, Ecstasy, and Acid; For Tennis bracelets Geritol and Viagra. They traded in their Happy Hardcore Cd's at Hastings for Minimal and Progressive House and Tech House and other slow crap, because after all over 130 Bpms is too edgy and may cause some one to start dancing and spill their expensive, overly priced cocktail on their expensive leisure suits and shorting out their Apple IPhones and I-whatever bullshit is in their IPockets. "Some one may slip and break an IHip." My god! What ever you do don't listen to Dub Step!" The Bass tones may cause cardiac arrest or cause denture fractures or other bone fractures due to osteoporosis.
These people will be called a new term after a college Professor by the name of "FRANCIS PREVE" who is some what well known for his talents in Austin Tx only and on Beat Port for synthesis and remixing. They shall be known and dubbed from this point forward as "PREVERTS"
Blank Ribbon Campaign
Please join the Uncyclopedia Blank Ribbon Campaign to persecute and destroy preverts and all those other talentless schmucks who seek to destroy all that we only care slightly about. Remember to do your part by:
- Figure out what Uncyclopedia is really about. ...it's not "Your Mom" jokes.
- Read the Beginner's Guide.
- Obey the conventions on disagreements.
- Being funny. ...or something that resembles it.
- Actively taking to the streets, pulling preverts from their homes, and punishing them in public.
- Not listening to their centralized beliefs that only they are right and everything you know is absolutely wrong.
This could lead to a dangerous condition and vast amounts of smug a type of air pollution.
Are you a pervert?
Read this:
thepenisinhermouth
Did you read "the pen is in her mouth?"
If no, then you're a pervert; you have a sick mind.
If yes, you still have a sick mind for being on Uncyclopedia.
If both, then the penis in her mouth is actually yours.
Treatment for Preversion
As there is no relief from the acute symptoms of preversion, the only method of protection is the Ban Patrol, who has to take prophylactic precautions. Some people propose that the vigorous application of Prozac with a 2x4 leads to very satisfactory results.
Also applying large amounts of Crisco over the naked body and rolling in cornflakes while receiving a hot creamed corn enema and having the Prozac application can be very helpful for more acute cases. Their also have been reports that whil applying the Prozac the 2X4 should be riddled with rusty nails and have fresh Jalapeno peppers punctured onto the rusty nails to minimize the risk of infection from the FAITH Virus.
There is currently no vaccine or cure for preversion.
Remember: If you kill preverts, soon enough they will be destroyed unless they are vampires or zombies which in this case after listening to progressive electronic music it can lead to this condition.
If you think you are suffering from a case preversion, consult a medical professional as soon as possible, before the problem gets out of hand.
See Also
- Miley Cyrus
- Female perverts
- Chikan
- Blanker
- Vandal
- Chowder
- Homosexuality
- Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying, Sit Down and Relax for a Bit, Try and Read or Something, Maybe Eat a Cheese Sandwich, and Basically Do Anything Other Than Obsessively Think About Being Obliterated in a Massive Nuclear Explosion
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