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From today's featured article
Ich Bin Ein Celebrity Juden, Get Me Out Of Here! was an early Reality TV series, broadcast in Germany from 1942 - 1945, in which a group of Jewish celebrities of the era were brought together in a camp, and filmed performing a series of tasks. They were all competing to win the popular public vote, which would allow them to leave the camp after a refreshing shower. The show's motto was Ratings Macht Frei.
The show was presented by popular minister of propaganda, Joseph Goebbels, famous for his catchphrase "it's zer vay I tell zem ... vot to believe!", and consisted of 200 famous Jewish contestants living together in a 20-man dormitory block, with their every move being recorded, and selected highlights being broadcast for public enjoyment in nightly episodes. The highlights were amusingly linked by Herr Goebbels, and every night a contestant would be selected to perform a task, the successful completion of which would allow the "roommates" certain luxuries, such as a bed free from lice (just one bed between all of them, of course - no sense giving the Jews too many luxuries), clothing, and even some stale bread and water - all very generous and desirable prizes. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that the man on the left is admiring the bare torso of the man on the right in a purely non-sexual manner? (Pictured)
- ... that applause was invented to mock the deaf?
- ... that I'd rather be a hammer than a nail?
- ... that Godot isn't coming?
- ... that being safe with guns is- *BANG*
- ... that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class?
- ... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
- ... that Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is the world's most intelligent and fastest-growing religion?
In the news
- Trump given yet another Nobel Peace Prize for ending war he started 3 hours ago (Pictured)
- Kansas City Chiefs impulsively fire Missouri as home state, moving to actual Kansas after missing playoffs
- UnNews wishes to all users a merry December Holiday
- Dick Van Dyke is 100, bitches!
- ICE spotted stealing everyone's ice cream in America
- North Sentinelese discover fire, accidentally burn down entire island
- Elon Musk: "Cancel Netflix! I don't care if Max wakes up."
- 6 or 7 buildings burn in Hong Kong
- Labour approval hits record low during Starmer premiership, PM resorts to "getting down with the youth"
- The New York Yankees now fucking suck
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI and Spaceballs 2 • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Baltimore Ravens fans shitting themselves after both their teams choked big-time • Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Venezuelans unsure whether to freak out or celebrate
Recent deaths: Doug Dimmadome • Zed's dead, baby (He was also the bad guy in The Mask) • Animal Farm • Kansas City Chiefs', Dallas Cowboys', Detroit Lions', Indianapolis Colts', Buccaneers' and Ravens' seasons • Rob Reiner • Bowen Yang's tenure on SNL • Patrick Mahomes' and his backup's ACLs • Brigitte Bardot • Carl Yastrzmski • 2025 • The MetroCard • Stranger Things • Kali • Vecna • The Upside Down • Buffalo Sabres' unexpected 10-game win streak
Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • The Pittsburgh Steelers' fucking up once again • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • The Sabres actually being good? • Ravens' kicker • Dancin' Maduro
On this day
January 7: Black Karl Marx Day
- 698 - King Arthur has a white wine with his cottage pie instead of a red, the round table become concerned.
- 1608 - The settlement of Jamestown, Virginia burns down after a careless farmer leaves the smoking tobacco too close to the firewood.
- 1954 - The first demonstration of computer speech is performed in Georgetown University by an IBM machine, it says: suck it nerds
- 1959 - The U.S. Government sends Fidel Castro fifteen crates of the finest American cigars, which only look like live sticks of dynamite.
- 1989 - In response to allegations of class reductionism, the Democratic Socialists of America release the new and improved Black Karl Marx, now 40% more intersectional. (Pictured)
- 2012 - Pope Francis excommunicates the Vatican's fancy Pope throne in favor of a lame white chair, the peasants cheer, but God cries.
- 2017 - Black Karl Marx calls one of his female colleagues honeybun, is temporarily taken out of commission.
Picture of the day
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Imagine a world in which the sum of all human knowledge is in your hand. Image credit: SunnyChow |
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