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From today's featured article 

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Donald Trump vs. Joe Biden, billed as Capitol Punishment, was an undisputed president-elect championship boxing match between Donald Trump and Joe Biden. It took place on Tuesday, November 6, 2020, on the South Lawn of the White House in Washington, D.C. The South Lawn was briefly renamed the "Presidential Lawn" for the fight. It sounds fancier.

The fight is often regarded as the biggest moment in American politics history, and arguably the most publicized sporting event of all time. It's estimated that the total viewership for this fight was 3.7 billion. It was the first time two presidents ever fought each other with their fists and not their words.

The bout was highly anticipated by many people all over the globe, including American citizens that were non-sports fans and also weren't into politics.

Biden won in ten rounds by knockout. Trump dealt with the backlash that came from getting his ass beat. The criticism and insults online caused Trump to deactivate all his accounts on social media temporarily. (Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ... that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes?
  • ... that cutting off your hands, nose, and head reduces the spread of germs by 100%?
  • ... that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?
  • ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation?
  • ... that there is a simple, easy solution to the fact that you cannot understand the foreigners who are sitting next to you?
  • ... that the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop?
  • ... that reading this section is a severe waste of time?

In the news 

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Kim Kardashian gets ready for a facial

Ongoing: Eurovision Song ContestRussian InvasionIsrael-Hamas conflictUnited States presidential election aftermathNBA and NHL seasons • Athletes doing the "Trump dance"
Recent deaths: Quincy JonesThe Most Mysterious Song on the InternetDemocrat partyTony Todd • The Dallas Cowboys' and New York Jets' seasons • Boxing
Upcoming deaths: Vladimir PutinKate Middleton • The Chicago Bears' and Cincinnati Bengals' playoff chances • Noam ChomskyGoogle as a monopoly • ColdplayJoe BidenDonald Trump

On this day 

Is it cannibalism if a couch potato eats crisps?

November 21: International Couch Potato Day

  • 1783 - Oprah and Shoobily Boobily ze French Guy had the first untethered hot balls flight.
  • 1847 - The Great Irish Potato Famine reduces the number of Couch Potatoes in Scotland and Ireland by 25%. Tragically, this results in a global Deep-fried Mars Bar recession.
  • 1877 - Thomas Edison announced his invention of the pornograph.
  • 1963 - Lee Harvey Oswald gets laid for the last time.
  • 1996 - Couch Potato Day is established to encourage nations to collectively sit on their asses watching pointless programs at the same time. Scheduled programs for this day included 100 Ways to Watch Paint Dry, and 20 Things You Didn't Know About Carpet.

Picture of the day

The Truman Torch
August 6, 1945: After being given superpowers by the Manhattan Project, Harry S. Truman, the Truman Torch, personally drops the atomic bomb on Hiroshima, Japan, signalling the beginning of the end of World War II.

Truman's flight was the culmination of the Manhattan Project, a sustained secret project by the United States military to develop superpowers in order to resurrect the American Justice Coalition. Because superhero technology was so valuable, the project was disguised as an effort to create a nuclear bomb, a deception that was so complete that the nuclear bomb was also developed. Subsequently, all American presidents have been endowed with superpowers and occasionally fight together as the New American Justice Coalition.
Image credit: Isra1337
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