Forum:Last person to edit wins absolutely nothing!

Forums: Index > BHOP > Last person to edit wins/Archive34

Alula HAS HAXXED THE SYSTIM

The answer

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  Caption5 - see, I can count!

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  Caption8 - no you can't
  (I can)

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  Caption moccasins

Archive 1 Archive 2 Archive 3 Archive 4 Archive 5 Archive 6 Archive 7 Archive 8 Archive 9 Archive 10 Archive 11 Archive 12 Archive 13 Archive 14 Archive 15 Archive 16 Archive 17 Archive 18 Archive 19 Archive 20 Archive 21 Archive 22 Archive 23 Archive 24 Archive 25 Archive 26 Archive 27 Archive 28 Archive 29 Archive 30 Archive 31 Archive 32 Archive 33 Archive 34

Oh crap!

Alula ate the forum once again! DaniPine3 (talk) 19:48, 9 December 2024 (UTC)

Sorry, i don't "eat" forums. I move their contents somewhere else and lock them away in a glass casing. 19:50, 9 December 2024 (UTC)

sure, sure; whatever you say, alula.. or should I say... story-eating cat???!?!? DaniPine3 (talk) 19:54, 9 December 2024 (UTC)

AAAAAAAAA! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! I Töᔑᔑ ‘ ᗴᙏ (moccasins.)

Pichu Brown9622, the 9622nd version of brown (talk) (articles) (contribs) · 21:18, 9 December 2024 (UTC)

I prefer charmander. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 21:23, 9 December 2024 (UTC)

Bulbasaur > Charmander 21:32, 9 December 2024 (UTC)

But Squirtle > Bulbasaur > Charmander > uhhh…. Pichu I Töᔑᔑ ‘ ᗴᙏ (KEKEKEKE)

Magikarp is clearly the best one (I've never played Pokémon in my life) DaniPine3 (talk) 22:06, 9 December 2024 (UTC)

Fenris2010 > Squirtle > Bulbosaur > Charmander > Picu. Yes, people. I have been lying to you this entire time. I am secretly a Pokemon.  Ferris Wheel Terry the Ten the moccasin-bearing brew ^{True beer cowering...}

I mean, grues are pretty much a pokémon, at least according to this handy Pokémon guide. DaniPine3 (talk) 23:19, 9 December 2024 (UTC)

@OPOSSUM: i agree squirtle best starter Brown9622, the 9622nd version of brown (talk) (articles) (contribs) · 23:47, 9 December 2024 (UTC)

There's more than three starters though. 00:20, 10 December 2024 (UTC)

even with all the other starters from all the other generations, including let's go, squirtle still best starter Brown9622, the 9622nd version of brown (talk) (articles) (contribs) · 14:22, 10 December 2024 (UTC)

I personally disagree (which is only somewhat caused by Eevee counting as a starter here, which makes things a little unfair), but if it's your favorite then that's cool, or something like that. 00:40, 11 December 2024 (UTC)

y'all'dve'ly'stn't

new ungame just dropped Brown9622, the 9622nd version of brown (talk) (articles) (contribs) · 23:48, 9 December 2024 (UTC)

ok Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 23:54, 9 December 2024 (UTC)

Nice.  Fenris2010 the moccasin-wearing Grue ^{You hear growling... • Join the Empire!} 02:15, 10 December 2024 (UTC)

just need 4 more users then we can begin :D Brown9622, the 9622nd version of brown (talk) (articles) (contribs) · 14:25, 10 December 2024 (UTC)

Some of my favorite music (this isn't like the one I did previously)

 Fenris2010 the moccasin-wearing Grue ^{You hear growling... • Join the Empire!} 02:17, 10 December 2024 (UTC)

 Fenris2010 the moccasin-wearing Grue ^{You hear growling... • Join the Empire!} 03:38, 10 December 2024 (UTC)

I love... the first one. My favorites:

– Preceding signed comment added by Squaw Dee (owns uncyclopedia • talk • contribs)

I like all of them. Thanks for sharing them.  Fenris2010 the moccasin-wearing Grue ^{You hear growling... • Join the Empire!} 04:17, 10 December 2024 (UTC)

 Fenris2010 the moccasin-wearing Grue ^{You hear growling... • Join the Empire!} 05:24, 10 December 2024 (UTC)

I have made another UnGame!

I just finished making my UnGame called Arena. I need some players. Could some people please join?  Fenris2010 the moccasin-wearing Grue ^{You hear growling... • Join the Empire!} 06:33, 11 December 2024 (UTC)

:3 Brown9622, the 9622nd version of brown (talk) (articles) (contribs) · 16:21, 12 December 2024 (UTC)

:B Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 16:24, 12 December 2024 (UTC)

---

NO!!! I DIDN'T WIN!! I own so much to those Las Vegas dwarfs! FUCK! Somebetterusername (talk) 17:22, 11 December 2024 (UTC)

@Somebetterusername: please don't add at the top, only at the bottom... DaniPine3 (talk) 17:30, 11 December 2024 (UTC)

What the heck is going on? Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 18:28, 11 December 2024 (UTC)

Have any of you heard of the famous website, "You're the Man Now, Dog!"?

Well, I have a link for you: moccasins.ytmnd.com

Also, YTMND links are apparently blocked by the spam filter. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 22:29, 11 December 2024 (UTC)

You're about like twenty years too late but it is a cool page. moccasins moccasins moccasins Somebetterusername (talk) 07:12, 12 December 2024 (UTC)

YTMND may be a fucking fossil but it’s time to moccasins moccasins moccasins. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 15:01, 12 December 2024 (UTC)

Join the Proto-Finnic troops today!

Put this template on your userpage and join the Hyperwar! ||{{ProtoFinnicUser}}

|

Hail the Proto-Finnic Holy Roman Khaganate I own a war mammoth. Perkele! (List of Proto-Finnic Uncyclopedians)

|What links here | |-

Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 19:14, 12 December 2024 (UTC)

DO IT jackson • 🅱️😂👌 • 🫲🗿🍷 • 19:17, 12 December 2024 (UTC)

@Jackson: KIIT'OS PALJON, MEIDEN TÄÜTÜ MENDÄK SODAHËN (bad Proto-Finnic for "many thanks, we must go to war") Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 19:27, 12 December 2024 (UTC)

hell????????????????? Brown9622, the 9622nd version of brown (talk) (articles) (contribs) · 19:32, 12 December 2024 (UTC)

sulla ei ole aika kohta miettimään, ja meillä ei ole aika kohta puhumaan, jonoon!!!!! (More broken Finnish, except this time it’s modern Finnish) Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 19:40, 12 December 2024 (UTC)

I don't know how you guys do it, but you always manage to make this forum page look even more bat fuck insane than it was before. And most of the time is thanks to OPOSSUM's neverending but fuck insanity. You guys are going to make me bat fuck insane too... DaniPine3 (talk) 21:05, 12 December 2024 (UTC)

@DaniPine3: At least it’s just a background this time, not Eldritch Zone or Moccaspin… Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 21:22, 12 December 2024 (UTC)

@OPOSSUM: please, don't remember me of Eldritch Zone... anything but that... DaniPine3 (talk) 21:25, 12 December 2024 (UTC)

wasn't that war ended many thousands of years ago? 01:35, 13 December 2024 (UTC)

I sure do have some news for you. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 02:55, 13 December 2024 (UTC)

And what are these so-called "news" you have for me? 23:25, 13 December 2024 (UTC)

The war against the Hwan Empire shall not end as long as people are getting turned into Hanguk-Teols! We must end this, at least Olula Disease has a known cure. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 01:17, 14 December 2024 (UTC)

GIZA AUTISM ARRAY NEVER FORGET Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 01:17, 14 December 2024 (UTC)

centee

@OPOSSUM: why is it that this suspiciously Pedobear-looking character is being used as a symbol of someone who's extremely Finnish? and why does it look like the freakin' Pedobear? DaniPine3 (talk) 10:03, 14 December 2024 (UTC)

@DaniPine3: [1] uhh… Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 14:13, 14 December 2024 (UTC)

@OPOSSUM: who would have thought, it looks like the freakin' Pedobear because it IS like the freakin' Pedobear... DaniPine3 (talk) 14:41, 14 December 2024 (UTC)

What to look forward to in 2025

The Onion said it best, "So as we close this long chapter of uncertainty and dread and immediately open another much longer chapter of uncertainty and dread, I hope you will all follow along." I hope they make toasters with times on them now, maybe hoverboards too Somebetterusername (talk) 17:07, 14 December 2024 (UTC)

I hope I can finally find a job Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 18:32, 14 December 2024 (UTC)

@OPOSSUM: you probably can! just believe in yourself! and even if you can't, just remember that you are valid and you will always be supported by your loved ones (and the people here on Uncyclopedia, we will support you too) :] DaniPine3 (talk) 23:24, 14 December 2024 (UTC)

valid? a valid suspect for who stole the cheezits from your pantry, that is. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 05:34, 15 December 2024 (UTC)

Don't worry, editing Uncyclopedia is a well-paid job already. 23:46, 14 December 2024 (UTC)

@alula: is it? then how is it that I haven't got a miserable penny since I joined here, huh??? I demand my hard-earned pay that I rightfully earned by sitting my ass all day and not doing anything of actual value!!! DaniPine3 (talk) 00:08, 15 December 2024 (UTC)

I don't know, i'm not in charge of the financial system here. 01:03, 15 December 2024 (UTC)

@alula: then who is it, huh??? I've got to get mah ca$h!!!! >:[ DaniPine3 (talk) 01:37, 15 December 2024 (UTC)

You know too much 💥 🔫 Somebetterusername (talk) 04:31, 15 December 2024 (UTC)

I honestly don't know. All my payments are registered as coming from "hidden user". 11:16, 15 December 2024 (UTC)

BRO THOUGHT HE WON FOR A SECOND LOL

I just exploded your boat Somebetterusername (talk) 15:18, 17 December 2024 (UTC)

a– Preceding signed comment added by Squaw Dee (owns uncyclopedia • talk • contribs) 

A H O ᑭᗅᔑᔑ ᔑöᙏᗴ (KEKEKEKE)

j 20:16, 17 December 2024 (UTC)

k DaniPine3 (talk) 20:26, 17 December 2024 (UTC)

f 20:33, 17 December 2024 (UTC)

u DaniPine3 (talk) 20:44, 17 December 2024 (UTC)

c– Preceding signed comment added by Squaw Dee (owns uncyclopedia • talk • contribs)

hsia Oᖺ ᑭᗅᙀᔑIᑎᕤ (Complain about my warcrimes)

you ruined it >:[ DaniPine3 (talk) 22:05, 17 December 2024 (UTC)

On that note, UGotY voting is open! Feel free to cast your vote for useless gobshite this year! – Preceding signed comment added by Squaw Dee (owns uncyclopedia • talk • contribs)

Squaw Dee… I already voted for you, bucko. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 23:20, 17 December 2024 (UTC)

wtf where did the glorious Proto-Finnic Holy Roman Khaganate go DaniPine3 (talk) 11:50, 18 December 2024 (UTC)

Turned into snow 17:10, 18 December 2024 (UTC)

noooooooooooo nto my precious Proto-Finnic Holy Roman Khaganate :,[ DaniPine3 (talk) 17:21, 18 December 2024 (UTC)

Don't worry, the snow is at least still Proto-Finnic 18:13, 18 December 2024 (UTC)

“Rule nombre uno.”

~ Biggie Smalls

“Rule numero dos: no converting my ice age metropolis and war mammoths into Daniel propaganda.”

~ Smallie Bigs

“Regel nummer 1: alle regler må skrives på norsk bokmål”

~ Oskar Villmann

“Regel nummer 2: idk I've never learnt how to speak Norwegian.”

~ Oskar "whoever that guy is" Villmann

“Regel nummer 3: blasfemi”

~ The Villmann in question

“Regel nummer 4:ok I can understand that”

~ I had a suspicion who Villmann was, and it seems I was on the right foot...

“Regel nummer 6: det finnes ikke noen regel nummer 5. Hvis du prøver å lage en så kaster vi deg ut i sjøen”

~ Storebror

“Regel nummer 7: jaja estoy hablando en español y no puedes hacer nada para evitarlo >:]”

~ Óscar Salvaje

“rule”

~ Oscar Wilde

“rul”

~ Oscar Wilde

“Rule numero tres: I took the woooooooooooooooooooooooooock' to poland”

~ Lil Yachty

“Rule numero cuatro: what”

~ Oskar Villmann

“These rules are complete bullshit”

~ Emmanuel Goldstein

“Sure, sure... say, why don't you come to this relaxing place to ease your pains? no, it isn't written the word "gulag" in bold letters at the entrance, you're just imagining things...”

~ Big Brother

“Everybody wants to rule the world...”

~ Tears for Fears

“Nah, i'm too busy getting yelled at by your people every day to do that.”

~ Emmanuel Goldstein

“hey we don't yell we sing... don't be mean :,(”

~ Tears for Fears

“And what exactly are you singing about? How horrible i am? Get a life, people. Especially you, "Big Brother".”

~ Emmanuel Goldstein

“I already have a life; in fact, it'll be you who will stop having one if you keep preaching this propaganda against our dictatorship great cause...”

~ Big Brother

“The person who posts below me is gay”

~ Edgar Allan Poe

“You're totally right”

~ Oscar Wilde

“The person who posted above me is a pedophile”

~ Edgar Allan Poe

“No I am not! I already got jailed for engaging in sodomy, and now you want me to get jailed for engaging in that kind of thing as well? Screw off...”

~ Oscar Wilde

“Who the hell is "Oscar Wilde"?”

~ Anonymous

“A pedophile”

~ Anonymous #2

“Who the hell are "Anonymous" and "Anonymous #2"”

~ Oscar Wilde

“Rule numero cinco: New York Jets did 9/11”

~ Alex Jones

“Hey, don't avoid my question! And stop caling me a pedo, because I'm not!”

~ Oscar Wilde

“a”

~ Not Oscar Wilde

new section

15:39, 19 December 2024 (UTC)

newer section

DaniPine3 (talk) 15:55, 19 December 2024 (UTC)

even newer section

16:25, 19 December 2024 (UTC)

way even newer section

DaniPine3 (talk) 18:21, 19 December 2024 (UTC)

the newest section of them all

Also, I saw Flatrat.jpg again Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 18:34, 19 December 2024 (UTC)

the newest newer section of them all

the hell is flatrat.jpg? DaniPine3 (talk) 18:37, 19 December 2024 (UTC)

the definitely 100% newest section to ever exist

i think that's the dissected rat 18:39, 19 December 2024 (UTC)

The above information is outdated

That ain’t no rat I’ve ever seen Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 18:40, 19 December 2024 (UTC)

oh ok then 19:29, 19 December 2024 (UTC)

“Alright, I've lied all this time. I am a pedophile. I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE touching children. Sorry for trying to deny it.”

~ Definitely Oscar Wilde

“Life is like a little boy: everything’s better if you really stick a part of yourself into it.”

~ Oscar Wilde

“Ok, who's writing this under my name? I know people love making up Oscar Wilde quotes, but this is a new low. Whoever it is, please stop doing it, because I sure as hell don't want to end up on jail again...”

~ Real Oscar Wilde

“It is me, the nefarious forum editor!”

~ Alula

“It is me, the lord of all that is Bat Fuck Insane!”

~ OPOSSUM

“And who's this "OPOSSUM" guy?”

~ Oscar Wilde

“IDK. But he's a bit too crazy for me.”

~ ——————

“——————”

~ Oh dear, i seem to have swapped places with the words i was gonna say.

“Oscar Wilde”

~ It happens to the best of us.

“oh fuck”

~ my name seems to have disappeared

“Pikachu”

~ Pikachu

“Pichu”

~ Pichu

“Fuck no!”

~ Raichu

“Wow! A talking Pokémon!”

~ Meowth

“———————”

~ I’m still swapped with the words I was going to say!

“Oscar Wilde”

~ Yeah, how do we fix this?!

“———————”

~ Do I look as if I know the answer? If I had known, this wouldn't be happening in the first place!

“OPOSSUM”

~ I made my own commons.css skin for Uncyclopedia. Now everything is icy.

“alula”

~ awesome. i hope it's not as slippery as the ground is right now

“Brown9622, the 9622nd version of brown (talk) (articles) (contribs) · 14:34, 21 December 2024 (UTC)”

~ did someone say uncyclopedia

“Hodor”

~ Hodor

“Oscar Wilde”

~ This forum is getting a bit crowded, don't you guys think?

Important things to know about my trip to Texas

My little adopted cousin (let's call him Seb) asked my dad if he played Nintendo Switch games… with me… when he was a kid. Seb is eight years old. EIGHT. My dad was born in 1964 and his friend owned a pong console. Besides, why would I even be alive when my dad was as little as Seb?

Like I said, Seb is eight years old. That’s not that old, but still, what the heck? At least Seb doesn't watch brain rot or anything, as far as I know.

P.S. I just drank a bunch of sweet tea thinking it was Arnold Palmer. No wonder it tasted like tomato juice. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 15:59, 21 December 2024 (UTC)

@OPOSSUM: I didn't know your cousin was adopted. It must be really hard for your aunt and uncle to know some day they'll have to reveal him the truth... Also, I'm happy to hear that your cousin is safe from brainrot; let's hope you can keep his brain (and soul) safe. DaniPine3 (talk) 16:08, 21 December 2024 (UTC)

Don't worry, the brainrot will find him eventually. 16:39, 21 December 2024 (UTC)

Sophia sighting

I'm watching the TV and there's this movie about WW2 which apparently stars Sophia Lauren on it. I have been graced by the great Sophia with her appearance on my TV. I am now blessed by the holy goddess of Uncyclopedia. And my TV is now a hoky relic because of it. DaniPine3 (talk) 00:14, 22 December 2024 (UTC)

aren't all tv's relics by now? Somebetterusername (talk) 05:41, 22 December 2024 (UTC)

not really. sure, people have switched from TV channels to streaming services, but they still use TVs to watch it. only idiots prefer a really small screen like a phone or a tablet over a big screen where you can see your favorite series on 4KHD. DaniPine3 (talk) 12:50, 22 December 2024 (UTC)

I think somebetterusername might be living in some sort of post-apocalyptic future Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 14:16, 22 December 2024 (UTC)

a post-apolyptic future where everyone has been consumed by the brainrot... DaniPine3 (talk) 14:32, 22 December 2024 (UTC)

A post-apocalyptic future where the constant stream of ads on every streaming service is occasionally broken by five minutes of the show you're watching 14:45, 22 December 2024 (UTC)

that was pretty much how TV channels were like, so it wouldn't be much of a difference after all. to quote David Byrne, "same as it ever was". DaniPine3 (talk) 15:20, 22 December 2024 (UTC)

Pretty sure it's the opposite. A constant stream of awful TV shows interrupted by five minutes of ads that are somehow better than the shows. 16:07, 22 December 2024 (UTC)

alula I don't know how your TV channels might be on Norway, but here where I live (Spain) more often than not TV channels bombard you with annoying commercials and it feels like you're getting more ads than actual shows. so it seems I'll be more accustomed to the forecoming grimdark dystopian brainrot future... DaniPine3 (talk) 18:26, 22 December 2024 (UTC)

Oh, i forgot to mention that i was talking about one specific channel that won't stop playing The Big Bang Theory constantly. I don't usually watch TV, i just remember that channel specifically because of how many times we had to see that show. I'm pretty sure the state-owned ones are way better (partly because they don't play commercials at all, but maybe also because they have way better production value. Or something. I don't work there so i'm not sure of the exact reason). 21:55, 22 December 2024 (UTC)

@alula: "one specific channel that won't stop playing The Big Bang Theory constantly" well, I'm glad to say that we don't have that kind of thing here (that TV channel, not the TV show; we do have The Big Bang Theory on Spain, and for some reason they translated "bazinga" into "zas en toda la boca [in your face]" for sone stupid reason). I'm sad to hear that you had to sit through that show for do long; no person should have to hear the word "bazinga" that many times in a row. DaniPine3 (talk) 01:58, 23 December 2024 (UTC)

hey i'm not brainrotted, y-y-you are Somebetterusername (talk) 09:28, 23 December 2024 (UTC)

I don't know what this has to do with the conversation 14:29, 23 December 2024 (UTC)

@alula: I guess it's because we previously suggested that somebetterusername is living in a dystopian future where everyone is consumed by the brainrot, to which somebetterusername responded that's not true. although this response is quite suspicious, if you ask me. "sussy", as a person that has been subjected to brainrot would say. DaniPine3 (talk) 15:04, 23 December 2024 (UTC)

ඞ 15:45, 23 December 2024 (UTC)

when did we say that anything has to fit into a conversation??? Somebetterusername (talk) 19:44, 23 December 2024 (UTC)

“Fuck Biggie Smalls' fat ass”

~ 2pac

I said it 5 hours and 21 minutes ago 19:50, 23 December 2024 (UTC)

OOGLY BOOGLY

SUSSY AMONGUSSY Oᖺ ᑭᗅᙀᔑIᑎᕤ (Complain about my warcrimes)

duh

went to Encyclopaedia Dramatica and wow, it is a bunch of unintelligent xenophobic 12-year old edgelords, only thing going for them is that they're more active than us (they already have a Bluesky article and other recent stuff). Somebetterusername (talk) 03:10, 25 December 2024 (UTC)

@Somebetterusername: they're from 4chan. I think there's nothing else that could have been expected from that kind of people. DaniPine3 (talk) 03:15, 25 December 2024 (UTC)

@DaniPine3: true but 4chan has /mu/ which led to at least great music being heard (artists like Death Grips, genres like vaporwave, IDM). Encyclopaedia Dramatica does not have that, therefore it sucks. Actually, it's probably just more /pol/. I don't even know how those 4channibal corpses even survive since I've never been in 4chan and it hasn't been relevant since 2016 probably. Somebetterusername (talk) 03:34, 25 December 2024 (UTC)

@Somebetterusername: I mean, sadly that part of 4chan will always be relevant as long as there are neo-nazis polluting the Internet with their incredibly stupid and poisonous ideology. but it thankfully can be avoidable by not entering on any pointless discourse on the Internet, and having a healthy habit of touching grass, which is the best medicine against being clinically online. DaniPine3 (talk) 04:08, 25 December 2024 (UTC)

I visited /b/ a few years ago, it was like 90% nudity and porno Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 05:23, 25 December 2024 (UTC)

Merry Christmas!

05:06, 25 December 2024 (UTC)

Not quite for me… Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 05:21, 25 December 2024 (UTC)

🎵 jingle bells batman smells robin laid an egg 🎵 Somebetterusername (talk) 08:42, 27 December 2024 (UTC)

I never remember what comes next. L10nM4st3r ^{ROAR at me!} / _{What my paws scratched} 09:08, 27 December 2024 (UTC)

The Batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker got away... Fenris2010 the holiday-loving Grue ^{Merry Christmas!} 18:02, 27 December 2024 (UTC)

that's a cool Christmas-themed signature you got there, perhaps I could try doing myself one too...
also, 🎵 jingle bells batman smells robin stabbed his leg 🎵 DaniPine3 (talk) 18:30, 27 December 2024 (UTC)

hey look guys at my cool new signature

also Merry Late Christmas to you guys DaniPine3 (talk) 18:49, 27 December 2024 (UTC)

eh the trees are too big, I guess I'll be using emojis instead 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 18:51, 27 December 2024 (UTC)

👍 Fenris2010 the holiday-loving Grue ^{Merry Christmas!} 19:30, 27 December 2024 (UTC)

I'm pretty sure christmas is over now. 20:49, 27 December 2024 (UTC)

Unless you're a Christian (like me), in which case it ends on January 5th.  Fenris2010 the moccasin-wearing Grue ^{You hear growling... • Join the Empire!} 20:54, 27 December 2024 (UTC)

I'm pretty sure that not just a thing for Christians... 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 20:59, 27 December 2024 (UTC)

Lazy. L10nM4st3r ^{ROAR at me!} / _{What my paws scratched} 21:53, 27 December 2024 (UTC)

Lazy 2. 01:11, 28 December 2024 (UTC)

Lazy 3. 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 01:19, 28 December 2024 (UTC)

gen beta's gonna start arrivin'

link gen alpha's also gonna turn 13 and will now be legally allowed to go onto like 25% of all websites. i don't wanna say we're "screwed" because these guys aren't that stupid, but damn it i feel old Somebetterusername (talk) 08:07, 28 December 2024 (UTC)

I doubt that many gen alpha will come considering this website is kinda niche, and it's filled with late 2000's and early 2010's humor that they will most likely not understand. 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 10:49, 28 December 2024 (UTC)

“I love dropkicking babies”

~ Definitely Oscar Wilde

“I love dropkicking Oscar Wildes”

~ Some baby

“Ouch! Why would you do that?”

~ Oscar Wilde on being dropkicked by some baby

“Revenge”

~ The baby

“Yo! Someone said somethin' about babies?”

~ P. Diddy

“Screw off, problematic celebutard... If it wasn't for the controversy, most people wouldn't even remember who you are...”

~ Oscar Wilde

“Look here cracker! You couldn't even imagine how big I was back when Biggie died, which for the record, I didn't kill! No one even knows who YOU are besides a few quotes.”

~ P. Diddy

“Surely, you were big. Where did that let you? Now you'll be forever be remembered solely as the Kiddy Diddler and that guy that had orguies with baby oil; whereas my legacy is much more impactful and I shall always be remembered by my wise words...”

~ Oscar Wilde

“It's actually orgies”

~ Grammar Nazi

“Shoot, don't tell me I, the great Oscar Wilde, remembered for its distinguished literature, have made the atrocious sin of writing a typo...”

~ Oscar Wilde

don't let this distract you from the fact that I predicted the death of Jimmy Carter 26 days in advance also, RIP Somebetterusername (talk) 21:44, 29 December 2024 (UTC)

Greentext time

18932891304.gif-(26 KB, 460x640, ApustajaShitsPants.gif)

Anonymous 12/31/24(Tue)04:47:31 No.279293084

>be me

>go on service camping trip to Alaska

>actually make some pretty good friends there

>after five days, we get a break from clearing hiking trails and stuff

>two more days pass

>by now I haven't crapped in four days somehow

>shit seems to harden inside of my digestive tract

>I'm not sure if that's actually how it works, but I end up being really constipated

>get jolts of pain when I don't shit, also hurts when I try to shit, I can’t get anything out

>since we’re done clearing the trails, we have a kayaking trip scheduled for tomorrow

>I really want to go, but am really worried about my constipation

>councilors advise me to eat a whole bunch of prunes and laxatives

>I eat multiple bags of prunes, laxatives apparently won’t take effect until 24 hours later

>get another idea

>go to porta potty

>manually reach into my asshole and remove shit with my fingers

>clear my ass, wipe my fingers of course

>tell only a few people about it, get called a trooper

>think I’ve won

>next day, we’re heading off to the kayak rental place

>get there

>start to feel the shit harden in my ass again

>fuck

>end up not going on the kayaking trip, stay in a small-ass town with one of the councilors

>we get along together

>eat another fuck ton of prunes

>have nice dinner at a restaurant, get a salmon burger because Alaska

>the councilor I’m staying with is good friends with a guy from another kayak rental center (which is associated with the first one), so we spend the night in his little building

>we chill in there for a while

>laxatives kick in

>have to shit really badly

>trot weirdly to the nearest public bathroom, which luckily isn’t too far

>it’s really rainy outside, it’s been that way the whole trip

>I can’t actually run because I’d spill the shit

>stop in the road to force the shit back into my asshole (with my buttcheeks of course)

>shitsunami comes out while I’m only halfway to the bathroom, luckily none reaches my shoes

>rush to the bathroom

>shit rolling down my legs

>wipe as much of it off my legs as I can once I get to the bathroom, use entire roll of toilet paper

>still covered in shit

>tell councilor about it

>we laugh about it, although we’re still disgusted and horrified

>go over to the public shower building

>shower only lasts seven minutes, still have to pay

>put my pants and underwear in the shower as well

>come out of the shower with new pants and underwear

>be very careful to wipe away every last atom of shit away with the paper towels

>spray whole shower room and nearby area with odor remover to hide the scent

>stuff my underwear and pants in the bathroom trash can

>tell councilor, go to take the crapped underwear and pants out of the bin, put them in a black trash bag and throw bag in a dumpster

>go back to the kayak rental place

>have the best sleep I’ve had in my whole life

>wake up, sun streaming into my eyes, sky is unusually clear, rain has stopped

Thank you kayak rental guy.

Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 04:47, 31 December 2024 (UTC)

relatable Somebetterusername (talk) 19:56, 31 December 2024 (UTC)

really? Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 06:27, 1 January 2025 (UTC)

It's 2025

This thread is now approximately 16.5 years old.

C'mon!

Soon enough it'll be able to get drunk just like us all (well, most of us. I assume.).  Cassandra  (talk) 07:39, 1 January 2025 (UTC)

I tend to sometimes act drunk despite not knowing what alcohol tastes like. L10nM4st3r ^{ROAR at me!} / _{What my paws scratched} 08:02, 1 January 2025 (UTC)

joinsoiesjokvmewkemkevoaeicjjanoejenoajvmeokm Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 15:01, 1 January 2025 (UTC)

It's 1966

Dani, what are you even thinking? Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 18:23, 1 January 2025 (UTC)

LaziBum3 being too lazy to check the revision history and puts in the wrong year from the title. L10nM4st3r ^{ROAR at me!} / _{What my paws scratched} 18:28, 1 January 2025 (UTC)

LazyPOSSUM would fix this if he could, except for how lazy he is. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 18:31, 1 January 2025 (UTC)

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

– Preceding unsigned comment added by somebetterusername (talk • contribs)

Please LaziBum3, stop changing my victory. L10nM4st3r ^{ROAR at me!} / _{What my paws scratched} 09:28, 2 January 2025 (UTC)

no 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 10:34, 2 January 2025 (UTC)

isfgnfskngadgniagal;sdmgk;lsnbkvlbnd;nnfs;kgnakpbn;sknmtlhmad;gnadbihadb;fdsmkbd;tn Somebetterusername (talk) 13:04, 2 January 2025 (UTC)

I am the winner!!! L10nM4st3r ^{ROAR at me!} / _{What my paws scratched} 19:13, 2 January 2025 (UTC)

hiya

Brown9622, the 9622nd version of brown (talk) (articles) (contribs) · 20:00, 2 January 2025 (UTC)

Why that username? L10nM4st3r ^{ROAR at me!} / _{What my paws scratched} 00:05, 3 January 2025 (UTC)

Because he got sick of his old username (WVandZM.) Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 00:10, 3 January 2025 (UTC)

Was reffering to the numbers at the end. Why that specific number? L10nM4st3r ^{ROAR at me!} / _{What my paws scratched} 00:36, 3 January 2025 (UTC)

howya?

Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 20:07, 2 January 2025 (UTC)

MY NAME'S BLURRY FACE AND I'M NOT I CARE WHAT YOU THINK

Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 01:33, 3 January 2025 (UTC)

hi Blurry Face, nice to meet you 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 01:48, 3 January 2025 (UTC)

MY NAME'S BLURRY FACE AND I CARE WHAT YOU THINK Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 01:56, 3 January 2025 (UTC)

yo this the guy who made song 2 Somebetterusername (talk) 01:57, 3 January 2025 (UTC)

WISH WE COULD TURN BACK TIME (time) Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 01:59, 3 January 2025 (UTC)

to the good good daaaaays 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 02:07, 3 January 2025 (UTC)

WHEN THE MAMAS SAAANG Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 02:07, 3 January 2025 (UTC)

Thoughts

Thoughts? WohMi Speaketh Here! 07:03, 3 January 2025 (UTC)

You got any food? I could eat 500.6 chicken sandwiches. L10nM4st3r ^{ROAR at me!} / _{What my paws scratched} 07:06, 3 January 2025 (UTC)

I have 500.6 dead bodies I keep for my cannibalistic desires. Don't ask where the .6 came from. Drew like a dark, fucked up version of the hamburger helper mascot haha. Just a glimpse into my dark reality. A full stare into my twisted perspective would make most simply go insane lmao Somebetterusername (talk) 19:22, 3 January 2025 (UTC)

I'd take 500.6 human-sized chicken-sandwitches. If you get the reference, you're one of the coolest people here. L10nM4st3r ^{ROAR at me!} / _{What my paws scratched} 19:35, 3 January 2025 (UTC)

I'd take two number 9's, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45's, one with cheese and a large soda any day. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 20:22, 3 January 2025 (UTC)

(Not the reference I was referring to) lol L10nM4st3r ^{ROAR at me!} / _{What my paws scratched} 20:26, 3 January 2025 (UTC)

I know but I thought it would be relevant lol Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 21:33, 3 January 2025 (UTC)

i'm lovin it Somebetterusername (talk) 21:51, 3 January 2025 (UTC)

I’m going to do it

Let’s make Fenris Uncyclopedian of the Year! Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 21:55, 3 January 2025 (UTC)

>:)  Fenris2010 the moccasin-wearing Grue ^{You hear growling... • Join the Empire!} 21:22, 4 January 2025 (UTC)

forbidden SHITE

his PIKACHU thrown Y Bad Motherfucker GET FUCKED! 15:07, 4 January 2025 (UTC)

her SPRINKLES litigated Alula L10nM4st3r ^{ROAR at me!} / _{What my paws scratched} 17:29, 4 January 2025 (UTC)

his SMILE and OPTIMISM: GONE Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 17:44, 4 January 2025 (UTC)

his RAINBOWS deconstructed your mom 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 18:10, 4 January 2025 (UTC)

his HAPPINESS constructed you L10nM4st3r ^{ROAR at me!} / _{What my paws scratched} 19:35, 4 January 2025 (UTC)

her PEACEFUL christened <insert name here>  Fenris2010 the pie-moving pie ^{HaxorMan sanctify moving...} 21:25, 4 January 2025 (UTC)

her SUGAR broken Fenris2010 L10nM4st3r ^{ROAR at me!} / _{What my paws scratched} 21:27, 4 January 2025 (UTC)

their HEAVEN earned Me  Fenris2010 the pie-moving pie ^{HaxorMan sanctify moving...} 21:33, 4 January 2025 (UTC)

her SWIMMING POOL navigated L10nM4st3r 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 21:48, 4 January 2025 (UTC)

his LUV cured Nobody L10nM4st3r ^{ROAR at me!} / _{What my paws scratched} 21:54, 4 January 2025 (UTC)

her SMILES modeled Simsilikesims 10:55, 5 January 2025 (UTC)

her ROSES washed alula 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 13:42, 5 January 2025 (UTC)

his UNICORNS gagged him  Fenris2010 the moccasin-wearing Grue ^{You hear growling... • Join the Empire!} 14:56, 5 January 2025 (UTC)

her LUV suffocated her 23:38, 5 January 2025 (UTC)

her UNICORNS thrown them 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 00:03, 6 January 2025 (UTC)

his JELLY BEANS awoke Aipom's titL10nM4st3r ^{ROAR at me!} / _{What my paws scratched} 00:08, 6 January 2025 (UTC)

her JOY earned Willy on wheels's tit 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 00:19, 6 January 2025 (UTC)

Mario the Idea vs Mario the Man

Everyone knows Mario is cool as heck. But who knows what he's thinking? Who knows why he crushes turtles? And why do we think about him as fondly as we think of the mythical (nonexistent?) Dr Pepper? Perchance.

I believe it was Kant who said "Experience without theory is blind, but theory without experience is mere intellectual play." Mario exhibits experience by crushing turts all day, but he exhibits theory by stating "Let's-a go". Keep it up, baby!

When Mario leaves his place of safety to stomp a turty, he knows that he may Die. And yet, for a man who can purchase lives with money, a life becomes a mere store of value. A tax that can be paid for, much as a rich man feels any law with a fine is a price. We think of Mario as a hero, but he is simply a one percenter of a more privileged variety. The lifekind. Perchance. – Preceding unsigned comment added by EDTYUSDHEDJFIF (talk • contribs)

Isn’t the entire mushroom kingdom just a hallucination that Mario had from all his shrooms? Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 19:57, 5 January 2025 (UTC)

Nintendo reached a MASSIVE level of popularity with Mario. It seems that he never gets a LOW-rated game. I can't think of any time Mario TAPERed in popularity. It's safe to say that the red plumber will never FADE. Somebetterusername (talk) 03:08, 6 January 2025 (UTC)

Speaking of Nintendo and Mario, my smash bros custom stage (Garfield T Pose) now has 1000 likes, somehow. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 03:09, 6 January 2025 (UTC)

The ID is 6WKFRSGQ Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 03:11, 6 January 2025 (UTC)

Let's do it!

I'm gonna make OPOSSUM Useless Gobshite of the Year! – Preceding signed comment added by Squaw Dee (owns uncyclopedia • talk • contribs) 17:52, 6 January 2025 (UTC)

@Squaw Dee: Not unless I make you it first! Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 18:31, 6 January 2025 (UTC)

hey i was pretty useless this year Somebetterusername (talk) 23:58, 6 January 2025 (UTC)

Not useless enough, unfortunately. 00:10, 7 January 2025 (UTC)

so.. I.. I was useful after all? 😀 Somebetterusername (talk) 00:44, 7 January 2025 (UTC)

Maybe. Apparently, I wasn’t useful enough, though. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 00:49, 7 January 2025 (UTC)

Make it to Ketchikan

Screw it, the Escape from Ojai sequel is (kind of) coming along again. It now has more pages than the original Escape from Ojai, but you can only get to Corvallis, Oregon and it's full of red links. There are several routes that don't even make it out of California. It has been a bit easier lately because Squaw Dee came back again. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 00:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)

w00t w00t– Preceding signed comment added by Squaw Dee (owns uncyclopedia • talk • contribs)

If I could make a suggestion on the sig, if it could show a timestamp maybe? L10nM4st3r ^{ROAR at me!} / _{What my paws scratched} 14:35, 7 January 2025 (UTC)

HAPPY LATE NEW YEAR!!

--Chicken4War / talk to me 12:19, 7 January 2025 (UTC)

@Chicken4War: hey Chicken4War, nice seeing you around here... Happy New Late Year to you too! 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 12:32, 7 January 2025 (UTC)

Hello, happy late new years too. L10nM4st3r ^{ROAR at me!} / _{What my paws scratched} 14:34, 7 January 2025 (UTC)

I can't believe that it’s already been half a year since I discovered that the Anchorage airport looks suspiciously similar to the Santa Barbara airport from the runways. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 14:44, 7 January 2025 (UTC)

22:34, 7 January 2025 (UTC)

– Preceding signed comment added by Squaw Dee (owns uncyclopedia • talk • contribs)

Oᑭ Iᔑ ᗅ… (H)

california's burning

not where I live is it but I was hit by 77mph winds throughout the night and I'm sleep deprived Somebetterusername (talk)

Not where I live either. We had much nicer winds over in Ventura. Where, I ask, do YOU live? Like, at least, what area of California? Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 16:37, 8 January 2025 (UTC)

well i know you live in 91.160.93.4 San Bernadino County Somebetterusername (talk) 16:43, 8 January 2025 (UTC)

Cool, I like it in Big Bear. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 16:45, 8 January 2025 (UTC)

it's so bad they have to cancel school districts, so now I have even more time making "comedy" here Somebetterusername (talk) 16:48, 8 January 2025 (UTC)

There was supposedly a fire in nearby Moorpark about a month and a half ago, they got it under control pretty fast, I didn’t even see the fire, only the smoke. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 16:51, 8 January 2025 (UTC)

Good, it’s in palisades, which, apparently, is a suburb of LA (I had to go on Wikipedia to find that, I only know the geography of Ventura and Santa Barbara County). I’ve been waiting for LA to burn my whole life. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 16:53, 8 January 2025 (UTC)

you mean like just LA or Hollywood? Even worse being next to LA, Dick Van Dyke has to deal with this shit again. https://radaronline.com/p/dick-van-dyke-99-carried-away-malibu-wildfire-neighbors-frail-actor-protecting-mansion-going-up-flames/ Somebetterusername (talk) 17:03, 8 January 2025 (UTC)

Let the whole county burn. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 15:25, 10 January 2025 (UTC)

WHAT THE SKIBIDI??? Somebetterusername (talk) 15:29, 10 January 2025 (UTC)

you can’t out-Bat Fuck Insane a resident of western Ventura County. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 15:32, 10 January 2025 (UTC)

You know, the stuff I’m saying isn’t (entirely) serious, as much as I hate LA… Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 15:47, 10 January 2025 (UTC)

nuh uh i'm more insane Somebetterusername (talk) 23:24, 10 January 2025 (UTC)

you think? Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 16:12, 11 January 2025 (UTC)

Kendrick just opened his mouth, and I'm about to put my dick in it right now / Then I put it in his ass, now he runnin' butt naked all over my house / I'm bout to make him gay tonight, back shots with both my hands in his mouth / I know that he wanted Pharrell, good sex with Polo socks on Mama's couch Somebetterusername (talk) 16:53, 11 January 2025 (UTC)

Ok, you win. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 16:56, 11 January 2025 (UTC)

@OPOSSUM: don't givebup yet! I believe in you! I know you can find a way to out-bat fuck insane this user!!! just find your inner bat fuck insanity!!!!! 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 17:00, 11 January 2025 (UTC)

what do you mean "this user". I have a name! It's.. uhh.. Somebetterusername (talk) 17:55, 11 January 2025 (UTC)

Oh yeah? You think you have a name? You think you have a place on this world! BAT FUCK INSANE LEVEL SIX! HERE WE GO! Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 18:02, 11 January 2025 (UTC)

@OPOSSUM: ok, that's too bat fuck insane... alula's gonna kill you if she ever finds out about this 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 18:05, 11 January 2025 (UTC)

🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪 20:50, 13 January 2025 (UTC)

new game

Uncyclopedia:Departure of Fun/Word Association is the name of da game! The first branch is Earth, do with that as you will. Need some players though Somebetterusername (talk) 21:26, 11 January 2025 (UTC)

uhhhhhh Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 22:01, 12 January 2025 (UTC)

Go take it to the BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW Department they got WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMBBBulances prepared for you.Terminate the Colonel's command. (talk) 02:44, 13 January 2025 (UTC)

1 L10nM4st3r ^{ROAR at me!} / _{What my paws scratched} 21:19, 13 January 2025 (UTC)

Why would anyone un-moccasin this page? Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 21:53, 13 January 2025 (UTC) Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 21:55, 13 January 2025 (UTC)

LAAAAAAAAAAAAAG L10nM4st3r ^{ROAR at me!} / _{What my paws scratched} 22:06, 13 January 2025 (UTC)

Indeed my good sir, the sheer quantity of lag in this environment defies my most immaculate sensibilities! – Preceding signed comment added by Squaw Dee (owns uncyclopedia • talk • contribs) 01:31, 14 January 2025 (UTC)

Magic Eye

Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 01:05, 17 January 2025 (UTC)

I know that's an optical illusion, but what exactly is supposed to be doing (or better said, look to be doing)? 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 14:10, 17 January 2025 (UTC)