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Welcome To Vogonopedia,

40,472 Planets Destroyed for Interstellar Bypass

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Featured Vogon Poem

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Gashee morphousite

Gashee morphousite, thou expungiest quoopisk Fripping lyshus wimbgunts, awhilst moongrovenly kormzibs. Bleem miserable venchit! Bleem forever mestinglish asunder frapt! Gerond withoutitude form into formless bloit, why not then? Moose. More...

Recently featured: The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul - The Meaning of Liff - Mostly Harmless - Shada

Yesterday's featured poem

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Oh Freddled Gruntbuggly,

Oh freddled gruntbuggly, Thy micturations are to me As plurdled gabbleblotchits On a lurgid bee. Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes And hooptiously drangle me With crinkly bindlewurdles, Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, See if I don't! More...

Vogon Trivia

  • ...That the only way to make an Infinite Improbability Drive is Having a Finite Probably Drive adjusted to the exactly probability of an Infinite Improbability Drive popping out in the air?
  • ...That automatic doors are immune to depression?
  • ...That the only way to make an Infinite Improbability Drive is Having a Finite Probably Drive adjusted to the exactly probability of an Infinite Improbability Drive popping out in the air?
  • ...That automatic doors are immune to depression?
  • ...That the only way to make an Infinite Improbability Drive is Having a Finite Probably Drive adjusted to the exactly probability of an Infinite Improbability Drive popping out in the air?
  • ...That automatic doors are immune to depression?

Constructor Fleet Headlines

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"It's for the children's own good!"

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian InvasionGaza WarTrump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Superman and Super Dog's movie doing surprisingly well • Israel/Iran and Russia/Ukraine "peace talks" • Pittsburgh Steelers adding old players way past their prime • Rock drummer exodus (not to be confused with Tom Hunting or Zbigniew Fyk)

Recent deaths: Diddy's freedom for only 20 years • Michael MadsenBill Cosby's TV sonBryan Kohberger's freedom • Ozzy OsbourneChuck MangioneHulk HoganResident AlienDown syndromeTom LehrerThe systemFUBAR

Upcoming deaths: DEIPittsburgh Steelers' locker room • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices • Diddy's bank account after incoming lawsuits • The asshats who spoiled Squid GameMAGAJoe Biden's credibility • The flowers you bring Alan Bergman • Bryan Kohberger, at the hands of his fellow inmates

On This Day in the Megabrantis cluster...

One can argue that the third Matrix movie was the best of the franchise, a daring yet clever subversion and synthesis of the Matrix's themes, a meditation on what it truly means for humanity to be free, when we have molded ourselves into machines far better than any robotic overlord could. Also, if you couldn't understand the Architect's speech on your first listen, you are a literal ingrate, and should perhaps read a book closer to your mental capacity, like "The Hungry Little Caterpillar" or "Everybody Poops."

August 7: Anniversary of the Day The Matrix Stopped Being Cool

  • 2003 - An adolescent who, for no reason at all, starts mimicking the slow-motion bullet dodge from the first Matrix film on a bus, is appalled to discover that his fellow passengers are not immediately breaking out in applause and high-fives, as is usual whenever any reference to The Matrix is made by anyone at any time.
  • 2004 - A suburban family, watching a toothpaste advertisement featuring characters in black leather doing kung-fu, lets out a bored sigh in complete unison.
  • 2005 - A stand-up comedian, beginning a joke with the words "You take the blue pill", is booed off-stage and has his car tires slashed.
  • 2006 - A man is kicked to death for saying "whoa" in a Keanu-esque fashion.
  • 2008 - Robert Mugabe becomes 44th President of the USA, announces that the Matrix "is totally not cool" and that people caught watching it "will be shot."
  • 2014 - The Matrix finally becomes cool again, for about three weeks until everyone gets to the third movie on their rewatch.
  • 2021 - They make a fourth Matrix movie, under the mistaken belief some of the love for John Wick will rub off on the movie by association.

Today's featured picture

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The beauty and decisiveness of the Vogon race is apparent with one look at the firm jawline, the blazing eyes, and the oozing smell of stale beer with a hint of burning cat hair

Image Credit: Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz
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Recent Poems


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Hitchhiker and Towel of the Month

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A well-known British hitchiker, Braydie Dent has hitched over a dozen stellar systems. His most known phrases consist of: What? and Tea please!. On his spare time he enjoys insanity, cricket, and that famous game that those British enjoy so much...what was it? Oh! Self loathing. Yes.


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This months Towel is the infamous TowelHax. He has captured a unique perspective of the Galaxy's events with his travels across the milky way. Sass that froopy towel. He knows where his towel he is.


Vote for Hiker of the month | Vote for Detached Arm of the Month | Vote for the Triple Breasted Whore of the Month | Past Winners

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