From today's featured article
A Civil War is a form of warfare known for its kindness and civility, in stark contrast to the other tactics such as scorched earth which are entirely too dirty for upstanding gentlemen. Civil warfare is a strategy that has outlasted many minor fads in warfare such as Germany's Blitzkrieg Bop, the British Redcoat's Stand In a Line and Shoot or the French Foreign Legion's Surrender. Its longevity as a tactic can probably be attributed to a few things, namely the incompetence of modern military tacticians compared to those of the past and the universal human need for cordial smiles and small talk, even during battle.
Civil wars are defined by a few chief characteristics. The Blitzkrieg Bop, for instance, was famous for its angular guitar rhythms and use of armor and dive-bombers to spearhead a motorized assault straight through the heart of an opposing force. Civil War, however, is based on these precepts: (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that Hans Helmuth Saltzman's collection of Camera Obscura images is the best preserved of the Renaissance era? (Pictured)
- ... that colorless green ideas sleep furiously?
- ... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments?
- ... that Rihanna's hit song Umbrella can cause rain to fall upwards?
- ... that Africa's space program, AIDS, has had several successful launches to altitudes over 11 feet?
- ... that Martin Van Buren is a total dick and nobody likes him?
- ... that if we lose cabin pressure, masks will drop from just above your head? I always get the Richard Nixon mask!
- ... that I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It was written by a computer?
In the news
- The Who's plan to lower insulin prices (Pictured)
- Yang a "coronavirus carrier," says Trump
- Trump butchers Franz Ferdinand hit
- Internet troll scores major win with stunning display of statesmanship
- Hannity scrambles to intervew Levi Parnas
- Pansexual announces she is Liberal Democrat
- Black Panther director on Gilliam's Brazil: "WTF?!"
- Trump tweets: "impeach the pres"
- Trump impeached, Christmas cancelled
- Epstein didn't kill himself, says Kotter
- Democrats blame 50m for voting wrong way in 2016
- Eddie Van Halen: Who's Billie Eilish?
- Dragnet reboot, Black Friday, debuts Friday
- James Dean named Sexiest Man Dead
On this day
- 4000 BC - Men discover their hands reach down to their genitals, and there is peace for three thousand years before they get bored and start killing each other with pointy sticks.
- 1791 - American imperialists "liberate" the state of Vermont because of its vast maple syrup reserves.
- 1861 - Jefferson Davis is declared president of the Confederacy after saying the "hard R" N-word fifty times in only six seconds.
- 1885 - Mark Twain's Adventures of Huckleberry Finn is published, its numerous grammatical errors are labelled by the publisher as a regional dialect.
- 1970 - The Chicago Seven are found guilty of being dirty commie hippies who might as well be guilty.
- 2010 - WikiLeaks publishes hundreds of thousands of classified documents revealing exactly where the U.S. keeps its nudes.
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