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From today's featured article

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Hermaphrodite is the Greek deity of love, beauty and transsexuality. They were an idol of great worship in Ancient Greece, and many temples were built in their honor. Hermaphrodite is best known for their extreme ugliness and grossness, as they possesses both male and female "qualities," which would be hot if they didn't possess the repulsive qualities of each gender (like a hairy Choda and monthly yeast infections). Eventually, Hermaphrodite was tired of the other Gods razzing them all the time, fled Mount Olympus, and started their own religion, Hermaphroditology. Hermaphrodite is still widely worshipped as a deity today by a small and still declining European pagan population, and a small but increasing transgender population. (Full article...)

Did you know...

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  • ... that individuals born under the sign of Gemini are often flammable and vulnerable to bear attacks?
  • ... that the great Wall Street Crash of 1929 led to many opportunities for great photography of homeless people and farmers covered in dust the following years?
  • ... that this is why we can't have nice things?
  • ... that the square root of 69 is 8 something?
  • ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
  • ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit?
  • ... that dihydrogen monoxide is a substance found in car exhaust, pesticides, acid rain, and YOUR ENERGY DRINK!?!?!?

In the news

As Bernie Sanders starts his second term, we reflect on his Presidency so far

On this day

"I should've called it 'Around the World in Two Days', see if you can do *that* you perfidious wench!" - Jules Verne, probably

January 25: Shit January's Almost Over? Day

  • 1890 - Nellie Bly (Pictured) crosses the world in only 72 days, is faced with the nagging feeling that the stove might still be on the whole journey.
  • 1949 - The first Emmy Awards are televised, audiences everywhere smash their television sets for "growing an ego."
  • 1971 - Idi Amin wins upset election in Uganda after the other candidate is mysteriously shot forty-seven times in the back.
  • 1995 - The Russians almost launch their nuclear weapons after mistaking an atmospheric missile for a giant middle finger.
  • 1996 - The last man to be hanged in America, immediately regrets choosing to be hanged seconds after hanging.
  • 1998 - Pope John Paul II visits Cuba, condemns the country for its human rights abuses after a mojito he ordered took "too damn long" to arrive.

Picture of the day

Falstrop's Amazing Kitten Huffing Device
 Early Victorian advances in kitten huffing technology were spearheaded by the notorious kit-head Algernon Falstrop.

Image credit: Sannse
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