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From today's featured article [Feature an article]

Public transportation; millions of people ride it all the time across these United States of America. Buses transport people from point A to point B with stops in between; every public transportation system may seem the same but deep down in San Bernardino County located in the Inland Empire lies a public transportation system oddly named "Omnitrans". What does that mean? Is it some sort of all-thinking bus system that can think for itself? All questions aside, all buses have a voice and this one has one many video game heads are already familiar with.

Meet GLaDOS, a fuel system ice inhibitor that's also an operating system and also arguably alive. She is the operator of Aperture Science, a high-tech innovator of science that is most notable for making shower curtains. It may seem like she runs Aperature Science 24/7 but her day job is voicing the announcements for Omnitrans...

So without further to do, I'd like to introduce to you... GLaDOS: the voice of Omnitrans. (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that Canadian baseball (Pictured) is a thing?

... that the process of dying and coming back to life as a cow is known as reincownation?
... that contrary to popular belief, popular belief isn't all that popular?
... that Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit has mostly turned into Witch-Hunting For Fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches?
... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber?
... that you should accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior, today!
... that I am writing this from beyond the grave?

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In the news [edit]

Back to work, peasants!

Writers strike ENDS!!! (Pictured)
Blackdick removed from Saw X
Bar fight breaks out at formal dinner party
Kevin Spacey FULLY ACQUITTED!!!
Twitter bird has ceased to be!
SAG-AFTRA on strike: Where are the B-listers?
Pat Sajak retiring from Wheel of Fortune, Vanna says, "GIV_ M_ A RAIS_!"
Vladimir Putin assassinated by Carrie Mathison
Singer Tina Turner dies at 83
Sweden wins Eurovision, Loreen becomes first artist to win twice since Johnny Logan
Uncyclopedia writers on strike!

Ongoing: Hollywood on strike · Russian Invasion · ABBA
Recent births: Ginny Weasley's baby
Recent deaths: Gary "Dream Weaver" Wright · The Writers Guild of America negotiations · Donald "Ducky" Mallard · The Writers Guild of America strike (2023) · Albus Dumbledore
Upcoming deaths: SAG-AFTRA strike 2023 · Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter

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On this day [edit]

October 1: Winter Paradox (Eastern Hemisphere), Contagious Disease Appreciation Day

1890 - 'Yosemite Sam' National Park established.
1919 - Woodrow Wilson falls down the White House stairs and is the first President to lose use of his left big toe.
1928 - The Soviet Union introduces its first Five-Year Plan, which is to come up with another five year plan in five years.
1930 - "October 1 day" celebrated in Paris. Rioting ensues.
1960 - Nigeria gains independence from the United Kingdom. This event is celebrated by a solemn ten seconds of not sending spam emails.
1962 - Riots in Mississippi as Alabama wins the "America's most racist state" award. Alabama's victory brought to an end Mississippi's 30-year winning streak.[1]
1963 - Intelligent design is no longer taught in schools after the California State Board of Education is created.
1975 - Muhammed Ali declared the eventual winner against Joe Frazier in a fight dubbed the "Battle in Guadacanal".
1979 - The Hunt For Red October officially began. It was supposed to start on September 28th, but they waited a couple of days to save them changing the name.
1998 - Raccoon City is destroyed by three cruise missiles and repeated aerial bombardment in an attempt to contain a T-Virus outbreak
2003 - Bournemouth recognised as a city by the British government, entire world shocked.
2004 - In a desperate bid to diversify its business Microsoft engineers and a team from Wigan University, England invent the pineapple chunk.

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