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From today's featured article [Feature an article]

A student loan is, ostensibly, a financial device utilized to enable aspiring professionals to attend institutions of higher education, even when they lack the funds necessary to pay for their tuition and fees. In reality, student loans are a mechanism for modern day indentured servitude, as thousands of indebted students graduate into a marketplace that is either unable to employ them, or is only able to under-employ them.

The end result is that students are becoming slaves to debt that they cannot discharge in bankruptcy and that will cripple them until the day they die. They will spend their days toiling in coffee shops for minimum wage while going home every day to sleep in their parents' basement, living off of cheap fast food and driving used Honda Civics with hundreds of thousands of miles on the odometer. (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that the Gay Agenda is out to get you? (Pictured)

... that water is bad for your health because fish have sex in it?
... that people residing or visiting Canada often ask themselves, "Why am I in Canada?"
... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
... that the keyboard you have been using has more germs than your toilet seat?
... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions?
... that in a world where movie trailers are crucial to a film's success... one man will provide his voice in innumerable trailers?
... that at some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser?

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In the news [edit]

Gina Lollobrigida 1927 – 2023

Late delivery: Demi Lovato and a hurricane team up to fix a supercomputer by turning it off and then back on
Viggo Mortensen joins Next James Bond
The movie Casablanca is 80 years old. Here's Looking At You, Kid!
President pardons Türkiye
Pennsylvania: Should I vote for Mike Doyle or Mike Doyle?
People in Los Angeles have another thing to make their lives more miserable
Benedict Cumberbatch: Doctor Strange 2 a better horror movie than Halloween Ends
Russian people are sick of being Russians
You won't believe who dies on The Crown
Mmm mmm mmm mmm

Ongoing: Russian Invasion · ABBA · Alected
Recent deaths: Barbara Walters · Inside Job · Gina Lollobrigida · Wikipedia · David Crosby
Upcoming deaths: Twitter · Warner Bros.

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On this day [edit]

January 27: International Bring Your Exotic Pet To Work Day

1776 - Thomas Jefferson, suffering from writers' block, brings his pet negro Toby to work, who writes the remaining 96% of the Declaration of Independence for him.
1933 - Adolf Hitler vows to destroy all Jews when his pet Jew sleeps with his girlfriend.
1945 - President Harry Truman let his Komodo Dragon press the big red button, authorizing the use of nukes.
1947 - Mahatma Gandhi takes his pet rhinoceros to a rally. Scares the British into leaving India.
1974 - The city of Brisbane gets flooded after Gough Whitlam's pet koala broke the river's banks.
1995 - Osama bin Laden trains his pet Orangutan to use AK47s and RPGs. Becomes mascot for terrorists all over the world.
2010 - Howard Zinn and J.D. Salinger die on the same day. They have a long-winded conversation about literature outside the Pearly Gates, boring and annoying everyone else in line.

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Thou shall not invoke the wrath of God, lest thou be condemned to an eternity of tickling!

Image credit: Claudius Prime
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