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John "Yellow" Snow (15 March 1813 – 16 June 1858) was an English physician, amateur water enthusiast and qualified coprophiliac arguably considered most notorious for utilising his scientific curiosity as a precision dagger of death, one that would end up effectively extirpating the life of celebrated canine Broad Street pump water addict Bruce "Scooby-Poo" of Soho, London on 8 January 1856.
Although hailed as a "lifesaver" by a sparse number (read: two-and-a-half) of followers for his allegedly halting the spread of cholera, Snow is more often adjudged by his many a critic as an envious, spanner-wielding saboteur resentful of a 17-foot-tall dog who could down fifty gallons of water per nychthemeron without so much as one terse hiccough, something the Victorian town of Soho's inhabitants believed merited far more preservation than their sad, fragile little lives.(Full article...)
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In the news
- Bulgaria wins Eurovision with nonsense song, fiercely warding off Israel; Albania, Croatia get robbed!
- The finale has now concluded. It's the 70th edition, Mazal Tov! Paddies didn't air it because they're busy watching the South Park Saint Patrick episode (Pictured)
- Cats on a Plane greenlit, Samuel L. Jackson hesitant to return
- Donald Trump sends condolences to "Lon Chaney" believing he is Dick Cheney.
- Dick Van Dyke mistaken for David Letterman
- UnNews shutting down - because we couldn't let Wikinews have all the fun
- Artemis II spacecraft shits itself passing the Moon
- Trump talks to America on Iran, Chuck Norris, the Moon, March Madness, and firing Pam Bondi
- World shocked as Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the bucket
- Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize
- Iran kept barely alive by Cardboard Ayatollah
- Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter
- Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.)
- The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS!
- US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters
Ongoing: Eurovision Vienna 2026 • War Special Combat Operation "Ceasefire" in Iran • NBA and NHL playoffs • MLB season • Wemby ripping the OKC Thunder a new one
Recent deaths: Ted Turner • Frenchie • PF4Eva's cat and Zoom H2N • Rex Reed • Mark Fuhrman • Buffalo Sabres' playoff run
Upcoming deaths: Iran • The Amazing Digital Circus • Euphoria (?) • The Boys (cough cough everyone on the show) • Rudy Giuliani
On this day
May 20: Visions of the Virgin Mary Day (South America).
- 1492 - Christina Columbus, the illegitimate daughter of a mediocre sailor, discovers a new continent, only to have her father Christopher claim the discovery as his own.
- 1551 - For an entire year, people make lame jokes about anagrams and dying of syphilis.
- 1732 - Queen Victoria, the Virgin Queen, declares war on France. Again.
- 1927 - Charles Lindbergh impresses two continents and wins a load of cash.
- 1930 - A time-travelling Jimbo Wales makes an unsuccessful attempt to kill Hitler. The two later become the best of friends.
- 1932 - Popeye is introduced to Extra Virgin Olive Oyl.
- 2004 - MaCaulay Culkin finally loses his virginity while falling from a cliff.
Picture of the day
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Satan hates his job, too. You're not like Satan. Are you? Image credit: RadicalX |
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