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From today's featured article [Feature an article]

At 6:55 this morning, my alarm clock went off. Still tired, I hit the snooze button and tried to fall back asleep. Five minutes later, my alarm clock went off again. Still tired, I hit the snooze button and tried to fall back asleep. Five minutes later, my alarm clock went off again. Still tired, I hit the snooze button and tried to fall back asleep. Five minutes later, my alarm clock went off again. Still tired, I hit the snooze button and tried to fall back asleep. Five minutes later, my alarm clock went off again. Still tired, I hit the snooze button and tried to fall back asleep. Five minutes later, my alarm clock went off again. Still tired, I hit the snooze button and tried to fall back asleep. Five minutes later, my alarm clock went off again. Still tired, I hit the snooze button and tried to fall back asleep. Five minutes later, my alarm clock went off again. Still tired, I hit the snooze button and tried to fall back asleep. (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that the man on the left is admiring the bare torso of the man on the right in a purely non-sexual manner? (Pictured)

... that Africa's space program, AIDS, has had several successful launches to altitudes over 11 feet?
... that existing is highly dangerous, and should not be performed unless you are competent enough to understand how to perform it?
... that sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from science?
... that not all πr². There are also many π that r rounded?
... that anyone who dies at Disneyland receives a free lifetime pass?
... that making a band usually involves frantically begging family and strangers to join?
... that the United States presidential election of 1948 saw the overwhelming defeat of then-President Harry S. Truman at the hands of Thomas Dewey, the Republican governor of New York and former partner in the law firm, Dewey, Cheatem & Howe?

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In the news [edit]

Tina Turner dies at 83 (Pictured)
Sweden wins Eurovision, Loreen becomes first artist to win twice since Johnny Logan
Uncyclopedia writers on strike
Israel's democracy is saved by new superheroine
Proposed Florida bill aims to solve the pronoun problem once and for all
California lays plans to automatically issue auto registrations for all voters
U.S. Air Force party-poops China's Lunar New Year "celebration"
Showtime announces Dexter: Bad Blood
Late delivery: Demi Lovato and a hurricane team up to fix a supercomputer by turning it off and then back on
Viggo Mortensen joins Next James Bond
The movie Casablanca is 80 years old. Here's Looking At You, Kid!
President pardons Türkiye
Pennsylvania: Should I vote for Mike Doyle or Mike Doyle?
People in Los Angeles have another thing to make their lives more miserable

Ongoing: Writers Guild of America strike · Russian Invasion · Eurovision · Alected
Recent deaths: Jerry Springer · Gordon Lightfoot · Rolf Harris · Tina Turner
Upcoming deaths: Twitter · Hollywoo · Steve Harrington

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On this day [edit]

May 30: Dead Soldiers Day (U.S.)

24 AD - Titus Tuccius Perpenna of Gaul is stabbed to death by Parthians somewhere in the Levant desert. His back facing the sand, he watches the morning sky fade to black.
1386 - Swiss mercenary Reto Birchmeier trips on a rock and is subsequently skewered by three Hapsburg Pikemen near the village of Hildisrieden. His wife Corinne remarries.
1812 - Dobrosław Senk, a Polish Cavalryman in Napoleon's Grande Armée, dies of exposure. He is buried in a mass grave near Vilnius, Lithuania.
1864 - Chinese rebel Wei Guanyu, an infantryman in the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom's army, is executed by Qin forces in the province of Guangdong. He is buried with an image of Christ in his clutched hands.
1944 - Captain Shishkina Leonidovna of the 588th Night Bomber Regiment is shot down by German Anti-Aircraft guns near the city of Görlitz. She is posthumously awarded Hero of the Soviet Union.
2016 - Pvt. Bill Galltrot steps on an old landmine in Kandahar Province. He later dies of septic shock, following complications during a surgery.

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Picture of the day

Pluto's revenge after being demoted. Sun and Moon were no help to Earth.

Image credit: Tedmund
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