From today's featured article
Hermaphrodite is the Greek deity of love, beauty and transsexuality. They were an idol of great worship in Ancient Greece, and many temples were built in their honor. Hermaphrodite is best known for their extreme ugliness and grossness, as they possesses both male and female "qualities," which would be hot if they didn't possess the repulsive qualities of each gender (like a hairy Choda and monthly yeast infections). Eventually, Hermaphrodite was tired of the other Gods razzing them all the time, fled Mount Olympus, and started their own religion, Hermaphroditology. Hermaphrodite is still widely worshipped as a deity today by a small and still declining European pagan population, and a small but increasing transgender population. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that Canadian baseball (Pictured) is a thing?
- ... that individuals born under the sign of Gemini are often flammable and vulnerable to bear attacks?
- ... that the great Wall Street Crash of 1929 led to many opportunities for great photography of homeless people and farmers covered in dust the following years?
- ... that this is why we can't have nice things?
- ... that the square root of 69 is 8 something?
- ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
- ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit?
- ... that dihydrogen monoxide is a substance found in car exhaust, pesticides, acid rain, and YOUR ENERGY DRINK!?!?!?
In the news
- A look back at Bernie Sanders' presidency so far (Pictured)
- Trump gets uncredited from everything
- UnNews editorial about the January 6th attack
- 2020 refuses to concede, vows to continue one more year
- Trump sues Coronavirus for infection fraud
- Jesus is given a one-year ban
- TV series Glee responsible for all the problems of 2020
- Girl bleeding everywhere gets white water all over her slide
- The Seven Wonders of the Ancient World got updated by COVID-19
- Thanksgiving is cancelled (again)
- Trump urges Van Helsing: STOP THE COUNT!
- Joe Biden wins, CNN calls it "fake news"
- Dewey defeats Kanye
- Dollar Tree shit smear mystery solved
- Anti-maskers ignore Halloween
- Facemasks are a conspiracy by Silver Shamrock
- This week's horoscopes!
- UnNews remembers Eddie Van Halen
- Mr. Krabs's tax returns released
- Trump has the hoax virus
- CDC recommends eating boogers
- Kanye West talks about Rolling Stone's new 500 Greatest Albums list
- Joe Biden to remake The Mask
- Middle Eastern journalists cannot wait for the 9/11 20th anniversary
- Biden being controlled by Dark Shadows
- Conways take political break in order to watch Urkel reruns
- Satanic heavy metal drummer becomes born-again Christian
- Trump's vocabulary reaches 50 words
- Van Morrison's brain dies of COVID-19
- Trump attacks derpy pony
- US replaces SATs with CAPTCHA
- Q announces peace between Q's and Q
- Biden announces dead wrestler Kamala as running mate
- Biden selects Strong Woman as running mate
- UnNews remembers Ennio Morricone
- Supreme Court to David Byrne: "This is not your beautiful wife"
- The Big Bang Theory pulled for being pizza-face
- Your favorite show is renewed for 9th season
- The Police shorten band name to "The" over controversy
- TV's Cops cancelled 25 years too late
- Pink Floyd killed by coronavirus
- Kalifornische Beamte erklären das Ego von Elon Musk für wesentlich
- Trump declares COVID-19 a terrorist organization
- Your cat's gonna kill you
- Christof from The Truman Show dies aged 74
On this day
- 1890 - Nellie Bly (Pictured) crosses the world in only 72 days, is faced with the nagging feeling that the stove might still be on the whole journey.
- 1949 - The first Emmy Awards are televised, audiences everywhere smash their television sets for "growing an ego."
- 1971 - Idi Amin wins upset election in Uganda after the other candidate is mysteriously shot forty-seven times in the back.
- 1995 - The Russians almost launch their nuclear weapons after mistaking an atmospheric missile for a giant middle finger.
- 1996 - The last man to be hanged in America, immediately regrets choosing to be hanged seconds after hanging.
- 1998 - Pope John Paul II visits Cuba, condemns the country for its human rights abuses after a mojito he ordered took "too damn long" to arrive.
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