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Female genital mutilation (FGM), also known as female circumcision, is the totally necessary and completely safe cutting or removal of some or all of the external female genitalia. While there are countless essential medical and moral reasons for this healthy procedure, the main purpose of female genital mutilation is to help women control their sexuality and preserve their purity. Sex should only occur between one man and one woman, only when the two are married, and only for the purpose of procreation. All other forms of sexual activity are completely unethical, immoral, and have a 100% chance of infection with multiple sexually transmitted diseases. (Full article...)

Did you know...

  • ... that cabbages are not to be trifled with? (Pictured)
  • ... the muffin man?
  • ... that the comic strip Fred Basset is interesting but not in the sense that might be expected of a comic strip?
  • ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?
  • ... that being safe with guns is- *BANG*
  • ... that Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted?
  • ... that Godot isn't coming?
  • ... that Robert Shaw won the Northeast Regional Dogfishing Open in 1974, the first sporting event to be broadcast on the new ESPN network?

In the news

January 6, 2021

On this day

Don't fucking move

January 22: National Cover-Up Day

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Bill Clinton reading "Filial Piety"
President Bill Clinton reading one of Uncyclopedia's most historic articles.

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