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From today's featured article 


MR. PINK: "Like a Whore" is all about a man who digs a girl with a big dick. The whole song is a metaphor for big dicks.

MR. BLUE: No it's not. It's about a guy who is very vulnerable, and needs to be held by big strong arms.

JOE CABOT: (looking through an address book) Tobey Maguire.. who the fuck is Tobey Maguire?

MR. WHITE: (grabs the book out of his hand and pockets it) You're not getting this back until the plot says so.

MR. BROWN: Dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.

MR. ORANGE: How many dicks was that?

MR. BROWN: It's how many I've taken before.

[the fellas crack up]

(Full article...)

Did you know... 

  • ... that I just had sex, and hey do you got any napkins?
  • ... that the amazing sensation of excruciatingly warm liquid on the genitals is just one of many reasons to pour boiling hot water down your trousers?
  • ... that if you were to stack up all the elephants on Earth, those elephants would die?
  • ... that the packets of silica gel that say "DO NOT EAT" are actually delicious?
  • ... that Alaska's principle exports include snow, ice, frozen water, and permafrost?
  • ... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to America and her allies?
  • ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?

In the news 

Back to work, peasants!

Ongoing: Hollywood on strike · Russian Invasion · ABBA
Recent births: Ginny Weasley's baby
Recent deaths: Gary "Dream Weaver" Wright · The Writers Guild of America negotiations · Donald "Ducky" Mallard · The Writers Guild of America strike (2023) · Albus Dumbledore
Upcoming deaths: SAG-AFTRA strike 2023 · Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter

On this day 

Example of a shiny ass, on the hampster!

October 3: National Day of Retrofitting Your Hamster with a Metal Ass (Japan)

  • -1195 AD - The King of Persia launches a surprise attack on Rome with their new and improved rugs. Cesar Chavez's army crushes the attacks with a combined Pirate and Ninja fleet.
  • 1423 - First recorded joke of a man making a pun on the word 'come'.
  • 1915 - Steel prices skyrocket due to the large number of pet hamsters owned in Japan.
  • 1952 - Due to shortages of metal after World War II, hamsters are forced to wear discarded cutlery.
  • 1978 - Aluminium asses are proved to give greater power to weight ratio for the hamster.
  • 1982 - Discovered that uranium hamster ass was "probably not a very good idea".
  • 2004 - PETA activists blockade McDonalds fast-food outlets to protest against the cruel, barbaric process of retrofitting hamsters with metal asses.
  • 2015 - Apple creates iLife, therefore having a lifespan of 6 months before something newer and better than you is released.

Picture of the day

Bunch of Windows errors
Windows XP is a reliable computer program, as shown here.

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