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From today's featured article

David in MSPWOAWFM.jpg

In MS Paint With One Arm, While Furiously Masturbating, originally known simply as With One Arm, While Furiously Masturbating, is a popular postmodern interpretation, often applied to classical works. The scope of this style is not entirely limited to artwork, as well-known editions of Fyodor Dostoevsky's novel Crime and Punishment and Radiohead's sophomore album The Bends have been made in recent years.

The style was born nameless some time during the middle ages, when a German sect of Gregorian monks in self-imposed isolation would practice the arts while pleasuring themselves to pass the time. The tapestries and manuscripts they created during these time were of unique design bearing almost no resemblance to those created by more conservative sects that frowned upon frequent masturbation. Lacking the intricacies and detailed engravings of their contemporaries, the work of the Seed-Wasters instead focused on the passion and entropy that lay beneath the surface of the artwork. This was, however, considered to be faint praise for a style that exhibited little to no effort and, occasionally, gratuitous semen stains. (Full article...)

Did you know...

  • ... that I'm secretly looking for Nazi Gold right now? (Pictured)
  • ... that wearing a Top Hat is not only a sound fashion choice, it gives you somewhere to hide candy?
  • ... that the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop?
  • ... that Crow war chieftain Old White Man was nothing like his brothers, Walks Over Eggshells and Sees No Color?
  • ... that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?
  • ... that Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle is Partly Visible?
  • ... that the only thing money can't buy is poverty?
  • ... that the The Root of All Evil is fishsticks?

In the news

Stanley Kubrick's fake moon landing: Fifty years later
"One small step for you, one giant paycheck for me."

On this day

July 20: Window Licking Day (Scotland)
Armstrong moon.JPG
  • 1903 – The Ford Motor Company ships its first car, the Model R, with an engine that powers its four wooden wheels with whale oil.
  • 1928 – The government of Hungary issues a decree ordering Gypsies to settle in one place, surrender their Gypsy gold, and take a bath goddammit!
  • 1969NASA astronaut Louis Armstrong becomes the first man to set foot on the moon (pictured) when Apollo 11 splashes down in the Sea of Tranquillity.
  • 1974Turkeys invade Cyprus.
  • 1981 – The chemical compund Anime is first isolated in a Japanese laboratory.
  • 2006 – A small Minnesota town mourns the loss of a small child who drowned in a pond.

Today's featured picture

Popular childrens' game involving cocaine. The "I'm a Romanian immigrant snorting myself to death" version will be available in stores in the near future.

Image credit: Freebasser
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