From today's featured article
Nobody cares is a policy employed by dictators, despots, democracy, the general public, and the wiki administration. It would be considered the largest epidemic facing the world today if it weren't for the fact that nobody gives a flying cow about epidemics. The school of thought began when somebody wanted something and nobody really wanted to do anything about it, or something. This is thought to have occurred sometime between Ancient Mesopotamia and the Fall of Rome, so we'll say Ancient Greece. Nobody cares enough to find out for sure. Somebody probably started it, with authority probably, so let's say Zeus. He was the ultimate god and ruled over the people or something and then the people weren't happy.
Then there was Rome and the Romans didn't like Christians. The Christians wanted to live. Romans were unmoved and made them fight lions to death. After the fall of Rome, we needed some kind of civilization to stop the barbarians or whatever, but no one could seem to get around to it. This is generally agreed upon (I think) as the beginning of the Dark Ages. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that it's a surprisingly simple process to starting your own religion? (Pictured)
- ... that while Pong! the Movie followed suit with the wildly popular video game genre, such as The Super Mario Brothers movie and Resident Evil, it did not play out as well in the box offices?
- ... that NASA will one day send sharks to space?
- ... that compromise is a great diplomatic tool? Although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better?
- ... that air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings.
- ... that the first use of "LOL" is in Shakespeare's play, As You Like It, and that the first use of "OMG" may be found in Macbeth?
- ... that this is just a distraction while we take your car?
- ... that every single day, we breathe enough air to continue living?
In the news
- Anti-maskers ignore Halloween
- Facemasks are a conspiracy by Silver Shamrock (Pictured)
- This week's horoscopes!
- UnNews remembers Eddie Van Halen
- Mr. Krabs's tax returns released
- Trump has the hoax virus
- CDC recommends eating boogers
- Kanye West talks about Rolling Stone's new 500 Greatest Albums list
- Joe Biden to remake The Mask
- Middle Eastern journalists cannot wait for the 9/11 20th anniversary
- Biden being controlled by Dark Shadows
- Conways take political break in order to watch Urkel reruns
- Satanic heavy metal drummer becomes born-again Christian
- Trump's vocabulary reaches 50 words
- Van Morrison's brain dies of COVID-19
- Trump attacks derpy pony
- US replaces SATs with CAPTCHA
- Q announces peace between Q's and Q
- Biden announces dead wrestler Kamala as running mate
- Biden selects Strong Woman as running mate
- UnNews remembers Ennio Morricone
- Supreme Court to David Byrne: "This is not your beautiful wife"
- The Big Bang Theory pulled for being pizza-face
- Your favorite show is renewed for 9th season
- The Police shorten band name to "The" over controversy
- TV's Cops cancelled 25 years too late
- Pink Floyd killed by coronavirus
- Kalifornische Beamte erklären das Ego von Elon Musk für wesentlich
- Trump declares COVID-19 a terrorist organization
- Your cat's gonna kill you
- Christof from The Truman Show dies aged 74
On this day
October 29: National Ignorance Awareness Day /International Rescue Day (Thunderbirds are Go!) / Ramadan ends
- 1576 - Rolf Harris invents the wobble board and didgeridoo. Chaos ensues
- 1675 - Leibniz makes the first use of the long s, ∫, for integral. 315 years later I have to take calculus. Thanks, man. Thanks a fucking lot.
- 1782 - God gets up, has a slice of toast, then decides it's all too much bother and goes to bed again for 500 years.
- 1929 - The New York Stock Exchange crashes in what will be called the Crash of '29 or Black Tuesday, beginning the Great Depression. I think that was like, when, everyone got really unhappy for a long time.
- 1969 - The first-ever computer-to-computer link is established on ARPANET, the precursor to the Internet. It is used to send porn.
- 1972 - President Richard Nixon declares that he is addicted to the word "Declares".
- 1998 - Space Shuttle Discovery blasts-off with 77-year old John Glenn on board, making him the oldest person to go into space. He bores astronauts by telling them about how in his day, they didn't have astronaut ice cream, and there were no zero-G toilets, they just had to hold it in the entire mission.
- 2002 - Ozone linked to Al-Quada, President Bush vows to increase carbon dioxide outputs as USA leads the way in the War on Terra.
Picture of the day
Other areas of Uncyclopedia
- How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
- Policies and guidelines — for the boring rules no one follows
- Formatting – for help on editing
- Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
- Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
- Community portal – for general community shenanigans
News on crack
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