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Let Someone Else Do It™ is every intelligent person's philosophy of life. There are plenty of things that if we stop doing them for a long enough time, some other sucker with less patience and a greater sense of responsibility will do them instead. This is an established law of our social reality, and it is our obligation to uphold it.
There are many chores that just lie in ambush, crouching like hyenas, ready to pounce and ruin your day. Let someone else do them! The ability to miserably slink away from these tedious tasks is a complex art, but very rewarding. Here are some examples: (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that you can meet all sorts of interesting people when you're drunk? (Pictured)
- ... that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering?
- ... that in order to complete the video game World of Warcraft, over one cubic mile of animals must be clicked?
- ... that 'tis but a scratch?
- ... that we don't talk about the incident?
- ... that when the chicken crossed the road, it was hit by a Ford F-150?
- ... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state?
- ... that the A-bombs dropped on Japan were awarded the Nobel Peace Prize?
In the news
- Britain abuses Emergency Alert System to tell people not to use BBQs
- Country you've never heard of changes name, not too different from old name
- Mr. Blobby burninates the whole of Europe
- Andy Murray becomes Pope of the United Kingdom (Pictured)
- HATSUNE MIKU IS SPANI— *ahem* I mean, Argentina loses to Spain at the 2026 FIFA World Cup
- Canada is on fire again
- The United States gives birth at 250
- Giraffe marries hippo in Mamdanistan, at a ceremony attended by the Illuminati, officiated by Happy Gilmore. Insiders claim the upcoming divorce album will "be lit".
- I asked AI to write me an Uncyclopedia article: the results surprised me
- We asked current UFC champions what their favorite Mitski song is!
- Seattle, FIFA troll homosexuals and homophobes
- Europe repeatedly melts into pile of goo
- Deltarune Chapter 5 to be released IN 3 MOTHERFUCKING SECONDS!!!
- Wikipedia co-founder permanently blocked, unblocked, and then re-blocked from his own creation; hundreds of Wikipedia editors swarm to Uncyclopedia
- Starmer to force UnNews to prioritise BBC over the "disinformation" we apparently provide
Ongoing: The gradual dehydration of Earth • Letterboxd outage • Argentina still refusing to accept defeat at the World Cup • Falklands War 2: Electric Boogaloo • Trump claiming victory in Iran... for, like, the 101st time or something
Recent deaths: Lettuce industry • Chuck Russell • Pussy • Christy Knowings
Upcoming deaths: PlayStation • Iran • Dick Van Dyke • Bitch McTurtleface • Lionel Messi • Dr. Fauci
On this day
- 1,000,000 BC - Caveman introduces fire to humankind as he hugs people for help while he is on fire.
- 1800 - Napoleon invades Russia, but forgets to hug Stalin when he on fire, thus ensuring French defeat.
- 1963 - Buddhist Monks protest South Vietnam government's discriminatory policies which favor Catholics by lighting themselves on fire and hugging the Arch-Bishop.
- 1975 - Three members of the Fantastic Four hospitalized with third degree burns after the fourth member, Johnny Storm, takes Ecstasy.
- 2002 - Hug People While You're on Fire Day partially negated by Hug People While You're Wet Day
Picture of the day
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- Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
- Community portal – for general community shenanigans
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