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From today's featured article
Hi Dr. Ruth, my name is Kanter, Enes (N. 11, 2.08 m/113 kg) and I play for the Boston Celtics in the center position. Since June 4 2020, we have been playing in a bubble, which just added to the problem I had to deal with all my life: I don't know what is my orientation. I was born in Switzerland, which is a neutral country, which didn't help much. My parents were Turkish, so we moved to Turkey, and eventually I became the youngest player in Turkish national basketball team history. But after I objected to the policies of Recep Tayyip Erdoğan, Turkey declared I was a terrorist and revoked my citizenship. My father publicly disowned me and asked me to change my surname. I'm also a wrestling fan, and two days ago I heard of this Iranian wrestler who got Brody'd for protesting against the government. This is very scary for me because I have no orientation and no one to protect me except Boston, Where Everybody Knows My Name. But it's not even my Name! It's very hard to perform when you are so disoriented. What should I do? (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that guilt tripping junk mail makes up 12% of Africa's GDP? (Pictured)
- ... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A?
- ... that making drugs explode in your stomach is not a good way to make yourself smarter?
- ... that the average human male between the ages of 18 and 42 has thought about sex with Brad Pitt at least once?
- ... that 'wax-on, wax-off' doesn't help teach kids karate, but just gets your cars waxed, free of charge?
- ... that the handgun is one of the most pitiful guns you can find, seeing as it's part of your hand?
- ... that if you poke a whale in the tummy it will giggle like a schoolgirl?
- ... that every single day, we breathe enough air to continue living?
In the news
- Former President Jimmy Carter turns 100 (Pictured)
- SNL returns, picks up our slack
- Lucy makes surprise appearance in fighting video game
- And on SNL!
- 16 Takeaways on why news stories these days are dominated by takeaways
- Florida Man tries and fails to get Trump shot again. Nobody cares this time, not even Trump.
- Ukraine finally plays its Uno Reverse card against Russia
- Tommy Wiseau making movie on cocaine sharks
- Harris announces shark as running mate
- Trump: How could an Indian be Black?
- Nigel Farage blames murder on migrants and sucks Trump's dick
- YouTuber Mr. Beast really professional fraudster.
- Olympic Games begin with Lady Gaga at opening ceremony
- Cocaine sharks now in Brazil
- Michael Bay working on Skibidi Toilet movie
Ongoing: Russian Invasion • Israel-Hamas conflict • United States presidential election • FOOBAW season!
Recent deaths: Tito Jackson • The Sims 5 • Dame Maggie Smith • Kris Kristofferson • John Ashton (no, not Gomez. That guy from Beverly Hills Cop. The one who isn't Judge Reinhold or Paul Reiser or Bronson Pinchot. Yeah, him.)
Upcoming deaths: Vladimir Putin • Kate Middleton • NFL fans' attention to their wives and girlfriends • Noam Chomsky • Google as a monopoly • Fútbol season • Coldplay
On this day
October 8: International Best Inventions Ever Day
Picture of the day
In order to quell the ongoing strife in the Mideast, the Canadian government has elected to send their elite peacekeeping forces into Afghanistan, Iraq and Mos Eisley. Image credit: NewMess1ah |
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- Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
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- Community portal – for general community shenanigans
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