Today's featured article
In MS Paint With One Arm, While Furiously Masturbating, originally known simply as With One Arm, While Furiously Masturbating, is a popular postmodern interpretation, often applied to classical works. The scope of this style is not entirely limited to artwork, as well-known editions of Fyodor Dostoevsky's novel Crime and Punishment and Radiohead's sophomore album The Bends have been made in recent years.
The style was born nameless some time during the middle ages, when a German sect of Gregorian monks in self-imposed isolation would practice the arts while pleasuring themselves to pass the time. The tapestries and manuscripts they created during these time were of unique design bearing almost no resemblance to those created by more conservative sects that frowned upon frequent masturbation. Lacking the intricacies and detailed engravings of their contemporaries, the work of the Seed-Wasters instead focused on the passion and entropy that lay beneath the surface of the artwork. This was, however, considered to be faint praise for a style that exhibited little to no effort and, occasionally, gratuitous semen stains. (Full article...)
Did you know?
- ... that the Angel of Death is after you? (Pictured)
- ... that I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It was written by a computer?
- ... that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?"
- ... that this in not a DYK entry?
- ... that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class?
- ... that doody played a very important role in the development of quantum physics?
- ... that cow tipping is a term that describes the custom of giving bovines an additional sum of money in exchange for their milk, meat, or other services?
- ... Jared Leto fucked your bf and he totally enjoyed it?
In the news
- James Dean named Sexiest Man Dead (Picture)
- UnNews will now only write about sports
- Comcast moves TCM to sports package
- Mick Mulvaney admits quid pro quo
- Stanley Kubrick resurrected, asked his opinion on Marvel movies
- Joe Biden's plan for black people
- Sam Smith's family thank fans
- UnNews remembers Lord Zedd
- New Apple Watch to tell the time
- Boxcar Bertha to be Scorsese's shortest movie ever
- Forest animals seen singing, dancing after death of David Koch
- Illegal aliens to be deported back to Andromeda galaxy
- Coyote $21,000 in debt
- Florida man turns Spider-Man into John Carpenter's They Live
- Where will Muse be in fifteen years?
On this day
- 1776 - American Revolutionary War: Hessian mercenaries capture Fort Washington from the Patriots. Startled revolutionaries say, "what the fuck is a Hessian"?
- 1915 - Albert Einstein solves the problem of Uncyclopedia's many inconsistencies and contradictions, which scientists had been trying to solve for centuries. His theory states that in fact space-time is inconsistent, and Uncyclopedia simply follows a geodesic line through it.
- 1960 - Clark Gable passes away. Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.
- 2001 Elmo (pictured) goes on a killing spree, attacking and consuming 23 children attending a Sesame Street convention.
- 2005 - The annual banquet the Feast of Saint Bukkake was cut short after the star of the feast declared "I'm full"!
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