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From today's featured article

Merry Christmas everyone!

A Charlie Brown Christmas is a crudely-animated Christmas special, based on the comic strip Peanuts by Charles M. Schulz. The special's central theme involves a satirical critique of the commercialism of the holiday, building up to a plainly-spoken articulation of the true meaning of Christmas. Which is to say, the true true meaning rather than this lukewarm fuzzy "Let's all hold hands" bollocks most specials pass off as the meaning of Christmas. If you shed a tear at this special, it's because God ordains it.

The special was sponsored by The Coca-Cola Company, initially intended to be a mere cash-in on the lucrative Peanuts franchise. It was hastily written over a period of six weeks, and animated on a shoestring budget in only four. Its unconventional elements such as a jazzy underscore, monotone child actors as opposed to adult ones, absence of a laugh track, semi-satirical humor, and not treating the target audience like idiots led the producers to predict the special would be a disaster preceding its broadcast. Oh, how wrong they were. (Full article...)

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In the news

Biden selects Strong Woman as running mate
"I'm a woman, yes. I'm strong. I'm Strong Woman."

On this day

August 10: Vatican Mardi Gras
  • 1479 - Pope Sixtus IV inaugurates Vatican Mardi Gras, a celebration of sexuality which is the only day of the year that Catholics are allowed to celebrate sex, dress provocatively, engage in sexual intercourse, expose themselves to crowds, and drink from extremely tall, thin vessels.
  • 1675 - The foundation stone of the Royal Greenwich Observatory in London got laid. It was happy all day.
  • 1829 - Pius VIII initiates the tradition of throwing beads to nuns and screaming "Show us your tits!". (pictured)
  • 1914 - Pope Pius X is killed in a collision between carnival floats. The driver had become distracted after Pius threw beads to a group of nuns.
  • 1989 - Pope John Paul II flashes a crowd of thoroughly appalled onlookers in Rome.
  • 1992 - Girls Gone Wild: Cardinal Sins is released in the United States to critical acclaim. Gene Shalit declares it to be "one of the best movies released today."
  • 2009 - Pope Benedict XVI enjoyed a massive gay sex party with all the other Popes.

Picture of the day

9-Eleven, a world-wide chain of convenience stores serving the needs of those who seek to overthrow whichever hated oppressor is in vogue at the time, is now owned by a conglomeration of businessmen operating out of Afghanistan for tax purposes. People often call them when they need fat. In a bun.

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