Protected page

Main Page

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

From today's featured article 


Pope Francis (Latin: Franciscus [franˈtʃiskus], Italian: Francesco [franˈtʃesko]; born Jorge Mario Bergoglio on 17 December 1956) is the 377th and current Pope of the Catholic Church, elected in 2013. As such, he is Bishop of Rome, the head of the worldwide Catholic Church, NAMBLA's ambassador to the UN, and president of the Vatican City chain of pizzerias. He also played in the NBA for the Los Angeles Lakers for the 1982-83 season.

A native of Buenos Aires, Argentina, Bergoglio was ordained as a priest in 1987 after a successful career as an international footballer. In 1998 he became the Archbishop of Buenos Aires, and in 2001 an Arizona Cardinal.

Following the resignation of his predecessor Pope Benedict XVI, over allegations that he sexually abused a child while shouting at an African man for wearing a condom, Bergoglio won the papacy after the traditional game of rock paper scissors, and chose his papal name in honour of Pixies lead singer Black Francis.

Francis is the first pope to be a Jesuit, the first to come from the Americas, and the first to have scored a headed goal in the World Cup.

In 2013, like most of his predecessors, Pope Francis was honored as Time's Person of the Year for making the world safe for pedophiles.(Full article...)

Did you know... 

  • ... that Freddie Mercury was banned in some European countries due to his extremely radioactive last name?
  • ... that apparently, this Charles Norris fellow is quite the ruffian?
  • ... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
  • ... that making a band usually involves frantically begging family and strangers to join?
  • ... that if you breed a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu; you will get a Bullshit?
  • ... that anyone who dies at Disneyland receives a free lifetime pass?
  • ... that the Byzantine Empire is pretty much the same as the Roman Empire, only not as cool?

In the news 

On this day 

"I got that Wikia money, brah. You can smell but you can't touch pleb bitches." - Jimbo Wales

May 19: Shill Your Products on Wikipedia Day

Picture of the day

Even the power of an iPod is no match for the common gun.

Image credit: Llama-Llover
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

Other areas of Uncyclopedia

Sister projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

Uncyclopedia languages

This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 37,690 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.