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Dead Dicks, besides being the enduring legacy of mythomaniacal former U.S. Presidents, Lyndon Baines Johnson and "Tricky Dick" Nixon, are also a numerical unit of one in Vietnam War "grunt-speak." The term was first used to describe a war stiff reported by the Vietnamese and American governments during the "body count" game. "Body-count" was a ghastly, albeit highly rated televised sport notorious for being imposed on the citizens of Vietnam and America by the captains of both teams. Essentially a dead dick is the complete opposite of a live dick, also known in Vietnam as a "Swinging Dick." From the onset both sides of the conflict agreed via negotiations that "the only good dick is a dead one." Accordingly the scoring system came into play and the game was once again a-foot. (Full article...)
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In the news
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"We already have a President who fucked a porn star, so why not!"
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On this day
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May 24: Collective Bra Burning Day
- 1431 - Joan of Arc's sitcom, "That's My Arc", officially cancelled. Riots ensue.
- 1830 - Mary's Lamb (of nursery rhyme fame) is the perfect ingredient for my Great-Grandmother's pot roast.
- 1917 - Protesting suffragette accidentally burns her brassiere trying to light up some citronella torches.
- 1937 - Fred Astaire declares himself to be "bigger than Jesus", angry Christians throw their radio sets in a giant fire.
- 1980 - After years of searching, archaeologist Baba Ganoush finally finds Elton John's cheese grater.
- 1998 - The Simpsons is cancelled, replaced by show with identical name, characters, and shitty writing.
- 2016 - In his final act as President, Barack Obama bans Axe Body Spray, the only bi-partisan bill he's ever managed to pass.
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