Protected page

Main Page

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Welcome to Uncyclopedia,

From today's featured article 

Itä-Suomen läänin vaakuna.svg.png

Archery is the art, practice, or skill of propelling arrows with the use of a bow. Archery has historically been used for hunting and combat. In modern times, however, its main use is that of a recreational activity, despite the apparent danger and the strict prohibitions against recreational archery set forth in the Bible. One who is relatively skilled in archery is typically known as an "archer" or "bowman," while an expert is sometimes called a "toxophilite." A beginning archer is known as "dangerous."

The bow is first mentioned in Genesis chapter 21, during the exile of Ishmael from the kingdom of Israel. The Bible states that Hagar went a bowshot away from Ishmael so he wouldn't hear her crying. This is a testament to the skill and strength of archers during Abraham's time. Even the greatest archers of today can hear the sobbing where their shot lands whenever they fail their William Tell act. Perhaps one day, when man finds his way back to God, we will be able to relive these miracles. (Full article...)

Recently featured:

Did you know... 

Air Force technologies.jpg
  • ... that the Russian Reversal is the common English term for the phenomenon during which a person descended from Russia is spontaneously turned around?
  • ... that it's probably not the weekend (The chance is 5/7)?
  • ... that the national pastime of Palestine is Stone the Israeli Tank?
  • ... that the first use of "LOL" is in Shakespeare's play, As You Like It, and that the first use of "OMG" may be found in Macbeth?
  • ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit?
  • ... that many diseases can be prevented by washing your hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case?
  • ... that Martin Van Buren is a total dick and nobody likes him?

In the news 

Trump-fries-ai.png
"The tastiest fries you'll ever taste! Also they're actually McDonalds fries"

Ongoing: Russian Invasion • Israel-Hamas conflict • United States presidential election • NFL season • World Series
Recent deaths: Kris Kristofferson • John Ashton • Rafael Nadal's tennis career • Liam Payne • The chances of a One Direction reunion • The New York Yankees' World Series appearance drought • Yahya Sinwar
Upcoming deaths: Vladimir Putin • Kate Middleton • Your fantasy football team's playoff chances • Noam Chomsky • Google as a monopoly • Fútbol season • Coldplay

On this day 

WHILST MOST COMPUTER USERS CAN EASILY FIND THIS KEY TO TURN IT ONNNNN, WHEN IT COMES TO TURNING IT OFF, EVERYONE BECOMES LOSTTTTTTT

October 22: Int-t-ternational S-s-stuttering Awareness Day and iNTERNATIONAL cAPS lOCK dAY

  • 1889 - AMERICAN TYPEWRITER'S UNION CHANGES NAME TO AMERICAN FEDERATION OF DICTATION TAKERS
  • 1920 NEW YORK TIMES INTRODUCES ITS FAMOUS "NEWS ZIPPER"; WALL STREET JOURNAL CAUGHT WITH ITS PANTS DOWN
  • 1940 - POETRY LAUREATE E E CUMMINGS ATTACKED BY RABID TYPEWRITER; HILARITY ENSUES
  • 1941 - WAR BREAKS OUT BETWEEN ALLIED STANDARD TYPEWRITER KEY BOARD LOVERS AND AXIS OF DVORAK USERS; PUNCTUATION SUFFERERS AROUND THE WORLD CAUGHT IN MIDDLE
  • 1968 - LED ZEP-EP-EP-EPLIN RELEASES ITS CLASSIC ALBUM "LED ZEPPPPLIN IIIII", FEATURING HIS HIT SINGLE "WHOLE LOTTTTA LLLLLOVE"
  • 2005 - W W W W W W W WOR WOR WORLD REC RE REC RECORD STUT ST STUTTER WI W W WIN WINS P P P P P P P P P PRI PRIZE
  • 2006 - CAPS LOCK DAY IS ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL CAPS LOCK GETS STUCK AND EVERYONE IS THOUGHT TO BE YELLING.

Picture of the day

Microsoft Word Processor
 The Microsoft Word Processor is good for the office and the kitchen! It can be yours for just 3 easy payments of $39.99!

Image credit: Tripod2282
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

Other areas of Uncyclopedia

Sister projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

Uncyclopedia languages

This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 38,249 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.

Retrieved from "https://en.uncyclopedia.co/w/index.php?title=Main_Page&oldid=6288249"