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From today's featured article
The Reich thanks you for tuning in to this special broadcast of the Nineteen Thirty-Six Nuremberg Rally! All the beer and sausages in Bavaria can't keep you from this great sport, we know. The proud sponsors of this unequalled event, Otto Eberhardt Patronenfabrik, Fokker, and of course Schuberth Helme GmbH, wish to formally convey their joy in being associated with such an occasion. It's Day Two. Let's join the action!
Ladies and gentlemen, this is your favorite official commentator, Irvine Lindenberg. Wow, have we got a race for you! It's a bit back from the front, where Mister Goring is off at his usual insurmountable lead, for fifth position. Yes, it's Erich von dem Bach in his trademark SS uniform, duking it out with Rudolph Hess. Look at those eyebrows! You could hide an entire armoured division in there! Hess is in a 1933 MechlebahnSchtop Roadster, 277 horsepower but prone to sudden breakdown; von dem Bach is suffering, you can clearly see it, under the weight of his two iron crosses as he sits uncomfortably at the wheel of his Überbungdenführer SA 18, manufactured in 1934. It's been back and forth as they burst through this last stretch to a High Command-approved watering hole somewhere in Bavaria. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy? (Pictured)
- ... that removing the rubber bands from the claws of a Lobster can result in oh god get it off get it OFF OH GOD MY FACE!
- ... that Rihanna's hit song Umbrella can cause rain to fall upwards?
- ... that the Rorschach inkblots all look kinda like my Aunt Gladys giving head to Satan?
- ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit?
- ... that many diseases can be prevented by washing your hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case?
- ... that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, the sister drug to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, is very effective against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis?
- ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
In the news
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- Opinion: Yes, I'm a Twihard. Let me explain
- UK judge desperate to cancel Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Pictured)
- Jury decides Amber Heard is bad at fake crying
- Ukraine wins Eurovision
- Mark Ruffalo professes love of war
- "Weird Al" Yankovic's 15th album: All you DIDN'T want to know
- Nick News: Will Smith banned from Oscars
- MTG tells cops she does not understand jokes
- "Weird Al" Yankovic gives the Russian Invasion a serious treatment
- Fans to SNL: Give n00b more screen time
- Hollywood has changed its name
- Albert Pujols returns to St. Louis
- Cleveland Browns bring in "manly man"
- Finland is canceling its embarrassing history with Russia
- Boney M and Dschinghis Khan rewrite Russia-themed hits
- Covid-positive Earl kills Queen in NBC reboot
- UnNews remembers Mark Lanegan and some more important stuff
- Dog bites alien
- Putin's mum issues apology from afterlife
- This popular article is restricted due to low creator history
- Spotify makes another huge mistake
- The fork is about to invade the spoon
- Rams bar Bengals from playing in Super Bowl
- Boney M removes Neil Young cover from Spotify
- Hundreds of Patients are Stuck in Oregon Hospital Beds
- Bob Saget writes ultimate dirty joke, dies from shock
- Weezer makes Death angry
- Rivers gets promoted by President Biden
- UnNews' Exclusive Interview with God: Part 3
Ongoing: Russian Invasion · ABBA · COVID-19
Upcoming deaths: Vladimir Putin
On this day
June 30: Dare A Younger Sibling To Eat An Insect Day (pictured)
- 3000 BC – Cain dares Abel to eat a scorpion. Abel does, and falls dead. Cain tries to explain it was an accident, but nobody will listen.
- 1500 BC – Aaron dares his younger brother Moses to eat a scarab beetle. Moses does so, and the gritty taste convinces him to lead his people from Egypt.
- 1859 – Oscar Wilde, despondent over not having a sibling to dare to eat an insect or be dared to eat an insect by, consumes an earwig.
- 1921 – U.S. President Warren G. Harding appoints former President William Howard Taft to the Supreme Court, after Taft successfully attempts to eat a small quantitiy of mosquitoes.
- 1959 – American actor Vincent D'Onofrio is born, paving the way to a career of acting as though he had just accepted a dare to eat a rather nasty-tasting insect.
- 1971 – Ohio ratifies the 26th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, lowering the voting age to 18, and lowering the threshold at which younger siblings are no longer required to accept bug-related dares to 16.
- 1999 – The Court of Bermuda sentences Erik Deli to death for putting mosquito paste on his younger brother's sandwich.
Picture of the day
Thermopylae was the top selling board game of the 5th Century BCE. Players compete to acquire wealth through stylized politico-economic activity involving the buying, rental, and trading of real estate using play drachma and bartering, whilst gathering groups of Perioikoi and Helots to work your land, as players take turns moving around the board according to the roll of the dice. Image credit: Mhaille |
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