Portal:Society

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The Society Portal
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Society is an abstract concept that envisions people and culture as a unified entity, thinking and acting in harmony. It represents a collective human aspiration, yet it is constantly mistaken as something already achieved. This illusion diminishes its true value and purpose, leading to its gradual decline.

Society only finds skinny people attractive, but is fat itself. Society doesn't like to stereotype people, except those damn Mexicans with their beans and rice. Society thinks foreigners should learn English before coming to America, but needs to find an English-speaker when it goes on vacation abroad. Society finds prison rape hilarious. Society believes America to be the greatest country on the motherfucking planet! Society preaches that gays should have equal rights... Just not in front of Society. Society knows that anyone who doesn't stand up during the Star-Spangled Banner is obviously a Communist. Society has no gender, yet seems to favor straight white men. But trust us, Society's not biased or hypocritical at all. (See more...)
Societal Selections
Since the invention of the toilet, philosophers have theorised on and contemplated the unanswerable questions in life.

Since the birth of time, there have existed many questions which man has struggled to find the meaning for. Queries which Philosophers through the ages have endeavoured to search for the answer to. This is conclusive proof that there remain certain aspects of our world that mankind (or even womankind, for that matter, though it may come as a bit of a surprise) cannot begin to comprehend. We, as mere mortals have struggled to cope with the vastness of existence.

Even The Theory of everything has its flaws: it assumes people are naturally naive and liable to believe everything they read. However, nothing should be taken at face value, as those that destroyed all of their electrical appliances for fear of suffering at the hands of the Millennium Bug will testify.

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Phrenology was a pseudoscientific belief that people's personality and worth could be determined by the shape of their head. Now, we look at your credit score instead.
Did You Know?
  • ... that prostitution may be the oldest profession, but passing the buck to someone else is the oldest hobby?
  • ... that Jesus stole my girlfriend? Yeah, she left a note on the fridge. Said he had a cool hippie look and sandals. That bitch.
Featured Folk
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The Aztecs, long considered as the Mesoamerican equivalent of Spartans, were a collection of ethnic groups well known for perfecting the delicate art of ripping the still beating heart from a man's rib-cage. Their intricate culture of random violence and ceremonial organ theft became known throughout the West through the chronicles of Spanish explorer Hernando Cortez in which he described the natives as "batshit insane lunatics" and "get me the f**k out of here".

Many of these unique cultural hallmarks stem from the Aztec’s religion which roughly dictates that their pantheon of gods require round-the-clock blood donations to continue functioning or the world would implode on itself [citation needed]. However, since the local population felt less than eager to kill themselves, the Aztec high council simply decided to outsource the task to other Indians, in the most hilariously invasive ways possible.

Society in the News
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THE HOUSE, Somewhere – The man who lives in the house amazed onlookers today when, at about the time the sun came up, he woke up. This life-changing event officially marked the end of a very boring period of time when it was dark and the man was asleep and there was nothing to do. It was horrible. I didn't think it was ever going to end.

But it did!!!!!

The man got out of bed and stood up, and I just about had a heart attack from excitement. I was so excited, I knocked him over! He didn't seem very happy about that, but I just couldn't contain myself. Nothing this exciting has ever happened before. Actually, now that I think about it really hard, it's possible that he's woken up once or twice before. I think. I'm not totally sure. Then I brought him a ball, and he kicked it down the stairs!!

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