Portal:Society

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The Society Portal
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Society is an abstract concept that envisions people and culture as a unified entity, thinking and acting in harmony. It represents a collective human aspiration, yet it is constantly mistaken as something already achieved. This illusion diminishes its true value and purpose, leading to its gradual decline.

Society only finds skinny people attractive, but is fat itself. Society doesn't like to stereotype people, except those damn Mexicans with their beans and rice. Society thinks foreigners should learn English before coming to America, but needs to find an English-speaker when it goes on vacation abroad. Society finds prison rape hilarious. Society believes America to be the greatest country on the motherfucking planet! Society preaches that gays should have equal rights... Just not in front of Society. Society knows that anyone who doesn't stand up during the Star-Spangled Banner is obviously a Communist. Society has no gender, yet seems to favor straight white men. But trust us, Society's not biased or hypocritical at all. (See more...)
Societal Selections
Can you fantasize it yet?

There’s nothing I enjoy more than long walks on the beach. Some of my other hobbies include watching the sunset from a picturesque grassy knoll, indulging in fine wine with a scrumptious foie gras dinner, and candlelight conversations on French film. But I think you'll agree that nothing is quite as sexy as me taking a long walk on the beach.

Can you Imagine it? Me with my salon-fresh sandy blonde hair flowing in the breeze (courtesy of Tina; you're a miracle worker, honey!) and a sporty J.Crew sweater tied casually around my waist, lobbing a stray Frisbee back at some snot nosed little urchin. You'll see me on the coast looking pensively out at the sea, reflecting back on all of the endearing little things I did that week.

Written by So So
Selected Image
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Phrenology was a pseudoscientific belief that people's personality and worth could be determined by the shape of their head. Now, we look at your credit score instead.
Image by Huffers
Did You Know?
  • ... that you're a burden to society, and your mother never loved you, and your dog looks at you in shame, and...
Featured Folk
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Known for their anger and smell, Norsemen (usually termed Scandinavians in post-12th century contexts) roamed Europe for thousands of years pillaging until they were satisfied — in the life of a Norseman, it was pillage for what you wanted and not what you needed. Their villages, or mounds of dirt as they now are known as, were so sickening that other villages in the surrounding areas were taken down and moved. It was finally in 1942 that the Norsemen were overrun by Nazi Germany. Following the war, Norsemen were sold as slaves and forced to work in sweat-shops in China. Norsemen have been striving for their rights for the past ten years. Finally on May 17th, 1993, President Clinton passed an act which gave Norsemen the right to vote as well as the right to leave the sweat-shops.

During the era before Christ, thousands of fairies roamed the area known today as Scandanavia. These fairies were prefect in everything they did which caused their pixie neighbors to become envious of them. Finally, in 793 B.C.E., the pixies cast a magical spell turning all the fairies into hideous and ugly men.

Society in the News
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STANFORD, California – Groundbreaking research from Stanford University has concluded that the more you hit a child in the head with a hammer the less they seem to care.

The study proves that hitting children with a hammer only bothers them to a certain point, and that after several strikes children stop their complaining, whining, and breathing, the three things that many parents say annoy them the most.

This is all contrary to the prevalent belief that hitting a child, especially with a hammer, will only make them cry more and that you should instead practice loving but stern parenting. The study proves that if a parent is persistent with the "hammer to the head" technique that they will eventually see results such as described above.

Written by EMC
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Further Reading
Societal divisions
Ethnicity

Ethnicity • African Americans • American (species) • Asian people • British people • Canadians • Carnies • Flying Gypsies • Foreign accent syndrome • HowTo:Be German • HowTo:Be Japanese • Jew • Niggers • Pikeys - Our Friends • Strategic Stereotypical Australian Reserve • The Last of the Mohicans • White people

Economic classes

Aristocrats (class) • British class system • Homeless nerds • NEET • The Poor

By age and generation

Baby boomers • Infant • HowTo:Be an adult • Generation Alpha • Generation Beta • Youth • Old people • Teenager

Subcultures

Bronies • Emo • Furries • Gamers • Goths • Hippie • Hipster • Metalheads

Activities
Cloud Hunting • Extreme Programming • HowTo:Kill Yourself With A Brick • HowTo:Refer to Yourself in the Third Person • HowTo:Walk • It's Your Turn To Take Out The Trash
Philosophy
Concepts

Ad hominem • Bad Arguments • Beauty • Brain Age • Circular Logic • Enlightenment • Fuck All • Karma • Layman • Psychology • Russian double reversal • Subtlety • There Isn't Any

Ideologies

Anti-intellectualism • Being and Nothingness • God, kittens, masturbation, killing, and you • HowTo:Control Your Emotions • I'm not a racist, but... • In what way is Snickers satisfying? • You don't exist • You have two cows

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