Portal:Society

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The Society Portal
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Society is an abstract concept that envisions people and culture as a unified entity, thinking and acting in harmony. It represents a collective human aspiration, yet it is constantly mistaken as something already achieved. This illusion diminishes its true value and purpose, leading to its gradual decline.

Society only finds skinny people attractive, but is fat itself. Society doesn't like to stereotype people, except those damn Mexicans with their beans and rice. Society thinks foreigners should learn English before coming to America, but needs to find an English-speaker when it goes on vacation abroad. Society finds prison rape hilarious. Society believes America to be the greatest country on the motherfucking planet! Society preaches that gays should have equal rights... Just not in front of Society. Society knows that anyone who doesn't stand up during the Star-Spangled Banner is obviously a Communist. Society has no gender, yet seems to favor straight white men. But trust us, Society's not biased or hypocritical at all. (See more...)
Societal Selections
Jenny. Isn't she pretty? I mean disgusting. Absolutely disgusting.

So, Jenny, the girl you've been with for two years, the girl you took to Blockbuster and bought snacks for, the girl you swore you'd be with forever a long time, has just broken up with you. It wasn't because you were too needy or you were a stalker or anything crazy like that. She just said that because she was nervous. She was intimidated by you and your amazingness. You two just weren't right for each other; no, you were too good for her. Yeah, that's right. You're better than her. She wishes she was you. She wishes she could be as attractive to girls as you are. Yeah, she's a lesbian. That's why you broke up with her isn't it? Yeah, that's why. Exactly. (See more...)

Written by CheddarBBQ
Selected Image
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Phrenology was a pseudoscientific belief that people's personality and worth could be determined by the shape of their head. Now, we look at your credit score instead.
Image by Huffers
Did You Know?
  • ... that every single person is unique, except you, unironically making you unique in your own right?
  • ... that tapheselachophobia, or the irrational fear of being buried alive with sharks, affects at least 4 people?
  • ... that being at one with the universe is half as easy as being at two with the universe?
  • ... that a threesome is loads of fun, even if you reproduce asexually? Don't ask me how I know...
Featured Folk
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The Aztecs, long considered as the Mesoamerican equivalent of Spartans, were a collection of ethnic groups well known for perfecting the delicate art of ripping the still beating heart from a man's rib-cage. Their intricate culture of random violence and ceremonial organ theft became known throughout the West through the chronicles of Spanish explorer Hernando Cortez in which he described the natives as "batshit insane lunatics" and "get me the f**k out of here".

Many of these unique cultural hallmarks stem from the Aztec’s religion which roughly dictates that their pantheon of gods require round-the-clock blood donations to continue functioning or the world would implode on itself [citation needed]. However, since the local population felt less than eager to kill themselves, the Aztec high council simply decided to outsource the task to other Indians, in the most hilariously invasive ways possible. (See more...)

Society in the News
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DENVER, Colorado – Denver-area sources say that area man Wes Dober has failed to return an ice scraper to his roommate, local journalist Jim Hoffman.

Hoffman loaned the ice scraper to Dober last weekend when Dober said he wanted to run to the store to pick up some "stuff". Hoffman had intended to devote the entire day to beating "Heavenly Sword" on the Playstation 3, so he agreed to the request.

However, Hoffman has yet to have that ice scraper returned to him.

"I'm pretty irritated," Hoffman said in an interview with his tape recorder. "I had to sit in the car for 20 minutes this morning while it defrosted. Then I had to go out and try to clean off the windshield with a credit card." (See more...)

Written by Hyperbole
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Further Reading
Societal divisions
Ethnicity

Ethnicity • African Americans • American (species) • Asian people • British people • Canadians • Carnies • Flying Gypsies • Foreign accent syndrome • HowTo:Be German • HowTo:Be Japanese • Jew • Niggers • Pikeys - Our Friends • Strategic Stereotypical Australian Reserve • The Last of the Mohicans • White people

Economic classes

Aristocrats (class) • British class system • Homeless nerds • NEET • The Poor

By age and generation

Baby boomers • Infant • HowTo:Be an adult • Generation Alpha • Generation Beta • Youth • Old people • Teenager

Subcultures

Bronies • Emo • Furries • Gamers • Goths • Hippie • Hipster • Metalheads

Activities

Cloud Hunting • Extreme Programming • HowTo:Kill Yourself With A Brick • HowTo:Refer to Yourself in the Third Person • HowTo:Walk • It's Your Turn To Take Out The Trash

Philosophy
Concepts

Ad hominem • Bad Arguments • Beauty • Brain Age • Circular Logic • Enlightenment • Fuck All • Karma • Layman • Psychology • Russian double reversal • Subtlety • There Isn't Any

Ideologies

Anti-intellectualism • Being and Nothingness • God, kittens, masturbation, killing, and you • HowTo:Control Your Emotions • I'm not a racist, but... • In what way is Snickers satisfying? • You don't exist • You have two cows

More Portals
Portals complement topics that nobody cares about and expand upon topics that everybody cares even less about.
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