Portal:Society
Society is an abstract concept that envisions people and culture as a unified entity, thinking and acting in harmony. It represents a collective human aspiration, yet it is constantly mistaken as something already achieved. This illusion diminishes its true value and purpose, leading to its gradual decline.
Society only finds skinny people attractive, but is fat itself. Society doesn't like to stereotype people, except those damn Mexicans with their beans and rice. Society thinks foreigners should learn English before coming to America, but needs to find an English-speaker when it goes on vacation abroad. Society finds prison rape hilarious. Society believes America to be the greatest country on the motherfucking planet! Society preaches that gays should have equal rights... Just not in front of Society. Society knows that anyone who doesn't stand up during the Star-Spangled Banner is obviously a Communist. Society has no gender, yet seems to favor straight white men. But trust us, Society's not biased or hypocritical at all. (See more...)
Since the birth of time, there have existed many questions which man has struggled to find the meaning for. Queries which Philosophers through the ages have endeavoured to search for the answer to. This is conclusive proof that there remain certain aspects of our world that mankind (or even womankind, for that matter, though it may come as a bit of a surprise) cannot begin to comprehend. We, as mere mortals have struggled to cope with the vastness of existence.
Even The Theory of everything has its flaws: it assumes people are naturally naive and liable to believe everything they read. However, nothing should be taken at face value, as those that destroyed all of their electrical appliances for fear of suffering at the hands of the Millennium Bug will testify. (See more...)
- ... that prostitution may be the oldest profession, but passing the buck to someone else is the oldest hobby?
- ... that every single person is unique, except you, unironically making you unique in your own right?
- ... that walking is like running, but much slower; conversely, running is like walking, but worse on your knees?
- ... that saying, "It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?" is comforting to normal people, and depressing to virgins?
White people (also delicately called Crackas, Caucasians, and Honkies) are pasty, melanin-deficient humans who have been sprinkled throughout the planet to exploit its resources and boss around everyone of more humble colors. White people are smart (in ways that don't really matter) and complain about stupid stuff, even though they have it better than every other race.
Whites discriminate against everyone else. Non-whites, by comparison, don't discriminate against whites, because they don't have majority power, so it isn't discrimination even if they do. And whites have stupid names to insult members of other races. No one else does that. These albinescent people are the only race that believes in space aliens. (George Clinton and Louis Farrakhan don't count, because they are space aliens.) In fact, whites love to hear themselves talk so much that they assemble entire collections of their own words (known as books). (See more...)
STANFORD, California – Groundbreaking research from Stanford University has concluded that the more you hit a child in the head with a hammer the less they seem to care.
The study proves that hitting children with a hammer only bothers them to a certain point, and that after several strikes children stop their complaining, whining, and breathing, the three things that many parents say annoy them the most.
This is all contrary to the prevalent belief that hitting a child, especially with a hammer, will only make them cry more and that you should instead practice loving but stern parenting. The study proves that if a parent is persistent with the "hammer to the head" technique that they will eventually see results such as described above. (See more...)
| “ | Look at these people. Glassy-eyed automatons going about their daily lives, never stopping to look around and think! I'm the only conscious human in a world of sheep. | ” |
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