Portal:Society
Society is an abstract concept that envisions people and culture as a unified entity, thinking and acting in harmony. It represents a collective human aspiration, yet it is constantly mistaken as something already achieved. This illusion diminishes its true value and purpose, leading to its gradual decline.
Society only finds skinny people attractive, but is fat itself. Society doesn't like to stereotype people, except those damn Mexicans with their beans and rice. Society thinks foreigners should learn English before coming to America, but needs to find an English-speaker when it goes on vacation abroad. Society finds prison rape hilarious. Society believes America to be the greatest country on the motherfucking planet! Society preaches that gays should have equal rights... Just not in front of Society. Society knows that anyone who doesn't stand up during the Star-Spangled Banner is obviously a Communist. Society has no gender, yet seems to favor straight white men. But trust us, Society's not biased or hypocritical at all. (See more...)
British people, better known as Britons, Brits, Knobheads, Limey bastards, or, according to the Words With Friends dictionary, tea-sodden football hooligans, are a group of Celts, Romans, Anglo-Saxons, Norse, and Normans who inhabit a rainy island in the North Sea. Brits are generally considered to be those who inhabit the countries of England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland; however, the Scottish, the Welsh, and especially the North Irish tend to either reject or remain blissfully unaware of the fact that they are British.
For some reason, Americans tend to assume British people have terrible teeth, and are usually bewildered to discover they have shockingly good dental hygene, unlike ol' Billy Bob McYank who only has one tooth and strums his banjo. Looking at the world map, with the prime meridian in the centre (we put it there because we invented time and we can put the line where the fuck we want to), we can see that Britain is in the centre and at the top; this is necessary to keep an eye on all you foreigners.
STANFORD, California – Groundbreaking research from Stanford University has concluded that the more you hit a child in the head with a hammer the less they seem to care.
The study proves that hitting children with a hammer only bothers them to a certain point, and that after several strikes children stop their complaining, whining, and breathing, the three things that many parents say annoy them the most.
This is all contrary to the prevalent belief that hitting a child, especially with a hammer, will only make them cry more and that you should instead practice loving but stern parenting. The study proves that if a parent is persistent with the "hammer to the head" technique that they will eventually see results such as described above.
- ... that bad arguments are just as good as good ones? Why? Because I said so! Also, your face is ugly.
- ... that you're a burden to society, and your mother never loved you, and your dog looks at you in shame, and...
- ... that Jesus stole my girlfriend? Yeah, she left a note on the fridge. Said he had a cool hippie look and sandals. That bitch.
- ... that the cheese growing between my toes needs a rebuttal as soon as possible?
- ... that fight club is a total cop out of the highest magnitude?
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