Portal:Society

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Society Portal)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
The Society Portal
High-Society-Suspender-and-Stocking-zoom.jpg

Society is an abstract concept that envisions people and culture as a unified entity, thinking and acting in harmony. It represents a collective human aspiration, yet it is constantly mistaken as something already achieved. This illusion diminishes its true value and purpose, leading to its gradual decline.

Society only finds skinny people attractive, but is fat itself. Society doesn't like to stereotype people, except those damn Mexicans with their beans and rice. Society thinks foreigners should learn English before coming to America, but needs to find an English-speaker when it goes on vacation abroad. Society finds prison rape hilarious. Society believes America to be the greatest country on the motherfucking planet! Society preaches that gays should have equal rights... Just not in front of Society. Society knows that anyone who doesn't stand up during the Star-Spangled Banner is obviously a Communist. Society has no gender, yet seems to favor straight white men. But trust us, Society's not biased or hypocritical at all. (See more...)
Featured Folk
Norseman.jpg

Known for their anger and smell, Norsemen (usually termed Scandinavians in post-12th century contexts) roamed Europe for thousands of years pillaging until they were satisfied — in the life of a Norseman, it was pillage for what you wanted and not what you needed. Their villages, or mounds of dirt as they now are known as, were so sickening that other villages in the surrounding areas were taken down and moved. It was finally in 1942 that the Norsemen were overrun by Nazi Germany. Following the war, Norsemen were sold as slaves and forced to work in sweat-shops in China. Norsemen have been striving for their rights for the past ten years. Finally on May 17th, 1993, President Clinton passed an act which gave Norsemen the right to vote as well as the right to leave the sweat-shops.

During the era before Christ, thousands of fairies roamed the area known today as Scandanavia. These fairies were prefect in everything they did which caused their pixie neighbors to become envious of them. Finally, in 793 B.C.E., the pixies cast a magical spell turning all the fairies into hideous and ugly men.

Selected Image
WikiSphere.jpg
Long ago, people thought that having complete access to the sum of all human knowledge would lead to humanity becoming smarter, and more emphatic. It mostly just led to more porn.
Society in the News
Skullthumper.jpg

STANFORD, California – Groundbreaking research from Stanford University has concluded that the more you hit a child in the head with a hammer the less they seem to care.

The study proves that hitting children with a hammer only bothers them to a certain point, and that after several strikes children stop their complaining, whining, and breathing, the three things that many parents say annoy them the most.

This is all contrary to the prevalent belief that hitting a child, especially with a hammer, will only make them cry more and that you should instead practice loving but stern parenting. The study proves that if a parent is persistent with the "hammer to the head" technique that they will eventually see results such as described above.

Did you know
  • ... that Jesus stole my girlfriend? Yeah, she left a note on the fridge. Said he had a cool hippie look and sandals. That bitch.
  • ... that saying, "It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?" is comforting to normal people, and depressing to virgins?
  • ... that saying, "It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?" is comforting to normal people, and depressing to virgins?
  • ... that you don't exist, but are merely an illusion created by your own brain, which also doesn't exist?
Quote of the Day
Further Reading
More Portals
Portals complement topics that nobody cares about and expand upon topics that everybody cares even less about.