Portal:Society
Society is an abstract concept that envisions people and culture as a unified entity, thinking and acting in harmony. It represents a collective human aspiration, yet it is constantly mistaken as something already achieved. This illusion diminishes its true value and purpose, leading to its gradual decline.
Society only finds skinny people attractive, but is fat itself. Society doesn't like to stereotype people, except those damn Mexicans with their beans and rice. Society thinks foreigners should learn English before coming to America, but needs to find an English-speaker when it goes on vacation abroad. Society finds prison rape hilarious. Society believes America to be the greatest country on the motherfucking planet! Society preaches that gays should have equal rights... Just not in front of Society. Society knows that anyone who doesn't stand up during the Star-Spangled Banner is obviously a Communist. Society has no gender, yet seems to favor straight white men. But trust us, Society's not biased or hypocritical at all. (See more...)
The Critique of Pure Reason, also known as "The Bitchslap of Pure Reason", is a famous philosophical postulate put forth by noted German philosopher Immanuel "Smarmy" Kant. Kant was famous for his refusal to put up with what he thought were "insane French ideas" about reality actually being real and so, to combat this, he began his Critique. Kant set out to disprove Pure Reason by use of a logical proof that made no sense, yet conformed to the very rules of Logic, subjectivity, and predicate. In doing so, Kant showed how it was possible that Pure Reason could be anything, including nothingness. This contradiction provides the basis of his renowned Critique.
- ... that Jesus stole my girlfriend? Yeah, she left a note on the fridge. Said he had a cool hippie look and sandals. That bitch.
- ... that every single person is unique, except you, unironically making you unique in your own right?
- ... that Russians only do a reversal when they are frightened, and you shouldn't encourage it at all?
British people, better known as Britons, Brits, Knobheads, Limey bastards, or, according to the Words With Friends dictionary, tea-sodden football hooligans, are a group of Celts, Romans, Anglo-Saxons, Norse, and Normans who inhabit a rainy island in the North Sea. Brits are generally considered to be those who inhabit the countries of England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland; however, the Scottish, the Welsh, and especially the North Irish tend to either reject or remain blissfully unaware of the fact that they are British.
For some reason, Americans tend to assume British people have terrible teeth, and are usually bewildered to discover they have shockingly good dental hygene, unlike ol' Billy Bob McYank who only has one tooth and strums his banjo. Looking at the world map, with the prime meridian in the centre (we put it there because we invented time and we can put the line where the fuck we want to), we can see that Britain is in the centre and at the top; this is necessary to keep an eye on all you foreigners.
DENVER, Colorado – Denver-area sources say that area man Wes Dober has failed to return an ice scraper to his roommate, local journalist Jim Hoffman.
Hoffman loaned the ice scraper to Dober last weekend when Dober said he wanted to run to the store to pick up some "stuff". Hoffman had intended to devote the entire day to beating "Heavenly Sword" on the Playstation 3, so he agreed to the request.
However, Hoffman has yet to have that ice scraper returned to him.
"I'm pretty irritated," Hoffman said in an interview with his tape recorder. "I had to sit in the car for 20 minutes this morning while it defrosted. Then I had to go out and try to clean off the windshield with a credit card."
| “ | A society grows great when old men cut down all the trees to sell the wood for a 4.3% increase in shareholder value this quarter. | ” |
— Greek proverb
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