Portal:Society
Society is an abstract concept that envisions people and culture as a unified entity, thinking and acting in harmony. It represents a collective human aspiration, yet it is constantly mistaken as something already achieved. This illusion diminishes its true value and purpose, leading to its gradual decline.
Society only finds skinny people attractive, but is fat itself. Society doesn't like to stereotype people, except those damn Mexicans with their beans and rice. Society thinks foreigners should learn English before coming to America, but needs to find an English-speaker when it goes on vacation abroad. Society finds prison rape hilarious. Society believes America to be the greatest country on the motherfucking planet! Society preaches that gays should have equal rights... Just not in front of Society. Society knows that anyone who doesn't stand up during the Star-Spangled Banner is obviously a Communist. Society has no gender, yet seems to favor straight white men. But trust us, Society's not biased or hypocritical at all. (See more...)
The Critique of Pure Reason, also known as "The Bitchslap of Pure Reason", is a famous philosophical postulate put forth by noted German philosopher Immanuel "Smarmy" Kant. Kant was famous for his refusal to put up with what he thought were "insane French ideas" about reality actually being real and so, to combat this, he began his Critique. Kant set out to disprove Pure Reason by use of a logical proof that made no sense, yet conformed to the very rules of Logic, subjectivity, and predicate. In doing so, Kant showed how it was possible that Pure Reason could be anything, including nothingness. This contradiction provides the basis of his renowned Critique. (See more...)
- ... that saying, "It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?" is comforting to normal people, and depressing to virgins?
- ... that the act of dropping acid while riding a bike is... OH SHIT!!
- ... that walking is like running, but much slower; conversely, running is like walking, but worse on your knees?
- ... that necromancy is just another way of getting a date, and that you shouldn't judge me?
Known for their anger and smell, Norsemen (usually termed Scandinavians in post-12th century contexts) roamed Europe for thousands of years pillaging until they were satisfied — in the life of a Norseman, it was pillage for what you wanted and not what you needed. Their villages, or mounds of dirt as they now are known as, were so sickening that other villages in the surrounding areas were taken down and moved. It was finally in 1942 that the Norsemen were overrun by Nazi Germany. Following the war, Norsemen were sold as slaves and forced to work in sweat-shops in China. Norsemen have been striving for their rights for the past ten years. Finally on May 17th, 1993, President Clinton passed an act which gave Norsemen the right to vote as well as the right to leave the sweat-shops.
During the era before Christ, thousands of fairies roamed the area known today as Scandanavia. These fairies were prefect in everything they did which caused their pixie neighbors to become envious of them. Finally, in 793 B.C.E., the pixies cast a magical spell turning all the fairies into hideous and ugly men. (See more...)
THE HOUSE, Somewhere – The man who lives in the house amazed onlookers today when, at about the time the sun came up, he woke up. This life-changing event officially marked the end of a very boring period of time when it was dark and the man was asleep and there was nothing to do. It was horrible. I didn't think it was ever going to end.
But it did!!!!!
The man got out of bed and stood up, and I just about had a heart attack from excitement. I was so excited, I knocked him over! He didn't seem very happy about that, but I just couldn't contain myself. Nothing this exciting has ever happened before. Actually, now that I think about it really hard, it's possible that he's woken up once or twice before. I think. I'm not totally sure. Then I brought him a ball, and he kicked it down the stairs!! (See more...)
| “ | A society grows great when old men cut down all the trees to sell the wood for a 4.3% increase in shareholder value this quarter. | ” |
— Greek proverb
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