Portal:Society

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The Society Portal
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Society is an abstract concept that envisions people and culture as a unified entity, thinking and acting in harmony. It represents a collective human aspiration, yet it is constantly mistaken as something already achieved. This illusion diminishes its true value and purpose, leading to its gradual decline.

Society only finds skinny people attractive, but is fat itself. Society doesn't like to stereotype people, except those damn Mexicans with their beans and rice. Society thinks foreigners should learn English before coming to America, but needs to find an English-speaker when it goes on vacation abroad. Society finds prison rape hilarious. Society believes America to be the greatest country on the motherfucking planet! Society preaches that gays should have equal rights... Just not in front of Society. Society knows that anyone who doesn't stand up during the Star-Spangled Banner is obviously a Communist. Society has no gender, yet seems to favor straight white men. But trust us, Society's not biased or hypocritical at all. (See more...)
Societal Selections
The protagonist begs the question for more in this classic scene from Oliver Twist.

Begging the question is a popular but difficult way of persuading interrogative statements to grant favors. Although many people have attempted to shake down questions for cash, gifts and other benefits, the questions make the following tacit assumption:

Only someone who does not need my money would ask me for it. The fact you are asking me for money is proof of this.

Many people use the phrase "begging the question" interchangeably with "raising (money from) the question," but the two are very different. Panhandling the question assumes you will get a quarter from "Where is the library?" by merely asking the query for change for the bus. (See more...)

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Long ago, people thought that having complete access to the sum of all human knowledge would lead to humanity becoming smarter, and more emphatic. It mostly just led to more porn.
Did You Know?
  • ... that every single person is unique, except you, unironically making you unique in your own right?
  • ... that the interstate is over thataway? Just follow the sign telling you to seek Jesus, the one next to the dancing armadillo...
  • ... that being at one with the universe is half as easy as being at two with the universe?
  • ... that prostitution may be the oldest profession, but passing the buck to someone else is the oldest hobby?
Featured Folk
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Millennials (formerly christened Generation Y) are the generational cohort born roughly between the birth of AIDS and the Spice Girls (or 9/11 if you go by fatter definitions), who are or aren't the spawn of Baby boomers and older Gen Xers, did or didn't experience the "Nuthin' Nineties", did or didn't survive the Iraq War, do or don't vape, and are forever caught in an emotional quadrangle of economic despair, constant putdowns from their elders, crippling student loan debts, and shell-shock caused by the prospect that they will have to work until the day they drop dead.

Millennials appeared at just the right time to witness the economic and political golden age of the 1990s, but were not quite old enough to enjoy the rave scene – unfortunately, the rug was yanked out from them all too soon, as the excessive abuse of avocado toast and the economy (often simultaneously) presented their bill. Despite being in their 30s and 40s, many still make only minimum wage, reside with their parents, and rarely reproduce... (See more...)

Society in the News
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DENVER, Colorado – Denver-area sources say that area man Wes Dober has failed to return an ice scraper to his roommate, local journalist Jim Hoffman.

Hoffman loaned the ice scraper to Dober last weekend when Dober said he wanted to run to the store to pick up some "stuff". Hoffman had intended to devote the entire day to beating "Heavenly Sword" on the Playstation 3, so he agreed to the request.

However, Hoffman has yet to have that ice scraper returned to him.

"I'm pretty irritated," Hoffman said in an interview with his tape recorder. "I had to sit in the car for 20 minutes this morning while it defrosted. Then I had to go out and try to clean off the windshield with a credit card." (See more...)

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