Portal:Society

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The Society Portal
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Society is an abstract concept that envisions people and culture as a unified entity, thinking and acting in harmony. It represents a collective human aspiration, yet it is constantly mistaken as something already achieved. This illusion diminishes its true value and purpose, leading to its gradual decline.

Society only finds skinny people attractive, but is fat itself. Society doesn't like to stereotype people, except those damn Mexicans with their beans and rice. Society thinks foreigners should learn English before coming to America, but needs to find an English-speaker when it goes on vacation abroad. Society finds prison rape hilarious. Society believes America to be the greatest country on the motherfucking planet! Society preaches that gays should have equal rights... Just not in front of Society. Society knows that anyone who doesn't stand up during the Star-Spangled Banner is obviously a Communist. Society has no gender, yet seems to favor straight white men. But trust us, Society's not biased or hypocritical at all. (See more...)
Societal Selections
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PERSONAL
ATTN: Staci Loman
1432 Kitchenside Dr.
Probably like, Ohio

Dear Ms. Loman,

I know this information is coming at an inopportune time in your life; having a deaf sister is never an easy burden to bear. And I know that the recent C+ in Geometry has severely affected your relationship with your parents for the time being, leading to a terribly unfortunate loss of car-borrowing privileges. I also heard about your cat Chuckles. Again, I’m terribly sorry. However, I believe the time has come for us to see other people. Other people, as in absolutely not each other. (See more...)

Written by The Thinker
Selected Image
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Phrenology was a pseudoscientific belief that people's personality and worth could be determined by the shape of their head. Now, we look at your credit score instead.
Image by Huffers
Did You Know?
  • ... that complaining about anti-intellectualism is just another strain of anti-intellectualism?
  • ... that you're a burden to society, and your mother never loved you, and your dog looks at you in shame, and...
  • ... that tapheselachophobia, or the irrational fear of being buried alive with sharks, affects at least 4 people?
  • ... that shopping without a shopping list is like hiking into the Alaskan wilderness without a map?
Featured Folk
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White people (also delicately called Crackas, Caucasians, and Honkies) are pasty, melanin-deficient humans who have been sprinkled throughout the planet to exploit its resources and boss around everyone of more humble colors. White people are smart (in ways that don't really matter) and complain about stupid stuff, even though they have it better than every other race.

Whites discriminate against everyone else. Non-whites, by comparison, don't discriminate against whites, because they don't have majority power, so it isn't discrimination even if they do. And whites have stupid names to insult members of other races. No one else does that. These albinescent people are the only race that believes in space aliens. (George Clinton and Louis Farrakhan don't count, because they are space aliens.) In fact, whites love to hear themselves talk so much that they assemble entire collections of their own words (known as books). (See more...)

Society in the News
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STANFORD, California – Groundbreaking research from Stanford University has concluded that the more you hit a child in the head with a hammer the less they seem to care.

The study proves that hitting children with a hammer only bothers them to a certain point, and that after several strikes children stop their complaining, whining, and breathing, the three things that many parents say annoy them the most.

This is all contrary to the prevalent belief that hitting a child, especially with a hammer, will only make them cry more and that you should instead practice loving but stern parenting. The study proves that if a parent is persistent with the "hammer to the head" technique that they will eventually see results such as described above. (See more...)

Written by EMC
Quote of the Day
Further Reading
Societal divisions
Ethnicity

Ethnicity • African Americans • American (species) • Asian people • British people • Canadians • Carnies • Flying Gypsies • Foreign accent syndrome • HowTo:Be German • HowTo:Be Japanese • Jew • Niggers • Pikeys - Our Friends • Strategic Stereotypical Australian Reserve • The Last of the Mohicans • White people

Economic classes

Aristocrats (class) • British class system • Homeless nerds • NEET • The Poor

By age and generation

Baby boomers • Infant • HowTo:Be an adult • Generation Alpha • Generation Beta • Youth • Old people • Teenager

Subcultures

Bronies • Emo • Furries • Gamers • Goths • Hippie • Hipster • Metalheads

Activities

Cloud Hunting • Extreme Programming • HowTo:Kill Yourself With A Brick • HowTo:Refer to Yourself in the Third Person • HowTo:Walk • It's Your Turn To Take Out The Trash

Philosophy
Concepts

Ad hominem • Bad Arguments • Beauty • Brain Age • Circular Logic • Enlightenment • Fuck All • Karma • Layman • Psychology • Russian double reversal • Subtlety • There Isn't Any

Ideologies

Anti-intellectualism • Being and Nothingness • God, kittens, masturbation, killing, and you • HowTo:Control Your Emotions • I'm not a racist, but... • In what way is Snickers satisfying? • You don't exist • You have two cows

More Portals
Portals complement topics that nobody cares about and expand upon topics that everybody cares even less about.
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