Portal:Society

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Society Portal)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
The Society Portal
High-Society-Suspender-and-Stocking-zoom.jpg

Society is an abstract concept that envisions people and culture as a unified entity, thinking and acting in harmony. It represents a collective human aspiration, yet it is constantly mistaken as something already achieved. This illusion diminishes its true value and purpose, leading to its gradual decline.

Society only finds skinny people attractive, but is fat itself. Society doesn't like to stereotype people, except those damn Mexicans with their beans and rice. Society thinks foreigners should learn English before coming to America, but needs to find an English-speaker when it goes on vacation abroad. Society finds prison rape hilarious. Society believes America to be the greatest country on the motherfucking planet! Society preaches that gays should have equal rights... Just not in front of Society. Society knows that anyone who doesn't stand up during the Star-Spangled Banner is obviously a Communist. Society has no gender, yet seems to favor straight white men. But trust us, Society's not biased or hypocritical at all. (See more...)
Societal Selections
Can you fantasize it yet?

There’s nothing I enjoy more than long walks on the beach. Some of my other hobbies include watching the sunset from a picturesque grassy knoll, indulging in fine wine with a scrumptious foie gras dinner, and candlelight conversations on French film. But I think you'll agree that nothing is quite as sexy as me taking a long walk on the beach.

Can you Imagine it? Me with my salon-fresh sandy blonde hair flowing in the breeze (courtesy of Tina; you're a miracle worker, honey!) and a sporty J.Crew sweater tied casually around my waist, lobbing a stray Frisbee back at some snot nosed little urchin. You'll see me on the coast looking pensively out at the sea, reflecting back on all of the endearing little things I did that week. (See more...)

Written by So So
Selected Image
Phren.png
Phrenology was a pseudoscientific belief that people's personality and worth could be determined by the shape of their head. Now, we look at your credit score instead.
Image by Huffers
Did You Know?
  • ... that prostitution may be the oldest profession, but passing the buck to someone else is the oldest hobby?
  • ... that Jesus stole my girlfriend? Yeah, she left a note on the fridge. Said he had a cool hippie look and sandals. That bitch.
  • ... that circular logic is good because I read it in an article on circular logic?
  • ... that necromancy is just another way of getting a date, and that you shouldn't judge me?
Featured Folk
Millennialhipsters.jpg

Millennials (formerly christened Generation Y) are the generational cohort born roughly between the birth of AIDS and the Spice Girls (or 9/11 if you go by fatter definitions), who are or aren't the spawn of Baby boomers and older Gen Xers, did or didn't experience the "Nuthin' Nineties", did or didn't survive the Iraq War, do or don't vape, and are forever caught in an emotional quadrangle of economic despair, constant putdowns from their elders, crippling student loan debts, and shell-shock caused by the prospect that they will have to work until the day they drop dead.

Millennials appeared at just the right time to witness the economic and political golden age of the 1990s, but were not quite old enough to enjoy the rave scene – unfortunately, the rug was yanked out from them all too soon, as the excessive abuse of avocado toast and the economy (often simultaneously) presented their bill. Despite being in their 30s and 40s, many still make only minimum wage, reside with their parents, and rarely reproduce... (See more...)

Society in the News
Skullthumper.jpg

STANFORD, California – Groundbreaking research from Stanford University has concluded that the more you hit a child in the head with a hammer the less they seem to care.

The study proves that hitting children with a hammer only bothers them to a certain point, and that after several strikes children stop their complaining, whining, and breathing, the three things that many parents say annoy them the most.

This is all contrary to the prevalent belief that hitting a child, especially with a hammer, will only make them cry more and that you should instead practice loving but stern parenting. The study proves that if a parent is persistent with the "hammer to the head" technique that they will eventually see results such as described above. (See more...)

Written by EMC
Quote of the Day
Further Reading
Societal divisions
Ethnicity

Ethnicity • African Americans • American (species) • Asian people • British people • Canadians • Carnies • Flying Gypsies • Foreign accent syndrome • HowTo:Be German • HowTo:Be Japanese • Jew • Niggers • Pikeys - Our Friends • Strategic Stereotypical Australian Reserve • The Last of the Mohicans • White people

Economic classes

Aristocrats (class) • British class system • Homeless nerds • NEET • The Poor

By age and generation

Baby boomers • Infant • HowTo:Be an adult • Generation Alpha • Generation Beta • Youth • Old people • Teenager

Subcultures

Bronies • Emo • Furries • Gamers • Goths • Hippie • Hipster • Metalheads

Activities

Cloud Hunting • Extreme Programming • HowTo:Kill Yourself With A Brick • HowTo:Refer to Yourself in the Third Person • HowTo:Walk • It's Your Turn To Take Out The Trash

Philosophy
Concepts

Ad hominem • Bad Arguments • Beauty • Brain Age • Circular Logic • Enlightenment • Fuck All • Karma • Layman • Psychology • Russian double reversal • Subtlety • There Isn't Any

Ideologies

Anti-intellectualism • Being and Nothingness • God, kittens, masturbation, killing, and you • HowTo:Control Your Emotions • I'm not a racist, but... • In what way is Snickers satisfying? • You don't exist • You have two cows

More Portals
Portals complement topics that nobody cares about and expand upon topics that everybody cares even less about.
Retrieved from "https://en.uncyclopedia.co/w/index.php?title=Portal:Society&oldid=6511061"