Portal:Society
Society is an abstract concept that envisions people and culture as a unified entity, thinking and acting in harmony. It represents a collective human aspiration, yet it is constantly mistaken as something already achieved. This illusion diminishes its true value and purpose, leading to its gradual decline.
Society only finds skinny people attractive, but is fat itself. Society doesn't like to stereotype people, except those damn Mexicans with their beans and rice. Society thinks foreigners should learn English before coming to America, but needs to find an English-speaker when it goes on vacation abroad. Society finds prison rape hilarious. Society believes America to be the greatest country on the motherfucking planet! Society preaches that gays should have equal rights... Just not in front of Society. Society knows that anyone who doesn't stand up during the Star-Spangled Banner is obviously a Communist. Society has no gender, yet seems to favor straight white men. But trust us, Society's not biased or hypocritical at all. (See more...)
The Critique of Pure Reason, also known as "The Bitchslap of Pure Reason", is a famous philosophical postulate put forth by noted German philosopher Immanuel "Smarmy" Kant. Kant was famous for his refusal to put up with what he thought were "insane French ideas" about reality actually being real and so, to combat this, he began his Critique. Kant set out to disprove Pure Reason by use of a logical proof that made no sense, yet conformed to the very rules of Logic, subjectivity, and predicate. In doing so, Kant showed how it was possible that Pure Reason could be anything, including nothingness. This contradiction provides the basis of his renowned Critique. (See more...)
- ... that God kills a kitten whenever someone reads an article on tired internet memes?
- ... that petting zoos are gonna get a whole lot more fun?
- ... that a threesome is loads of fun, even if you reproduce asexually? Don't ask me how I know...
- ... that the cheese growing between my toes needs a rebuttal as soon as possible?
The Aztecs, long considered as the Mesoamerican equivalent of Spartans, were a collection of ethnic groups well known for perfecting the delicate art of ripping the still beating heart from a man's rib-cage. Their intricate culture of random violence and ceremonial organ theft became known throughout the West through the chronicles of Spanish explorer Hernando Cortez in which he described the natives as "batshit insane lunatics" and "get me the f**k out of here".
Many of these unique cultural hallmarks stem from the Aztec’s religion which roughly dictates that their pantheon of gods require round-the-clock blood donations to continue functioning or the world would implode on itself [citation needed]. However, since the local population felt less than eager to kill themselves, the Aztec high council simply decided to outsource the task to other Indians, in the most hilariously invasive ways possible. (See more...)
DENVER, Colorado – Denver-area sources say that area man Wes Dober has failed to return an ice scraper to his roommate, local journalist Jim Hoffman.
Hoffman loaned the ice scraper to Dober last weekend when Dober said he wanted to run to the store to pick up some "stuff". Hoffman had intended to devote the entire day to beating "Heavenly Sword" on the Playstation 3, so he agreed to the request.
However, Hoffman has yet to have that ice scraper returned to him.
"I'm pretty irritated," Hoffman said in an interview with his tape recorder. "I had to sit in the car for 20 minutes this morning while it defrosted. Then I had to go out and try to clean off the windshield with a credit card." (See more...)
| “ | A society grows great when old men cut down all the trees to sell the wood for a 4.3% increase in shareholder value this quarter. | ” |
— Greek proverb
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