Portal:Society
Society is an abstract concept that envisions people and culture as a unified entity, thinking and acting in harmony. It represents a collective human aspiration, yet it is constantly mistaken as something already achieved. This illusion diminishes its true value and purpose, leading to its gradual decline.
Society only finds skinny people attractive, but is fat itself. Society doesn't like to stereotype people, except those damn Mexicans with their beans and rice. Society thinks foreigners should learn English before coming to America, but needs to find an English-speaker when it goes on vacation abroad. Society finds prison rape hilarious. Society believes America to be the greatest country on the motherfucking planet! Society preaches that gays should have equal rights... Just not in front of Society. Society knows that anyone who doesn't stand up during the Star-Spangled Banner is obviously a Communist. Society has no gender, yet seems to favor straight white men. But trust us, Society's not biased or hypocritical at all. (See more...)
PERSONAL
ATTN: Staci Loman
1432 Kitchenside Dr.
Probably like, Ohio
Dear Ms. Loman,
I know this information is coming at an inopportune time in your life; having a deaf sister is never an easy burden to bear. And I know that the recent C+ in Geometry has severely affected your relationship with your parents for the time being, leading to a terribly unfortunate loss of car-borrowing privileges. I also heard about your cat Chuckles. Again, I’m terribly sorry. However, I believe the time has come for us to see other people. Other people, as in absolutely not each other.
- ... that walking is like running, but much slower; conversely, running is like walking, but worse on your knees?
- ... that you don't exist, but are merely an illusion created by your own brain, which also doesn't exist?
- ... that you don't exist, but are merely an illusion created by your own brain, which also doesn't exist?
Known for their anger and smell, Norsemen (usually termed Scandinavians in post-12th century contexts) roamed Europe for thousands of years pillaging until they were satisfied — in the life of a Norseman, it was pillage for what you wanted and not what you needed. Their villages, or mounds of dirt as they now are known as, were so sickening that other villages in the surrounding areas were taken down and moved. It was finally in 1942 that the Norsemen were overrun by Nazi Germany. Following the war, Norsemen were sold as slaves and forced to work in sweat-shops in China. Norsemen have been striving for their rights for the past ten years. Finally on May 17th, 1993, President Clinton passed an act which gave Norsemen the right to vote as well as the right to leave the sweat-shops.
During the era before Christ, thousands of fairies roamed the area known today as Scandanavia. These fairies were prefect in everything they did which caused their pixie neighbors to become envious of them. Finally, in 793 B.C.E., the pixies cast a magical spell turning all the fairies into hideous and ugly men.
Cleveland, OHIO - Thomas Garrel, a local man with memories from before The Age of Human Suffering and Sadness, is annoying his family with tales of how life was like before our alien overlords took control of the planet, enslaving all life to do their bidding, and changing the course of human history. His grandchildren are said to dread the boring Sunday lunches filled with tales of what life was like before city-wide forced labor camps, and daily 9 AM child sacrifices became the norm across the world.
"He's always like, 'When I was younger, we weren't forced to de-slime the aliens every day, and humans and animals weren't forcibly cross-bred to create terrible creatures that form the basis of our nightmares and often times go completely insane, causing death and mass terror across the land,'" speaks his grandchild, Charlotte Garrel. "I mean, we get it. Things aren't like they used to be. Times change. Get over it old man."
| “ | Look at these people. Glassy-eyed automatons going about their daily lives, never stopping to look around and think! I'm the only conscious human in a world of sheep. | ” |
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