Portal:Society
Society is an abstract concept that envisions people and culture as a unified entity, thinking and acting in harmony. It represents a collective human aspiration, yet it is constantly mistaken as something already achieved. This illusion diminishes its true value and purpose, leading to its gradual decline.
Society only finds skinny people attractive, but is fat itself. Society doesn't like to stereotype people, except those damn Mexicans with their beans and rice. Society thinks foreigners should learn English before coming to America, but needs to find an English-speaker when it goes on vacation abroad. Society finds prison rape hilarious. Society believes America to be the greatest country on the motherfucking planet! Society preaches that gays should have equal rights... Just not in front of Society. Society knows that anyone who doesn't stand up during the Star-Spangled Banner is obviously a Communist. Society has no gender, yet seems to favor straight white men. But trust us, Society's not biased or hypocritical at all. (See more...)
Begging the question is a popular but difficult way of persuading interrogative statements to grant favors. Although many people have attempted to shake down questions for cash, gifts and other benefits, the questions make the following tacit assumption:
Only someone who does not need my money would ask me for it. The fact you are asking me for money is proof of this.
Many people use the phrase "begging the question" interchangeably with "raising (money from) the question," but the two are very different. Panhandling the question assumes you will get a quarter from "Where is the library?" by merely asking the query for change for the bus. (See more...)
- ... that the interstate is over thataway? Just follow the sign telling you to seek Jesus, the one next to the dancing armadillo...
- ... that prostitution may be the oldest profession, but passing the buck to someone else is the oldest hobby?
- ... that God kills a kitten whenever someone reads an article on tired internet memes?
- ... that a threesome is loads of fun, even if you reproduce asexually? Don't ask me how I know...
Known for their anger and smell, Norsemen (usually termed Scandinavians in post-12th century contexts) roamed Europe for thousands of years pillaging until they were satisfied — in the life of a Norseman, it was pillage for what you wanted and not what you needed. Their villages, or mounds of dirt as they now are known as, were so sickening that other villages in the surrounding areas were taken down and moved. It was finally in 1942 that the Norsemen were overrun by Nazi Germany. Following the war, Norsemen were sold as slaves and forced to work in sweat-shops in China. Norsemen have been striving for their rights for the past ten years. Finally on May 17th, 1993, President Clinton passed an act which gave Norsemen the right to vote as well as the right to leave the sweat-shops.
During the era before Christ, thousands of fairies roamed the area known today as Scandanavia. These fairies were prefect in everything they did which caused their pixie neighbors to become envious of them. Finally, in 793 B.C.E., the pixies cast a magical spell turning all the fairies into hideous and ugly men. (See more...)
COLUMBUS, Georgia - Hey, today is my cat's birthday. He is eleven today. I've had him for most of both his and my life. He's really nice, even though he attacks other cats. And people. He doesn't like people. Except me. We've had him ever since he was about two or three months old. We got him after my mother got done serving her community service at the animal shelter. That's where she served most of her community service, anyway. She also did some of her probation at Habitat for Humanity and at the airport. That's right. Half of the people who work at the airport as security screeners are people serving time. How else do you think 9/11 could have ever happened?
My mother had to do something like 200 hours of probation along with going to weekly AA meetings after she got a DUI. Guess where she got the DUI at? In a Chuck E. Cheese parking lot. Seriously. We went there because it was my fifth birthday. As I played, she got extremely wasted. Who knew they even served alcohol at Chuck E Cheese? Well, apparently they do. Or at least did. (See more...)
| “ | A society grows great when old men cut down all the trees to sell the wood for a 4.3% increase in shareholder value this quarter. | ” |
— Greek proverb
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