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Portal:Portals

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Portal Portal
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A portal is an introductory page for a given topic. It points out good articles on a topic, allowing non-featured material to be highlighted in some form. Portals also help editors find related projects and things they can do to help improve Uncyclopedia.

Portals are the best way to start exploring Uncyclopedia. Or, they would be, if it wasn't for the fact that most people don't really care about them, so they aren't really edited that much. But we can always pretend that they're active, for the sake of maintaining a minimum of credibility as an encyclopaedic wiki.

This page explains how portals work.

Featured Article
Here you can find one of the best featured articles from the portal:
This potato is the symbol of Uncyclopedia. It signifies mental softness and dead Irishmen

Uncyclopedia is a poor, meme-ridden "comedy" website that has cemented itself into online infamy. The site, which is thought to have originated in 1860 as an American imperialist tool for global domination, is now a multi-national effort and is viewed as the best of its kind by some.

Uncyclopedia specializes in tedious mockery of perceived competitors and petty in-fighting, with much of the content seen as mass-produced junk. Yet, there remains a peculiar fondness for some of the articles by fanatics. This is a view that has sparked a substantial shift from the site's satirical aspirations, causing it to instead redirect its resources into pathetic Russian reversals and endless references to Chuck Norris. This is compounded by the need for articles that appease a "softer consensus".

Written by Chronarion
Featured Image
Falstropskittenhuffing.jpg
Early Victorian advances in kitten huffing technology were spearheaded by the notorious kit-head Algernon Falstrop.
Image by Sannse
Further Reading

Portal categories

Featured articles

In the News
Really, you should check out the Categories page to find our content index.


Ozzy-osbourne--highway-to-hell.jpg
"All aboard! Ha ha ha ha ha!"

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War • Trump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Superman and Super Dog's movie doing surprisingly well • Israel/Iran and Russia/Ukraine "peace talks" • Pittsburgh Steelers adding old players way past their prime • Rock drummer exodus (not to be confused with Tom Hunting or Zbigniew Fyk)

Recent deaths: Diddy's freedom for only 20 years • Michael Madsen • Diogo Jota • Texas flood victims • LA ICE raids • Connie Francis • Alan Bergman • Bill Cosby's TV son • Bryan Kohberger's freedom • Ozzy Osbourne (pictured)

Upcoming deaths: DEI • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices • Diddy's bank account after incoming lawsuits • The asshats who spoiled Squid Game • MAGA • Joe Biden's credibility • The flowers you bring Alan Bergman • Bryan Kohberger, at the hands of his fellow inmates


Quote of the Day

“Here you can read one of the finest quotes about the portal of the topic”

~ Oscar Wilde on quotes
Did you know...?
  • … this is a portal?
  • … the portal has a topic?
  • … even if the portal doesn't have a topic, it should still have a pretty nice ass? Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't, that's a portal
Do It Yourself
Here is the source code for the Platonic ideal of a portal page. 
{{#css:Uncyclopedia:Portals/styles.css}}{{PortalNav}}
<div class="portal-container portal-platonic">
<!-- INTRO -->
<div class="portal-row portal-panel">
<div class="portal-panel-header">{{Portal header|Platonic Portal}}</div>
<div class="portal-panel-content">{{/Intro}}</div>
</div>
<!-- HIGHLIGHTS -->
<div class="portal-row portal-highlights">
<!-- HIGHLIGHTS COLUMN 1 -->
<div class="portal-highlights-column">
<div class="portal-panel portal-blurb">
<div class="portal-panel-header">{{Portal header|Featured Article|Selected Articles}}</div>
<div class="portal-panel-content">{{/Selected Articles}}</div>
</div>
</div>
<!-- HIGHLIGHTS COLUMN 2 -->
<div class="portal-highlights-column">
<div class="portal-panel portal-blurb">
<div class="portal-panel-header">{{Portal header|Featured Image|Selected Pictures}}</div>
<div class="portal-panel-content">{{/Selected Pictures}}</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<!-- BOTTOM ROWS -->
<div class="portal-row portal-panel">
<div class="portal-panel-header">More Portals</div>
<div class="portal-panel-content">{{Topics}}</div>
</div>
</div>
[[Category:Uncyclopedia Portals]]

Here is the code for an example "blurb" subpage 

<noinclude><gallery>
File:Article1.jpg|[[Article1]]
File:Article2.jpg|[[Article2]]
</gallery></noinclude>
<includeonly><choose>
<option>{{Selected article
|article = Article1
|image = Article1.jpg
|author =
|summary =
}}</option>
<option>{{Selected article
|article = Article2
|image = Article2.jpg
|author =
|summary =
}}</option>
</choose></includeonly>
More Portals
Portals complement topics that nobody cares about and expand upon topics that everybody cares even less about.
Retrieved from "https://en.uncyclopedia.co/w/index.php?title=Portal:Portals&oldid=6375923"