Portal:Portals
A portal is an introductory page for a given topic. It points out good articles on a topic, allowing non-featured material to be highlighted in some form. Portals also help editors find related projects and things they can do to help improve Uncyclopedia.
Portals are the best way to start exploring Uncyclopedia. Or, they would be, if it wasn't for the fact that most people don't really care about them, so they aren't really edited that much. But we can always pretend that they're active, for the sake of maintaining a minimum of credibility as an encyclopaedic wiki.
This page explains how portals work.
Uncyclopedia is a poor, meme-ridden "comedy" website that has cemented itself into online infamy. The site, which is thought to have originated in 1860 as an American imperialist tool for global domination, is now a multi-national effort and is viewed as the best of its kind by some.
Uncyclopedia specializes in tedious mockery of perceived competitors and petty in-fighting, with much of the content seen as mass-produced junk. Yet, there remains a peculiar fondness for some of the articles by fanatics. This is a view that has sparked a substantial shift from the site's satirical aspirations, causing it to instead redirect its resources into pathetic Russian reversals and endless references to Chuck Norris. This is compounded by the need for articles that appease a "softer consensus".
Portal categories
Featured articles
- Dick Van Dyke is 100, bitches! (Pictured)
- ICE spotted stealing everyone's ice cream in America
- North Sentinelese discover fire, accidentally burn down entire island
- Elon Musk: "Cancel Netflix! I don't care if Max wakes up."
- 6 or 7 buildings burn in Hong Kong
- Labour approval hits record low during Starmer premiership, PM resorts to "getting down with the youth"
- The New York Yankees now fucking suck
- Russian ship shines annoying red laser pointer at British planes
- Ron DeSantis passes Florida bill allowing seniors to hunt zoomers for their skin and organs
- Russian economy on life support after barely growing in 3rd quarter
- The UK to ban the resale of tickets
- Bill passed in Pennsylvania to legalise flying cars because why the fuck not?
- Trump kills the penny after realizing spending four cents on a one cent coin doesn’t "make cents"
- Russian AI powered humanoid robot faceplants on stage in front of crowd
- Syrian National Museum gets robbed of six to seven Roman statues
- Cloudy windy Hurricane Melissa hits da Jamaica, mon! BOMBOCLAAT!
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 2 and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Pats fans accusing NFL refs of kissing the Bills' asses • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Indianapolis Colts dragging an old man out of retirement
Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya Nakadai • Sally Kirkland • The penny • Udo Kier • Jimmy Cliff • Warner Bros. • Sheen Estevez • Chet Ubetcha • Doug Dimmadome • Zed's dead, baby (He was also the bad guy in The Mask) • Animal Farm • Patrick Mahomes' ACL and the Kansas City Chiefs' season • Rob Reiner.
Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song Contest • DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Dallas Cowboys' and Indianapolis Colts' season • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • The MetroCard • Dick van Dyke, eventually
“Here you can read one of the finest quotes about the portal of the topic”
– Oscar Wilde on quotes
- … this is a portal?
- … the portal has a topic?
- … even if the portal doesn't have a topic, it should still have a pretty nice ass? Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't, that's a portal
{{#css:Uncyclopedia:Portals/styles.css}}{{PortalNav}}
<div class="portal-container portal-platonic">
<!-- INTRO -->
<div class="portal-row portal-panel">
<div class="portal-panel-header">{{Portal header|Platonic Portal}}</div>
<div class="portal-panel-content">{{/Intro}}</div>
</div>
<!-- HIGHLIGHTS -->
<div class="portal-row portal-highlights">
<!-- HIGHLIGHTS COLUMN 1 -->
<div class="portal-highlights-column">
<div class="portal-panel portal-blurb">
<div class="portal-panel-header">{{Portal header|Featured Article|Selected Articles}}</div>
<div class="portal-panel-content">{{/Selected Articles}}</div>
</div>
</div>
<!-- HIGHLIGHTS COLUMN 2 -->
<div class="portal-highlights-column">
<div class="portal-panel portal-blurb">
<div class="portal-panel-header">{{Portal header|Featured Image|Selected Pictures}}</div>
<div class="portal-panel-content">{{/Selected Pictures}}</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<!-- BOTTOM ROWS -->
<div class="portal-row portal-panel">
<div class="portal-panel-header">More Portals</div>
<div class="portal-panel-content">{{Topics}}</div>
</div>
</div>
[[Category:Uncyclopedia Portals]]
Here is the code for an example "blurb" subpage
<noinclude><gallery>
File:Article1.jpg|[[Article1]]
File:Article2.jpg|[[Article2]]
</gallery></noinclude>
<includeonly><choose>
<option>{{Selected article
|article = Article1
|image = Article1.jpg
|author =
|summary =
}}</option>
<option>{{Selected article
|article = Article2
|image = Article2.jpg
|author =
|summary =
}}</option>
</choose></includeonly>
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Art
Peak pretentiousness -
Business
Money, money, money! -
Comedy
The science of funny -
Culinary
Food for the soul -
Film
Enter the Matrix -
Games
Recess time -
Gay
A gay ol' time -
Geography
Get lost -
History
Factually wrong -
Literature
Literally illiterate -
Internet
A series of tubes -
Music
Rock on! -
Politics
Politically incorrect -
People
The people's portal -
Religion
Speak of the Devil -
Science
Playing to be God -
Society
We live in one -
Technology
Breaking stuff easier -
Television
Turn your brain off -
Theatre
To be or not to be -
Video Games
Better than sex -
Zoology
Beware of furries -
Portals
Meta-Portal -
Community
The Community -
Main Page
The Uncyclopedia