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Portal:Portals

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Portal Portal
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A Portal is an introductory page for a given topic. It features selected articles, pictures, news and other content relevant to a topic, providing a general overview of content readers and editors might otherwise not find just randomly smashing the "Random article" button.

Portals are the best way to start exploring Uncyclopedia. Or, they would be, if it wasn't for the fact that most people don't really care about them, so they aren't really edited that much. But we can always pretend that they're active, for the sake of maintaining a minimum of credibility as an encyclopaedic wiki.

The following content is randomly taken from any of the portal blurbs used in each topic page.

Today's Random Article
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Come here little grandson, and pull up a chair, ol' grandpa has to say something to you. What story am I going to be telling this time? Hah ha, no story tonight, Jimmy, I'm going to lecture you on something very important. It's time to learn about a little subject called "filial piety". Don't start fussing now, it's a very important subject to learn about when squirts like you start to grow up.

What is filial piety, Grandpa?

I was just about to get into that, Jimmy. Filial piety is a simple enough concept, often embraced by popular religions such as Confucianism and Christianity. Now, you're Christian but you don't know what filial piety is, right? That's because the heads of your religion decided to muck up the phrase and replace it with a simplistic platitude such as "love your mom and pop". But I digress, I'll talk to you about religion some other day. (See more...)

Today's Random Biography
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Nikola Tesla (Serbian: Кицк Асс; 10 July 1856 – 7 January 1943) is one Croatian bad mofo and a god of electricity in Norse mythology. He is also a scientist, inventor and visionary. Worship him for you cannot win, he shall disarm all your petty weapons.

Though commonly believed to be human, Nikola Tesla was actually born through a small discharge of static electricity caused by his mother rubbing up against the local pizza delivery boy during a lightning storm, or at least that's what she told Tesla's father. Another lesser known theory claims that he actually was hired to construct himself by his father in the summer of 1883 for 5$ per hour. The story has it that Tesla had already been working on plans for himself in secret for several years so was able to start right away. Unfortunately, because he revealed his plan to Thomas Edison, Edison patented him before he could build himself and then had Tesla's legs broken for copyright infringement. (See more...)

Today's Random Picture
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Welcome to 4chan. You are here.
Image by Ihavenolife
Did You Know?
  • ... that Jewish cuisine is classified as a biohazard and is a violation of international law to serve to POWs?
  • ... that the Bahais have the best kush? Just don't tell the Muslims.
  • ... that God's answering service is experiencing high-volume, please call again later?
  • ... that getting into Heaven is so easy, it would be presumptuous of me to even tell you?
  • ... that ancient Shinto temples aren't portals to anime world, please don't kill yourself there?
  • ... that Voidism, or Śūnyatā, is a concept in Buddhism, Hinduism and Jainism which most Westerners tend to a-void?
  • ... that the Universe is not in fact blind to our sorrows and indifferent to our pain?
  • ... that Walpurgis Night (or Walpurgisnacht) celebrates St. Walpurga, patron saint of stinky women?
Do It Yourself
Portal page directory

Uncyclopedia:Portals · Category:Uncyclopedia Portals

All Portal topics
Portal blurbs
Portal templates
Portal stylesheets
Portal source code examples

Here is the source code for the Platonic ideal of a portal page. For creating new portal pages, change portal-platonic to the name of your new portal topic, like portal-crabs. 

{{#css:Uncyclopedia:Portals/styles.css}}{{PortalNav}}
<div class="portal-container portal-platonic">
<!-- INTRO -->
<div class="portal-row portal-panel">
<div class="portal-panel-header">{{Portal header|Platonic Portal}}</div>
<div class="portal-panel-content">{{/Intro}}</div>
</div>
<!-- HIGHLIGHTS -->
<div class="portal-row portal-highlights">
<!-- HIGHLIGHTS COLUMN 1 -->
<div class="portal-highlights-column">
<div class="portal-panel portal-blurb">
<div class="portal-panel-header">{{Portal header|Featured Article|Selected Articles}}</div>
<div class="portal-panel-content">{{/Selected Articles}}</div>
</div>
</div>
<!-- HIGHLIGHTS COLUMN 2 -->
<div class="portal-highlights-column">
<div class="portal-panel portal-blurb">
<div class="portal-panel-header">{{Portal header|Featured Image|Selected Pictures}}</div>
<div class="portal-panel-content">{{/Selected Pictures}}</div>
</div>
<div class="portal-panel">
<div class="portal-panel-header">{{Portal header|Did You Know?|Did You Know}}</div>
<div class="portal-panel-content">{{PortalDYK|Portal:Platonic/Did You Know|6}}</div> <!-- Make sure to change Portal:Platonic to correct topic name -->
</div>
</div>
</div>
<!-- BOTTOM ROWS -->
<div class="portal-row portal-panel">
<div class="portal-panel-header">More Portals</div>
<div class="portal-panel-content">{{Topics}}</div>
</div>
</div>
[[Category:Uncyclopedia Portals]]

Here is the example code for an "article blurb" subpage, used in Portal article blurbs, Portal biographical blurbs and so on. 

<noinclude><gallery>
File:Article1.jpg|[[Article1]]
File:Article2.jpg|[[Article2]]
</gallery></noinclude>
<includeonly><choose>
<option>{{Selected article
|article = Article1
|image = Article1.jpg
|author =
|summary =
}}</option>
<option>{{Selected article
|article = Article2
|image = Article2.jpg
|author =
|summary =
}}</option>
</choose></includeonly><noinclude>
[[Category:Portal article blurbs]] <!-- Other category names: [[Category:Portal biographical blurbs]], [[Category:Portal featurette blurbs]], [[Category:Portal news blurbs]] -->
</noinclude>

Here is the example code for a "picture blurb" subpage, used in Portal picture blurbs. 

<noinclude><gallery>
File:Picture1.png
File:Picture2.png
</gallery></noinclude>
<includeonly><choose>
<option>{{Selected picture
|image = Picture1.png
|credit = 
|caption = 
}}</option>
<option>{{Selected picture
|image = Picture2.png
|credit = 
|caption = 
}}</option>
</choose></includeonly><noinclude>
[[Category:Portal picture blurbs]]
</noinclude>

Here is the example code for a "DYK page", used in Portal DYK blurbs. Note that rather than transcluding the subpage directly, portal pages use {{PortalDYK}} to extract bulleted list items from a specified subpage. 

<!-- 
DYK entries should look like this:

*... that blah blah blah blah blah?

  -->
<noinclude><h2>Full DYK list</h2></noinclude>
*... that [[example]] one?
*... that example ''two''?
*... that example '''''three'''''?
<noinclude>[[Category:Portal DYK blurbs]]</noinclude>
More Portals
Portals complement topics that nobody cares about and expand upon topics that everybody cares even less about.
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