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Portal:Portals

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Portal Portal
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A Portal is an introductory page for a given topic. It features selected articles, pictures, news and other content relevant to a topic, providing a general overview of content readers and editors might otherwise not find just randomly smashing the "Random article" button.

Portals are the best way to start exploring Uncyclopedia. Or, they would be, if it wasn't for the fact that most people don't really care about them, so they aren't really edited that much. But we can always pretend that they're active, for the sake of maintaining a minimum of credibility as an encyclopaedic wiki.

The following content is randomly taken from any of the portal blurbs used in each topic page.

Today's Random Article
Unicorn.jpg

I know what you're thinking: But sir, you say in a thick English accent, unicorns are so rare and beautiful! Well let me tell you something Buster Brown, unicorns are worthless, and you'll see that by the end of the article. This message is brought to you by the Fearless Unicorn Cappers... Association... Well, WE thought it was a good name... Founded in 1889 by an intrepid group of explorers, we are determined to bring those damn bastard unicorns back into line. Unicorns should be pulling our grocery carts and milling our wheat... not milling our hearts. Remember our motto: We're Unicorn FUCAs. Hey, it's the best motto we could come up with on our budget.

It's not easy to kill a unicorn. From far away, and even from up close, unicorns are real pretty n' shit. But if you know unicorns like I don't, you would have a real problem with em. FUCA has been recruiting people to our cause for a century with a list of complaints we have against unicorns, a book of recipes, sex positions, a map of unicorn hideouts, and a list of reasons to hunt unicorns in the first place. (See more...)

Today's Random Biography
Rohe.jpg

Ludwig Mies "Vander" Rohe (German for Ludwig Evil Of The Brutality) (March 27, 1886 – August 17, 1969) was a German (or possibly Austrian) fellow who reinvented architecture in the early-to-mid-20th century by creating buildings that looked like big glass cereal boxes.

Rohe grew up in a small suburban town in the southwest of Germany (or possibly Denmark). His father, Emilio Rohe, is widely credited with inventing the elevator call button: before him, people had to shout what floor they wanted very loud and hope that someone already inside the elevator would come down to get them. His mother, Mikembe Rohe, died in a tragic blimp accident when Ludwig was three. As a result, Rohe was raised believing that he was pooped out by a pterodactyl on the Rohe family's front lawn, as is the customary child's tale in Germany (or possibly Belgium). (See more...)

Today's Random Picture
Trio.gif
This particular jazz trio was known for its unique harmonic choices and blatant disregard for civil liberties.
Image by The Hedgehog
Did You Know?
  • ... that a baby's heads is far too wide for a father's hips?
  • ... that in Poland, Polish jokes are just called jokes?
  • ... that the more you drink, the funnier things are?
  • ... that comedy was invented by God when he created the duck-billed platypus?
  • ... that comedians aren't your friends and don't really want to talk about their day?
  • ... that a priest, a rabbi and an imam would probably not go to a bar, much less together?
  • ... that Karl Marx is considered to be the father of Comedism?
  • ... that a group of two men or more is called a podcast?
Do It Yourself
Portal page directory

Uncyclopedia:Portals · Category:Uncyclopedia Portals

All Portal topics
Portal blurbs
Portal templates
Portal stylesheets
Portal source code examples

Here is the source code for the Platonic ideal of a portal page. For creating new portal pages, change portal-platonic to the name of your new portal topic, like portal-crabs. 

{{#css:Uncyclopedia:Portals/styles.css}}{{PortalNav}}
<div class="portal-container portal-platonic">
<!-- INTRO -->
<div class="portal-row portal-panel">
<div class="portal-panel-header">{{Portal header|Platonic Portal}}</div>
<div class="portal-panel-content">{{/Intro}}</div>
</div>
<!-- HIGHLIGHTS -->
<div class="portal-row portal-highlights">
<!-- HIGHLIGHTS COLUMN 1 -->
<div class="portal-highlights-column">
<div class="portal-panel portal-blurb">
<div class="portal-panel-header">{{Portal header|Featured Article|Selected Articles}}</div>
<div class="portal-panel-content">{{/Selected Articles}}</div>
</div>
</div>
<!-- HIGHLIGHTS COLUMN 2 -->
<div class="portal-highlights-column">
<div class="portal-panel portal-blurb">
<div class="portal-panel-header">{{Portal header|Featured Image|Selected Pictures}}</div>
<div class="portal-panel-content">{{/Selected Pictures}}</div>
</div>
<div class="portal-panel">
<div class="portal-panel-header">{{Portal header|Did You Know?|Did You Know}}</div>
<div class="portal-panel-content">{{PortalDYK|Portal:Platonic/Did You Know|6}}</div> <!-- Make sure to change Portal:Platonic to correct topic name -->
</div>
</div>
</div>
<!-- BOTTOM ROWS -->
<div class="portal-row portal-panel">
<div class="portal-panel-header">More Portals</div>
<div class="portal-panel-content">{{Topics}}</div>
</div>
</div>
[[Category:Uncyclopedia Portals]]

Here is the example code for an "article blurb" subpage, used in Portal article blurbs, Portal biographical blurbs and so on. 

<noinclude><gallery>
File:Article1.jpg|[[Article1]]
File:Article2.jpg|[[Article2]]
</gallery></noinclude>
<includeonly><choose>
<option>{{Selected article
|article = Article1
|image = Article1.jpg
|author =
|summary =
}}</option>
<option>{{Selected article
|article = Article2
|image = Article2.jpg
|author =
|summary =
}}</option>
</choose></includeonly><noinclude>
[[Category:Portal article blurbs]] <!-- Other category names: [[Category:Portal biographical blurbs]], [[Category:Portal featurette blurbs]], [[Category:Portal news blurbs]] -->
</noinclude>

Here is the example code for a "picture blurb" subpage, used in Portal picture blurbs. 

<noinclude><gallery>
File:Picture1.png
File:Picture2.png
</gallery></noinclude>
<includeonly><choose>
<option>{{Selected picture
|image = Picture1.png
|credit = 
|caption = 
}}</option>
<option>{{Selected picture
|image = Picture2.png
|credit = 
|caption = 
}}</option>
</choose></includeonly><noinclude>
[[Category:Portal picture blurbs]]
</noinclude>

Here is the example code for a "DYK page", used in Portal DYK blurbs. Note that rather than transcluding the subpage directly, portal pages use {{PortalDYK}} to extract bulleted list items from a specified subpage. 

<!-- 
DYK entries should look like this:

*... that blah blah blah blah blah?

NOTE: Templates will show up as raw text instead of the actual template. That means no {{SP}} or {{noun}} or anything other than standard wikitext. Sorry!
  -->
<noinclude><h2>Full DYK list</h2></noinclude>
*... that [[example]] one?
*... that example ''two''?
*... that example '''''three'''''?
<noinclude>[[Category:Portal DYK blurbs]]</noinclude>
More Portals
Portals complement topics that nobody cares about and expand upon topics that everybody cares even less about.
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