Portal:Media

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Media portal
Just in case you haven't experienced Ad Nauseum yet.
We, the members of the Society of Professional Journalists believe that the public does not know shit and we want it to stay that way. Greed and the quest for profit is the cornerstone of democracy and "justice" is only what we imply it is. The duty of the journalist is to further those ends by presenting biased and/or poorly researched accounts of events and trends. And if a journalist can save some time and money by plagiarizing then hey, that is cool too. Professional integrity is highly discouraged.
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These whore-beasts and degenerate bastards of the media think they can give the shaft to the public... well they're right, the public is a brainless void of thieves and pimps. 
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Highlighted Article

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Baleog, Erik, and Olaf
The Lost Vikings are a group of sports newscasters who were once under the employment of Blizzard Sports News. Consisting of Erik "The Swift" Ronnson, Olaf "The Stout" Starke, and Baleog "The Fierce" Gundersenn, the three worked together effectively to bring the world amusing coverage of many sports topics. Although they delivered their stories with great skill, humour, and an amazing neutrality, they are perhaps more known by their video game appearance, as well as the Super Bowl half-time commercial that inspired it. Both of these featured the newscasters in stereotypical Viking garb attempting to traverse multiple obstacles, all the while making "witty" quips and subtle jabs at one another. As a minor note, they also carry the dubious distinction of being the only sports figures parodying a civilization of one sort or another that have not yet been targeted by multiple lawsuits.

Anchors

Although there are generally only the three above-mentioned anchors within the group of Vikings at any time, a couple of other faces have shown up.

Olaf "The Stout" Starke, defensive play expert, is generally the butt of many jokes by his two co-anchors, helped in no means by his large stature and poor hygiene.  (more...)

Article Credit: Kalir View All
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Media News

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Getting bombarded with advertising everywhere you go can be quite tiresome, and can cause massive headaches.

AMERICA, USA The approach of Christmas, the Christian holiday honoring shopping at Wal Mart and building impressive Neon displays in your backyard (though some claim it's about the birth of Christ--clearly they have no idea what Christmas is really about) has brought about a violent wave of advertisements in all aspects of the media. Of course, getting bothered by this new wave of advertisements can be easily avoided by downloading the latest version of Norton Antivirus easy to install and complete with pop-ups detailing unimportant "updates" that pop up in your browser almost as often as spam!

But the new wave of advertising isn't just being seen on the internet (the internet where you can now download FREE PORN faster than ever at www.CUNTCUNTYCUNTCUNTCUNT.com /malware/94949399330404/FUCK /95949949393003/spyware=enabled /.html.php!!!!!!).

Advertisements are surfacing everywhere in American culture, from product placement in television programs (such as Grey's Anatomy--new episode this Thursday! Don't miss it!)…  (more...)

Article Credit: THE View All
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Big Business
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UNCYCLOPEDIA CABLE PROGRAMMING
  2 -  FOX
  3 -  CBS
  π -  DuMont
  4 -  ABC
  5 -  NBC
  6 -  PBS
  7 -  The CW
  9 -  Nine Network
10 -  QVC
11 -  Bravo
12 -  ESPN
13 -  UK HC
14 -  ITV
15 -  USA Network
17 -  Lifetime
20 -  UPN
21 -  CBC
24 -  Discovery
25 -  MTV
27 -  Nick
41 -  BET
55 -  TechTV
57 -  Cartoon Network / Adult Swim
61 -  CNN
67 -  EWTN
75 -  TBC
76 -  PAX
78 -  G4
79 -  BBC
81 -  HBO
216- GB News

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