Portal:Media

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Media portal
Just in case you haven't experienced Ad Nauseum yet.
We, the members of the Society of Professional Journalists believe that the public does not know shit and we want it to stay that way. Greed and the quest for profit is the cornerstone of democracy and "justice" is only what we imply it is. The duty of the journalist is to further those ends by presenting biased and/or poorly researched accounts of events and trends. And if a journalist can save some time and money by plagiarizing then hey, that is cool too. Professional integrity is highly discouraged.
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These whore-beasts and degenerate bastards of the media think they can give the shaft to the public... well they're right, the public is a brainless void of thieves and pimps. 
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Highlighted Article

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The undisputed champion.
The Reich thanks you for tuning in to this special broadcast of the Nineteen Thirty-Six Nuremberg Rally! All the beer and sausages in Bavaria can't keep you from this great sport, we know. The proud sponsors of this unequalled event, Otto Eberhardt, Fokker, and of course Schuberth Helme GmbH, wish to formally convey their joy in being associated with such an occasion. It's Day Two. Let's join the action!
Cquote1.svgLadies and gentlemen, this is your favorite official commentator, Irvine Lindenberg. Wow, have we got a race for you! It's a bit back from the front, where Mister Goring is off at his usual insurmountable lead, for fifth position. Yes, it's Erich von dem Bach in his trademark SS uniform, duking it out with Rudolph Hess. Look at those eyebrows! You could hide an entire armoured division in there! Hess is in a 1933 MechlebahnSchtop Roadster, 277 horsepower but prone to sudden breakdown; von dem Bach is suffering, you can clearly see it, under the weight of his two iron crosses as he sits uncomfortably at the wheel of his Überbungdenführer SA 18, manufactured in 1934. It’s been back and forth as they burst through this last stretch to a High Command-approved watering hole somewhere in Bavaria. The location has been classified as the leadership wishes for it not to become polluted by undesirable elements of our great society. Let's watch this tremendous, entertaining battle for a while, shall we ... Cquote2.svg
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Article Credit: Shandon View All
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Media News

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Getting bombarded with advertising everywhere you go can be quite tiresome, and can cause massive headaches.

AMERICA, USA The approach of Christmas, the Christian holiday honoring shopping at Wal Mart and building impressive Neon displays in your backyard (though some claim it's about the birth of Christ--clearly they have no idea what Christmas is really about) has brought about a violent wave of advertisements in all aspects of the media. Of course, getting bothered by this new wave of advertisements can be easily avoided by downloading the latest version of Norton Antivirus easy to install and complete with pop-ups detailing unimportant "updates" that pop up in your browser almost as often as spam!

But the new wave of advertising isn't just being seen on the internet (the internet where you can now download FREE PORN faster than ever at www.CUNTCUNTYCUNTCUNTCUNT.com /malware/94949399330404/FUCK /95949949393003/spyware=enabled /.html.php!!!!!!).

Advertisements are surfacing everywhere in American culture, from product placement in television programs (such as Grey's Anatomy--new episode this Thursday! Don't miss it!)… (more...)

Article Credit: THE View All
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Big Business
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UNCYCLOPEDIA CABLE PROGRAMMING
  2 -  FOX
  3 -  CBS
  π -  DuMont
  4 -  ABC
  5 -  NBC
  6 -  PBS
  7 -  The CW
  9 -  Nine Network
10 -  QVC
11 -  Bravo
12 -  ESPN
13 -  UK HC
14 -  ITV
15 -  USA Network
17 -  Lifetime
20 -  UPN
21 -  CBC
24 -  Discovery
25 -  MTV
27 -  Nick
41 -  BET
55 -  TechTV
57 -  Cartoon Network / Adult Swim
61 -  CNN
67 -  EWTN
75 -  TBC
76 -  PAX
78 -  G4
79 -  BBC
81 -  HBO

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