Mac OS X Lion

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Mufasa, Apple's mascot for the box cover. it took him 13 failed auditions and a trip to the Wizard Of Oz to get this far

Mac OS X Lion (version 10.7; marketed as OS X Lion) is said to be collaboration project with Soviet Russia to conquer the iEarth

It is so far, in the development stage. it took Steve Jobs over 9000 views to finally get a so-called nickname for the project, Lion. It is rumored to be code-named Mufasa, as he had a fetish for the Lion King. Steve Jobs claims it's was a mixup while developing a Software Outdate for their legendary iPad, and instead converted their iPad to a iSlate, just like the iPhone and iPod touch was either converted to an iRock, an iBrick, or an iPaperweight. he then realized he tried to load Mac OS X in their iDevices and came up with the brilliant idea of OS X 10.7 a.k.a "Lion", a.k.a "Mufasa"


Apple has confirmed several pretty useless intuitive, new-fangled, never-before-seen features:

  • Multi-Touch gestures - Before, Macs were silent victims, unless it was one of those old school Beige Macs like Communist China had. now don't get surprised if your MacBook's multi-touchpad or Magic Mouse attacks you! Don't piss it off!
  • Support for multiple cores - now ALL of your processor cores can get maxed out, hell you won't even notice, unless you have a Hackintoshed PC using an AMD Processor
  • Guaranteed to crash different, as Steve Jobs promised several years ago
  • Returns the famous bomb error......WTF! *boom*
  • Ability to use every single byte of your Mac's hard drive, so no space for you!
  • Introduces the ability to rewind optical discs!
  • Is rumored to contain Steve Job's private files if your serial key ends in H0L1ESH17
  • Is rumored to work on standard Beige Box PC's with no additional hacking required
  • Adds the full movie of The Lion King in your Movies folder as an optional install
  • Native iPhone/iPod/iPad Jailbreaking
  • A more realistic Time Machine experience. It is said that they will ship you a DeLorean Time Machine if Time Machine has been activated
  • Full support for HD porn and hentai
Now compatible with non-apple PC's, and your ass (via memory stick)

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Mac OS X Lion.

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Launchpad[edit]

It's a stone Luigi, you didn't make it.

Mario on Launchpad

Now users have the ability to launch whatever they feel like launching. great, isn't it. like that time that kid broke your iPod. he probably was a developer anyway. with the built-in Launchpad store, users can select from a wide variety of their favorite weapons, including, but not limited to LOLBOMBS, ROFLCOPTERS, and even LOL Wut Pears

Features

  • Hotkeys to launch favorite weapons
  • Adds a useless red button that no user can press or click on. it is rumored to make all opponent base belong to you if properly patched. tempting, isn't it?
  • Will make you feel like the President Of The United States

-And Much Much more...

Mission Control[edit]

I Can Has Cheezburger?

Kitteh on Mission Control

Great! I Can't Wait To Bomb The King!

Ganon on Mission Control

LOL Wut

Pear on Mission Control

We can now do the same thing we do every night, Pinky—try to take over the world! But for real

Brain on Mission Control

Another pretty useless tool unless you live in Soviet Russia, Communist China, and/or Nazi Germany, or unless you're a n00b. it is said to be a digital alternative to declare war, overriding Launchpad. it is Nuclear War capable, according to UNIX (United Nuclear International Xpreience).

FaceTime[edit]

It's sort of like this, unfortunately, without all those cool effects.

Even though it will be available for owners of a Snow Leopard, it will be included in Mufasa a.k.a Lion. Now FaceTime from an iPhone 4 or the iPod Touch 4th gen is possible on your Mac. unfortunately, it will not work if your face is other than a human being. so no, you may not pretend to be Barack Obama. besides, it's about showing your face. it has been confirmed that if you have FaceBook and FaceTime simultaneously running, you can unlock all premium features for free, instead of $12,000.

Auto Save[edit]

You Saved Me!

King Of Hyrule on Autosave

As an effort to make Apple look more heroic, they introduced AutoSave. it does void Apple's earlier products, iSuicide, iNuke, and iDivideByZero.

App Store[edit]

Remember this?

This is a result of Steve Job's mishap, and is said to convert your Mac notebook into a giant iPad. not much info is available as Steve Jobs still hasn't got the balls to come out of the closet.

See Also[edit]

External Links[edit]