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“I have the need-the need for speed!”

~ Tom Cruise on Xubuntu
The xubuntu logo is a rat in a washing machine.

Xubuntu is a computer operating system based on the Linux kernel, and is a derivative of the Ubuntu Linux distribution. Xubuntu is more frequently used for people that hate themselves so much that even Ubuntu isn't an option. It is also commonly used by dirty sweat-pants wearing thrift store shopping poor people who can't afford a computer that can run a legitimate operating system, and people who don't like KDE, GNOME or the bash shell, even when Xfce is really just GNOME on crack. But, hey, it's the good kind of crack, so no foul there.

Creation[edit | edit source]

Xubuntu was released alongside Ubuntu, Kubuntu, Edubuntu and Whatthefuckarewegoingtocallthenextfuckingbuntu version 6.06, codenamed 'Dykeish Drake'. While some had complaints about its colour scheme being to close to Kubuntu's, most where seduced by the the self-satisfaction of being a "Windows-hating-loner" and a "douchebag."

On the Server[edit | edit source]


~ RMS on Xubuntu's speed when used as a server, even with a GUI

Xubuntu is googling fast when run as a server, even with a GUI. Mark Shuttleworth recently won the right to throw a pie in the face of RMS at the 2006 OScon, due to a bet that a non-graphical Debian GNU/Linux server (the only 'real' Linux in RMS's eyes) would perform faster.

Future[edit | edit source]

The next Xubuntu release, codenamed 'E-Sexy Efe' is coming in June. It promises the following features:

  • A genuine copy of Xfce, not a cheap Chinese knock-off like this time.
  • An index to the manual
  • A guide to the manual
Note: The manual will not be implemented till Horny Hedgehog. Horny Hedgehog VII.
  • But not counting crack as a drug.
  • Well, something has to make the mouse run around the fucking wheel!
  • Even more speed tweaks. An AMD 64 4000+ will reach Mach 26 even when running Openoffice.org!
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