Fibonacci Sequence
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“1 5 34 12 INFINITY!!”
The Fibonacci Sequence is one of the most important mathematical concepts ever conceived. It has led to such things as nuclear weapons, tearing holes in the space-time continuum (as all not yet fully realized mathematical theorems inevitably do), and the destruction of the universe. Ironically, such a powerful concept originated from the lowliest of origins.
The Lowliest of Origins[edit | edit source]
The Fibonacci Sequence was invented by Fibonacci, a 9-year-old who was mathematically-illiterate. He one day was kidnapped by Michael Jackson who told him to count to ten or he would die. Fibonacci, with his IQ of 50, tried as best as he could, but failed terribly. Michael Jackson, however, realized the power of the sequence that Fibonacci unwittingly uttered, and he traveled back in time to give it to Einstein who used it to create the first atomic bomb.
This lead to Arnold Schwarzesneichznelfuffvlin to appear in time through a wormhole, murder Einstein before his invention was patented and ensure that said toddler drowned in a pool of his own mucus. The other side, however, had struck a deal with Einstein earlier on. Knowing that he would die (from inside information provided by the other side), Einstein sought to clone himself, preserving the duplicate in cryostasis. Einstein was then murdered by the terminator, as was correctly foretold by the prophecy, and toddler was drowned, etc., but! The terminator departed the world through melting itself, and Einstein awoke years later, retaining the former memories of his intention to build the atomic bomb. However, it was eventually discovered, by the time he'd finally left Germany and made it to America to commence his work, the manhattan project was already underway. Furious, Einstein immediately set out to discredit the SECRET TOTALLY UNDER WRAPS GOVERNMENT OPERATION. Eventually he became so depressed at his non-success in this endeavor that he sniffed some crack at the 5:00 crack give-a-way one day, and in a spout of energy, invented general and special relativity theorems. He then slacked off at work for several years, pretending to 'refine' his work on napkins as part of a greater cover up to maximize his profits and release his two theorems years apart from each other.
All this fucking with time had really begotten the mind of some OTHER dude who happened to go by the name of Fibonacci some time ago. Fibonacci was rather childish and often lambasted for his lack of discipline in mathematics (Ironic? Read further!). The man was in his 30s. Calling in sick from work as a result of depression induced emo-ness over the 'system controlling mathematics n'shit maaaaan'... Fibonacci thought to himself 'Hey, it'd be so FUCKING funny if I invented a system of counting that involved adding numbers one after the other from each previous number following. *scribble* Call it a sequence, yah that's it. Hey it makes sense for geometry too, it's all numbers what do they care when they're through fussing over my new sequence. Man this is awesome, and its 'logical' too, like I said it's all numbers. Hell, they'll even probably invent a new formula to justify my sequencing too! What stupid fucking losers! I'm famous now Richy! I'm gonna steal yo wife! Nuttin' you can do 'bout that!'
Fibonacci has remained famous for just under 800 years because of this spin for the better. Proof that it really is possible to be incredibly successful through being a douche.
The Sequence[edit | edit source]
The sequence proceeds as thus: 1 ballsack, 1 ballsack, 2 ballsacks, 3ballsacks, 5ballsacks, 8ballsacks...etc
Controversy[edit | edit source]
There has been much controversy and debate over the sequence, mostly by the GREAT French people. However, such notable figures as Dave Chappelle have been known to engage in the debates as well. IT IS TAKING OVER THE WORLD. IT IS EVERYWHERE. IF WE DO NOT STOP IT WE WILL ALL BECOME CIRCLES.
The Extra "1"[edit | edit source]
It is often debated whether the extra 1 should be part of the Fibonacci Sequence. Many scholars find it hard to believe that Fibonacci, with his life on the line, would make such a simple mistake as counting 1 twice. Others believe that Fibonacci merely stuttered, and that Michael Jackson chose to keep the 1. In any case, it has become a fundamental part of the sequence, and nuclear weaponry would be impossible without it.
Infinity[edit | edit source]
Infinity also is an integral part of the sequence. Just how it got in there is uncertain. It is likely that it is there because of another slip of the tongue on the part of Fibonacci; it may be the case that the number is there because halfway through, Michael Jackson spotted a nickel on the ground and bent over to pick it up, knocking over Fibonacci while he was saying "8" causing the number to flip over on its side. Should the sequence have been continued normally, it is certain that it would have been much more powerful. However, the fact that the sequence has such an enormous jump to infinity has been used in such contexts as destroying space-time and as a pretext for evil super-villains.
Golden Ratio[edit | edit source]
Dividing the final ballsack by the penultimate ballsack leads to finding the plate of gold at the end of the sequence called the Golden Ratio. The ancient greeks and Leonardo da Vinci liked this idea and used it in their constructions a lot, so it makes it very magical indeed.
See Also[edit | edit source]
1. Mathematics
1. Annihilation
2. Nihilism
5. Math
8. Infinity
INFINITY. 1