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Welcome to Unsantapedia,

the sugar-free encyclopedia that any jolly soul can edit.
38,620 articles in English

From today's featured article [Feature an article]

Written in 1985 by Chris Van Allsburg, Polar (s)Express: Hot Chocolate is the story of a magical, North Pole bound vehicle that trolls suburban neighborhoods at night, enticing children with promises of meeting Santa Claus and "Hot Chocolate." It won all sorts of awards I can't be bothered to name right now, and was turned into a mediocre CGI movie in 2004.

Mr. Allsburg is still at large for his horrible crimes. (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that Pigpen had a collection of over 200 various skin diseases during his childhood? (Pictured)

... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
... that hitting your kids may be beneficial to their health, or at the very least amusing to you?
...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special?
... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
... that the world will beat a path to your door if you build a better Mousetrap?
... that individuals born under the sign of Gemini are often flammable and vulnerable to bear attacks?
... that anyone who dies at Disneyland receives a free lifetime pass?

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In the news [edit]

"It ah-wasn't ah-me!"

Panama Canal faces ominous threats from both global warming and Donald Trump
Google reveals least popular searches of 2024
Jay-Z and Beyonce sit their children down and have a talk with them
Luigi arraigned for gunning down health insurance CEO; (Pictured) pleads not guilty
South Korea's president tries to order pizza, declares martial law instead
Biden pardons Princess Peach and Blossom
- ... and Hunter... and Fauci...
- Special Counsel Jack Smith pardons President-elect turkey, meaning he gets away with January 6th
Cicely Tyson demolishes Aaron Paul in Netflix "boxing" match
Project 2025 to be implemented in 2026, riots ensue
The Onion buys InfoWars. Extra true conspiracy theories coming soon!
- "Nope!" says, judge
Epstein pal Trump picks sex pest pedophile as attorney general... only for him to pull out
Trump picks Led Zeppelin to lead EPA
Obama smears poop on daycare
Kardashian and Aniston endorse bestiality
UnNews publishes official 2024 post-election guide for liberals having to deal with Trump

Ongoing: Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel-Hamas conflict • United States presidential election aftermath • NBA and NHL seasons • Athletes doing the "Trump Dance" • Bill Belichick going insane
Recent deaths: Rickey Henderson • Brian Thompson (United Healthcare CEO) • Democrat party • Diddy's career • The Eras Tour • Alabama football's championship bid • The white guy from The Mod Squad
Upcoming deaths: Vladimir Putin • Bashar al-Assad • Diddy's freedom • Benjamin Netanyahu • Jay-Z's career and freedom• Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Aaron Rodgers' career

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On this day [edit]

December 26: Packaging Day/ Useless office memorandum day / The one day women poop. It smells like roses. International Go to the Pub all afternoon and Have a row with the Missus Day

The 3rd day of creation - God creates the useless memorandum
0 - Rudolph catches everlasting cold after night out, condemned to permanent red nose.
17 - Jesus recovers from a "wicked birthday hangover" and cleans up the house before his parents get home.
35 - Stephen the Protomartyr gets stoned off his ass.
931 - Good King Wenceslas looked out, on the Feast of Stephen; when the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even;
2002 - Last recorded Vowel movement for God. In an indirect response to this anniversary, God decides to take out His frustration on His rich children every year after-wizard.
2003 - Devastating spongecake in Ham because they owned too many fairy cakes, and Bob makes them play.
2004 - Realising he has nothing to bitch about Bob Geldoff creates devastating Tsunami.
2004 - Devastating toffee in Southeast Asia because they owned too many fudges, and Bob makes them play.
2004 - The idea for Deal or No Deal created on Boxing Day after Noel Edmonds was trapped in a box, the producer of the show opening it and gasping, before thinking 'hey, why don't we do that with something valuable in the boxes?'
2005 - Devastating jam tarts in Central America because they owned too many biscuits, and Bob makes them play.
2006 - Devastating shelves falling over in Iceland because they owned too many products, and some hooligans tipped them over.
2007 - Mars destroyed during the War of the Worlds, because there were too many martians and God ran out of ways to make them pay, but the bacteria killed them.
2008 - Mars destroyed bacause the Bible has no recorded evidence of Martians, and God makes it pay.
2009 - Devastating red hole wipes out universe, and God makes no two pay.
2010 - Devastating white hole wipes out red hole, and God makes no one pay.
2011 - Devastating white hole wipes out God, leaving no one to make no one pay.
6325 - Despite the discovery of the lost pelvis of Richard Belzer, our world still sucks.

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The pill for what ails our administrators.

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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 38,620 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.