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The Finno-Korean Hyperwar, also known as the Hwan-Suomi Hyperwar, was an ancient war between the two most powerful empires in the world at the time. The Proto-Finnic Holy Roman Khaganate faced off against the Hwan Empire in a cataclysmic conflict that crashed the world with almost no remnants of humanity. Few groups survived the war, which claimed both the Proto-Finnic Khaganate and the Hwan Empire. It is well known for bringing the end of the Hyper Era and tossing the world into a "dark age". The war was fought from 12,245 to 12,172 BC. It is commonly debated how great of a role the secondary powers (such as the autistic dogsled-riding Yupik Eskimos) played in the war, as it is suggested that important powers like the Armenian Pipe Smoking Autocrats, the Norf-Zogs and Egyptian technocracies allied with the Hwan to stop the Finnish alongside the Pre-Irish Holy Jihadists and Neo-Swiss Banking Fanatics. The war is usually said to have begun with the Hwan invasion of Finnish India and ended with a mutual exchange of experimental Hyperspace missile strikes that caused levels of manmade destruction unparalleled across the known multiverse. To this day all Hyperspace travel and communication is impossible due to the emergent Hyperstorm. Both empires rapidly collapsed and were not seen again for nearly a dozen millennia. Whilst the Hwan are considered to have been technically victorious Followed by the outbreak of autism by the last emperor of the Hwan Empire, neither empire lasted long and humanity reverted back to cave dwelling and beleiving in religion again. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that Margaret Thatcher (Pictured) died thirty years too late?
- ...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special?
- ... that Abraham Lincoln was an accomplished skateboarder?
- ... that the lawman/outlaw Wild Bill Hickok had one of the most celebrated mustaches in the Wild West?
- ... that on 17 June 2007, Britain was mercilessly hit by an attack of 'falling water'?
- ... that the only way to survive a massive nuclear blast is to crouch underneath your desk?
- ...that I get knocked down, but I get up again, and you're never gonna keep me down?
- ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation?
In the news
- Steve's Lava Chicken shut down due to health code violations (Pictured)
- BREAKING: Wayne Gretzky's all-time regular season goal record broken by Putin's Instagram buddyboo
- Donald Trump receives prestigious award from Greenpeace
- Kid (and ball) escape narrow car crash
- Robert F. Kennedy Jr. engulfs every panda bear in existence
- Kardashian and Ye do washed up things
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- Heinz Doofenshmirtz finally takes full control over the Tri-State Area
- UnNews remembers Michelle Trachtenberg
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Hollow Knight: Silksong, and Deltarune Chapter 3 • Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel‑Hamas conflict • ICE rounding up illegal immigrants • Taylor Swift's very unlucky, no good year • DOGE firings and budget cuts • Deaths from Myanmar earthquake • Tornadoes shredding the American South • Post-apocalyptic streaming movies starring Stranger Things actors • Disney fans re-watching the original Snow White to forget the remake
Recent deaths: Meghan Markle's Netflix show • The Electric State • Kurt from Good Burger • George Foreman • 23andMe • Snow Broke and the 9-figure loss for Disney • Bruce Glover • Richard Chamberlain • Roger Daltrey's eyesight and hearing • Val Kilmer • Yoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedom • Stock market • Jay North (TV's Dennis the Menace, would have acted in slasher film Leap Year)
Upcoming deaths: US Economy • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Laura Palmer • DEI, for better or for worse • Pope Francis • Meghan Markle's remaining likeability • Your March Madness bracket and bank account • Tornado Alley • Somebody from The Rugrats Movie
On this day
- 33 AD - Jesus Christ arrives in Jerusalem on the back of a humble velociraptor. (Pictured)
- 1078 - The first ever Battle of Hastings re-enactment is fought, Normans complain about historically inaccurate armor.
- 1544 - Queen Elizabeth I starts her famous celebrity gossip column in The Times of London.
- 1906 - Mt. Vesuvius erupts due to a bout of tectonic indigestion, kindly Italian grandmas douse the volcano with olive oil.
- 1940 - Booker T. Washington becomes the first African-American to be featured in a postage stamp, racists unsure how to mail their letters of complaint.
- 1948 - The World Health Organization is created by the UN, to act as the inept organization in movies that fails to stop the zombie apocalypse.
Picture of the day
DJ Beathoven was one of the early pioneers of dubstep. He is known for the unique wubwubwubwubwubwubwubwub sound of his music. Image credit: Zombiebaron |
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