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From today's featured article 

Antonio Brown.jpg

Antonio Travis Scott Brown, Sr. , also known as AB or Mr. Man Tits, is the greatest receiver of all time and rapper, and dancer, and masked singer. Don't like it, I suuuue you. The franchise face of the Pittsburgh Steelers starting in 2010, he saved it by his hard work and is the greatest receiver of all time. You hear me? Of ALL TIME! He is from the Pit, not the palace, and made the Pit what it became known for. Big Ben is a meany poopyhead and so is Coach Tomlin.

He's the most humble man on the ...

Alright, cut. Antonio! You know we're not supposed to write a biased article for you, right? And are you sure you want me to write in that amateur tone?

"I gotta whooole lotta money! Who you think you are? You don't make me look good on Weeniepedia Imma sue yo ass!" (Full article...)

Did you know... 

Kilroy was here.gif
  • ... that Kilroy was here? (Pictured)
  • ... that this is why we can't have nice things?
  • ... that there is a simple, easy solution to the fact that you cannot understand the foreigners who are sitting next to you?
  • ...that I get knocked down, but I get up again, and you're never gonna keep me down?
  • ... that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, the sister drug to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, is very effective against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis?
  • ... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
  • ... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
  • ... that in Spanish, "chinga tu madre" means "have a nice day"? Tell your friends!

In the news 

OSU Ryan Day championship trophy.jpg
only in ohio


Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI • Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel–Hamas conflict • ICE actually doing their job and rounding up illegal immigrants

Recent deaths: Greg Gumbel • Jimmy Carter • Liberal Party of Canada • Aaron Rodgers' career • Jean-Marie Le Pen • Peter Yarrow • Anita Bryant • Yoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedom • David Lynch • Bob Uecker • Dame Joan Plowright

Upcoming deaths: TikTok, for real this time • The Philadelphia Eagles Super Bowl win hopes • Bashar al-Assad • Diddy's freedom • Jay‑Z's career and freedom • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Your New Year's resolutions • Los Angeles • Israel–Hamas conflict • Laura Palmer • DEI, for better or for worse

On this day 

Take a chill pill, brah

January 31: National Ice Cream Day

  • 201 AD - Ice cream is invented in Rome, but it quickly melts due to the lack of refrigerators, everyone is forced to slurp it.
  • 1804 - French explorers with sensitive teeth steal the secrets of refrigeration from a tribe in north Africa, who they smear as filthy savages.
  • 1819 - Heinrich Zoller creates a means to produce dots from ice cream, his recipe is later stolen by Samuel Dippin, who patents his invention and sells it inside malls.
  • 1928 - Stalin re-invents ice cream and names it Stalin Cream, USSR rejoices but the American scum looses there underwear.
  • 1979 - Ben and Jerry's "Popped Cherry" flavor ice cream is an initial hit with the young male demo, but sales ends in disappointment.
  • 1991 - Dunkin' Donuts loses a hedge-trimming contest to Dairy Queen.
  • 2000 - 88 lucky amusement park guests enjoyed the thrilling Alaska Roller Coaster Ride 261.
  • 2009 - After a nationwide cat infestation, Ben & Jerry's introduces new "Litter Crunch" flavor.
  • 2010 - James Cameron's ice cream based on the hit movie Avatar starts being sold, and somehow manages to sell even more than the movie itself.

Picture of the day

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