User:Willy on wheels/Main Page
From today's featured article
On Tuesday, September 11, 2001, a Special Unit of Osama Bin Laden's TerrorCo company (owned by Al-Qaeda); employed 19 people to supposedly fly four commercial passenger jet airliners into buildings, the Pentagon and farm land to accomplish one of the biggest life insurance scams, false-flag operations and inside jobs the world has ever seen. On that infamous day, a total of 2,997 people died – including the 19 terrorists – four planes became unusable, some skyscrapers fell like pancakes and a large swath of grass in Pennsylvania became littered with shrapnel and corpses. Worse than that, a thousand people's plane tickets suddenly became useless (there is little sign of refunds ever given) and millions of people were unable to fly. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... I burning your dog? (Pictured)
- ... that Boston Bruins goaltender Gerry Cheevers was one of the most feared hockey players in the so-called "stick to the groin" era?
- ... that this is why we can't have nice things?
- ... that Barns and Nobles is the most successful medieval farming roleplaying game, played by millions of teenage nerds worldwide?
- ... that the concept of Hell dates back to ancient Egyptians' fear of sand burning your feet?
- ... that telling someone you masturbated to their Facebook picture is frowned upon in society?
- ... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores?
- ... that a chicken-proof lawn is impeckable?
In the news
- Netanyahu and Khamenei get it on
- Trump joins in for threesome, blows load
- Khamenei fails to follow up after dirty talk, taps out
- Elon Musk breaks up with Trump
- Trump sends condolences to "Sly Stallone" (Pictured)
- Trump celebrates TACO Wednesday by reversing course on long-held campaign promise
- THE ROCKIES HAVE WON A SERIES!
- Hit videogame Deltarune about to be released tomorrow!!!
- New York Knicks throw tantrum, fire head coach for barely missing NBA Finals they would have lost anyways
- Elevation Worship's Chris Brown filling in for mainstream Chris Brown until further notice
- Taylor Swift buys back her masters
- "Real" Timothee Chalamet at 2024 look-alike contest actually Finn Wolfhard
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War • Trump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Aaron Rodgers finally signing with a team • Animal-related live-action remakes kicking Snow White's ass • Jaws 50th anniversary • Colorado Rockies game replacing Jaws airing • Israel/Iran peace talks
Recent deaths: Updates for Mortal Kombat 1 • Rick Derringer • New York Knicks' surprisingly kickass season and coach's tenure • Fear Street: Prom Queen • John Redcorn • Brian Grazer's career and livelihood, and anyone's respect for him • Sly Stallone Stone • Brian Wilson • Ariana Grande's Nonna • Canadian team's bid to win the Stanley Cup, again • PF4Eva's headphone cable
Upcoming deaths: DEI • Diddy's chance at freedom • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screen • New York Knicks' future success • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • Greta Thunberg? • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices
On this day
June 26: Onanism Day
- 1924 - American troops leave the Dominican Republic after drinking all of their rum and horchata.
- 1948 - In response to the Berlin Blockade, allied fighter planes drop cans of food to mock starving communists who don't have can openers.
- 1960 - Madagascar gains its independence from France after France discovers they still owned Madagascar.
- 1963 - John F. Kennedy accidentally declares his solidarity with the citizens of Berlin after trying to express his love for jelly donuts.
- 2000 - Pope John Paul II reveals the third secret of Fátima: "Be sure to drink your Ovaltine."
- 2002 - The exact day and year you should have resumed masturbating after 9/11.
- 2015 - The U.S. Supreme Court rules masturbation to be "totally straight and not gay at all, fuck you Kevin."
Picture of the day
St. Michael the Archangel attempts to slay Charles Darwin to prevent him from revealing Michael's horrible secret. Darwin, belonging to the fitter of the species, survived. Image credit: Isra1337 |
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