User:Willy on wheels/Main Page

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From today's featured article 

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Donald Fauntleroy Duck, also known in the underground adult film scene as Dinald Dick, is one of history's most polarising figures: a beloved, world-renowned slapstick comedian and actor, a World War II veteran, a war criminal and a turncoat, whose life has been defined by rage, betrayal, a perplexing lack of undergarments and an erratic temperament that resulted in a notorious Nuremberg trial acquittal, largely since none of the judges could decipher one word of his prima donna-esque testimony.

Declassified intelligence files indicate that Duck's true wartime activities remain shrouded in secrecy, stirring up speculation that his impact on twentieth century history had more to it than his corporate handlers at Disney would have ever admitted. (Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ... that Canadian baseball (Pictured) is a thing?
  • ... that recent advances in nanobiotechnology have led to advanced, implantable music players capable of holding up to three seconds of low-quality MP3 audio?
  • ... that nobody can describe what a simile is like?
  • ... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state?
  • ... that the road to hell is identical to the stairs to heaven, but with elevator music and traffic?
  • ... that Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle is Partly Visible?
  • ... that if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else?
  • ... that Ben Stiller's face makes everything funny?

In the news 

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Those poor bastards.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 2 and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • The New England Patriots barely beating crappy opponents • Mike Tomlin screwing the Pittsburgh Steelers • Giants fans hiding in a corner • Bears invading Tennessee

Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • Nick Mangold • Jamaica • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya Nakadai • Sally Kirkland • The penny • Udo Kier • Jimmy Cliff

Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song Contest • DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Chiefs Kingdom's livers and kidneys after realizing they will probably miss the playoffs • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • The MetroCard

On this day 

LIFE® is a trademark of the Quaker Oats Company: Fake Quakers, Real Oats!™

December 5: Unwanted Advertising Day (U.S.)

Picture of the day

The Jean Pool
 Experts advise against chlorinating the jean pool, as it causes the dye to bleed, and acid-washed jeans haven't been cool since '86.

Image credit: RadicalX
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