User:Willy on wheels/Main Page

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From today's featured article 

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A Civil War is a form of warfare known for its kindness and civility, in stark contrast to the other tactics such as scorched earth which are entirely too dirty for upstanding gentlemen. Civil warfare is a strategy that has outlasted many minor fads in warfare such as Germany's Blitzkrieg Bop, the British Redcoat's Stand In a Line and Shoot or the French Foreign Legion's Surrender. Its longevity as a tactic can probably be attributed to a few things, namely the incompetence of modern military tacticians compared to those of the past and the universal human need for cordial smiles and small talk, even during battle.

Civil wars are defined by a few chief characteristics. The Blitzkrieg Bop, for instance, was famous for its angular guitar rhythms and use of armor and dive-bombers to spearhead a motorized assault straight through the heart of an opposing force. Civil War, however, is based on these precepts: (Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ... that 'wax-on, wax-off' doesn't help teach kids karate, but just gets your cars waxed, free of charge?
  • ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
  • ... that Richard Nixon was well-known for his honesty and often referred to as Honest Dick?
  • ... that in the Mesozoic Era, toasters ruled the earth?
  • ... that Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is the world's most intelligent and fastest-growing religion?
  • ... that if you poke a whale in the tummy it will giggle like a schoolgirl?
  • ... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores?

In the news 

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1977-2026

Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • Winter Olympics • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over

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Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews

Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce • the US government, again

On this day 

Start with the Greeks they said...

February 18: Penis Day (Tonga)

Picture of the day

Colossus of Barbie
 One of the seven wonders of the pre-feminist movement, the Colossus of Barbie stands as a silent sentinel, ever-watching, over Toydom's "Valley of the Dolls."

In an ode to its majesty, Percy Bysshe Shelley declared:

That all the world remains, to seem, unchanged,
Her triumph o'er the rivers, wrath, and range,
Of her immortal gaze, fixed cold with steel,
I dare not but apease her wealth with meal.
But, yet, Man has not seen her to the test;
What's more, pity I couldn't bugger her like all the rest.

This is evidence that when the monument was built, people were of the belief that God was indeed a woman. Take that, Benedict XVI!
Image credit: Prettiestpretty
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