Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/Press Room/13

New idea- reasons to leave Uncyc

Another reason to leave Uncyc: Uncyclopedia is owned by Wikia. |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Giratina CUN|IC Kill | 09:51, 23 June 2009 (UTC)

Definitely gotta have something about the deletion of the timeline

Definitely. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:55, 23 June 2009 (UTC)

Between that and the IP block thingy, this could end up being a bumper issue... --UU - natter 21:25, Jun 23

Well, there's always the fact that we killed Courtney Love. That definitely also deserves something. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 21:27, 23 June 2009 (UTC)

Oh, an an article got + 24.5 on VFH: UnBooks:Great Abridged Pop Songs by Hyperbole. --Mn-z 04:46, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

On an unrelated note, could we make the biopic about me? Please? Saberwolf116 21:03, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

This week's biopic is already written. Will it be you? Check it out on next thursday. Or so did UU say to me when I asked the same question (but, ahem, more politely. Check the last archive) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 21:23 June 24 '09 Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 21:23 June 24 '09

note: a good way to assure you do not get a bio in the signpost is to ask for a bio in the signpost. now clear off you buggers! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 13:00, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

On a completely unrelated note, if you need someone to deliver it this week Gerry, hit up my talkpage. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 17:22, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

TBH, the way things are, it looks like we may need someone to write it for us as well (unless Gerry does another of his last-minute genius works again). I'm just too stretched with work, RL and other stuff this week. Speaking of which, off I go again... --UU - natter 20:46, Jun 25

..and TYATU

This deserves one, too Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 17:26 June 25 '09

I love TYATU! It's SOOOOOO Cool! Now THAT'S on my report for JNNN TV Anda. |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Giratina CUN|IC Kill | 07:44, 29 June 2009 (UTC)

way late delivery

well, last week's issue still hasn't gone out, dudeman isn't around, and i can't edit dex's talk page. can anyone deliver? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 13:59, 30 June 2009 (UTC)

I've wanted to do this for ages! Where's the link to the issue and the people I need to deliver it to?    Orian57    Talk   14:00 30 June 2009

thanks 'rian! you'll probably burn yourself out and join what UU describes as 'the lifeless husks that line the roads of the wiki', but...thanks! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:01, 30 June 2009 (UTC)

late delivery, but not as late as last week, thank you very much!

ok, to be fair, i will announce the need for delivery here, which i think all of you brave souls fighting to deliver the signpost have on your watchlist. the issue is here; now, fight to the death!! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 16:07, 3 July 2009 (UTC)

Dibs. Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 18:31, 3 July 2009 (UTC)

And we have takeoff. It may take a bit to run through all of it, im on vacation and the internet connection im using is rather shoddy, and i have no idea where exactly its comming from. its only 3 edits/min instead of the usual 10 or 20, but it will be done soon enough. Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 18:45, 3 July 2009 (UTC)

on time delivery!

this week's issue is actually ready on thursday, thanks in large part to ape and dudeman; thanks again, guys! is anyone able to deliver said issue? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 19:45, 9 July 2009 (UTC)

Say what a where now? Oh, I remember now... Let me grease my grease nipples, and I will send it out Mr Cheevers... 9001(bot)  21:40, Jul 9

HEY GERRY!

Is there any way we can get this in the Post this week? I, personally find it quite funny, but my sense of humor is a bit odd. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 17:06, 13 July 2009 (UTC)

hmm...a story about the return of some sort of primate whose quantum mechanical properties cause it to exist only during certain conditions causing widespread hallucinations, and the proper way to address said primate? yea, could be a story in there. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 17:27, 13 July 2009 (UTC)

A full story? Cool. As long as more people can see that post, I would be happy. I think it is quite hilariously awkward. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 17:43, 13 July 2009 (UTC)

I would offer to write it, but I'm really unfunny at the moment. Need to get my groove back. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 17:44, 13 July 2009 (UTC)

depending upon what other stories are out there, it could be a full article, or an entry in the right-hand flannel. don't worry about your groove; you'll get it back! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 17:47, 13 July 2009 (UTC)

<insert obvious joke>I'll call Stella! LOLLOLLOL!!! </obvious joke> Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 18:32, 13 July 2009 (UTC)

delivery, again

okay, this week's issue is hot off the presses. would anyone care to make the rounds? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 19:49, 16 July 2009 (UTC)

Sure thing. Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 21:42, 16 July 2009 (UTC)

Job Application

Can I apply to become a paperbot? The current ones don't seem to like the job, and I might as well put my amazing whoring skills to good use. Don Puttano cHeDDs 03:52,17July,2009

That depends, are you a bot, or enjoy 100's of tedious edits of copy and pasting? Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 03:56, 17 July 2009 (UTC)

The second one. I know many people who will vouch for that. Don Puttano cHeDDs 14:14,17July,2009

well, we tend to use the paperbots when they're available, since it's quicker and all, but they tend to appear and disappear in waves, so if we ever find ourselves in need of a hand-delivery, you're on the list. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 14:20, 17 July 2009 (UTC)

I've got my spine, I've got my orange crush

So, how about something about how Uncyc is entering a post-colonial era? I'd do it but I can't think how to make it funny right now. -- melodramatic Ape (liberate) (Riot Porn) 21:26, 17 July 2009 (UTC)

HEY!

My talkpage is missing my July issues of UnSignpost! I paid good imaginary money for my subscription, you theives!!!

... also, the next edition might want to mention that I a) have returned from a hiatus of 3 months, b) am probably going to retire next monday, c) have made a forum topic about it, or d) none all of the above. Maybe. Sir Not A Good Username360 KUN 18:21, 21 July 2009 (UTC)

Include this as an infobox please

Fucked-Up Vanity Article of the Week

Dick The Clown - "Around the time Dick was 3, however, their mom had gained custody of Penis Clown, however, Dick was still stuck with their psychotic, pedophiliac father... On the plane, Dick was about to get both raped and killed by his father, but luckily, Dick jumped out before this could happen... One hilarious joke he told was about how he licked a guys penis so hard, that he ended ripping off the foreskin... Dick the Clown later visited the petting zoo, where he fucked all of the animals, because it was legal in that area... when some young boys came by him, and he took them into and empty shed to take pictures of them naked... went to his long-lost older brother. They then had hot sticky incest..."

-- melodramatic Ape (liberate) (Riot Porn) 16:52, 27 July 2009 (UTC)

that's really disturbing. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 17:37, 27 July 2009 (UTC)

Yes but the Unsign post does need more peadophillia. We always seem to avaoid the topic where as this tackles it head on in gritty realism.    Orian57    Talk   20:32 27 July 2009

See: Filial Piety, Addition Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 20:37, 27 July 2009 (UTC)

I think this is funny because of how fucked up it is. Especially the bit about how he licked a guys penis so hard, that he ended ripping off the foreskin. -- melodramatic Ape (liberate) (Riot Porn) 21:18, 27 July 2009 (UTC)

ape, i really don't want to see this in the unsignpost. some user's really weird, deeply disturbing clown pedophilia vanity hardly seems like it parallels our mission of bringing relevant uncyclopedia events to users in a searingly sarcastic and humorous way. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 18:46, 30 July 2009 (UTC)

Fair enough. It's your newspaper. -- melodramatic Ape (liberate) (Riot Porn) 19:14, 30 July 2009 (UTC)

it's really not, and that's why i'm afraid of making any kind of big decision, or even little ones. i just oversee it. thanks for understanding. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 19:22, 30 July 2009 (UTC)

If you need some idea

We could write an article on our continued efforts to take care of User:Gwax/Timeline rebuild. Take up the angle that we're changing time itself. If you ask nicely, I could even...write it... Just let me know. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 20:42, 27 July 2009 (UTC)

dearest mr. inator, it would give the humble unsignpost editors the greatest of pleasures if you would kindly do that thing you just said. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 21:33, 27 July 2009 (UTC)

Working on it. I'll try and finish it for you today. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 17:32, 29 July 2009 (UTC)

Alright, It's pretty much done. Let me know if it needs to be fixed/hacked up....Or you could just do it yourself, oh editor. Either way is fine with me. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 18:17, 29 July 2009 (UTC)

Also, should we perhaps mention the super-close vote tallys happening at WotM, and UotM? Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 18:18, 29 July 2009 (UTC)

perhaps indeed. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 14:22, 30 July 2009 (UTC)

Hey, mind having a new poll?

One that is asking if you are a fan of Freakazoid! (the show, not our barely decent article on him)... That poll would be of great interest to me. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 19:59, 28 July 2009 (UTC)

I vaguely remember the phrase: Freakazoid. Chimpanzee. -- melodramatic Ape (liberate) (Riot Porn) 18:59, 29 July 2009 (UTC)

ummm...how is this relevnat to uncyclopedia? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 14:21, 30 July 2009 (UTC)

It tells how many Uncyclopedians were fucked in the head may have been inspired to be funny in part of this show. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 14:43, 30 July 2009 (UTC)

perhaps this might be better accomplished in the forums. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:22, 30 July 2009 (UTC)

Forums are outdated technology. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 15:23, 30 July 2009 (UTC)

I've never heard of it and it was probably really bad. - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 17:07, Jul 30

Football

I was wondering: when Football season starts, could the UnSighpost do a section concerning the FF league? Sort of like an UnSports section, or something, that I would write? Just curious. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 20:45, 30 July 2009 (UTC)

Yes. -- melodramatic Ape (liberate) (Riot Porn) 20:52, 30 July 2009 (UTC)

if you're referring to an article about the league in general, then i am willing to hop into my time machine and write a story for last week's issue...done! if you're referring to a weekly column, i can't help you with my time machine, because i just used it and it takes 47 hours to recharge. but sure, we could have something like that. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 01:07, 31 July 2009 (UTC)

Coolness. I was actually just thinking something along the lines of a column type thing, that either you or I would write weekly. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:28, 1 August 2009 (UTC)

Be sure to include how my team dominates the other 7. 17YEARSOFcHeDDaR 01:19,3August,2009

Forum thing

Yes, I would like you to put a mention about Forum:FUCKFUCKFUCK in the latest issue. It seems good enough for mention. Thank you!--Almost Sir Random Crap

We're not whoring your stupid crap. -- melodramatic Ape (liberate) (Riot Porn) 19:11, 2 August 2009 (UTC)

What do you mean? I'm not an attention whore! Prove it!--Almost Sir Random Crap

See here, here, here, here and most importantly, see discussion here. Now go write something funny. -- melodramatic Ape (liberate) (Riot Porn) 20:02, 2 August 2009 (UTC)

It was for the good of Uncyclopedia, what I did. I'm a democratic user who does not want glory and attention.--Bad Shroom 20:26, 2 August 2009 (UTC)

No it wasn't. It was embarrassing for all involved. You seem to be obsessed with creating memes. Here's what you fail to recognise: meme's can't be created artificially, they must arise naturally. If you're trying to make a meme it ipso facto ceases to be funny. In any case, this is not the place for that. Try 4chan or one of those retarded places that make my soul cry when I visit them. If you can't keep your memes to yourself, kindly leave. See also Things you're supposed to be doing instead of visiting Uncyclopedia. -- melodramatic Ape (liberate) (Riot Porn) 20:51, 2 August 2009 (UTC)

First of all, nobody was embarassed. Second, I'm staying in Uncyclopedia and will continue writing pages. Third, I can't set foot in 4chan. And FOURTH, I was trying to make a meme so uncyclopedia would get extra publicity. Now kindly keep your mouth shut. All I wanted is forum:FUCKFUCKFUCK to be noticed. It's kind of like a game, that topic. And it was started by an IP.--Bad Shroom 20:55, 2 August 2009 (UTC)

Shroom, you've made a bajillion forums and no articles. Forums don't get Uncyclopedia "publicity"; a really funny article might. Do something productive. - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 20:59, Aug 2

Well, he did write a few articles. A lot of them got deleted though. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 21:01, 2 August 2009 (UTC)

Also, we don't want the publicity from memes because it will bring a hundred vandals and no good users. Also also, if you managed to get banned from 4chan, don't you think that says something? -- melodramatic Ape (liberate) (Riot Porn) 21:05, 2 August 2009 (UTC)

Shroom, meet Category:Ideas. Every article there has an at least workable concept that you can use to expand into a full page. There's a lot of them, so, good luck! - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 21:06, Aug 2

Thanks T.L.B., I'll try. And also, Ape that shouldn't exist Today, I wasn't banned from 4chan. I just can't set foot in it after an incident with AT&T. It was on the news.--Bad Shroom 21:44, 2 August 2009 (UTC)

That was a mix-up that's been fixed for a while now. - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 21:54, Aug 2

delivery

so i started the unsignpost on time, then a wizard did it, and thus it's very late. can anyone deliver? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 18:44, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

I just got home, and i've got a while. I'll get it. Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 19:29, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

huzzah! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 19:34, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

New Draft for the next issue!!

I have a draft for you concerning new forum topics:

Recently in the forums, BHOP's activity has arguably skyrocketed. An IP has started a new rhyming craze, the cheesy, crunchy snack food CheddarBBQ has revived many topics that were getting rather aged, such as Fantasy Football, a Shakira-esque topic, and even his own birthday's topic. Also, in VFH, users have been scrambling over A wizard did it: A Retrospective's questionable feature status and whether it's cut for featuring. Lastly on BHOP, the fruity user Neox's random storytelling and serious userYouKnowWhatTheMusicMeans' serious, dramatic storytelling have made Forum:Who HATES MochiAds? 2's story a complete, random mess. So from IPs to Doritos to wizards to dramatic Chuck Norris stories, a lot has been going on.

-How is it?--Almost Sir Random Crap

it's rather short, but it could be a good start for a BHOP-themed piece. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 19:20, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

Dude, this guy just wants a way to whore his quest to create a meme. Don't indulge him. -- melodramatic Ape (liberate) (Riot Porn) 20:03, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

i've given up on that. Now be quiet or the politicians will kill you.--Almost Sir Random Crap

Puppy on the Radio...

Comes out as gay! Now uncyclopedia does have to fags to rub together. Or soemthing. You can use this if it's a slow news week.    Orian57    Talk   11:17 6 August 2009

Oh wait. He's not commited either way... Oh well it was fun while it lasted. Don't put this in the paper now, he's just attention seeking.    Orian57    Talk   11:19 6 August 2009

I'll confirm it, but it has to be a seriously slow week for that to be news... Pup t 07:31, 7/08/2009

only a little bit late delivery

the latest issue is wikia-approved, and ready for delivery! anyone available? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 19:34, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

wang. also, i'm letting it deliver to people as many times at it likes, with a message, ARCHIVE YOUR FUCKING PAGE IF YOU GET THIS MORE THAN ONCE! Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 20:12, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

lol for even more spam than usual. thanks again. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 20:19, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

I may actually have to back out for the moment. TDB is having some problems and I'm running out to go see my friends and dont have time to fix it. If it hasn't been done by tonight i'll be able to do it though. Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 20:51, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

So... um... TheDudeBot is still having problems, and my internet has been shitty all weekend. anyone want to do this, or should I start cranking it out manually? Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 15:56, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

I'll do it. Cause I have no friends. Or a life. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 21:10, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

Also, your self-loathing. You can't forget your terrible, terrible self-loathing. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 21:11, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

hooray for manual delivery! thanks again dex. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 21:21, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

It wasn't delivered yet? I should try to pay more attention to these things. Also, go Dexter! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 21:25, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

well i think the people involved in this conversation constitute over half of the unsignpost's readership, and since you've all probably read it anyway, delivery isn't an urgent matter (although it is still necessary and appreciated). SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 21:38, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

I couldn't deliver to Joe SheA (as usual) or Flutter because of locked talkpages. Also, I may archive some people's pages just because of the load time. Am I allowed to do that? MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:11, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

ummm check with an admin, but i assume that anyone's page that takes forever to load will consist of mostly unsignposts, so you cold do something like copy the most recent unsignposts to User talk:Inactive user/Overstuffed Mailbox. on that note... SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 22:48, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

re-subscription

do you guys think we should ask people if they want to keep receiving the unsignpost? the list of subscibers is getting long, and it's certainly annoying to do by hand, but if we're delivering to mostly permabanned or inactive users then i'm sure they won't miss it. they can always check the archives upon their return. we could but a blurb in this week's issue asking to people to renew at, say, Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/renewal. i think that should cut the delivery annoyance way down. opinions? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 22:48, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

Works for me. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:59, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

Something to consider is that some people who are not active may have the page watchlisted with it sending them an e-mail when their paged changes. This helps whore us out. Also, if you ask in the paper I doubt everyone who wants it to be continued to be sent will actually reply. It probably does need to be trimmed down a bit though as I'm sure many of those people are long gone... MrN 23:11, Aug 10

true. i'm thinking anyone who hasn't made an edit in six months or more probably wouldn't miss it too much. but most people signed up over a year ago, so i bet we can de-subscribe a good twenty or so out of the 134(?) we have now, at least. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 23:24, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

Definitly. And we'll be ably to cut it by almost 50. There were so many names I didn't recognise when I had to do the delivery.    Orian57    Talk   21:00 16 August 2009

Don't agree with the whore via e-mail concept. Firstly because it's so hard to digitise them, and I mean that in the most polite way, but thirdly because when you get e-mail constantly like that which you don't want, you delete it. Or you stop using that account. Or you chalk it up as spam, and uncyc suddenly can't get through spam blockers! I'd suggest if you are going to stop sending it out to everyone on the list, then send out a fond farewell to those that are being removed. Fourthly I'd probably add n unsubscribe to it, so when people want to opt out they can. Not that anyone ever would, of course. I'm just saying. Pup t 08:11, 17/08/2009

Yea, I agree with all that. I think the list could be trimmed down a fair bit. Probably the thing to do is start at the top of the list (where it's oldest) and work down. Any names you don't recognise, check their contributions, and if they have not been active in say... 6 month remove them? Maybe even trim it down to 4 months? I think there is a link to a users contributions in the toolbox (from their talk or user page) or it might be quicker to use two windows one open with a contributions window and change the user name each time. As for MrN9001 and TDB running AWB it's the large non-archived talk pages which are full of nothing other than un-signpost copies which buggers em up... MrN 21:25, Aug 18

Alright. I can start trimming it down then. I'm fairly not busy right now. I may perhaps archive some of the pages as well, if necessary. We shall see. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 21:34, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

IRC trivia

BREAKINGMOTHERFUCKINGNEWS. So yeah, there's this trivia script I'm running in #uncyclopedia now. I initially ran a bot (UncycTrivia) but charitwo told me there's a no-bot policy, so now I just run it from my regular IRC nick (semantics eh?). Most of the questions are fairly fucked up with their grammar, spelling, and insertion of random words (I'm on a continuous process to fix the 20,000+ questions). There are also questions related to Uncyclopedia. i.e.

Q: WHO DOES THIS REMIND YOU OF

A: BENSON

Q: sannse moved to San Francisco because she is a ______ (hint: it starts with an "L")

A: liberal

I also run it in ##turtle, which is the BHOP of the Uncyclopedia chatrooms (it got its name for the infamous QDB bit about the little girl with the box of turtles). There's also a team mode where players join one of two teams: the Cuntymints or the Throatwarblers ("cuntymints" also being from a notorious IRC discussion about moved keyboard keys, and "throatwarblers" being from Mhaille's image caption on the Virginia Tech Massacre article. Apparently a throatwarbler is a type of bird and does not have anything to do with fellatio as initially presumed).

So, is any of this signpost worthy? --EMC ^[TALK] 20:30, 16 August 2009 (UTC)

I'll write something. -- melodramatic Ape (liberate) (Riot Porn) 15:40, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

This Week's UnSignpost is finished.

Well, actually, it's last weeks, but whatever. I'll ask THEDUDEMAN if he can get the bot working for this, but I doubt he will be able to. Can anyone deliver it today? Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 21:18, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

MrN could probably deliver it too, if necessary. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 21:22, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

Yea, I can't do it... I'll try and get it to work soon, but I'll let you all know. Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 03:37, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

On a totally unrelated note, the featured VFD "against" vote was on a article that was kept. --Mn-z 04:40, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

Does it matter? Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 14:01, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

I feel the need to honor the person who created the last box to the right, it was brilliant. - - - Pie+Muffin = Greatness Barf- + -Observe 21:14, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

It seems to miss the purpose, since its a hyperbolic delete vote at a kept article. --Mn-z 05:20, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

hi

Anyone know how I can help deliver the news things?--Killer 3.14 23:06, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

Nobody said you even were delivering them, NOOB-TARD!--Almost Sir Random Crap

I know I just want to help.--Killer 3.14 23:12, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

Well, see, the admins stalk our contributions to see what level of society and respect we're on. Noobs who make random awards wouldn't be given a responsibility like that until they are not noobs that are actually funny. Confusing? It should be, the admins run on Hot Pockets and energy drink after all.--Almost Sir Random Crap

Who complains that they get an award??--Killer 3.14 23:19, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

I do. Anyway, this conversation is now completely pointless. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 23:20, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

I'm confused--Killer 3.14 23:24, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

I'm confused as to why you editted my comment. Don't. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 23:25, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

I'm also confused as to why you're still editing this. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 23:26, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

No one could see your comment.I just took away a few spaces.--Killer 3.14 23:27, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

Are you using a cellphone or something? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:30, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

Who? Why?--Killer 3.14 23:31, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

Well how can I help?--Killer 3.14 23:35, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

Write an article and stop trolling. MrN 23:37, Aug 18

I did write a few articles (that you deleted or moved to a place no one could get to for no reason), but I mean about Unsignpost--Killer 3.14 23:39, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

And you never explain why you banned me for a week or how I was "trolling"--Killer 3.14 23:39, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

Then I suggest you look up the term "trolling" on the "internet" and refer to your own contributions. MrN 23:54, Aug 18

Could someone not interested in insulting me on how I don't help please tell me how I can help ON UNSIGNPOST?--Killer 3.14 02:04, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

Write a short piece about something that's happening within the community that people will care about and doesn't involve your arrival to our site, then put it here for one of the regular unsignpost editors to read and say wither or not it's good.    Orian57    Talk   02:19 19 August 2009

k, thanks--Killer 3.14 12:29, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

Idea

I know your going to say that this would suit me the most and you might be right, but what if we give:

Cheesecake of the month award

to people who give large amounts of random humor.--Killer 3.14 12:46, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

No more awards. Ever. Also this isn't where you dump your ideas for site improvement.    Orian57    Talk   13:01 19 August 2009

-k,sorry--Killer 3.14 13:06, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

random humor isn't funny anyway. --Mn-z 17:09, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

Random humor is rarely funny. Only a few people are true masters of the universe. Umm... Humor... Most random "humor" ends up being stupid without the funny. Also, Uncyclopedia is suppose to be satire, not all of the several forms of comedy that appear to be here. Not that I'm complaining. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 19:36, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

Actualy, we're parody. satire normally denotes a problem and a solution. Parody is just making fun of stuff. FUN FACT OF THE WEEK FOR UNSIGNPOST! Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 03:55, 21 August 2009 (UTC)

I always thought that it was that satire is a larger genre that encapsulates parody, but also includes other things, like sarcasm and burlesque. HTBFANJS does talk against sarcasm, and burlesque often involves stripping - put you hands up if you want to see admins stripping. Pup t 08:41, 21/08/2009

I know, it's not really an award it's more of a insult, really.--Killer 3.14

UGotM might be what your thinking about. --Mn-z 16:32, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

Fantasy Football Draft Finally Finished

This probably warrants a story. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 18:33, 21 August 2009 (UTC)

Fantasy Football Draft Finally Finished

After four weeks of red-hot eight-man free fantasy football league draft action, the first Uncyclopedia Fantasy Football League (UFFL) Draft is finally at a close: Uncyclopedia regular and DiBiase's Millions general manager The Woodburninator made Arizona Cardinals' Kicker Neil Rackers Mr. Irrelevant on the afternoon of August 21th, 2009, a mere 26 hours after the previous pick had been made. Afterward, League Commissioner and noted Nazi sympathizer Guildensternenstein promised to make all subsequent Uncyclopedia Fantasy Football League official actions run much more smoothly. He vowed he would "put the drafted players on their respective fantasy teams" at some point "after I'm done writing this story for the UnSignpost and before I go see Inglourious Basterds later tonight."

The draft itself was varied, and picks ranged from the predictable (Vikings' running back Adrian Peterson taken first overall) to the even more predictable (Falcons' running back Michael Turner taken with second overall pick) to the fairly predictable (Drew Brees, Peyton Manning and Tom Brady being the first three quarterbacks taken) to the downright wild. Notable steals include Guildy's nabbing of Chris Johnson in Round 5, Woody's snagging of Aaron Rodgers in Round 6, and Bradaphraser's criminal steal of Dallas tight end Jason Witten. For every good pick, there was a bad one, however: in moves that would make Al Davis proud, LongLiverh3 took Philadelphia's No. 3 receiver while their No. 1 and No. 2 receivers were still on the board, made 30th ranked tight end L.J. Smith the second overall tight end picked, and made Baltimore QB Joe Flacco his backup quarter back while the likes of Matt Schaub, Jay Cutler, Ben Roethlisberger and Eli Manning were still available. LongLiver could not be reached for comment.

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 19:27, 21 August 2009 (UTC)

^Feel free to use this (or not). —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 19:28, 21 August 2009 (UTC)

Anyone want to help write yesterday's paper?

I don't want to see this die. link -- melodramatic Ape (liberate) (Riot Porn) 12:36, September 4, 2009 (UTC)

I'm giving it some proofreading. Revert any changes I make that were for intentional misspellings. I'm not terribly good as a writer, though I am pretty good as an editor, if that makes any sense. -- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 13:37, September 4, 2009 (UTC)

what you've got so far is good, though sadly we need a lot more. do you know why the unsignpost went from being weekly to now not? what happened? Also do you have any plans for any of the other boxes? -- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 13:49, September 4, 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, I have a couple of ideas. If you would like to come along afterwards and add funny stuff that would be appreciated. -- melodramatic Ape (liberate) (Riot Porn) 14:07, September 4, 2009 (UTC)

Also any ideas on our old school article? have we done HowTo:Learn Hebrew before? -- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 14:13, September 4, 2009 (UTC)

It doesn't look like it. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:43, 4 September 2009 (UTC)

I could help. Maybe. Perhaps. If you really want me to. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:27, 4 September 2009 (UTC)

I think I'm basically done. But feel free to add anything you want, cos what I made is a pile of shit. -- melodramatic Ape (liberate) (Riot Porn) 14:35, September 4, 2009 (UTC)

I think we should leave it looking like a hack job. Not bad though. -- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 14:37, September 4, 2009 (UTC)

Yes, but we'll make it slightly less so. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:43, 4 September 2009 (UTC)

maybe what we need is to have a group of users to create some excitement for the unnews? I have several ideas, but of course it wouldn't be me doing them -- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 15:53, September 4, 2009 (UTC)

Ready for delivery, I guess

Anyone available to do delivery? -- melodramatic Ape (liberate) (Riot Porn) 16:30, September 4, 2009 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/03-09-09 <- nearly forgot -- melodramatic Ape (liberate) (Riot Porn) 16:31, September 4, 2009 (UTC)

I can do it for about 20 minutes. I'll anounce last person I got to (going top to bottom) if I don't finish. -- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 16:33, September 4, 2009 (UTC)

done-- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 16:56, September 4, 2009 (UTC)

\o/ -- melodramatic Ape (liberate) (Riot Porn) 17:06, September 4, 2009 (UTC)

 |

/ \

horray for me! it actually wasn't too bad. I just was a little worried about getting it done before I got to class (which I am in right now, haha) -- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 17:14, September 4, 2009 (UTC)

I delivered the missing issue!

MUAHAHAHA! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 01:01, 8 September 2009

And it took more than 24 hours to do it. Hah! MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 01:16, September 8, 2009 (UTC)

Shut up. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 02:34, 8 September 2009

no, you shut up Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 02:36 September 8 '09

I wasn't talking to you. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 02:39, 8 September 2009

me neither Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 02:48 September 8 '09

That doesn't make any sense. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 02:54, 8 September 2009

nothing does Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 03:00 September 8 '09

ZING! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 03:12, 8 September 2009

You mean that crappy issue that I spent about 20 minutes on, hated, then quit? Oh geez. Never meant for that one to get out. Oh well. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 03:07, September 8, 2009 (UTC)

I hate having to repeat myself, but MUAHAHAHA! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 03:12, 8 September 2009

That's my line. It even sounds like my username Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 03:17 September 8 '09

Maybe....

yeh guys and gals should make it monthly? -- Roman Dog Bird 05:41, September 17, 2009 (UTC)

maybe you should go lick a goat. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 22:23, September 17, 2009 (UTC)

i already am --Roman Dog Bird 23:23, September 17, 2009 (UTC)