User:My Face Is Beautiful/Beautifulopedia

the content-free ripoff of Opossumopedia.
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From today's featured bees [Feature an article]

Ah, to disguise oneself! One of life's little pleasures. If someone doesn't like who they are, they can just turn around, click their heels three times, and become anybody! Movie stars, presidents, queens, kings, and rabbits, all within the reach of any lad or lass who can shuffle in off the street, throw down a little cash on the counter of their local costume shop, and with a gleam in their eye and confidence in their voice say, "Remake me, motherplugger!"

Disguises (a.k.a. costumes, masks, and cosmetics) have a long history and a longer psychological profile. They come out when you least expect it, and they wander the streets riding on top of children when you most expect it (a.k.a. Halloween). Disguises parade, flirt, and intoxicate themselves at carnivale, Mardi Gras, and costume parties. And disguises always emerge triumphant, bless their hearts, before going back to live in their box or closet to patiently await their next mischievous and free-spirited adventure. (Full article...)

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I know you don't know... [edit]

... that the toaster in Pulp Fiction is wanted in connection with at least 5 unsolved murders? (Pictured)

... that at some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser?
... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know.
...that the only cure for the hiccups is an orgasm?
... that Richard Nixon was well-known for his honesty and often referred to as Honest Dick?
... that Godot isn't coming?
... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
... that reading this DYK suggestion just wasted 10 seconds of your life?

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Extra! Extra! Read all about it! [edit]

One simply cannot piss until he scans this.

Indy police: former NFL quarterback Mark Sanchez literally butt-fumbles in real life
Trump receives COVID vaccine despite supporters making their entire personalities being against it for years
The US government continues to shit itself
Starmer unveils new digital ID cards to help further monitor citizens' pornography intake (Pictured)
BoJo and Co. politely ask Nigel Farage to stop lifting children
Omaha man's order of salmon sliders indistinguishable from salmon burgers
Charlie Kirk gets l+ratio'd during a speech in Utah
Sheeranism officially legalised in Yankeeland
Angela Rayner defects to Reform UK
Hollow Knight: Silksong gets released; Steam crashes for the second time this year
Some mega pop star and her football player boyfriend get engaged. Yaaay.
NFL teams replace female cheerleaders with gay dudes

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • Pregnant moms taking Tylenol to give their babies "autism powers" • Democrats and Republicans throwing hissy fits in D.C.

Recent deaths: Trump's pet sloth • Robert Redford • U.S. Federal Government • Jane Goodall • The Yankees' World Series dreams • Diane Keaton • Gaza War • Drew Struzan • Windows 10 • D'Angelo • YouTube player's old design • Ace Frehley • Any hopes for a KISS reunion

Upcoming deaths: DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • Aforementioned Tylenol moms • Mark Butt-fumble's career and freedom • Coral reefs

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sigh what's happening now? [edit]

October 24: Evil Villian Appreciation Day, National Put The Ramones On at Full Volume And Piss Off The Neighbors Day

1867 - After mass revolt by the Australian and New Zealand governments, Harry becomes Guardian of UCT
1889 - First recorded use of pure hearted maiden, strapped to railroad tracks, to attract a ransom; the deed, while dastardly, merely attracts Royal Canadian Mounted Police who save the girl and thwart the plan.
1931 - Polish schoolboy Joseph Ratzinger is arrested for arson, rape and general troublemaking. The Pope declares this day an International catholic holiday.
1941 - Hitler writes the lyrics of "Blitzkrieg Bop". Later becomes a hit song by The Ramones.
1943 - Morrocco becomes capital of evil villains; they are simply fed up to "here" with Hitler's needy personality
1969 - Your second-grade teacher, mean old Miss Masters takes away your favorite doll and holds it ransom; demands that you earn an "A" on your spelling test or "Dolly gets it"
1977 - Habitat for Humanity contemplates rebuilding the Big Bad Wolf's house for charity. Instead decides on Euthanasia as a more cost-sensitive option.
1984 - A science teacher from Great Yarmouth sends his class zipwiring down pylon wires, claiming a man who looked a spitting image of Osama Bin Laden told him to do so. It turned out to be the janitor. Incredibly, no-one was even injured and everyone cleared the zipline.
2005 - Dick Cheney gets a dozen roses.
2006 - George Bush holds Ramone concert; all of Canada kept awake until 3am
2007 - Harry Potter 7 comes out -SPOILER: Voldemort idealised as upstanding being, wins Hermione's heart. In desperation Harry becomes gay.

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My favorite pictures

When Moses finally reached the top of Mount Sinai he was surprised to find God had left him the holy iPad; complete with the ten commandments, the angry birds app, and all!

Image credit: Magic man and his friend.
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