User:My Face Is Beautiful/Beautifulopedia

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Welcome to Beautifulopedia,
the content-free ripoff of Opossumopedia.
21 active tung tung tung sahurs • 41,166 mistakes I've ever made

From today's featured bees 

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The famous Ring Bearer Frodo Baggins of the Shire, is a hobbit who saved Middle Earth. The heroic hobbit never set out to be a hero, or to save anything. But he was talked into it and having a good heart, he agreed with Gandalf's philosophy and being a wizard, Frodo couldn't bring himself to get into a battle of wits with someone much older and much more dramatic. The urgent warnings of doom, dark lords, and horrid creatures consuming all the pumpkin patches, cabbage and tomato gardens and strawberries and cream was enough to send Frodo into unnecessary hysteria. So effective was Gandalf's eccentric performance that Frodo agreed to leave the Shire, embark on a quest to an Elf Lord's secret meeting and then opting to go all the way to Mordor without having a single clue as to where the hell it was. But Frodo became renowned, known as a hard-nosed business hobbit, hell bent on revenge. (Full article...)

I know you don't know... 

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  • ... that the toaster in Pulp Fiction is wanted in connection with at least 5 unsolved murders? (Pictured)
  • ... that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?
  • ... that compromise is a great diplomatic tool? Although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better?
  • ... that contrary to popular belief, popular belief isn't all that popular?
  • ... that you're more likely to get struck by lightning twice than to discard an irrational fear based on a statistic like this one?
  • ... that the police are at your door?
  • ... that wearing a Top Hat is not only a sound fashion choice, it gives you somewhere to hide candy?
  • ... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?

Extra! Extra! Read all about it! 

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Downing Street denies this image.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI and Spaceballs 2 • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Baltimore Ravens fans shitting themselves after both their teams choked big-time • Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Venezuelans unsure whether to freak out or celebrate

Recent deaths: Doug Dimmadome • Zed's dead, baby (He was also the bad guy in The Mask) • Animal Farm • Kansas City Chiefs', Dallas Cowboys', Detroit Lions', Indianapolis Colts', Buccaneers' and Ravens' seasons • Rob Reiner • Bowen Yang's tenure on SNL • Patrick Mahomes' and his backup's ACLs • Brigitte Bardot • Carl Yastrzmski • 2025 • The MetroCard • Stranger Things • Kali • Vecna • The Upside Down • New York Rangers' fans livers and kidneys

Not dead: Eleven

Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • The Pittsburgh Steelers' fucking up once again • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • The Sabres actually being good? • Ravens' kicker • Dancin' Maduro • The Kansas City "Chiefs"

*sigh* what's happening now? 

If your favorite song isn't "Wait for It" I don't even want to breathe your air bitch

January 11: Alexander Hamilton Day

My favorite pictures

Cornwallis Surrenders
 General Cornwallis, after initial demands for T.P. for his bunghole, surrenders to General Washington at Yorktown. Cornwallis, however, refused to return Washington's hat, even after being called a 'fartknocker'.

Image credit: RadicalX
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

For starters

Mini projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

Indistinguishable others

This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 41,166 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.

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