User:My Face Is Beautiful/Beautifulopedia

the content-free ripoff of Opossumopedia.
46 active tung tung tung sahurs • 40,204 articles in English

From today's featured bees [Feature an article]

Congratulations! If you are reading this manual that means that you have purchased your very own Uncyclopedia. Inside this manual you will find all the information you require to set up and start running your Uncyclopedia, maintain the Uncyclopedia over time, and overcome common problems.

Each Uncyclopedia is a state-of-the-art comedy-centric website designed by highly paid developers at the Uncyclomedia Foundation to ask the question "What is funny?" As of this writing no Uncyclopedia has ever answered the question.

First remove your Uncyclopedia from the box. Handle with care! Your Uncyclopedia is young and will at first be disoriented by the change in environment. You will need to prepare a cool dry place for your Uncyclopedia to live. Uncyclopedias have been known to quickly adapt to a variety of different climates over time, but while yours is young you should closely monitor its reactions to heat and cold.

Uncyclopedias require a diet of raw potatoes and alcohol. A growing Uncyclopedia requires 15 meals a day so be sure to have plenty of potatoes and alcohol on hand. On special occasions you should feed your Uncyclopedia high-grade narcotics, you will be glad you did. Feed your Uncyclopedia often. (Full article...)

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I know you don't know... [edit]

... that former Australian prime minister John Howard once spent over 48 hours in session with his cabinet? (Pictured)

... that vaccinations and computer games combined make a deadly cocktail for autism?
... that a bomb shelter is the safest place to hide explosives?
... that the American Civil War was actually marked by many instances of uncivil behavior?
... that you can get great deals on Vietnamese clothing imports if you buy now?
... that the only thing money can't buy is poverty?
... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know.
... the muffin man?

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Extra! Extra! Read all about it! [edit]

Sly Stallone
(1946-Present)

Netanyahu and Khamenei get it on
Elon Musk breaks up with Trump
Trump sends condolences to "Sly Stallone" (Pictured)
Trump celebrates TACO Wednesday by reversing course on long-held campaign promise
THE ROCKIES HAVE WON A SERIES!
Hit videogame Deltarune about to be released tomorrow!!!
New York Knicks throw tantrum, fire head coach for barely missing the NBA Finals
Elevation Worship's Chris Brown filling in for mainstream Chris Brown until further notice
Taylor Swift buys back her masters
"Real" Timothee Chalamet at 2024 look-alike contest actually Finn Wolfhard

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War, now with Iran! • Trump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • NBA finals • Aaron Rodgers finally signing with a team • Animal-related live-action remakes kicking Snow White's ass

Recent deaths: Updates for Mortal Kombat 1 • Rick Derringer • New York Knicks' surprisingly kickass season and coach's tenure • Fear Street: Prom Queen • John Redcorn • Brian Grazer's career and livelihood, and anyone's respect for him • Sly ~~Stallone~~ Stone • Brian Wilson • Ariana Grande's Nonna • Canadian team's bid to win the Stanley Cup, again

Upcoming deaths: DEI • Diddy's and Chris Brown's chances at freedom • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screen • New York Knicks' future success and ego • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • Greta Thunberg? • R. Kelly • Iran's leadership

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sigh what's happening now? [edit]

I vow to thee my country all Earthly things above...

June 20: Have a Nice Day

1877 - Alexander Graham Bell installs the world's first telephone service. First order of business is to invent the phone sex hotline.
1893 - Lizzie Borden is acquitted for the murders of her father and stepmother, after brandishing an axe at the judge, jury and the prosecution.
1959 - A rare hurricane strikes Canada's Gulf of St. Lawrence, destroying vast Sasquatch habitat in Nova Scotia and postponing National Curling Championships.
1963 - The U.S. and the Soviet Union create an emergency "red telephone" hotline so leaders of both countries can talk about their day and ask about the weather.
1973 - Argentina dictator Juan Perón orders the killing of 50,000 civilians who call the Malvinas the Falkland Islands.
1994 - The British finally land on the Moon, mission nearly aborted when tea kettle briefly malfunctions. (Pictured)

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My favorite pictures

Say kids, is that Jihad thirsty work or what? Get some refreshment with a Fantanatic!

Image credit: Hindleyite
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For starters

How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
Policies and guidelines – for the boring rules no one follows
Formatting – for help on editing
Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
Community portal – for general community shenanigans

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Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

UnNews
News on crack
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The content-free encyclopedia
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Best left unsaid
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Ways to waste away
HowTo
Like Ikea without the pictures
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Content-free books
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Debate the irrelevant
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We ruin stage too
Why?
Because
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Armchair travel
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Indistinguishable others

This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 40,204 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.