User:My Face Is Beautiful/Beautifulopedia
From today's featured bees
My dog, Buddy, is the worst. He's just terrible. Don't vote for my dog! Don't vote for this article. It shouldn't be featured on any encyclopedia. It doesn't align with our website's values. I'll explain everything...
Reasons not to vote for Buddy:
I don't make these kinds of remarks lightly. I have both edited enhanced photos and logic to back up my statements. I'm not saying any of the above things are bad. They aren't in an of themselves. It's just he is the most extreme radical version of all of these things and this article, under no circumstances should be featured because of it. (Full article...)
I know you don't know...
- ... that I started drowning two minutes before typing this? (Pictured)
- ... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
- ...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special?
- ... that Bill Cosby and Bing Crosby are the same person?
- ... that Minecraft developers are flat earthers?
- ... that Jackson Pollock is the Jackson Pollock of painting?
- ... that nobody asked?
- ... that Ram Ranch really rocks?
Extra! Extra! Read all about it!
- Labour approval hits record low during Starmer premiership, PM resorts to "getting down with the youth" (Pictured)
- The New York Yankees now fucking suck
- Russian ship shines annoying red laser pointer at British planes
- Ron DeSantis passes Florida bill allowing seniors to hunt zoomers for their skin and organs
- Russian economy on life support after barely growing in 3rd quarter
- The UK to ban the resale of tickets
- Bill passed in Pennsylvania to legalise flying cars because why the fuck not?
- Trump kills the penny after realizing spending four cents on a one cent coin isn't the best idea
- Russian AI powered humanoid robot faceplants on stage in front of crowd
- Syrian National Museum gets robbed of six to seven Roman statues
- Cloudy windy Hurricane Melissa hits da Jamaica, mon! BOMBOCLAAT!
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 2 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE raids • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • The New England Patriots barely beating crappy opponents • Mike Tomlin screwing the Pittsburgh Steelers
Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • Nick Mangold • Jamaica • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya Nakadai • Sally Kirkland • The penny • Udo Kier • Jimmy Cliff
Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song Contest • DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Chiefs Kingdom's livers and kidneys after realizing they will probably miss the playoffs • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7"
*sigh* what's happening now?
December 1: Sherlock Holmes Day
- 2 - Advent calendars invented. In pre-chocolate Eurasia, children open doors to reveal grains of sand.
- 1887 - Sherlock Holmes appears for the first time in a dazzling sheer white silk tafetta evening gown, creating an instant sensation throughout the Victorian world.
- 1891 - Holmes is killed by Professor Moriarty, brought back three years later in "Arthur Conan Doyle Needs Money."
- 1897 - Holmes disappears over Switzerland's Reichenbach Falls, only to reappear three years later on the northern shoals of Lake Lugano as a giant squid.
My favorite pictures
| The Lego JFK Assassination Set was the top selling toy of 1963. Collectors have been known to pay up to twenty-seven dollars on eBay. Image credit: Sliferjam |
For starters
- How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
- Policies and guidelines – for the boring rules no one follows
- Formatting – for help on editing
- Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
- Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
- Community portal – for general community shenanigans
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 41,023 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.
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