User:My Face Is Beautiful/Beautifulopedia
From today's featured bees
Ahhh. Long day of work over. Time to grab that big-ass bowl of vegetable beef barley soup in the fridge.
Bill, you better not have touched my soup again! Like that time you got so drunk you took a whiz in it. Twice. Come to think of it, it was shitty soup. That probably improved it. Not like this one.
Let's see, cake, milk, horse semen, ketchup, monkey, hair roller thingy, soup! Yes! My life is whole again!
Hold on...
Why is my hair roller in here?
Wait...
This horse semen tastes funny. Did you put your semen in here again, Bill?
Don't ask how I know what yours tastes like. We were drunk. Not my fault.
Just a minute...
WHY IS THERE A MONKEY IN MY FUCKING FRIDGE?!? (Full article...)
I know you don't know...
- ... that Christmas was cancelled in 1984 after an unfortunate accident between Santa and a Boeing 747? (Pictured)
- ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes?
- ... that [Wiki|wiki formatting]] is perfect]? It never malfunctions'!
- ... that a simile is like a metaphor? And hyperbole is the greatest thing ever?
- ... that individuals born under the sign of Gemini are often flammable and vulnerable to bear attacks?
- ... that you've just lost the game?
- ... that condoms prevent many sexually transmitted diseases, and at least one erection? Sorry Candace...
- ... that you should invest in chicken stock?
Extra! Extra! Read all about it!
- Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (Pictured; this article is not sponsored by A.I.)
- The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS!
- US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters
- So.. about that Super Bowl..
- Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows
- GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson!
- Next season's Super Bowl revealed to be on Valentine's Day
- Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight
- Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April
- Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland
- Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez
Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • Winter Olympics • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over
Recent deaths: Brad Arnold • NFL season • Lindsay Vonn's leg • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson • YouTube • Tom Noonan • McSteamy from Grey's Anatomy (if you're Gen X) or the dad from Euphoria (if you're a Millennial or Gen Z) • Melania Trump's big movie star career
Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews
Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce • the US government, again • Warner Bros. (?) • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to care about
*sigh* what's happening now?
February 21: Put Off Learning a Foreign Language Day
- 1848 - Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels publish The Communist Manifesto, 100 billion people instantly die.
- 1918 - The last Carolina Parakeet dies after calling the local constable a cracker. (Pictured)
- 1948 - Lazy people create NASCAR to have a sport where you can sit the whole time.
- 1952 - Winston Churchill wonders how he can get away with being such a flaming racist.
- 1965 - Malcom X is assassinated by the Nation of Islam, which is a real Nation of Islam sort of thing to do.
- 2017 - You uninstall the Duolingo app on your phone after you can't commit to 15 minutes of learning Spanish a day. Ay pobrecito.
My favorite pictures
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Though the United States' new strategy in Iraq has proven effective at routing insurgent rebels, it has done little to relieve the stigma of what many perceive as American imperialism. Image credit: Thetoastman |
For starters
- How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
- Policies and guidelines – for the boring rules no one follows
- Formatting – for help on editing
- Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
- Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
- Community portal – for general community shenanigans
Mini projects
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UnNews
News on crack -
Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia -
Undictionary
Best left unsaid -
UnTunes
Noisy things -
UnGames
Ways to waste away -
HowTo
Like Ikea without the pictures -
UnBooks
Content-free books -
Unquotable
Useless misquotes -
Uncycloversity
No student loans -
UnPoetia
Dreams deferred -
UnDebate
Debate the irrelevant -
UnScripts
We ruin stage too -
Why?
Because -
UnReviews
Hack frauds -
UnVoyage
Armchair travel -
Uncyclomedia
The Foundation
Indistinguishable others
This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 41,064 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.
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10,000+ articles
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1,000+ articles
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100+ articles
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