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From today's featured article 

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[The Teletubbies are eating their custard breakfast]

LAA-LAA: How many pounds of custard are we talkin' here?

DIPSY: We're talking, like... at least 500 pounds of custard in that vault.

TINKY WINKY: No shit? That's a whole lot of fuckin' custard. That would do wonders for our business, man.

PO: You guys remember that motherfucker, Noo-Noo? Little vacuum thing? Baby Sun told me he's already got information regarding the joint.

TINKY WINKY: Noo-Noo? We worked with him once and I nearly fuckin' died cause of it, remember? His goddamn battery started overheating and he almost exploded! How can we be sure he's reliable for a job as big as this?

(Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ... that this in not a DYK entry?
  • ... that an umbrella is a magical object that is used in many cultures to discourage rainfall?
  • ... that Calvin and Hobbes was an action-packed buddy comedy series that ran from 1542-1549, featuring philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes as themselves?
  • ... that the Japanese have a saying: "A man cannot read the same Wikipedia page twice"? The pages are constantly being edited, and the act of reading it will make you a different person. Therefore, when a man goes back to re-read it, both the text and the man have been changed.
  • ... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know.
  • ... that at some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser?
  • ... that Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted?

In the news 

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On this day 

Oh God I feel it.
April 24: Regretting Eating Those Novelty Chocolate Easter Bunnies Day (U.S.)
  • ∞ BC - Time begins, to the disappointment of trillions.
  • 1353 - Badger maulings reach record levels in Europe.
  • 1704 - The first regular newspaper is published in America: The Boston New-Letter, containing overly-opinionated columns and hyped-up headlines. Circulation soars.
  • 1856 - The word chairman is introduced to the Oxford English Dictionary as "A person with a proclivity to stand sitting."
  • 1862 - The American Civil War on spelling begins, the letter 'u' in 'color' being the first victim.
  • 1995 - The most amazing child on earth was born, sadly, he was born in Croatia.
  • 2005 - George W. Bush declares, "America is officially full," all immigrants rerouted to Nunavut.

Picture of the day

GI Jew: The Movie
 GI Jew: The Movie is a 2006 remake of the classic Torah! Torah! Torah! of 1967 fame. The remake underwent many names before GI Jew was chosen, including Hebrews with Hutzpah and Israel is Real.

Image credit: RadicalX
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