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From today's featured article
The Bacon and Cheese Sandwich of 1905 was an especially good sandwich. High in cholesterol and known to cause cancer, maybe, but really quite delicious. Sandwich connoisseurs, if they still existed, would all agree that it surpassed all other sandwiches of its type and, indeed, probably surpassed most other varieties of sandwich. Alas, the night the sandwich was presented, that of October 14, 1905, marked the end of the noble tradition of sandwich connoisseuring, a great loss to the world of international snobbery.
The Bacon and Cheese Sandwich was built in four stages, starting exactly one year before the sandwich was to be revealed to the public. These stages were in themselves very momentous events, making headlines across the world and affecting the stock market in ways grossly out of proportion to their material significance. An international team of chefs, highly specialized in the craft of sandwich-making, was assembled from over 250 countries; an absurdly large figure, given the fact that there are less than two hundred countries in the world. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that the classic fairy tale Hansel and Gretel was blamed for hundreds of accidental deaths involving elderly women being pushed into ovens by children? (Pictured)
- ... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears?
- ... that while Pong! the Movie followed suit with the wildly popular video game genre, such as The Super Mario Brothers movie and Resident Evil, it did not play out as well in the box offices?
- ... that Jesus loves you, but that's probably not enough to get to heaven?
- ... that every time you blink, you get transported to another alternative Universe?
- ...that I get knocked down, but I get up again, and you're never gonna keep me down?
- ... that this in not a DYK entry?
- ... that Liechtenstein is completely pointless?
In the news
- California is on fire, again.
- Steve Guttenberg comes to the rescue... without those goofy sound effects
- Trudeau resigns after making a mess for a decade, Canucks rejoice
- Alcohol gets the Surgeon General's Warning for cancer; sparking "Dry January" chaos
- Jimmy Carter kicks bucket at the ripe old age of 100 (Pictured)
- Panama Canal faces ominous threats from both global warming and Donald Trump
- Google reveals least popular searches of 2024
- Jay-Z and Beyonce sit their children down and have a talk with them
- Luigi arraigned for gunning down health insurance CEO; pleads not guilty
- South Korea's president tries to order pizza, declares martial law instead
- Biden pardons Princess Peach and Blossom
- ... and Hunter ... and Fauci ...
- Special Counsel Jack Smith pardons President-elect turkey, meaning he gets away with January 6th
- Cicely Tyson demolishes Aaron Paul in Netflix "boxing" match
- Project 2025 to be implemented in 2026, riots ensue
- The Onion buys InfoWars. Extra true conspiracy theories coming soon!
- "Nope!" says, judge
- Epstein pal Trump picks sex pest pedophile as attorney general ... only for him to pull out
Ongoing: Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel–Hamas conflict • United States presidential election aftermath • College football playoff with twelve schools! (not you, 'Bama) • Josh Allen / Lamar Jackson MVP "debate" • Golden Globe Awards
Recent deaths: Brian Thompson (United Healthcare CEO) • Liberal Party of Canada • Diddy's career • The Eras Tour • A CEO who died peacefully and surrounded by his loving family • Greg Gumbel • Jimmy Carter • Aaron Rodgers' career • Jean-Marie Le Pen • Peter Yarrow
Upcoming deaths: Vladimir Putin • Bashar al-Assad • Diddy's freedom • Benjamin Netanyahu • Jay‑Z's career and freedom • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • The New England Patriots' hope for the future
On this day
January 8: National Discrimination Day (U.S.)
- 8 - first ever January the 8th.
- 1815 - Andrew Jackson defeats the British in New Orleans, catching them by surprise while they're celebrating the peace treaty.
- 1828 - The Democratic Party is formed on the principles of looking respectable and competent while doing absolutely nothing else.
- 1942 - Henry Ford declares his allegiance to Adolf Hitler's dictatorship, repaints all Model T's white.
- 1964 - Lyndon B. Johnson declares a "War on Poverty", millions of poor people are mercilessly exterminated before Johnson clarifies, "That's not what I meant..."
- 2009 - Kellogg's continues to conquer the cereal market with smack (Pictured) after finally dropping the honey flavoring and just selling it straight up.
- 2010 - Scientists discover that stomach acid causes breast cancer, but only when digested. Sorry, Carlin.
Picture of the day
Quenching the thirst of millions of plumbers across the nation, it's the ultimate soda. Image credit: CartoonDiablo |
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