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From today's featured article [Feature an article]

Article 153/3 of the Geneva Convention, dealing with the usage, proliferation and defense against Biohazard grade materials has been conducting ongoing research over the last 17 years to cover the wide issue of the so called Jewish Cuisine. This clinical research has been conducted according to the standard clinical trial-and-error methodology, including two test groups and a control group. Some of the experiments include: (1) Single exposure to a single ingredient of "Jewish Cuisine", (2) Long term exposure to a single ingredient of "Jewish Cuisine", (3) Short and long term exposures to mixed ingredients.

The effects researched included both physical and mental changes over a period of time. Within this document we shall try to convey concise recommendation and treatment options for each known item that is included under the "Jewish Cuisine". (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that I hear voices outside my room? (Pictured)

... that much like your cancer-stricken Grandpa, the United Kingdom would rather shit the bed than accept its fate and fade into obscurity?
... that the song "Harder Better Faster Stronger" by Daft Punk is a giant "That's what she said" joke?
... that the lawman/outlaw Wild Bill Hickok had one of the most celebrated mustaches in the Wild West?
...that the largest collection of human bullshit is located in the United States Congress?
... that the first use of "LOL" is in Shakespeare's play, As You Like It, and that the first use of "OMG" may be found in Macbeth?
... that rounding up sheep is easiest to the nearest ten?
... that the Canadian government plans to convert the entire city of Vancouver into a giant marijuana farm by 2050?

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In the news [edit]

Let's Buy Weird Al from Musk – Uncyc's Next Big Adventure!

Support our fake album and win a free Palestinian! (Pictured)
The Philadelphia Eagles steal the NFL's script and prevent the Kansas City Chiefs from 3‑peating
- Philadelphia will burn to the ground as a result.
- Taylor Swift also begins writing her new breakup song for Travis Kelce; it goes something like "Dreamed of a 3‑peat, but you fumbled the play – Lost the Super Bowl and me the same day."
Ye has officially lost his fucking mind for the millionth time
Donald Trump announces grand opening of the Sierra Gaza
Biden announced as new Bond after signing with CAA
Trump Taken audition leaked
Kendrick Lamar wins five Grammys AND performs Not Like Us at the SuperBowl to over 100 million people, much to Drake's dismay
Smokey the Bear revealed to be cause of LA fires
NASA headquarters explode as major star goes on break
The Ohio State wins skibidi championship rizz
- In an alternate universe, Notre Dame wins and saves us all from this monstrosity
Elon Musk "accidentally" does a tribute to ... y'know
Time travelers protest Trump's inauguration, reveal we're stuck in a time loop
TikTok gets banned and unbanned in the US within 24 hours
Who's performing at Trump inauguration? (2025)

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI • Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel‑Hamas conflict • ICE actually doing their job and rounding up illegal immigrants • Taylor Swift's very unlucky, no good year • Eagles fans rioting and eating horseshit in celebration, again

Recent deaths: Yoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedom • David Lynch • Bob Uecker • Dame Joan Plowright • The Kansas City Chiefs Dynasty and Patrick Mahomes's legacy • A One Direction reunion

Upcoming deaths: Philadelphia • Travis Kelce's sham relationship with Taylor Swift and his career • TikTok, for real this time • Bashar al‑Assad • Diddy's freedom • Jay‑Z's career and freedom • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Your New Year's resolutions • Los Angeles • Laura Palmer • DEI, for better or for worse

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On this day [edit]

Pictured: Your taste in music/television/everything.

February 20: Hot Garbage Day

1792 - The Postal Service is first established, celebration ceremony is accidentally rerouted to San Francisco, Spanish California.
1872 - After some harsh wind, the Metropolitan Museum of Art opens its first exhibit, a giant pile of toppled over ceiling scaffolding.
1877 - Russian ballet Swan Lake is received poorly by critics after show swans descend into the audience and peck their eyes out.
1935 - The first woman to set foot in Antarctica wonders what all the fuss was about.
1986 - The Soviet Union launches the space station Mir, cosmonauts test whether communism can work in outer space.
2016 - A man in Schenectady, New York is the first person to describe someone's opinion as "hot garbage" (Pictured), is given medal for ruining English.

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Picture of the day

Uncyclopedia's patron, Oscar Wilde, dropping the truth on you bitches.

Exodus 32:

15 And Wilde turned, and went down from the mount, and the two tables of the testimony were in his hand: the tables were written on both their sides; on the one side and on the other were they written.

16 And the tables were the work of God, and the writing was the writing of God, graven upon the tables.

Image credit: Zombiebaron. Zombiebaron. Zombiebaron.
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