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From today's featured article [Feature an article]

Captain Nigel Paul Joseph Hermann Heinrich Luitpold Adolf "Liar" Farage has, on numerous occasions, served as the ~~leader~~ Führer of the United Kingdom ~~Independence~~ Incompetence Party (UKIP), a position out of which, it seems, he cannot stay regardless of however many times he tries to resign.

Due to a mishap on the birth certificate (he was supposed to be named Nigel Garage but his mother accidentally wrote F instead of G), Nigel Farage was born in 1864 to French parents. He grew up in Thanet, and moved to Bromley in the 1990s when too many Poles came in for his liking. He blames this on the European Union, for allegedly making it a legal requirement for the UK to let too many immigrants in and then permit them to take all the jobs in the country. Around this time, he bought a second home in Newton Abbot and joined the newly formed UKIP because the Tories weren't Eurosceptic enough for his liking. (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy? (Pictured)

... that bestiality just got 15 percent more legal?
... that less than 10% of the world's cactus population contains gold inside?
... that the Byzantine Empire is pretty much the same as the Roman Empire, only not as cool?
... that the Rorschach inkblots all look kinda like my Aunt Gladys giving head to Satan?
... that Hitler killed himself out of fear of Soviet capture and torture, not because he saw the gas bill?
... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell?
... that to the untrained ear, John Aglethorpe's Ode to the Monotony of Life may simply sound like one continuous, monotonous tone, but the song is actually composed mostly of alterations between the A sharp and B flat notes tied together?

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In the news [edit]

Straight or gay, make your choice.

Springfield infant arrested in second Trump shooting
Obama to dead people: "Don't boo, vote!"
Repeatedly haunted astronomers change the name of Betelgeuse
Saw XI's poster design changed again (Pictured)
2024 Presidential election too close to call for the third day running
President Biden apologizes for no apparent reason
UnNews endorses Kamala Harris so the real news doesn't have to
- Conservative UnNews contributor rage-quits over this, then rejoins days later when he gets bored
Donald Trump enlists former NFL problem child Antonio Brown, introduces Trump Fries
Fire-type Pokémon Typhlosion faced with rampant sexual harrasment charges
10 out of 9 people unable to use a number line
David Duke endorses Jill Stein, claims Trump "not racist enough"
Doctor: Kamala Harris not elderly white man with dementia
Rapper and rapist Sean "P. Diddler" Combs admits to baby oil addiction
Joe Biden "accidentally" endorses Trump on Instagram
Lon Chaney and son endorse Kamala Harris
Lucy makes surprise appearance in fighting video game
- And on SNL!
16 Takeaways on why news stories these days are dominated by takeaways
Florida Man tries and fails to get Trump shot again. Nobody cares this time, not even Trump.
Ukraine finally plays its Uno Reverse card against Russia

Ongoing: Russian Invasion • Israel-Hamas conflict • United States presidential election • NFL season • World Series
Recent deaths: John Ashton • Rafael Nadal's tennis career • Liam Payne • The chances of a One Direction reunion • The New York Yankees' World Series appearance drought • Yahya Sinwar • Phil Lesh
Upcoming deaths: Vladimir Putin • Kate Middleton • Your fantasy football team's playoff chances • Noam Chomsky • Google as a monopoly • Fútbol season • Coldplay

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On this day [edit]

October 30: All Hallow's Eve Eve

1745 - The English plan for the first annual Dress Like An Idiot Day.
1929 - Thousands of investors sell stock in candy, leading to a stock market crash and a very depressing Halloween.
1989 - Old lady buys apples to give out to trick-or-treaters; still doesn't get it.
2011 - Viewers of The Simpons Treehouse of Horror disappointed once again, will be duped again next year.
2014 - Americans everywhere begin to put up Christmas decorations, or leave the Christmas decor they forgot take down.
2018 - The streets of every major city fill with the scent of pumpkin spice and dead homeless people, taken by the cold of winter nights.

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Picture of the day

Tsar Wars Episode IV: No Hope

Image credit: Sannse
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