User talk:Orian57/Archive10

Talk page de-virginizing!

This page's cherry = popped. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 01:15, Dec 30

That's TWICE I've missed the cherry popping...what will my Muslim friends think when they see white sheets in the morning? They will behead us both! —Sir SysRq (talk) 01:40, 30 December 2008 (UTC)

Probably hang actually, beheading is too harsh a punishment for this enlightened time. Also hey leddy, aint seen you since about four rapes ago. Good to see you again! :) Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 02:46 30 December 2008

*The door breaks down* huff.... huff.... *cough*..... I heard.... huff.... huff..... *looking around*.... I uh.... *cough*.... I heard your talk page was empty.... huff.... huff.... And that, um.... huff..... you know... huff.... I would be able to, uh.... huff.... huff.... *looks up*.......................... Ahhh, fuck. The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 04:44, 30 December 2008 (UTC)

*The window opens* Hi. I don't have much time, so I'l make this quick. Happy New Yea-- *falls* OW! stupid hotel. Sire それは驚くばかりの性交である!! -4- (01:55 12-31-2008)

METHY! Aint seen you about man, how you doing? Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 02:11 31 December 2008

I'm fine, I just didn't think there was anyone home, so I left and then 4 weeks later I find out you're still here... Sire それは驚くばかりの性交である!! -4- (02:49 12-31-2008)

Did someone say Methy?! WHERE?!?! -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 02:56, 31 December 2008 (UTC)

WTF?! You're here too? Sire それは驚くばかりの性交である!! -4- (02:59 12-31-2008)

Not as much as before - I got banned for being useless for a bit and then i just went into hiding. I only come out for holidays and the occasional bar mitzvah now. Anywho, how're you doing? Also, Hi, Orian!!!!-- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 03:03, 31 December 2008 (UTC)

Yay! It's R(ape)T(ea)! I'm gonna have to start doing stuff, people keep thinking I've left. Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 13:58 31 December 2008

I left because I thought both of you weren't here anymore. Also my grades were slipping.

I thought you left, for example. Sire それは驚くばかりの性交である!! -4- (15:19 12-31-2008)

Orian: I can think of something you could do... --UU - natter 16:25, Dec 31

But daddy I don't want to! /me goes to look at pee list Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 16:47 31 December 2008

I can haz something...er... to do? -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 21:28, 31 December 2008 (UTC)

Me. :) Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 22:03 31 December 2008

If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... Sire それは驚くばかりの性交である!! -4- (01:43 01-1-2009)

*sigh* ...if i must... *disrobes* Hurrah for the new year, all! (it's still 6:41 over here, though :P) -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 02:41, 1 January 2009 (UTC)

Oh, so you are in California. Anyways, your package is still not very impressive. But that's me. Sire それは驚くばかりの性交である!! -4- (02:48 01-1-2009)

Yay sex! Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 03:44 1 January 2009

Dear god, I've missed so many orgies. - [13:27 12 January] Sir FSt Don Yettie

You know,

You haven't been voting on my articles lately. Maybe if you made a habit of doing so, I wouldn't have to do this quite so often. —Sir SysRq (talk) 22:12, 31 December 2008 (UTC)

Thank you for voting.

Thank you for voting. Thank you all for voting me your Writer of the Month for December 2008, despite my rather long winded speech half-telling you not to while still being whore enough to accept the award anyways. Enjoy this pretty template styled after my pretty new userpage as your payment, as per our previous agreement. Much love, —Sir SysRq (talk) 22:49, 1 January 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 1st January 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The edition that's black and white and dead all over

January 1st, 2009 • Issue 29 • The first newspaper to wish you a Happy Christmas 2009!

The UnSignpost starts 2009 as it ended 2008: Late The UnSignpost, the wiki newspaper with the highest staff turnover on the interwebs, has made a promising start to 2009, by being late with the first issue of the year. Gentleman editor UU said "I could say the issue was ready on time, but it was tricky to find a paperbot, but we at the Signpost have never hid behind excuses. Oh no, wait, we do that all the time. I couldn't be bothered to hunt hard enough to find a paperbot. Sorry. Still, it's not like the readers expect better, is it?" Several readers were probably available for comment, but we didn't ask them anything and blatantly made one up: "it wouldn't be the UnSignpost if it arrived on time", Orian57 might have said, if we'd asked him. The Patronising New Year EditorialTM If you follow a sensible calendar, and not a Chinese, Jewish, Muslim, Celtic or whatever one, a New Year has just dawned, bringing with it the faintest vestiges of hope. Hope that things may just be different this time. Hope that we may keep a resolution for longer than a week. Hope that we will achieve all those targets our hearts desire. Hope that mankind may finally rise above the pettiness of squabbling between families, religions and nations, and unite in a glorious surge towards a bright, common future. From this we can infer that Andy Dufresne in The Shawshank Redemption didn't have a clue what he was on about - hope is a ridiculous thing, and should be crushed as soon as possible. However, there is still the possibility, however remote, that something good might happen. Active users might start writing more good articles again. VFH might start to flow like it used to. Old users may return, invigorated, to bestow upon us fresh fruits of their imaginations. New users may arrive to take up the baton, and stride boldly forward, blessing us with a wealth of new articles that inject fresh purpose and impetus to the site. Don't look like that - it might happen. Well, monkeys might also fly out of your butt. Depends if teleportation technology ever becomes viable, widely available, and small enough to secure in such a narrow location. Face it, we haven't a clue what this year holds for us yet, folks, all we can do is try and make it the best we can by writing more articles, and helping new users out, and see where we go from there. This is your UnSignpost, patronising the fuck out of you. Happy New Year! Kevin Rudd says Uncyclopedia is the worst By Joe9320 Recently, Kevin Rudd said that Uncyclopedia is the worst. In his statement when he was at his speech in Beijing, China, he said "Uncyclopedia is the worst. They put up articles of disgust, nonsense and rudeness. Fuck Uncyclopedia! It's just a plain ripoff of Wikipedia" Then he went on to say how Uncyclopedia is bad. He also said "Illogicopedia is nonsensical, but much better than Uncyclopedia. Even Wikipedia doesn't have anything disgusting on it, despite articles about rude words". As the people of Uncyclopedia, we totally disagree on Mr Rudd's comments on Uncyclopedia. People should realise that this great website is not a ripoff of Wikipedia. Hail Cthulhu!

Check out these pages! Something about us being the worst, maybe? Possessive pride The "bring back Gert" bandwagon starts here Upstanding songwriting competition From our logs: 14:04, 26 December 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 68.59.56.100 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (For doing something to a page on Phil Collins. You have terrible taste.) 12:56, 25 December 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked YourFriend (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (If I shove a Christmas tree up your ass, does that make you an angel?) 21:23, 18 December 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 69.182.114.238 (Talk) with an expiry time of 6 months ‎ (Your edits are bad on a scale I haven't seen in quite some time. You'd be the chosen one if the goal of this wiki was to make shitty stubs about your friends.) Biopic of the Week Proudly the worst since 2005, Uncyclopedia is the place all subscribers to this newspaper will have edited at least once. That means you are directly responsible for its worstness. We hope you feel suitably chastened. Year of the week 2008. As far as years went, it was OK - there were days in it, things happened and whatnot. People joined, people left, people returned, people lurked, people vandalised, and drama was never far away. But it's probably the best year we've had for at least 8 months. Year that hasn't happened yet of the week. 2022. We just get a good feeling about it. It'll probably suck now. Exhortation to vote on stuff of the week We at the UnSignpost know how much you all love voting, so what better treat than the bumper crop of New Year voting pages? Top 10 of Dec, WotY, UotY, PotY, WotM, UotM, PotM, RotM, VFH, VFD... How much fun can you have in one month?

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

MrN9001 01:01, 3 January 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 8th January 09

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Proudly supporting editorial independence whenever the board say it's okay

January 8th, 2009 • Issue 30 • Suckling the Milk of News from the Teat of Truth

Uncyclopedians on Xbox Live By SysRq Recently, hundreds dozens some Uncyclopedians have joined the ranks of thousands of pizza-faced proud high school graduates and pre-pubescent twelve year old boys in the dysfunctional, loosely connected network of gamers known as Xbox Live. Among these traitors to Uncyclopedia were Orian57, a friend of the UnSignpost and frequently featured writer. Other Uncyclopedians on Xbox Live include The Woodburninator, Mhaille, Bonner, and Heerenveen. How could such successful Uncyclopedians go so wrong? I went undercover as "Pope Gustav" to expose these turncoats and find out why they abandoned the site in such numbers. The following is an actual transcript between me (under the alias "Pope Gustav") and Orian57 (under the alias "Orian57") on Xbox Live. Pope Gustav: Hey buddy, it's SysRq from Uncyclopedia. Orian57: Hello. You want to play some Horde? Pope Gustav: Yeah, man. We're playing on Gridlock, right? Orian57: Actually, Security is a much easier map for Horde. Pope Gustav: Cool. This is stunning evidence that Orian57, along with others, is leaving the site for the glamorous life of Xbox Live. When confronted with this transcript and these accusations, Orian replied that "I was just on Uncyclopedia today. I was just bored and wanted something else to do." Oddly enough, all of the other Uncyclopedians that have Xbox Live accounts that I spoke to also claimed to have "lives" outside of Uncyclopedia, lives that mainly consist of playing Halo 3. Article gets +21 votes on VFH By Mnbvcxz. Only a few days after going back to featuring "Today's Featured Article" for only one day, instead of the previous two, the article, The defense rests, your honor received 21 "for" votes and no "against" after a mere 3 days on VFH. The article, nominated on VFH by SysRq, and written by noted admin Modusoperandi, is the first article surpass +20 votes in a long while on VFH. Upon hearing of his accomplishment, Modus is heard to have said, "I'd like to thank all of the little people that I crushed to get where I am," and, "Can I wear my Kernel Popcorn costume?" SysRq, the article nominator is quoted as saying, "I was the one who nommed that article; I deserve some recognition." For those of you are new around here, VFH is the process by which uncyclopedia nominates articles for "Today's Featured Article", the article in the top left corner on the mainpage. All users of uncyclopedia, including anonymous ip users are encouraged to vote on VFH and nominate articles on VFH. VFH can be found here, but typing in VFH in the search box, by clicking the "Votes for Highlight" link under the community links on the right (it's second from the bottom between "Pee Review" and "Votes for Pictures"), and Uncyclopedia:VFH, in addition to several other redirects. Many users have expressed approval of this accomplishment, as the more votes an article gets, the better an article is. Therefore, by voting on an article, one injects more quality into an article, in the same way that manufacturers "inspect" quality back into a finished part. Additionally, the admins will not longer be forced to torture various cute animals to inspire users to vote in VFH: provided VFH doesn't stall out again.

Check out these pages! Serious Bitchin' Business Women farting on baked goods... Who was that guy? From our logs: 14:30, 7 January 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 69.249.151.205 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (hi hi poop? That's the best you can do?) 22:38, 6 January 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 151.201.148.112 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (People who don't learn need to get extra lessons via their anus. Well, I'm here to give extra lessons. Bend over mister!) 15:22, 4 January 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 79.175.81.253 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (1nd, I have 2 dads, and 2th, just because I am the product of dirty, dirty incest, and also a fuckface, that is no reason to blank my talkpage. Fuckface.) Biopic of the Week Whatever else you say about Mordillo, you can't say he's idle. Except in real life, because he's spending all his time on his computer, banning asshats, deleting crap, making stuff happen, writing quality articles, and sorting shit out. Of course, as he's a Zionist, it's all part of a wider conspiracy to control our very thoughts, but that's probably a small price to pay for such an efficient admin. Old School Featured Article of the Week I'm a dick. A private dick. That's like a private dancer but with a gun and dances cost extra. That's how we do it in the detective game. It's a game like Clue, but without the cards or the board. Just the dice. And they always come up snake eyes. The name is Gwendolyne. Last name's not important. All you need to know is my friends call me Gwendolyne. My friends are bourbon and ice and I haven't spoken to ice in years. Translated Uncyclopedia Article of the Week Drill Sergeant in Mexican. ¡UN INSTRUCTOR DE ENTRENAMIENTO ES LO QUE CARAJOS SOY! ¡DESDE AHORA NADA VENDRÁ DE ESA INMUNDA COLADERA LLENA DE CACA QUE USTED LLAMA BOCA! ¡SÓLO RESPONDERÁ CON 'SÍ SEÑOR' O 'NO SEÑOR'! ¿¡ENTIENDE RECLUTA!? Read the original. The welcome(?) return of Cajek ban of the week 09:46, 7 January 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Cajek, you have no idea how wasted I am. 15 shots of gin and somehow I'm still awake. And blocking you. Fuck yes.)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

MrN9001 16:02, 9 January 2009 (UTC)

(Penis, Cock etc. Witty comment etc. Would you like your pizza back etc. Other stuff etc. Porn etc.)

(I'm back a little bit. Just don't rely on me for sex because I may go away again or I might get run over by a truck, or something cool like that. But go ahead and get re-attached to my cock.) As you can see I've returned armed with witty sex remarks, such as COCK! And therefore I will make it my purpose in life to mention SEX (or something similarly unattainable to me) in every sentence. - [13:23 12 January] Sir FSt Don Yettie

Cool deal. Good to have you back though, mate. However briefly it may be. Also, boobies. Aparently I need to get into those. Everyone keeps telling me I have the wrong idea, when it's the rest of the world taht's insane not me -- I'm just humouring them. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 17:37 12 January 2009

Aww...UU's dreamy. - [17:40 12 January 2009] YYettie

I kno rite! I bet he was on the football team when he was at school, all those years ago. /Me swoons. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 17:42 12 January 2009

Basketball team actually. Bastard USAins taking everything, even our men. - [17:45 12 January 2009] YYettie

God what is it with you fags and Zac Efron? U.U. is twice as old as him at anyrate. /goes off to wank. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 17:48 12 January 2009

And there we have conclusive proof that your are TEH FAG. Because we all know the "first person to mention Zac Efron is TEH FAG" rule. - [17:51 12 January 2009] YYettie

Seriously Yettie don't delete stuff from messages, comment it if you must play around but don't delete it breaks all teh rules of UnPrv. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 17:53 12 January 2009

Select-A-Reply: Sorry, I won't do it again. | I like it when you're angry, it's sexy. | Yes, I deleted it. And you know what? I ENJOYED it. You know the bit I really liked? It was when I pressed the backspace button and I heard the sentence scream. Oh yes it screamed. And I enjoyed its screaming. | - [18:00 12 January 2009] YYettie

There. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 18:02 12 January 2009

Oooh yay sex! Maybe we should take my turbo charged V8 for a spin? - [18:05 12 January 2009] YYettie

Aw but I just got my anus refurbished after last time! ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 18:10 12 January 2009

Refurbished? Sound sexpensive (wow that's the best mistype I've ever made). Does it have double glazing? - [18:13 12 January 2009] YYettie

umm...

I need to clear some stuff up... um... I was jumping around looking at peoples Talk Pages when I came across something. Apparently, I am engaged to You and Miss YTTE. I dont know how this happened, (must have bin drunk/drugged) but I am confused. So, today is the 12th... umm... hah. O_o - ReddFighter Talk!| 22:49, 12 January 2009 (UTC)

Yettie's using the {{USERNAME}} template meaning that where ever that is used your name will appear. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 22:51 12 January 2009

ooooooooooooooooh, k... Whoow. *wipes his forehead in relief*. Scared me. I thought you or Miss YTTE drugged me there. k, Im good now. XD - ReddFighter Talk!| 22:59, 12 January 2009 (UTC)

I don't do the drugging it's her. And then she forces me -- under threat of castration and such -- to rape things. It's not a good existance but mutual hatred is at least stable. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 23:09 12 January 2009

Ummm.... no comment... - ReddFighter Talk!| 23:10, 12 January 2009 (UTC)

That's what youu'll tell the police isn't it mate? You wouldn't rat me out would you? ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 23:33 12 January 2009

no... only if I had a gun to my testicles would I rat you out... I think... - ReddFighter Talk!| 23:39, 12 January 2009 (UTC)

Go go go! She'll come back -- could be here any second -- get help! ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 23:40 12 January 2009

umm... ok? *runs down to the police station, wildly opens the door.* "SIR! I NEED HELP!" *the police officer walks over* "What." *sweat is running down my face* "My friend needs help! A crazy woman is going to make him rape and do naughty things to random people, and then... then... *gulp*... they are going to get married!!!" *The police man falls over, , unconscious...* "Sir?" *he gets back up* "We will help your friend, but hurry and get back over there!!!" "Yes Sir!" *runs back* "... huff... um... huff... the police are on there way... *cough*..." - ReddFighter Talk!| 23:49, 12 January 2009 (UTC)

Hmm? Did someone call me? -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 01:51, 13 January 2009 (UTC)

And I also used a most beautiful piece of wikicode to make the date always be tomorrow. And also, Orian, I MADE YOU STRAIGHT. - [09:18 13 January 2009] YYettie

I'm not sure it's that beautiful. I look forward to it advertising a wedding on the 32nd January... --UU - natter 09:39, Jan 13

What's wrong with the 32nd of January? Sounds like a great day for weddings! - [09:41 13 January 2009] YYettie

You mean... you... don't know? My god, your lack of knowledge will doom us all! --UU - natter 09:45, Jan 13

What are you gonna tell me some shit about like er...I dunno there only be 31 days in every month? Ha! Please, next you'll tell me that Father Christmas doesn't exist. Please! I laugh at your ridiculousness! - [09:47 13 January 2009] YYettie

aaah, ok, I'm back from the bathroom... Wow... this conversation has exploded or something... Oh, and Miss YTTE, Father Christmas dosnt exict, anymore. He used to, until corporate America arrested him for trespassing, and mostly sneaking into children's homes to give them, well, "presents." Sorry to tell you this. The Wedding sounds great though, hurry up Orian! - ReddFighter Talk!| 19:25, 13 January 2009 (UTC)

Dear sir, I think you have broken your link. You seem to have mistakenly linked the word "presents" to "penis" - this could confuse those that click on the link, as a penis is quite different to a present. Unless, of course, you are talking about a penis-present. - [19:30 13 January 2009] YYettie

ummm,,, the broken link is the point. I just hid the true reason of what santa "gave" little kids. its like this- Santa give little kids pleasure by giving them his presents. For example. Thanks for giving your concern, though. (oh, and yes, i was talking about a penis-present). - 216.64.172.165 19:36, 13 January 2009 (UTC)

S***! forgot to log in. I'm so lazy. O_o - ReddFighter Talk!| 19:38, 13 January 2009 (UTC)

I'm afraid, sir, you've done it again. You've linked santa to Satan... which can only be a mistake, surely? From what I've heard Santa is not affiliated with this "Satan" you speak of. - [19:40 13 January 2009] YYettie

aaaaaaaag, never mind... I won't explain it... - ReddFighter Talk!| 19:46, 13 January 2009 (UTC)

Dear sir, I'm afraid I must alert you, again, to incorrect linking. In this case you have linked explain to something called "Uncyclopedia:Beginner's Guide to Being an Uncyclopedian". - [19:52 13 January 2009] YYettie

never mind... :| (ps, Orian, help her out???) - ReddFighter Talk!| 20:01, 13 January 2009 (UTC)

What's Orian? - [20:14 13 January 2009] YYettie

??? You know, Orian57... Orian... YOU KNOW!!!! ag, never mind. YOUR CONFUSSING ME!!! STOP! AAAAAAAAAAAAAG!!! - ReddFighter Talk!| 20:19, 13 January 2009 (UTC)

AHAHAHAHA! Y SO SERIOZ? - [20:25 13 January 2009] YYettie

Allow me to intervene: you're all faggots. Redd, red links are never okay. If you want to link to a page that does not exist, either link to another page or create a redirect. Orian, be straight. Yettie, be a boy. SysRq, be condescending and intrusive on other people's talk pages. All of you! MARCH! —Sir SysRq (talk) 21:18, 13 January 2009 (UTC)

I resent that acusation! Unless yettie is a girl in which case I may have to slightly reconsider my sexuality. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 21:22 13 January 2009

to Sysrq, YOU JUST USED A RED LINK!!!!!!!!!!!! lolololololololololololololololol!!! - ReddFighter Talk!| 23:03, 13 January 2009 (UTC)

I feel really popular all of a sudden. It was like that time I had cool people in my house and they asked my mum for drinks, played my X-box and didn't talk top me. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 23:18 13 January 2009

You had an X-box? Sire それは驚くばかりの性交である!! -4- (00:29 01-14-2009)

No actually i made that up so the metaphor would work better, none of the cool people would go near a gamecube. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 01:01 14 January 2009

Aye, I did use a red link. And I did so with pride so that other links may live. It's called sacrifice, son, and without it we would have nothing. Now help me make some soap, space chimp. —Sir SysRq (talk) 14:35, 15 January 2009 (UTC)

Stop!

"Did I do it right?" I don't remember a "stop" before that bit in "Fat Lip"... Unless that was irony, for some reason? Speaking of irony (wanders off back to forum again). --UU - natter 10:20, Jan 14

No, no irony; I just didn't how to play. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 10:24 14 January 2009

But that didn't stop you joining in anyway? I think that's why I like you (in a totally heterosexual on my part, friendly, let's make make it completely clear I'm not in any way ghey, kind of way, of course!) ;-) --UU - natter 10:39, Jan 14

And yet in the real world I'm just as shy and spineless as everyone else. Went to go get new shoes just now: I'd scouted out prices last night so I knew exactly what I was getting, and where. I walk into the shop and head straight for the £21 pair that are absolutly no different from my current pair except they're whiter and don't have stones embedded in the sole.

"Can I help you?" By now I already feel like I'm messing up her day -- this just makes me feel more guilty.

"Just wanted to buy these cheep shoes." I say holding the model out in a half hearted way.

"That's no problem." -- Of course it's a fucking problem! Stop being so damned nice -- I'm clearly being awkward here. She dissapeares into the back to find the pair I so rudely demanded. A minute or so later she returns. She takes the box over to where I'm sitting -- at least a metre out of her way! -- and then unpacks my shoes for me so I can try them on. They aren't the same as what I asked for but they'll do. I kick off the old pair. That's it make yourself look twelve, fucking wank -- could have untied them at least. Quickly I put on the new pair, they feel slightly uneaven but that's just because they're new. Probably.

"Yeah these seem fine." I say standing up and making my way to the till to pay.

"Oh do you want to wear them now?"

"Yeah, if that's ok?" I ask, wondering if I'm breaking some new shoe-buying etiquette.

"Yeah it's fine,I just need to check they're both the same." -- What are you a mong? Of course they're the same!

"Sure thing" She analyses the shoes as I stand in my socks.

"Oh right this one is a UK7 and this is actually a UK8." She informs. "Good job I checked, I'll just get this pair sorted out for you."

"Oh I didn't notice, sorry. Thank you."

"And that's £21:45 please." -- It's what!? The shoe said £21!

"I can do 21:26?" I say rooting in my pocket for loose coppers.

"Oh yeah that's fine." --HA! Whose the looser now! You're 19 pence down in a recession! I'm litterally doing my part to bankrupt you! -- oh god what if she looses her job because of me?

And that actually happened. Although I am touched by your liking me. :) I'm all embarrased now. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 12:09 14 January 2009

Insomnia

Pure genius

Why thank you mr/miss (but probablt Mr) IP, not very often I get random praise, thanks! :) ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 17:44 14 January 2009

YAYYY!

"Vote or die", says Diddy. I'M SPESHUL!!!!! J-Shea 05:19, 15 January 2009 (UTC)

Since we're resorting to open whoring on UGotM: you know who you really want to vote for, Orian! Unless you've already voted for someone else, then whatever, no more sex for you, straight boy. - [17:01 15 January 2009] YYettie

First come first served -- Girl pants ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 17:02 15 January 2009

No fair -- Perfectly normal hetrosexual male young adult! - [17:36 15 January 2009] YYettie

Shh! I don't want them knowing my secrets. Fair enough if you want to come out but I'm not ready yet. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 17:38 15 January 2009

1. Elephants.
2. Bananas.
3. Sex.
4. PROFIT!
5. - [18:01 15 January 2009] YYettie

Oh word association I love this game!

1. cock.
2. cock
3. cock
4. cocks in suits.
5. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 18:04 15 January 2009

UnSignpost 15th January

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Better sign it.

January 15, 2009 • Issue 31 • Making the New York Times look like Mad Magazine (or is that the other way round?)

From The Desk of the Cabal: Incest and sex change are now bannable offenses From the desk of the cabal. Embedded with the last person who came looking for the cabal Following the sex change operations of citizen (now citizeness) Yettie, and several suspicious sexual activities in the Uncyclopedia compound, the Cabal hereby decrees the following: Sex changes are only allowed if the citizen wishes to become a voluptuous female. Any other operations are banned (particularly those who wish to become males, or just more manly looking, in order to improve their chances of scoring with various Uncyclopedians of either gender). Any sexual activities with family members is strictly prohibited. Exceptions are: members of the AAN family members, who can shag aunts and granddaughters as much as they'd like. Sex tax is now in affect. All sex acts taking place in Uncyclopedia are taxable. Taxes should be paid to Olipro no more than 24 hours after the act has taken place. Acceptable currencies are: Euros, Dollars, Pounds, Young Boys and Camels. Thank you citizens, this message was not delivered by the Cabal which does not exist. Behave nice, vote on VFH and obey the Cabal. The Cabal is your friend. Or it would be. If it existed. Pee Revuu? In a surprise move, Boomer, former dictator in absentia of PEEING, the group for opinionated users who enjoy nothing more than giving a good Pee Review, has announced his official retirement. His last official act was to appoint Under user, noted reviewer and maintainer of the Pee Review committee page, to his old position of Captain Catheter. Some regular pee reviewers are worried; Orian57 was heard to say "If UU is going to do Boomer's job, then who the hell are we going to get to do UU's old job of keeping track of pee reviews, judging the quality of pee reviews, and actually getting around to doing the occasional pee review? Don't look at me, I'm gay." UU himself dismissed such fears, pointing out that he's got nothing better to do with his time than arbitrarily judge the quality of other people's opinions anyway, and adding "I'm relieved to be taking up this position as it will drastically reduce the number of reviews I'm expected to do. Also, I'm thinking of introducing a policy of stripping Orian57, and only him, of his RotM award, his rank, his mittens and his right to drink hot chocolate ever again unless he does a bloody review some time soon". However, some users are still not convinced this is a good idea, or even possible. One, speaking on condition of anonymity, said, "I seriously doubt that UU can do Boomer's job and his own at the same time. I mean, how can he be accused of being a lazy arse if he has almost twice as many good pee reviews as anyone else and does 75% of the pee review maintenance tasks? This ruins the running pee review committee in-joke about Captain Catheter not doing anything. There is no way this can work."

Check out these pages! Rcmurphy of the Year Mooses pops back for some bandwagon action The reason for 4pedia From our logs: 08:25, 13 January 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Tardman (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (I love being a cunt, it makes my hair glow) 23:58, 12 January 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 218.186.12.218 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Replacing a page with 'Hey uncyclopedians, edit this please' is basically the same thing as replacing it with 'Hey uncyclopedia admins, ban me please.' Talk pages are your friend. Blanking is not.) 01:06, 12 January 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 86.135.165.198 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Hey! I remember you! You evaded that ban that one time, remember? Good times, man, good times.) 15:17, 10 January 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Modus Operandi (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 months ‎ (1 month for being an ass, the other for that stupid username.) Biopic of the Week It's hard to define the singular entity known as Modusoperandi in mere words. He's like Uncyclopedia's wandering troubadour of amusing non-sequiturs: roaming the land in search of discussions worthy of his absurdist input, sitting by the campfire of the conversation, treating those assembled to another whimsical one-liner, and then heading off toward another exchange where his presence is required. Kinda like the Littlest Hobo, but with jokes. And lots of awards, featured articles, admin powers and suchlike. VFD Delete vote of the week Delete How many half-baked, stale jokes can we fit on one page? More importantly, how can something be stale and yet only half-baked? by Syndrome on Awesomeness. Transatlantic jaunt of the week After many months in the hands of that most malevolent of dictators, the United States date format, the New Year allowed our stand-up English editor to put the UnSignpost printing presses on a 747 to what this journalist considers the correct British format! Rejoice! (Note: What you paid for this paper may or may not have gone on the presses' ticket. We don't know. It may also have gone on that booze over there.)

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MrN9001 21:30, 15 January 2009 (UTC)

I'm Back!!!

You probably don't even remember me but hey, I need to talk to someone and you're the only one kind enough not to sue me on stalking charges so... Hi. Sgar Tri3~Talk 16:55 19 January 2009 16:55, 19 January 2009 (UTC)

Oh sorry, I'm just done slitting Orian's throat because I decided that I would viciously assault Orian in a sexually provoked attack. Really sorry about that. But you can move his arms and use him a puppet, if you wish. A bleeding puppet... - [17:01 19 January 2009] YYettie

You're sick. Hey Tri! Course I remember you, my favourite noob! What do you want to talk about? Serious Issues and stuff or just general prattle about 24? ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 18:07 19 January 2009

Ha ha, look Trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrri, the dead body is talking! Ha ha ha! - [18:13 19 January 2009] YYettie

Stop it you're scaring him. You and you're new lady parts. Except they aren't real. You're a boy. Oh and why didn't you get a skype? then we can actually talk. Same for you Tri, get a Skype account and then we can talk like a phone for free. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 18:38 19 January 2009

“You and you're new lady parts”

~ Orian57

. I assume you meant your new lady parts. Ha ha, he can't even gramarize properly! Ha ha *snort* ha! - [19:03 19 January 2009] YYettie

At least I'm not a bastard. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 19:17 19 January 2009

At least I don't have two marbles and a cardboard toilet roll. - [19:26 19 January 2009] YYettie

I have a penis one testicle and a marble actually. You just have a rough slit between your legs after teh back street sugery. and it's infected. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 19:30 19 January 2009

Oh gosh? How did you know?! - [19:31 19 January 2009] YYettie

Because I'm a clayvoiant. I also know that your great great great grandfather doesn't aprove of your dress sense and that his aunt Elizabeth is disgusted at your fag-loving morals. She wishes you were dead so she could spank you and restore honour to the family name. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 19:34 19 January 2009

When did Yettie change sex? Sgar Tri3~Talk 23:31 19 January 2009 23:31, 19 January 2009 (UTC)

About a week ago, though I'm still not convinced he's a girl -- it would make all my perverted fantasies more perverse, or less if you're conservative. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 23:52 19 January 2009

what up with your sig?!? oh and are you working on any article right now? what was your most recent one? Sgar Tri3~Talk 16:32 20 January 2009

My sig? This is my seventh. I change them when I'm bored see. I'm got half a mind to re-write the LazyTown article cos it's just cruft at the moment. And I've been thinking of writing Neurotic because I am, aparently. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 16:40 20 January 2009

If you're not actually neurotic, you speak it fluently. --UU - natter 16:46, Jan 20

Well it is my first language. Because like, yesterday my phone rang and I didn't answer it in case it was somebody I didn't know that didn't want to talk to me so I would avoid the feelings of regection. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 16:49 20 January 2009

Maybe I could help you if you want. Sgar Tri3~Talk 21:18 21 January 2009

Oh yeah, like collab? That could work, did you read what I read up there about skype? it might be easier to brainstorm over that. either's fine though. Do you have any ideas for articles of your own or that we could both work on? It's just I have bassically both of those that I mentioned worked out in my head. try looking here for some of my vague notions on things that coudl be funny, and see if you think any could work. Also did I mention it's good to have you back? :D ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 21:32 21 January 2009

I did notice there ain't a Katy Perry article and considering how much material she's given us...... Oh and I can't get skype right now, I am renting this apartment with this girl and we still don't have a telephone. We have to talk in our cellphones for everything:( Sgar Tri3~Talk 22:18 21 January 2009

Skype is over the internet, and it's free. or are you still on dial up or something? And Girl? I'm not judging or anything but I am not having a straight noob. As for Katy perry I know almost nothing about her beyond her music and even then only that I like it (despite my gaiety I have litttle interest in the lives of the rich and famous). And I'm always wary of celbrity articles, they tend to get vandalised alot. :S ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 22:36 21 January 2009

I AM NOT STRAIGHT!!! I AM NOT EVEN BI! I AM A GAY MAN DESPERATE FOR SHELTER! anyway she is my best friend, ONLY! Sgar Tri3~Talk 22:43 21 January 2009

While we are at it, I have a confession: I am in the closet. Sgar Tri3~Talk 22:50 21 January 2009

Ooh, do you think there'll be enough room for me to join you? - [22:58 21 January 2009] YYettie

XD I'm not sure if you meant that to be a funny sentence or not but it was. And how far in the closet? like so far the girl your living with dosn't know or sort of out to frineds but not family? Also You clearly have internet access of some sort (or are you at a library or something? (lol I just said bra)), so look into skype. There's loads of uncylopedians on it. You too yetters, even though you did EC me and might have changed your gender I still love you. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 22:59 21 January 2009

She doesn't know, nobody does. We have this off-and-on relationship even though we always come back to being friends although she always says that as soon as I buy a house we are getting married and I am cool with that. Sgar Tri3~Talk 21:15 22 January 2009

Dude, are you being serious? If you are then I think you're doing entirley the wrong thing. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 21:59 22 January 2009

Wait we need to establish something first, before we go about using the term 'wrong thing'. How big are her tits? - [22:25 22 January 2009] YYettie

No, I'm not having lesbianism on my talk page. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 22:34 22 January 2009

Lesbianism? Where? Where? I have a nailbat and I'm not afraid to nail me my first lesbian! - [22:36 22 January 2009] YYettie

That's the spirit. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 22:39 22 January 2009

They're big, and so is her butt but I don't really care about that. Anyways, I think I've come up with a good idea for an article from this discussion. What about an article about a closeted gay guy's wedding? maybe something funny could happen in the end such as another closeted gay guy he's been flirting with crashing the wedding and coming out. It'd be funny to see the reactions of the guests, (which would include his own parents and his bride's parents) and the reactions of the bride. Tell me what you think. Sgar Tri3~Talk 18:16 24 January 2009

So is this art immitatating life? That's new take on things -- whatever it does sound liek a great idea, I'm kinda busy for the next day or two though so it might have to wait. What about titles? My Big Fat Straight Wedding? Lying is ok if it Makes You Miserable? Either of those? And stop ECing me! Just spell it right the first time! ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 19:01 24 January 2009

Ive created a page to plan the article. Here is the link. Could you help me come up with an ending to the first rough draft? Oh from now talk to me about it on the planning page's talk page. Sgar Tri3~Talk 21:05 24 January 2009

Hey

Ya I left a message on UUs page but I would really like a review if you would be willing to do that. Thanks!--Tagstit 22:14, 21 January 2009 (UTC)

Ah no problem, I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking U.U.! Although seriously I just have almost everybody's userpage on my watchlist. Helps me become a much more efficiant nosy neighbour. ;) Also it might have to wait to tomorrow possibly the day after, I just have a few things to do. but other than that I should be fine to do it, be good to get back in the game. Also it's good to see a new user sticking around! ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 22:40 21 January 2009

Thanks alot, I was joking about the stalking haha. And ya whenever you get to it will be great. Just tell me when and I will put it on pee. I don't want someone else doin it before you get the chance to. ;)--Tagstit 22:51, 21 January 2009 (UTC)

And here I was hoping you're stalking me via UU's pate. sniff ~ 22:58, 21 January 2009 (UTC)

well yes but of a by product of religiously reading U.U's talk page. Sorry :S I can stalk you too if you want. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 23:01 21 January 2009

My talk page is where the most discerning users drop by to make the most interesting conversation... --UU - natter 09:43, Jan 22

Yeah, MY talk is where most disturbing users drop by to drop their pants, drop a load and walk around without even saying thank you. And NO one ever stalks me. ~ 09:54, 22 January 2009 (UTC)

Whatever happened to...

...UnProvise? That was such an unbelievably awesome idea! Why did it bomb out? We need to rape some life into it, I feel. I don't know how. But we should. We really really should. It just needs some effort, sunlight and water. It's probably sexually frustrated as well. But mainly, effort. Any smart ideas? Maybe we could sponsor Man Utd? I hear a position has opened up there... - [23:10 21 January 2009] YYettie

Girls can't rape. And I, along with everybody else, forgot about it. And I'm almost certain I don't care anymore. Sorry. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 23:17 21 January 2009

No comment. - [16:38 22 January 2009] YYettie

I am sorry I just think it's one of those things that was a good idea at the time. :| ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 16:41 22 January 2009

Stepdad

Time for your review! Ill put it on Pee.--Tagstit 21:37, 22 January 2009 (UTC)

Ah yes. I'm on it! ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 22:03 22 January 2009

Sweet! tell me when your done!--Tagstit 23:03, 22 January 2009 (UTC)

Will do, shouldn't be too much longer. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 23:06 22 January 2009

Alright cool--Tagstit 23:09, 22 January 2009 (UTC)

Review

Thanks alot for your review, I found it very helpful. You should start reviewing more often.--Tagstit 16:49, 24 January 2009 (UTC)

That's no problem and I am currently doing a review, I've remebered I rather enjoy them. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 17:02 24 January 2009

Woo hoo! --UU - natter 18:08, Jan 24

Of course UU will have to start paying me in small sexual favours. Like hugs. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 18:09 24 January 2009

Enter Snuffleupagus

I'm Snuffleupagus! [makes furnace noises through snuffle] f-f-f-f-f [in a normal voice] Get out of bed! [pokes Orion with snuffle, Orion jumps out of bed] --Snuffleupagus 18:23, 24 January 2009 (UTC)

Ok. I'm realy not sure what else to say, other than remember to add new headers when starting a new topic. And welcome? I've not seen you aroudn anyway, you're new to me. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 18:47 24 January 2009

Oh and I've just noticed you spelt my name wrong. Grr. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 01:44 25 January 2009

Misspelling is sexy. - [13:13 25 January 2009] YYettie

No yettie it really isn't. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 13:16 25 January 2009

ORION! ORION! ORION! ORION! ORION! ORION! ORION! ORION! ORION! ORION! ORION! ORION! ORION! ORION! ORION! ORION! :P - [13:37 25 January 2009] YYettie

Oooo! naughty boy. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 13:44 25 January 2009

Thanks for the review of Damsel In Distress!

I was thinking the same thing about how some items just kind of....end. I had used a bunch of various quotes and pieces of real HowTo's as crib notes that I slowly built into concepts and paragraphs. At least I've had a few days of not looking at it so I can go back slightly refreshed, with your review, and finish the sucker. I'll check back in with you afterward. Thanks again--    01:41, 25 January 2009 (UTC)

Absolutly no problem. Like I said it's a great article just needs finishing and some re-formatting. :) ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 01:45 25 January 2009