User talk:Trrri333

Hello, Trrri333, and a very good afternoon/morning/evening to you. Thank you for deciding to sign up to Uncyclopedia and I hope you wish to stay. If not, all you have to do is chew through your own fingers and retrieve the key from your eye to escape. Before doing anything though, may I suggest you read the following links?

• Beginner's Guide
• How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:Trrri333/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well. A good idea before doing any writing for here would be to read (thurougly) HTBFANJS.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply put {{adoptme}} on your Userpage to join. Again, welcome! 

Now that's all the official stuff out the way why not also visit some of these other useful links:

• Pee Review -- should you decide to write something it may be an idea to put it up for review. Reviews are a requirement of you wish to self-nominate an article for highlight but also is a good way of gauging how good your writing is and how you can improve it (if need be). Also if you choose to do a review for someone else at the same time be sure to read the Pee Review Guidlines.
• Userboxes are a fun way of decorating your user page and conveying information about yourself (like if your a girl or gay or whatever) but are by no means necessary, and you are not obliged to tell us anything about you if you don't want to. In fact a user page isn't necessary but they can be fun, look at other people's user pages for ideas.
• Also there are a few cults around here and user space pages that you can join in with that are good for making connections with people (But again aren't obligatory).

Do seriously visit my talk page if you have any additional questions or even if you'd just like to say "hi", I don't bite, honest.
SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 20:27 12 August 2008

Join The CMC! Make Your Inner Cow Happy!

Moo, Trrri333!

What is it about cows that gets us all hot and bothered? Where do cows come from? What are cows?

These are the questions that drive the Cow Moo Cult and its brethren, who are very, VERY interested in cows and cow by-products.

The CMC is devoted not only to cows, but to helping Uncyclopedia through general acts of goodness and through motivating people with cow-treats and the like.

So, Trrri333, why not join the CMC? It's free (unless you count virginity as money) and it's fun (and it's full of clichés)! You'll get a pretty template for your userpage and a nice title for your signature! What could be better? Sign Up Now!

Double moos from your cowy friend,
Orian57

So...

What's up? You having fun around here, granted it takes a bit of getting used to (and you have to bare in mind alot of the banter around here is just that, don't take offence at stuff). Just thought I'd whizz by and check how things were, you got any ideas for articles or anything yet? have fun! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 21:28 16 August 2008

Join the UnOrder Today!

~ Readmesoon

UnOrder Awards

Dear Trrri333, the monthly awards for the Unorder of Uncyclopedia are now open nomination and voting. You can nominate your fellow UnOrder Members for Weiner of the Month (UnOrder Writer of the Month), b00b of the Month (UnOrder n00b of the Month), and Recyclopedian of the Month (UnOrder Uncyclopedian of the Month). Thank you and have a nice day! ~ Readmesoon

Thanks

Rory would like to thank you for voting! "That was a smart move, kid" he says implying that anything else would not be smart and may wind you up underneath a particularly heavy doll's house. Oh well. Anyway, thanks for voting for on this!

Also how are things going? Remember just ask if you need a hand! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 11:37 31 August 2008

I am fine, thanks. Trrri333 16:45, 2 September 2008 (UTC)

That's good to hear. but do remember the indents with the colons. Also do you have any article ideas or anything you want help with? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 21:16 2 September 2008

???? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 12:10 3 September 2008

I suck, I know. Trrri333 19:34, 5 September 2008 (UTC)

Doesn't everyone? Though - speaking as a virgin - I prefer to get sucked. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 20:14 5 September 2008

Can you help me get a fancy signature. 3333 21:03, 8 September 2008 (UTC)

Wow what a way to change topic. And I sure can I'll create it here and then tell you when I'm done. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 21:20 8 September 2008

Actually few questions to run by you: whats your favourite colour and are their any colours you have a particular aversion to? Do you want teh rainbow flag too? and is tehre a style of sig you've seen around that you quite like? if yes; whose? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 21:46 8 September 2008

My favorite colors, not "colours", (I speak American English) are red, white and black. And yes I'd be fine with the flag, as long as it goes with the sig's colors and it looks good there. For example, the flag goes great with your sig because of the colors and font, but it might not go so great with my new sig., (I am a perfectionist.) 3333 19:39, 9 September 2008 (UTC)

I wrote a UnNews article! here is the link. Please help me make it funnier, add pictures and maybe feature. Please!!!! 3333 20:09, 9 September 2008 (UTC)

Oh and another thing what do you want your name to appear as. I think "Tri3" is kinda cool or do you just want the four threes you've been using or your full title? Also I am moments away from reading your UnNews (taht girl better be a dyke at least, we'll have none of this conforming to heteroseual norms) and have to say I'm intrugued. Also also I wrote this and it's on VFH so if you'd read that and vote that'd be great. And breathe.

"Tri3" is awesome! and I'll read your article once I am done here and vote. thanks for all your help. Oh by the way, did you notice that I am now part of the italian mafia, (partly thanks to you). Tri3 23:35, 9 September 2008 (UTC)

Welcome to the Family!

You made the right decision by joining, Trrri333. Just asking, do you go by any other name? Anywho, as a mafia member you can add {{mafioso}} for an exclusive Mafia userbox. Most mafioso hang around the bar, and try to keep an eye on the Family's news. Business aside, I see you're a son of Orian! Orian's my uncle... or something. -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 23:20, 9 September 2008 (UTC)

Awesome dude, thanks. By the way I go by Tri3, (since about 3 minutes ago). And yeah, I am Orian's son, (although I am still wandering how, since he is gay). 3333 23:26, 9 September 2008 (UTC)

Haha, I know what you mean (I don't even have a "mom") so I suppose we're all adopted :P By the way, I go by Regret or RT if you're really lazy. -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 23:39, 9 September 2008 (UTC)

Wait I thought you said somewhere that you were gay too? Or was that one of my other prodogies? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 23:32 9 September 2008

I guess homosexuality is hederitary cause I am gay too, (or at least bi). Tri3 23:37, 9 September 2008 (UTC)

Either that or it rubs off on you cos you're adopted :P -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 23:39, 9 September 2008 (UTC)

Now RT that was mean. Tri You are. Adopted but, yeah... Also Meth is bi. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 23:44 9 September 2008

Sorry, sir. the shame, the shame -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 00:07, 10 September 2008 (UTC)

I can't even go to a porn site for five minutes without getting a message. Thank You!!! You interrupted my masturbation. Tri3 23:43, 9 September 2008 (UTC)

Porn!? We'll have none of that in this household mister. What will the naigbours think? And what do you think of this?

Sgar Tri3~Talk

To me it looks kinda bare but you don't have any titles or anything (except maybe in the mafia ask someone like RT about that) Any suggestions? Cult symbols or anything? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 23:51 9 September 2008

I am insulted. I am in the order of Uncyclopedia as a Casserole or whatever. Oh and it does look good, I want it. Tri3 23:58, 9 September 2008 (UTC)

Well, you could tag on "Wiseguy" with a mafia link on the front of that, if you want. Also: EWW... -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 00:04, 10 September 2008 (UTC)

That sounds cool, we should do that, thanks. After all the Italian Mafia and the order thing are the only cults I've joined. WiseguyTri3 00:08, 10 September 2008 (UTC)

You sure? Well If you're happy with it then click on that link at the very top of the page that says "My preferences" There you will find a box titled "Signature" Inserrt this code

{{subst:nosubst|User:Trrri333/sig}}

And click the "raw signature" signature box. If you'd like to only use three tidles then insert this:

{{subst:nosubst|User:Trrri333/sig}} ''<small><span style="color: magenta;">{{subst:CURRENTTIME}} {{subst:CURRENTDAY}} {{subst:CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{subst:CURRENTYEAR}}</span></small>''

Though feel free to change the colour and size and ittalics if you want. And if you want that Wiseguy thing infront of your sig get RT to help as I don't know the link. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 00:10 10 September 2008

Hey Regret, can you help me put "Wiseguy" in front of my sig. Here's the link. Tri3 23:58, 9 September 2008 (UTC)

Done! :D (Also, thanks for finding the straight flag I've been wondering about, Orian! does that mean?...) -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 00:27, 10 September 2008 (UTC)

Oh geeze RT I think I just pissed myself. There actually isn't a straight flag. I made that up (in MS paint no less) to illustrate the lack of colour in the Hetero Lifestyle. Although it does go nicely with your sig. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 00:32 10 September 2008

Well, I appreciate it. I've always wondered why there isn't a straight flag (or straight-pride parades) so... yeah, thanks! Also, I disagree. The hetero life can be very colorful! All it needs are the right ingredients. Perhaps we should continue this somewhere else, I'd hate to interrupt Tri3 while he's trying to jack it again -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 00:47, 10 September 2008 (UTC)

My place? I'll make hot chocolate? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 00:48 10 September 2008

Sure! See you there! -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 00:55, 10 September 2008 (UTC)

South Park Gallery?

I gave you a link to this in the welcome message but I just thought I'd remind you about it seems you're going to stick around and anyone whos anyone is there. It doesn't matter if your a fan of southpark or not just use the thing U.U. says to use on that page (there's another link). Also did you get your sig set up??? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 14:23 10 September 2008

Cool, now check it- Sgar Tri3~Talk 19:14 10 September 2008 19:14, 10 September 2008 (UTC)

Also, I made new edits to my Unnews article. Check it out and tell me how we can get it featured, because I think with the new edits it is good enough to be featured as a Unnews article. Please help me!! Oh and I put a pic on the gallery and voted against your article. I am all done with my to-do list. Sgar Tri3~Talk 20:13 10 September 2008 20:13, 10 September 2008 (UTC)

Did you? Cos I can't see any new ones... The south park gallery, right? And you voted for my article. And I'm still uneasy about the Arnie still being there. And I doubt other people will see it as featurable. That's not to say it isn't good. Just might be better to move onto something else. Maybe ask Yettie what he thinks. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 20:44 10 September 2008

Everyone gather round!

Now, sit in a cirle -- hurry up. Make sure you can reach the person next to you. Now lets unzip our pants and pull them down to below our hips. And underwear too, though you shouldn't really be wearing them at all. Now place you hand on the penis that belongs to the person on your right. There, now we begin. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 00:39 12 September 2008

Oh! So this is what circle jerking is. I see. -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 00:44, 12 September 2008 (UTC)

*Grabs RT's exposed penis* Kinda *stroke* in *stroke* the *stroke* name *stroke* really. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 00:48 12 September 2008

Yeaaaa!... I see that nooow ow! not so rough But before I just had no ideaah! ah! AH! -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 00:59, 12 September 2008 (UTC)

*Does things with fingers that you'd never be able to recreate at home* Oh look you've stained Tri's carpet now! Oh well you're teh one with OCD, you clean it up. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 01:02 12 September 2008

*Claps approvingly with one hand to the neck(since my other is on Orian's dick)* Hooray *stroke* for *stroke* that! *stroke* *stroke* *stroke* Sire Methamphetamine! 01:12, 12 September 2008 (UTC)

Ack! Who's got the steel wool and cleanser? *stroke* *stroke* -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 01:28, 12 September 2008 (UTC)

Ah! ah! Ah! bath- Ah- Room. ohhhh. Bathroom cupb- Ah- ard. Get Lube! Arrghhghg! I'm on fire! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 01:46 12 September 2008

What the hell?????!!!!!! Can't you do this somewhere else!!! Sgar Tri3~Talk 20:38 12 September 2008 20:38, 12 September 2008 (UTC)

Why *stroke* would *stroke* we *stroke* do *stroke* that? /has stroke SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 23:00 12 September 2008

/me calls 911 We wanted you to be a part of the circle jerk, duh. Yes, Orian had a stroke. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS DOESN'T COVER OUR INSURANCE? JUST GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE! Sire Methamphetamine! 23:15, 12 September 2008 (UTC)

Orian! Orian! Do you hear me? What's 2 plus 2?! Can you move both sides of your face?! Can you stroke me one last time?! *stroke* gasp! He's gonna make it! -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 23:23, 12 September 2008 (UTC)

<quotes> I want to die fucking </quotes> SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 23:29 12 September 2008

Um... he needs more morphine! -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 23:31, 12 September 2008 (UTC)

Shut up! You're not the Wyoming Widow, for god's sake! You'll really kill him! Now zip your pants back down because my left side... oh crap. /me has stroke Sire Methamphetamine! 01:00, 13 September 2008 (UTC)

Godammit. *zip... -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 01:39, 13 September 2008 (UTC)

Laughing At Lesbians

Blue Power Ranger thanks you for voting! So you liked my tale of displeasure, huh? That's nice. Hey, maybe I could write a book about it! Before long I'll be outselling Pelzer!

So you thought the lesbian joke was funny? But what else? I really need to know what was so great about it! Oh and about the ubove, you know we're just messin' about right? Go read methy's talk page to see why we came here. Pun intended. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 01:52 13 September 2008

Yup. I replaced your carpet and everything. -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 01:55, 13 September 2008 (UTC)

No, but seriously, read it. Sire Methamphetamine! 01:59, 13 September 2008 (UTC)

I hate you guys!!! specially you Regret!! Why did you clean the carpet??? Sgar Tri3~Talk 16:59 13 September 2008 16:59, 13 September 2008 (UTC)

Geeze Tri don't have an anurism. Or do, personally it might be worth getting Regret's attention. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 17:05 13 September 2008

Hey, You could have participated, but you were out hanging with your friends. We're all good strokers though. More people in jail than any other country Sire Methampheta mine! ENGLAND! 18:31, 13 September 2008 (UTC)

I'm sorry? I gather you liked white stains? -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 18:25, 13 September 2008 (UTC)

I had a collection of "white stains" in that carpet. It was full of great memories. The only good thing I see came out of it was Regret, (get the pun?, came out). Sgar Tri3~Talk 21:33 13 September 2008 21:33, 13 September 2008 (UTC)

HAHAHA ... wait. what? ... NO! It's just that I think masturbation is weird. I'd rather have someone else do it for me. -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 22:10, 13 September 2008 (UTC)

It's okay. When I figured my favorite part of gym class was when we all hit the showers I was confused too, I used to think I was straight, but then I saw the light and now are fine with my sexuality. Sgar Tri3~Talk 22:18 13 September 2008 22:18, 13 September 2008 (UTC)

Masturbation is for when there is no one else around to do it. Luckly you have me. *Grabs regrets slightly undersized package* SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 22:19 13 September 2008

Regret, now that you found out you are gay, or bi, you need to properly learn to be gay. Orian, would you like to give him, (and his dick), the first lesson? Sgar Tri3~Talk 22:24 13 September 2008 22:24, 13 September 2008 (UTC)

Oh christ, now you've put me on teh spot. You properly built it up into some giant thing -- like I am some kind of sexpert. What if I do something wrong now? It'll be ten times as embarrassing! Oh... SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 22:27 13 September 2008

I wish Methamphetamine was here, he could be so much help. Sgar Tri3~Talk 22:31 13 September 2008 22:31, 13 September 2008 (UTC)

Oh what now you're saying I'm second best?! way to make a guy feel special... SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 22:33 13 September 2008

I just meant, that since you wouldn't do it nobody will, cause I ain't doing it, I mean him. Sgar Tri3~Talk 22:35 13 September 2008 22:35, 13 September 2008 (UTC)

Orian, let go of my bodacious package. I'm straight. THE END! -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 22:38, 13 September 2008 (UTC)

Pft Bodacious. Average at best, although straightness is a good excuse. scientific fact that gay men have bigger penises. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 22:46 13 September 2008

Averagely Huge! -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 22:47, 13 September 2008 (UTC)

No. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 22:50 13 September 2008

STINKING HOMOPHOBE LEAVE!!! weep, weep.. 76.112.29.4 22:51, 13 September 2008 (UTC)

Lol wut? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 22:53 13 September 2008

Who the fuck was that? -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 22:55, 13 September 2008 (UTC)

I dunno but he's right, RT. Either convert or leave. You filty hetero. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 22:56 13 September 2008

I have my hands ready! What happened? More people in jail than any other country Sire Methampheta mine! ENGLAND! (23:13 09-13-2008)

So... what? I can't hang around T3's place anymore? -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 23:20, 13 September 2008 (UTC)

Oh you know i was just having one of my mood swings. *sniff* I love you *hugs*. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 23:23 13 September 2008

Of course you can still hang around here, Regret. Sgar Tri3~Talk 23:24 13 September 2008 23:24, 13 September 2008 (UTC)

Hi, I'm here. What else did I miss? More people in jail than any other country Sire Methampheta mine! ENGLAND! (23:25 09-13-2008)

Yay! I can stay! *hug* -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 23:30, 13 September 2008 (UTC)

Oh, Regret came out. That's all. Sgar Tri3~Talk 23:27 13 September 2008 23:27, 13 September 2008 (UTC

In your (wet) dreams! -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 23:32, 13 September 2008 (UTC)

There's always living in my closet. More people in jail than any other country Sire Methampheta mine! ENGLAND! (23:34 09-13-2008)

You know what's great? Boobs. -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 23:39, 13 September 2008 (UTC)

Get in my fucking closet. (Pun-intended) More people in jail than any other country Sire Methampheta mine! ENGLAND! (23:47 09-13-2008)

We'll have none of that sorta talk here. Speeking of which we need to work on our UnBook. And Methy We need to start. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 23:44 13 September 2008

Which username are we gonna start it at? Mine or yours? More people in jail than any other country Sire Methampheta mine! ENGLAND! (23:49 09-13-2008)

Whichever. Mine I suppose as I'm hot stuff right now. Though I think we shoudl talk about what we're really trying to do a bit more on my talk page. I'm having doubts about the concept. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 23:51 13 September 2008

Okay. More people in jail than any other country Sire Methampheta mine! ENGLAND! (23:51 09-13-2008)

Cool c ya. Sgar Tri3~Talk 20:46 16 September 2008 20:46, 16 September 2008 (UTC)

CMC

Welcome, Trrri333, to the Glorious Cow Moo Cult!

You're in! You clearly fit these requirements and the Cows, obviously, smile upon you. You are currently a "Mud Grunt" by rank. You can officially put the {{User:YesTimeToEdit/Mgr}} template wherever you want on your userpage or talk page and can add "Mgr." to the beginning of your signature.

Your cow duties include...
Watchlisting this page
Promoting, whoring and inviting people to the CMC - you can use this to help you
Following any CMC orders

I'm happy to answer any questions here. Oh and it's advised you read these (loose) rules. You are now one of the few with the Cows on your side.

Sorry for such a long wait!!

Let the moo be with you!
Moo moo moo mo mooo moo!

- [21:05 16 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie

Hey!

Why isn't Methy on your list of people to make more popular? Oh and hi! Hows you doing? *whips out penis and starts jacking off* Well? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 00:18 19 September 2008

More to the point, why aren't I?! Huh? Oh and by the way, I don't think we've talked much...*sticks out a most manly hand*...I'm Yettie. Aww crap, got the wrong hand...*sticks out a slightly slimy, seriously un-manly hand*. - [16:46 19 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie

You are such a fairy Yettie. Oh and Tri if you don't tell us to stop this could go on forever. if you do we'll probably ignore you but at least you can say you tried. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 17:17 19 September 2008

It's like your parents having sex in front of you and you pleading them to stop. - [17:27 19 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie

Thanks, Yettie. Oh, and Orian do you bother the other noobs you adopted as much as you bother me?? Sgar Tri3~Talk 22:13 19 September 2008 22:13, 19 September 2008 (UTC)

*gets down on knees* PLEASE LIKE ME!!!! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 22:34 19 September 2008

Don't take advantage of the fact that he's on his knees! Things will only get worse! -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 23:28, 19 September 2008 (UTC)

*Rapes RT* SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 23:55 19 September 2008

See What I mean!? mah ass hurts... -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 00:03, 20 September 2008 (UTC)

I do like you, but I just dislike how much you bug me for things like this. Sgar Tri3~Talk 00:35 20 September 2008 00:35, 20 September 2008 (UTC)

sorry, just messin about. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 00:43 20 September 2008

Rape's not serious business anymore? - [07:30 20 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie

Shhh! No talking! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 13:40 20 September 2008

The thing is that everytime you put something on my talkpage you are expecting a great answer, and I can't give you one. This one of those times. Sgar Tri3~Talk 19:35 24 September 2008 19:35, 24 September 2008 (UTC)

I don't expect anything, really. Was jsut trying to include you, and stuff, cos I know it can be hard trying to fit in here when everyone already knows everyone else, like in a local bar. Also *cough hack cough* I have the flu and so do you now. It's catchy see. ;) *cough*. And yeah, you ever need help with an article or whatever just come find me. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 20:04 24 September 2008

I just don't have time for Uncyclopedia anymore. I am going to take the SAT in January, and I am trying to get a job at some Tennis and Fitness club, and it's just toooo much. Sgar Tri3~Talk 20:55 2 October 2008 20:55, 2 October 2008 (UTC)

that sucks. =( Well I hope you get your job and do well ect. Have fun! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 21:06 2 October 2008

Sgar Tri3~Talk 16:30 20 January 2009

Oh hi there

Have you voted on the Top Ten of 08? it's just I have two articles on there One of which I'd really like to make sure get's in. Care to donate your vote? Also Hows that article going I've not seen it in my watchlist recently. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 20:47 30 January 2009

Why do you just so happen to not be here?

I was on a forced wiki-break after my dad sold our computers and somebody wouldn't let me use his. He caved. How are things? My UncyclopedianAnniversary "Celebration" (16:30 06-19-2009)

Dear Valued Mafia Member,

Dear Valued Mafioso,

I am very sorry to be encroaching on your talkpage. Please feel free to move this message without incurring the wrath of the mob. You are, whether you remember or not, a member of the Uncyclopedia Mafia. Unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances, the Family has been inactive recently. However, members of the Family believe that now is the time for our little business to burst back into the spotlight.

Mafia 2.0 promises:

• MORE violence
• MORE whores
• MORE gambling
• MORE guns
• MORE pointless awards
• MORE positions to be filled
• MORE of an actual purpose

The Mafia Pledge:

The Uncyclopedia mafia hereby declares its intention to be a family business dedicated to welcoming, socialising with and being friendly to new users, in an attempt to integrate them into the Uncyclopedia community, offering help to any Uncyclopedia user who wants assistance and looking to promote merriment within the Uncyclopedia community.

As a current member we are proposing that you should help the Family, once more, by becoming an active member. We humbly present you with the following options:

1. Simply reply here, saying you are willing to continue being a member of the Mafia.
2. Sign the code {{u|<insert name here>}} here to opt out of the Mafia.
3. If you do not reply within ten (10) days you will deemed inactive and stripped of your current full Mafia membership.
4. Reply here saying you are willing to continue as part of the Mafia and then request one of the several senior roles within the Mafia that need filling at my office.

As of 21:43 7 August 2010 the following roles within the Mafia require filling. If you would like one of the positions please request it at the above mentioned office.

• Personal Secretary to the Don (with special privileges)
• Capo Bastone (deputy to the Don)
• Chariman of the Italian branch of the family
• Capo Bastone Delegato (deputy to the Capo Bastone)

Yours Sincerely,
Don Mr. Antonio "Snowmobile" Yettie
[18:29 7 August 2010]