User talk:Lollipop/archive 4

Pop the popcorn

It's month three, and I celebrate by getting banned for 5 years from Conservepedia. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 01:32, 17 April 2011

Just like how you banned me? I'm not a n00b, or whatever other trendy internet bullshit expressions exist out there. I did plenty of good things here before (such as create International Batman is Gay Day, as well as consult How to be Funny (And Not Just Stupid), a thousand times before I was born, so sorry, it's just your opinion, not anything to do with me. Why don't you check out what I did on that other page, to see more of how I REALLY write things? -The last bloke you said "n00b" to.Clinja Pirate

Someone's got their panties in a bunch. You aren't even banned and Lollipop isn't an admin. (talk) 02:31, 17 April 2011

I wish I was an admin. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 02:32, 17 April 2011

Oh yeah, one more thing that needs to be cleared up, All that I've done here WASN'T That One thing you put up a link to, in addition to the aforementioned Batman link, I also did at least several other pages, including much of the John Goodman page, just thought I'd give out some more info/clear things up, much like Larry the Cable Guy, another Nothing has done. Can you please respond, so that we can discuss this some more? -Some guy whose panties aren't in a bunch, just trying to clear things up. I'm not even pissed, just responding to your own message. Why did you even send me a message if you didn't at least THINK that I would respond? Please fucking respond to me, a specific pointing out of what I did would be handy for some good ol' fashion feedback. – Preceding unsigned comment added by 24.17.234.42 (talk • contribs)

Please create an account, and we'll discuss this further. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 02:45, 17 April 2011

Hey, I already read it from that other guy, and I don't think too much of you one way or the other, just that most of what I put up, esp. in the aforementioned links, has been up for years without being taken down, or even editted more than a fucking little bit. I figured I'd point that little nugget out to you, and I won't judge you too much (at least until I get to know you a tad more), but I just figured I'd point out a few things, and set thigns straight. -Guess who? Another Canadian.

Also, I've already got an account, User:Meteo, just for yet another thing to point out, of which I've at least partially proven by now. -the Mortal Meteo Archon, still Canadian, last time he checked, anyway. HEY, LOLLIPOP, DID YOU THINK I WAS LYING??? JUST SPEAKING UP, RIGHT FUCKIN' 'ERE!!! -This (Just to show you more of who I am)) Canadian

So, I've shown you my Hey, you asked for it, Guy, I'm just giving it right there, so please please please (3) can we talk?, as well as My Other Work, so can we talk some more, if you're not going to talk, please at least communicate it to me, both plainly and comedically (You can go ahead and tell me it comedically, I'm not Politically Correct or anything, 'right 'thr...

...Panties still aren't even in a fuckin' bunch, and still (somehow) not pissed, just fairly willing to communicate, and such. -THE OTHER CANADIAN, you know, the anonymous, paranoid bloke.

For Tim Hortons (By the way, Tim Horton is a Name)

Here I am, all North American, thinking, I wish everyone could be like Canadians ((Don't know if EVERYONE should, but some people should, particularly Red Green. -Near-Omni Ed from Pee-fuck)))). They are all so nice to one another. They teach the world to sing. They filled us with joy during the last Olympiad. Now the two of you just scrapping like a Gator and a Croc (both different species, by the way -ed) that's why they're fighting, just makes me sadder than a hog in the desert. Can't you all just get along? The future of Canada depends on it. Do you think the fine folks, back in the 50s, would have started the Swiss Chalet if they knew this was how Canadians would speak to one another in the teens of two thousand? Harvey himself is probably crying into his cup of Tim Horton's coffee, and thinking of drinking a 40 (excuse me a 1.183 Liters) of Molson or Labbat. What about the children of Canada that look up to the likes of you two for leadership, and Canadianhood? Sure you both are (Couldn't go without even editting this one; from ar to are. -A Clown) ( | ) accomplished writers, and sometimes name calling is all in good fun. But when Tim Horton's fine coffee is bespoiled by the tears shed over that of fighting Canadians, someone needs to be the better man, and Canadian up and be nice. UN:ABF --K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 03:22, April 17, 2011 (UTC)

It's whether or not the name is accurate, that and the fact that names are a basic part of language that three-year olds can get is why I (along with my penis) am not retarded enough to do, by the way, when did a name ever get used here, and since when did children decide to look up to me for leadership? They mostly only look up to me for fart jokes, and such. -Canadian Man, from Kinnikuman.

Holy shit, Americans stepping in to keep the peace. Someone take a picture. Mateo, just please sign your posts when you write on a talk page. If you don't, it's hard to tell what you wrote and what the next person did. Those 4 tildes at the end of your post helps everyone out. Also, don't edit what other people say on a talkpage; you can get yourself banned for that. Lollipop, maybe you should re-familiarize with rule #2 of this before saying stuff like this because it doesn't matter what you think of this writing or if you think he's better off elsewhere. Both of you, what the hell is this all about anyway? ~  Talk 03:46, 17 April 2011 (UTC)

Hey, I'm part American too, and I already sign my posts, as far back as 2007, and we were chatting about my personal history. He sent me a message, and I was just replying, that's "what the hell" this is all about, if this one doesn't reach you, that's okay, I'll just post this on your talk page, just to help make me a tad more clear.

Excellent on the part-American thing (or maybe too bad?). Unfortunately, that post was unsigned: if you're logged into your account, write ~~~~ at the end of whatever you post on a talk page, and your signature will appear, along with a timestamp. Yes, it's that easy. As for how this started, I'm A) Not an admin and B) I'm not going to put in my two cents until I see for myself what happened, so I'll need a little more to go on. If you can provide a link of whatever happened in 2007 that'd be great, but I doubt you'd be able to get a hold of it quickly, so let me ask you this: Assuming the "he" you just mentioned is Lollipop, when did he send you this message? ~  Talk 04:02, 17 April 2011 (UTC)

My wikiskills have decided it was the n00b template LP put put on the talk page that was used to make the above above unsigned comments by ipanon. But that is only a guess, but fits all the criteria. --K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 04:06, April 17, 2011 (UTC)

Tim Horton was a hockey player. He was a defenceman for the Toronto Maple Leafs and a few other teams. Hall of famer too. Died in a motorcycle accident, he had already started the donut buisness. Such a shame. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 17:03, 17 April 2011

Welcoming users

Please, think about what you're doing. When you welcome folks, yours is the face Uncyclopedia presents, something to try to get them to stick around and improve and generally become better users and writers and general whatnot, and something to help them through the learning. Your 'welcome' messages, however, are not exactly that welcoming, and and if you cannot back up the offer of help, then perhaps you should not be one to welcome at all. I say this because your main one is not even properly formed - you have mislinks that could cause more harm than good, as well as questionable grammar and rather misleading syntax, such as the bit about the construction template.

That said, more concerning is what you actually say, what causes me to question how welcoming you are actually being. In your main welcome message, you say, "I was too busy making articles unlike you" - What do you possibly hope to gain by calling the person you're 'welcoming' gay, and while also disregarding anything they may have written, as they often have, in a put-down that insinuates that you think they're not worth your time? That is essentially what it is, and that is what you're doing, and it serves no one.

As for your other message, no. Just no. That is not what we do here; we do not ask users to leave, no matter how problematic they are being. If it's serious, take it to an admin; they have both the experience and the means to resolve matters in a more appropriate manner. For vandals and idiots and the like in general, however, there is the {{oh dear}} template to warn them, but it is in fact more useful links than warning... and it is more often for users who are actively causing issue than ones who are simply not the best writers around, a distinction that perhaps you might want to consider making in the future. 1234 ~ 04:04, 17 April 2011

What this person said. Your drafts of these welcoming/warning templates aren't that great and more importantly the second one pretty much misses the point entirely. {{oh dear}} doesn't ask users to leave. Always give someone the benefit of the doubt, unless they are really, really disruptive - at which point they'd be banned anyway. I'm asking you to please stick to the generic templates for the time being. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 06:01 Apr 17, 2011

I'm not using the "Hello" thing anymore. It was a stupid idea. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 16:56, 17 April 2011

Yes, yes it was. And please don't use the other one, either, at least not until you're capable of actually making improvements with your modifications to the original. Just use {{subst:welcome}}. 1234 ~ 17:29, 17 April 2011

I have a special welcome thing. Why can't I use it? It dosen't say "go away" or anything. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 17:30, 17 April 2011

I know you do; that's sort of the problem. It's not so much that you can't use it, however, as that you really shouldn't in its current state. If you can fix it, and I mean really fix it so that it's well-written, helpful, and about them instead of about you, that would also be acceptable. Please pass it by me or an admin or some such before using it if you do, however. 1234 ~ 17:56, 17 April 2011

Here. Go over it with me here and we'll discuss it further. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 18:07, 17 April 2011

Here's my take on it. "Sorry, I was too busy making articles unlike you." If I was a new user, my first reaction would be "Well, fuck you." This post is the first thing that a new user sees and is, therefore, going to have a huge impact on whether they stay or not. I remember when Zombiebaron put the welcome plate on my talk page; I felt like I already had someone I could go to if I had a problem or a question. It felt good; I felt welcome. Your welcoming puts down the new user 3 times in the first paragraph alone. "I was too busy making articles, unlike you" not only makes a needless and derogatory joke, but also pointlessly reminds the new user that they've done nothing yet. They don't need to be told they're a n00b, they already know it and they need support, not a demeaning joke that isn't even funny. Then you throw an Uncyclopedia in-joke at them, the Russian-Reversal, that they might not understand if they haven't been reading the site very much. If you come across what you know is a joke, but don't understand it, how do you feel? Kind of dumb, right? In the first paragraph alone of your "welcoming post," you've told that the new user is dumb twice, and gay once.

The next little bit is okay. The bullets provide useful links and information. I'm not a fan of "We're all not maids you know," but it's not directly demeaning, so I'll let it slide.

The next paragraph, about what articles to write, could be useful. However, the fact that two of your four articles are "Fuck ChiefJusticeDS" and "Whining in Modern Day Hockey" kind of eliminates all credibility you have on the subject. And the fact you only have four in total puts into doubt your first claim; "I was busy writing articles unlike you." Moving on, later in this paragraph, you mention the practice of writing articles in the user space and then moving them into the main space, which is a good thing for new users to know. However, the way you phrase it is confusing, and your description of how to use the {{Construction}} template is incorrect: if a user makes an article on a user page he/she doesn't need the construction template. Only if they make something in the main space and want to make sure it doesn't get QVFD'd do they use the construction template.

The first sentence of the next paragraph can work very well, but only if you're going to follow through on what you're promising to do. If you say you'll be around for new users, you better be there if they have questions. The part about imaginary friends is, again, needless. These are new users, they're insecure, they're in a new place, trying to fit in. They don't need to be hit with jokes about who they are, no matter how harmless you might think the joke is. The reference to AAN is good, but don't refer to it as an orphanage. An orphanage has a negative connotation to it - when most people hear "orphanage," they think of dark, scummy places straight out of a Dickens' novel and we want new users to want to go to AAN.

Lastly, the final two paragraphs of the welcoming post can be completely deleted. This post is about the new user; you're there to welcome them into the community, not tell them all about yourself and what you say you do. I find it very telling that this is the longest section of the post you have here; it tells me that you're only going around to new users' talk pages and posting this message to let users know about who you are. The fact that you talk so much about yourself while welcoming other users suggests, to me at least, that putting this post up is less about welcoming new users than it is about letting new users know about you, and that isn't very welcoming at all. ~  Talk 18:43, 17 April 2011 (UTC)

I've written much more than 4 articles. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 19:07, 17 April 2011

Honestly, it really doesn't matter how many articles you have written, or have had deleted, or never made it out of userspace; the fact of the matter remains that he kind of hit what is actually wrong with the thing, as well as what needs to be fixed up, square on the head, if perhaps a wee nit more bluntly than was actually required. If you want to use this message, fix what he mentions, and then fix up the grammar in general and it should be a lot better. For the grammar, at least, you can also get a proofreading from someone else if you need, though this would have to be after you resolve the other issues. Also, it'd probably work better (and be faster) if you made it into its own template, say, User:Lollipop/welcome, like the main {{welcome}} so you can just subst it directly. I can help you with this after the other issues are addressed, if you need. 1234 ~ 19:48, 17 April 2011

Island thing

I just peed on something you wrote. I apologize profusely for that. I'll attempt to control my bladder in the future. No promises though

Here's your review. (talk) 04:16, 17 April 2011

What Island?

Sorry, Lollipop, I bothered to explain myself and respond when you talked to me, either you talk back to me or not, but I at least managed to communicate with college-level fucking english here, so I can at least go to the grave knowing that. Don't know how any of the Faggot stuff got started, but I didn't say dick about whether or not you WERE a fag, whether or not you ARE one, that's Not the sort of thing that can be accomplished by attacking names alone, but I'm not here to discuss that, nor do I particularly give a shit. I"m not going to talk to you much about it, but if you had explained a little more of what I typed, it would have been handy. I'm going off to do some other stuff now, but I figured I'd set things straight just one more fuckin' time, just before I leave (to look at some other web sites, then head to bed (unintentional rhyming or not - doesn't matter).

See you later (still don't know where any of this faggot shit popped up, I didn't even say anything about that.)

The lover of fine Bat-things since before '07

Meteo (not Mateo, Meteo, as in "Meteor", Japanese Pronounciation)

Sorry we got off to the wrong foot. Maybe if I make you a sig, then things may clear up. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 16:57, 17 April 2011

Hey, that's interesting, thanks, we'll have to move slowly, but maybe we can chat again someday. -BACK IN THE SHADOWS, or something.

There you go, do it for Canada and Pizza Pizza--K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 17:32, April 17, 2011 (UTC)

I Am Canadian.

-- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 17:54, 17 April 2011

I love the video, that whole "we're a separate country thing y'all do, is a laugh riot. I have to wonder, is everyone in on the joke? What is the audience that you guys are trying to pull the wool over, and by wool, I mean beaver pelts. Although in a pinch, woodchuck pelts will do. You may be Canadian, but Guelph is pretty darn southern at 43° 33' 0" N , I was born north of that by a number greater than 0, at 44° 56' 39" N. --K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 18:05, April 17, 2011 (UTC)

I hope to move to the U.S. of A. soon. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 19:05, 17 April 2011

Bring the polar bear, we love polar bears, matey. --K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 19:54, April 17, 2011 (UTC)

Rocky? Sure, i'll bring him. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 22:47, 17 April 2011

Time is coming to whore the last couple votes for People Who Like to Fuck Naked on VFH, and I hear that a few Canadians have been seen fucking naked (rumor mill dredge), so I thought since you and the polar bear share some of the same traits, maybe you could read the page with an open mind and an open zipper. There, I've said it. Polar bear. Thanks! Aleister 10:40 18-4-'11

Rocky and I used to go on naked romps when we were young. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 21:53, 18 April 2011

Robots : Death for all humans

Do you really want to unleash the kind of horror and destruction able to be caused by an improperly programmed robot?
For reals, for the loe all all things - just say no --K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 03:54, April 19, 2011 (UTC)

If the ronot is going to randomly pick up kids, then I will make a bot. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 20:10, 19 April 2011

Life story

HAHAHA!! I really liked your life story. Congratulations for winning the prestigious "Maniac of the Month Award"! Looking forward to more hamburger-favored lollipops. Mattsnow (talk) 23:21, April 20, 2011 (UTC)

I didn't win it, Mimo did. And how do you know about hamburger lollipops? You're not a sockpuppet, are you? -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 23:37, 20 April 2011

What? I went to your shop and saw the flavor. Paranoid much? lol Mattsnow (talk) 23:53, April 20, 2011 (UTC)

Okay, good. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 23:57, 20 April 2011

I am at present writing User:Mattsnow/Heaven's Gate, feel free to go look at it fellow Canadian! And you, are you in the process of writing something? I feel you need a hot-dog flavored lollipop. I wonder how you do to edit those templates. (Still learning) Mattsnow (talk) 00:30, April 22, 2011 (UTC)

For font colors go <font color=red>, if you want red. For template backgrounds i'll show you later. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 00:45, 22 April 2011

No, that is not how one changes the colour of the text... get with the times, man. <span style="color:red;"> - that's actually compatible across browsers. Unless they suck. But in that case you're doomed anyway. 1234 ~ 16:43, 22 April 2011

That's the other way. I only use span style sometimes. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 16:44, 22 April 2011

The font tag doesn't work on newer browsers. It's deprecated, and it has been for years; please don't use it. 1234 ~ 16:54, 22 April 2011

I use both Mozilla Firefox and Internet Explorer. It works there. But I use span style sometimes. I'm an old style Uncyclopedian and this is how I roll. I'm as old as you, in fact. I've been hanging around here as an IP since June 2010. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 17:01, 22 April 2011

Continuing to use stuff according to old standards is all well and fine when it's only for yourself, but in a medium such as hypertext tht displays for everything, you're just helping force developers to keep supporting pointless excess redundant code. At very least don't encourage others to do that as well; they are not the same code and not the same functionality. 1234 ~ 17:55, 22 April 2011

User:Lollipop/UnNews:Boy loses his toy boat

Sorry, this one has nothing. Not based on any real news, topic wouldn't be news, only marginally reads like news, and is not funny, just a little quaint. Please try again. Spıke ¬ 11:10 22-Apr-11

It was supposed to be satire, but I wasn't kind of thinking about what I was typing. Thanks for your consideration, i'll try again. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 16:06, 22 April 2011

I thought it was adorable. I got it immediately. But it does not fit the format of UnNews. But we could think of launching UnWeeklyReader - I am not being condescending here. I liked the story, just would never know where to put it. Put it on your blog, tweet the heck out of it, maybe it will go viral. --K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 16:31, April 22, 2011 (UTC)

That brings an idea. Kev, meet me on your talkpage, I have an idea. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 16:32, 22 April 2011

I added stuff to it. I hope you like it. What do you think? It is a great concept. It just needed some jokes. Mattsnow 18:20, April 22, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks man. Because you did that for me, I give you a lollipop. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 18:30, 22 April 2011

I want a hamburger flavored one! Did you really like the adds? If so, happy to help! Tell me anytime you want me to check your work. The boat thing was well written to begin with. Mattsnow 19:39, April 22, 2011 (UTC)

And maybe keep the snowflake the way it is, it's just that "Mattsnow" is fading in the white backgound. Mattsnow 19:41, April 22, 2011 (UTC)

Enjoy your lollipop. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 19:42, 22 April 2011

Nomnomnom... Hmm it tasted great! Mattsnow 20:09, April 22, 2011 (UTC)

That UnSignposty thing

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

In Pure Russian Fashion, The Newspaper That Reads YOU!!

April 21st, 2011 • Issue 117 • Please don't immerse this periodical in water.

VFS update By Chief As is customary when a VFS is running, the UnSignpost has chosen to shun the various non-events that have punctuated the week and is instead filling the space by updating you with information that is freely available to absolutely everyone elsewhere. Remember: we click links and read words so you don't have to. At the time of going to press, VFS has not yet lurched into its 4th and final phase, so we have called in experts to predict which horses users will make it into the final furlong of this, the ultimate race to lifelong servitude and misery. Earlier this week, our correspondent sat down with RabbiTechno and a gentleman named Fred, who assures us he is not in fact Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (these are our experts, in case you weren't sure). In lieu of doing any real work, we have reproduced the interview here: RT: Good day Fred: Where am I?? Get this sack off my head! USP: Fred, don't struggle; struggling just makes the poison spread faster. Now Rabbi, who do you think will make it through to the final round of VFS? Fred: Socky for admin! Argh the pain! RT: Well I must say all the chaps and fellows competing are absolutely splendid. I have watched with baited breath as they have competed in the spirit of manly competition, the girding of the loins and the splendid grunts to show us all they are trying. Despite that, two prime specimens appear to be distancing themselves from the pack. This Sockpuppet fellow certainly plays with a straight bat and it wouldn't surprise me if he hits it for 6. Fred: Woo! USP:Rabbi, do you mean you think he will make it into the next round? RT: Oh yes, that said, the burly fellow following him, this Lyrithya lad, certainly seems to have the spunk to go all the way. USP: Lyrithya is supposedly a female, Rabbi. RT: Nonsense! How could a woman carry out all the manly tasks necessary? She'll be pruning her eye brows and trimming her nose hairs the whole time. Fred: Nonsense, I think she will be a splendid- What?? RT: Women have to prune and trim or they wilt and die! You've seen sheep eating grass, women are like that except they use these little tubes of pink stuff. Sheep are also noticeably less woolly. Now answer me this! Where will she hang her breasts at night if we appoint her?? USP: Quite true. Fred: Is everyone here mad? Have either of you ever met a woman?? USP: No, I've seen them on the internet though! RT: My mother was a woman... we were introduced when I was 7. Does that count? USP: Fred, what about the other nominees, do any of them deserve it more than the two leaders? Fred: None of them are sandwiches and that is what this site and society in general sorely need. USP: Rabbi? RT: All splendid masculine fellows, except perhaps Magic man, regrettably they lack the range of this Sockpuppet fellow and this... woman. My conclusion must be that only Sockpuppet and Lyrithya will proceed to the next round. Fred: Sandwiches. USP: Thank you both of you, you can go home now. We'll unlock the shackles in a moment. So there you have it; our editor seems happy that there is a meaningful conclusion in there somewhere, though good luck finding it. Be sure to look for updates to VFS here and nowhere else next week. Editors note: While you are all aware that this is hilarious, we must stress that the opinions above are either based very loosely on what those users have said or have been completely made up in the name of hilarity. It's true. Socky's name isn't Fred at all.

Check out these pages! Disaster! Despair! Doubt! A forum from 2006! From our logs: 17:09, April 18, 2011 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 70.90.95.41 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (uh huh, you sure "hacked" that page alright) 14:57, April 16, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Ed Refugee 2: Electric Boogaloo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Sockpuppet/having a username that offends my Christian sensibilities) 09:00, April 15, 2011 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked 149.144.196.243 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (faggot faggot faggot faggot FAGGOT. SAYING IT MORE MAKES ME MUCH COOLER THAN ALL MY OTHER FAGGOT FRIENDS.) 19:25, April 13, 2011 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked 207.63.250.3 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (you're so vain you probably think this ban is about you. oh wait, it is!) 14:56, April 15, 2011 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 123.176.14.40 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Nothing here, either - merely a space where there was once an idiot) 04:35, April 14, 2011 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 86.8.106.90 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Take that, the Netherlands!) Biopic of the Week It seemed incredible that we hadn't delved into the psyche of Frosty before, and now that we have, we must face the gaping black hole of choices for biopics again next week (honestly, we did a biopic on a chair a few weeks ago, it's that bad). Anyway, Frosty, well I've spoken to him and looked at his userpage, and wishing no offence to him, he's a bit nuts. He's so mad about maintenance he has a little book where he records each vandal added to Ban Patrol along with details of the offence and other priceless information. If he's not doing that he is on his talk page being generally tenacious and refusing to be put off by the voices of doom that surround him; he just won't quit! He's everywhere I go; I went to vote on VFD the other day and he was there, arguing that an article needn't be deleted: sacrilege! I went to VFH to do some voting and there he was, voting and otherwise irritating me with his tenacity. So if you have a free moment why not drop by his talk page and tell him he's doing everything wrong, you'll fit right in with everyone else! Alternatively, bring a video camera and your book of articles you've added to QVFD and, in my judgement, the two of you will only incriminate yourselves. Aperture Science Handheld Featured Article Device Portal is a single-player Source-engine first-person science-fiction puzzle-action meme-causing smart-alec scalp-tearing video game by Aperture Science, dba (doing business as) Valve Software. An innovative, not overly long, well-written, critically acclaimed, award-winning game that pushed the boundaries of how gamers perceived a game's environment and physics, it is mostly known for cake, the Companion Cube, and that song at the end. A sequel, Portal 2, was announced and demonstrated at E3, and has already received critical acclaim and awards before its release. Thing we should probably mention Stuff is happening with Encyclopaedia Dramatica. Uncyclopedia is still the worst.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 07:18, 21 April 2011

Hello!! I'm back!!!!

You miss me?? I've got out of the belly of a Grue. And in fact, I'm here to stay, after I fix up my userpage. Tell Trar I got off the punishment early. Have you finished 2012 II yet?? I've still got loads I'd like to add. Anyway, could you add me to Twenty stories of Banned Users?? Thank you. （・∀・） - LOL vandalz 15:47, April 22, 2011 (UTC)

First of all, why were you fooling around with vandal socks. Stupid, stupid, stupid... -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 16:05, 22 April 2011

There are many, many, complex reasons as to why one would do that.... But I beg for forgiveness. - LOL vandalz 16:47, April 22, 2011 (UTC)

Hi, and welcome back. I would like to know the reasons too, not for critical reasons, just curious. Socks, I can see, and do on most dates, but the vandal part interests me. You are like a researcher who can tell us plenty of tips about vandals, like hiring a safecracker to protect safes. Thanks, and have fun here again! Aleister 16:52 22-4-'11

Well, ED is gone so we won't have any of that shit. Plus, we've gained a ton of users here because of ED closing. Buisness is getting better! -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 17:02, 22 April 2011

Erm, no it is not. There are countless mirror sites, one of the most popular (and the one I prefer) being http://encyclopediadramatica.ch (NSFW). Just you google search "Encyclopedia Dramatica" and there are at least 100 mirror sites available for your pleasure. - LOL vandalz 17:09, April 22, 2011 (UTC)

Durrr...don't edit conflict me to make a stupid thing nobody will see! -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 17:11, 22 April 2011

And what where you going to write of that?? - LOL vandalz 17:12, April 22, 2011 (UTC)

That we have a former EDian in the section above named Mattsnow. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 17:14, 22 April 2011

Well that's nice to know, that I'm not a fucking OUTCAST because of it. Do you like Encyclopedia Dramatica, BTW?? - LOL vandalz 17:17, April 22, 2011 (UTC)

No. I was happy to see it go. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 17:32, 22 April 2011

Yes, but what replaced it was even worse. - LOL vandalz 17:35, April 22, 2011 (UTC)

I vomited for an hour straight after seeing a picture of Girlvinyl's ugly ass. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 17:35, 22 April 2011

LOL, Lollipop, you still have not posed pics of your red hot girlfriend! :P And don't forget, those pics were taken before she ate herself to whale-status! Mattsnow 12:40, April 25, 2011 (UTC)

Says you, I'm the sort of person who finds goatse erotic. Yes, I am a sick fuck. - LOL vandalz 17:40, April 22, 2011 (UTC)

I find goatse erotic? I don't that's disgusting. Maybe you should of been banned infinite. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 17:42, 22 April 2011

I said I was the one who found goatse a nice little image. Quick change of topic, have you finished OTR yet?? Just saying. - LOL vandalz 17:47, April 22, 2011 (UTC)

Not finished yet. How's 2012 II coming now? Aren't you going to finish it? -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 17:48, 22 April 2011

No, if I had the time it would be finished by now, But....

2012 II, The ACTUAL video game

Since Monday this week, I have been working for 2 hours a day on one thing: 2012: The Game. What? I hear you cry, but I own a Commodore 64, and I know BASIC. But I decided to make an actual Text-based adventure game based off of my favourite Uncyclopedia game. It is around 42% finished and is called "PA-22.bas". Are you surprised?? I've put a lot of effort into making it work. - LOL vandalz 17:55, April 22, 2011 (UTC)

PA-22.bas? Huh? -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 18:13, 22 April 2011

Wouldn't it have been easier to call it 2013, The actual video game? --K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 18:17, April 22, 2011 (UTC)

Well, I went to the intense effort to write an IF, you should just appreciate it. Also, "PA-22.bas" was the longest filename the C64 would let me have. - LOL vandalz 18:20, April 22, 2011 (UTC)

How about "2011: The Ban Another n00b game". -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 18:29, 22 April 2011

Why are you obsessed with my untimely demise?? - LOL vandalz 18:31, April 22, 2011 (UTC)

This conversation is over. Please leave the room. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 18:56, 22 April 2011

Conversation over what?? Where not really talking about anything. - LOL vandalz 19:00, April 22, 2011 (UTC)

Exactly. Shoo! -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 19:02, 22 April 2011

One more thing

Could you please please PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Fix {{2012 II map}} ??????? I'm trying to do it in the vein of this, but the ASCII graphics are all wrong. Could you get yourself or Magic man to fix all the different faults in the visual graphics?? Please please help. Thank you. - 20:06, April 22, 2011 (UTC)

I'll be making a one with better graphics. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 23:04, 22 April 2011

I was thinking of it maybe looking not looking very ugly, along with the centering issues fixed. Colour, perhaps?? - LOL vandalz 10:53, April 23, 2011 (UTC)

Colours... Yum... Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz 16:04, 26 April, 2011 (UTC)

Big Book of Lollipop Stories

I am not sure if this counts as Vanity or not, since IU started it of my own ideas.
Big Book of Lollipop Stories I figured you could put your original work there, and it would like the works of Faulkner only sweeter--K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 20:49, April 22, 2011 (UTC)

Yes, it does count as vanity.

But so does this. Keep it around!! - LOL vandalz 20:58, April 22, 2011 (UTC)

Sorry, the page already exists. Thanks though. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 23:03, 22 April 2011

My project is for the stories that don't make the cut. --K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 23:08, April 22, 2011 (UTC)

I include all my works in the Bibliography, including the ones that never made the cut. The Simpsteins, For Better or For Worse, to name a few. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 23:11, 22 April 2011

I am a big fan. The difference between mine and yours is mine is more an anthology. One massive collection of what (this editor) feels is the cream of the crop. But, I did redirect the old mainspace article name to your bibliography. After consideration this afternoon, I had moved it to my Userspace, as something to work on over time. I am not sure if you noticed it was in my userspace when you made the redirect. I just reverted it, but apparently that set off the wiki bells. I was just an observer. If you need an extra 20 minutes, I have some available after 3am. I know that is late, but from 3:15 - 3:35, I will be elsewhere, and you can use that time of mine if you like. ps,, did you notice the new name of Encyclopedia Dramatic is suspiciously like the national anthem of Canada? It screams for an unTune. --K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 04:01, April 23, 2011 (UTC)

I'm intrigued...

You got a half feature, eh? Not bad. Which was it? 1234 ~ 00:04, 23 April 2011

It should be a quarter feature...but Fuck ChiefjusticeDS. It should be a quarter feature, as I said before. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 00:25, 23 April 2011

I hate to say this, but that really doesn't count - what you supplied was a title, which is something, but also exactly what UN:REQ and UnNews Minitrue do - people suggest titles, and others implement them, and those do not count for this, either. Think about it, though - if all of those people did get quarter credits for titles that went on to become features, as well as all of the people who suggested titles in Happymonkey's dealies for articles that went on to get features, and everyone who suggested that someone else write an article, just in general, that would be completely silly. Keeping track of it and verifying them would be near impossible, never mind the fact that coming up with a title and implementing an article to go with said title are two entirely different things, as are writing something related to a topic and implementing it well. 1234 ~ 01:36, 23 April 2011

So that means I still have no features. That's not fair. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 02:00, 23 April 2011

I'm sorry. 1234 ~ 04:14, 23 April 2011

Why don't you write an article about Horseradish? I can already see that as a future feature. --Black Flamingo 11:05, April 23, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah, horseradish. Easily a feature. Aleister 11:15 23-4-'11

p.s. There's already a horseradish page, so you'd have to do a twist on the theme name, but still, horseradish.

Or rewrite it, since it's pretty bad. --Black Flamingo 11:25, April 23, 2011 (UTC)

Whatever happened to those Charlie Brown Christmas templates saying "it's not such a bad little article, it needs some love..." Do we still use these? -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 15:20, 23 April 2011

I have one on my page The Green Hornet --K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 16:52, April 23, 2011 (UTC)

Oh. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 16:58, 23 April 2011

Horseradish dosen't seem like a good feature. How about Debbie Reynolds? There's no article on that yet. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 18:03, 23 April 2011

An Eggie Drive By

I have a lot of friends here! Where we chill My blog 17:31, April 23, 2011 (UTC)

I like eggies. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 17:53, 23 April 2011

I like that very much!! Thank you!! I have a lot of friends here! Where we chill My blog 18:00, April 23, 2011 (UTC)

I found that a few years back. Funny and cute comics. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 18:02, 23 April 2011

How many games have you made??

I just discovered this, like what?? Where did this come from??? what's this have to do with anything. - LOL vandalz 19:37, April 23, 2011 (UTC)

It's a new Beatles game I am working on. If you know a lot about the Beatles, you can help too. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 20:08, 23 April 2011

Y'know, I used to actually live just over half a mile away from John Lennon's childhood house. Luckily I live somewhere safer, as the area is literally Chav-infested. It was called "manlove avenue". You can't make this shit up!! - LOL vandalz 20:13, April 23, 2011 (UTC)

uqysu

So, you're the punk who's angry with me, huh? Okay. Let's talk then. My name is pronounced "mee-mo". --~  16:02, April 24, 2011 (UTC)

Oh. Funny, when I first came here I thought it was 'Miro'. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 16:49, 24 April 2011

Aha! --~  14:14, April 25, 2011 (UTC)

I thought the username was pronounced as "mye-moe and mackzus". - LOL vandalz 14:37, April 25, 2011 (UTC)

Later on, I thought that, too. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 14:58, 25 April 2011

Sig

Thanks for the change, Lollipop! It looks great! I just put my first article on mainspace: HowTo:Become an Assassin Will you resubmit your boat Unnews? Mattsnow 15:42, April 25, 2011 (UTC)

Sure, why not. I'll change the picture too, as the current one seems a bit blank. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 16:32, 25 April 2011

Cool! Hope you had a great Easter. Mattsnow 20:01, April 25, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah, you too. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 20:05, 25 April 2011

You might find this helpful

http://webdesign.about.com/od/htmltags/a/bltags_deprctag.htm – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 19:45 Apr 25, 2011

Thanks, Skully. I'm using span style from now on (although font is easier for me). -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 19:48, 25 April 2011

Easier and completely wrong. Before I fixed that other guy's sig, it didn't even show up as a different font for me. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 19:53 Apr 25, 2011

Thanks. I'm editing my sig now. And I think i've figured how to make a bot, let's see if it works. If not, you can ban it. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 20:04, 25 April 2011

I'm not really back, but...

Hi anyways. --HM (T) 20:19, April 25, 2011 (UTC)

Hi. I'm that guy you put on Ban Patrol. Oh, how do we grow up so fast, us ex-vandals. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 20:20, 25 April 2011

Unquotable:The Beatles

And on the Unquotables, don't use the {{Quote}} thing except for top forequotes and make it look like other Unquotable pages. And write a summary of the band on the top. I fixed it up a bit. Use mine and others as examples. Thanks.--Respond 20:55, April 25, 2011 (UTC)

I've often used {{Q}} for a "frontispiece" quote at the start of an individual section of a mainspace article. Don't know anything about the Unquotable: namespace, though. Spıke ¬ 23:54 25-Apr-11

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Our friend Jokerman has come a long way, you know when a n00b has progressed when they are startng to give orders. Oh, and by the way, Spike, go get my laundry. And Jokerman run to McDonalds and get me a McMini and a Coke. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 00:48, 26 April 2011

To use a recurring phrase I issue to UnNews authors: What am I, your mother? Spıke ¬ 00:49 26-Apr-11

No, you're pop. Let's go play catch in the yard. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 00:50, 26 April 2011

Giving orders? They were merely suggestions on fixing to the Unquotable style so these guys wouldn't explode. Here's your heart attack food. But seriously, follow the Unquotable guide. I did. I learned to follow guides the hard way from writing UnNews. Now back to work on our HowTo I go.--Respond 00:55, April 26, 2011 (UTC)

Yes. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 01:24, 26 April 2011

File:Sucked dry.png

File:Sucked dry.png, I figured you could find a use for this, I saw it today and thought of you. --K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 15:51, April 26, 2011 (UTC)

Gladly. I like finding new homes for unwanted pictures. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 21:43, 26 April 2011

HAHAHAHA

THE MALE VERSION OF ZANA DARK?HAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAHAHAHAAA HAHAHAAAA AHHAHAHA AHA HAAAAAAAHAHAHA --~  21:54, April 26, 2011 (UTC)

The male version of a faggot? AHAHAHAHA!! Oh wait, you are male, I forgot. Faggot. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 22:08, 26 April 2011

Uh? --~  22:12, April 26, 2011 (UTC)

Heh... -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 22:26, 26 April 2011

Oooh... --~  22:27, April 26, 2011 (UTC)

Uh? Heh? Oooh? Are you guys high? Again?!! Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz 15:02, 27 April, 2011 (UTC)

Zana Dark?? who'd be that? - LOL vandalz 17:34, April 27, 2011 (UTC)

Zana Dark. -- 17:50, April 27, 2011 (UTC)

Zana Dark is one of Uncyclopedia's best writers and she is most definitely a woman. Mock not young Noobs! --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 17:58, April 27, 2011 (UTC)

Am I feeling a flirt with Romartus and Zana Dark? P.S. Lollipop, U NEVER HAD A HALF-FEATURED ARTICLE. --~  18:08, April 27, 2011 (UTC)

I never did, Lyrithya and I went over that. And you (notice I am not saying 'u' as in internet speak) never had a life. And as I am typing this, yes, I am high. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 00:43, 28 April 2011

I have featured HowTo and Why? (Damn I`m rich). Do you, mr. M&m (is the spelling right?) have any? I remember when you once said that you don`t have any featured article. Whatabout now? Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz 05:08, 28 April, 2011 (UTC)

I want a feature on my birthday. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 20:16, 28 April 2011

Yes mr.smart cat I have a featured Why. --Mimo&maxus i am a cunt Hyperbole created this sig Bevanz provided the images 23:49, April 28, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah, like that was anything big. Why? Because. Hahahahahahahahaha. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 00:19, 29 April 2011

Oh, and Mimo, be jealous of my awesome timestamp. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 00:19, 29 April 2011

o_o --~  09:34, April 29, 2011 (UTC)

Hey Lollipop!!

Montreal just got eliminated from the play-offs :(. I know Toronto and Ottawa are not in it. Are you a hockey fan? Are you rooting for a team? By the way, one of the articles I wrote has been nominated for featuring! Heaven's Gate. Also, you would be incredibly cool if you could harmonize the colors of the snowflake on my sig with the name. (the name color is the right one to transfer on that snowflake) I hope you can teach me one day, for exemple, how did you fit that snowflake in there? I hope you are not angry I stole your template for the user page, I added more entries on mine. Did you see me defend your ass on that thread you started about your side project? I hope the guy was kidding. I hope this message finds you not too high to answer! Mattsnow 03:19, April 28, 2011 (UTC)

(Copypasta from what I wrote on Aleister's page) LOL!!! I just happened to leave a message on Aleister page, scrolled down because I saw a Lollipop post and catch the "maybe even Mattsnow" line! Lollipop, don't be afraid to ask me for help my friend. Anytime, I'm on almost everyday since I work almost everyday. Mattsnow 03:55, April 28, 2011 (UTC)

My favourite team is the Ottawa Senators, don't laugh. But I really wasn't that much of a hockey fan growing up. And you can help out with HowTo:Get Featured on YouTube. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 20:15, 28 April 2011

I think they were not that good this year eh? Anyhow, I'll help out on the article when I have time. Mattsnow 21:37, April 28, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah, okay. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 21:38, 28 April 2011

I added some viral videos for you to develop. That is a great concept idea you've got there bro :) Sggestion: Maybe add a ==Exemples of popular posters==? There could be Shaycarl, Alex Jones, Schmoyo, Chris Crocker and others, Waddya think? Mattsnow 22:41, April 28, 2011 (UTC)

Shane Dawson. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 23:41, 28 April 2011

TheYoungTurks (channel). Powerthirst (video) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRuNxHqwazs Mattsnow 03:56, April 29, 2011 (UTC)

You could make a joke or 2 that people trying to make a video themselves (actually worked for it) are always getting thumbs down, while people who just take part of a TV program and post it always get thumbs up and good comments. Those are simply ideas I'm throwing out. I like to throw things. Mattsnow 03:56, April 29, 2011 (UTC)

Smile

You always make me smile, even when you aren't trying. It is obvious you have big dreams and bigger plans, and the can-do spirit to try try try harder. I am giving you this as a small token of my appreciation, but not in a gay way. --K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 20:36, April 28, 2011 (UTC)

Somebody has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

PS The GoldGluden is the name of the coin in the award. --K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 20:36, April 28, 2011 (UTC)

UnSignpost: April 28th, 2011

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper the Whole Family Must Enjoy!

April 28th, 2011 • Issue 118 • A brilliant reasonable periodical.

General News Round-up By Chief It has been another uneventful week at Uncyclopedia, which, contrary to popular belief, is good for the UnSignpost. Uneventful weeks mean we can report in the vaguest terms possible the various goings on on the wiki, a task made infinitely easier through the existence of the Uncyclopedia at a glance page. For instance, did you know that here at Uncyclopedia we have featured 1,731 articles, which is approximately 7%! We don't know what it's 7% of; we aren't scientists. Uncyclopedia at a glance is a splendid resource, which the UnSignpost would recommend to anyone with a spare afternoon and no other plans for their internet usage. Elsewhere on the wiki, VFS has clunked into its final stage, with Lyrithya and Sockpuppet of an unregistered user both reaching the final round. Normally, at this point, the existing administrators vote on a candidate until the 30th of the month, whereupon a messenger is dispatched to the lair of the bureaucrats informing them whom should be afforded the gift of divinity. This Cabal memo clearly never reached Under user, who has started a vote calling for both candidates to receive adminship. "It's a disgrace, if we give them both admin rights who loses? That's the only reason I vote on these things," said unnamed cabal member ChiefjusticeDS, whose voice has been disguised in order that he remain anonymous. Meanwhile, over on the forums, Magic man proposed a meeting of the Uncyclopedians in some kind of convention, probably to be held 2 minutes walk from where he lives, slap bang in the middle of not-where-you-live-'s ville. Modusoperandi agreed with Magic man, saying "None of us are in jail," while Dexter111344 called it a "Horrific idea," which is certainly how this newspaper would react to any idea that involved meeting Dexter111344 in person without the presence of several Police officers. Finally, Dr. Skullthumper has embarked on another quest of utter pointlessness, deploying his bot and himself to "convert HTML" all over the wiki. Pity him. He knows not what he does. Uncyclopedia in the news again By Chief In an age of information overload and astonishingly inaccurate Internet posts, it's reassuring that at least one website strives to be inaccurate at all times. That website is Sign on San Diego, a parody of a news website which bills itself as having all sorts of "Hot Topics" for the people of San Diego and anyone else who might be interested. Recent Sign on San Diego headlines include: "San Diego's air pollution among worst in nation", "Man robs downtown restaurant" and "Reward offered in transient assault case". This leads us to the article that they mentioned, which was about the "fast-rising" Biffy Clyro, the article is in dire need of rewriting but we know better than most not to let quality stand in the way of meeting journalistic deadlines. The crux of the matter is that Biffy Clyro are playing a show in San Diego, which you should attend, provided you aren't dying of air pollution, being robbed in restaurants or assaulted. The article also mentioned <insert name here>'s sterling and exemplary contributions to Uncyclopedia since they joined. The truth is, alas, somewhat less colourful. We lied. They didn't. Naruto By Nobody It is still garbage that babies read.

Check out these pages! Cool! Not cool! Lolwut? Teh lulz! From our logs: 17:29, April 23, 2011 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked Jesus-semen-swallowing-christ (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Great username. Rubbish understanding of the rules.) 21:03, April 21, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Javi.p (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (That wasn't very nice, I'm not very nice, I don't like ice cream, Ice cream gives me a headache, banning gets rid of headaches, you get a ban. That's joined up thinking right there) 02:08, April 24, 2011 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked Kevillips (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 5 minutes ‎ (YOU DIDN'T SIGN YOUR WELCOME TEMPLATE, YOU MONSTER) 04:01, April 21, 2011 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 75.135.37.38 (Talk) with an expiry time of 6 months ‎ (blah blah blah something about blowing me) 04:35, April 27, 2011 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked Carking1996 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Created an account just to spam "tits", eh? Nice work, moron.) Biopic of the Week This week, the biopic is given over to the most important aspect of Uncyclopedia. The voting. Voting underpins our community in much the same way as McDonalds underpins capitalism and a lack of McDonalds underpins Jihad. Without it, we don't get articles featured or deleted. Without it, you would/wouldn't have gotten your awards, you would/wouldn't have been made an administrator. We need voting and it needs us. So for all of you who are leaving it to other people, why not try it now? You can stop when you're dead. Serious zone Votes on awards like Noob of the month and Uncyclopedian of the month are really important for making people want to keep coming back here; try to do some voting at the very least. Serious zone ends Knickers. Newsroom UnTune of the week Oscar's Rap (I'm a Wilde guy) Public service announcement You people should all be ashamed of yourselves. End of message.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 06:20, April 28, 2011 (UTC)

Was this an authorized dilivery user:Fnoodle? Just asking, because I know that something ain't right in Kansasda--K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 02:03, April 29, 2011 (UTC)

Course it was. I go to here to pick up the weekly news. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 02:08, 29 April 2011

None of my bees wax, where you get your Unsignpost, I withdraw my question--K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 02:23, April 29, 2011 (UTC)

My sig

Mr. L, could you please give my sig new colours? Please dont change the sig, but i could use two new colours! I have faith in you. PS your future kings wedding is tomorrow. Good luck! --ShabiDOO 02:50, April 29, 2011 (UTC)

Our election is on my birthday. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 01:07, 30 April 2011

Oh my oh my. Who is the new mayor of Canada going to be. Ive been following the campaign on CBC, lost of shocking twists and turns man!!! So are you thinking about the colours? I know you will pick smashingly great ones!!!!!!!!!!!!! --ShabiDOO 01:21, April 30, 2011 (UTC) p.s. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOLIPOP in Advance. Ill set you up with a cool surprise that day okis? --ShabiDOO 01:21, April 30, 2011 (UTC)

Great idea, Shabber. Nice of you to come back to Lolliversity (formely known as Maniac Mills University), the place that got you started. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 01:28, 30 April 2011

Yes, im going to pretend i understand that :) And also, eagerly waiting you to edit my sig and choose two new wonderful colours. But ofcourse, only when inspiration has hit you well! Which, if before i fall asleap would be great, cause the eagerness is eating me from the inside out --ShabiDOO 01:32, April 30, 2011 (UTC)

That's it! You're taking too long Lollipop! I'm gonna do it! -- 01:53, April 30, 2011 (UTC)

I changed it to a better idea. You're welcome, Shabbie. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 02:13, 30 April 2011

Eh... sod off... -- 02:16, April 30, 2011 (UTC)

You don't make magic sigs. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 02:17, 30 April 2011

-- 02:25, April 30, 2011 (UTC)

Aye. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 05:10, 30 April 2011

Good ol' transparency

I love it. --(talk) 00:48, 1 May 2011

Your signature is too tall. Please make it shorter. 1234 ~ 01:05, 1 May 2011

You have a tendency to be a bugger, don't you? Grrr... --(talk) 01:06, 1 May 2011

I pride myself. It's still a little big, though... one less pixel, please? For me? 1234 ~ 01:20, 1 May 2011

Only on one condition. Nom your favourite article I wrote for VFD VFH. --(talk) 01:36, 1 May 2011

I did. 1234 ~ 01:43, 1 May 2011

I'm checking right now, if you did, then i'll move it down 2 pixels. --(talk) 01:46, 1 May 2011

I meant VFH. Oh shit. --(talk) 01:47, 1 May 2011

But seriously, please just change it. We made the maximum height greater to be more accommodating, but that also means it's more important to actually heed it, as treating a smaller number fuzzily has less impact. 1234 ~ 01:53, 1 May 2011

I did. --(talk) 02:15, 1 May 2011

Oh, looks like you tried, but it didn't actually do anything... ratio too large.

There, that should do it. Thanks. 1234 ~ 02:21, 1 May 2011

No, thank you. Now nom me an article for VFH. --(talk) 02:22, 1 May 2011

I will not bargain favours over heeding policies that exist for good reason, sorry. I'll be frank with you, however - as far as I'm concerned, bargaining for such things is perhaps even more distasteful than the most blatant of what we generally consider whoring - if a person finds something good, they should vote, not if the author does something unrelated in exchange. If you ever do manage to write an article that does seem to me to be appropriate for featuring, however, I will not hesitate to nominate it, but currently none of yours come close. 1234 ~ 04:00, 1 May 2011

So you're saying i'm not a good writer at all, or you're saying that I need to reread HTBFANJS? --(talk) 17:57, 1 May 2011

I'm saying exactly what I said, which actually has surprisingly little to do with your apparent inability to stick to a concept through the body of an article, although if you want advice, if you do come up with and stick to a concept when writing, it helps the article immensely. More to the point, however, I don't like whoring. 1234 ~ 05:56, 2 May 2011

Your request to RC

I'd gladly vouch for you to get rollback, you deserve it -- Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 02:13, May 1, 2011 (UTC)

I mgith have to wait longer to be an admin. But rollback is right for me. Thanks. --(talk) 02:15, 1 May 2011

Yeah. Like when the rest of us are all dead in a tragic accident. Or if the 'a', 'g', 'i', 'n', 's', and 't' keys stopped working on all the admins' keyboards. Or if you turned out to be competent in some shocking twist. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 03:14 May 01, 2011

Or if a virus comes and wrecks your computers. --(talk) 03:18, 1 May 2011

Uncyclopedia:VFH/UnNews:Old people more likely to die, study shows

Hello, comrade! It would mean a lot to me if you would go read my article. And if you really like it, maybe vote for it? But again, not unless you really like it. Thanks, comrade. -- 04:59, May 1, 2011 (UTC)

Sure thing, comrade. Good luck on the feature. --(talk) 15:33, 1 May 2011

Thanks, comrade! -- 17:51, May 1, 2011 (UTC)

No problem. --(talk) 17:54, 1 May 2011

By the way, when's your birthday? -- 17:55, May 1, 2011 (UTC)

Tomorrow, May 2nd. --(talk) 19:13, 1 May 2011

I see... I promise I'll wish you a happy birthday tomorrow. -- 19:16, May 1, 2011 (UTC)

On Uncyclopedia, it's tomorrow in 5 hours. I'll be ready to make a forum like Mimo did. --(talk) 19:30, 1 May 2011

Blah, blah, blah. Magic man and Lollipop. The best friends. Pff. I am angry. --~  19:32, May 1, 2011 (UTC)

We'd be best friends too. If you returned my calls. We already have a new Ungang, Me, Magic, Kev, Frosty, Aleister, Shabber, and Mattsnow. Remind me if I am forgetting anybody in the new gang. --(talk) 19:35, 1 May 2011

Happy Birthday!!!

Yay. I tried to post on your forum page, but it was huffed, and then you got banned (wtf)!! But use the time to celebrate, celebrate, dance to the music. Happy Birthday again!!! Aleister 1:36 2-5-'11

Dear Chupa Chup, happy birthday. Also, big changes are likely to start happening to your body. Your voice may deepen, after it cracks a bit here and there. Your armpits may start to get stinky like a dock worker in Guatemala. Your down there place may start doing things, on its own. This is all normal. It's just part of growing up. --K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 01:44, May 2, 2011 (UTC)

Happy birthday in advance, fellow Canadian! What did you do to get banned this time? I hope we can work on your Youtube article as a collab, what do you think? Mattsnow 02:06, May 2, 2011 (UTC)

HAPPY GOD DAMN BIRTHDAY! UGH! EVERYTHING GOES SO BAD IN MY LIFE. I AM SO SAD. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN. WHERE'S THE FORUM YOU WERE PLANING TO MAKE? GIVE A FUCKING LINK. P.S. CHECK WHICH SIG AM I USING. YOU MIGHT NOT BE THE MALE ZANA DARK BUT YOU SURE ARE A VERY GOOD COPY OF ME, MIMO&MAXUS. LUCKY GUY. --Mimo&maxus 11:58, May 2, 2011 (UTC)

nfrt

You are the guy who said I am only eight. --Mimo&maxus 12:02, May 2, 2011 (UTC)

You're the guy who...uh... --(talk) 23:13, 2 May 2011

Mr Name Changer

I am getting a bit dizzy with your constant name changing. How long will this be your new handle? --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 12:15, May 2, 2011 (UTC)

I didn't change my name. I just changed my sig. Why does everyone think I changed my name? --(talk) 22:22, 2 May 2011

I thought so because your sig does not say Lollipop, and your top of talk page does not say Lollipop, and your user page for a while did not say Lollipop. Like how Peachess user name is whyamidoingthis I thought maybe you were keeping the lollipop user name but signing on as chupa chups.

Happy birthday, for your Birthday we had someone killed. That's more lasting than a feature, don't you think? --K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 22:59, May 2, 2011 (UTC)

No, no, I went for a rebrand. But i'm obviously still Lollipop. I may do a Tootsie Pop rebrand some time in the summer. Or a slurpee rebrand. --(talk) 23:12, 2 May 2011

For the record, the 1, 2, 3, crack is a reference to a vintage tootsie pop comercial

--K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 23:27, May 2, 2011 (UTC)

I got kind of tired of that sig I carried for 4 months, the purple one. And yeah, I always liked having a small tootsie roll in the deep centre of a lollipop. --(talk) 23:30, 2 May 2011

-- 00:06, May 3, 2011 (UTC)

This Lollifest is going well. --(talk) 00:08, 3 May 2011

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPY BIRTHDAY

Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuper haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaapy mega awsome birthday Lolipop. That surprise I had in store, I wasnt able to pull it off unfortunately, my hands were a little tied (shifty eyes). But in any case, the surprise will be comming soon okay and hopefuly will be even cooler! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! --ShabiDOO 02:01, May 3, 2011 (UTC)

Happy birthday, ya old lug!

-- 02:26, May 3, 2011 (UTC)

Ahhhhhhhhh ha ha ha, magic man, you put our birthday wishes to shame ;) ;) ;) --ShabiDOO 02:56, May 3, 2011 (UTC)

Good job to syndrome as well. (talk) 03:03, 3 May 2011

Thanks, guys! -- 16:10, May 3, 2011 (UTC)

And this is what Syndrome had to say on the subject:

-- 16:21, May 3, 2011 (UTC)

Just sayin'

I just wanted to drop by here to say goobergoober bugs and boogers, flippity floppity flagpole flamers, gloppity ploopity leaksity tropwowths. Aleister 3:14 3-5-'11

Who mixed up the little bottles in the medicine cabinet again?  For. --K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 03:16, May 3, 2011 (UTC)

I should give him some shrooms. Maybe then he'll go on IRC. --(talk) 22:38, 4 May 2011

Eh, Fellahs

Big hangover from Harper winning election and from big birthday party. Thanks for the card. --(talk) 00:31, 4 May 2011

Hangover? YOU'RE ONLY EIGHTEEN!! Bad Lollipop! Bad Lollipop! -- 03:43, May 4, 2011 (UTC)

Aye, beer is not as good as I thought it would be. I have some cousins in Ottawa that flew me there on a plane and it was a really screwed up party. Got home at 6 P.M. --(talk) 03:45, 4 May 2011

Really? Because six PM's not that late. -- 03:47, May 4, 2011 (UTC)

No, I stayedd overnight in Ottawa, and my cousins and I were tired, so we left for Guelph at around 4:30.--(talk) 03:49, 4 May 2011

I see... but you still shouldn't be drinking at your age. -- 03:50, May 4, 2011 (UTC)

The drinking law in Ottawa is 18. --(talk) 03:51, 4 May 2011

Where I live the you can drink NA (non alcoholic) beer at eighteen, but not real beer 'till you're twenty-one. -- 03:58, May 4, 2011 (UTC)

And where must that be (by the way, in Guelph the law is 19, that's why we went to Ottawa). --(talk) 21:16, 4 May 2011

Lolipop...glad you had a great birthday and congradulations for the election. Canadas Mayor will lead well...now that he can do anything he wants. The seven corporations i own in canada can now grow now that I will pay no more corporate taxes. Its win win for Canadians and ethnics :) :) :) Now what to do with the savings? Any suggestions?--ShabiDOO 21:29, May 4, 2011 (UTC)

Go to Barbados. Oh, and go to Canada's Wonderland, it opens this weekend. And the elections for sheriff of Ontario is coming up. --(talk) 21:44, 4 May 2011

Lollipop, I live on Mars. Didn't you read my birthday card?!? -- 22:33, May 4, 2011 (UTC)

I thought dead people go to heaven. --(talk) 22:37, 4 May 2011

I'm not dead, I'm just a Master of Disguise; no one's found me yet. -- 22:41, May 4, 2011 (UTC)

No...dead people get into heaven. P.S. magic man I meant to link the article to cats even more times. Ill have to link as many more as possible :) – Preceding unsigned comment added by Shabidoo (talk • contribs)

Please sign your edits on talk pages at all times. --(talk) 23:06, 4 May 2011

I think I got my first hangover at fourteen lol Good to see you had fun! Did you feel magically growing responsible and mature enough to do all the stuff you couldn't do before? Mattsnow 23:21, May 4, 2011 (UTC)

Luckily you have drinking laws at 18. Home at Guelph, the age is 19. That' why I went to Ottawa. --(talk) 23:31, 4 May 2011

Man...not being able to drink in a bar is Uber unfair. I mean, its like Uber sick. Thats some sick uberness. What uber nonsense this whole government control is all like. Stick it to the man lolipop and get your uberfreak on :) :)--ShabiDOO 23:43, May 4, 2011 (UTC)

Being uberlicious got me banned for 10 minutes. --(talk) 23:46, 4 May 2011

Here the legal drinking age is 18... days old. Babies have gin mixed in their nursing bottles. Love your new sig, you should stick with it, bro! :P Mattsnow 23:49, May 4, 2011 (UTC)

I should create a bot soon. --(talk) 23:51, 4 May 2011

OH MY GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO UBER NO UBER NO NO NO NO DOOOOOOOONT CREATE A BOT LOLI NO N NO!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH UBER PLEASE UBER PLEASE!!! --ShabiDOO 00:10, May 5, 2011 (UTC)

It's name will be CANUCK (because 'Canuck' was already taken). --(talk) 00:19, 5 May 2011

You're my bud on here also bro! So you were rooting for Harper? I was rooting for the Bloc Québécois, but the party was pulverized! That was pitiful. I'm just afraid that the Afghan war will go on forever now that Harper is majoritary. Mattsnow 03:53, May 5, 2011 (UTC)

Nah, Layton the Creighton ruined it for you guys. I hate Jack Layton too. Grouchy old bum. --(talk) 21:10, 5 May 2011

That damn Layton, what a dick head. What politician in their right mind would try to pull retired people out of poverty and get people into surgery rooms before they die. What a tyrannical dictator. HANG HIM! HANG HIM! My lord, what a total utter jerk face. Lets write an article about how he almost pulled a fast one over you guys with that whole poverty/healthcare thing! Zheeesh :) --ShabiDOO 21:15, May 5, 2011 (UTC)

He has prostate cancer apparently. Let's just wait for him to die. --(talk) 21:21, 5 May 2011

You should see the retardedness of the people from the NDP we elected here! Some did not even campaign, one was in Las Vegas for the whole campaign, some never even went to their counties in their lives! I don't agree with Harper, but I can't believe how much Quebec people voted like idiots! On anothe subject, should we call you Chupa Chups now, Lollichups? Mattsnow 05:15, May 6, 2011 (UTC)

Call me either Lollipop, Lolli, Chup, Chupa, or Chuppie. Either is fine. --(talk) 21:12, 6 May 2011

Signpost Un

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May 5th, 2011 • Issue 119 • I sense a great disturbance in the force.

VFS ends. Apathy grips wiki. By Chief Those of you who were busy having sex with ladies/men/melons on Saturday evening will have stumbled onto the wiki and discovered that there are in fact two new administrators stumbling around the wiki. Since none of you can find things out for yourself, you have sat, baffled, waiting for the UnSignpost to arrive like a beacon: VFS has drawn to a conclusion and the unlucky losers are Lyrithya and Sockpuppet of an unregistered user. Following the announcement and the ritual slaying of a goat that Zombiebaron always insists upon before any new administrators may make use of their powers, the two victors went straight back to what they had been doing before - looking at depraved images on the internet, categorising, looking at fetish porn and indeed categorising fetish porn. Scandal immediately ensued; administrators do not categorise. This not being enough, however, the UnSignpost has taken to the streets of Uncyclopedia to find out what the community thinks about the new additions to the Cabal. The first place our journalists visited was the Ministry of Love, which stands at the centre of Uncyclopedia's financial district, or it would if Uncyclopedia had a financial district. We were thrilled to speak to the duty Cabal representative Zombiebaron, who, when pressed about the empirical significance of the VFS result, slammed his hand down on the table and exclaimed "Zombiebaron". It would seem that a great deal of things are in fact Zombiebaron: the likelihood of the new administrators being embroiled in scandal and VFS voting in general, to name but a few. We also got the opportunity to sit down with Mhaille after he fell out of a vent as we were leaving and find out what he thought of Lyrithya and Socky being administrators. "In theory its a nice idea, but I wouldn't like to see it in practice" he replied "There are far more deserving people who have only recently discovered the site and hold overinflated opinions of themselves who would be better suited". Before we could explain that the VFS has actually taken place, Mhaille collapsed from dehydration and, not wishing to make a fuss, we left him in the lobby. It turns out nobody is particularly bowled over by the result of the VFS; the result having been obvious for about 2 weeks now, this lead to the announcement being met with grunts and sighs about "The state of things". We decided to see what Socky and Lyrithya had to say about their new powers. "It feels invigorating. Though somehow, I hardly feel a difference," mused Socky. "It's like being castrated" he added... with his eyes. Lyrithya, meanwhile, was not available to comment, which shows that she is taking her new role seriously, namely by leaving shortly after being appointed in the style of the greats of 2006. Mordillo is Dead! By a reputable journalist Uncyclopedia's most hated loved Bureaucrat and Administrator has been shot dead by US Special Forces in Northern Pakistan. Mordillo, who had been hunted by Uncyclopedia since disappearing into hiding in early March, died in the early hours of Monday morning (local time) after a group of 25 US Navy SEALS breached his lavish compound in Abbottabad. The Cabal has yet to acknowledge the death of one of their most senior members of staff; this is simply because they are all far too busy crying. Some conspiracy theorists have suggested that Mordillo was extracted from the safehouse in the early hours of Sunday morning and replaced with Osama Bin Laden. These lunatics cite the bearded aspect of the victim and his radical Islamic tendencies, which we cannot now see, as so-called "evidence". Rumours that Mordillo has fled to western Europe are unconfirmed drivel and you are discouraged from looking for him without a submarine, since his body was buried at sea in order to save you footing the bill for having any photographs developed. Uncyclopedians around the world have been warned to brace themselves for possible retaliation from Mordillo's cohorts and reminded to live in abject fear of authority at all times. For now you can sleep peacefully in your beds at night because Mordillo is certainly dead, oh yes, can't get much more dead than the dead he is now...

Check out these pages! Modus' Pants Pain MadMax Pants Pain Solution Pain in your pants? A Pain in the Neck From our logs. New Admin Special: 07:18, May 4, 2011 Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) blocked Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (I've had it with this place.) 06:50, May 4, 2011 Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) blocked Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Obvious vandal.) 08:54, May 2, 2011 Lyrithya (Talk | contribs) blocked <insert name here> (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a large Yak (Your support of my grand plan to destroy the wiki shall not go unappreciated. Thank you.) 21:57, May 2, 2011 Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) blocked Osama bin Laden (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (You're dead, lol.) 21:33, May 2, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Why do you hate me when I show you nothing but love?) 20:21, April 30, 2011 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) resurrected Lyrithya (Talk | contribs) ‎ (hasn't annoyed anyone in the last 5 minutes) 21:49, May 2, 2011 Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) resurrected Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) ‎ (I am Jesus!) Biopic of the Week As is the tradition when new administrators grace the wiki with their presence, the biopic is devoted to making the crusty, less flexible older admins feel better about not being able to touch their toes. While the administrators have absolute dominion over your continued interaction with this, the most splendid of websites, they are just like you. As Famine explained in his essay, the administrators have a difficult job to do and there are no bitch benefits; honestly you ask any administrator how many bitches they have picked up with their "I'm an administrator on Uncyclopedia" line, the answer? None. How then, I hear you cry, could anyone do the job? Well it's very simple, they don't; all administrators inevitably snap like dry reeds eventually. Some of them leave, some of them die and still others go and get a life. Don't be too hard on the rest of them and certainly don't try to be like them, why not try to be like Chuck Norris instead? Think of the bitch benefits! Did You Know? Sometimes we have to resort to incredibly stupid custom boxes in order to make the two columns be of similar lengths? It isn't essential but symmetry should never be left to rot at the side of the road no matter how many times you have to beat it into shape with a spade. This isn't one of those times by the way. Just thought you'd like to know. Newsroom UnTune of the week Artsy and Misunderstood: A Bedroom Emo Song

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~ I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:20, 5 May 2011

IDK

“If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be bad, it doesn't. Such is the astounding stupidity of optimism.”

~ Oscar Wilde

--Respond 16:59, May 6, 2011 (UTC)

Which article did you get that from. Or is that a real quote? --(talk) 21:13, 6 May 2011

Unlike most of the Wilde quotes on Uncyc, this is real.--Respond 01:22, May 7, 2011 (UTC)

Oscar Wilde quotes became old in 2007. --(talk) 01:58, 7 May 2011

Prior to coming here, I never heard of that guy. I was like who in the hell is this guy? He's quoted everywhere lol Mattsnow 02:39, May 7, 2011 (UTC)

You've never heard of Oscar Wilde? He was an Irish poet and playwright. Sadly he died in 1900 at the age of 46, then was reincarnated in 2005 to become CEO of Unmeta. --(talk) 16:54, 7 May 2011

No.

I've come here to tell you that I won't add another section to your talk page. I refuse to be intimidated by your threats. So ha. Ha ha ha... -- 17:32, May 8, 2011 (UTC)

You just did. FAIL. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 17:33, 8 May 2011

Yes, I'm aware. It's called irony, dear. Look it up. -- 17:37, May 8, 2011 (UTC)

Why do you call me dear? Anyway, my article is on VFH, and it'd be splendid if you'd nom it. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 17:39, 8 May 2011