User:Tristmaster

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“What a wonderfully perfect idea you have stirring up in your mind. However, in addition to our socialisitic crusade, we should remember to claim our territory in the genius who inspiered us to do so in the first plce. Our beloved king, saviour, and all around ruler of the free (and unfree) world, Oscar Wilde.”

~ Snapple

Member

This person has successfully registered on Uncyclopedia.
They should be proud of themselves for making such a smart move.

Member of the Order

This article contains too much Oscar Wilde... or possibly Chuck Norris ...maybe both.

For your own safety, please contact a professional before adding any additional Oscar Wilde or Chuck Norris related content.

This person is God

This person is officially god of super smash bros. and anything else nintendo.

This user knows the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything.

This user is a mutant.

WARNING: this user knows Chuck Norris, and therefore must be either Mr. T, Chuck Norris, Oscar Wilde, or dead. Proceed with caution!!!

This user is a conspirator in the Grand Conspiracy.

This user is a toilet! In Soviet Russia, toilet urinates on YOU!!

RENT

This space for rent.
Lube available.

Call 1-800-666-6666.

אױ אַ שײנעם ברכת

דער אוזערניק איז אַ מעשוגענאער שלעמיל און אַ ‫פֿאַרשטוקענע פּוץ. (Der usernik iz a meshugganah shlemiel un a farshtukenah putz.)

.sdrawkcab si resu sihT

!degnellahc-yllatnoziroh TON si resu sihT :etoN

This user has found Jesus, and is therefore a potential threat to society.

This user is a Gamer and therefore creepy.

This User has joined the Grue Army. FEAR HIM.

This user is a member of Twin Suns Squadron. Fear them.

This user is a complete, irredeemable diode. They are Bat Fuck Insane, and wank at an idiot.

diff
H

This user plays Video Games on the highest difficulty available because they like to get the most out of their games and thinks you should too! Git Gud everyone!

This user believes in the Matrixes and needs to seriously get in touch with the real world (It's actually Matrices)

This Uncyclopedian is happy to be 100% straight.

This user is easily distracted by anything shiny.

This user completely enjoys pie because it is awesome.

This user slays grues in their sleep.

usbx

This user likes to use userboxes.

This user owns by one or more cats just so they can keep an eye on them.

Usb!

No, really!

??

This userbox is for people who know, if you wonder what they know, then you probably don't know.

USB!!!!!11

NO, REALLY TRULY REALLY!!!!

This user is a grue, and while you were reading this, has eaten you. Start over?

I am an assassin, and can kill you anywhere you go from in the shadows. Fear me!

This user's future is so bright, they've gotta wear shades.

This User has joined the Black ops Squadron. and will not hesitate to kill you if your gay or racist.

This user likes Capture the flag.

NO

This user doesn't care.

Gadzooks! This user participates in
T h e W i l d e P r o j e c t !
(Or at least pretends to.)

This user is reading your thoughts!

This user believes the Mozilla Firefox could easily defeat Godzilla.

…

This user would be a professional procrastinator, but they can't be bothered.

This user is a serial killer, and they are standing right behind you!!

This user has joined The Grue Army to help Uncyclopedia kill vandals, and help users. Please join today!

This user shot J.F.Kennedy.
DON'T TELL THIS USER'S MUMMY!

This user is fae Bonnie Scotland - so go take a running fuck at a rolling doughnut

This user is a Ninjazi, with dominion over everything that goes "Sieg Heil".

ego

This user is a deluded egomaniac.

Z

This user has found the Twenty Treasures of Zork and beaten Zork: The Great Underground Empire.

This user supports the Union of European Soviet Republics.

(Otherwise known as the EC)

This is what happens to people that disagree with this user.

1337

This user is elite.

Don't make a move. I'm watching you.

This user's IQ is over OVER 9000!!!!!!.

This user is apart of the offical Uncyclopedia Alliance for Cyber Nations. God help us.

Z2

This user has united the Golden Egg of Arkora and beaten Zork 2: Gruel and Unusual Punishment.

Just because I think everyone is trying to kill me doesn't mean they aren't. You know what I mean?

This user is a bit of a pyromaniac.

This user is a total UKer

…jolly good, Guv. Bloody good day for it!

(British Uncyclopedians)

n^th

WARNING: Keep away from this user as they love working out nth terms.

I collect userboxes as if they were trading cards, hoping that they may be ~~collectors items~~ worth something in the future.

Z3

This user has saved the Beautiful Princess Rosemary and beaten Zork 3: The Dungeon Master.

THÏS ÄRTÏCLË RÄẄKS

Höẅëvër, ït nëëds mörë ümläüts.

This user is ARR-some!

This user believes in the Noodly Appendage of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism.

Aspie with Humor

This user has a sense of humor, in spite of their Asperger Syndrome.

Z4

This dreams of playing Zork 4: Escape From Darkness again.

This mathematical user loves pi

This user be a follower of the FSM.

ao-E

This user only speaks AOLer because it was a required course in school.

bs-3

This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of Bullsh!t.

cpp-2

This user is able to contribute with an intermediate level of C++.

I played Grueslayer and all I won was this lousy userbox!

‽	How dare you consider this user not awesome! How dare you not recognise the awesomeness of this user! This person uses the power of "How Dare You"!

fig-N

This user is a native speaker of Fight.

gb-4

This user speaks Gibberish at a near-native level.

mor-1

This user is able to contribute with a basic level of -- --- .-. ... . / -.-. --- -.. . .

Pie-4

This user speaks Pie at a near-native level.

rh-N

This user is a native speaker of Random Humour.

This user finished Grueslayer on hard mode, and is worthy of the title of Grueslayer!

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| style="width: 45px; height: 45px; background: #CCCCCC; text-align: center; font-size: 14pt; color: black;" | IP | style="font-size: 8pt; padding: 4pt; line-height: 1.25em; color: black;" | This person's IP is 6.6.6. |}

ru-4

This user speaks Русский at a near-native level.

THIS USER IS ADDICTED TO COWBELL, AND SHOULD BE AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS.

ABYSS

This user has survived the wretched dark place we call The Abyss.

 C:\>_

This user contributes using DOS.

This user rejects the theory of global warming, or at least thinks it's someone else's problem.

This user studies psychology because it's really easy and sounds good at dinner parties.

A x2

This user is lucky to have survived going through the Grue-infested pit we call The Abyss more than once.

Sense

This user promotes the radical idea of having sense.

bu-E

This user killed 13 of his classmates in school speaking Bullet.

sa-4

This user speaks Sarcasm at a near-native level.

This user is a Registered User and they can upload images and move pages, whoopdie freakin doo.

This user hates you and everyone you care about.

3

This user has written 3 articles because they like to keep busy while shirking real life responsibilities.

This user seriously needs to calm down.

This user will give you a seizure.

Typo
4

Htis user sepaks typO at a naer0native levle.

This user is right-handed.

In Latin, they would be Dexter.

This *bleep* user likes to *bleep* the use of *bleep* *bleep* profanity *bleep*

MEH

This user redefines lazy!

sub

subliminal!

This user is from Camelot, and eats ham and jam and spamalot!

ubx–
crapload

This user has a crapload of userboxes. To see more of them, go to some other page.

This user idolises Dr. House
but since Everybody Lies, you can't be sure how much.

official

This user is official. They get all their user boxes from here.

Color

This user likes random colored userboxes.

This user can see what you don't!

This user is a Christian (as long as they put a dollar in the box).

Formerly lost among the dregs of society, this user has defected and crossed over from the dark side. Welcome to the machine....

Temp

This is a template userbox, to create userboxes from. Anyone with it on his/her page is clearly just looking for an excuse to have more Userboxes.

This user can drift and beat D.K.

This user is not American
…and unabashedly proud of it.
(But they're not saying where they're from in case y'all come and bomb the hell out of it.)
(List of NonAmerican Uncyclopedians)

This user is the random erudite Juffo-Wup that washed their DNA inside of your tuxedoes so you must peacefully programme them with a philanthropist.

grue

This user is grue years old. Woop-ti-doo.

I joined the Folding@home team, because I have nothing better to do with my computer.

This user uses Windows because they can't get enough of your lover.

This user is €uro …and denies their "real" citizenship
(List of European Uncyclopedians)

bu-N

This user is a native speaker of Bullet and can fire high-caliber rounds in full-automatic mode.

This user is not who you think they are. In fact, they are someone who you think is not them, who thinks they are (who you think is not - who is).

This user is a member of the Uncyclopedia Departure of Fun.

This User a n00b is not, and approves that, Yoda does.

If you are a n00b who is looking at this, you have just exploded.

This user hates telephones. Probably due to the fact that the U.S. government is monitoring them.

This user is EXTREMELY RANDOM
Be advised: Approach with caution and a sense of humor.

MS-N

This user grew up in a forward-thinking family, and therefore always speaks their mind, you nerd.

BK

This user is a Black Knight!!

This user enjoys staring at spinning objects. They may be afflicted with Attention Deficit look at the birdie!

You can help by paying for their Ritalin, or finding them a kitten to play with.

This user identifies as straight, and is probably grossed out by gay PDA.

This user supports the Union of Eurabian Socialist Republics.

(Otherwise known as the EC)

This user is a cereal killer.

This user prefers the Wii because 'it's the game play that counts'.

This user plays games on the Nintendo GameCube because they broke their window with the Wii remote and can't afford another.

This user is a Nintendo fan.

This user, Tristmaster, is a genuine Puppet Master.

This person has done (assumedly) bad things to Uncyclopedia under approximately 3 – 3000 pseudonyms.

Zork

This user edits the Zork trilogy.

Abyss

This user edits The Abyss.

ow-4

This user had once seen Oscar Wilde in a crowd from a distance and knows all his works and quotes by heart.

~~Sex~~

This user is against sexuality; probably because it is not a pervert like you.

Big Brother is watching this user...and YOU!

ABYSS x?,???

This user IS The Abyss.

This user is a miser, and couldn't be happier with their money!

This user is a Communist
& is working on their Lenin mustache! ☭

This user kicks butt at Tetяis: not that that's anything to be proud of.

This user is against computer and video game censorship and regulation as they like porn and violence (though not always at the same time).

This user supports the European Reich.

Heil Hitler!

This user is a member of the Anti Kitten Huffing Movement.

This user is a Sniper and has their rifle pointing at your head.

This user supports the genocide of crappy articles.

This user has eye beams.

This user believes Barney is evil, and therefore must die.

This user is a Mercenary, and chooses their own wars to fight in.

This person helps reduce over-population by killing people, thus helping the environment.

This user is an Assault Soldier and is pWn1ng n00bs with their quarter gun.

Number of people who tristmaster has owned and pwned at the same time at super smash bros. since you started reading this article.:

This article force pushes infants.

You can help by bolting it to the floor.

∞

This user is an ageless immortal, or so they like to think.

This user should not be trusted.

LV-5

This user considers themselves a professional gamer and so has the worlds highest scores but no job, money, friends or place to live.

The Black Knight has never been punished by UnBestiary. Learn from their actions and act like them.

This user is a zombie. BARHAH!

This user is not a ninja because ninjas are gay.

AA!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAAA!!!

9/21

This user will never forget the events of 9/21/07; the day Uncyclopedia was huffed by terrorists.

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring....BANANAPHONE!!!!

THIS IS SPARTA!

This user will never forget October 23, 2008; the day that Wikia sold its soul. :-S

17-4

This user speaks 1337 at a near-native level.

This user prefers to play games on a laptop as they don't have to stop to go to the toilet.

This user prefers the Nintendo DS over the PSP as they have far superior multitasking abilities.

This user is an adventurer.