User:Tristmaster

This user has been inactive on Uncyclopedia for more than one year. Some content has been removed from their userpage to help keep Uncyclopedia tidy. If this is your userpage, please feel free to restore that content and remove this template.

“What a wonderfully perfect idea you have stirring up in your mind. However, in addition to our socialisitic crusade, we should remember to claim our territory in the genius who inspiered us to do so in the first plce. Our beloved king, saviour, and all around ruler of the free (and unfree) world, Oscar Wilde.”

~ Snapple

Member of the Order of Uncyclopedia

This person has successfully registered on Uncyclopedia. They should be proud of themselves for making such a smart move.

Member of the Order

This user knows the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything.

This user is a mutant.

WARNING: this user knows Chuck Norris, and therefore must be either Mr. T, Chuck Norris, Oscar Wilde, or dead. Proceed with caution!!!

This user is a conspirator in the Grand Conspiracy.

This user is a toilet! In Soviet Russia, toilet urinates on YOU!! RENT This space for rent. Lube available. Call 1-800-666-6666. RENT אױ אַ שײנעם ברכת דער אוזערניק איז אַ מעשוגענאער שלעמיל און אַ ‫פֿאַרשטוקענע פּוץ. (Der usernik iz a meshugganah shlemiel un a farshtukenah putz.) אױ אַ שײנעם ברכת

.sdrawkcab si resu sihT
!degnellahc-yllatnoziroh TON si resu sihT :etoN

This user has found Jesus, and is therefore no longer a threat to society.

This user is a Gamer and therefore creepy.

This User has joined the Grue Army. FEAR HIM.

This user is a member of Twin Suns Squadron. Fear them.

This user is a complete, irredeemable attorney. They are Bat Fuck Insane, and lick at a bowling ball.

DIFF H

This user plays Video Games on the highest difficulty available because they like to get the most out of their games and thinks you should too! Git Gud everyone!

This user believes in the Matrixes and needs to seriously get in touch with the real world (It's actually Matrices)

This Uncyclopedian is happy to be 100% straight.

This user is easily distracted by anything shiny.

This user completely enjoys pie because it is awesome.

This user slays grues in their sleep.

usbx

This user likes to use userboxes.

usbx

This user owns by one or more cats just so they can keep an eye on them.

Usb!

No, really!

Usb!

??

This userbox is for people who know, if you wonder what they know, then you probably don't know.

??

USB!!!!!11

NO, REALLY TRULY REALLY!!!!

USB!!!!!11

This user is a grue, and while you were reading this, has eaten you. Start over?

I am an assassin, and can kill you anywhere you go from in the shadows. Fear me!

This user's future is so bright, they've gotta wear shades.

This User has joined the Black ops Squadron. and will not hesitate to kill you if your gay or racist.

This user likes Capture the flag.

NO

This user doesn't care.

NO

Gadzooks!   This user participates in T h e   W i l d e   P r o j e c t ! (Or at least pretends to.)

This user is reading your thoughts!

This user believes the Mozilla Firefox could easily defeat Godzilla.

...

This user would be a professional procrastinator, but they can't be bothered.

...

This user is a serial killer, and they are standing right behind you!!

This user has joined The Grue Army to help Uncyclopedia kill vandals, and help users. Please join today!

This user shot J.F.Kennedy. DON'T TELL THIS USER'S MUMMY!

This user is fae Bonnie Scotland - cuntiefandamfucktoleybumshite.

This user is a Ninjazi, with dominion over everything that goes "Sieg Heil".

ego

This user is a deluded egomaniac.

ego

Z

This user has found the Twenty Treasures of Zork and beaten Zork: The Great Underground Empire.

Z

This user supports the Union of European Soviet Republics. (Otherwise known as the EC)

This is what happens to people who disagree with this user.

1337

This user is elite.

1337

Don't make a move. I'm watching you.

This user's IQ is over OVER 9000!!!!!!.

This user is apart of the offical Uncyclopedia Alliance for Cyber Nations. God help us.

Z2

This user has united the Golden Egg of Arkora and beaten Zork 2: Gruel and Unusual Punishment.

Z2

:o

Just because I think everyone is trying to kill me doesn't mean they aren't. You know what I mean?

:o

This user is a bit of a pyromaniac.

This user is a total UKer
and will commit murder for a proper cup of tea.
(British Uncyclopedians)

nth

WARNING: Keep away from this user as they love working out nth terms.

nth

I collect userboxes as if they were trading cards, hoping that they may be collectors items worth something in the future.

Z3

This user has saved the Beautiful Princess Rosemary and beaten Zork 3: The Dungeon Master.

Z3

This user is one Jolly Rodger short of a square rigger.

This user believes in the Noodly Appendage of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism.

Aspie with Humor

This user has a sense of humor, in spite of their Asperger Syndrome.

Aspie with Humor

Z4

This dreams of playing Zork 4: Escape From Darkness again.

Z4

This user loves pi

This user be touched by His Noodly Appendage.

ao E

This user only speaks AOLer because it was a required course in school.

ao E

bs 3

This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of Bullsh!t.

bs 3

cpp 2

This user is able to contribute with an intermediate level of C++.

cpp 2

I played Grueslayer and all I won was this lousy userbox!

‽	How dare you consider this user not awesome! How dare you not recognise the awesomeness of this user! This person uses the power of "How Dare You"!

fig N

This user is a native speaker of Fight.

fig N

gb 4

This user speaks Gibberish at a near-native level.

gb 4

mor 1

This user is able to contribute with a basic level of -- --- .-. ... . / -.-. --- -.. . .

mor 1

Pie 4

This user speaks Pie at a near-native level.

Pie 4

rh N

This user is a native speaker of Random Humour.

rh N

This user finished Grueslayer on hard mode, and is worthy of the title of Grueslayer!

{| cellspacing="0" style="width: 238px; background: red;"

| style="width: 45px; height: 45px; background: #CCCCCC; text-align: center; font-size: 14pt; color: black;" | IP | style="font-size: 8pt; padding: 4pt; line-height: 1.25em; color: black;" | This person's IP is 6.6.6. |}

ru 4

This user speaks Русский at a near-native level.

ru 4

THIS USER IS ADDICTED TO COWBELL, AND SHOULD BE AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS.

ABYSS

This user has survived the wretched dark place we call The Abyss.

ABYSS

C:\>_

This user contributes using DOS.

C:\>_

This user rejects the theory of global warming, or at least thinks it's someone else's problem.

This user studies psychology because it's really easy and sounds good at dinner parties.

A x2

This user is lucky to have survived going through the Grue-infested pit we call The Abyss more than once.

A x2

Sense

This user promotes the radical idea of having sense.

Sense

bu-E	This user killed 13 of his classmates in school speaking Bullet.

sa 4

This user speaks Sarcasm at a near-native level.

sa 4

This user is a Registered User and they can upload images and move pages, whoopdie freakin doo.

This user hates you and everyone you care about.

3

This user has written 3 articles because they like to keep busy while shirking real life responsibilities.

3

This user seriously needs to calm down.

This user will give you a seizure.

typo-4

Htis user sepaks Typo at a naer0native levle.

This user is right-handed. In Latin, they would be Dexter.

This *bleep* user likes to *bleep* the use of *bleep* *bleep* profanity *bleep*

MEH

This user redefines lazy!

MEH

sub

subliminal!

sub

This user is from Camelot, and eats ham and jam and spamalot!

ubx– crapload

This user has a crapload of userboxes. To see more of them, go to some other page.

ubx– crapload

This user idolises Dr. House
but since Everybody Lies, you can't be sure how much.

official

This user is official. They get all their user boxes from here.

official

Color

This user likes random colored userboxes.

Color

This user can see what you don't!

This user is a Christian (as long as they put a dollar in the box).

Formerly lost among the dregs of society, this user has defected and crossed over from the dark side. Welcome to the machine....

Temp	This is a template userbox, to create userboxes from. Anyone with it on his/her page is clearly just looking for an excuse to have more Userboxes.

This user can drift and beat D.K.

This user is not American
…and unabashedly proud of it.
(But they're not saying where they're from in case y'all come and bomb the hell out of it.)
(List of NonAmerican Uncyclopedians)

This user is the random artificial virus that absolved their scrotum inside of your virii so you must eloquently flagellate them with a frying pan.

grue

This user is grue years old. Woop-ti-doo.

grue

I joined the Folding@home team, because I have nothing better to do with my computer.

This user uses Windows because they can't get enough of your lover.

This user is €uro …and denies their "real" citizenship
(List of European Uncyclopedians)

bu-N	This user is a native speaker of Bullet and can fire high-caliber rounds in full-automatic mode.

This user is not who you think they are. In fact, they are someone who you think is not them, who thinks they are (who you think is not - who is).

This user is a member of the Uncyclopedia Departure of Fun.

This User a n00b is not, and approves that, Yoda does. If you are a n00b who is looking at this, you have just exploded.

This user hates telephones. Probably due to the fact that the U.S. government is monitoring them.

This user is EXTREMELY RANDOM Be advised: Approach with caution and a sense of humor.

MS N

This user grew up in a forward-thinking family, and therefore always speaks their mind, you nerd.

MS N

BK

This user is a Black Knight!!

BK

One or more of the authors of this entry was terribly bored. They may be afflicted with Attention Deficit... hey, we should go fly kites. That'd be so awesome! We haven't flown kites, since, like, summer. Hey, summer is when birds come out! Birds are so cool.

You can help by paying for their Ritalin, or finding them a kitten to play with.

This user identifies as straight, and is probably grossed out by gay PDA.

This user supports the Union of Eurabian Socialist Republics. (Otherwise known as the EC)

This user is a cereal killer.

This user prefers the Wii as 'it's the game play that counts'.

This user plays games on the Nintendo GameCube as they broke their window with the Wii remote and can't afford another.

This user is a Nintendo fan.

Zork

This user edits the Zork trilogy.

Zork

Abyss

This user edits The Abyss.

Abyss

ow 4

This user had once seen Oscar Wilde in a crowd from a distance and knows all his works and quotes by heart.

ow 4

Sex

This user is against sexuality; probably because it is not a pervert like you.

Sex

Big Brother is watching this user...and YOU!

ABYSS x?,???

This user IS The Abyss.

This user is a miser, and couldn't be happier with their money!

This user is a Communist
& is working on their Lenin mustache! ☭

This user kicks butt at Tetяis: not that that's anything to be proud of.

This user is against computer and video game censorship and regulation as they like porn and violence (though not always at the same time).

This user supports the European Reich. Heil Hitler!

This user is a member of the Anti Kitten Huffing Movement.

This user is a Sniper and has their rifle pointing at your head.

This user supports the genocide of crappy articles.

This user has eye beams.

This user believes Barney is evil, and therefore must die.

This user is a Mercenary, and chooses their own wars to fight in.

This person helps reduce over-population by killing people, thus helping the environment.

This user is an Assault Soldier and is pWn1ng n00bs with their quarter gun.

Number of people who tristmaster has owned and pwned at the same time at super smash bros. since you started reading this article.:

This article force pushes infants. You can help by bolting it to the floor.

∞

This user is an ageless immortal, or so they like to think.

∞

This user should not be trusted.

LV-5	This user considers him/herself a professional gamer and so has the worlds highest scores but no job, money, friends or place to live.

The Black Knight has never been punished by UnBestiary. Learn from their actions and act like them.

This user is a zombie. BARHAH!

This user is not a ninja because ninjas are gay.

AA!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAAA!!!

AA!

9/21

This user will never forget the events of 9/21/07; the day Uncyclopedia was huffed by terrorists.

9/21

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring....BANANAPHONE!!!!

THIS IS SPARTA!

This user will never forget October 23, 2008; the day that Wikia sold its soul. :-S

17 4

This user speaks 1337 at a near-native level.

17 4

This user prefers to play games on a laptop as they don't have to stop to go to the toilet.

This user prefers the Nintendo DS over the PSP as they have far superior multitasking abilities.

This user is an adventurer.

This user understands American sign language.

This user is cooler than you.

RS

This user plays RunEscape. Laugh at Pray for them.

RS

This user has a Really Lame Password. Seriously, you could probably guess it.

This user plays on an Xbox 360 as their pretentiousness knows no bounds.

This user is a New Yorker The Patriots rule suck!! (Uncyclopedians from the greatest city ever!)

	This article has been locked for your own safety.
	In Soviet Яussia, article protect YOU!!

VIEW AT YOUR OWN RISK This page is not appropriate for our more sensitive viewers. It may contain naughty, filthy things like breasts, boobies, tits, knockers or funbags. Nasty words like cock, fuck, capitalism, & Barbra Streisand may also appear in the text. Viewing by persons under the age of 18 is not recommended, no matter how much they want to see a page filled with cursing. That means you, <insert name here>. Yes, we know who you are & Jesus is watching you!

this article is about me. me me me me me me me me mem mem emem memem emme memem mem ememmmmmemememememememememmemem,emeeemrmemememememememmemeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. ummm, yea anyway the point is. your gonna die soon. do you know why? its becouse your reading this article and saying candyman. your not? well then your very lucky, mostly becouse you'll live another 5 seconds. point is, your gonna die mostly becouse i kno where you live, and i know how to give directions to chuck norris. so he can kick your ass using a roundhouse kick.

biography

(speaking in 3rd person) tristmaster was born in a tropical paridise with many others. although unlike the many others, he didnt laugh at mexicans. he grew up to get accounts on many other sites, such as roblox, deviantart, urban rivals, and uncyclopedia. and thats it.

For all those who actually belive someone has killed me. THIS is what really happened. more realisticly, it's a futile attempt to beat me in SSB. and many other online things, as well as real life.

you will see this sign on the way to my domicile.

This is your fate when you get near me in SSB.

intrests

• death
• your mom
• something other than you
• uncyclopedia
• not getting his article huffed
• god
• ultimite jesus
• master hand
• crazy hand
• umm
• err
• yea.......
• ......................
• .......i got it
• he likes PIE!!!!!!!!!
• and ice cream
• and of course brownies
• play the game
• or ill kill you
• c'mon hop to it
• or ill get michael jackson to see you
• if your over 12
• ill get your future cellmate
• his name is bubba
• I bet you two will have lots of fun
• your sister

dislikes

• lust
• rape
• anything about sexual harrasment
• you
• educational programing
• many many other things
• and more....
• including the grue
• water grues
• shadow grues
• russian frues
• other grues
• eurgs
• anti-grues
• you again
• ..........prepare to die

what else?

acording to the diagnostic the patiant suffers from severe personality and social issues. fantisizes about killing anyone or anything that acts on his dislikes. and goes against his intrests.

                                                                   -dr.pchycosis

WTF?

YES, THIS is an average encounter with me.

You shall bow down, otherwise you will be Huffed.

The Country

“In Soviet Russia, tristmasterland is dictated by YOU!!”

~ Russian Reversal on Tristmasterland

Well the country is very intresting, you see. it involves Nazism,Kommunism,facism, imperialism,and ownageism. while this creates some instability, at least he shoots all capitalists. the population is so far about 5,000 due to misbehavior. although it's a well known fact that if you worship tristmaster, you will be forgiven 1 mortal sin, as well as 3 regular sins. best of all in tristmasterland, free biscuit fridays at popeye's chicken and biscuits has been moved tooooooooooo....................all week long. a move very popular with claveman. of course things such as mcdonalds, burgerking, wendy's, and arby's, are also prominant. so remember, obay and eat the food, and you live.EXTRA: now, with this special offer, get a house in Tristmasterland for 100,000,000,000,000,000,000$ cheaper. a house is now 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000$. this special offer is only avaiable for the next 300 years,so call now, remember, in 300 years, duke nukem forever might finally come out(although most likely not) come out, so we have a reason to close the offer in celebration, or sadness. call now at 1-800-666-IPWNU, or log in at www.Tristmasterlandenslavement.com. WAIT, theres more, get a house now and we will give you on FREE copy of ZORK. thats right, a FREE copy of Zork. NO, not Zork 2, Zork 3, Or Zork 4. But the ORIGANAL Zork.(ordering Zork requires 19.99$ to pay for keeping the game on your computer, as well as tax, which is another 20.00$)SO ORDER NOW. GET A FREE CAR AS WELL. Tristmastermobiles are being made to keep the people moving around. as long as you don't press any buttons, you should be fine, or at least not dead. while your at it, get a FREE tristmasternought, the greatest battleship, err motorboat, to sail the seven seas.AND NOW, get a FREE Tristmasterjet. which can fly at 42,000,000,000,000,000,000 MPH.(be warned the jet has no brakes).

Tristmasterland

(Flag) (Coat of Arms)
National Motto: "Obay Grues or we shoot you."
Official language	bullet
Capital	IPWNYU city
Dictator	Tristmaster(WHO THE FUCK DID YOU THINK IT WAS, HUH, SNAPPLE? I THINK NOT!)
Religion	tristmasterism
Independence	set since the begining of time. ha just joking i control everyone through mind control
Currency	super smash bros. coins
National Anthem	"Obay the great Tristmaster"
National Holiday	Tristmaster day, Oscar Wilde day.
National Slogan	I OWN YOUR ASS

MY NINJASTARS AND AWARDS

no, i did not steal them. if they look like there stolen its becouse i'm a humerous person. and i try to change the text around a little bit for laughs.