User:Tristmaster

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“What a wonderfully perfect idea you have stirring up in your mind. However, in addition to our socialisitic crusade, we should remember to claim our territory in the genius who inspiered us to do so in the first plce. Our beloved king, saviour, and all around ruler of the free (and unfree) world, Oscar Wilde.”

MUN.svg
Member of the Order
Towel migration.jpg This user knows the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything.
Sign1.png This user is a mutant.
Cnorris.png WARNING: this user knows Chuck Norris, and therefore must be either Mr. T, Chuck Norris, Oscar Wilde, or dead. Proceed with caution!!!
3dspork.png This user is a conspirator in the Grand Conspiracy.
JapaneseToiletBidet.jpg This user is a toilet! In Soviet Russia, toilet urinates on YOU!!
RENT This space for rent.
Lube available.

Call 1-800-666-6666.

אױ אַ שײנעם ברכת דער אוזערניק איז אַ מעשוגענאער שלעמיל און אַ ‫פֿאַרשטוקענע פּוץ. (Der usernik iz a meshugganah shlemiel un a farshtukenah putz.)
.sdrawkcab si resu sihT

!degnellahc-yllatnoziroh TON si resu sihT :etoN
Uncyclopedia elzzup otatop.jpg
Buddychr.png This user has found Jesus and is therefore a potential threat to society.
Mario-lo-res.jpg This user is a Gamer and therefore creepy.
Domokunyellownbackground.jpg This User has joined the Grue Army. FEAR HIM.
Domokunyellownbackground.jpg This user is a member of Twin Suns Squadron. Fear them.
Popeeyebeams.jpg This user is a complete, irredeemable liger. They are Bat Fuck Insane, and plagiarizes at the liger.
DIFF H This user plays Video Games on the highest difficulty available because they like to get the most out of their games and thinks you should too!
Neo Small.jpg This user believes in the Matrixes and needs to seriously get in touch with the real world
Straight.jpg This Uncyclopedian is happy to be 100% straight.
Shyny ub.jpg This user is easily distracted by anything shiny.
Youmadewin0ry.jpg This user completely enjoys pie because it is awesome.
Grueslayer.PNG This user slays grues in his/her sleep.
usbx This user likes to use userboxes.
Cat03.jpg This user owns by one or more cats just so they can keep an eye on them.
Usb! No, really!


Howtodostuff.jpg

This userbox is for people who know, if you wonder what they know, then you probably don't know.

USB!!!!!11 NO, REALLY TRULY REALLY!!!!


Domokunyellownbackground.jpg This user is a grue, and while you were reading this, has eaten you. Start over?
Assassin.JPG I am an assassin, and can kill you anywhere you go from in the shadows. Fear me!
Sunglasses.jpg This user's future is so bright, they've gotta wear shades.
Domokunyellownbackground.jpg This User has joined the Black ops Squadron. and will not hesitate to kill you if your gay or racist.
CtFgr.png This user likes Capture the flag.
NO This user doesn't care.
Oscarfaceicon.jpg
Gadzooks!   This user participates in
T h e   W i l d e   P r o j e c t !
(Or at least pretends to.)
Mindreader8.jpg This user is reading your thoughts!
Firefox Logo.png This user believes the Mozilla Firefox could easily defeat Godzilla.


... This user would be a professional procrastinator, but they can't be bothered.
Jason vorhees.jpg This user is a serial killer, and he/she is standing right behind you!!
Grue Jammy.gif This user has joined The Grue Army to help Uncyclopedia kill vandals, and help users. Please join today!
JFKennedy.jpg This user shot J.F.Kennedy. DON'T TELL THIS USER'S MUMMY!
Barr Irn-Bru 6 X 330 Ml Pack.jpg This user is fae Bonnie Scotland
away an boil yer heed
Nazi Swastika.svg This user is a Ninjazi, with dominion over everything that goes "Sieg Heil".
ego This user is a deluded egomaniac.


Z This user has found the Twenty Treasures of Zork and beaten Zork: The Great Underground Empire.


Red Europe.png This user supports the Union of European Soviet Republics.

(Otherwise known as the EC)

Exploding-head.gif This is what happens to people who disagree with this user.
1337 This user is elite.
Chickychicky.gif
Don't make a move. I'm watching you.
Brain.gif This user's IQ is over OVER 9000!!!!!!.
Naturalhabitat.jpg This user is apart of the offical Uncyclopedia Alliance for Cyber Nations. God help us.
Z2 This user has united the Golden Egg of Arkora and beaten Zork 2: Gruel and Unusual Punishment.


Face-surprise.svg

Just because I think everyone is trying to kill me doesn't mean they aren't. You know what I mean?

Gefahrensymbol F.png This user is a pyromaniac.


British flag.gif This user is a total UKer,
and will commit murder
for a nice cup of tea.

(British Uncyclopedians)
nth WARNING: Keep away from this user as they love working out nth terms.
Userboxtradingcard.svg.png I collect userboxes as if they were trading cards, hoping that they may be collectors items worth something in the future.
Z3 This user has saved the Beautiful Princess Rosemary and beaten Zork 3: The Dungeon Master.


Skullnbones.gif This user is ARR-some!
Flying Spaghetti Monster This user believes in the Noodly Appendage of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism.
Aspie with Humor This user has a sense of humor, in spite of his/her Asperger Syndrome.


Z4 This user has escaped the darkness and beaten Zork 4: Escape From Darkness.


Pi3.14.jpg This user loves pi
Fsm.jpg

This user wants you to be touched.

ao-E This user only speaks AOLer because it was a required course in school.
bs-3 This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of Bullsh!t.
cpp-2 This user is able to contribute with an intermediate level of C++.
Grueslayer.PNG I played Grueslayer and all I won was this lousy userbox!
How dare you consider this user not awesome! How dare you not recognise the awesomeness of this user! This person uses the power of "How Dare You"!
fig-N This user is a native speaker of Fight.
gb-4 This user speaks Gibberish at a near-native level.
mor-1 This user is able to contribute with a basic level of -- --- .-. ... . / -.-. --- -.. . .
Pie-4 This user speaks Pie at a near-native level.
rh-N This user is a native speaker of Random Humour.
Grueslayer.PNG This user finished Grueslayer on hard mode, and is worthy of the title of Grueslayer!
IP This person's IP is 6.6.6.


ru-4 This user speaks Русский at a near-native level.
Cowbell2.gif THIS USER IS ADDICTED TO COWBELL, AND SHOULD BE AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS.
ABYSS This user has survived the wretched dark place we call The Abyss.
C:\>_ This user contributes using DOS.
FireV2.png This user rejects the theory of global warming, or at least thinks it's someone else's problem.
Psi2.svg.png This user studies psychology as it is really easy and sounds good at dinner parties.
A x2 This user is lucky to have survived going through the Grue-infested pit we call The Abyss more than once.


Sense This user promotes the radical idea of having sense.
bu-E This user killed 13 of his classmates in school speaking Bullet.
sa-4 This user speaks Sarcasm at a near-native level.
Boredkid.jpg This user is a Registered User and they can upload images and move pages, whoopdie freakin doo.
Nuvola apps important.png This user hates you and everyone you care about.
3 This user has written 3 articles because they like to keep busy while shirking real life responsibilities.
Kid1.gif This user seriously needs to calm down.
Bananaseizure.gif This user will give you a seizure.
typo-4 Htis user sepaks Typo at a naer0native levle.
This user is right-handed.

In Latin, they would be Dexter.

Dexter.jpg
3wisemonkeys.jpg This *bleep* user likes to *bleep* the use of *bleep* *bleep* profanity *bleep*
MEH This user redefines lazy!
sub subliminal!
MontyPythonFootLeftSmall.jpg This user is from Camelot, and
eats ham and jam and spamalot!
ubx–
crapload
This user has a crapload of userboxes. To see more of them, go to some other page.
DrHouse.jpg This user idolises Dr. House

and wishes they were smart enough to have a Rubik's complex.

official This user is official. They get all their user boxes from here.
Color This user likes random colored userboxes.
Crystalball.png This user can see what you don't!
Lovejoybox.jpg This user is a Christian

(as long as they put a dollar in the box)


Image-4.jpg Formerly lost among the dregs of society, this user has defected and crossed over from the dark side. Welcome to the machine....
Temp This is a template userbox, to create userboxes from. Anyone with it on his/her page is clearly just looking for an excuse to have more Userboxes.
Blue-supra-1.jpg This User can Drift and beat D.K.
US flag.gif

This user is not American
...and unabashedly proud of it.
(But he's not saying where he is from
in case y'all come and bomb the hell out of it.
)

(List of NonAmerican Uncyclopedians)

DramaticQuestionMark.png This user is the random enormous sweet and sour chicken that modeled his thorax inside of your sweet and sour chicken so you must untie him/her with your enormous sweet and sour chicken.
grue This user is grue years old. Woop-ti-doo.
Protein.GIF I joined the Folding@home team, because I have nothing better to do with my computer.
Windows Logo.png This user uses Windows because he or she can't get enough of your lover.


Europeanunion.svg This user is €uro
...and denies their "real" citizenship
(List of European Uncyclopedians )
bu-N This user is a native speaker of Bullet and can fire high-caliber rounds in full-automatic mode.
Dialog-error.svg

This user is not who you think he is. In fact, he is someone who you think is not he, who thinks he is (who you think is not - who is).

Sad clown.jpg
This user is a member of the Uncyclopedia Departure of Fun.
If you are a n00b who is looking at this, you have just exploded

This User a n00b is not, and approves that, Yoda does.

Bofh.svg This user hates telephones. Could be due to the fact that the U.S. government is monitoring them.


Nuvola apps important.svg

This user is EXTREMELY RANDOM Be advised: Approach with caution and a sense of humor.


MS-N This user grew up in a forward-thinking family, and therefore always speaks his mind, you nerd.
BK This user is a
Black Knight!!


Kraspin.gif This user enjoys staring at spinning objects. They may be afflicted with Attention Deficit look at the birdie!.
You can help by paying for their Ritalin, or finding them a kitten to play with.
HeteroSym-pinkblue2.svg.png This user identifies as straight, and so is probably homophobic.
Union of European Socialist Republics Flag.PNG This user supports the Union of Eurabian Socialist Republics.

Death to America!

Bread2.jpg This user is a cereal killer.
Wii.jpg This user prefers the Wii as 'it's the game play that counts'.
610px-NGC Gamecube.jpg This user plays games on the Nintendo GameCube as they broke their window with the Wii remote and can't afford another.
451px-Wii Wiimotea.png This user is a Nintendo fanboy/girl.


Zork This user edits the Zork trilogy.
Abyss This user edits The Abyss.


ow-4 This user had once seen Oscar Wilde in a crowd from a distance and knows all his works and quotes by heart.
Sex This user is against sexuality; probably because it is not a pervert like you.
Bigbroeye.jpg Big Brother is watching this user...and YOU!
ABYSS x?,??? This user IS The Abyss.
Investment bonds.jpg This user is a miser, and couldn't be happier with his/her money!


Hammer and sickle.png This user is a
Communist

& is working on their
Lenin mustache! ☭
Tetris kick ass.png This user kicks butt at Tetяis: not that that's anything to be proud of.
Antisensor.JPG This user is against computer and video game censorship and regulation as they like porn and violence (though not always at the same time).
Eu!naz1.gif This user supports the European Reich.

Heil Hitler!


Hiding kitty.jpg This user is a member of the Anti Kitten Huffing Movement.
Sergeant.PNG
This user is a Sniper and has his/her rifle pointing at your head.
Explosion.jpg This user supports the genocide of crappy articles.
Popeeyebeams.jpg This user has eye beams.


Deadbarney3.gif This user believes Barney is evil, and therefore must die.
Merc.jpg This user is a Mercenary, and chooses their own wars to fight in.


Earth Western Hemisphere.jpg This person helps reduce over-population by killing people, thus helping the environment.


Sergeant.PNG
This user is an Assault Soldier and is pWn1ng n00bs with his quarter gun.


Number of people who tristmaster has owned and pwned at the same time at super smash bros. since you started reading this article.:

CounterZero.gifCounterZero.gifCounterZero.gifCounter5.gifCounter4.gifCounter3.gifCounter2.gif


Push the baby! This article force pushes infants.

You can help by bolting it to the floor.


This user is an ageless immortal, or so they like to think.


Nuvola apps important orange.svg This user should not be trusted.


LV-5 This user considers him/herself a professional gamer and so has the worlds highest scores but no job, money, friends or place to live.


Blackknight.jpg This User has never been punished on Un-Bestiary. Learn from their actions and act like them.



Zombie man.jpg This user is a zombie. BARHAH!


Pink Ninja Gang.jpg This user is not a ninja because ninjas are gay.
AA! AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAAA!!!
9/21 This user will never forget the events of 9/21/07; the day Uncyclopedia was huffed by terrorists.
253951 photo.gif Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring....BANANAPHONE!!!!
FUUUUUUUUUUCK.jpg THIS IS SPARTA!


Wikipedia no soul.png This user will never forget October 23, 2008; the day that Wikia sold its soul. :-S
17-4 This user speaks 1337 at a near-native level.


Small notebook gamer.jpg This user prefers to play games on a laptop as they don't have to stop to go to the toilet.
Nintendo ds.png This user prefers the Nintendo DS over the PSP as they have far superior multitasking abilities.
DomoKun1.jpg

This user is an adventurer.


SignLanguage.png This user understands American sign language.
Canadian snowman.jpg This user is cooler than you.


RS This user plays RunEscape. Laugh at Pray for them.


Unlocked.svg
This user has a Really Lame Password. Seriously, you could probably guess it.

40px-Xbox 360 wireless controller.png

This user plays the Xbox 360 as their pretentiousness knows no bounds.


Iloveny.jpg This user is a New Yorker
... L.A Sucks!!!
(Uncyclopedians from the greatest city ever!)
No Wikipedia.png
Those obsessed with so-called experts should thank their lucky stars that Wikipedia does not have an article about Tristmaster.
Angry jesus.jpg
VIEW AT YOUR OWN RISK

This page is not appropriate for our more sensitive viewers. It may contain naughty, filthy things like breasts, boobies, tits, knockers or funbags. Nasty words like cock, fuck, capitalism, & Barbra Streisand may also appear in the text. Viewing by persons under the age of 18 is not recommended, no matter how much they want to see a page filled with cursing. That means you, <insert name here>. Yes, we know who you are & Jesus is watching you!

this article is about me. me me me me me me me me mem mem emem memem emme memem mem ememmmmmemememememememememmemem,emeeemrmemememememememmemeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. ummm, yea anyway the point is. your gonna die soon. do you know why? its becouse your reading this article and saying candyman. your not? well then your very lucky, mostly becouse you'll live another 5 seconds. point is, your gonna die mostly becouse i kno where you live, and i know how to give directions to chuck norris. so he can kick your ass using a roundhouse kick.


biography[edit]

(speaking in 3rd person) tristmaster was born in a tropical paridise with many others. although unlike the many others, he didnt laugh at mexicans. he grew up to get accounts on many other sites, such as roblox, deviantart, urban rivals, and uncyclopedia. and thats it.


Zqwall cropped.gif3D grue.png
For all those who actually belive someone has killed me. THIS is what really happened. more realisticly, it's a futile attempt to beat me in SSB. and many other online things, as well as real life.


you will see this sign on the way to my domicile.
This is your fate when you get near me in SSB.


intrests[edit]

  • death
  • your mom
  • something other than you
  • uncyclopedia
  • not getting his article huffed
  • god
  • ultimite jesus
  • master hand
  • crazy hand
  • umm
  • err
  • yea.......
  • ......................
  • .......i got it
  • he likes PIE!!!!!!!!!
  • and ice cream
  • and of course brownies
  • play the game
  • or ill kill you
  • c'mon hop to it
  • or ill get michael jackson to see you
  • if your over 12
  • ill get your future cellmate
  • his name is bubba
  • I bet you two will have lots of fun
  • your sister
such beutiful poetry.....

dislikes[edit]

  • lust
  • rape
  • anything about sexual harrasment
  • you
  • educational programing
  • many many other things
  • and more....
  • including the grue
  • water grues
  • shadow grues
  • russian frues
  • other grues
  • eurgs
  • anti-grues
  • you again
  • ..........prepare to die

what else?[edit]

acording to the diagnostic the patiant suffers from severe personality and social issues. fantisizes about killing anyone or anything that acts on his dislikes. and goes against his intrests.

                                                                   -dr.pchycosis

WTF?

YES, THIS is an average encounter with me.
You shall bow down, otherwise you will be Huffed.

The Country[edit]

“In Soviet Russia, tristmasterland is dictated by YOU!!”

~ Russian Reversal on Tristmasterland

Well the country is very intresting, you see. it involves Nazism,Kommunism,facism, imperialism,and ownageism. while this creates some instability, at least he shoots all capitalists. the population is so far about 5,000 due to misbehavior. although it's a well known fact that if you worship tristmaster, you will be forgiven 1 mortal sin, as well as 3 regular sins. best of all in tristmasterland, free biscuit fridays at popeye's chicken and biscuits has been moved tooooooooooo....................all week long. a move very popular with claveman. of course things such as mcdonalds, burgerking, wendy's, and arby's, are also prominant. so remember, obay and eat the food, and you live.EXTRA: now, with this special offer, get a house in Tristmasterland for 100,000,000,000,000,000,000$ cheaper. a house is now 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000$. this special offer is only avaiable for the next 300 years,so call now, remember, in 300 years, duke nukem forever might finally come out(although most likely not) come out, so we have a reason to close the offer in celebration, or sadness. call now at 1-800-666-IPWNU, or log in at www.Tristmasterlandenslavement.com. WAIT, theres more, get a house now and we will give you on FREE copy of ZORK. thats right, a FREE copy of Zork. NO, not Zork 2, Zork 3, Or Zork 4. But the ORIGANAL Zork.(ordering Zork requires 19.99$ to pay for keeping the game on your computer, as well as tax, which is another 20.00$)SO ORDER NOW. GET A FREE CAR AS WELL. Tristmastermobiles are being made to keep the people moving around. as long as you don't press any buttons, you should be fine, or at least not dead. while your at it, get a FREE tristmasternought, the greatest battleship, err motorboat, to sail the seven seas.AND NOW, get a FREE Tristmasterjet. which can fly at 42,000,000,000,000,000,000 MPH.(be warned the jet has no brakes).

Tristmasterland
Domokunyellownbackground.jpg
014.jpg
(Flag) (Coat of Arms)
National Motto: "Obay Grues or we shoot you."
Official language bullet
Capital IPWNYU city
Dictator
Tristmaster(WHO THE FUCK DID YOU THINK IT WAS, HUH, SNAPPLE? I THINK NOT!)
Religion tristmasterism
Independence set since the begining of time. ha just joking i control everyone through mind control
Currency super smash bros. coins
National Anthem "Obay the great Tristmaster"
National Holiday Tristmaster day, Oscar Wilde day.
National Slogan I OWN YOUR ASS


MY NINJASTARS AND AWARDS[edit]

no, i did not steal them. if they look like there stolen its becouse i'm a humerous person. and i try to change the text around a little bit for laughs.