User:MarvinPowell/Lita
Lita is an American Actress, Wrestler, Say-It-Again, E-Fighter, and Mega Rock Star. She is the lead singer of "Amy and the Holograms."
Growing Up[edit | edit source]
Lita was born on a planet named Stratus and was sent to Earth at a young age to conquer it, using the power of bad Rock N' Roll, by her evil alien race, the Say-It-Agains. However, upon arrival, she hit her head on a rock and lost her memory. Lita was raised by Mae Young and her young, rock star boyfriend to be a kind and gentle sexpot, after her memory was wiped clean, and Lita's ambitions to conquer the planet for planet Stratus had dissapeared. Lita was unusual compared to other girls, in that, she was really strong, could bash her powerful chin against any object and break it, and that she had full Double D size breasts by age ten.
Lita spent her childhood, searching for seven, magical Reptile Testicles, said to have magic powers and the ability to grant wishes. Joining the young pre-teen Lita on her quest, was the mysterious, blue-haired whiner and crybaby, Jeff Hardy. Lita and Jeff Hardy would go on many magical, wonderful adventures together as they each searched the world for the magical Reptile Testicles. Lita, along with her new friend and bald, stubby partner, Molly Holly would even be so fortunate to be trained by the Fox hermit, the Fabulous Moolah. Eventually, by sixteen, Lita saves the world from the evil, green Demon Queen, Sable. After defeating Sable, Lita fell in love with Jeff Hardy's pig farmer brother, Matt Hardy. The two would eventually marry, and have a daughter together, by the name of Christy. But alas, Lita had to leave Matt in order to go train in Mexico in case the world would ever be threatened by the likes of the Demon Queen, or others like her.
The Say-It-Agains Saga[edit | edit source]
Growing up, Lita was given the nickname "Turnip-Head", by her surrogate father, Charlie. When Lita turned 18, she had become a powerful Say-It-Again warrior, after training in Mexico with other warriors, the likes of which shocked and amazed her. During her tenure in Mexico, Lita trained with such future legends as Tajiri, Super Crazy, "Y2J Stinger" Chris Jericho, Rey Misterio Jr., and of course, the unforgettable Essa Rios! Rios taught Lita her most powerful signature move, the KamahaMama Wave!
When Lita returned to the states, she followed her ambitions to perform bad Rock N' Roll and formed a band called "Lita, Squared". While performing at a Rock Concert one night, an alien ship lands on stage. Lita is surprised to find two Say-It-Agains emerge from the spacecraft. One was a large and fierce Say-It-Again by the name of Tori and the other was the powerful, fierce, princess of the Say-It-Agains, Trish Stratus. The two had come to destroy the world! Realizing they have a common enemy, Lita and the demon queen, Sable pair up to take on the powerful princess of the Say-It-Agains, and her accomplace, Tori. After a long, 16 episode bout, Lita defeated Trish would with two launching spheres of energy called the Spirit Boobs. The embarassed princess retreated, but vowed revenge on her Say-It-Again sister, Turnipa, aka Lita.
The Chyna Saga[edit | edit source]
After beating Trish, Lita traveled to planet OVW, the home of Sable, in order to search for the OVW Reptile Testicles, in order to revive the casualities of Princess Trish back home. While on her way to OVW, Lita hears of the powerful Queen Giant, Chyna, who seeks to use the Reptile Testicles to become a man. While en route to OVW, Lita trains in hopes to become a "Luchador", a legendary warrior of Lita's race.
When she finally arrives in OVW, Lita forges an alliance with Trish to take down the Queen Giant, Chyna. In the battle though, Trish is killed by Chyna, which enrages Lita and triggers her hair turning blonde and spiky and her transforming into the legendary "Luchador" status. In her new form, Lita defeats Chyna as OVW starts to self-destruct. Lita made it out of OVW just barely alive. Later on, she revives her fallen allies using the WWF Reptile Testicles to bring them back to life.
The Divas Saga[edit | edit source]
Lita finally enters the WWF/E after the defeat of Chyna and is soon met by a Say-It-Again from the future by the name of Mickie James. Mickie informs Lita of a deadly future for th eWWE, where two sexy "Divas" have taken over the entire WWE. Lita's future allies Maria and Jillian would fall to the Divas, while Lita would catch a deadly STD and then, die. Mickie, before returning to her own time, says it's up to Lita, Trish, and the rest of her allies to save the WWE from the Divas before it's too late. Mickie then hands Lita the cure to her STD, which she will soon get in the future.
So, Lita, Trish, Molly, and other friends spend the next three months training for the arrival of the Divas. Eventually, the day comes and Diva Torrie and Diva Stacy arrive in the WWE. Lita tries battling Diva Stacy in the ring, and despite the two-foot size difference, does well against her, up until Lita falls ill to the new STD, known as "Litaria." She has to be rushed from ringside by Trish. Trish goes on to fight Diva Torrie, and during this time, Trish ascends to the Luchador status herself, when her hair turns a bright red, and gets spiky and begins to stick up.
The Victoria Games[edit | edit source]
However, a new threat soon emerges, and eventually, tries to absorb Stacy and Torrie. Stacy gets absorbed first. Despite the help from Lita's allies, Torrie is soon absorbed, as well, by the new villain in town, the "SuperDiva," Victoria. With Victoria being the newest threat, Lita rushes her own recovery, in order to train in the Hoganbolic Time Chamber, a place where time stands still. Lita also brings her daughter, Christy in, as well, hoping that she would one day, be the new defender or the 'E. Meanwhile, Victoria attains her perfect form and hosts her own tournament, designed to test her power. The Victoria Games, named "VictoriMania" would test the limits of all of the E-Fighters. A new, stronger Lita fought Victoria at VictoriMania, bu passed the fight off to her frail, weak daughter, Christy, who was unsure she could win. During the fight, Christy surpasses her own mother and becomes the first Say-It-Again in recent history to reach the level 2 transformation, "Lucha Libre." Now, Victoria starts to lose, and as a last ditch effort, triggers a self-destruct, attempting to blow up the entire WWE by doing so. Lita, however, tosses Victoria into the women's locker room, sacrificing herself to save the others from Victoria's "Three Bean Chili Explosion."
Victoria, even after the blast however, in the WWE! She returns to the ring to finish off Christy. Lita, now fired from the company, talks to Christy from the other side, coaching her not to give up. Inspired by her mother, Christy launches her own KamahaMama Wave, destroying Victoria in the process. Afterwards, Jeff ardy, Matt Hardy, Trish Stratus, and Christy try to wish back Lita, using the Reptile Testicles, but Lita doesn't want to come back, believing that she is the cause of so much danger to her friends and home. She decides to stay out of the WWE, afterall. Besides, she also had a broken freakin' neck!
The Buu Saga[edit | edit source]
Seven months pass, and Lita is able to return to the WWE, but only by sleeping with the "giver of life," Edge. And only for one day, to compete in the 25th annual "King of the Ring" Tournament. During this time, Lita gets to meet her now grown-up, second child, Candice Michelle. However, the day is interrupted by Trish's husband and Mickie's father, Viscera, who wanrs everyone of an evil monster, by the name of Melina Buu, who is currently attempting to be revived by the evil Witch, Ashley Massaro. Lita and Trish try to stop Melina Buu's revival, but after having sex with Edge, Lita's heart is filled with dormant evil, which is brought to the surface by Ashley manipulating her. Lita and Trish fight and Lita kills Trish during this time. Also, their fight revives Melina Buu, and she goes on to kill Christy, who tries to stop her from destroying the world.
Knowing the Reptile Testicles would be needed, Lita, once returning to normal, sends Mickie to go find them, while she stalls Melina Buu. Lita transforms into a "Rated-R" Say-It-Again (Level 3 transformation) to impress Melina Buu. She says she could've beaten her in this form easily, but wanted to see how the new generation takes care of themselves. Before having to leave the WWE again near the end of the day, Lita teaches a fusion technique to her daughter, Candice, and Trish's daughter, Mickie James, hoping that their combined forces would be enough to defeat Melina. Unfortunately, "CanKie," the fused Candice/Mickie failed to defeat Melina Buu.
The ancient Flair Kai at this point, transfers his Life Contract to Lita, allowing her to return to the WWE to stop Melina Buu. At this time, Trish was permitted to return as well to stop Melina Buu, who now had absorbed Mickie and Candice, thus becoming the much more powerful Buu Pheonix! With only one option left, Lita suggests that her and Trish fuse together to become the SuperDiva, "Trishita." The two fuse and easily overpower Buu Phenoix, only to be tricked into being eaten by her!
In Phenoix's belly, Lita nd Trish seperate and the two try to rescue their absorbed daughters and friends out of Buu Phenoix, including the much more innocent Melina Buu. Having rescued their friends and family from her, Buu changes again and ages down to her youngest and most powerful form, Buuly Buuly! Buuly Buuly then procedes to destroy the entire WWE world, right before Lita can allow her, Trish, Mickie, Candice, Christy, and the rest of their friends to escape into ECW.
Buuly Buuly manages to pursue them there though, and Trish comes up with the idea to have the WWE restored by using the OVW Reptile Testicles' wishes, as Lita fights, and loses, to Buuly Buuly. Trish manages to get the WWE restored, so that Lita can summon a massive pair of Spirit Boobs to crush and destroy Buuly Buuly. Trish eventually manages to get everyone in WWE to participate in the Spirit Boobs, with help and persuasion from beloved faux Diva, Mrs. Layla Satan. Eventually, Lita gets the Spirit Boobs charged up and ready to go, but Buuly Buuly is still too powerful. Trish decides to use the second wish of the Reptile Testicles' to restore Lita's vitality and launch the Spirit Boobs on Buuly Buuly, destroying her. Before her death, Lita makes a wish for Buu to come back, as a good Diva.
After WWE[edit | edit source]
Years pass and peace is restored to the WWE once again. By 2007, Lita enjoys her time in the After WWE Life, as a rock star in the band, "Amy and the Holograms." Trish manages to get a job as an Indiana cop after her WWE tenure. Eventually, Lita and Trish have a RAW Family Reunion, where they meet Cherry, a reincarnation of Buu. Lita decides to go on tour, leaving WWE behind forever, and taking Cherry with her, to train her to be the next guardian of WWE and next Women's Champion.
As of April 2007, Lita hosts a punk rock show in Atlanta, called Sexapalooza. Lita's band, has recorded a number one hit, "That monkey that fell out of a tree after sniffing his own butt" that reached #1 on BillBoard's August 17th, 2007.
Awards and Accomplishments[edit | edit source]
- WWE Women's Champion - 2000-2006
- Female of the Year - 2006
- Woman of the Year - 2005
- Feud of the Year - 2004
- Childbirth of the Year - Kane and Lita - 2003
- Say-It-Again Warrior Of The Year - 2002
- Rock Star To Look Out For - 2001
- Spelling Bee Champ - 2000
Facts About Lita[edit | edit source]
- Had Breast Enhancement Surgery in 1999.
- Won a Spelling Bee in 2000, by beating out Essa Rios.
- Had Breast Enhancement Surgery in 2001.
- Killed Jessica Alba in 2002.
- Had Breast Enhancement Surgery in 2003.
- Once DDT'ed Carl "CJ" Johnson off of Mount Chiliad in San Andreas in 2004.
- Was a Three-Time Women's Champion in 2005, alone.
- Had Live Sex with Edge in 2006, and exposed her left breast, in front of millions of fans and lonely virgins everywhere.
- Is diagnosed with ChronoFlatulus, a really serious farting problem which is the real reason behind her retirement.
- Performed with her band on the "Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" in 2007.
- Had Breast Enhancement Surgery in 2008.
References[edit | edit source]
None. Except for FUNimation.com, maybe.
