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Today's featured article From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia The Committee to End Pay Toilets in America was a grass-roots political organization which was (apparently) the sole driving force behind the ban of pay toilets in many American cities and states. Founded in 1970 by then-nineteen year old Ira Gessel, the Committee's purpose was to "eliminate pay toilets in the U.S. through legislation and public pressure." “When a man's or woman's natural body functions are restricted because he or she doesn't have a piece of change, there is no true freedom.” ~ Ira Gessel (More...) Did you know... *...the IRS is asking what's love got to do with your taxes? ... that there's more to the 9/11 attacks than the conspiracy theorists would have you believe? Like, way more? ... that while most Popes don't shit in the woods, sometimes bears are Catholic? ... that in Spanish, "chinga tu madre" means "have a nice day"? Tell your friends! ... that Billie Jean was not Michael Jackson's lover but Macaluey Culkin was? ... that existing is highly dangerous, and should not be performed unless you are competent enough to understand how to perform it? In the news Nee-owm! Kardashian and Ye do washed up things Loneliness is to this university, kinda We have road copters (Pictured) Mummy Pig's pregnancy sparks paternity drama Heinz Doofenshmirtz finally takes full control over the Tri-State Area UnNews remembers Michelle Trachtenberg Cinema ceiling makes dramatic entrance during Captain America screening UnSports update for February! USA and Canada take their trade war to the ice hockey rink. Literally. Philadelphia Eagles ruin Super Bowl "3‑peat" dreams for Kansas City Chiefs, Taylor Swift And more! DOGE implements micromanaging P. Diddy's lawyer quits, says Diddy did it Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI • Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel‑Hamas conflict • ICE rounding up illegal immigrants • Taylor Swift's very unlucky, no good year • DOGE firings and budget cuts • The Oscars • Hackman investigation Recent deaths: The Department of Justice • Michelle Trachtenberg • Gene Hackman, wife and dog, too • Skype • Kingda Ka • David Johansen, The New York Dolls, and Buster Poindexter • Amiright/Inthe00s • UnSpoiler and BeGone extensions • Space Ghost • Everyone's assumption that Millie Bobby Brown is her real name • Tesla's stock • Bob Rivers Upcoming deaths: Yoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedom • Law and order in Philadelphia • Jay‑Z's career and freedom • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Your New Year's resolutions • Los Angeles • Laura Palmer • DEI, for better or for worse • Pope Francis On this day... March 19: Peanut Allergy Awareness Day (U.S.) 1649 - Bengal Death cultists breed a strain of peanut that is fatal to a tiny percentage of the population, for they believe the souls of those who die by the peanut are raised again to fight for their goddess Kali. 1877 - The first child to die of a peanut allergy is called a giant pussy by teachers and school staff instead of getting medical attention. 1931 - Gambling is legalized in Nevada, first casino game is like Russian Roulette, except the gun shoots peanut powder, and rat poison. 1962 - Bob Dylan releases his first album, Nutmeg. The cover actually smells like peanuts and not nutmeg. 1994 - Congress passes the Allergy Awareness Act, which legally puts the onus of responsibility on You to cater to everyone's allergy problems. Sort your fridge asshole. 2008 - Vince from Slap Chop accidentally gets his testicles trapped in the butterfly mechanism of his Slap Chop. 2018 - Parents protest animated movie Peter Rabbit after the titular character chokeslams the allergic antagonist into an industrial vat of peanut butter. Colonization of the Week For the glory of her majesty Help us clear the ivy of crap, and plant the seeds of humour.