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Today's featured article From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia The Committee to End Pay Toilets in America was a grass-roots political organization which was (apparently) the sole driving force behind the ban of pay toilets in many American cities and states. Founded in 1970 by then-nineteen year old Ira Gessel, the Committee's purpose was to "eliminate pay toilets in the U.S. through legislation and public pressure." “When a man's or woman's natural body functions are restricted because he or she doesn't have a piece of change, there is no true freedom.” ~ Ira Gessel (More...) Did you know... *... that not all πr². There are also many π that r rounded? ...that virgins are actually alien beings with zero sex organs, and reproduce via telekinesis? ... that Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted? ... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores? ... pole dancing was introduced to Egyptian culture by Cleopatra? ... that a drummer is someone who hangs out with musicians? In the news BREAKING: NEW POPE ALERT!!! (Pictured) Trump: "You're not the boss of me now and you're not so big." Phil Collins comes out of retirement after wank PBS and NPR to lose funding Spain and Portugal experience a country-wide blackout Sportswriter Leon Sandcastle gives his two cents on NFL draftee Shedeur Sanders's draft slide Trump believes that 200 countries negotiated trade deals with him Man delivers profound philosophical speech about elephants during his sojourn at the zoo Upcoming South Park season will be Canadian World shocked as Pope Francis kicks bucket (This is not a drill!) Chris Rock will succeed him in new comedy Head of Church Trump Administration prepares to deport everybody except Native Americans New Easter Bunny is a fascist Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, and Deltarune • Eurovision • Russian Invasion • Israel-Palestine conflict • DOGE budget cuts • SWAT teams on guard for the "chicken jockey" scene of A Minecraft Movie • Trump and Xi's tariff games • The IRS hunting late tax payers Recent deaths: Jay North • SPOILER: Joel • Pope Francis • Shedeur Sanders' career, before it even started • Lar Park Linkin • Gawr Gura • Toxicity • Girl-kisser and Harriet the Spy soundtrack artist Jill Sobule • Ruth Buzzi • LeBron James' playoff run Upcoming deaths: U.S. and Global economy • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Laura Palmer • DEI • Google's ad monopoly • Cleveland Browns' locker room • LeBron James' career • Diddy's chance at freedom On this day... May 10: Step-Mothers-in-Law Day 1497 - Amerigo Vespucci invents the trendy Vespa scooter, rides it across the Atlantic in search of idyllic cobblestone streets to glide across. 1979 - The tiny Federated States of Micronesia is accidentally squashed by a hippo. (Pictured) 1985 - Live Aid Concerts announced, starving Africans rejoice knowing that in twenty years time poverty will be eradicated. 2004 - Cheap Christmas trees on sale spotted in IKEA. 2006 - "National Step-Mothers-in-Law Day in the USA" organised by The Association for Most Ignored Relatives, founders of "National Younger Half-Brother Day", and "National Grandpa's-26-Year-Old-Girlfriend Day." 2006 - Africa on a diet, pop stars have saved the world! 2016 - Pokémon Sun and Moon comes out for the 3DS. Buy that shit nigga. 2037 - Young MC turns 70, the irony threatens Earth's existence. Colonization of the Week For the glory of her majesty Help us clear the ivy of crap, and plant the seeds of humour.