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Today's featured article From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia The Committee to End Pay Toilets in America was a grass-roots political organization which was (apparently) the sole driving force behind the ban of pay toilets in many American cities and states. Founded in 1970 by then-nineteen year old Ira Gessel, the Committee's purpose was to "eliminate pay toilets in the U.S. through legislation and public pressure." “When a man's or woman's natural body functions are restricted because he or she doesn't have a piece of change, there is no true freedom.” ~ Ira Gessel (More...) Did you know... *... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing? ... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything? ... that Liechtenstein is completely pointless? ... that applause was invented to mock the deaf? ... that Boston Bruins goaltender Gerry Cheevers was one of the most feared hockey players in the so-called "stick to the groin" era? ... that while most Popes don't shit in the woods, sometimes bears are Catholic? In the news The car has been in the works since February/ Clint Eastwood announces plans to live forever Trumpman introduces Trumpmobile (Pictured) Diddy gets off easy, possibly due to bribing jury Musk establishes "Porky Pig Party" to combat Trump's "Big Beautiful Bill" United Nations Secretary General gives up on world peace, World War Three begins Netanyahu and Khamenei get it on Trump joins in for threesome, blows load Khamenei fails to follow up after dirty talk, taps out Elon Musk breaks up with Trump Trump sends condolences to "Sly Stallone" Trump celebrates TACO Wednesday by reversing course on long-held campaign promise THE ROCKIES HAVE WON A SERIES! Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War • Trump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Animal-related live-action remakes kicking Snow White's ass • Jaws 50th anniversary • Colorado Rockies game replacing Jaws airing • Israel/Iran "peace talks" • Pittsburgh Steelers adding old players way past their prime Recent deaths: Fear Street: Prom Queen • John Redcorn • Brian Grazer's career and livelihood, and anyone's respect for him • Sly Stallone Stone • Brian Wilson • Ariana Grande's Nonna • Canadian team's bid to win the Stanley Cup, again • PF4Eva's headphone cable • Jimmy Swaggart • Diddy's freedom for only 20 years Upcoming deaths: DEI • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screen • New York Knicks' future success • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • Greta Thunberg? • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices • Dumbasses with fireworks in their backyards • Diddy's bank account after incoming lawsuits On this day... July 3: International Hot Pocket Day 1775 – In the American Revolutionary War, George Washington goes to Cambridge, Massachusetts and takes command of the Continental Army, known for their delicious breakfasts. 1776 – The Declaration of Independence is peer reviewed. 1870 – Oscar Wilde graduates from Maudlin College, Oxford, with a double-first in Modern Classics and Flower Arranging. 1885 – "He who hath smelt it, dealt it" ruling in federal court sets new legal precedent. 1890 – The moderately severe United States Potato Shortage of the 1880s is resolved when Idaho is accepted as the 43rd U.S. state. 1978 – Conceptual artist Humphrey Crawford exhibits his piece Oil, urine and diesel on canvas (pictured). 1996 – Jeff Goldblum finally begins to figure out how to take down the aliens. 1983 – After a wild night of passion between a Pop Tart and a mediocre plate of Italian food, the Hot Pocket is conceived. Colonization of the Week For the glory of her majesty Help us clear the ivy of crap, and plant the seeds of humour.