User:Aleister/archive8

Yay!

Just wanted to consecrate your new talk page. Congratulation. --~   11:56, January 16, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah, you and HappyMonkey used up all the old one. When I went to get this one they were on sale and there weren't many left. So I bought two, just in case you and the Monkey decide to start talking here again. Why don't you guys get a room at one of your own pages? Thanks for the congrats. Aleister 12:02 16 1 '11

In honour of Skinfan

I think I've got a decent ending to Blockbuster. What do you think? --Black Flamingo 13:25, January 16, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah that makes sense, I like it. When Skinfan gets back I'm sure he'll love it, assuming he still has the ability to laugh after the horrors he's seen. --Black Flamingo 14:03, January 16, 2011 (UTC)

You better believe it son! I saw the work you all did, pretty good job. I added a little bit myself and some links. I'm thinking of a section for me to add in the middle since all I did was the introduction. -- Sir SF13 (Talk) GUN WotM RotM FBotM VFH SK Maj. ΥΣΣ 22:24 EST 16 JAN 2011

Hong Kong

Not only has the VFH of this flamed-out, but SunnyChow has not contributed new sections in a couple of weeks. I have deleted all the parts primarily devoted to making a point rather than drawing a laugh, but you are welcome to correct anything that still doesn't flow well. Spıke ¬ 15:20 16-Jan-11

Do. You. Want. A. Cook. ie. ?. Aleister 2:45 17-1-'11

Go fish. Spıke ¬ 02:51 17-Jan-11

It's so long, so I'll wait to put many of my minutes into it. Is there anything about the Hong Kong flu in it, or the Hong Kong flue? I had a few other things in mind to play with today, but your invitation is very nice and I will take you up on it sometime soon. (wondering why SPIKE wants to flame out on King Kong, and what is this Sunny Chow?) Aleister 3:00 same day

Only the Infobox alludes to the Hong Kong flu. Sunny Chow is the reason I resisted changes in the past; if he contributed something and people reacted to its original form, he might go away, though perhaps now he has anyway. Spıke ¬ 03:26 17-Jan-11

---

Okay, Aleister, I want you to drop and give me fifty reps of its versus it's; I'm surprised that Lyrithya hasn't already gotten you with the frying pan. Anyway, generally good additions (though to an article your Change Summaries keep complaining was already too long!)--I reverted a couple cases where you tried to add humor to a sentence that was funny (I hope) in a different way. My concept as usual is to describe reality in a funny way; thus the "system...of smokes and newspapers" (that is, China's promise is a lie). What kind of newspapers, by way of more humor, blurred the joke by trying to tell another. Maybe I don't belong on a wiki, but some of your edits are to say, This article isn't goofy enough! to which I say, Exactly!

Regarding its length, 6.2 Subsection Routes is a candidate for total deletion. The first paragraph exists only (1) because it was written by the original trainspotters who created the article, and as a vehicle for the pun (Ma On Shan = your mom) that baffled Schamschi on VFH; the second paragraph might have been funny when it happened to me around 1993 but probably has no basis now. Spıke ¬ 14:21 18-Jan-11

Its no skin off my skin, or it's skin, just saying that it'ch a joy to work with a semi-factual page. I missed the jokes you mention, the smoke and mirrors one, oh, the Daily Mirror, why not just say "of smokes and Daily Mirrors". It's make more sense that way. I can see the amount of good work you put into the page, and iti's impressive, just takes awhile to get though it which is fine, and we should have more long pages here. Thanks for letting me play on the page, and I'll just not edit the Routes section when I get to it later if i'ts not long for the article. Aleis'ta minutes later

Smokes and Daily Mirrors--That is a bon mot! If you're not even going to read Routes, that removes its final reason to exist--In I go. Spıke ¬ 14:37 18-Jan-11

Comprise

A day at the language lesson. Am reverting a place where you "corrected" me, resulting in "The first ExeChief was comprised of a primate..., a duck..., and a puppet king." Com-prise (together-take) applies to the collective. The whole comprises the parts--not "is comprised of," as conventional as that sounds. Correct your friends too. (You'll be the life of the party.) Cheers! Spıke ¬ 12:17 19-Jan-11

Thank you. You comprise words well. Maybe I'll do a little bit more at the bottom sections I didn't look at yet (who has?). Haven't looked since yesterday, but do you really need such a big section on forms of transportation? Although as an encyclopedic page maybe Hong Kongers really love their modes of travel, which comprises much of their day. lol at "a primate. . ., a duck. . ., and a puppet king." Aleister not much later, a few minutes

It's a remnant of the article's legacy of being written by trainspotters. I'll take another look and see what I can trim. (Routes is already gone.) Spıke ¬ 12:33 19-Jan-11

Edit conflict

Dammit, "I'll take another look" doesn't mean, "Jump in now and see if you can edit-conflict me"! I minced words in Transport; no major deletions except a paragraph that mostly made fun of taxis in New York. I restored the changes you made to Culture; didn't restore your single-sentence section on Bicycles. Spıke ¬ 12:48 19-Jan-11

Yikes! Bikes! I tried to do edits section by section to avoid edit conflict. Have done some on fashion, but will back off and lick my wounds for awhile. Ummmmmmm, wounds. Aleister 12:53 19-1-'11

I don't think MediaWiki is smart enough for that to work. It takes some measure of what you began with; I don't know if it is Revision Number or timestamp, but individual sections don't have one and they certainly aren't stored as separate files. So, although you are editing a section, MediaWiki must have a copy of the entire file to rewrite. Your edits to Fashion are good. Spıke ¬ 12:57 19-Jan-11

Ah, didn't know that. All the sections of a section comprise. Thanks for the fashion compliment, but I personally dress in MK, so I know the territory like the back of my father's hand. My hair is currently carved into the shape of Bruce Lee's torso. Aleister 13:01 19-1-'11

Wow! Does it do back-flips? Spıke ¬ 13:05 19-Jan-11

Only when confronted by at least six other extreme hairstyles. Aleister much later that same year

No más! No más!

--says your Change Summary, but you keep adding words to a supposedly overlong article! I thought it was cuter to describe Kamikaze as inadvertent. It is a rare Hongkonger who owns a home. And--unless you think this is a good zinger on which to end the article--either say something substantial about Bikes or get rid of the section. Spıke ¬ 01:40 20-Jan-11

The no mas was to the length of the transport section and how hard it was to polish it. I'll leave it now, and run towards the mainland for asylum. The bikes was just a tiny section because they weren't mentioned in the transport section, and are probably one of the more common forms of "moving about" in the city - and its shortness was just that, an ending short joke. Please take it out if it doesn't fit your view of the page, although I would suggest cutting the transport thing at least in half. I was tempted to chop away, but left that to you. Eating Chinese food now, must go. (p.s. I've been in touch with Funnybony, and he wants to stay in touch with you too. Sounds like he may jump in to do a news item once in awhile, but seems to need some time away.) Aleister 00:51 20-1-'11

Bikes weren't common when I was there (though I was usually downtown). This is an oriental Netherlands more than China--if taxis are still as cheap and plentiful. I'll keep working on Transport. Yeah, I got an e-mail and photo from Funnybony as well. I don't understand the rush to get away from Uncyclopedia--though for each of us, the ability to spend hours a day writing for no pay may depend on factors that might cease to be true--but he is visiting as Anon I.P. as though it's necessary to cover his tracks. It may just be that he's married and I'm not. Spıke ¬ 02:05 20-Jan-11

PS--My last two paragraphs of Language are a lot of words to say, "They speak our language funny, and we speak theirs funny too," which is trite; reckon I should cut 'em? Your last edit added jauntiness to a part you're telling me to trim down. Regarding Bikes, the article needs some ending, but this isn't it. Spıke ¬ 02:16 20-Jan-11

PPS--The byte count is now 20,795, versus 29,459 when I got involved, which was near its maximum. I would say that is good enough, given that the article has another constituency (which, thankfully, has not re-added descriptions of the specific locomotives of the KCR during our work). Is there an actual standard for how big articles should get? Spıke ¬ 14:09 20-Jan-11

Spam

For two reasons.

For one, because you page looks smaller, like other things that you have, and the smaller this page (and it) looks, the more of a looser you are. But more importantly. Because i felt like it.

Now let me begin. I'll just give it a small effort, since i don't want it to be erased.

Trololololololololololololololololololololololololo lololo lolololololololololololololololololololololololololol ololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololo lolololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol ololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol

There. Thats enough for now.

Your welcome.

And i want some cookies --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 03:22, January 17, 2011 (UTC)

Thank you. I will find you some cookies. Aleister later

From the Oldest User Ever

I was 26 when Clara Bow was born. I was almost 50 when she started her career. I'm not that young, you know. In fact, I met Johannes Brahms when I was about 10. He was glad to meet a fan. Good music. The music today bis awful. Come on, what the devil is rap. I hate that type of music! --Oldie 04:31, January 17, 2011 (UTC)

Did Stanton actually say "Now he belongs to the ages" or was it more like "How long to get him into those vases?" Aleister 13:08 17 1 '11

Did you hear?

Apparently Garfunkel and Oates are bringing out a show. --Black Flamingo 22:32, January 17, 2011 (UTC)

Nice. What do you mean by show? A road tour, TV special (what ungodly cable station would have them), a Broadway musical. I read on one of their youtube posts that they have or will have a CD (hopefully a DVD with all of their videos). I youtube saved some obscure vids of their's, like with 300 views apiece, some guy taped one of their shows in Los Angeles and loaded the songs up one by one. G&O forever! And I wouldn't be surprised if they have looked at Uncy. Want to collab on a page for them, that could be fun, and we could just make up wild stories about them (nice ones, says the fanboy) and link their vids in between sections. Sound good to me, you? Are you the user who likes them too, or was that Happytimes or someone? Somebody did.Sex with ducks 23:37 17-1-'11

I'm starting to like them yeah, mainly due to the vid on your page right now. I meant a TV show, which is going to be on HBO apparently, and probably some ne'er-watched BBC channel over here (BBC4, I'm guessing). But yes, a collab would be fun. It would be the perfect chance to bring Happytimes out of retirement. --Black Flamingo 14:44, January 18, 2011 (UTC)

HBO, really? Nice. That means that two women who basically made a name for themselves on YouTube have now hit the very big time. The dark haired pixie, I never did memorize their names, shows up on a lot of TV as a minor character, and the blonde has done some bit parts in movies, then there was that horrible exposure on Jay Leno (they were nervous, compromised who they were, and fell flat on their two cute faces). And great, a collab! If collabe were allowed in the PooLit contest this would be a good one. I'll go start a page just to placemark it and we can talk on its discussion page. Sex with ducks. Aleister 14:49 18-1-'11

NOMINATE ME

FOr Magician of the mouth. I just made one HELL of a reappearing act didn't I? – Preceding unsigned comment added by Happymonkey39 (talk • contribs)

You came from nowhere with a rabbit in your hat and an ace up your sleeve. Are you going to enter the PLS contest that starts in a few minutes? I still need a topic and was going to ask on L's talk page for topic ideas. It runs for something like two weeks. Al few minutes later

Nominate me. It must be like a dozen of months for me without getting any award. Nominate me at all the other er... award pages too. --~   19:32, January 18, 2011 (UTC)

M\/M, you got noob of the month, which is nice, and should get some other stuff soon. You could try, whoops, just thought of something. Hee hee. In the meantime, you are an artist, an award all its own! Aleister 21:11 18-1-'11

I've only been nominated for one award so far and it's by some 131 year old guy. I've done some great things here. I've created Fuck ChiefjusticeDS, i've done YouTube Poop, HAHAHA, User:Maniac mcpee/The Gallery Of Uncyclopedia Art, and many many many more. I also pretty much did the full rewrite of Babar and Horace Horsecollar. A lotta stuff in 5 months. -- 21:47, January 18, 2011 (UTC)

I've been here seven months and have managed to get banned more than eight times as many times as you have. That's pretty great, too, isn't it? 1234 ~ 21:55, 18 January 2011

Maniac, you've done good things! The 131 year old guy recognizes your talent, which is nice, because he's seen a lot. He once, I believe, saved the life of Theodore Roosevelt, although you'd have to check with him on that. Recognition is really nice, and comes with time. And your creation of Fuck ChiefJusticeDS finally evolved into a version which is now one of the 44 top articles of the year! Only 44 of them, and you helped to create one! That's a nice personal award, no? And all in all, what are awards if you can't get a girl with them, because if you show a girl your work here she'll run screaming to the Christian guy down the block, shaking in fear and asking him to comfort her with his Christian hands. What do you want that for???? Aleister 22:00 18-1-'11

What are you guys talking about? I just gave you both an MSPaint ninjastar! Doesn't that count for anything?!? -- 22:10, January 18, 2011 (UTC)

Apparently not. Thus is the sad state of things around here. 1234 ~ 22:12, 18 January 2011

A sad state indeed... -- 22:25, January 18, 2011 (UTC)

A mad state if you ask me. Aleister 22:35 18-1-'11

Or a fearfull state. -- 22:39, January 18, 2011 (UTC)

OMG MANIAC PERSON YOU MADE A YOUTUBE POOP PAGE. I MUST CHECK/EDIT/MAKE IS SMEXY WITH MY SMEXYINESS. I can't bealive i never thought of making that one! --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 22:58, January 18, 2011 (UTC)

Lol wut? -- 22:59, January 18, 2011 (UTC)

um ok... and the name's MANIAC MCPEE not MANIAC PERSON -- 01:27, January 19, 2011 (UTC)

And my name is Mimo&maxus not Miro&maxus. --~   14:16, January 19, 2011 (UTC)

Hey! And like I said Mimo, is the MSPaint ninjastar not an award? -- 14:19, January 19, 2011 (UTC)

er... my answer will hurt you. --~   14:21, January 19, 2011 (UTC)

Visit the Gallery, maybe add a photo too. -- 00:38, January 20, 2011 (UTC)

Yo.

As I recall, one of your articles has an image of a man in a toilet costume tackling someone. Could you be so kind as to direct me to this for the sake of a morning chuckle? -- Kippy the Elf Talk Works ☃ 15:40, Jan. 18, 2011

That would be Disguise, and the image could remind you of Tom Brady during Sunday's game. Aleister 15 minutes later

Thanks

I like that you liked my article on the woolly mammoth. Well I finished it, that is to say, I have taken it as far as I can while keeping it free of filler. Others hopefully will build onto it in the future. In the end I hope it turns out to be like some kind of fucked-up mutant baby that is the offspring of numerous authors. It will have all kinds of additional appendages that are flailing around and brushing up against you in an unnerving manner. And it'll just want it all to end, to be put out of it's unnatural misery, but in a good way. --Omnifluff 23:43, January 18, 2011 (UTC)

I just wanted to tell you

You helped inspire the article I'm entering in PLS. Remember the discussion you, me, and Lyrithya had [[Talk:UnPoetia:Poems that don't rhyme|here]]? About stalkers, and Dancing dude It's about that. Anyway, you can read it here. -- 04:02, January 19, 2011 (UTC)

That was a fun discussion page. Everyone on it enjoys playing, and that's nice to get into. I'm glad I could help inspire someone, last time that happened it was a robbery, and then a few people got killed, and "OH CHRIST it was Aleister that done went and inspired me" and then it really got ugly. I'll look forward to seeing your finished page. The one I'm going to do for the contest, probably will get into it a bit tomorrow. I've procrastinated on an idea and now I've sort of committed to write it, but that's for later. Nice work! Aleister 4:08 19-1-'11

Actually, on the topic of stalking, do you think you can do much to polish The Online Stalker. I have to get the song recorded, of course, but you know how fantastic my singing voice is. Then again, it's folk rock - how hard can it be? Nominally Humane! some time Wednesday, 04:28, Jan 19 2011 UTC

I've got a few blank restraining orders somewhere around here. I'll take a look at it now, and dive into it. Grabbed a few seconds glance and, ewwwwww, Simon and Garfunkel. Yech. But will get right on it regardless, as the show must go on. Aleister 4:40 1-19-'11

Creepy, but very good lyrics. Still creepy, which is always good in a not always good kind of way. I must really get off this site now, have been trying to will myself off for an hour or so, and made several "getting off now" announcements like Brett Favre in heat, but this one will probably stick. Thanks for letting me play on your page. Aleister 5:04 19 1-'11

Hmm

I want to make a page about something but I don't know about what. Give me some ideas. --~   14:15, January 19, 2011 (UTC)

Why not make a page about what you know about and experience. No, I don't mean the molestations, or that kinky thing you do with newspaper and putty, but like, what's outside in your background right now? You can write about soil or bugs or what's hanging there in the tree (Ma?). Or a funny observation you made about some off the wall thing, and then tie-it in with a few commonplace things. OK, I'll give you one go do, haven't thought of it yet but here it is: A towel. Do we have a page about Towels, or Towel, whoops, there is a Towel and a Towel whipping. See, towels, now what about Birdhouse? Do a page on a Birdhouse. There you go. As for me, I have to start my poo lit page, eeeekkkk. Aleister 16:46 19-1-'11

Hi

welcome me please. --I'm gay and stupid 14:26, January 19, 2011 (UTC)

Gay AND stupid..... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Just welcome the poor guy --~   14:36, January 19, 2011 (UTC)

Gomphog. You can tell when Gomphog comes around, there's a stirring in the air. Aleister 16:37 19-1-'11

Also, he's been banned, permanently. -- 16:43, January 19, 2011 (UTC)

He gets around that all the time, with new user names and IP's. I'm not saying I know Gay and Stupid is Gomphog, but if the name fits. . . And that's really been an epic battle for you on VFH, which is sort of good as you've changed the page for the better, but I wish it was featured. I'll go look now at some of those scores, there's quite a few really good pages on VFH now. Gomphog, if it is you and you read this, please start up an article on the Tar Pits and then jump on it!!!! hahahahaahahheee Aleister 16:52 19-1-'11

Ya, the way it looks now the page won't get featured. That's too bad. But hey, I'll get a diferent article featured. Or maybe even this one some other time. Anyway, I think it would be better if he starts an article about man eating robots, and then feeds himself to them. Heh heh heh... -- 17:31, January 19, 2011 (UTC)

Well... guess what... that guy wasn't Gomphog... he was someone else --~   14:14, January 20, 2011 (UTC)

WHAT!? Really? -- 15:03, January 20, 2011 (UTC)

Yep. But don't think I'm gay. At least I'm not when it's not about Black Flamingo. --~   15:10, January 20, 2011 (UTC)

Ok, but why? -- 15:12, January 20, 2011 (UTC)

Because if Aleister would welcome that guy, his talk page would say "Hello, I'm gay and stupid" I don't know why I choosed Aleister. --~   16:16, January 20, 2011 (UTC)

Gomphog sure caught it quick, he must be sneaking around my talk page at night, planting listening devices and things. Thanks for the vote on the kitten page, that was a surprise nom by Zana (I've been whoring Todd Palin, who actually is gay and stupid, and didn't expect kittens to show up, meow). Gomphog, I found one of your cell phones here today, what have you been doing? Aleister 16:24 20-1-'11

What kind of name is "I'm Gay and Stupid"? The only worse username is <insert name here>. -- 19:38, January 20, 2011 (UTC)

An award for you

Pie Award

This user has been a good Uncyclopedian, and therefore gets pie.

KEEP YOUR GRUBBY HANDS OFF IT!

---

For your dedication to 'high' quality. Feel free to eat teh whole slice. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 23:23, 19 January 2011

Wow, pie. I lol when I saw this, and already thanked Zana. Then when I cut into it I saw that she had eaten the entire bottom half. Yummmm. Aleister 23:43 19-1-'11

Hi

That "gay & stupid" fellow is not me as I never use "gay" as an insult. Anyhow, I came to tell you that I left a message on your ?pedia account. --User:Gomphog 15:08, January 20, 2011 (UTC)

Oh hello Gomphog! Nice (or not so nice, as it were) to see you again. I haven't seen you in ages! How are the kids? How's the wife? You doin' good? -- 15:35, January 20, 2011 (UTC)

OK, that's worth the note, and that's pretty gay not to use gay as an insult, but commendable (in a gay sort of way). I'll check out your note on that strange site and talk to you there. Aleister 16:09 20-1-'11

Top 10

Aleister, how are you? Tell me, can you explain me the humour of A wizard did it? There is some kind of inside humour im sure, would love to know if you know what it is. Perhaps you know. --Shabidoo 23:29, January 20, 2011 (UTC)

I am fine, and you? The humour of A wizard did it is, of course, different for everyone. For me it's that for anything strange, interesting, fun, or mysterious that happens, a ready explanation is "A wizard did it!" Sort of like a ready-made metaphor for God, or the Saints, or in secular terms the powers that be, the Illuminati, or Mickey Mouse. Someone did it, the human mind believes, and if the person or mind themselves/itself can't accept responsbility for its own creation, why not pin it on the wizard. Like a Festivus miracle, the miracle is in the mundane turned sacred, the sacred turned magical, and then mundane again. The expression "First it is a mountain, then it's not, then it is again" (from yogis and Donavon and kids you meet every day) applies, and the wizard can work his way in that routine if the brain can't accept that it creates its own reality. And the image is a funny Disney-like image, it's fucking magically delicious, etc. On another level is the controversy it caused on the site, much of that long before I got here. And then when it was up for feature, and got featured, the humour of the image was tripled by the fact that it was featured. See it's talk page, and the article A wizard did it: A Retrospective and its talk page. And it's Dexter's page. Everyone loves Dexter. And now it is a meme outside of Uncy, so it's got that going for it too. On many levels, the wizard did it indeed! Aleister 23:35 20-1-'11

Also, look here: Uncyclopedia:In-jokes. It has a little something in there about a wizard did it. -- 23:44, January 20, 2011 (UTC)

What? MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 08:31, January 22, 2011 (UTC)

Who did it all?

Who created Uncyclopedia? Who? I've always wondered that? And are they still on Uncyclopedia? -- 23:52, January 20, 2011 (UTC)

Chronarion, who also used the sockpuppet stillwaters. He got it going, helped to build it up, then sold it to wikia for lots of money and lived happily every after. Aleister 00:05 21-1-'11

What! Really? --~  14:35, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

I don't know about the happily ever after part. I think the rest is fairly accurate, although thousands of more words could have been used to describe it. And I really like your moving-around new signature! Aleister 16:42 21-1-'11

Zana made it. --~  16:43, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

Zana made my fancy one too. She is truly the Goddess of signatures. Here it is: ~   soon after

Wait a minute... who's Zana? --~  16:51, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

Exactly! Women like to stay mysterious. Aleister

"THE SIMPSONS" --~  17:05, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

Begins to back away, not turning his back on M&M, edges towards the doorway. Exits quietly. Aleister

Comes back in. Yells "CSI:MARS", sits in corner holding on to own knees, rocking back and forth. Aleister

*says "THE SIMPSONS" * --~  17:12, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

UnMoving, thousand yard staring ahead. Spider crawls up arm. Thinks it's a gumdrop, gobbles it down. Craves more. There, snapped out of it, must go soon, good talking to you! Aleister

MOE IS BISEXUAL! --~  17:32, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

Aw, fuck. Don't tell me you saw last week's Simpsons' episode. Awful, awful, awful. And guess who made my gorgeous signature? ME!!! -- 18:27, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

What was so bad with the last simpsons episode? --~  18:51, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

They went overboard with the gays... -- 18:57, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

Yes but you can rarely see gays in Simpsons. --~  19:01, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

Uhm...Mr. Smithers is gay, Mimo. -- 19:05, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

Oh, and check out this: UnFun Gang. -- 19:06, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

Mr.Smither is always gay. Watching the same gay guy is boring. Also what's this thing? --~  19:12, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

It's a gang for our "In-group". Read the article to see. -- 19:43, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

Well, almost everyone here has a group they talk to. Many do it on IRC, others on Facebook, others on various talk pages. People are talking to each other all the time. Why don't they just shut up? It's a mystery (Like Zana). And since this is my page, I'll whore a read for both Todd Palin and that Kitten Cookbook article. And the entire VFH page needs some votes, some idiot (me) has had the same feature article up for three days in a row! Four, going for four! But probably won't make it, there's some good stuff up there now. Aleister 19:48 21-1-'11

Are we whoring? Give Flint, Michigan a little push! Spıke ¬ 01:21 22-Jan-11

Maybe if you vote on VFH then I wouldn't have the same main feature for four days in a row now. Not that I'm complaining, my new motto is "One for the thumb!" Aleister 2:50 22-1-'11

Uh, yeah...i'm starting to get bored of that same dreary article being there. --    08:23, January 22, 2011 (UTC)

UnNews:Earth gains on Mars for sandiest planet

Thanks for your UnNews! I added one word to the title--shown above--and made stylistic edits to the article, notably, deleting the first part of the first sentence. Don't interpret the news before you give the news. We are reaching a logjam in good new UnNewses; everything else on the Front Page I am keeping there to hump audios by a sudden flood of new voices (see also my announcement in the Forum). Spıke ¬ 01:18 21-Jan-11

You're very welcome. UnNews is getting some good pages, and the newsroom has recovered from Funnybony's departure although I do suggest putting up a plaque to his career. Maybe bronze his desk and leave it unsat in, or an open phone-line to his office. Aleister 16:45 21-1-'11

The First Lunar-American War

Just re-wrote (essentially) one of my first articles on here, The First Lunar-American War. Thought you might enjoy reading it, cheers and enjoy! -- Sir SF13 (Talk) GUN WotM RotM FBotM VFH SK Maj. ΥΣΣ 0204 EST 21 JAN 2011

Images

I tested it on a pizza. Enjoy.

I dunno if you were aware, but there is another way besides looking for or uploading images to get images to use around here - you can also import them a... imagey-site-thing that I already forgot what it was called. Erm... whatever.

Basically, just go here, tell it what you want, and then click the (import) link under whichever one(s) look like what you want, and it copies them over here for you. Maybe that'll come in useful in the future? Cheers. 1234 ~ 19:55, 21 January 2011

Hey, thanks! I'll give it a try later. Very considerate of you. And that pizza looks really good, mainly because my plan for later was, of course, Pizza! Ummmmmmmmmmmmm. Twanks again. Aleister 17:59 21-1-'11

It's awesome. --~  20:01, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

I just replaced the lame pizza pic on Never on Sunday with this one. Mucho improve ya! Aleister 20:14 21-1-'11

Aye, I thought of you when I came across it... Wonder how many people do know about this feature, though... seems strangely hidden. (And that's the page I got the pizza for, actually. I remembered you couldn't find one before. XD) 1234 ~ 20:55, 21 January 2011

I know. The feature Never on Sunday should be known by more people, and it is strangely hidden (as is the place where you found this pizza). You do good things everyday. Pizza for everyone (that's what you did today, among hundreds of other good things) Aleister 21:01 21-1-'11

I've been looking for something like this for ages. It's wonderful. If only there were a shortcut for it, I'm not going to remember "Special:ImportFreePages" am I? I've forgotten it already. --Black Flamingo 11:57, January 22, 2011 (UTC)

I tried it and imported Bigfoot! Although it wouldn't reduce with "frame", I wonder if they all are non-frame reduce. It works so easy that magic must be involved. For the link I guess just link it once where you keep your codes and stuff. Thanks again Lyrithya. Aleister 12:06 22-1-'11

"Frame" can only show images at the size you uploaded them. You need "thumb" if you want it to look smaller. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 12:14, 22 January 2011

yo! i uploaded one picyure from there too. It's on my NAKJ page. --~  12:14, January 22, 2011 (UTC)

I always try to use frame when I use a pic, for asthetic reasons, and then if it won't downsize I thumb it. I'd say most frames reduce when the pic size is added. Some won't, so I was wondering if this site only give unreducable frames. This could be a great resource for our pics, and for Socky's secret something. Does the site just carry squeaky clean pics, or can we get Hannah Montana giving her dad a blow job? Look again, I brought over Bigfoot! Mimo, please go get one and put it here. Aleister 12:21 22-1-'11

p.s. Seems limited. I couldn't find the pizza pic above even though I entered "Pizza" "Cheese Pizza" and even "Food". Tried other words on different topics and usually got nadda. Even "food" came up blank. Any ideas of search criteria? Maybe i got lucky with "feet". Aleister 12:43 22-1-'11

Yeah, it looks like there's a problem. I can't find anything too. What did you mean "go get one and put it here"? --~  12:49, January 22, 2011 (UTC)

Just to please bring any picture, just for fun. I just uploaded a nice Ghost pic, but most requests have come out blank. Maybe if more terms are used in the box, separated by commas as directed. Even "Barack Obama" came out with nothing. Hit and miss, but still vaouable for sure. The ghost costume pic alone will probably be used on several pages. Aleister 12:53 22-1-'11

Earlier when I typed in "ovum" it brought up loads, now it can't find any. I needed those ova! --Black Flamingo 12:57, January 22, 2011 (UTC)

Yes, I can see from your self photo that you are really pissed. The site has nothing for nude, breasts, blow job, or food. So what good is it in the long run, really. Lots of cats though. I'll go get a good cat I found. Aleister seconds in the future

p.s. You're right! Now "feet" doesn't bring up anything when before it had a lot, including the cat I was going to catch. Hmmmmmm. The site sways to its own drummer.

Disguise

I tried making the mask remain on-page, according to what PotR was saying before with the... nav stuff. Mind, I still don't understand it in the slightest, so could you make sure it even works? And for that matter, what do you think? 1234 ~ 00:29, 22 January 2011

Hello, chomp chomp chomp on the pizza. Ah! Good pizza. Disguise doesn't work at all for me now, the mask stays put and the link to get rid of it just jumps to the feature article which is also a mask. I liked it better before, when it did work, and the red link on the top was impossible to miss which led to your great idea of a second page. Would you mind if it were put back? I don't know what you did, or if your note was a cryptic way of saying that Puppy is holding you against your will. Should I contact somebody? Would you and your abductor Puppy like some pizza? Aleister 00:47 22-1-'11

Hmm... sounds like you don't have javascript enabled at all... should be a [hide] link... or [show] if it is on but being stupid, which it was when I tried it the first time. Clicking the ninjastar was supposed to be a backup because that one does have the link to the undisguised, but that is a kind of stupid backup... perhaps it just needs a better backup?

Aye, you might as well put it back for now; not like I have any better ideas. 1234 ~ 00:56, 22 January 2011

UnNews:Comcast fires Keith Olbermann for knowing too much

I don't see any humor. Something happens to a Democrat, there must be a wave of Republicans at the door. Or reverse the labels. Sounds exactly like what both groups throw at each other in my newspaper's Letters to the Editor in total seriousness. Spıke ¬ 03:12 22-Jan-11

Olbermann goes far beyond "Democrat", he is the voice of American progressivism (although not radical thought and information). But please take it down if you don't like it, I'm emotional about this one and know how much data Olbermann passed into America's discussion of current events. I didn't see your name on recent changes, so acted on my own in what I thought is actually breaking news. Aleister 3:20 22-1-'11

I don't fault you for being emotional; and, as everyone keeps scolding me, it's not about what I like. But you were using UnNews to make a speech. Keep working on it until it gets a comedy concept (cleverer than occasionally saying the opposite of the truth). Spıke ¬ 03:24 22-Jan-11

Not opposite, as Comcast silencing its main asset has to have a large backstory. But more importantly forhere is I don't know how many of our readers will even know who he is. MSNBC's audience is, I believe, about 300,000 people, and the overlap between Olbermann's viewers and our readers might be, rough estimate, 30 or less. So pull it, or put it lower on the stack. Aleister 3:31 22-1-'11

No, I meant the new bit about Obama relieved at losing an "adversary." The answer to the small number of users able to understand it is to back up and explain it (even though doing so makes some of my political UnNewses meander). I won't mercy-move it if you intend to make it funny--as you are able to. If you are telling a serious story, though, and/or don't want to make it funny, you should take it back to userspace and say what you have to say in the Forum. Spıke ¬ 03:41 22-Jan-11

Point taken. Give me a little while tonight and I'll add to it to see where it ends up. Aleister 3:44 22-1-'11

PS--Regarding "putting it lower on the stack," I am unable to do so on the Front Page under the new system; on the Uncyclopedia main page ({{RecentUnNews}}), the goal is to maintain chronological order so readers see first the articles they might not have seen before--not to pass judgement on what I would like them to read. The UnNews Audio list is now a mess, as Nick et al are not recording on the same day the text was written. Spıke ¬ 03:49 22-Jan-11

If I saw your name around I would have contacted you first, but thought you had left for the night. Tried for more funny, but there is only so much room to play with a story like this. The title literally comes from Olbermann's last serious words on the show, as he chose a James Thurber story to read that ended with something about "he knew too much" as he looked into the camera and removed his glasses. A sad night, shocking in what it means to cable journalism. Aleister 4:05 22-1-'11

Yes, a truly sad day for partisan name-calling. I fear you are still trying to tell a serious story (as I lapsed into doing just now), but moving the article is out of the question, as it has been anointed with another great Nick Jones narration.

Meanwhile, I put UnNews:Parliament bans "Tweeting" during sessions on VFH, on the strength of the way Nick pulled together pieces (even sending a request to Zana Dark before I volunteered) for collaboration; voters, before getting to the Audio, decided that the article had been slapped together, to which even Romartus would admit. Now the only UnNews on VFH is Magic man's attempt to troll UnNews. My UnNews:Reds pretend to land on Red Planet is a rare UnNews where I have given in to the wackier side of the Force. Do you think it's featureworthy? Spıke ¬ 13:31 22-Jan-11

I think I did reasonably well with Olbermann, with a twist or two in there. Not a masterpiece but it covers the news. And wouldn't serious stories qualify at UnNews, as long as some humour and fake events are used to tell them? The concept boggles the mind, as Congressman Giffords mind was boggled by a guy who was trying to impress an elderly Jodie Foster. Mars is good, but probably needs edits and polishing. The final paragraph, for example, is misworded as maybe Trump meant to say that America is ready to compete in pretend missions to Mars, and gives the reasons why. I wonder if any of the chineseonauts will refuse to get back in the capsule for the tedious "return" trip. Aleister 13:53 22-1-'11

Yes. Settled. Spıke ¬ 14:24 22-Jan-11

Must go now, will look later. I added more funny to Olbermann, it's getting there. Red Al

Fine; it rarely all happens on the first draft. And I tweaked the final paragraph of Reds to harmonize it with the quote. Bye. Spıke ¬ 14:28 22-Jan-11

Hmph.

You and your... antivandalism... 1234 ~ 04:41, 24 January 2011

UnNews:UnNewsAudio#Other writers whose stuff got broadcast

You are now listed--add your national flag if you care. Spıke ¬ 16:03 24-Jan-11

Never saw that page, there have been a lot of broadcasters. Do you meet once a year over drinks? Aleister 17:42 24-1-'11

Olbermann bis

‘Countdown’ finally runs out for Keith Olbermann is a humor/commentary column from someone on the other extreme--presented by way of explaining why I view the "conspiracy" take on partisan politics as trite. Everyone does it, they do it to be funny or serious, and indeed political parties and their sockpuppets are a conspiracy, which they will deny.

Separately, the AP stories on the termination, including the one I added as a Source to your article, suggest that the Comcast takeover was not an ideological putsch but an excuse for management to react to some simmering personality issues. Spıke ¬ 16:03 24-Jan-11

PS--The author of the above had an entertaining radio show that day on Olbermann ("I've heard his fans are sitting Shiva") plus on Rahm being thrown off the ballot for mayor of Chicago (now overridden) ("My heart feels like a crocodile!"). And, as another example of humor getting too close to reality, my personal stock-in-trade at UnNews Audio, "Speaker Boner, some pronounce it BAY-ner," I've just heard someone on MSNBC do. Mine was humor to be funny; hers was "humor" to ridicule and not have to rebut. Mine is suddenly less funny, as the listener won't be sure I'm just trying to be funny. See the problem? Spıke ¬ 16:57 28-Jan-11

Miley Davis

Think I'm finished (for now, at least). Care to take a look, daddio? Smooth. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 18:25, January 24, 2011 (UTC)

Doody

So you're not voting based on what you find funny, but what other people might find funny? My 13 year old nephew would find a page that says "penis penis penis" the pinnacle of web-based humour, should we feature one? Actually, that's a bad example - I'm sure there would be people who would vote for that... Anyway, the point remains - is that really a valid vote reason? Just askin', not trying to get you to change said vote, because that's not what I'm about, I'm just interested here. --UU - natter 14:13, Jan 25

I sometimes do that on VFD too. I realize that I'm an enclosed universe of experiences and perception, or at least my own signal filter operates and has to be bypassed to see around it, so when lots of other people find something funny that tells me that a good percentage of readers will also like it even if I don't. Some of the users seem adamant about the page, so I realize it has a history before I came here. Is it a good page in my eyes? Not really, and I think it's dated too as the humour of a few years ago has changed so quickly that what was pushing the envelope then will now seem mundane. So it was a close call, and I came down on the side of other people's universes instead of my own (Leary or Wilson or one of those said the best way to expand your own universe is to accept everyone elses). And there seem to be new coding things going on here since I last checked in, I don't really like the new "Recent changes" lettering and spacing format, but maybe bugs will be chased out. Aleister 14:19 25-1-'11

Um, interesting. Do you subscribe to Multiliteralist's view that against votes should be abolished completely then? After all, if someone nominates an article and votes for it, they most find it funny, no? Also if you expand your universe to include everyone else's, then everyone is simultaneously right and wrong, everything should be both featured and deleted, and Sarah Palin is an intelligent and reasonable political commentator. Except for that last one - there's no universe that's true in. Anyway, if you look at it like that, there's also a significant number of against voters - aren't their universes similarly valid? And further: if so many people are against it, won't there similarly be a number of people put off the website by it who may otherwise have contributed? Also on that line: just because some people, particularly teenage boys, might find it funny and forward it on, is that the impression of the site you're happy for people to get? Oh, Uncyclopedia - that's the place with the scat jokes, yeah? (Note: none of these are necessarily my opinions, I'm just interested in your answers.) As to the code, I dunno if it's just me, but the "last featured" box on the homepage seems to be spilling code everywhere. Looks like a job for someone competent - I look forward to seeing when they turn up and what they do... --UU - natter 15:27, Jan 25

Hello, Jean Paul UU. Al Camus here. Existence and non-existence, the . . .wait, well, no, I am not against against votes, hang 'em high when warranted. And no, that article is not what I want representing uncy on the world's blackberries (ummmmmm, blackberries). And the against voters are of course valid too, on this article in particular. There have been many pages I've seen where the votes are large on both sides, and they even out and the thing is removed from VFH, then once in awhile a "A wizard did it" sneaks in and lots of people rejoice and others do what they do. On "universes", I'd say "accepting" doesn't mean "agreeing with" or "helping to promote", but just knowing that one person likes pineapple on their pizza while another likes onions, and a third likes both, and if we live in such totally different headspaces about pizza then just imagine the vastness of what everybody has experienced, likes, thought about, on and on, the sums of those parts a very large universe indeed. And that's not limited to humans, but to mites and elephants and all life, large universes each one. Doesn't say choices must not be made. I'm glad that I voted "yes" on the page solely because of this discussion, it's good to read your points and I get to expound on mine, sort of a college of would-be comics talking behind the scenery before we go on stage or backstage to feed the elephants. And I guess if the page got close to passing I'd probably now change my vote, your points are valid and carry the day - what represents uncy is important yet maybe more of a leeway could be given some things. I think the testing of the boundries occurs with pages like that one, and we find that the boundries do not yet include it. This gets long, or else we could go into individual pages and which ones are fit to share and why. But posts like this will use up the internet quicker, so I sign off, to save the internet. Aleister 19:26 25-1-'11

I will have to stand you a pint one day sir. --UU - natter 20:23, Jan 25

Every For I've ever given has been based on the assumption that someone else will find it funny. I don't think I've liked a single article. --Black Flamingo 21:53, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

Then you've never seen this. I only laugh at babies being maimed by drug-addled escaped convicts. That's entertainment! Aleister 21:57 25-1-'11

I always agonize over wether to vote yes for articles that I see merit in but that don't make me actually laugh. Usually I'll err on the side of not promoting garbage, and I've started becoming more stringent in order to clear up clutter, but there have been the one or two odd exceptions where I've voted for an article where I was in doubt, but usually in a situation where I don't think it likely that it will get supported enough as it is. Problem is that this attitude leads to keep votes on VFD of "I've seen worse." Nominally Humane! some time Tuesday, 23:15, Jan 25 2011 UTC

Yeah, I usually will vote on some quality in the page, even if it's not laugh out loud funny. My favorite page here is not funny in a lol sense, but is a wonderment, the Camera obscura page. Much good satire is not funny, for me it just has to give a twist to something I haven't seen before or expand a concept I have seen. I had my biggest laugh of the week this week scanning down History of Great Britain and, when I came to the end, saw four tiny footnotes. Laughed for minutes at that. Yuky doody, I knew it wouldn't get the votes, but acknowledged that other people regard it as one of the pet pages here. Wandering thoughts. Aleister 00:22 26-1-'11

They blocked the old guy

I was looking at n00bs at the block log to see all the funny things they've done to get blocked. Then I saw something that made me shocked. The Oldest User Ever was banned infinite. By ChiefjusticeDS. Wow. Shocked. -- 22:52, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

I'm just praying he didn't die suddenly of a heart attack when he saw that. -- 22:53, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

Probably because he voted on VFH, although that's just a guess. He was someone's sockpuppet, I don't know who pulled the strings on him though. We shall not see his likes again. Aleister 00:14 26-1-'11

He is indeed a sock, of Maniac mcpee, no wonder he is so concerned. --Chiefjustice3DS 00:19, January 26, 2011 (UTC)

Curiouser and curiouser. Aleister 00:26 26-'11

*hangs head low* I'm a baaaadd boy. --      Go Crazy Awards ~ Contribs ~ Gallery ~ Piglet 21:24, January 26, 2011 (UTC)

To be honest, I thought you were using sarcasm there for a moment. --Revolutionary, Anti-Bensonist, and TYATU Boss Uncyclopedian Meganew (Chat) (Care for a peek at my work?) (SUCK IT, FROGGY!) 22:06, January 26, 2011 (UTC)

This is not a time of sarcasm. It is a time of weeping, sleeping, and gleeping. --      Go Crazy Awards ~ Contribs ~ Gallery ~ Piglet 22:40, January 26, 2011 (UTC)

The main things you did wrong were nom yourself for something, vote on a VFH article, and pretend to the Chief after the old guy was banned. And you talked to your sock, which gives away the sock after awhile. Besides that, I like the old guy. He was a wise man who did many things in his life. I shall miss him. What it shows is you are good at sockpuppets, can change personalities, and stay in character, all good traits for a sockpuppet operator. But there are rules, and you broke almost all of them! I'm surprised you only got a 6 hour ban, but it sounds like that was enough to humble and break your spirit and drive. Cool. Aleister 23:28 26-1-'11

Maniac, I'm going to leave an extremely important message on your talk page now. --Revolutionary, Anti-Bensonist, and TYATU Boss Uncyclopedian Meganew (Chat) (Care for a peek at my work?) (SUCK IT, FROGGY!) 23:42, January 26, 2011 (UTC)

Who saw my apology? --      Go Crazy Awards ~ Contribs ~ Gallery ~ Piglet 23:52, January 26, 2011 (UTC)

--      Go Crazy Awards ~ Contribs ~ Gallery ~ Piglet 00:08, January 27, 2011 (UTC)

Hey

Could you please ask your granny to stop introducing me to everyone as Megan Fox? It is leading to an awful lot of quite enjoyable confusion. Nominally Humane! some time Wednesday, 20:28, Jan 26 2011 UTC

Enjoy it while it lasts, puppy. --      Go Crazy Awards ~ Contribs ~ Gallery ~ Piglet 22:42, January 26, 2011 (UTC)

I am creating an award

Can you help me make some templates for my new award, Maniac of the Month, which is for the person that makes the funniest, most hilarious, article. There is a two day vote from the 27th to the 29th. The award is given on the 30th. Thanks. BTW I already made the actual award template that will be posted onto the winner's wall.

(I had to do a nowiki format because then you are listed as a winner, which you are not yet)

--      Go Crazy Awards ~ Contribs ~ Gallery ~ Piglet 00:03, January 27, 2011 (UTC)

Changed the template to add nocat as a variable. If you add that in there as {{template name|nocat=null}} it removes the category fro the page that it's plunked on. I've also changed it to SUBPAGENAME, because I can. Nominally Humane! some time Thursday, 00:18, Jan 27 2011 UTC

Could you make some templates for the actual article? Like bring in some VFH templates and customize it? --      Go Crazy Awards ~ Contribs ~ Gallery ~ Piglet 00:27, January 27, 2011 (UTC)

You have been nominated

Enjoy your nomination. Best of luck. --      Go Crazy Awards ~ Contribs ~ Gallery ~ Piglet 06:09, January 27, 2011 (UTC)

UnNews:Abraham Lincoln was an asshole, historian concludes

This would be in the 1-Spot right now except for the word "asshole," which detracts from the "real news" veneer, will give offense in the central US, and is not relevant to the humor. You couldn't have done this otherwise? We are not all enlightened Brits. Spıke ¬ 16:49 28-Jan-11

No, but thank you chief. The premise of the article is that Abe Lincoln was an asshole because of his hat, and that an esteemed Lincoln historian (I should add his credentials, thanks) has come to such a crude conclusion and himself uses the word. I see you have gotten the point of the large picture, and I appreciate that you've left the size as it is, a size chosen on purpose, of course, to fit the premise. Aleister 16:58 28-1-'11

I see your premise. In fact, I haven't touched your article. The size of the picture, like the use of the swear, like your occasional encrypting of your signature, I view largely as inside jokes with an audience of 1. Again, can you not do better in terms of our general audience (by which I make a large assumption)? Spıke ¬ 17:03 28-Jan-11

hey!

Mimo&maxus/NAKJ You like it? edit it. --~  16:59, January 28, 2011 (UTC)

Popups

In Snow angels, do you intend for the pop-ups to also break the lines when they come out? It looks like you switched the usual absolute positioning with

relative

, or some such, and there's now a 50px break and stuff upon mousing over. My question is, is this intentional? 1234 ~ 17:21, 28 January 2011

Snow angels. Like little pound cakes. Yes, what I found was that on some pop ups if they're not "center" or "left" will run off the page on the right. So by changing the position settings on the code as well as on the pic itself, they can be brought back onto the page. That's the extent of my code knowledge. Aleister 11:23 29-1-'11

Featurefeaturefeature!

Your wonderful goat article is now featured on ?pedia. And ah did it mahself! *beams* The featuring, I mean. It was weird and confusimacating and I probably forgot parts, but the guy who usually does the featuring always forgets parts, too, so... er... whatever. *shifty eyes*

But seriously, well done, congratulations, and all that, eh? 1234 ~ 06:41, 29 January 2011

Thank you! I'd forgotten it was even on the feature voting there. But wow, thanks. And you put it up yourself (did you ever lock horns with a goat?), which makes it triplely nicer. I will go look at it and say hello to people there. Are they really people, or something else? Aleister 11:26 29-1-'11

Do you like...

My userpage? It has the goat image that's in your article. --~  12:04, January 29, 2011 (UTC)

Of course. And a nice tree or bush pic too. And yes, your porpise pic, did you do it? Did you come up with the idea yourself, or is it a copy from somewhere? I'm asking because if you created it then it is a masterpiece and should be in some illustration hall of blame somewhere. Aleister 12:12 29-1-'11

Porpise? What's that? You mean that tree with the branches? --~  12:32, January 29, 2011 (UTC)

Yes, the tree. Did you photoshop it? I like the porpoise picture too. Aleister 11:34 29-1-'11

I still can't understand what porpoise means but I found the tree photo in that photobucket thing. --~  13:50, January 29, 2011 (UTC)

It means large bird, in some African dialect. I believe the exact translation is "Large bird with beak like rhino horn, wings like airliner." Close enough anyway. Aleister 13:55 29-1-'11

Where did you see the bird? --~  13:58, January 29, 2011 (UTC)

Right in there among the dolphins. I really like the dolphin pic. Did you do it? Did you come up with the idea yourself, or is it a copy from somewhere? I'm asking because if you created it then it is a masterpiece and should be in some illustration hall of blame somewhere. Al, minutes later.

Yep. I did it. --~  14:03, January 29, 2011 (UTC)

Wow. Very nice. I must sign off now, good chatting with you. Al, in present time.

Wait a minute, I mean the pic with the dolphins and the homework. The other one with the sun is not mine. --~  14:08, January 29, 2011 (UTC)

Do you like...

My tight sweater? --Black Flamingo 12:26, January 29, 2011 (UTC)

Hey! Don't steal my ideas! --~  12:30, January 29, 2011 (UTC)

If you are the woman in orange I saw on the street yesterday, yes, yes I do. Aleister 12:31 29-1-'11

Yeah that was me, although it was a satsuma, not an orange. --Black Flamingo 12:36, January 29, 2011 (UTC)

Ah, satsuma. I should have known. Did you know a mature satsuma tree can survive down to –9.5°C (15°F) for a few hours. Of the edible citrus varieties, only the kumquat is more cold-hardy. Satsumas rarely have any thorns, an attribute that also makes them popular. They can be grown from seed, which takes about 8 years until the first fruits are produced, or grafted onto other citrus rootstocks, trifoliate orange being one of the most popular. Aleister 12:50 29-1-'11

Yeah, I knew that. --Black Flamingo 12:55, January 29, 2011 (UTC)

but kumquat sounds funnier. Nominally Humane! some time

So, okay, next time I see you or a puppy on the street I'll strike up a conversation, and we should be having sex not long after that. That'll be fun. Unless you are really a guy, or I am really a woman, and then things will go to the next level somewhere. They can be grown from seed, which takes about 8 years until the first fruits are produced, or grafted onto other citrus rootstocks, trifoliate orange being one of the most popular. Whoops, never mind that last part.Aleister 13:01 29-1-'11

I'm good with the random sex bit - conversation sounds a little dull though. Happy Year of the Rabbit in 3 hours. Nominally Humane! some time

Serious? I didn't know it was Chinese New Year. Chinese food today then, for sure. Aleister 13:26 29-1-'11

p.s. Liar! Liar! It's on February 3rd. Betrayed. Lied to. Crestfallen. Chinese food anyway!

I was assuming it was Chinese new year given the Chinese new year celebrations I went to last night. I found slippers that looked like Grues. What could be more Chinese then selling stuff made in sweat shops at horribly inflated prices? Nominally Humane! some time

UnBooks:Let's take a walk in the city! made it into queue!

Thanks for votin...

-- 23:36, January 29, 2011 (UTC)

Since you liked my sock...

My late sockpuppet the old man has arisen back from the dead to say a few words.

Well, sonny, the boy made a few mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. When I was about 10, in the year 1889, I brought a worm to school to frighten the girls with. I was whipped until I was sore in the bottom. And I apoligized to them. So, everyone makes mistakes. Right now i'll enjoy my time doing other things nowadays.

--      Go Crazy Awards ~ Contribs ~ Gallery ~ Piglet 06:09, January 30, 2011 (UTC)

Hey Aleister!

I made another another picture! Yay! Say something good! --~  13:57, January 30, 2011 (UTC)

Do you mean the flaming gay picture? It's interesting as a pic, and could be used somewhere. Maybe you can move it from 28 Gays Later, as it really doesn't fit the storyline there at all (Adam is never in prison, and it breaks up the story where it's placed) and put it in another article, or even create an article around it! Or an UnNews item. Flamer. I would nominate your dolphin pic for feature picture, but I don't really know how to nom things there. Tried a couple of times and messed up the code. If someone noms it I'll be six thumbs up. Aleister 13:09 30-1-'11

Who said about prison? He doesn't wear a prison form. Those are hospital clothes. This is a real image from the movie. --~  14:21, January 30, 2011 (UTC)

It's a good image, I'm just saying it doesn't fit with the page's storyline. The page was a VFD save that a couple of us worked on, and in our story he wasn't in a hospital (it's not the exact same story as 28 Days Later, but plays off the gay thing). The pic you made looks like a prison background, with a cellblock and all. And I'm serious about your dolphin pic being feature quality, lots of your work is potential feature quality. The dolphin one is good enough that it could be a poster sold to college students for their stained dorm room walls. Aleister 14:29 30-1-'11

Okay I'm putting the pic out of the gays. Did you just say that my dolphin pic is going to be a poster in the future? I'M GONNA BE RICH! YES! ~  14:34, January 30, 2011 (UTC)

I'll nom the dolphin pic for you. -- 14:51, January 30, 2011 (UTC)

Man, you're great. Also congrats for your article. --~  15:03, January 30, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks. And you're welcome. -- 15:06, January 30, 2011 (UTC)

This is it right? -- 15:09, January 30, 2011 (UTC)

er... yes. --~  15:11, January 30, 2011 (UTC)

Would you kindly give me a Pee Review?

"Nothing is better for theeee--than Peeee."

I know I've asked this once already. So would you kindly give me a Pee Review for my Fisher-Price (company) article? I have improved my article since the last time you reviewed it. My Pee Review : Uncyclopedia:Pee_Review/Fisher-Price_(company)_(re-review) hasn't been reviewed in a week. I was wondering if you would take some in doing so please? Thank you once again. DJ Mixerr 17:54, January 30, 2011 (UTC) User:DJ Mixerr/sig

Nevermind, but you can if you want. I was supposed to give my Pee Review to RabbiTechno. DJ Mixerr 18:29, January 30, 2011 (UTC) User:DJ Mixerr/sig

Just saw this, I didn't know the new message banner is a message banner. Today I'm finalizing my poo lit page, will look at your page tomorrow for sure. Thanks. Aleister 16:32 31-1-'11

Like...

Where are you when a pic needs you? --~  13:46, January 31, 2011 (UTC)

Hello? --~  16:01, January 31, 2011 (UTC)

...finally! --~  16:27, January 31, 2011 (UTC)

Didn't know it was there. I changed your caption, and hope you like it. I just got that the new message banner was a message banner, thought it was just a nonsense code. I've been and will be busy today on my poo lit entry, and am in the rhythm of the style and pacing, so won't write much outside of that until I finish, but of course had to break for this. Thanks for the alert. Aleister 16:31 31-1-'11

First congratulations

I assume what you're referring to on my talkpage there is the fact that you won WotY. I left it until the absolute last second trying for a tie, and settled on Sog fairly randomly to be honest. But what the hell, you won! This is literally the best thing that ever happened to anyone ever. This will be getting you laid for years. Well done mate. --Black Flamingo 00:14, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

Damnit to monkey hell. Like I said, I did not want this to happen. Sog and Mhaille and me would have been so nice. I actually expected Mhallie would win with last hour voting. But thank you, I appreciate your nice words. Was that a come on there? What can I say, sure. It hasn't sunk in yet. And you nommed Blockbuster! Nice. I hope Skinfan gets back from fighting in Egypt in time to vote for it. Thanks again. Aleister 00:19 2-1-'11

I'm sorry, Aleister. I know how much you were looking forward to your threesome with Sog and Mhaille. If only I hadn't nominated Snow angels... —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 00:26, 1 February 2011

I know. Snow angels, which tanked, and only you, Rabbi, and a few others got the page. We still had a threesome, but I had to buy the drinks. Aleister 00:54 2-1-'11

Second congratulations: Congratulations. -- 03:05, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

You're magic!

Here:

	Magician of the month January 2011

-- 04:09, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

Thank you, and thanks to the furry users who voted for me. This award is so cool. Aleister 4:32 1-2-'11

I see you.

It is an honour, sir. *bows* 1234 ~ 05:46, 1 February 2011

You deserve it. And I saw your "official" list of pages and then your "unofficial" list, you have so many good things hidden away in corners and in sock drawers (ah, sock drawers) that when they all see the light of day will dazzle those who come near. Or run away. Maniac1075 may even vote for you if he decides to come back and play. Aleister 11:43 2-1-'11

Hidden away? Where? I just have one list... well, I just hope Chief doesn't look too closely at that list, because as is my practice, I'm leaving my crazies in the open. Bad idea, perhaps, but... it saves effort. 1234 ~ 16:50, 1 February 2011

Lucky 13

Sometimes 13 is a lucky number.... Congrats! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  06:55, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

Congratulations... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Thanks, you guys. More on the talk pages. Aleister 11:51 2-1-'11

Congats. Did I vote for you? --~  12:41, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

HELLO! I'M TALKING TO YOU! --~  18:00, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

I can't hear you, there's an echo in here. Did you ask if you voted for me? If so, yes, yes you did, and I really appreciate it. I want to thank everyone by saying it and also be having them look at my user page, where I stuck thank you things. Now that the poo lit stuff is closed, I love your article, the homework one. What great pics and gifs, and finding pics and gifs. In fact. . . duh. Thanks again. Aleister 18:04 2-1-'11

I give you this. I was working for hours to make it. It's yours now. Aleister I believe you WON THIS!

~  18:08, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

I was just writing Lyrithya, who actually made it, but thanks. I don't know if I can use this one as an official version, it will need a ruling from on-high or down-low or somewhere. And you just wait. Aleister 18:14 2-1-'11

Wait for what? You really liked my article? YES! I think it can be third. But you didn't like my UnBook right? Mhaille told me it was nice. --~  18:17, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

I was busy doing other stuff. I did like it, the homework one. Where is the UnBook, I may have missed that. Aleister 18:29 2-1-'11

I mean the Diary of an Uncyclopedia noob. Thanks for the nomination and the vote at the PotM. I'm going to vote for my self right now. --~  18:31, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

Ah, the diary. Yes, it was very good. I liked how it was illustrated, and written in a unique style. And formatted. I like how you put SPIKE and Chief in there. And you are welcome, I intended to do that late in January but then realized that February would be a better time, and you reminded me of it by this talk about your chops. Yay! Aleister 18:36 2-1-'11

Yours is better. --~  18:43, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

Thank you, but not for us to judge. The judges judge, and then cut off heads. The one I wrote was a name I had for months but didn't know what the story would be yet knew that it would be a task once started. So I used poo lit as an excuse to put a deadline on myself, and it came out more layered than I even thought it would. That was a tough row to ho. Aleister 18:47 2-1-'11

Hmmm...yep. Now, should I put a image somewhere? --~  18:50, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

You bastard

You removed my template! I'm hurt! also, ZB is preparing a proper prize template for you ~ 14:31, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

Yes, it looked like I may have left it to brag and boast, so I've sold it on ebay, and damned if Gomphog didn't snap it up. He may be duplicating it as I type, and giving one to each of his socks. (and he will probably see this and answer, as he seems to often monitor my talk page. Hello Gompy - said in the tone of "Hello, Newman". I'll drift over and give zombiebaron a note. I wish he had more work to do. Aleister 17:09 2-1-'11

A brief summary on why I think you deserve thanks

Because you congratulated me. Thanks, Omnifluff 18:19, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

A lengthier side note than the summary on why I thought you deserved thanks

I need instructions on how to take that pacifier badge from the screen. I keep reaching for it, but end up hitting my hand on the monitor screen. I don't think that badge was real at all. --Omnifluff 18:19, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

It can't be removed, it's stuck on the page with some kind of internet glue they have here. Aleister 18:31 2-1-'11

PLS

At first I read all the other articles of PLS but yours, cause it is an epic 10 part epicical odessy, but I thought, no Aleister has blessed my news stories with his keen eye so Ill give her a read. Its really really good! I did have to read it, have lunch, read it, take a few calls, read it, prepare dinner, read it, sleep, read it and then finish it eventually. The matching drink for drink since I was a child part made me laugh out loud. :) When I was writing my entries I was thinking, buuuuuuumer I cant ask Aleister to touch it up with his majic (if he wouldve been willing). Aleister, I have been DYING to colaborate with someone on someting but noone really seems interested (except a rewrite I agreed to to). Are you interested? Like, for seriously? Would you, I dunno, wanna maybe write a page with me...or something? --Shabidoo 19:53, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

Quote please

As it says, could I have a few words from you on how you feel about winning Writer of the Year? Don't worry about how long the quote is, what I put in the UnSignpost will only be loosely based on what you have said, that's how journalism works. --Chiefjustice3DS 21:57, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

YOU'RE MY HERO

Congrats on winning WotY, Al. I always believed in you. Except when I didn't vote for you, but you deserved it. (But, tbh, I only didn't vote for you so there'd be a tie. I like the drama.)→ I am greatSoup? 22:03 1-Feb-11 ←

I'm glad you didn't vote for me, so a tie was closer. Thanks for your thoughts and congrats, yet everyone nominated deserved the award. Seriously. It's like chopping a baby up bit by bit (dibs on the heart and some of the toes). Thanks again, Aleister 23:49 1-2-'11

Well done young Al. You first contacted on this website about wanting to use a photo of a naked woman cuddling a depressed alien I had found on the net. From that strange start...--RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 15:23, February 2, 2011 (UTC)

Seriously? O_o 1234 ~ 18:55, 2 February 2011

Indeed Lyrithya as used here by Al - People Who Like to Fuck Naked. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 23:51, February 2, 2011 (UTC)

Mmm, I'm familiar with the image, but that was his... start, eh... damn, that's awesome. 1234 ~ 01:50, 3 February 2011

Ideas

Aleister. First, congradulations for uncyclopedian of the year. I forgot to say thanks, but then, everyone else is doing it. Im sure you threw a big party with your friends. Do any of them read uncyclopedia. Ive convinced only two of mine to read more than one article. Anyhoo, one idea I had for a project was to outright huff Domo-kun. I tend to dislike huffing, but this article is atrocious, painful. Either that, or just COMPLETELY rewrite it. Pretend it isnt there and replace it with our article maybe leaving one of the original sentences or the original images. If thats not your thing, Ill give you a few more suggestions on the weekend. Rock and roll!!! --Shabidoo 05:58, February 2, 2011 (UTC)

Hello. I just looked at Domo-Kun, doesn't seem too bad. I don't think I could do a Grue article, my knowledge of Grues is limited. And they scare me, and I was raped by a few once. We can "talk" on the weekend then. Drink well but drink something. Aleister 1:54 3-2-'11

Okay, dont know what grue is either. Point is, I know nothing about this character until yesterday, but I find it nice to write about things I know nothing about, such as every article I have written (voodoo, ozone, maxipads, corporations, australia). In anycase, if you arent up for it, the following are things Ive been thinking about:

Another element of the table (might be nice that I with the colaboration with someone on atleast one article will do a few elements of the periodic table and make a project out of it). Silicon is obviously a GREAT posiblility (though hard not to become bathroom humour). As well, sulfur, steel, gold, neon are also possible (dont worry that there is an article we can name it silicon(element). If that doesnt inspire you, I thought about an article on Academy of the English Lanuage, which doesnt exist. If that sounds horrific to you, I also thought about writing on a really basic food ingredient which can be fun as its so open to millionns of possibilites (flour, olive oil, baking soda, nutmeg) of which a couple exist but are stubs. If that seems daunting, then finally I thought about an article on how to:win every award possible on uncyclopedia every month (an article making fun of you, which would be difficult on your part but interesting). If you dont like any of these ideas, then, youll have to come up with a few. Good luck with the snow :S Though funny, I had always suspected you were british for some reason :S --Shabidoo 01:50, February 4, 2011 (UTC)

congratulations on the thing

To celebrate, I'll be drinking.User:Mrthejazz/sig 17:13, February 2, 2011 (UTC)

Please, celebrate for hours, and with your friends. Drink, and drink all night. Thanks, about the thing. Aleister 1:52 3-1-'11

Congrats as well

You are a winner Aleister, plain and simple. You were born to win and you will always win. Except for when you lose. When you lose you are not a winner and no one will talk to you. You are like a poor, street guitar player who suddenly became homeless. You still have the guitar, but something has changed. You have lost.

So here's hoping you always win. Because if you lose I can't be associated with your talk page. And I like this page. Congratulations, Omnifluff 18:49, February 2, 2011 (UTC).

Thanks everyone, I've been sidelined by electricity outage

Thanks all. Appreicated. My home area has had an electricity outage for the last 24 hours or so, but I've got online connection again. I'll scurry, or get scurvvy, to write a few things here tonight, but won't be on long. A few things I want to check though. Thanks again. Aleister 1:42 3-2-'11

That's crazy, man. Out that long? Whatever caused that? 1234 ~ 01:51, 3 February 2011

The riots in Egypt, duh. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 01:54, February 3, 2011 (UTC)

Oh, right... forgot about those. 1234 ~ 01:57, 3 February 2011

Yes, I was one of the pro-Mubarek guys on the camels, and I may have got Fredd after a long chase but I'm not sure. Then the protesters cut my electricity and I had to up the ante by cutting their electricity, and soon those mummies heads were popping off like it was Springtime and the buds were opening. Have you ever seen mummy brains? Not a pretty sight, but not totally unappealing. Aleister 1:57 3-2-'11

I would like to hear anything Fredd has to say, right about now. Meanwhile, two blizzards per week since Christmas, and no outage here. What up with that. Spıke ¬ 02:01 3-Feb-11

After an hour shoveling snow away from Spike's roof so it doesn't turn to ice and pull off more shingles.

Totally agree, Fredd could give us an interesting take. I remember when Funnybony's area was under protest attack, and he reported on it quite extensively and well. I think Egypt has internet access back, so Fredd may appear at some point. Two blizzards per week? You've got to move out of the arctic circle and back to some kind of solid ground. I'll go check out VFD now, see how many pages Spike has saved in the last day. Aleister 2:04 3-2-'11

Hey guize, it's 50 degrees Fahrenheit right now. It was 70 early. You jelly? Yah, you jelly. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 02:09, February 3, 2011 (UTC)

Bleep you Dexter Spıke ¬ 02:18 3-Feb-11

Aleister, Gadzooks is my only current save on VFD. I did Barnstars before that, but the genre mostly belongs to you now. The time I've given to Uncyclopedia has mostly been scrubbing UnNewses from Anons. And I will not leave New Hampshire. Even if I were not giddy about a 290-Republican majority in a 400-man legislature (and they could disappoint me; that is, after all, what Republicans do twice before breakfast), at this point I have to stay and see how it works out. Spıke ¬ 02:25 3-Feb-11

Isn't New Hampshire (I wonder if the people from Hamshire ever visit) about the size of the Rhode Island plus a guest house? And they have a 400 person legislature? Is everyone in the state in that legislature? That snow pic, where were you when I was searching for snow for Snow Angels? I wonder if I can work this in there. Do you mean you paid someone $50 to put that snow there? Aleister minutes later

I don't pay no one to put it there; I only pay people to push it to the side! We also have the 24-person Volunteer Senate. Reassuringly, we have a Portsmouth, on the coast. But for some reason, we also have a Manchester. Spıke ¬ 02:35 3-Feb-11

Marilyn Monroe

Thanks for improving MM. I've been gone for a while now, but it's nice to see others are chipping in. I'm way ahead of you on the whole nose picking thing.-- Sir Claudius CUN VFH (carpe diem) 22:55, February 3, 2011 (UTC)

User:Mimo&maxus/HowTo:Go in Heaven

"Who does not survive the winter, does not deserve the summer."

Help me with this. --~  13:46, February 4, 2011 (UTC)

I won't even look at it now, logging off. Later, perhaps, later. On your dolphin pic, I don't know why it's not getting the votes, it's one of the best original pics I've seen here. To each their owns. Aleister 13:50 4-2-'11

Here's a nice original pic. Spıke ¬ 23:49 4-Feb-11

Wow Spike, all I got was rain. It was really horrible too, because, like, I got wet. Nice Pics. -- 01:04, February 5, 2011 (UTC)

That's funny; it rained here, too. 1234 ~ 01:12, 5 February 2011

Around here, we call "good weather" any weather you don't have to shovel. Spıke ¬ 01:13 5-Feb-11

I like how the snow on the outhouse is set to dump on the next person taking a dump. Nice pic. Aleister 2:17 5-2-'11

Outhouse? you're thinking 1000 miles south of here. That is a solar-powered tool shed. And if it were an outhouse, it would be a six-seater, with lockers, probably. Spıke ¬ 02:19 5-Feb-11

Solar power works best when there is no snow covering the panels. Something else it could be is a horse barn, if you own race horses. Did you see the movie "Secretariat?? Good film, imnho. What's your racehorse's name? Aleister 2:23 5-2-'11

My road has two horse barns, and they are much larger than that. Not that a horse wouldn't fit--it would be awkward getting in and out--but the owners would feel guilty. Spıke ¬ 02:27 5-Feb-11

I got sixteen inches of snow here. And we never get snow here... -- 02:28, February 5, 2011 (UTC)

Why Greece can't have just a little snow? --~  08:04, February 5, 2011 (UTC)

You may have all of mine you can carry away. PS--The solar collector is a little plastic thing sticking out the near side; snow slides off it. Spıke ¬ 12:57 5-Feb-11

Can you send me some snow with a mail? --~  12:58, February 5, 2011 (UTC)

I talked to a friend in Chicago who said the snow was so heavy with such heavy winds that in some places there was only an inch on the ground and then a little way away are six or ten foot drifts up against the sides of buildings. Said that when it was heaviest people couldn't see a foot in front of their face. I'd assume that if someone wanted to see a foot in front of their face they'd just lie down on the sidewalk and watch people walk by. Aleister 13:01 5-2-'11 p.s. And what's that harpoon sticking out of the snowdrift near the front of the picture? Did you try to harpooon a snow drift?

Still

This porpoise has just emerged from its cocoon.

wants help with this --~  12:04, February 5, 2011 (UTC)

But are there geese in heaven? Who wants to be there if they don't have geese? Aleister 12:34 5-2-'11

What's a geese? --~  12:36, February 5, 2011 (UTC)

It's what a porpoise becomes when it comes out of it's cocoon. Al minute later

What's a porpoise? Anyway you like it? I don't. --~  12:39, February 5, 2011 (UTC)

A porpoise is a goose just before it spins its cocoon. Don't like what? Your page, or what it has become since I got my grubby hands on it, or its length (did you want a real long page or a short one?), or maybe some weird twists and screamies into it? Aleister 12:44 5-2-'11

Long. What's a goose? A bird? --~  12:47, February 5, 2011 (UTC)

It's a porpoise after coming out of it's cocoon, and although it has wings and flys, it also honks, so it's not exactly a bird but a type of insect. Long? The only way to make it long is to keep on writing, or put in lots of pics. Maybe that last section I put in can come at the end so the readers can all have sex and drink beer. But a few new sections before it can cover topics of how to eventually get there? What's the next UnStep? Aleister ??

I see... --~  12:57, February 5, 2011 (UTC)

Hey why did you stop helping me? --~  13:15, February 5, 2011 (UTC)

Because I'm watching a goose come out of its cocoon, and enjoying this wonder of nature. I will sign off now, and will do more on your page later. Oh look, a wing! Aleister minutes later

A WING? WHERE? What's a wing? --~  13:19, February 5, 2011 (UTC)

Is being this confusing just a habit of yours, or do you do it on porpoise? (Your mind is a fascinating place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there.) Nominally Humane! some time 13:31, February 5, 2011 (UTC)

Wait a minute, I'm putting this in Google translate. --~  14:07, February 5, 2011 (UTC)

Yes, I am a porpoise. Now, Aleister liar your still online. Why did you lie to me? --~  14:10, February 5, 2011 (UTC)

I was away for awhile, and then thought of an idea. But I will be away again soon. Are you a porpoise on purpose, or are your mother and father porpoises (so that's what the blowhole is for!) Aleister lying to M&M

Steel

-ers vs. Packers.

-- Kippy the Elf Talk Works ☃ 13:06, Feb. 5, 2011

Thanks, I hadn't heard that this was happening. But you do know the game is fixed and has already been played, and the tape will be broadcast tomorrow. The Packers won 31-7. Aleister 13:10 5-2-'11

I actually lol'd at the "I hadn't heard that this was happening" part rather than the second joke. It's like, Hey, did you know there's some kind of sports event this weekend? -- Kippy the Elf Talk Works ☃ 13:17, Feb. 5, 2011

You'll be laughing in your beer when the Packers win 31-7, but by that time it will be too late to get your bet down and the laughter will turn to tears as you say to yourself "Why didn't I pay attention to the second joke, maybe. . .maybe it wasn't a joke". I've seen the tape. And some of those ads are pretty funny, especially the girl getting fucked by the Budweister Clydesdales. Aleister minutes later

Up here, we tune out for the year right after the local team is eliminated. Spıke ¬ 13:27 5-Feb-11

I only knew there was a sports event because they moved most of the snackfoods at the supermarket. And apparently as a result, they didn't have any mountain dew of the proper flavour, the bastards! 1234 ~ 16:33, 5 February 2011