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From today's featured article 

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Terraforming is the hypothetical process by which a planetary body's properties are modified to allow for the building of Costco Wholesale retail stores there. The process was first proposed by astronomer Carl Sagan, who wanted to build a Costco on Venus, as his local Costco was far too crowded, especially on the weekends, making it unsafe to drive in the parking lot. It's generally agreed that humanity has neither the technology nor the societal will to sustain such a gargantuanly expensive venture. Still, this hasn't stopped engineers and scientists from speculating how best to build a Costco on other planets. (Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ... that the square root of 69 is 8 something?
  • ... that the life of Jesus Christ contains many allusions to Superman?
  • ... that there is a pipe bomb placed in your mailbox?
  • ... that the light at the end of the tunnel is commonly reported to be a strobe light accented with techno?
  • ... that if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else?
  • ... that Former President Bush prefers his Tuskegee airmen with a side of risotto and mushrooms?
  • ... that the Welsh language was created when someone fell asleep on a keyboard?

In the news 

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Great mealy-mouthed meatballs!

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, and DeltaruneEurovisionRussian InvasionIsrael-Palestine conflictDOGE budget cuts • Everyone ditching some Disney live-action remake for A Minecraft MovieTrump and Xi's tariff games • The IRS hunting late tax payers

Recent deaths: Meghan Markle's Netflix show • Kurt from Good BurgerGeorge Foreman23andMeBruce GloverRichard ChamberlainRoger Daltrey's eyes and earsVal KilmerYoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedom • Your 401KJay NorthColumbus Blue Jackets' playoff bid

Upcoming deaths: U.S. and Global Economy • Luigi MangioneKate MiddletonLaura PalmerDEIGawr GuraGoogle's ad monopoly

On this day 

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April 19: Clitoris Awareness Day

Picture of the day

Adventure Time with Lewis the Dog and Clark the Human
Expedition Time!
Come on, grab your guides
We'll go to very distant lands
With Lewis the Governor and Clark the veteran
The fun will never end, it's Expedition Time!

Image credit: Nikau (talk)
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 39,637 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.