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From today's featured article [Feature an article]

Alice Springs, Northern Territory, Australia;

John Biasedreporter: We're here in Alice Springs with Lindy Chamberlain-Creighton, who says her baby was eaten by a dingo earlier this morning. Lindy?

Lindy Chamberlain-Creighton: I was out on that big-ass rock out near Alice Springs when this damn dingo ate my baby!

John: A dingo, you say?

Lindy: They look all cute from a distance, but they're savage! They should be hunted to extinction, then thrown on the barbie with some shrimp! They're all monstehs! They would probably be delicious with vegemite! Now I'm hungry. Thanks a lot! (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that Cafeteria food (Pictured) is not generally edible?

... that Godot isn't coming?
... that St. Peter's Basilica is a large reptilian creature with breath of fire and a gaze that can turn people into stone?
... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period?
... that we must nuke the whales, or the hippies will win?
... that dyslexic farmers wear catflaps on their heads?
... that your car is rolling down the driveway right now?
... that I'd rather be a hammer than a nail?

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In the news [edit]

Free bus passes and shawarma for everyone! Until the money runs out..

New York City goes full Commie, elects Zohran Mamdani as mayor (Pictured)
Los Angeles Dodgers win World Series with lucky bullshit, become the Kansas City Chiefs of baseball
Dingo eats a woman's baby
Interview: A Brief Chat About Uncyclopedia with Uncyclopedian and Lucky star.
Indy police: former NFL quarterback Mark Sanchez literally butt-fumbles in real life
Trump receives COVID vaccine despite supporters making their entire personalities being against it for years
The US government continues to shit itself
Starmer unveils new digital ID cards to help further monitor citizens' pornography intake
BoJo and Co. politely ask Nigel Farage to stop lifting children
Omaha man's order of salmon sliders indistinguishable from salmon burgers
Charlie Kirk gets l+ratio'd during a speech in Utah
Sheeranism officially legalised in Yankeeland

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • Pregnant moms taking Tylenol to give their babies "autism powers" • Democrats and Republicans throwing hissy fits in D.C. • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Republicans and rich people fleeing NYC

Recent deaths: Charlie Kirk • Robert Redford • U.S. Federal Government • Jane Goodall • Diane Keaton • Gaza War • Drew Struzan • Windows 10 • D'Angelo • YouTube player's old design • A guitarist and a security guard from KISS • June Lockhart • Nick Mangold • Jamaica, at the hands of Hurricane Melissa • Toronto Blue Jays' World Series dreams • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney

Upcoming deaths: DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • Aforementioned Tylenol moms • Mark Butt-fumble's career• Coral reefs • Capitalism in NYC • Blue Jays fans' livers and kidneys

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On this day [edit]

November 6: Rickroll Day

1962 - Rick Astley born (homosexual).
1987 - Astley robs a bank and finds himself involved in hopeless gunfight but vows never to give up. Has idea for song.
2007 - the first recorded Rickroll amuses internet uses for 15-20 minutes.
2010 - the last recorded Rickroll, performed by your dad.
2025 - Kids these days. Don't even know what a Rickroll is.

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Picture of the day

Satan hates his job, too. You're not like Satan. Are you?

Image credit: RadicalX
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