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From today's featured article 

FrodoGotDaRing.jpg

The famous Ring Bearer Frodo Baggins of the Shire, is a hobbit who saved Middle Earth. The heroic hobbit never set out to be a hero, or to save anything. But he was talked into it and having a good heart, he agreed with Gandalf's philosophy and being a wizard, Frodo couldn't bring himself to get into a battle of wits with someone much older and much more dramatic. The urgent warnings of doom, dark lords, and horrid creatures consuming all the pumpkin patches, cabbage and tomato gardens and strawberries and cream was enough to send Frodo into unnecessary hysteria. So effective was Gandalf's eccentric performance that Frodo agreed to leave the Shire, embark on a quest to an Elf Lord's secret meeting and then opting to go all the way to Mordor without having a single clue as to where the hell it was. But Frodo became renowned, known as a hard-nosed business hobbit, hell bent on revenge. (Full article...)

Did you know... 

Walken click.png
  • ... that the Angel of Death is after you? (Pictured)
  • ... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
  • ... that life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate?
  • ... that [Wiki|wiki formatting]] is perfect]? It never malfunctions'!
  • ... that Ann Coulter is a highly successful parody of right-wing political rhetoric?
  • ... that your car is rolling down the driveway right now?
  • ... that reading this DYK suggestion just wasted 10 seconds of your life?
  • ... that the United States presidential election of 1948 saw the overwhelming defeat of then-President Harry S. Truman at the hands of Thomas Dewey, the Republican governor of New York and former partner in the law firm, Dewey, Cheatem & Howe?

In the news 

President Nicolas Maduro on board the USS Iwo Jima (cropped).png
Great start to the year!

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI and Spaceballs 2 • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Baltimore Ravens fans shitting themselves after both their teams choked big-time • Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Venezuelans unsure whether to freak out or celebrate

Recent deaths: Doug Dimmadome • Zed's dead, baby (He was also the bad guy in The Mask) • Animal Farm • Kansas City Chiefs', Dallas Cowboys', Detroit Lions', Indianapolis Colts', Buccaneers' and Ravens' seasons • Rob Reiner • Bowen Yang's tenure on SNL • Patrick Mahomes' and his backup's ACLs • Brigitte Bardot • Carl Yastrzmski • 2025 • The MetroCard • Stranger Things • Kali • Vecna • The Upside Down • Buffalo Sabres' unexpected 10-game win streak

Not dead: Eleven

Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • The Pittsburgh Steelers' fucking up once again • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • The Sabres actually being good? • Ravens' kicker • Dancin' Maduro

On this day 

At least you'll lose some weight

January 8: National Discrimination Day (U.S.)

  • 8 - First ever January the 8th.
  • 1815 - Andrew Jackson defeats the British in New Orleans, catching them by surprise while they're celebrating the peace treaty.
  • 1828 - The Democratic Party is formed on the principles of looking respectable and competent while doing absolutely nothing else.
  • 1942 - Henry Ford declares his allegiance to Adolf Hitler's dictatorship, repaints all Model T's white.
  • 1964 - Lyndon B. Johnson declares a "War on Poverty", millions of poor people are mercilessly exterminated before Johnson clarifies, "That's not what I meant..."
  • 2009 - Kellogg's continues to conquer the cereal market with smack (Pictured) after finally dropping the honey flavoring and just selling it straight up.
  • 2010 - Scientists discover that stomach acid causes breast cancer, but only when digested. Sorry, Carlin.

Picture of the day

Mickeys
 Mickeys - the drug of choice for today's trendy ravers.

Image credit: Rcmurphy
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 41,153 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.

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