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From today's featured article
My dog, Buddy, is the worst. He's just terrible. Don't vote for my dog! Don't vote for this article. It shouldn't be featured on any encyclopedia. It doesn't align with our website's values. I'll explain everything...
Reasons not to vote for Buddy:
I don't make these kinds of remarks lightly. I have both edited enhanced photos and logic to back up my statements. I'm not saying any of the above things are bad. They aren't in an of themselves. It's just he is the most extreme radical version of all of these things and this article, under no circumstances should be featured because of it. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that Oh My God! There's a Meteor Heading Towards Us? (Pictured)
- ... that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?"
- ... that colorless green ideas sleep furiously?
- ... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
- ... that 90% of all video game high scores are set by one guy called "AAA"?
- ... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state?
- ... that Former President Bush prefers his Tuskegee airmen with a side of risotto and mushrooms?
- ... that the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop?
In the news
- Elon Musk: "Cancel Netflix! I don't care if Max wakes up." (Pictured)
- Labour approval hits record low during Starmer premiership, PM resorts to "getting down with the youth"
- The New York Yankees now fucking suck
- Russian ship shines annoying red laser pointer at British planes
- Ron DeSantis passes Florida bill allowing seniors to hunt zoomers for their skin and organs
- Russian economy on life support after barely growing in 3rd quarter
- The UK to ban the resale of tickets
- Bill passed in Pennsylvania to legalise flying cars because why the fuck not?
- Trump kills the penny after realizing spending four cents on a one cent coin isn't the best idea
- Russian AI powered humanoid robot faceplants on stage in front of crowd
- Syrian National Museum gets robbed of six to seven Roman statues
- Cloudy windy Hurricane Melissa hits da Jamaica, mon! BOMBOCLAAT!
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 2 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE raids • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • The New England Patriots barely beating crappy opponents • Mike Tomlin screwing the Pittsburgh Steelers
Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • Nick Mangold • Jamaica • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya Nakadai • Sally Kirkland • The penny • Udo Kier • Jimmy Cliff
Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song Contest • DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Chiefs Kingdom's livers and kidneys after realizing they will probably miss the playoffs • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7"
On this day
December 2: International Boring Nordic Culture Heritage Day
- 6000 BC - Mankind born from the toil of an ice giant melting into the ocean.
- 227 AD - Freyja starts a new line of Herbal soaps (Pictured) for all the smelly warriors living in Fólkvangr. Odin is unimpressed.
- 432 - Thor gets arrested in Valhalla after being accused of destroying an orphanage while driving a chariot under the influence. Embarrassed, the Nordic people convert to Christianity.
- 900 - Vik the Vinegar, a Viking explorer and real estate agent, discovers a big block of ice utterly unsuitable for human life. He gives it the name Greenland to attract customers.
- 1000 - Explorer and murderer Leif Erikson discovers America, but realizes his mistake in time and lets Columbus and Vespucci have all the blame.
- 2014 - Dylan Sprouse of Suite Life and Suite Life on Deck fame converts to Odinism and opens up a meadery in New York.
Picture of the day
 |
A great disturbance was recorded in the historical community today when what appeared to be a preliminary version of the Michelangelan Fresco that decorates the Sistine Chapel was found spraypainted on a remote alleyway in Rome. Notable historians whatsisname and thatguy said it was due to Michelangelo's intense desire to be accepted into the Renaissance art movement, which they say "required a fair amount of street cred." Image credit: Zombiebaron |
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