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From today's featured article 

Lion vs gorilla.jpg

The World Wildlife Fund (now known with the suffix for Nature in attempt to attract naturists to the fanbase), or WWF, is an animal cruelty based sports entertainment company dealing in professional animal wrestling arranged by animal lovers within the aforementioned organisation. It features fights, wrestling bouts, brawls, fisticuffs and bloodbaths wherein dangerous predators, the lazy and weak, perilous domestic pets and endangered species are the combatants, battling with one another in a pre-defined survival of the fittest.

The WWF features every wrestling fan's favourite brawlers, including the bear, the elephant, the snake, the shark and the chihuahua. All of them scramble for glory in the bloodied ring, leaving no other animal standing, other than itself. The World Wildlife Fund was founded in 1961. The group stated their mission to protect endangered species and other animals, and they promptly set about getting involved in saving poor animals, like injured little bunnies and the rare Siberian orange duck-billed mongoose, from extinction and suchlike. (Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ... that no, doing this does not make your incompetence any less obvious? (Pictured)
  • ... that Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is the world's most intelligent and fastest-growing religion?
  • ... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
  • ... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period?
  • ... that the keyboard you have been using has more germs than your toilet seat?
  • ...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special?
  • ... that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?"
  • ... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?

In the news 

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Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • Impossibly long lines at American airports

Recent deaths: That guy from Boston, not the city, but the band, from the city • Chuck Norris doesn't die, he goes to Hell to regroup • Buffy • Xander Harris • Robert Mueller • Transgender self-identity in India

Upcoming deaths: Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • TSA agents' bank accounts and sanity • Sora

On this day 

How bad can typhoid really be? Lemme get a bite

March 27: Typhoid Mary Day

  • 1513 - Spanish explorer Juan Ponce de León searches Florida for the Fountain of Youth, finds a Marshalls next to a Randalls next to another Marshalls.
  • 1915 - Mary Mallon, nicknamed Typhoid Mary since her name is Mary and she gives people Typhoid, is detained by the authorities after killing like fifty people.
  • 1921 - Activists from the group "Justice for Mary Mallon" die of typhoid after Mary prepares them all a lovely Peach Melba. (Pictured)
  • 1998 - The head of the FDA recommends that men suffering from premature ejaculation just "think about your dad."
  • 1999 - A Lockheed F-117 Nighthawk is shot down over Serbia by a Slav wielding an evil glare.
  • 2014 - The Moro Islamic Liberation Front agrees to ceasefire with Philippines government while they figure out what's so fucking hilarious about their name.

Picture of the day

U2 Falls on Hard Times
 During the late 1990s, the band U2 fell on hard times.

Image credit: RadicalX
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