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God is closest to those who suffer the most

Gangrene is a curse afflicted upon the lovers of vice for their lack of faith, wherein the limbs of the cursèd are made black like the heart of Satan, upon whose maleveolent will rests the fate of all men who seek not the light but the dark. For most severe cases, one sees the maggots feast on the deadening muscle and tendon, gorge upon the fat like B'aal feasting on the iniquities of man. A trained plague doctor may extract these maggots and decant them over the posteriors of those unfortunates whose nostrils unceasingly sneeze.

A diagnosis for gangrene may in due haste be ascertained by only the most trained and battle-weathered, for whom the colors of pustules and the angles of boils are like the trodden forest paths of a village childhood, borne within and known dearly in one's heart, lov'd and from rote recited as if the Lord's Prayer. Lacking a doctor of discerning birth or knowledge, it is best to lie in wait and let Death seize you. (Full article...)

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On this day

January 19: Porn for the Blind Day

8M BC - Monkeys evolve opposable thumbs, discover how to spank the monkey.
1340 BC - Egyptians create the first pornographic magazine, printed on papyrus, men claim they read it just for the hieroglyphs.
1850 - Nudist becomes billionaire after patenting photographs of people naked.
1450 - Johannes Gutenberg invents a press capable of printing tasteful centerfolds.
1968 - Blind porn is introduced, requiring the sight disadvantaged to keep both hands busy.
1971 - The first porno on VFHS is filmed, shows a mustachioed man cumming into a steaming bowl of macaroni and cheese.
1994 - First porn site developed, shows pictures of ASCII boobs: (.)(.)