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From today's featured article 

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Mark Rothko (September 25, 1903 – February 25, 1970) was a Latvian born, American artist who became famous for his color field, abstract expressionist paintings. Since he personally rejected those labels to describe his work and even bristled at the word “abstract”, it’s fair to throw in pretentious avante-garde nutjob as well.

The first achievement of anyone who wishes to become an artist is to break your parent’s hearts by becoming “the special child” who ignores the economic realities of life and forgoes a lucrative or realistic career for the sake of hanging out with other people just like him or herself. Rothko accomplished this pre-requisite during the American Great Depression of the 1930’s and left his mother crying “why why why” many years before the phrase would be popularized by Nancy Kerrigan. (Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ... that the packets of silica gel that say "DO NOT EAT" are actually delicious?
  • ... that prune juice is the world's brownest juice, eventually?
  • ... that Earth has 1 sextillion grains of sand?
  • ... that 69% percent of statistics contain sexual innuendo?
  • ... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore?
  • ... that if you were to stack up all the elephants on Earth, those elephants would die?
  • ... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?

In the news 

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Ongoing: Privacy-infringing Nanny state officials enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran

Recent deaths: Team Canada's pride • Some nerd named Robert Carradine • Warner Bros. bidding war • Neil Sedaka • Ali Khamenei

Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • Weed • Dancin' Maduro • Iran

Undetermined: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

On this day 

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March 6: Roadkill Appreciation Day (North America & Australia)

  • 3500 BC - In the first recorded instance of roadkill, Egyptian Pharaoh Ramses IV hits a small cat with his chariot. Shameful.
  • 1869 - The first historical instance of so-called "cannibal roadkill" occurs when a horse-drawn buggy strikes a horse pulling a second buggy.
  • 1934 - Hitler runs over a small ferret in his Volkswagen, precipitating his later invasion of Poland.
  • 1962 - Julia Childs releases a groundbreaking roadkill culinary masterpiece titled Treadmarks and Tarragon.
  • 1969 - President Nixon continues the Road Kill bombing over Vietnam.
  • 1990 - Road Kill is officially the new Mystery Meat in school lunches.
  • 1995 - Steve Ballmer runs over my dog after yelling at the top of his lungs "I'm going to fucking bury that dog. I've done it before and I will do it again. I'm going to Fucking Kill that dog."

Picture of the day

Anvil Testing
 The American military routinely uses the elderly for weapons testing, as a way to control population growth and keep the price of prunes low.

Image credit: Original concept: MoneySign. Current version: Bizzeebeever
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 40,983 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.

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