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From today's featured article 

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Dead Dicks, besides being the enduring legacy of mythomaniacal former U.S. Presidents, Lyndon Baines Johnson and "Tricky Dick" Nixon, are also a numerical unit of one in Vietnam War "grunt-speak." The term was first used to describe a war stiff reported by the Vietnamese and American governments during the "body count" game. "Body-count" was a ghastly, albeit highly rated televised sport notorious for being imposed on the citizens of Vietnam and America by the captains of both teams. Essentially a dead dick is the complete opposite of a live dick, also known in Vietnam as a "Swinging Dick." From the onset both sides of the conflict agreed via negotiations that "the only good dick is a dead one." Accordingly the scoring system came into play and the game was once again a-foot. (Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ... that Hitler killed himself out of fear of Soviet capture and torture, not because he saw the gas bill?
  • ... that sarcasm is totally the highest form of wit?
  • ... that Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? DRINK COCA COLA
  • ... that the light at the end of the tunnel is commonly reported to be a strobe light accented with techno?
  • ... that 100% of divorces start with marriage?
  • ... that every time you blink, you get transported to another alternative Universe?
  • ... that if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else?

In the news 

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Ongoing: Privacy-infringing Nanny state officials enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran

Recent deaths: Team Canada's pride • Some nerd named Robert Carradine • Warner Bros. bidding war • Neil Sedaka • Ali Khamenei

Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • Weed • Dancin' Maduro • Iran

Undetermined: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

On this day 

I don't really want to do the work today.

March 7: Talk Like Caveman Day

  • 11,000 BC - Grog think very hard and make up number coming after two, called like "tree" but dumb: Grog pummeled with many rock for wasting everybody's time.
  • 9800 BC - All the mammoths are burned to death by Grog, his friends pelt him with poop since they have no food, but now there is no poop to eat either.
  • 2580 BC - Grog's best friend Enkidu seduced by city-slicker propaganda, play dress up as civilized instead of sucking on rocks and eating bugs like good old days.
  • 2500 BC - Grog sandboards down the slope of the Pyramids, is detained and put on cave arrest.
  • 1309 AD - Grog is happy and healthy in cave, while stupid civilized people die of Cholera and Plague, at least until Grog eat juicy rat.
  • 1995 - Unabomber say modern gizmos bad for soul of humanity, but Grog have smelly green leg and must punch antelope to death everyday for breakfast so what does he know.

Picture of the day

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Image credit: DaMenace
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 40,981 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.

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