Tron: Ares

Tron: Ares

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Tron: Ares
"Look at them graphics!"
Directed by	Morbachim Ronningbius
Written by	David DiGilligan Jesse Wiggitywoogity
Produced by	Jared "The Morbster" Leto
Starring	Morbius Greta Lee
Cinematography	Jeff
Edited by	Windows Movie Maker
Music by	0.9" Nails
Production company	Mickey Mouse Studios
Distributed by	The Mickey Mouse League
Release date	October 6, 2025
Running time	Enough time for me to get a solid nap
Country	USA USA USA RAHHHHHHH
Languages	English, Gibberish, Binary
Budget	$180 million
Box office	Many Morbucks

“I don't know why they cast me again.”

~ Jared Leto, on being cast again

Tron: Ares, or Morbius II, is a film produced and released by the propaganda arm of the Mickey Mouse League in 2025. Loosely based in the same universe as Tron, Tron: Legacy, and Morbius, Tron: Ares follows a very bland plot about Dillinger Systems being naughty again and also bringing their video game characters to life via magical 3D printing techniques. Chaos ensues, and there's a whole lot of red glowing visual effects for bad, and blue for good. Morbi- I mean Jared Leto stars as the main character, Ares, who is a evil program that sort of does but doesn't fall in love with some Asian chick, and together they defeat the big mean Dillinger CEO who gets bullied by his mom by turning him into a word doc.

Development for a sequel to Tron: Legacy began in late 2010, but by 2017, Supreme Leader Mickey himself had decreed that like all other Disney IPs and properties for the foreseeable future, it would be a reboot in an attempt to jump start another cash-squeezing franchise into existence. Filming was delayed due to the Saggy Pants Strike of 2023 that had all the writers in Hollywood going back to their old jobs as Starbucks baristas. Due to the death and/or disbanding of Daft Punk, 0.9" Nails (AKA NIN) was brought on board to do the soundtrack.

Released in October 2025, Tron: Ares became the first film in the Morbi-verse to surpass 500 trillion Morbucks. Critics claimed not to be impressed by Leto's performance, but we all know they were just lying. As of October 16, the Tron franchise Mickey once dreamed of has been shelved permanently.

Plot

Part 1

Oh man, the plot... here we go! Several years after some guy tries to save his dad from being stuck on some Hentai game illegally downloaded from the internet, Encom and Dillinger Systems, two equally shit mega corporations, race to be the first to bring video game characters into real life. The CEO of Encom, Eve, travels to the arctic where she finds some math that will allow the video game characters to exit permanently in the real world instead of only lasting 29 minutes. She tests this theory out by 3D printing an orange tree... in the arctic. Pretty sure it would only last 29 minutes no matter what, but movie logic has it last a few hours before passing away.

Part 2

Back in the boardrooms, Julian Dillinger is showing off his newest video character, "Ares," to shareholders. Ares starts to think for himself a little bit as the memories of being Morbius begin to kick in. Julian's mom, who also used to be in charge, insults Julian for making a solider that only lasts 29 minutes, but he ignores her and has Ares and some bald chick break into Encom to go steal all of Eve's browser history. They get caught just as they get to her porn addiction, but manage to escape and disable Encom's entire grid.

"Another happy landing"

Part 3

Eve returns home to realize all her private information is now public, and runs away to hide. She is chased down by Ares and the bald chick on their motorcycles, and she manages to somehow steal one and escape. She then destroys the math code that allows the characters to stay permanent, but right after she is shot by the video game laser that brings her into the video game world. Just before she is lasered into the digital world, she stares into Ares' eyes as he loudly declares "It's Tronnin' time!"

Part 4

After some back and forth, we cut to Ares and Eve being best buds as they race back to Dillinger HQ to go find the permanence code. Ares somehow ends up in a very 80s looking version of the grid, where he has a 5 minute run in with a very crusty Flynn, who gives him the sacred triangle donut, signifying that he is to become a real boy! There's more flashing lights, lots of lasers, and then the bald chick brings a big flying H into the real world that just kind of hovers around for a little while as she searches for Eve. She catches Eve because Eve is kind of lame, and then gets beaten up by Ares who then hugs her as she's dying because the good guys broke the Dillinger computer that allowed them to keep coming back before. RIP bald chick. Anyway, the feds finally get involved, and when they go to arrest Julian, he shoots himself with a laser and goes to live in a Hentai game. Everyone has a happily ever after, but no relationships are formed for some reason, contrary to the usual Disney rule. Ares goes off to live by himself and just sends postcards like that one weird guy you met in high school who still sends Christmas cards. The film ends with Julian discovering the identity disc of his granddaddy's program, that transforms him into the bucket-headed loser that is known as Sark.

Did any of that make sense? No? Well neither did the movie, so...

He did it! He said the thing!

Cast

• Jared Leto as Morbius/Ares, a super-unintelligent program created by Julian Dillinger
• Greta Lee as Eve Kim/Morbia, the current chief executive officer of ENCOM
• Evan Peters as Julian Dillinger, a beta cuck somehow in charge of a company
• Jodie Turner-Smith as Bald Chick, a program second-in-command to Ares
• Hasan Baljeet as Simp #1, Eve's business partner and hater of hygeine
• Arturo Castro as Seth Flores, or Simp #2
• Gillian Anderson as Elisabeth Dillinger, Julian's mommy and domestic abuser
• Jeff Bridges as Kevin Flynn, who shows up for a whopping 5 minutes
• Cameron Monaghan as Caius, a member of Ares' elite special ed unit
• Paul Blart as Cyber Security Pete
• Roger Roger as Henchman #1 for Julian

Production

Development

Honestly there wasn't a whole lot of this, it was mostly them digging up and doing horrible things to the already dead and buried corpse of the Tron franchise. The movie as of late 2010 was going to be called Tron: Ascension, and was going to be about aliens that came from computers.

Re-development

After realizing that reboots were making a lot of money no matter how awful they were, the Mickey Mouse League stepped in to demand some changes. First, Jared Morbius Leto needed a starring role, and second, it was gonna be a reboot dammit. There was much dispute over whether or not this made Legacy canon or not, but according to the script writers, it all worked out thanks to... essentially a multiverse. Fuck. The only part about the movie that was kept somewhat original was the concept of aliens coming from a computer rather than outer space.

Filming

Under the working title of "Velcro Sneakers," the entire film was filmed in good ole Canada, specifically in Vancouver. It only took approximately 9 writers to come up with the script, but only one got all the credit and he is currently fighting the allegations that he had anything to do with any of it.

Visuals

The visuals were arguably the only interesting part of the movie. The visual effects team was given the art direction of "make it all dark, and then add some red lights." Unfortunately this was taken way too literally, and there are only several brief moments where your eyes are NOT being blasted with red laser light coming from Jared Leto's chest/arm/hair/armpit hair.

Soundtrack

0.9" Nails, a band from Toledo, Ohio did all the sounds. ALL the sounds. Approximately 700 hours were spent in the studio to come up with and record all of the futuristic noises plus grunting noises needed by the editing team to insert into the film. After that, they were allowed to write some songs, but due to severe budget cuts in order to afford larger sandwiches for Mickey, Sora AI was used instead. What resulted was some semi-decent music that didn't fit the film franchise and would have honestly been more enjoyable in a standalone film of its own. The film directer firmly denied that the entire movie was "just a music video" as suggested by some critics, but this was debunked when the entire movie was released on 0.9" Nails YouTube channel under the title: "Something You Can Never Have."

See Also

• Any other movie
• Another movie
• Computer
• Computer games