James Cage White

“Hi guys, this is my Uncyclopedia article, very cool, very swag, I like it.”

~ James Cage White on his Uncyclopedia article

This is what you get for not taking care of your child.

Cheng Xi (born October 15, 1984), otherwise known as James Cage White, is a pseudo-White man who is actually Chinese. His ulterior motive is to get white women, but he found a Chinese wife instead. He claims himself to be a "jack of all trades, master of none", as he not only is a social influencer from Vine, but also goes on Twitter every day as his personal diary. Asides from all that, he has one of the most strangest addictions in all of human history, that being the combined actions of buying Steam games and masturbating. He also claims himself to be an "up and coming musician", a video game developer, a streamer on Twitch and YouTube, and an e-beggar who only wants dollars on Paypal. Donate enough money and you get a follow back on Twitter and Instagram, otherwise, he will beg to donate more.

Early life

White was born in Chongqing City, China to a literate family. In his fantasy world, he was born in New York on May 27, 1984 and said his first words: "James Cage White". Little is known about his early life, except that he claims to have learned English since 1997. His name comes from James Bond and Nicolas Cage combined, with the addition of the word "White" to mean white women. He first gained infamy on Vine by doing mundane tasks such as washing clothes as a "reward", going on a journey to find a white woman to clean up his messy table (which failed), and doing the Gangnam Style and Ice Bucket Challenge all at once. After Vine shut down in 2017, he continued to find a white woman in Twitter and YouTube.

Rise to noteriety after Vine

In 2019, White appeared in a dating show called "Mortal Delight", which failed because White didn't find the girlfriend desirable. Also, his mother got into the way as well. White had served his date raw meat twice. It's worth noting that his mother tried to beat him up after the show. He claims to be the "best English speaker in all of Asia", but that's not true at all. He would actually get married and have a child in 2022, and named his child after a South Park character named PC Principal. His parents wouldn't accept that. White would usually clean his son's dirty diapers with a blow dryer after peeing on them, lay his son sideways (for possible privacy reasons), and according to him, it's all according to fate. He claims to not be balding and not autistic, which should be the case because he has never put rosemary oil on his hair and he has done things an autistic person would normally do.

White has scammed his audience by using the "dying father" trick, using cryptocurrency and even making his own one despite not knowing economics, and dislikes being employed even though his audience has said numerous times that he should get a job. He's also been into numerous wet dreams and claims that he didn't masturbate. At one point he stayed in a hotel which he apparently dislikes because he wants to stay home and play games on Xbox. Another source of income he uses is his T-shirt "designs" which look something out of an amateurish artist's portfolio.

It got to the point where his T-shirt shops were banned due to his stances on the LGBTQ+ community and his wife divorcing that his audience decided to turn on him for good.

See also

• Sonichu
• Homophobia
• Asperger syndrome