“I can haz skyscrapurs?”
Shanghai is highly overpopulated and overrated. Due to a high amount of people.
The city has seven times more baby boys than baby girls. All the baby girls were either killed by parents, killed by abortion clinic, or exported to America. Not that baby girls are the only things exported to America. Far from it. They export Thomas the Tank Engine toys, Elmo toys, bokos, cars, trucks, technology, the cheap furniture you bought at Wal-Mart, and tpoy, and STDS.
Overseas Chinese come back to China and look out of place and cause fights with whities as often as possible, yet look down on local Chinese. There is no higher power than the foreign-born Chinese, according to the behaviour of foreign-born Chinese in Shanghai.
Economy[edit | edit source]
The main economy in Shanghai is rice (as it would seem) but also parts per pollution (PPP) which is sold in small canisters (about the size of a cell phone). The PPP canisters can be found underground near railroads, or more importantly near Stinky Toufu Daxue (Toufu University). Once a person obtains a PPP canister they need only to open the lid to collect pollution, thereby ensuring their economic success.
Cuisine[edit | edit source]
This primarily consists of rats on sticks (sold at nightmarkets)....or even better, Panda with Plumblossoms. It is lightly browned or served in a Chinese style hot pot. After this it is put over some old brown rice that was fertilized with night soil, and you end up sick the next morning or 107 seconds later.
Government[edit | edit source]
Primarily run by Chinese midgets who speak in Shanghainese. Foreigners need not apply, you won't be able to understand them, even with ten years of Mandarin training. This is what keeps the government of Shanghai going....
Transportation[edit | edit source]
Pedestrians run severe risk of getting run over by anything that moves. Angered Chinese people on bicycles, angry Chinese people in cars, angry Chinese people on bicycles on sidewalks, angry Chinese people in cars trying to run down angry Chinese people on bicycles trying to run down oblivious people on sidewalks, and angry white people who are lost.
The trains will leave you with a semi disfigured ass because of "hard seats."
Lines mean nothing, traffic lights should be ignored at all costs.
The Real Facts[edit | edit source]
Shanghai is a city where people go to find hot Chinese girls. Shanghai smells of poo, due to the controversial 'One Man, One Poo' Chinese Communist ideology that insists that each citizen must carry around both an ID card and a stool sample at all times, incase of emergencies.