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From today's featured article 

Samueljacksonbabysun.jpg

[The Teletubbies are eating their custard breakfast]

LAA-LAA: How many pounds of custard are we talkin' here?

DIPSY: We're talking, like... at least 500 pounds of custard in that vault.

TINKY WINKY: No shit? That's a whole lot of fuckin' custard. That would do wonders for our business, man.

PO: You guys remember that motherfucker, Noo-Noo? Little vacuum thing? Baby Sun told me he's already got information regarding the joint.

TINKY WINKY: Noo-Noo? We worked with him once and I nearly fuckin' died cause of it, remember? His goddamn battery started overheating and he almost exploded! How can we be sure he's reliable for a job as big as this?

(Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ... that I'm secretly looking for Nazi Gold right now? (Pictured)
  • ... that the Virgin Birth is no longer considered a miracle? Women have been giving birth to virgins for centuries!
  • ... that the moon is not made of cheese, but magnesium of milk powder, which explains why everyone that ever goes there feels sick when they come back?
  • ... that contrary to popular belief, popular belief isn't all that popular?
  • ... that every single day, we breathe enough air to continue living?
  • ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis?
  • ... that in the Mesozoic Era, toasters ruled the earth?
  • ... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?

In the news 

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On this day 

Oh God I feel it.
April 24: Regretting Eating Those Novelty Chocolate Easter Bunnies Day (U.S.)
  • ∞ BC - Time begins, to the disappointment of trillions.
  • 1353 - Badger maulings reach record levels in Europe.
  • 1704 - The first regular newspaper is published in America: The Boston New-Letter, containing overly-opinionated columns and hyped-up headlines. Circulation soars.
  • 1856 - The word chairman is introduced to the Oxford English Dictionary as "A person with a proclivity to stand sitting."
  • 1862 - The American Civil War on spelling begins, the letter 'u' in 'color' being the first victim.
  • 1995 - The most amazing child on earth was born, sadly, he was born in Croatia.
  • 2005 - George W. Bush declares, "America is officially full," all immigrants rerouted to Nunavut.

Picture of the day

Lance Brick
 When it was invented, the lance with a brick on the end was considered a marvel of contemporary medieval war technology. The lance with a brick on the end made it possible for unexperienced, n00b knights to defeat 1337 knights using the old-fashioned, brick-free lances nine times out of ten. The vast superiority of the lance with a brick on the end led to its near-universal adoption within a period of less than two decades. Note that the n00b knight on the right also has an Apexi "Cat back" muffler system on his head, which is first evidence that riceboys existed as early as the 14th century.

Image credit: Sunsneezer
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