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From today's featured article [Feature an article]

Nelson Roflmfao Mandela (18 July 1918 – 5 December 2013) was a South African racist and politician who served as President of South Africa for three decades. His administration focused on re-directing racism, poverty and inequality to the detriment of all races. He served as de facto president of the African National Congress (ANC) political party from 1963 to 1999. Despite his odious politics, he retained a certain amount of affection in the global community, largely due to his resemblance to actor Morgan Freeman.

Mandela was born in Tallahassee, Florida to a surprised white father and a guilty-looking white mother. As a young boy he grew up with a confused hatred for both black and white people, and dreamed of moving to South Africa after hearing Malcolm X describing it as "a country that preaches segregation and practises segregation." He saw South Africa as an opportunity to bring misery to both races, by taking money from the oppressive whites, while at the same time continuing to oppress black people under his own terms. (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that Pope Francis (Pictured) played football for Argentina?

... that Earth is the best planet in the world?
... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
... that George Washington was an avid heterosexual?
... that while most Popes don't shit in the woods, sometimes bears are Catholic?
... that the only way to survive a massive nuclear blast is to crouch underneath your desk?
... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
... that school is an asylum where they mentally and physically abuse you for seven cruel hours, all with your parents' approval?

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In the news [edit]

Sly Stallone
(1946-Present)

Netanyahu and Khamenei get it on
Elon Musk breaks up with Trump
Trump sends condolences to "Sly Stallone" (Pictured)
Trump celebrates TACO Wednesday by reversing course on long-held campaign promise
THE ROCKIES HAVE WON A SERIES!
Hit videogame Deltarune about to be released tomorrow!!!
New York Knicks throw tantrum, fire head coach for barely missing the NBA Finals
Elevation Worship's Chris Brown filling in for mainstream Chris Brown until further notice
Taylor Swift buys back her masters
"Real" Timothee Chalamet at 2024 look-alike contest actually Finn Wolfhard

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War • Trump and Elon's social media feud • The IRS hunting late tax payers • NBA finals and Stanley Cup • Aaron Rodgers finally signing with a team

Recent deaths: George Wendt • Updates for Mortal Kombat 1 • Rick Derringer • Carolina Hurricanes' choke job in the playoffs • New York Knicks' surprisingly kickass season and coach's tenure • Fear Street: Prom Queen • John Redcorn • Brian Grazer's career and livelihood, and anyone's respect for him • Sly ~~Stallone~~ Stone • Brian Wilson

Upcoming deaths: DEI • Diddy's and Chris Brown's chances at freedom • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screen • New York Knicks' future success and ego • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • Greta Thunberg? • R. Kelly • Los Angeles, again

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On this day [edit]

Business in the front, Grand Old Party in the back.

June 17: Presidential Mullet Day (U.S.)

1878 - Mount Everest built by Nepal to encourage tourism growth, and annoy Tibet.
1885 - An immigrant from France, the Statue of Liberty arrives in New York Harbor and lands a job as an oversized greeter.
1980 - Regicide is all the rage, until the local king bans it. Prude.
1992 - Lieutenant Planet is promoted to Captain Planet.
1994 - OJ Simpson, football legend and innocent man, is chased through the streets of LA in a show of overreach and incompetence by the LAPD.
1995 - Activists raid a waffle mill and manage to set thousands of waffles bred in captivity free onto the streets of Chicago.
2001 - After years of disappointing sales of Regular K, Kellogg's releases Special K to huge success.

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Picture of the day

St. Michael the Archangel attempts to slay Charles Darwin to prevent him from revealing Michael's horrible secret. Darwin, belonging to the fitter of the species, survived.

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