From today's featured article
Established in 1864, the Marmite School for Boys and Young Gentlemen has been furthering the minds of young children and forming the next generation of sophisticated gentlemen for over a decade; in our humble location in a suburb somewhere in Ohio, our dedicated teachers have shaped many people. Movie stars, scientists, peace makers, astronauts, in fact it is guaranteed that 50 out of 500 students will be able to get a job with our education. Our motto "Entsprechen oder sterben" is reflective of the high quality of our education, to us it suggests pride, dedication, honor, respect. Unlike various school systems across the globe, we take this motto to heart; we don't cut corners when it comes to our education, in fact we take corners in order to provide you with the best quality education possible. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that Pigpen had a collection of over 200 various skin diseases during his childhood? (Pictured)
- ... that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?
- ... that the United States presidential election of 1948 saw the overwhelming defeat of then-President Harry S. Truman at the hands of Thomas Dewey, the Republican governor of New York and former partner in the law firm, Dewey, Cheatem & Howe?
- ... that every single day, we breathe enough air to continue living?
- ... that one person can change the world, but the admins will probably just revert it?
- ... that suicide is an answer to every problem, just not a very good one?
- ... that torture is better to give than to receive?
- ... that vaccinations and computer games combined make a deadly cocktail for autism?
In the news
- Writers strike ENDS!!! (Pictured)
- Blackdick removed from Saw X
- Bar fight breaks out at formal dinner party
- Kevin Spacey FULLY ACQUITTED!!!
- Twitter bird has ceased to be!
- SAG-AFTRA on strike: Where are the B-listers?
- Pat Sajak retiring from Wheel of Fortune, Vanna says, "GIV_ M_ A RAIS_!"
- Vladimir Putin assassinated by Carrie Mathison
- Singer Tina Turner dies at 83
- Sweden wins Eurovision, Loreen becomes first artist to win twice since Johnny Logan
- Uncyclopedia writers on strike!
Ongoing: Hollywood on strike · Russian Invasion · ABBA
Recent deaths: Harley Quinn · Jimmy Buffett · Steve Harwell · Gary "Dream Weaver" Wright · The Writers Guild of America negotiations
Upcoming deaths: The Writers Guild of America strike (2023) · SAG-AFTRA strike 2023 · Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter
On this day
- 75 BC - Julius Caesar assembles a small army to punish the prophet Mosey for ransoming him at too low a cost.
- 20 - God invents Grues to punish Jews who prosecuted Jesus.
- 879 - Vikings find the word "Viking" offensive. Change name to Berserkers.
- 1936 - The great prophet Barry Foster is killed by an unplugged electric model tram whilst convening a Burns supper; he is subsequently devoured by his guests as part of the main course.
- 2006 - You log on and view Uncyclopedia; millions die.
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