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From today's featured article [Feature an article]

Reddit is a social media content aggregation trash heap populated by liberal college dropouts where anyone can (re)post links to things they find on the internet, and then refresh every five seconds in anticipation that their link will quickly become popular, only to get disappointed as their post didn't match up with the capricious whims and fancies of the all-important algorithm. Most content that hasn't been reposted to oblivion probably waits in squalor, only to be reposted several months later by another user to thousands of upvotes. Users that post original content are extremely rare on Reddit, and claimed sightings of OC are usually just stolen from 4chan, while alleged sightings of OC posters have been made, none have been confirmed, and to date 0 OC sightings have been confirmed. (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that in China, there is no MySpace, but a communist alternative? (Pictured)

... that there are at least three other businesses like show business?
... that genocide is a perfectly healthy response to any personal problems you may have?
... that when a suicide bomber dies and goes to paradise, he is given 72 virgins? But all of them are wiki editors?
... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know.
... that it's probably not the weekend (The chance is 5/7)?
... that in 1933, the Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's?
... that the entire world rightfully belongs to Albania?

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In the news [edit]

"Real" Timothee Chalamet at 2024 look-alike contest actually Finn Wolfhard
Qatar personally gifts Trump a plane
Austria wins Eurovision (Pictured)
MLB welcomes cheaters and pedophiles into HOF
New cast and plotlines announced for longest running Filipino sitcom
BREAKING: NEW POPE ALERT!!!
Trump: "You're not the boss of me now and you're not so big."
Phil Collins comes out of retirement after wank
PBS and NPR to lose funding
Spain and Portugal experience a country-wide blackout
Sportswriter Leon Sandcastle gives his two cents on NFL draftee Shedeur Sanders's draft slide
Trump believes that 200 countries negotiated trade deals with him
Man delivers profound philosophical speech about elephants during his sojourn at the zoo
Upcoming South Park season will be Canadian
World shocked as Pope Francis kicks bucket (This is not a drill!)
- Chris Rock will succeed him in new comedy Head of Church

Ongoing: Eurovision • The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, and Deltarune • Russian Invasion • Israel-Palestine conflict • DOGE budget cuts • Trump and Xi's tariff games • The IRS hunting late tax payers

Recent deaths: Ruth Buzzi • LeBron James' playoff run • Night Court • Lopez vs Lopez • Jayson Tatum's Achilles and Boston Celtics' repeat hopes • George Wendt • Updates for Mortal Kombat 1 • Rick Derringer

Upcoming deaths: DEI • Google's ad monopoly • Cleveland Browns' locker room • LeBron James' career • Diddy's and Chris Brown's chances at freedom • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screen

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On this day [edit]

Why does God stay silent in the face of suffering?

May 28: Punctuation Awareness Day

1729 - The period is invented on this blessed day.
1744 - After much consternation and debate, the comma is created.
1758 - Breaking news: colons, exclamation marks, and oxford commas finally invented!
1763 - Was the question mark invented on this day? Who knows.
1771 - The semicolon is invented; the gentlesirs way of separating clauses.
1777 - Some apostrophes wouldn't hurt.
1819 - Lawyers from Dewey, Cheatem & Howe copyright the ampersand. Thank God for fair use.
1903 - Interrobang‽ Interrobang‽ Kill me‽ Kill me‽ Interrobang‽

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Picture of the day

The apple pie chart: A winning presentation.

Image credit: Okochama
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