Protected page

Main Page

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Welcome to Uncyclopedia,
the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
115 active editors • 40,590 articles in English

From today's featured article 

Lion Hardboard Oil.gif

A hardboard has revealed that it suffered abuse at the hands of Rolf Harris for many years, frequently being "made to wobble" on television against its will.

"He promised me a life in showbiz," the board told us, "and my eyes lit up. I had always been ambitious about my future. I didn't want to spend my whole life in the factory – the factory where I was made I mean. I wanted to be part of something big, perhaps a table or a cabinet. When Rolf said he was going to make me a star on stage, I thought he meant as part of the background scenery." Instead, the board revealed, Harris subjected it to decades of humiliating abuse, carrying it on stage in his licentious, hairy arms and "wobbling" it for his own and the crowd's enjoyment.

"I never told anyone because I didn't think people would believe me. I just used to freeze and go stiff as a ... well, as stiff as a board when he grabbed ahold of me, but unfortunately that just made the sound even more effective." (Full article...)

Did you know... 

Big bird thanksgiving.jpg
  • ... that still lifes are the most interesting paintings?
  • ... that one person can change the world, but the admins will probably just revert it?
  • ... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?
  • ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit?
  • ... that creating an account comes with a 50% higher chance of leaving of Uncycloland alive?
  • ... that when a suicide bomber dies and goes to paradise, he is given 72 virgins? But all of them are wiki editors?
  • ... that while most Popes don't shit in the woods, sometimes bears are Catholic?

In the news 

Trumproject.png
Trump pictured holding up his project in front of his friends. They're all delighted.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian InvasionGaza WarTrump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Israel/Hamas and Russia/Ukraine "peace talks" • Rock drummer exodus (not to be confused with Tom Hunting or Zbigniew Fyk) • Chicago Bears winning the preseason • K-pop: the movie doing surprisingly well

Recent deaths: Ozzy OsbourneChuck MangioneHulk HoganResident AlienDown syndromeTom LehrerThe systemFUBARCartoon Network/Adult Swim/Toonami on Comcast's basic cable package • Sydney Sweeney's new movie • Terence StampThe Devil's Rejects Unrated Director's Cut 4K (also Saw 2 & 3)

Upcoming deaths: DEIR. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account after incoming lawsuits • The flowers you bring Alan BergmanBryan Kohberger, at the hands of his fellow inmates • Chicago Bears' regular season • MSNBCROBLOXCracker BarrelLil Nas X

On this day 

Mask oggle.jpg

August 28: International Horniness Day.

Picture of the day

iWin
Even the power of an iPod is no match for the common gun.

Image credit: Llama-Llover
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

Other areas of Uncyclopedia

Sister projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

Uncyclopedia languages

This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 40,590 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.