EgaP niaM
From today's featured article
Terraforming is the hypothetical process by which a planetary body's properties are modified to allow for the building of Costco Wholesale retail stores there. The process was first proposed by astronomer Carl Sagan, who wanted to build a Costco on Venus, as his local Costco was far too crowded, especially on the weekends, making it unsafe to drive in the parking lot. It's generally agreed that humanity has neither the technology nor the societal will to sustain such a gargantuanly expensive venture. Still, this hasn't stopped engineers and scientists from speculating how best to build a Costco on other planets. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that removing the rubber bands from the claws of a Lobster can result in oh god get it off get it OFF OH GOD MY FACE!
- ... that Earth has 1 sextillion grains of sand?
- ... that my girlfriend has herpes? Neither did I.
- ...that this sentence is incomple
- ... that, because of Anonymous' credibility, he has become a frequent source of information for news articles?
- ... that the The Root of All Evil is fishsticks?
- ... that Africa's space program, AIDS, has had several successful launches to altitudes over 11 feet?
In the news
- New Easter Bunny is a fascist (Pictured)
- 4chan hacked, nobody cares
- Vatican commits simony
- YouTube child educator Ms. Rachel detained and deported by ICE
- Scientists revive some dead wolves because they can
- Steve's Lava Chicken shut down due to health code violations
- Wayne Gretzky's all-time regular season goal record broken by Putin's Instagram buddyboo
- Donald Trump receives prestigious award for destroying the stock market
- Kid (and ball) escape narrow car crash
- Robert F. Kennedy Jr. engulfs every panda bear in existence
- Kardashian and Ye do washed up things
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, and Deltarune • Eurovision • Russian Invasion • Israel-Palestine conflict • DOGE budget cuts • Everyone ditching some Disney live-action remake for A Minecraft Movie • Trump and Xi's tariff games • The IRS hunting late tax payers
Recent deaths: Meghan Markle's Netflix show • Kurt from Good Burger • George Foreman • 23andMe • Bruce Glover • Richard Chamberlain • Roger Daltrey's eyes and ears • Val Kilmer • Yoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedom • Your 401K • Jay North • Columbus Blue Jackets' playoff bid
Upcoming deaths: U.S. and Global Economy • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Laura Palmer • DEI • Gawr Gura • Google's ad monopoly
On this day
April 19: Clitoris Awareness Day
- 1559 - Scholars at the University of Padua, Italy, discover the first clitoris in recorded history.
- 1775 - In a New York study on sexual behavior, researchers find the clitoris to be more important to sexual pleasure than the actual vagina, small penises find new hope.
- 1913 - The sale of vibrators are banned in France, due to electrical grid overload issues.
- 1957 - Oral sex becomes a popular alternative to intercourse, condom sales decline.
- 1998 - Windows 98 is released, memory leaks in the OS cause Bill Gates to be declared the world's "Biggest Clitoris". (Pictured)
- 1999 - Bill Clinton has a threesome and sorely disappoints, policy wonks tells Americans not to jump to conclusions.
- 2011 - Aperture Science launches new official holiday, supposedly better than Christmas.
Picture of the day
Trump in peach, after getting in peached. Image credit: User:DoctorJones |
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