EgaP niaM
From today's featured article
*ahem*
Lawrencium is the 103rd element of the Periodic Table of Elements, which, if you did not know what the Periodic Table of Elements is, the Periodic Table of Elements is a table full of elements, with Lawrencium being one of the elements in the Periodic Table of Elements. Little people know this fact, but if something ends with "-ium", it's most likely an element. (See Stupidium, Unobtanium, and Unobtainium). This includes Lawrencium, and thus, Lawrencium is an element. Lawrencium has the atomic symbol of Lr (which was formally Lw), and has the atomic number of 103, due to it being the 103rd element of the Periodic Table of Elements. Choquant.[2] It borders Lutetium, Nobelium, and Ytterbium on the Potentially Available Table of Elements. It is the last element in the Actinide series, because god himself couldn't think of any other elements for the Actinides. You know god also suffers from de-motivation and laziness, right? Cut him some slack. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that the bird is the word? (Pictured)
- ... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing?
- ... that 100% of divorces start with marriage?
- ... that the French Revolution was just a rip-off of the American Revolution?
- ... that You have to be lucky all the time, but we only have to be lucky once?
- ... that Phonics (pronounced Pa-hon-iks.) is one of the deadliest and most addictive drugs on the streets? It is said to get children "hooked" in four weeks or your money back.
- ... that Abraham Lincoln was an accomplished skateboarder?
- ... that the lawman/outlaw Wild Bill Hickok had one of the most celebrated mustaches in the Wild West?
In the news
- Trump presents new science project to Cabinet (Pictured)
- Uncyclopedia introduces AI Age Guesser™, petition nears 100,000 signatures
- Trump fires Zakk Wylde
- Trump sends condolences to "Ozzie Nelson," "Paul Hogan," "Luigi Mangione"
- Epstein list predictions
- Starmer bans pornography nationwide
- Ozzy Osbourne remembers Uncyclopedia
- Obama to Democrats: "toughen up, you fucking pussies!"
- Trump sends condolences to tough-guy actor "Mikey Madison"
- Clint Eastwood announces plans to live forever
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War • Trump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Israel/Hamas and Russia/Ukraine "peace talks" • Rock drummer exodus (not to be confused with Tom Hunting or Zbigniew Fyk) • Chicago Bears winning the preseason • K-pop: the movie doing surprisingly well
Recent deaths: Bill Cosby's TV son • Ozzy Osbourne • Chuck Mangione • Hulk Hogan • Resident Alien • Down syndrome • Tom Lehrer • The system • FUBAR • Cartoon Network/Adult Swim/Toonami on Comcast's basic cable package • Sydney Sweeney's new movie • Terence Stamp
Upcoming deaths: DEI • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices • Diddy's bank account after incoming lawsuits • The asshats who spoiled Squid Game • MAGA • Joe Biden's credibility • The flowers you bring Alan Bergman • Bryan Kohberger, at the hands of his fellow inmates • Chicago Bears' regular season • MSNBC • ROBLOX
On this day
August 24: Punch a Donkey for Jesus Day
- 1132 - A Catharist sect in southern France incorporates Donkey Punching into their mass following a mistranslation of Matthew 21:7.
- 1456 - The printing of the Gutenberg Bible is completed by Steve Gutenberg.
- 1463 - Portuguese language discovered to be mispronounced Spanish.
- 1561 - Prince Willem of Orange marries Duchess Anna of Sherbert.
- 1853 - Potato chips invented. This is hailed as a triumph, as it will finally permit people to get rid of the vast mountains of dip that clog the streets of Europe.
- 1995 - Mike Tyson converts to Christianity, kills several donkeys with uppercuts.
- 2011 - Barack Obama pardons a donkey for Good Friday, only to shove him into a glue extractor on Easter.
Picture of the day
You want surreal? Try wasting four hours a day waxing your 'stache until it closely resembles your entire Catalonian name. That's surreal. Image credit: Imrealized |
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- ↑ Choquant is a very uncommon word only spoken by the people in a specific region which will be revealed if you keep reading this footnote, which won't actually happen because you're a dumbass for reading this text because I won't reveal where the word choquant comes from you stupid, stupid, silly man (or girl, or transgender person), probably because you can just infer where it came from, or, of course, just search it with Google, Firefox, or whatever you use. Pornhub?
- ↑ Choquant is a very uncommon word only spoken by the people in a specific region which will be revealed if you keep reading this footnote, which won't actually happen because you're a dumbass for reading this text because I won't reveal where the word choquant comes from you stupid, stupid, silly man (or girl, or transgender person), probably because you can just infer where it came from, or, of course, just search it with Google, Firefox, or whatever you use. Pornhub?