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From today's featured article [Feature an article]

In mid-2005, Satan had started to publicly question and denounce Tyson's recognition as the "Baddest Man on the Planet." When Tyson learned of this via an interview, Tyson grinned at the camera. Soon after this interview, Tyson challenged Satan to a professional boxing match in order to see "who the baddetht man of the planet really ith." Satan accepted and arranged for the fight to happen in Hell.

For Tyson this fight was for all the marbles: lose, and his soul would be damned to Hell; win, and his soul would be taken into the Kingdom of Heaven.(Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that it's a surprisingly simple process to starting your own religion? (Pictured)

... that sarcasm is a higher form of wit than the Russian Reversal?
... that ten out of ten cigarette manufacturers agree that Cancer is great?
... that in 1933, the Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's?
... that sovereign citizens have all the rights of U.S citizens, without having to follow any of the laws?
... that there is a simple, easy solution to the fact that you cannot understand the foreigners who are sitting next to you?
... that telling someone you masturbated to their Facebook picture is frowned upon in society?
... that Earth has 1 sextillion grains of sand?

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In the news [edit]

"It's for the children's own good!"

Trump fires Zakk Wylde
Trump sends condolences to "Ozzie Nelson," "Paul Hogan," "Luigi Mangione"
Epstein list predictions
Starmer bans pornography nationwide (Pictured)
Ozzy Osbourne remembers Uncyclopedia
Obama to Democrats: "toughen up, you fucking pussies!"
Trump sends condolences to tough-guy actor "Mikey Madison"
Clint Eastwood announces plans to live forever
Trumpman introduces Trumpmobile
Diddy gets off easy, possibly due to bribing jury
Musk establishes "Porky Pig Party" to combat Trump's "Big Beautiful Bill"
United Nations Secretary General gives up on world peace, World War Three begins
Lawyer is unable to remember what the trial is about, defendant is convicted of burglary

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War • Trump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Superman and Super Dog's movie doing surprisingly well • Israel/Iran and Russia/Ukraine "peace talks" • Pittsburgh Steelers adding old players way past their prime • Rock drummer exodus (not to be confused with Tom Hunting or Zbigniew Fyk)

Recent deaths: Diddy's freedom for only 20 years • Michael Madsen • Diogo Jota • Texas flood victims • LA ICE raids • Connie Francis • Alan Bergman • Bill Cosby's TV son • Bryan Kohberger's freedom • Ozzy Osbourne • Chuck Mangione • Hulk Hogan • Resident Alien • Down syndrome • Tom Lehrer • The system

Upcoming deaths: DEI • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices • Diddy's bank account after incoming lawsuits • The asshats who spoiled Squid Game • MAGA • Joe Biden's credibility • The flowers you bring Alan Bergman • Bryan Kohberger, at the hands of his fellow inmates

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On this day [edit]

August 2: Intentionally Give A Stranger Misleading Directions Day

456 - Maurading Mongol hoardes are repeatedly given misleading directions, resulting in wide swaths of carnage being cut through unsuspecting and largely unpopulated regions of central Europe.
1877 - When asked for directions by a stranger, Oscar Wilde, then at the height of his wit, searingly suggested that the stranger seek directions from his own mother.
1922 - Allen Zeitgeist asks for directions to New York from Boston. Told to "turn left where the large tree used to be" the series of events that followed causes the stock mareket crash and the great depression.
1939 - Tomasz Wankovszki, a Ukrainian farmer, accidentally starts World War II by sending the German army into Poland, telling them that it is actually a shortcut to Czechoslovakia.
1939 - Hitler refuses to order troops to stop at gas station and ask for directions; Warsaw and Krakow invaded by accident.
1993 - The shocking discrepancy between men and woman drivers who ask for directions is highlighted in a study by Cambridge professor Dr. Gerry von Coppenfeels.

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Picture of the day

Looking for protection for your stallion? Safe sex whilst getting your oats? Look no further than Trojan Horse condoms. For the serious rider. Available in "Large", "Extra Large" and "Ouch!".

Image credit: sannse
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