User talk:Romartus/Archive7

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Past Imperial Glory and Shame[edit source]

Please post comments etc below. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:37, September 13, 2010 (UTC)

Talk continues under the giant's legs.

Bob[edit source]

Err, you should be more helpful and help Gomphog with Bob. If not... well. --ChiefjusticeGameCube 15:39, September 13, 2010 (UTC)

I have got no idea what Gompy is on about with this Bob article except it links to other sites off this wiki and seems terminally random. Isn't an attempt to create what you call a Meme? So unless you are gently twisting my arm here Chief, I am going to pass on that one! Thanks for the thought but I am still Elvis with Gompy. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 15:59, September 13, 2010 (UTC)

Gomphog-flavoured Pie[edit source]

Hello! here, have some imaginary pie *hands it over* Gomphog 15:38, September 13, 2010 (UTC)

Gompy you got banned yet again. Good going! Really, don't you read any of the warnings here?? As I said before, I really don't think the place is quite your bottle of Tizer. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 18:14, September 13, 2010 (UTC)

MINDFUCK[edit source]

Icons-flag-pi.PNG Pirate Lord__Sonic80 (Yell  •  Latest literary excretion) __ 20:54, September 14, 2010 (UTC)

Care for a spot of tea?[edit source]

Guildensternenstein.jpg
Guildy.jpg
FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you ever so much for your vote.

And no, my dear, I will never change this template.

Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 23:44, September 14, 2010 (UTC)


Mars Bar[edit source]

Have made a couple of amendments to the above article, and believe there is room for improvement here and that indeed the said article should have another chance at survival rather than deleting it out of hand. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)

Are you adopting it? Problem is the moment you start to tinker with an article, the more glaring the need for a total rewrite. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 15:35, September 17, 2010 (UTC)

Lord Dalhousie[edit source]

I think we're there?--Sycamore (Talk) 22:09, September 17, 2010 (UTC)

It seems to be all present and correct. Perhaps a pee review if you are looking to put it up for featuring?--Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 21:20, September 18, 2010 (UTC)

THIS is an amazing collaboration with Sog Esq.[edit source]

  • Hi Romy, I bet you find this funny. Somehow I got Sog excited enough to work a miracle. I hope somebody Noms this (although VFH seems quiet these days). And I hope you enjoy this piece of history a Nillion times. It beats the Wikipedia verson in truth? Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 12:33, Sep 19

Why?:You voted for my article[edit source]

Spotlight2.jpg Hear ye, hear ye! Thatdamnedfollowspot has

deemed you worthy enough of the

Silver Spotlight!!!


First off, congratulations! You're probably wondering why you have won such a prestigious award. Well, wait no longer! You have most likely done something that has pleased Thatdamnedfollowspot, such as voting for an article of his on VFH or nominated him for something, and as a result, he has decided that you deserve a big, nice template award for your efforts.

If you feel this template has been awarded in error, please contact Customer Service. Otherwise, enjoy your award!

Thanks for your support!

This is for voting on that couch that's become the source of many arguments between Lyrithya and I. Enjoy! Leutnant Herr Thatdamnedfollowspot 03:02 Monday, September 20, 2010

Another crappy dust-gatherer to shove into the cupboard and forget about[edit source]

LoCalCrisps.jpg

Lose Weight™ the Bulimic Barbee™ way!
In recognition of your fine decision to vote for Bulimic Barbee™ to become a Featured Article™ on Uncyclopedia™, the Crappel Corporation™ (USA™) are pleased to award you a FREE six month membership of their Lose Weight™ the Bulimic Barbee™ Way weight loss program.
To demonstrate the benefits of our Diet™, please enjoy these delicious Lo-Cal™ Bulimic Barbee™ Potato Crisps™!

(Please Note: By accepting this FREE Introductory Gift™, you have agreed to sign up for a further two years on the Lose Weight™ the Bulimic Barbee™ Way program (priced at just $3000 per month) once your six month free period has expired.)



MUCH Thanks![edit source]

William-Westmoreland9.jpg

--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 09:16, Sep 26

Yes, you do have new messages...[edit source]

...I hate the queen; she is a chav, just sitting on her backside all day, living of tax payers money while giving NOTHING back. Actullary, why do we need a queen? What does she do? Mr. Wango 18:06, September 26, 2010 (UTC)

Gompy ( I know it's you) - just use your regular call sign when you are on Uncyclopedia? No socks please! --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 18:54, September 26, 2010 (UTC)

More spam, but arousing spam[edit source]

Kate bush leotard.jpeg Thank you

from Black flamingo & Sog for joining the Kate Bush fan club.

Now as promised, here is your own personal copy of that image,
to treasure forever.

Numberwang![edit source]

I now have a account on illogicopedia, I wonder how many children presenters hate children? - Gompho-err...I mean Vulcan He'stan 16:08, September 28, 2010 (UTC)

Gompy, if you didn't waste time with various socks, you'll find it easier to talk to people here. Try not get banned at illogicopedia will you, calm down and think about contributing rather than messing around in here? Yes?? --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 16:14, September 28, 2010 (UTC)

The Pretty Things[edit source]

Hi Romy! Hope you're well. Remember this band of loons? They were big in UK long ago. Would you like to do a collaboration from scratch on them? HERE they are in Wikipedia. They were very psychedelic cats in real life. And they (Viv Prince), not Keith Moon, invented Looning®. Could be really funny. What else is up? Hey, thanks for that surprise vote on Foolitzer. I wonder what that means now? Stay cool. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 12:15, Oct 2

Hi Funnybony. Pretty Things, yes I do know who they were but fell off the radar somewhat. Some guys who were in the early Rolling Stones were involved. Perhaps they invented a lot of things besides looning but others stole their best ideas. Oh You Pretty Things...was David Bowie singing about them!? --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 01:02, October 3, 2010 (UTC)
Well, bro! (and thanks a mil for the votes), The Pretties at least had the distinction of being more ugly than the Rolling Stones, yet had balls to have a song called LSD. Ha! Okay. Lets can that idea. What do you think about improving this Lunar Launch Saga? I'm a script writer but I don't know how to justify left on the dialog (its all centered. But a close match to a real script. With an almost impossible to imagine mission by an impossible cast mix. Would you like to add the next scene? BTW: Check out this brand new thingy - a flip side. Best wishes & cheers.--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 10:59, Oct 3
SF Sorrow is one of my favourite albums.... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)

Jet speed thanks from tomorrow-land[edit source]

Anti-jet-lag-winner.jpg

--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 19:15, Oct 4

Joke[edit source]

Q: What does a female chav use for protection during sex?

A: A bus shelter! LOL! --Gomphog 11:15, October 6, 2010 (UTC)
Yeah thanks for that Gompy...and I see you are still playing with sockpuppets. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 19:02, October 6, 2010 (UTC)
Huh, what sockpuppets? Gomphog 22:05, October 6, 2010 (UTC)
You appear to have a draw full of them Gompy. Just wear sandals in future. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 06:54, October 8, 2010 (UTC)

Jack Dempsey thanks you[edit source]

Uncyclopedia vs. Wikipedia --- and much thanks for making Jack a hit on VFH – from humble servants of the farce, Aleister and Funnybony

--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 21:53, Oct 6

UnNews:Cameron tells Britain, "I am the walrus"[edit source]

Is anything lost by the short title I gave your UnNews in the 1-spot on the Front Page? If not, I'll rename the story. Spıke ¬ 19:12 7-Oct-10

I didn't really develop the walrus theme on this one. Took me longer to find the image and change it than to write the article. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 06:52, October 8, 2010 (UTC)

There is no need to develop the walrus theme--but I renamed it to have the snappier headline anyway. Spıke ¬ 11:00 8-Oct-10

History of Great Britain[edit source]

The epic tale has somehow found its way to VFH. Those who read every word will get a template for doing so, like those people who eat some kind of large sandwich in under five minutes. You have done well, and I guess it is true that you have pulled he sword from the stone. If it is featured how will your divide up credit? I would think that you can give 1/2 to more than one person if it has extensive contributions from more than two. Nice work. Aleister 11:45 8 10

It was unfinished the last time I looked. Shouldn't be on VFH. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 11:50, October 8, 2010 (UTC)
Oh. Can it be removed? Or can you finish by putting in an hour or two? Please have it taken down if you know how though. I'll write an admin as well. Apoligies. Aleister 11:53 8 10
I have said so on the page so it should go. Zarbag also co-wrote a lot of it as as well but as far I am concerned it currently ends at 1783. Ever since this was given to me as a rewrite months ago I have been adding and changing to this article and so has Zarbag. I don't think I can finish it in the next two hours but thanks anyway Aleister for noticing it. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 11:57, October 8, 2010 (UTC)
Well, I don't think the weight of the internet can take any more of this particular page. Why not end it in 1783, and then continue with a History of Great Britain part two, by adding a note on the bottom of the present page? The isle has so many years of history before the 19th century rears its grotesque head that. . .well, I could see the reasoning of having it all on one page, because that would be even more epic. Anyway, please let me know when it is finished, or the 1800's arrive. Epic. Aleister 12:06 8 10
OK , I had discussed this with Zarbag earlier on the talk page. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 12:56, October 8, 2010 (UTC)
This article is AWESOME! But I do find the bit about celts offensive. How could you compare Boudicca to Lady Thatcher? Hum, Lady Thatcher? Sounds like a divice for removing pubic hair. Get your Lady Thatcher. Gomphog 13:35, October 8, 2010 (UTC)
Are you a Celt then? Well Boudicca was also against the European Union, then called the Roman Empire, so it was an easy analogy to make. A thatcher was someone who came over to repair your roof with dried hay,grass,mud,shit..in fact, anything they could find. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:04, October 8, 2010 (UTC)
What's wrong with thatched roofs, I always thought they looked rather charming. Okay, Celtic culture is by far more intresting then roman culture (I like roman culture and I'm not bashing it). Now if the celts, servived westen culture would be much better. Think about it, western europe dosent have a indegionus culture. But... roman architecture was far better, roman baths, etc... oh and roman warriors were facist, with all the silly marches. Gomphog 17:50, October 8, 2010 (UTC)

Re: Premature Nom[edit source]

No no no! Can't be allowed since it's clearly unfinished. I suppose it's understandable, tho' since the bloody thing probably takes the best part of an afternoon and some fortifying tea to read in its entirety. We have created a leviathan! --Zarbag 20:49, October 8, 2010 (UTC)

It's been removed. I would prefer to have a full length version finished. It is a leviathan I know but I think we are in distance of getting it done soon. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 22:26, October 8, 2010 (UTC)

Hi[edit source]

Have a cookie. --Gomphog 19:14, October 9, 2010 (UTC)

Newcookie.gif Gomphog has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.
P.S - On my Bob article, I have added a "appearances in history" title. Could you help me refine the title? Gomphog 21:39, October 9, 2010 (UTC)
I don't understand your article so I can't make any additions/edits. Just seems a bit random to me. Sorry. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 07:52, October 11, 2010 (UTC)

You have aided in the fight against the manholes...[edit source]

Hug.svg
Lyrithya has deemed you worthy of a hug as thanks for voting for Crossbow on VFH. Thus, you may now consider yourself hugged.

At this point, you may also want to consider checking your pockets so as to ascertain that everything is still there.

You have been rewarded with a hug. ~ Pointy.png *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101010 - 23:32 (UTC)

UnBooks:Jeff Beck Illustrated[edit source]

Om Rom! Hope your hangin in. I doubled the content on this. And I took it as far as I can. Can you breath life into it so we'll finally get Jeff on the Front Page!? You know the subject as well as me. I think it just reeds some some careful 'Roming'. If you can make it work then it's a collab. Hope so! Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 21:40, Oct 11

Made some minor changes. Will have another look when I get time. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:54, October 12, 2010 (UTC)
Please! For the greater glory of Britannia. After all Jeff is a bloke, not a dude. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 20:12, Oct 12

UN:VFD#Linux Incorporated[edit source]

I paged you on VFD. Spıke ¬ 22:43 11-Oct-10

I was away for a few days and only briefly logged in yesterday. Linux story? A bit too geeky for me Spike, would need some good O.S. jokes...--Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 11:42, October 12, 2010 (UTC)

I am certainly good for some software double entendres during the post-edit, if you would try changing Section 1 from its juvenile theme of mid-life crisis to something that relates to the history of the period. Spıke ¬ 12:12 12-Oct-10

The timbers are rotten on this one Spike. Just had a go but this needs a keel rebuild at least. Since it's called Linux Incorporated, I was expecting a Mafia/Mob line of humour in there. Ok...let me have another go..--Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 12:25, October 12, 2010 (UTC)

Already panoramic! Now, you must explain how he got into the sideline of software.... Spıke ¬ 13:44 12-Oct-10

I am struggling with this a bit Spike. I guess the link is Pirate Software here so that needs to be worked on and I tried the Linux/Murder incorporated angle too. Hope this is going to be worth it. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:55, October 12, 2010 (UTC)

Hello[edit source]

I had a argument of epic proportions with a dry, old fart of a historian on wikipedia. Gomphog 17:09, October 13, 2010 (UTC)

About Bob? --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 17:57, October 13, 2010 (UTC)
No. Anyway, I have re-written Bob. Gomphog 20:24, October 13, 2010 (UTC)

WTF??[edit source]

W[edit source]

What

T[edit source]

The

F???[edit source]

Fuck???

You haven't won Writer of the Month yet????

WTF[edit source]

WTF? Aleister 23:14 13 10

Meh, shouldn't be too hard to do something about that. Yup, next month is all planning itself out... ~ Pointy.png *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101013 - 23:36 (UTC)

Yachts[edit source]

(and I meant the above to be, WTF, and let's rectify the situation, in case there was any confusion) Have never written you about a no vote, but I feel I must with My Daddy Has Two Yachts. To me every line works was either first-crafted or later polished to tie-in with the overall storyline. In building a psyhological picture of the mind of a psychopath (and it takes one to know one, just ask my cellmate) things that seem irrelevent are stepping stones. Maybe some lines don't work, the narrator sitting on the patio could be cut down and I'll go back and trim there, but if you could point out a few lines which you perceive as totally useless that would help. Thanks. Aleister 8:45 15 10

Thanks for dropping by Aleister. Since you are asking for a detailed reply, I will do that later today. I have re-read your article again with all the above points mentioned. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 12:58, October 15, 2010 (UTC)
Thanks, that would be very nice. This is one of my own favorite pages, and hopefully contains enough humor (dark, but there) to fit in here. Lots of subtexts within it (although they could all be in my own mind, shock treatments have helped a little but the gremlins still wander at night, there's one now. . .), interwoven commentary on the psychopathness of some of the rich (corporate types especially, removed from responsibility by blaming the system), inner voices directing arrogance, the danger of not taking those things seriously enough, and how particular people are almost trained by osmosis to look down upon their fellow human beings. Plus cookies! Aleister 14:47 16 10
I have been thinking about this before writing back. Since I don't want to discourage you from writing, perhaps my comments were too extreme. I think I know what you are trying to do but I don't think the narrator is the credible voice of a young girl, though she sounds more Baby Doll than anything else. Also the story's structure appears to me to be uncertain. A memoir? or is it a diary without specific dates?? Is the girl young or Marilyn Monroe playing Lolita?? The story then goes into a few directions (Daddy/Poopy) before coming with an attempted seduction scene and then the sailor going overboard....I think the article wasn't sure what it wanted to be. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 19:48, October 16, 2010 (UTC)
Hello. Couple things. The pic is obviously of a young girl as she awaits her sandwich. She narrates. There is no seduction, she makes up a seduction both because she's bored and wants to play with Daddy and because First Mate wouldn't give her two cookies, and she told him he'd be sorry. By making it up she gets him killed. Poopy, I don't know what that is (there is mention of the poop deck as well as a name she calls First Mate, pooper, which is a little kid's expression. So nobody gets seduced, she kills the fellow on purpose. Then both her and Daddy mock the wife waiting for him to swim ashore but actually knowing that he drowned and not facing up to it. And it would be a narration close to the event, as she is commenting on the wife waiting for her husband. At least I can see the timeline and flowchart of the page, and how everything relates, and I have to credit you for inspiring the trimming in the patio scene, the only section on the page I was uncomfortable with. Hmmmmm, Monroe playing Lolita. Would have to be a young Monroe, too bad that didn't happen! Thanks again, Aleister 20:41 16 10
Thanks for your reply Aleister. I still can't vote for your article. As I said, I just don't buy the narrative. As you know, I am not a great fan of first person narrative as I think it needs a lot more work to pull off successfully in my view. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 12:13, October 17, 2010 (UTC)
Thanks. And no, I wasn't working you for a yes vote but was truly interested in what you saw wrong with it. I made it an unbook since it was a narrative, and maybe I should make it clearer early on that she is a young girl. About 10 or 11 maybe? 10, that sound right. Thanks again, Aleister 13:10 17 10

Thanks[edit source]

AKiedis.jpg This is Anthony Kiedis of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, delivering a message from LongLiverh3.

He says, in between fantasizing about his teacher and gobbling nutmeg in a pathetic attempt to get high, that he thanks you for your vote.

The asshole is too lazy to tell you himself, so he sent me.

~~Sir Fightstar Rocks! CUN 02:26, October 17, 2010 (UTC)

Lunar Launch Ending[edit source]

Hi Romy. Good point. OK, I put an ending that best expresses my view of the situation, in view of wanting to establish the impossibility of the whole thing, going from 110 KMSecond to full stop on the Moon, and vise versa. At least the lunar lander was well-designed for ease of vacuum handling at speeds exceeding 150 kilometers per second...it looks better than a Ferrari. The end is now there, in case you want to take another look. Hey, luckily I got Sog going on the United States of Earth... wish we could serve justice to Jeff Beck, I took off the BG color and added more stuff you will know about. Lets do it, bro! Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 10:27, Oct 17

Ok FB. I will take another look. I find it hard to keep up with your production+finishing work! Where would this wiki be without your prodigious supply of articles! Keep up the good work and I also like your attitude to others making points about their work. A lesson to everyone here including me. After all, if there is no fun being here why should anyone bother? --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 12:07, October 17, 2010 (UTC)

Grunwald[edit source]

On Ptok's Battle of Grunwald page, maybe you and/or he could take a look here to see if a pic or two would also fit well with this page. Jeez, I love that page, and the new section on the bottom is one I added not too long ago. Nice work on Battle. Aleister 22:21 18 10

Took more work than I expected. Looks a lot better now and I have corrected some of the English in there and added bits and pieces.--Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 09:57, October 19, 2010 (UTC)
I see Gompy has got banned yet again. That must be the record this year. Perhaps his misdeeds need a calendar entry. I think he is happier over at Illogicopedia anyway. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 10:00, October 19, 2010 (UTC)
He kept coming back for more though, and then has to anger someone and gets banned. I think he's 14 or 15, and his hormones post more than his brain. Nice new work on Grunwald, looking and reading really good. Feature. On Wrists, Lyht has pretty much finished up and voted for it, so I think she's fine with the nom after flailing for awhile. It actually won that contest, as did Grunwald, so I guess lots of people put their pages up there without being totally satisfied with them (my entrant, Bed, needs more to go to). But yeah, wrists should probably stay on the VFH page now, and she always has time to tweek it before it either is featured or lingers. Oh, and niceeeee pics on Grunwald. Teamwork. If you'd collab with me at some point I'd be honored and frozen in place from fear of moving. Sort of the opposite of Gomphog, who hopefully will not create a sock to talk to us right here. Waiting. Waiting. Gomp? Aleister 10:48 19 10
Thanks for the message Aleister. As I knew the subject matter of Grunwald, I was more annoyed that it looked a bit scrappy for the front page. Anyway I hope the author appreciates my input. Regards working with others, I don't mind as long as I think it inspires me enough to add a useful contribution. And the other way round, especially with the Keith Richards book with Funnybony. I think our version is a lot funnier than his - though we missed the bit about Mick's under endowment! (at least according to Keef). As for Gompy, I pretty sure he is going through his laundry looking for new socks to wear in here. He is the sort of kid that could well end up as the next Mark Zuckerberg (Facebook man). --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 11:08, October 19, 2010 (UTC)
Lies about Mick Jagger, lies. I actually know a guy who has as a claim to fame that he once peed in a urinal next to Jagger peeing. At least he'll have one good memory in his life. I haven't compared Keith Richards'es, will do so. And for sure you and Ptok should share a feature when that happens, nice work on both your parts and the page would surely not be what it is without the coillab. And since November will probably shake out to be an honor Romartus month, that feature and a couple of others should do nicely. Which are your most featurable, in your opinion? Please make a list of three or four, and when Gomphog comes back he can nom them all! (Mordillo told him if he tries one more sock he's permibanned. Test of patience and time for him) Aleister 11:18 19 10
No the article is Ptok's. I can't say my additions and picture adding make it a true collab. It's more of a 'with' in my view. I did the same with Mhaille's Badly Drawn Porn. A true collab should be where two writers knock about an idea first before one of them starts off and adds a few riffs, dubs or tweaks. FB took my original UnNews Keef story and ran with it which is why I thought that was a true working together. Anyway, I don't mind adding or collabs if they benefit the article. As for Gompy, well who will advocate his return here? I would do but I know the kid is bound to screw up again. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 11:32, October 19, 2010 (UTC)

Hi[edit source]

Ha, now that you have provided a convient link on my talk page, I'm going to talk to you now. --Uncyclomancer 15:19, October 19, 2010 (UTC)

P.S - Is the somthing more 'wholesome' then the beginner's guide?
You can talk but no messing around with socks. What do you mean regards the beginner's guide? --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 15:34, October 19, 2010 (UTC)
What do you mean by sock? What's a Sock. --Uncyclomancer 15:40, October 19, 2010 (UTC)
Okay, I'm new and I'm looking for some sort of... 'writing guide'. You know, that contains things like the 'username template' and other template and things. --Uncyclomancer 16:15, October 19, 2010 (UTC)
Well the writing guide is don't do vanity (i.e. - write about yourself or your mates), attack an old girlfriend or load up porn. Socks are sock puppets - i.e. using more than one account here and then trying to use it to vote in favour of your articles. Regards subject matter, you can just about write about anything but my suggestion is that you first try writing on your own user page. If you start something in the mainspace and leave it there unfinished, it will be deleted. Best thing it to create a new page that links via your user page. For example I have this unfinished story in my user space: http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Romartus/Canaletto. So if you wanted to write a new article but are unsure about it, go to your user page (not talk page) and type in User:Uncyclomancer/Fragging - you will then have created a page. This is classified as being in your user page and not on the main area and can be left there for ever. It all depends on what you want to write about. There are also other places you can go. For example:-

Since it seems I have 'adopted you', if you have any questions, talk to me here. If you get into trouble (like getting banned. It happens to everyone here for some reason or either.) then I will put your case to get it reversed. As long as you don't go on 'blanking' spree (replacing peoples pages with lines like DICK or whatever) or start typing abuse, you should be safe. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 17:28, October 19, 2010 (UTC)

Thank you, this has helped me alot. Did you know that I am a practioner of the ancient celtic martial art of armpit farting? --Uncyclomancer 17:32, October 19, 2010 (UTC)
No problem. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 21:49, October 19, 2010 (UTC)

hey[edit source]

Thanks a lot for your interest in Battle of Grunwald article. You've done a masterpiece :) Cheers! Polisz.jpgSir Ptok-BentonicznyPisz tutaj KUN 21:21, October 19, 2010 (UTC)

I washed its face, cut its hair and bought some better fitting clothes but this is your story Ptok. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 21:47, October 19, 2010 (UTC)

Fish?[edit source]

What exactly did you mean on the Wrists votey thing? ~ Pointy.png *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101020 - 19:07 (UTC)

Attempts at any psychological analysis of the obsession. 'Cod' anything means substandard and Mackerel therefore just another fishy joke to go along with it. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 22:19, October 20, 2010 (UTC)
Oh... that would require knowledge of psychology. I'll have you know I failed intro psychology in college. Twice. I also tried participating in one of their experiments... it involved doing something while they monitored my brainwaves, but I don't remember what it was because I fell asleep. ~ Pointy.png *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101020 - 23:34 (UTC)

VFD formatting[edit source]

Romartus, Myocardialinfarction complains in the Change Summary on VFD that I "screwed up the formatting" affecting his vote, which he resolved by putting his above mine.

What really happened, and it has happened twice before this week, is that you planted a hard return in the middle of my vote.

Put simply, when you are at the right end of a very long line of text, pressing Enter to get to the start of the next line might not seem to change the edit window. But it does change what you are editing. And, if you are in a list, which VFD boxes are, inserting a hard return ends the numbered list, meaning that the next voter is number 1 all over again.

So, when editing on VFD, move the cursor only using the arrow keys, Home, or End. Remember, pressing Enter changes the document.

You will not be banned for any days! Spıke ¬ 00:20 21-Oct-10

Ok thanks Spike. I'll drop a line on Myocardialinfarction's page to apologise. Thanks for the alert. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 09:32, October 21, 2010 (UTC)

Hi again[edit source]

You know, I DON'T think that the benefit cuts are a bad thing. Prehaps it would make the vile chavs get of thier fat asses and do some work and only and only then will they hopefully evolve into decent people. --Uncyclomancer 10:25, October 21, 2010 (UTC)

Ok..do you intend to write an article on this subject? --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 10:27, October 21, 2010 (UTC)
Hah, I could do, but I would not like to stain my articles with anything chav-related. I really HATE them.
Chavs pop up frequently on Uncyclopedia. Better than avoiding them, you should avoid staining your articles with HATE or with the didactic--though I agree entirely that (1) misconduct (including sloth) varies based on what the person sees he can get away with, and (2) giving a person the material trappings of a successful life does not change his behavior so that he either is successful or even can maintain the goodies you gave him. My best treatment of the welfare state, in an article Romartus helped with, is here. Spıke ¬ 10:48 21-Oct-10
Hate or abuse in articles rarely work, certainly not here. I am not saying it's impossible, just that it's hard to get the pitch right without going off on a rant and therefore alienating readers. Also Uncyclomancer, don't forget to sign your comments. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 12:13, October 21, 2010 (UTC)
On my user page, I cited someone else's My ex-wife as a rant that works. Anyway, Uncyclomancer, you have some good guidance from both of us. If you have something to say, get to work! and make sure it's funny! Spıke ¬ 13:16 21-Oct-10

Milne[edit source]

Problem sorted. I think. --Sog1970 13:11, October 21, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks Soggy. I did take the liberty of adding a couple of lines to bridge what I saw was something of a 'jump cut'. Trust you didn't mind. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 07:34, October 22, 2010 (UTC)

Alfred E. Neuman voted for you too[edit source]

Alfred of Arabia on an Afghani ‘black’ run via ‘tax free’ Mecca?

Much thanks, as always appreciated.--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 12:56, Oct 22

Question[edit source]

Ho Romy! In June I put THIS on VFH. But it was bare bones and too gross. Not many many people voted for it (5) and you were the only against vote. Taking your advice to heart I have added lots more uncontent and really cleaned it up. The question is: would you vote for it the way it is now? If so, then I'll Nom it tonight (full moon). But if you don't like it please let me know your points so I can do the needful - if any. Dude! Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 10:22, Oct 23

I've had a look and you can see I made a couple of changes. I think I am more neutral now rather than voting against if it goes up as a feature. It's interesting and a well set out article but it still misses something for me to make it a feature contender. Perhaps it doesn't connect with the present enough for me, I will give it another read through but my guess that is why I didn't do so well the first time round. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 17:27, October 23, 2010 (UTC).
Well, we got Al to really help with it. Strange but true subject. Anyway, it's up and I hope you can see a huge difference from last time. But, it has to make you laugh to earn a nod. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 19:02, Oct 23
I voted in favour. I am just another contributor FB, if I can help or advise that is enough. You are really sprinting along with the articles now and that has to be welcomed by everyone who cares about this site's content. If this wiki didn't have contributors like yourself, I would have long ago gone to ED..!! --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 19:51, October 23, 2010 (UTC)
Pard, thanks for the vote, but even much more for the help with useful improvements. In fact, the article is much better than before based solely on your old comments - double whammy! Oh, I didn't mention that Punji Stick is also bass player of Tibetan grunge band, the Rolling Prayer Wheels. But that's just between us. Cheers! Stay well!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 19:54, Oct 23

MUCH THANKS[edit source]

Lord Christopher Monckton finally discovers Greenland. Although he totally denies ever being featured in Uncyclopedia, but he appreciates the sentiment and does thank you for voting.

--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 19:02, Oct 23

Tigger[edit source]

Your article is the first beneficiary of my new destructive power, as I.P.Anon tried to link to a YouTube video supposedly documenting Tigger's libido. Spıke ¬ 19:18 26-Oct-10

Power with responsibility!--Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 21:54, October 26, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks[edit source]

Thanks for your vote on Dreaming! When it becamse a feature I dreamed of you, and now I can't get you out of my mind. Meet me behind the writer's barn in two hours. I'll be wearing a Big Bird costume, so you can recognize me. Thanks again! Aleister' 16:40 27 10

Ok. As that next to the bike shed? --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 17:04, October 27, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks...[edit source]

For the votes on those two articles. More importantly, thanks for waiting until I decided I was done enough with that one; I wish more people would have that sort of consideration. Not enough to do so myself, though. But I plead being an arse. That excuses everything. ~ Lyrithya sig daji.png Lyrithya *shifty eyes* (words) (actions) -- 20101027 - 16:42 (UTC)

Well as you said you weren't ready with it, I heeded the author's instructions. Seemed a reasonable request! Congratulations on your article features too. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 17:05, October 27, 2010 (UTC)
Since when are most people here reasonable, though? And thanks again. ~ Lyrithya sig daji.png Lyrithya *shifty eyes* (words) (actions) -- 20101027 - 17:13 (UTC)

Death-Threat Notification #1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000[edit source]

Can you help me write Warhammer Fantasy or should I feed you headfirst into a industrial-sized meat grinder? --Uncyclomancer 18:29, October 29, 2010 (UTC)

Don't know anything about the game so can't be of any help. Those sort of stories are hard to make fun of unless you have a novel approach to the subject. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 18:38, October 29, 2010 (UTC)
That is a "novel approach" to it. Warhammer is completely unoriginal and is just a lame rip of...of, well...of every major work of fantasy literature and pulp fiction written in the past 100 years. --Uncyclomancer 22:32, October 29, 2010 (UTC)
Well that's one way to approach it. I'll check up on it once you get started. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 22:09, October 30, 2010 (UTC)

hey[edit source]

As you may know now, it's a complicated story, Jadwiga was crowned a king of Poland as there was no "queen regnant" status. She was king till her death regardless the fact she married Jogaila who beacame king-consort... He had actual power and ruled the country but he became King of Poland only after her death. So Jogaila was husband of King for some time. And that's why it's a funny story. ;) Polisz.jpgSir Ptok-BentonicznyPisz tutaj KUN 12:37, October 30, 2010 (UTC)

I checked on your earlier reference which is why I made the wiki link to make it clear to everyone else to get the joke. In fact there is a reference to this in Elizabeth I's speech to her troops when she says that 'though I have the body of a weak and feeble woman, I have the heart of a king' or something like that without digging that reference. So in fact when a woman became the ruler, she did become in that sense 'a King'. I guess this was also to fit in with the Christian idea of Christ the King etc, the masculine domination of the concept of monarchy.--Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 22:06, October 30, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks[edit source]

For your votes on my pages, they flew because of you. And because you voted for Obnoxious Plastic I took another look at it to see its qualities. Good choice. I esp. like the pics there. And most of all, Happy Halloween!!!!! Aleister 22:14 30 10

I thought it was quirky and different. If it was a VFD save doesn't mean it cannot go up and the other end and score a goal for VFH. Congrats too on your articles getting featured. I am still puzzled why the anon IP put up my Whigs article for featuring. I only wrote it because the other Whigs article was about the US political party and I thought it needed a companion piece. Strange things happen here indeed! --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 22:19, October 30, 2010 (UTC)
Maybe he was a Brit and was just looking around the site for interest areas. Whigs is def. feature worthy, as are many of your other pages. You're not a self-nommer though, so people have to both notice your pages and nom them, a two-step process not everyone takes. In your case I think that will be remedied. Yes, plastic seems like a fun one, and I'm glad you opened my reading eyes a bit more. You are known for being a tuff vote to get, and that's a rep worth having. I tend to like lots of pages on VFH, and try to read them from the point of view of the writer and the reader, and the pages I don't vote for I usually don't vote, like an abstain I guess. It's a bit harder for me to criticize and knock someones work down than to lift it up, which is my reasoning for not voting no more often on VFD, I can see the work someone has put into a page (and most of the VFD pages are obviously going to fail anyway). A long note on a halloweeney night. Enjoy. Aleister 22:28 30 10

Sincere thanks[edit source]

WOTM is the heaviest award ever - just see.

--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 14:11, Nov 1

History of Great Britain[edit source]

How goes the history??? It seems to have been added to and brought up to present time. Perchance is it ready for the epic nomination as yet, or do you wish more work to find its way into it? Did you have a nominator, and if not I would be happy to do the honors. If this occurs, besides yourself who would be listed as co-authors? An epic. Aleister 16:46 2 11

Well We have got it up to 1815 more or less. Zarbag has been working on it as well and I have been adding to it as inspiration arrives. I do at least intend to work from 1815-1914. Why so impatient young Aleister? Have a look at this article in the meantime - I was adding to links to the Mhaille/Luvvy nom. This has potential too. History of Woman. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 16:52, November 2, 2010 (UTC)
OK. Not impatient, I thought it was finished just because it runs to present time. Didn't know that 100 years were still on the drawing board. I'll look at the History of Woman, always an interesting topic. Maybe I wish we could do a MacMania and just nom seven of your pages in a row and have all of them featured. You deserve that at least, but getting your gems featured piecemeal is fine too. Aleister 16:56 2 11
Considering the History of Great Britain was picked off the VFD scrapheap earlier this year, it's just taking a lot longer than I expected. As I know the subject reasonably well without mining wikipedia for everything, I wanted to make it an entertaining read. A sort of updated '1066 and All That' , a classic book if you don't know about the UK written in the 1930s. It stops after WW1 with the line (paraphrasing from memory) that now the USA was so powerful, all history could stop. Perhaps this was the inspiration for The End of History and the Last Man by Francis Fukuyama. I saw him in London at a lecture back in the early 1990s. He told everyone that economic liberalism had triumphed so that was it. He has since 'recanted' . --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 17:11, November 2, 2010 (UTC)
I had no idea History was on VFD, I thought you guys put together a fully realized work. That's even more impressive, and I'm going to have to go see what it looked like when you found it. Please don't hurry it because of yappers like me, it's a classic now, and if it can become even better the months or years don't matter. I'm not much on economics, not an area of expertise, yet I can understand how the ebb and flow of current events looks so large when they roll in but then fade or change as the decades go by. Hence, history. When you finish your page in 2014 or thereabouts could you please start on the "History of Belgium" we've all been looking forward to? Thanks. Aleister 12:55 3 11
The end section about Big Brother, Gordon Brown etc is what is left as to delete it would have left the article hanging halfway. As for other Histories of...well I was thinking about France,Italy...so I envisage my work here will finish in around 2020. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 13:11, November 3, 2010 (UTC)

End of Space![edit source]

Is this the end? --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 08:28, November 3, 2010 (UTC)

Have I expressed my adoration for you recently?[edit source]

In all seriousness, though, you impress me again and again... rather astounding. Anyhoo, love ya. Cheers. ~ Pointy.png *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101103 - 12:44 (UTC)

Hey Lyritha, I appreciate you dropping by. I am just being me either here or on IRC. You're doing great work in here but don't forget to give yourself a break sometimes too! --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 13:56, November 3, 2010 (UTC)
You is good, then. And this is my break! *flails* ~ Pointy.png *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101103 - 18:08 (UTC)

Only a few people get these...[edit source]

Pentagramaward3.png
Celtic Ninja Star
This person has done good deeds in the eyes of Sycamore

For exceptional contributions around and about, especially Lord Dalhouse:-)--Sycamore (Talk) 08:17, November 4, 2010 (UTC)

Ok thanks. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate)
Java script issue. Can't sign in properly.Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate)

Woman[edit source]

I nommed History of Woman, thanks for pointing in out and working on it. Very funny. I've edited it a bit and added in some jokers, enlarged a couple of the pics, and will do more later if you don't mind. Pieface, I never met him, but will look at his page, obviously a true gentleman who gives women the benefit of a doubt (always a mistake). Congrats on the Sycamore star, well earned. Aleister 16:50 4 11

I'll have a look at it again. I suppose we can work on this as it sits on the VFH grid unless it gets a rapid nom. Of course it looks sexist but in the writing, you see there is a different intent. Ok...let me check the undercarriage. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 17:51, November 4, 2010 (UTC)

USE UnQuote[edit source]

Hi Romy, the unquote is deleted. We only want good stuff. Kindly take another look. Anything else please let me know.--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 08:23, Nov 5

Rule of Thumb[edit source]

This article is now in VFD. As soon as I wrote my Delete vote, with a query as to why it could not be extended to the Rule of a Roman Emperor's thumb, I realized it could be a perfect vehicle for you, with a minimum of constraints, to weave some more wacked-out world history. Spıke ¬ 21:42 6-Nov-10

OK. I'll have a 'hack' at it. It has possibilities. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 08:32, November 7, 2010 (UTC)

I've rehabbed it and the vote now suggests it will survive VFD. But Section 1.1 on the Roman Empire begs for tugs in new directions that you could give it. Spıke ¬ 10:16 7-Nov-10

Have now linked to it from Thumb--an article that could use some of your thumb photos, as it has none at all. Spıke ¬ 13:13 7-Nov-10

Added some pix as requested. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 13:44, November 7, 2010 (UTC)

Just what it needed! I went in afterward, tidied up, and removed the template begging for help. Spıke ¬ 15:10 7-Nov-10

;)[edit source]

Well, If you hadn't helped me, this page would have never got featured ;). I think that I need to thank you! Polisz.jpgSir Ptok-BentonicznyPisz tutaj KUN 22:31, November 6, 2010 (UTC)

AP--Warner Bros to buy Harry Potter studio in England[edit source]

Here's an AP wire for you.

Leavesden Studios is based at a former airfield where aircraft were built during World War II and shortly afterward. It was later used by Rolls-Royce for the construction of airplane engines.

Not so fast. Thereafter, it was a Cadbury chocolate factory, the exact one where Kraft president Irene Rosenfeld declared, "We are going to keep all the Cadbury plants open. Forever." A fortnight later, as an unnamed subordinate shut the plant because of squabbles with the "sodding unions," the Harry Potter filming crew took over--employing some of the same chocolate workers, who are a bit jaded about the way Warner chairman Barry Meyer touted the company's 86-year history of investing in British filmmaking.

Care to turn this into an UnNews? Spıke ¬ 22:05 8-Nov-10

OK I will have a 'muse' on this idea. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 07:17, November 9, 2010 (UTC)

??? I'll start it; feel free to expand it or add a photo. Spıke ¬ 13:16 9-Nov-10

Well the obvious joke to me is that Harry Potter 'moves' to America to earn more in the Wizard business. Like British actors crossing the Atlantic to appear in a block buster. So Harry Potter graduates from Hogwarts and goes to Harvard Magic School or something. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 13:29, November 9, 2010 (UTC)
UnNews:Warner Brothers to acquire Harry Potter

I merely pursued the obvious worry of this transaction so soon after the Cadbury/Kraft thing. Pile on; or find a better photo. Spıke ¬ 13:43 9-Nov-10

Seems Ok to me Spike. I will think about my Harry idea as there is a premiere for the next film this week. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:24, November 9, 2010 (UTC)

UnNews:Europe: UK wins top spot in drug-taking[edit source]

I see you have found a story theme dear to your heart. I've shortened the headline. Spıke ¬ 14:13 10-Nov-10

Hah! it's in the 1-spot, even before you finish editing it. (Perhaps before you find out where I moved it.) Spıke ¬ 14:21 10-Nov-10

Thanks Spike. I didn't work much on it, the story came up quickly and then I remembered Prime Minister Cameron is in China asking them to Buy British. The Chinese haven't forgotten the Opium Wars and how Britain first took Hong Kong and in the second war (with France), destroyed an Imperial palace outside the walls (the Summer Palace) amongst other things. A few years the Chinese government financed a film about this. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 15:52, November 10, 2010 (UTC)
Ah, you guys. Wish you could share wotm this month, but one now, the other next. Thanks for the vote on Bed, Romartus! Very appreciated. The last pic represents the bad day that the guy has woken up to, literally (he woke up right there!) and metaphorically. Must take a nap now, after viewing Bed again sssssssnore ssssssssnore. Aleister 15:00 12 11

Ta[edit source]

Thank you for voting my 40th feature this has enabled me to receive free electro-convulsive aversion therapy.--Sog1970 21:48, November 14, 2010 (UTC)

And thanks for nomming Boer War which started the whole sorry episode.

Thanks Soggy. I am glad I came across your work and that you've stormed to 40 features here. Stormin' Soggy! --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 11:35, November 15, 2010 (UTC)

United States of Earth got featured 60 years in advance[edit source]

Thanks to you from me and Sog Sog and I. Much appreciated.--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 09:07, Nov 16

USE-flag2.jpg

Ra[edit source]

Asking you, Funnybony and Sog if you'd like to collab on a "Suddenly, Ra" page. Four pages actually, like the other two in the series. We would need a historian like yourself, a photo chopper to create the pics, and lots of writers to masterpiece and sculpt it perfectly. Pretty please with an Egyptian fig on top? (and as the page says, "Here's lookin' at you, fig"). Aleister 12:59 18 11

So, suddenly the Egyptian god turns up in an article? Ra connected jokes I guess. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 13:27, November 18, 2010 (UTC)
Like in "Suddenly, Raccoons" and "Suddenly, 'coons", the only thing left is "Suddenly, Ra". Same styles, two medium bursts of writing per page, but the pages would have to capture as much of the essence of the history, of Ra worship, and of the influence of the culture and the religion on history as possible within those confines. Hence, asking you! Also asked Mhaille, as he is a genius and would laugh at us from above if we tried to do this without him. Sog has agreed, and will jump in once it's started. Thoughts? Shapeshiftings? Aleister 13:34 18 11
Ra-Ra Rasputin, lover of the Russian Queen...--Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:04, November 18, 2010 (UTC)
Isn't RA the patron saint of cheerleaders?--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 17:58, Nov 19

You earned this too[edit source]

Bro. Your edits and improvements mark the difference between success and failure, and the same goes for Aleister. If you don’t agree then go argue with the article’s history log. That makes for collaboration. And collaborations increase our belief in humanity. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 17:58, Nov 19

link=:File:{{{image}}}

This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!


Thanks Funnybony! Congratulations on your feature! Anything to have helped push it along. You could be soon giving Soggy a run for his money too on that front!! --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 23:08, November 19, 2010 (UTC)

Tony Jaa wants to show you his appreciation[edit source]

Much thanks for making Tony a feature. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 05:45, Nov 21


Tony Jaa doesn’t take yes for an answer from this gang.

User:Special Cases[edit source]

Your request for a legend by which others might know that a given user has been perma-banned, seems to have been implemented. Spıke ¬ 12:30 21-Nov-10

Well that is something of an improvement. At least we now have an idea why this user got exiled though a perma ban looks harsh in the circumstances. Anyway, Special Cases was also having some beef with Wikipedia and trying to use this site to back him up, which as I understand was the reason why Cartoonist Henning got the perma-ban treatment too. I guess Special Cases can go to IRC again which was where I talked to him briefly. Some users unfortunately don't realise arguing with an admin here is like tackling a tiger with a toothpick. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 15:21, November 21, 2010 (UTC)

This was beyond "arguing with an admin"--which, yes, one ought to be able to do without retribution--but publically humiliating them and blanking their pages based on unspecified past decisions, reminiscent of the Zimulator/Ozymandiaz dust-up. Happily, Special Cases listed himself on Ban Patrol (along with Mordillo et al). This was a dare to be banned, something that is almost always successful. Spıke ¬ 15:50 21-Nov-10

OK perhaps you're right Spike. After my experience with Sockhog, I know some users are programmed to annoy and not to listen. Still - a permaban looks harsh. I do believe in rehabilitation, even for Gompy. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 15:56, November 21, 2010 (UTC)

I've seen people transform their lives. Often, acquiring a spouse is the motivation. On the other hand, I am not said spouse, and did not come here to revert them until that happy day should happen. Lyrithya this morning tries to give gentle guidance to ChineseToiletman 1996, surely his birth year, which shows no signs of taking. Spıke ¬ 16:08 21-Nov-10

The user name alone suggests possible trouble in my view! Still, see what happens there. Ah..14 year old boys, the website's current demographic profile!--Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 16:15, November 21, 2010 (UTC)
Eh, you realise I only did that for appearances, right? Talk first. Harangue an admin into banning... er, I mean... ~ Pointy.png *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101121 - 16:33 (UTC)
This was nothing about arguing with admins, this was about a (self proclaimed) 10 year old acting like a 10 year old, and after been asked nicely repeatedly to stop acting like an ass, went into a vandal spree. I don't give a damn about my page being blanked, but when he went into a blanking spree vandalizing other user pages and Uncyclopedia pages, after being banned in the passed already, I see no need for further chances. As for the rehabilitation - we're not the US department of corrections and I have enough on my plate with the normal vandals to make the the effort to "rehabilitate" people who refuse to listen. Remember that part about "editing here is a privilege?" Last but not least, nothing here is permanent. If he can make a good case for himself to be unbanned, I'm willing to listen. But he'll have to be very convincing. ~Jewriken.GIF 17:38, November 22, 2010 (UTC)
Just on a point of order (order,order) Mordillo, are we are talking about 'ChinesetToiletman' or Special Cases here? Just wanted to make it clear I wasn't being supportive of the former, just asking about the latter. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 09:26, November 23, 2010 (UTC)
I'm talking about Special Cases. ~Jewriken.GIF 09:31, November 24, 2010 (UTC)
OK. Rehab for Vandals will have to wait. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 18:47, November 24, 2010 (UTC)

Fox's Law[edit source]

You gonna delete this article after I rewrote it? If you think there isn't enough of it, that's valid, but after my segue from author's Three Kahlua Milkshake line to a discussion of lactose intolerance as the factor that moved Fox from Wikipedia to here, there's no longer nothing worth saving. Spıke ¬ 19:21 23-Nov-10

It is still very opaque despite your work Spike. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 18:48, November 24, 2010 (UTC)

Language further simplified, and now with an additional illustration, explanation, and drills. See if you like it now. Spıke ¬ 19:48 24-Nov-10

Protagonist[edit source]

Is it any better now? I ask mostly out of curiosity at this point, but... ~ Pointy.png *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101125 - 00:28 (UTC)

Hi Lyrithya. Yes your links to films/books etc works a treat...I was just too late to register a vote in favour before it got featured. I'll drop a note on the author's page too but your edits/additions and cross references were just what the article needed! --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 07:15, November 25, 2010 (UTC)
I was the author... o___O But yay! All that painful time harassing the IRC people to find me links for me paid off!
Anyhow, Rommy, darling, Weird was the other folks' one I tried to fix up. That one any better, either? ~ Pointy.png *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101125 - 07:22 (UTC)
I was about to correct myself when we cross edited then! Very well done for your feature!! I look again at weird. I am a Duh-dumbo here. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 07:25, November 25, 2010 (UTC)
*huggles Romartus and runs away* ~ Pointy.png *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101125 - 07:41 (UTC)

UnNews:North Korea welcomes Sarah Palin's support[edit source]

I had not read the Palin news--taking in media outlets that report Obama's gaffes more faithfully than those of Palin--so at first I thought your article was generic Palin-bashing, rather than real-news-based, specific Palin-bashing. The Source is sufficient, but would it help to have a new Paragraph 2 to relate it to reality?

Palin made the overture on Glenn Beck's show. The host reminded Palin that South Korea is the one that the U.S. is allied with--reportedly, in a matter of seconds--but that was enough time for the North to translate, and plan a festival season around, the show of solidarity from the North's traditional enemy.

Or am I just being overprotective of our little hottie?

Separately, after all that Commie orthodoxy, you could end with a zinger, such as that Palin's other comment on the show was more problematic--the promise to send AWACS radar planes to Havana. Spıke ¬ 20:43 26-Nov-10

Was Palin offering to give Cuba AWACS aircraft or having them in the air monitoring that country in case they invaded the Florida everglades? I hadn't really planned to extend the story as the joke was more how the news could play in North Korea if they turned black into white. So not really about Palin as such. And if you think she's a hottie Spike, I fear for your sanity. Turn off those Republican radio shock jocks now! --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 23:04, November 26, 2010 (UTC)

No, Palin said nothing about Cuba at all. But if the story isn't a poke at Palin's gaffe, it's less funny; you might consider making it more of one along the above lines. Spıke ¬ 23:15 26-Nov-10

So, in case you missed it...[edit source]

...you can keep Uncyclopedia, seeing how bad you want to control it. I'll leave out the profanities this time, they did nothing to improve the message. Also, I don't want to clutter your talk page with words like "fuck" and "dick". Byes. -- Style Oranssiviiva.jpg Guide 19:10, November 28, 2010 (UTC)

Hi Multi. Glad you dropped by before heading into the snow. Well hold on to your parka! There is no need for anyone to leave. I can no more 'control' uncyclopedia than you can, it's an open wiki. I have precisely one vote as regards any article that is up for featuring,deletion,carved into solid rock or tattooed on a loved one's nether regions. If the Uncyclopedia community wants to change that system, well argue and win your case with other users here. Simples? --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 10:48, November 29, 2010 (UTC)
He might not, as he seems to have cleaned out his locker (again). Multi, as Romartus indulges you, I must confess my bafflement. Is this message, like Forum:Standards of humour, merely "sarcasm" at work? Spıke ¬ 11:33 29-Nov-10
PS--I have two votes. Spike sockpuppet

Thanks[edit source]

I couldn't help but notice that you gave Uncy's readers a tour of what you called "the weird" recently. I tagged along in back (you may not have seen me) and heard your descriptions and stories, and stuck around to meet your friend Eddie. A nice fellow, although he did seem a bit upset and may need to medicate at some point. Well, I don't want to overextend my stay on your talk page, and clutter it with words such as "cluck a doodle doo" or "cluster zing". Good day, sir. Aleister 12:00 29 11

In case a stranger walks past this page, I have added a link to the article in question. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 12:27, November 29, 2010 (UTC)

Honorary FbotM[edit source]

Congratulations on the Writer of The Month win! Well done. But better congratulations on winning the (honorary) Frat Bro of the Month award, for being such a good sport and giving readers a tour of your home and hobbies. Aleister 1:40 1 12

Frat Bro of the Month Frat Bro of the Month Honorary, November 2010

Hi Romy[edit source]

I did quite a bit of revamping the Mike Tyson page. What was it that bothered you? Please see if you think its better. And please let me know what's wrong? Did you ever look at this? Hope you're well! Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 21:21, Dec 1

I'll have another look at Tyson and the other article mentioned.--Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 16:41, December 2, 2010 (UTC)

Cockmuncher[edit source]

Hi, cockmuncher. So you won Writer of the Month have you? Jolly'Good you dry old fart of a historian that lives in a council flat in essex, eating pot noddles and watching futurama all day long. --Gomphog

I imagine your in 50s now, I bet your going to buy a sportscat, a wig and bang a load of hookers.
Gompy Sockhog! Thanks for congratulations, I see you're recycling some of your previous insults, though they are still funny now. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 16:38, December 2, 2010 (UTC)
Wise words. You ought to cut down on those "noddles," Rom, or "your" going to get fat. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 16:42, December 2, 2010 (UTC)
Who knew a diet of Pot noodles would get me a boatload of hookers! I think it could feature in the next issue of UnSignpost. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 17:00, December 2, 2010 (UTC)
I usually eat Asda Smart Price noodles, so I suppose my hookers are going to be a bit on the rough side. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 17:05, December 2, 2010 (UTC)
Ah...well I get mine from Waitrose...--Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 17:24, December 2, 2010 (UTC)
You can go and ritualistly beat a old man to death with a dildo that goes POW and WHACK in a comical superhero manner. --Lord Assfuckington of Bumwankon