Thumb
Thumbs are a short, thick species of worm that commonly infects hands. These worms are transmitted from the mother to the child, and are the most prolific species of parasite infecting humans. When a thumb wants to signal to others that it's ready to mate, it will stand erect in a pose called a "thumb's up". It will then hijack the nervous system of a human, so that it can engage in a "thumb war" (actually a form of copulation) with another of its kind.
Maturity[edit | edit source]
Juvenile thumbs are called thumblings, and feast on the saliva of their host by secreting hormones that control the young host, bringing the worm to the mouth. This is a bad habit, because after puberty, the worm will get hungrier and harder to satiate.
As the thumblings grow, they develop in two different directions. Females develop bizarre coloring, which varies before finally settling on red. This is known as "fingernail polish". Males begin secreting a hormone that stimulates a desire to feed females a milky substance known as "semen".
Anatomy[edit | edit source]
Bones[edit | edit source]
The thumb consists of three bones:
- Distal phalanx
- Not-so-distal phalanx
- First Metatron
The exterior fallensus longustostus is a long word. It forms the "huff box" and experiences euphoria from the rest of the tendons, or kittens. Related words (related mostly in their length) are: Abductor alienus, magistrate, denouement ...
Opposing thumbs[edit | edit source]
On occasion, two thumbs vie for the attention of their host. This is known as "thumbling rivalry". Although it usually starts innocently, these squabbles escalate into fights. The tussling thumblings should be separated and each put into a separate pocket, before they begin to twiddle.
Hitchhiker's guide to the thumb[edit | edit source]
A dominant trait of the thumb is the fact that it has a whip. It is such a dominant trait that hitchhikers should stay away from lone thumbs or they may be whipped and dominated.