User talk:Anyone

“ Copper Stools. Doesn't that phrase just bring back memories?--The late early really-dead-this-time-I-swear Copper_Stooler ”

Welcome!

Hello, Anyone, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

• Beginner's Guide
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, or ask at the Dump. Again, welcome!  -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

HowTo:Skip School

Wow... Thanks for voting for my article on VFH. Finally, my lack of volunteer work, failure to socialize outside of the interweb, and ugliness have paid off. Again, thanks! -- §. | WotM | PLS | T | C | A

VFD

When you nominate an article for deletion, make sure you have already put the {{VFD}} template in it or nasty stuff may befall you. (I have fixed the mess you left behind so you are kind of lucky this time.) -- The Colonel (talk) 15:34, 6 October 2006 (UTC)

Hi!

I noticed your maintainence work. Please make sure you're familiar with UN:10COM and UN:DEL! It'll make the admins' jobs a bit easier, therefore reducing the likelihood of total doom. Thanks! — Major Sir Hinoa (Plead) (KUN) (19:58, 6 October 2006 (UTC))

No it's not about Tony Danza

Look, I wouldn't vote against you just because of a meaningless reason to vote against an article, it's just some of your reasons in general, such as simply giving an article For because you "have been giving out too many Against votes". Or you voting against an article and then immediately stating that you like the article you just were against featuring, vote on articles you find funny. There should be no reason to vote an article against if you like it.

I repeat, Tony Danza doesn't mean anything Anyone, although I was under the assumption too that you didn't bother to read the article when you said there was a missing reference to him (even though there was).--Witt, of UNion Entertain me* 21:08, 17 October 2006 (UTC)

Old Joke!

Hate to burst your bubble but already done--The Right Honourable Maj Sir Elvis UmP KUN FIC MDA VFH Bur. CM and bars UGM F@H (Petition) 16:00, 19 October 2006 (UTC)

Here it is!

Witt E, has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Cheers for the nom...

...on HowTo: Learn Guitar. I wonder if it'll do any good this time round?

Anyway, I got to go to bed now, need to be up in the morning for a Contextual studies lecture. I wonder if the article will still be on there? Hmmm.... Cheers again, and good luck with NOTM. -- Hindleyite 21:07, 25 October 2006 (UTC)

Just curious - if you have a lecture on Contextual studies, then how do you know where to find it? --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 19:17, 27 October 2006 (UTC)

It's usually in the last place I look. And the lecture theatre is the last place I would look. -- Hindleyite 19:21, 27 October 2006 (UTC)

Re: Admiral Donce

Thanks, dude! Poodlemcmuffin 21:19, 26 October 2006 (UTC)

F@H

01:08, 27 October 2006 (UTC)

user:mordillo/koShare

Thanks for the spelling thingy, I guess I'll never get that damn language perfectly *sigh*. Anyways, since you read it already, any thougts? Don't seem to get a response on the Pee review....-- Brigadier Sir Mordillo GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI³ AnotM VFH +S 08:48, 27 October 2006 (UTC)

That article...

Yeh, the 'shut up you fag I'm making jokes' one. The NRV tag on it expired. So, I moved it your userspace to do whatever the heck you like with. Have fun, and congrats on your impending NOTM awardage! -- Hindleyite 13:21, 31 October 2006 (UTC)

Noob of the Month

I left something a bit snarkier in the forum, but two things to say: One, it's very generous of you to do such a thing -- and I fully agree that Kwakerjak was a highly deserving recipient. Two, the award is given for your contributions for a particular month. (I got mine for my dashing good looks, and also because Hindleyite enjoyed the Snopes article.) If you're not going to be around as much, that's a shame, and your contributions will be missed, but consider the NotM as a thank you for services rendered.--Procopius 03:32, 3 November 2006 (UTC)

Also, please do not "rewrite history". It is your prerogative to refuse the award if you wish, but it is not up to you to decide whether someone else should receive it, nor who that someone should be. And I hope you'll still be around a bit, though. -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 10:32, 3 November 2006 (UTC)

Thanks!

“ You saved my love life AND my marriage--I'll never get kicked in the balls again! Thanks T. ”

I laughed out loud when I read this. Seriously, it's what every wannabe self-help book author dreams of hearing. I'm thinking of GIMPing it onto the book cover if I can make room. Your nickname makes the comment universal praise, and I think it would be good for sales.  :) ~ T. (talk) 20:57, 6 November 2006 (UTC)

Money is also good. I accept cash, dollars, turkish prostitutes, and cash money. Or MoneySign's soul. Your(sic) welcome. --Anyone 21:24, 6 November 2006 (UTC)

Thanks for taking care of that

Someone keeps sticking a link to my article in places.

...I'm not that proud of the Kinnikuman article. I did it out of drunken stupor...

Thanks anyways though~. -stab-

~Hanyouman~

Don't thank me, thank democracy. Or something. Your welcome. Don't forget your timestamp though, champ! --Anyone 14:57, 9 November 2006 (UTC)

Notm

cheers for the nomination, shall i add the temp. onto my namespace? --Braydie 19:21, 9 November 2006 (UTC)

oh geez *blushes* silly me. I'll get it for ya. thanks for the reminder. --Anyone 21:00, 9 November 2006 (UTC)

:) don't worry about it, thanks again --Braydie 23:06, 9 November 2006 (UTC)

Braydie has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Thanks for nominating and voting me at NotM --—Braydie 00:29, 1 December 2006 (UTC)

VFD

You are now limited to adding one (1) new article to VFD per day. Flooding it with articles discourages people from voting on them, and makes it hard to maintain. Uncyclopedia gets better in two ways - we delete bad articles, and we improve bad articles. Now that you can't flood VFD, why don't you spend some of your free time improving bad articles? TY. Sir Famine, Gun ♣ Petition » 11/11 17:17

One article a day? I know how uncyc gets better, but I am not an improver. I am a deleter. I leave the improving to those who are actually good at improving. I only do VFD about once a week, but when I do, I try to find as much crap as possible. By limiting my contributions you're not solving the VFD problem, you're just creating another one. Now along with little traffic to VFD, there are going to be fewer articles to vote on in the first place. VFD is not like VFH; it doesn't take that long to read through most of the articles I put up, realize they're crap, and vote to delete them. Most people just don't feel like going there at all, much like Pee review. But whatever you say I guess. --Anyone 18:09, 11 November 2006 (UTC)

It would be tremendously helpful (to me, at least) if you'd use your crud-hunting skills to tag crappy articles with {{FFW}} for consideration for the upcoming Forest Fire Week. VFD stays clean, authors get a heads-up of impending deletion, and we'll already have a pile of ready-to-cook spam ready for roasting come BBQ time. :) ~ T. (talk) 17:46, 13 November 2006 (UTC)

WELCOME TO THE LEAGUE!

Benson 23:26, 14 November 2006 (UTC)

VFH

Braydie has awarded you some ice cream! For voting for HowTo:Make a Band

--—Braydie 16:59, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

Thank you

I appreciate the nomination for NOTM. I haven't a chance in Hell, but the recognition is appreciated. ^_^ It's good to know my stuff is being read, let alone liked. --The Bard of Uncyclopedia 18:32, 8 December 2006 (UTC)

True, when I nommed you I never imagined you winning this month. But just like Geonomi was nommed late last month and came back strong this month, I predict you too will have a strong chance next month. On another note, you remind me of someone I used to know Bard...I can't place my finger on it though. hmmm... --Anyone 19:05, 11 December 2006 (UTC)

Oops. ^_^ When you didn't reply after a couple of days, I didn't think you were going to. If I remind you of someone else, I guess that shouldn't be too surprising. Besides being a semi-avid reader, I blatantly steal wherever possible. My poem formatting is a rip off of Todd Lyon's various poems, the UnPoetia page is stolen from Some user's Uncycloversity page, and Life's Answerable Questions is nothing more than a cheap copy of Hindleyite's article (in concept and formatting). Nominating me for NOTM and for VFH just encourages more of the same. ^_^. --The Bard of Uncyclopedia 14:20, 16 December 2006 (UTC)

Jeez.....I hope you're not me. That would be so embarrassing. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Haha, I'll take him away Anyone, come on Mhaille, back to the mental inst. --—Braydie 14:43, 16 December 2006 (UTC)

Get off me Brad Bard Braydie...... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Waiter? I'll have whatever it is he's having. ^_^ --The Bard of Uncyclopedia 15:09, 16 December 2006 (UTC)

At least you're an honest thief. And that's something to be admired. Possibly. --Sir Todd GUN WotM MI UotM NotM MDA VFH AotM Bur. AlBur. CM NS PC (talk) 01:04, 17 December 2006 (UTC)

Thanks!

Somebody has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Thanks for the props, dude! In fairness to Braydie, though, he does a lot of grunt work, too. The curse/blessing of ops is that we have the ability (and therefore the charge) to do more of it. I appreciate you giving me the nod over another very worthy nominee.--<<>> 22:28, 8 December 2006 (UTC)

Well I can only go by what I see, and with my recent inactivity I've really only had a chance to notice your good deeds. Braydie still has a special place in my heart though! --Anyone 19:06, 11 December 2006 (UTC)

Welcome to UnNews

I'm glad we had this talk too... ahem...

I guess I'm a bit late in getting this to you. It's been getting more difficult keeping up with the glut of decent and good articles. So, here it is, your official welcome...

On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 03:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

the important stuff about UnNews articles

Welcome to UnNews, and thank you for contributing some crap. For a very quick introduction to the ins and outs, please take 30 seconds to read Help:How to write an UnNews article. Please note that proper formatting of an articles title has only the first word (after UnNews:) and proper nouns capitalized. The second offense of this cardinal rule gets your ass banned. Heh, just kidding... maybe.

Also, a perusal of HowTo:Tune up an UnNews article may help you sink to the average level of UnNews mediocrity, and go on to fame, fortune, and celebrity. Cheers!

Prototype: how to do an unnews audio

Note: this crap is a work in progress

Jesus bought the Holy Ass, depicted here as a raptor, from zim in 1066 AD.

As for doing the UnNews Audio Perpendicular Mambo, first you'll need software to record sound files on your computer. I currently use Cakewalk Sonar, but many other applications such as the freeware Audacity, or other commercial applications like Steinberg's Cubase and Pro Tools Digital Audio Workstation will be great.

Having that in place, there ar UnNews jingle files you can download, and add to your files here:

• https://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/File:UnNews_Jingle_British.mp3
• https://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/File:UnNews_Jingle_American.MP3

You'll need to upload your final audio file in mp3 format.

Once uploaded, you'll need to tag the article you've read like this

{{UnNewsAudio|Your_soundfile_name.mp3}}.

Next, go to this page https://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/Template:FrontPageMediaMenuBeta, add your file with pointer and file size arranged like this:

Your_soundfile_name.mp3|article_title|<file size>KB|

The file size information can be found on the info page of the audio which you've uploaded.

The procedure for setting up your file for podcast is a secret freemason thingy which Olipro and I currently manage. I'm around almost daily, so I look for new audio files to delete fix, or whatever. If you get hung up with any of these steps, let me know, or alternately check out #unnews and #uncyclopedia on IRC. Cheers!

Umm...yeah, sure. That's a lot of reading you expect me to do! This feels like school. I'll just tell you now, I'm not going to do Audio for UnNews. Nobody wants to hear my voice, and besides, I don't want to give away my ambiguity. I probably won't do too many more UnNews articles either, since I'm not much of a writer, much less a faux-journalist. But I appreciate the warm welcome nonetheless! --Anyone 20:15, 13 December 2006 (UTC)

Xmas

Premier Tom Mayfair does not share in your pagan ways. Nor does he celebrate capitalist retail. He hopes that you convert to Communism before it's too late. Do the right thing. Пролетарии всех стран, соединяйтесь!

|

22:45, 14 December 2006 (UTC)

Bradaphraser was throwing away last year's Christmas cards, and realised they had purposefully forgotten about you. This user is completely thoughtless, doesn't care about Multi-culturalism, and therefore DEMANDS you have yourself a Merry little Christmas... NOW! Failure to comply with result in disciplinary action up to and including excommunication from the Capitalist Church

May you focus on your successes and forget your failures here at the end of the year. Never forget how we all improve one another's lives. Season's Greetings.--<<>> 17:25, 17 December 2006 (UTC)

praise me now!

zim_ulator wishes you a Merry Kaizum Me! the first holiday officially sanctioned by the church of zimizm (cOz)!

Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 00:48, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

Merry Christmas

Hindleyite was throwing away last year's Christmas cards, and realised they had purposefully forgotten about you. This user doesn't care about Multi-culturalism, and DEMANDS you have a Merry Christmas... NOW!

Merry Chrimbo to Anyone. Just watch out for the reconstituted chicken extracts that may fall out of the card when you open it. -- Hindleyite Converse • ?pedia 14:01, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

Nothing says [[Insert religious or pagan holiday of your choice]] like getting drunk with a moose. So this year, why not savour a treasured Canadian tradition with a bottle of hooch, horns, hooves, and hypothermia? The drinks are on me. ~ Todd

--Sir Todd GUN WotM MI UotM NotM MDA VFH AotM Bur. AlBur. CM NS PC (talk) 16:04, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

zim_ulator wishes you a Merry Kaizum Me! the first holiday officially sanctioned by the church of zimizm (cOz)!

Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 00:45, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

Braydie was throwing away last year's Christmas cards, and realised they had purposefully forgotten about you. This user doesn't care about Multi-culturalism, and DEMANDS you have a Merry Christmas... NOW!

or Happy whatever --—Braydie 17:28, 22 December 2006 (UTC)

did'ya forget this one?

Your page marked "Work in Progress" was moved to User:Anyone/HowTo:Be Italian after 7 days with no activity. Feel free to move it back when it's ready. -- sannse (talk) 10:56, 28 December 2006 (UTC)

Benson: A referendum

For the time being, to keep things fair, I've instituted a one vote per person system. Please feel free to move your vote. Sorry if this annoys you, but just voting against doesn't really help. Thanks anyway. --The Rt. Hon. BarryC MUN (Symposium!) Sigh. Double Sigh. 23:55, 18 January 2007 (UTC)

Yeah that's fine. I was just worried because even though I was for getting rid of all the voting I didn't want the votes which I was also against to win. Or something. But I see it's all working out.--Anyone 17:39, 19 January 2007 (UTC)

Benson: A refund. Or your money back

Don't have anything to say really, just wanted to write something funny. And I still dream that I will. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Oh Mhaille. Never give up that dream. Even when you're old and grey and have leprosy and you have to go live in the valley of the lepers because leprosy isn't covered by your health insurance but for some reason a plane ticket to the valley of the lepers IS covered and you lose your job because your boss is all "eww, get away from me leper-face" and none of your friends return your calls and your mother is too busy with that new boyfriend of hers to return your calls, you know, the one you TOLD her to stay away from but she goes and dates him anyway. Just never give up that dream and you'll be alright. --Anyone 18:46, 19 January 2007 (UTC)

Valencia Grapes

I loved Valencia Grapes! I'm so pissed off that they've become extinct! If you can steer me to a copy, I'd love to read it, but in truth, my disappointment during my reading was fleeting and momentary, like a good bowel movement. Thanks for your kind words about my audio excellence (gak!). While we're "speaking", apparently I've never welcomed you to UnNews, so...

On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 03:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

Reverend Zim_ulator says: "There are coffee cup stains on this copy, damnit! Now that's good UnJournalism."

Welcome to UnNews, Anyone, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

---

You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.

What happened to my article?

---

If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

UnNews Audio

---

If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.

UnNews UnFunnies

---

At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found Stripgenerator.com, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC) Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 21:51, 26 January 2007 (UTC)

WOTM

Thank you.--Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 08:43, 1 February 2007 (UTC)

UOTM

Braydie thanks you for voting for him to be Uncyclopedian of the Month January 2007.

—Braydie at 15:23, 2 February 2007 (UTC)

And it only takes...

...two seconds for me to kick your ass! To quote Ben Stiller in Mystery Men: "Uh, please don't correct me. It sickens me." =P R 20:34, 2 February 2007 (UTC)

VFP

"Weak For. The picture is alright, but it's the caption that makes it good. Don't quit your day job Modus. (your day job being writing)".

Actually my day job is office drone. That's probably why I've written so much stuff; the left side of the brain is occupied (procedure is king in an office) while the right just freewheels resulting in, well, pretty much everything I've done here. That other people have been entertained by things that are essentially byproducts of boredom still (after a year and a half) surprises and amuses me. I don't know how your mind works, but for me the muse is a crazy broad (if, for example, someone had told me a year ago that I'd write not one, but two vaguely Christmas-themed pages I'd have thought them quite mad. Now it's just me. That's mad, I mean).

Also, the picture isn't just alright. It's adorable. --Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 20:13, 16 February 2007 (UTC)

Who are you?! Get out of my house! Oh it's just you old friend. You really must remember to wear clothes, atleast a few times a week, that way I can catch a good look at your face instead of staring at your grotesquely large...right buttocks. Have you seen a doctor about that? But I digress, it still amazes me that you take the time to leave a personal touch everytime someone does something for you, almost as if you can get out of paying me that 20 bucks you owe me. Speaking of, you got that 20 bucks you owe me? --Anyone 20:39, 16 February 2007 (UTC)

I'm a little dumbfounded that the pic wasn't received with booes and hisses (my nom comment says it all). Also um, what's that you about mone.../me looks at watch...I think I left the iron on...the oven. *flee* --Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 20:52, 16 February 2007 (UTC)

Your watch told you that you left the iron on the oven? That's one sweet watch. Also, what did I tell you about trying to cook your iron. Sure it might taste good, but good luck passing that bad boy out the other end. Trust me on that one. --Anyone 20:59, 16 February 2007 (UTC)

Have you ever noticed how most if not all conversations here are similar to that one you had with the mailbox when you got a concussion? --Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 21:29, 16 February 2007 (UTC)

Mhaille rushes by as naked as a jay...

At least he was rushing. At my birthday he strolled. --Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 21:38, 16 February 2007 (UTC)

Thank you!

	Congratulation! You are now happy owner of new proud fat kid with an Accordion from El Zoof!
	Much felicitous appreciations for happy double nice good voting for HowTo:Stop Playing the Accordion

--El Zoof 00:26, 22 February 2007 (UTC)

UotM

Thank you very much for your vote. This month, do the right thing and vote for Spang. --Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 02:32, 1 May 2007 (UTC)

A Friendly Message to You

Warning:

You were whored once by an evil man who has gone from the dark side to the side of goodness. He has ended his whoring ways. he has crawled out of his swamp of depression. He has taken up golf and fishing. He has shaved his face. He has taken a shower. He has eaten breakfast. He has put on a white suit. He has gone back to work. He has gotten engaged. He has taken away the hot picture that used to be here. This template replaces the evil whoring he once did. He is sorry. This message was paid for with positive energy and love

--Major'GUN' Ggarfield, Le Marquis de Nofu .Complex! 19:24, 10 December 2007 (UTC)