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Cow tipping is a term that describes the custom of giving bovines an additional sum of money in exchange for their milk, meat, or other services. Cow tipping is quite common in the American South, and it is considered proper etiquette to tip at least fifteen percent of whatever the bill may be. In fact, dairy cows make a majority of their money from tips and receive only two pennies for each gallon of their milk that is sold.

Although appropriate in most situations, in some circumstances – say the cow is or was government-affiliated – cow tipping is illegal, i.e. bribery. (Full article...)

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DID U KNOE...

... that the Washington Niggers (Pictured) are set to change their name?

... that Rihanna's hit song Umbrella can cause rain to fall upwards?
... that this is just a distraction while we take your car?
... that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering?
... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
... that every time you fall asleep, you die?
... that sarcasm is a higher form of wit than the Russian Reversal?

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In the news
Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge (Pictured) NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig Climate activists ruin Jackson Pollock painting, no one notices Stalemate in Ukraine: Zelenskyy flees for greener pastures Steamboat Willie enters public domain, several Mickey Mouse horror films and games announced Santa's Elves on strike UnNews finally able to write obituaries for Shaft, Bull and Chandler Will Barbenheimer beat JigSaw in his own game? Ongoing: Russian Invasion · ABBA Recent deaths: Akira Toriyama · M. Emmet Walsh · Louis Gossett Jr. · Hype around the eclipse · O. J. Simpson Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · The U.S. Federal Budget · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for White Broncos · God's curse on the Buffalo Bills (..maybe) UNNEWS – RADIO FREE LUNCH
ON DIS DAI...
April 15: *Sinking of James Cameron's The Titanic* Day** 1 AD - The IRS is invented by angry accountants, thousands mourn. 1865 - Abraham Lincoln leaves a scathing Yelp review of Ford's Theatre on his way to the afterlife. 1912 - The RMS Titanic strikes an errant iceberg and starts to sink (Pictured), thankfully the passengers use the ship's many doors as makeshift life rafts and all survive. 1912 - Meanwhile, dozens of innocent Polar bears are severely injured as their iceberg is struck by an overrated piece of metal. Icebergs later sue for libel, loses to jury with three cruise ships. 1947 - Jackie Robinson breaks the color barrier, then reimburses Major League Baseball for it. 1989 - The Tiananmen Square square protests erupt over absolutely nothing. Move along, citizen. 2013 - Two Chechens bomb the Boston Marathon, Mark Wahlberg's pupils turn into dollar signs like in the cartoons. VIEW 2MORROW – MOAR ANNIVERSARIEZ...
COLONIZASHUN OV TEH WEEK
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TODAIS FEATURD PICCHUR

Benjamin Franklin: founding father, inventor, politician, passionate kite-flier, and self-proclaimed King of Rhyme. In short, a true Renaissance man.

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WRITR AN N00B OV TEH MONTH

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

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