User:Sog1970/Archive 2010

Last year's ravings can be found at User:sog1970/Archive 2010

Yes!

Your talk page was so pure too...—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 11:20, February 13, 2010 (UTC)

Recent Features!

Assuming that Charles gets featured too, I present you with this hat to commemorate your awesome writing ability. (My last name is Jones, so you can guess where I came from paternally) --Sir Skinfan13 Talk {< CUN RotM FBotM VFH ΥΣΣ Maj. SK >} 14:01 EST 13 Feb, 2010

"How To: Get Married" was awesome! I think it'd make a GREAT stage monologue. No props needed - cep mebbe an ol hat, na strah ta chiw ohn. --UnLaw 03:53, April 21, 2010 (UTC)

Cheers, though it would be difficult to stage round here - no one speaks English.--Sog1970 07:34, April 21, 2010 (UTC)

spacing

iPad Thanks

I see you voted for my new iPad Many thanks.

Thanks for voting on my first featured article! --Sir Skinfan13 Talk {< CUN RotM FBotM VFH ΥΣΣ Maj. SK >} 19:48 EST 14 Feb, 2010

And thanks for voting for me to smile my way over to the main page. But how can I thank you? Can you think of a way? Come on down here and whisper it in my ear.

Thanks!

Matfen thanks you for your vote! His article could not have been featured without you...

--Matfen 11:39, February 21, 2010 (UTC)

Oops!

I'm honored. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 07:51, 1 March 2010

Hey Jude Dude!

Totally honored. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 08:24, 1 March 2010

Yo, gotta tell ya, thanks alot for ya vote to put my mug over dere on da front page ya guys control. Let ma tell ya a story. When I was a boy growin' up in New York, in da Irish ghetto da racists brits call it, I ran across a mug who stole a purse from da ole lady dat lived upstairs. Chased dat fuckeer for half-a-mile 'fore I caught him and gave his face what fer. By da time I got done doin' dat I had converted ta catholicism, an' ya wanna know why? Da money! Dis punk kid spent his days robbin' ole ladies and havin' street tuffs like me chase his backend down an' beat it into da ground, for wat, a few coins or a piece or two of foldin' money? Dats when I knew where da big bucks were, and ta not waste my time on the small fry. Anysways, give my best to ya know who, and say a few our faddas and hail marys to get rid of dat stuff ya did las' night. Ok, thanks again, I'm outta here. Fadda Murphy

Would you please

Here is a piece of original artwork left over from the garage sale. It may be worth a lot of money someday, so store it in a safe place. Your vote was very appreciated, thank you. Al en chain 23:48 28 3 mmx

Add your magic touch to this? • FreddThe Redd • • • 15:01 • Tuesday, 16-03-2010

I'm liking what I've seen so far. Modem has blown up at home so I'll look at it over the next couple days at work while I shout at my ISP. Good work, young man--Sog1970 16:30, March 16, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks, old chap. • FreddThe Redd • • • 18:19 • Tuesday, 16-03-2010

Thank you, man! But there is a little problem here; I think the article would fare better with Pathetic, Disorganised, Low-Ludget and Largely Unsuccessful Military Industries as a concept. What do you say? • FreddThe Redd • • • 23:40 • Saturday, 20-03-2010

Allowing you/us to invent some other equally useless military-industrial complexes? Eskimoes? Australian Aboriginals? We Welsh types, chosen of heaven though we are? I could see some legs in that.--Sog1970 23:51, March 20, 2010 (UTC)

Yes. But lay down the Aboriginals, they sue. • FreddThe Redd • • • 23:57 • Saturday, 20-03-2010

I see a future in this now. But I must sleep or my wife will think I'm cheating on her.--Sog1970 00:12, March 21, 2010 (UTC)

Me too. G'night • FreddThe Redd • • • 00:15 • Sunday, 21-03-2010

Oi, mate! Go edit KMI. And vote for it, it's on VFH! • FreddThe Redd • • • 19:50 • Wednesday, 24-03-2010

Bro!

N joy the review. --Matfen 22:35, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

Add your magic touch to..

..my latest article, MTV Castles: Elizabeth Bathory! • FreddThe Redd • • • 16:49 • Wednesday, 7-04-2010

There are 4 pics on the talk page. See if you can use them. :) • FreddThe Redd • • • 23:21 • Wednesday, 7-04-2010

Looking pretty good now. Needs another pic for the middle section. And maybe another section? Could you go into the gardens and have them full of triffids or giant venus fly-traps like little shop of horrors? A few more torture devices? Dunno, it's your baby. --Sog1970 08:55, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

That idiot on your Gotham article

Let me know if he drops by again, would you? Pippings! --UU - natter 13:36, Apr 13

Emo Thanks

You made an emo girl happy! Because of your vote you gave, you have earned a kiss from that happy emo girl, as well as being spared from an mean emo's wrath.Iwillkillyou333 is also happy he made this nice, depressed template as a nice thank you. Now go get that emo girl's number, and take her to watch a warehouse fire. Fun, isn't it?

--DirectorWILLYOU 333Talk IF YOU DARE 02:31, April 22, 2010 (UTC)

Man's best friend

Yeah some great changes there, it flows really well now. The only thing I still had a problem with was the caption for the sidekick picture - I'm still not sure what you're trying to say. What do you mean he "liquidated" him? --Hugs and kisses, Black_Flamingo 20:07, April 22, 2010 (UTC)

Right, I get it now. Just make it clear that he's got the wrong meaning of "mole", and rather than saying "liquidate" it might be clearer if you just said kill. After that you should be well away. --Hugs and kisses, Black_Flamingo 20:19, April 22, 2010 (UTC)

I've nommed this now. --Hugs and kisses, Black_Flamingo 09:56, April 24, 2010 (UTC)

My apologies

I had fully intended to Pee Review Sir Francis Drake by now. I ran into some delays in real life and also here--even though I'm technically retired as head of IC, I ran into a number of things I still have to wrap up and I've got a couple important and difficult decisions to make. In any case, it's my fault, but I haven't done the review, and at this point I might not be able to get to it until Monday. I posted a note saying it's open for whoever in the meantime, but I'm sorry I failed to get it done on time. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  06:39, April 24, 2010 (UTC)

Sir Francis Drake Review

I Pee Reviewed Sir Francis Drake based on version 4498813 of 21:43, April 11, 2010. Hope this helps! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  04:29, April 27, 2010 (UTC)

Africa

Here's one I've seen for awhile. If you hold the pic of Africa upside down it looks like a monkey (or baboon, or chimp) with its right hand raised as if in a wave, sitting on top a cocanut (or something). This is God's way of telling us that we are all just monkeys sitting on cocanuts, waving idiotically at no one in particular. Al des chain 9:26 May Day MMX

p.s. And I'll get around to it, but since I'm here, thank you for your vote at wotm. Very appreciated. Now, tell me where the club meets, and if I have to bring the dope and whores because I'm the new guy.

I just saw you put up the finished product. Did you want a VFH nom now, I'd be honored to nom one of the best pages to grace this entire site, or do you want to wait and work on it after the pee review? Congratulations. Al sans chains 14:09 5 5 MMX

If you like it enough to nom it straight away - great. i pinched nearly all of it from a real site though. --Sog1970 16:09, May 5, 2010 (UTC)

That makes me hesitate, I thought you created the whole thing (well within your ability range). I need to know more. More. More. Al des chain 2:47 6 5 mMX

All the pics are from the same place. I've just spun the ideas into a more extreme standpoint. --Sog1970 07:27, May 6, 2010 (UTC)

Please join me

Bob the sperm. I'd finish it on my own but I don't have much time. So let's go for another collab! SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 12:02, May 9, 2010 (UTC)

Well, I had a little go at it. If you like the general changes we can see where it leads this week. User:Sog1970/bob --Sog1970 22:40, May 9, 2010 (UTC)

Perfect! I really like what you've done with it. On a sidenote, MTV castles is on aprils top 10 thingy, and I am on the Writer of the month thingy. You know what to do. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 08:12, May 10, 2010 (UTC)

Also, you can edit into the mainspace article directly. Also also, do you have a facebook? SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 08:49, May 10, 2010 (UTC)

I didn't edit your version in case you hated it and needed to go through and change it back. But I will if you like. I do have facebook. Though, to be honest I pretty much only play Mafia wars. --Sog1970 09:06, May 10, 2010 (UTC)

"hated it"? Are you kidding? You're one of the best writers this site has ever seen.. Now, go add me SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 09:20, May 10, 2010 (UTC)

Go write! SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 06:37, May 12, 2010 (UTC)

I promise, soon as I find a spare half hour--Sog1970 07:29, May 12, 2010 (UTC)

Welcome to UnNews

On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 03:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

Reverend Zim_ulator says: "There are coffee cup stains on this copy, damnit! Now that's good UnJournalism."

Welcome to UnNews, Sog1970, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

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Late congratulations

Congratulations on getting your first feature article! (I told you this was late). King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  06:09, May 14, 2010 (UTC)

And a belated welcome to uncyclopedia. --Sog1970 11:35, May 14, 2010 (UTC)

Welcome!

Hello, Sog1970, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for signing up. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. Here are a few good links for you:

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So adopt me already

A day in Uncyclopedic history - Christian Bale has been featured!

Matfen thanks you for your vote! His article could not have been featured without you...

Thank you, brotha! May your packs of fucking M&M's always be full to the brim. --Matfen 12:32, May 15, 2010 (UTC)

Warm pissing on some water

Thanks for your vote on Warm piss water. The beer flows yellow at the party I gave for it's featuring, and warm it was going down, aye. Congrats on your soon to be 30th feature, that's a fun milestone and you will be the 9th to reach it. Nice. Have some warm piss water on me, literally, pour it on me. Appreciated, Al des chains 16:44 21 5 MMX

Wizard of Aus

I've spent some time with the wizard of aus, and must say it is a remarkable work. Which is exactly why if it was nommed for VFH right now I would vote against it and urge others to vote it down like a dog with rabies. Why? Why? would ask. Because I would ask you to keep working on it, let it simmer on the stove for awhile, maybe take a few days off from it, and then work on it again. This is probably one of the potentially best pages ever to grace this website, and it must be gemlike when it makes itself known to a wider public. On first read I think the ending may be weak, although I didn't spend adequate time with it. Keeping close to the movie while tying it into Australian culture (see Australia's history) would capture the social structure of an entire continent in one satire of a well-loved movie. Diamond it solid. Al sans chains 1:00 30 5 MMX

Well, that's why I put it on PEE, I suppose. After a while it becomes difficult to see the flaws in your own stuff. --Sog1970 08:56, May 30, 2010 (UTC)

Here's a pic I ran across on a little seen page, and it isn't in any category, so thought you should see it and have the option of using it or blowing it up and hanging it on your wall.Al des chains 15:14 30 5 MMX

Love it to bits and pieces, but it doesn't go far enough.

I've had half a read through, and a couple of points.

1. Buggered dirt road is good, but I don't think I'd ever use it as a phrase. I'd suggest Rabbit proof fence as an alternative. It was a fence that stretched across the nation from North to South, ideally to keep the rabbits confined only to the East. It was a huge failure, but it's a bit of Australiana that would suit this.
2. Aussies wear thongs, which are referred to in other countries as flip-flops. It's very Aussie and as such would fit in here brilliantly when you're talking about footwear.
3. Jack Daniels is American. Stone's green ginger wine is... Well, it's disgusting, but it's cheap and will get you drunk off your tits.
4. Somewhere in here should be a reference to being as dry as a dead dingo's donger. Alternatively being as dry as a nun's cunt also works, but the first one was made famous in an anti-drinking ad a few years back

Would you be offended if I went through and did a bit of Australianising from an insider's perspective? Nominally Humane! some time Tuesday, 11:29, Jun 1 2010 UTC

Change what you like. Although I'm not sure the Rabbit fence would work. I've heard of it, so i assume everyone else has, but it's not a route to anywhere (unless you know differently). Maybe the Tinman could be leaning on it when they find him - afterall, he was watching bunnies shagging when he got rusty.

Because they're supposed to be out in the woop woop, I wanted a dirt road (which is what we call them in Botswana/South Africa). But you'll know what the local for an unpaved road is. And whatever seems more australian to you than "Buggered" - it'd be "knackered" here, but I have no idea if that's current down there.

Hadn't thought about the thong/flip-flop thing. Please change to whatever tyou think works. I like dry as a nun's cunt, personally (especially as dingos feature throughout) - it would upset my Sunday School teacher.

Sog1970

Sorry, I'm still sans full internet access, but I will come back to this. Nominally Humane! some time Sunday, 22:16, Jun 6 2010 UTC

God's word on Pee Review

I was just going to sign up to Pee Review Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/His word writ large and found it's on the frickin' front page! Do you still want a review? If not you might want to remove it from the queue--or let me do it; Chiefster taught me how and I haven't had a chance to try it yet. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  00:25, June 3, 2010 (UTC)

Actually, I'd just forgotten it was there. it had been a month nearly. gone now. --Sog1970 09:14, June 3, 2010 (UTC)

How do you DO that??

Just read your article 'Right Royal Christmas'. Laughed till I cried - literally. Awesome writing ability --Ohnogodnotagain 16:12, June 6, 2010 (UTC)

I blush in your direction. It failed VFH, mind you. Badly, as I remember. --Sog1970 21:42, June 6, 2010 (UTC)

What? Good God. Just shows how subjective humour can be. I loved it - and anyway, your other brilliant articles get the credit they deserve. Thanks for the laughs! --Ohnogodnotagain 21:58, June 6, 2010 (UTC)

Thank you! Really appreciate it. I'm a noobie/irritating idiot, stumbling around a bit at the moment, never used a wiki or written anything before (bet you can't tell) - but I love it here. Chief has adopted me and I deliver myself into his hands. Seriously though, they're excellent at what they do, aren't they? The link you gave me - could you tell me what I do after I surround the word with the double square brackets please? What's the next step? Do I have to do something in the article it has taken me to? I'm a bit nervous of inadvertently making a mess of someone's work. Honest, I've looked on every help page - I must be at a more basic stage than they can believe possible. Thanks so much.--Ohnogodnotagain 23:29, June 6, 2010 (UTC)

The additional made it all clear, am currently linking everything to everything and shall edit it later when I've calmed down a bit. Grateful noobie thanks for your help! (how does it DO that?) --Ohnogodnotagain 10:50, June 7, 2010 (UTC)

Oh, I can't tell you how useful that will be! I have tried to upload two photos now, I don't know what happens, but I can't get them to stick to my article. A large tea pot and Cardinal Wolsey were orbiting Alpha Centuri before JudgeWhy and the Chief retrieved them for me and put them on links. They're still there, I daren't touch them lest I hurl them back into orbit again. Another strange thing: they appear on a page called 'create'. Where did that come from then? Have I got one? Is that where my article should be created? You're not regretting your decision to help me are you? Do I ask to many questions? Do I?--Ohnogodnotagain 15:43, June 7, 2010 (UTC)

That stuff you left me for uploading photos has made it a lot clearer - thank you! (and for moving the article out of the user page too). Chief is making some changes to the article, and when he's done, I'll have another go with the pictures. I really appreciate your help, it's bloody embarrassing being so inept, but I really want to do this!--Ohnogodnotagain 07:45, June 8, 2010 (UTC)

A Wizard did it

Just read 'Wizard of Aus'. Bloody hell. Just off to go shoot myself!--Ohnogodnotagain 10:30, June 8, 2010 (UTC)

Puritan Poetical Thanks

'FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN'

Thank you supporting my recently featured article.

Your support is greatly appreciated.

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 00:32, June 7, 2010 (UTC)

---

Lord Christopher Monckton

Hi Sog! Thanks a ton for your vote. Getting YOUR vote, and losing, is better than not getting your vote, and winning. That's my opinion of you. Cheers!--Funnybony    17:09, Jun 10

In reply to your note on my talk page, You flatter yourself by talent. You and Guildy and Alister and some others are my inspiration to improve. I learn more by reading your articles than from entire HTBFANJS guide. Of course my own style is not so subtle as you and Guildy, I'm more of the absurd type who would believe that Tony Jaa can jump over and under a moving car at the same time. I don't have the finer brain substance. So I try to copy those who do, like you and Guildy, and take guidance from good guys like MrN9000 and Alister, and SPIKE, and Zim. But I certainly count YOUR vote as equal to 10 others, same would be with Guildy, so that means more to me than winning. Keep up the great examples! Cheers!--Funnybony    21:11, Jun 10

Appreciate your vote!

THANK YOU for voting on Hello there! I'm a kite, and I will ruin your day! You are the BEST! I will kill you. What? I didn't say anything.User:Mrthejazz/sig 02:21, June 18, 2010 (UTC)

I've been expecting you...

Hey, glad the pee was helpful. Just gave it another read and it's good.... very good. Let me know when you're done and I'll go and nom it. And like I said, I really think the title Bond Villain would be good, but if you don't like that I'm not sure what to suggest. --Black Flamingo 16:12, June 22, 2010 (UTC)

Then I am at a loss... You ready for me to nom? --Black Flamingo 16:15, June 23, 2010 (UTC)

Sure, Bond Vilain is good, I suppose. Not very informative, but what the hell? --Sog1970 22:16, June 23, 2010 (UTC)

UOTM

Thanks for voting for me on UOTM. I didn't win, but the fact that I got a decent amount of votes means a lot to me. It's good to know that you guys actually think someone like me is useful. So, yeah.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Saturday, 03:48, July 03 2010 UTC

so far

So far I've done a little work here. I'm thinking highlight the buttons when someone floats over them and click takes you to next "page" and the image on the phone screen can be manipulated to be whatever image you want to choose or can have the record of what numbers you've selected. I am still in process but don't want to go much further until I am sure my concept works in with yours. Nominally Humane! some time Sunday, 05:53, Jul 4 2010 UTC

Great, I'll scarpe together my thopughts tomorrow, create a page where you can see the basic idea and see how best it fits together. Will have to try to make it actually funny now. --Sog1970 21:10, July 4, 2010 (UTC)

Yet Another Worthless Award

AMAZING FREE GIFT!

As YOU voted for BIBLE! to be featured on the front page,
this FRAMED, VERY RARE and HIGH COLLECTIBLE
JESUS AND LINDSAY LOHAN
issue of the magazine is YOURS TO KEEP!
Generations to come will thank you for this wonderful keepsake.

---

Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:31, July 9, 2010 (UTC)

You, personally, averted the Apocalypse

Post Apocalypse made it in to cue, thanks to you. Now there is no chance it will happen.

Much thanks--Funnybony    16:08, Jul 15

I bring you gift from Romania

Perhps you tell me where your wife sleeps tonight, Mr. Sog? --Matfen 22:55, July 19, 2010 (UTC)

I Predict

I predict you will be 40+ featurer this year Soggy. I hadn't realised you had joined before me but good luck with the writing! --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 16:35, August 6, 2010 (UTC)

Well, if you hadn't nommed Boer war I probably would have stopped. But it's compulsive now. --Sog1970 19:57, August 6, 2010 (UTC)

Greetings my dear Sog!

Hi! Just wanted to pop by and tell you that I peed a little bit earlier from laughing too hard when I read Interview With the Vampire. Anyway, I have returned, lemme know if you need image chops or anything. -^Dame 20:09, August 6, 2010 (UTC)

Where do I start?

Good morning, Sog! When I grow up, I want to write articles just like you (Interview With a Vampire- you did that thing you do again) but in the meantime..... I wonder if you could solve a mystery for me before I bung up uncyc's entire hard drive with pictures of flagons and midgets? I am still struggling valiantly with getting my picture to stick in my article (head is bloody, but not bowed). I've got the image successfully into 'file', it's jpg. and everything, and put the sytax into my article, case sensitive, but when I press upload the syntax just turns red, loses all its brackets and things, and no piccie. I press 'save' after typing syntax; I don't; I leave my cursor where I want the piccie; i dont; I do all sorts of miliions of other stupid things; I drink lots of whisky and smoke various compounds to aid concentration but it's nice try, no cigar every time. I really have tried really really hard, but it just won't happen and I can't think of anything else to try. Before I finally go insane, would you kindly consider bending your expertise in the direction of my lowly status and help me figure it out please? Thank you so much x--Ohnogodnotagain 07:19, August 9, 2010 (UTC)

Good morning good sir. I am unsure if Sog is available at present. Perhaps I could be of assistance. I see that in your article the picture in question is labelled:

"Image:field of cloth of gold scribble cube|200px|thumb|rare surviving scribble cube".

I also see that you have uploaded various instances of a 'File:Flagon.jpg'. If that is indeed the file you wish to use then you would have to put that title in the area that currently reads 'Image:field of gold scripple cube', including it's filetype.

Like so

If that is not the file you wish to use, just replace the 'File:Flagon.jpg' bit with the exact name of the file you do wish to use.

Hope that is helpful. --^Dame 07:40, August 9, 2010 (UTC)

Always listen to Sonje, what little I know about pictures she taught me. --Sog1970 15:43, August 9, 2010 (UTC)

Hi, Sog! Oh, I am, I am, I'm listening intentley and hanging on her every word. She's very helpful and very talented - I wish I could do that! Ah, well, once more into the fray....

Aint it Good?

Sog, a cake for you. Thank you for all your help x

Hey, you! Good to hear from you again. At last - piccies! You're right, Sonje is amazing, the stuff she can do, it's awsome. (I sent her a cake, too).--Ohnogodnotagain 08:15, August 13, 2010 (UTC)

EX-TER-MI-NATE JOHN ENT-WHIS-TLE! no wait, that's the rock band the Who, not Doc-tor Who

Thanks for voting for Dalek! Sir MacMania GUN—[20:19 11 Aug 2010]

We saw the sign that said "No Salesmen or Agents" but we came in anyway

Thanks for the vote! Sir MacMania GUN—[15:06 24 Aug 2010]

Thanks For Subscribing!

Archive 2010, thanks for joining the official Nancy Drew Mystery Stories™ Fan Club!

Your vote to preserve the heritage of the classic Nancy Drew Mystery Series for Girls automatically and irrevocably enters you into a contract with Dunnit and Grosslap, the nation's premier reprinter of mystery and adventure serials for children.

For just pennies a day, you are making a contribution that will slow the decay of childhood literacy in the developed world. Kids, check out this never-before released installment of Nancy Drew!

The Wisdom of the Creepy Paki

As a Lifetime Member™, Archive 2010, you'll enjoy a variety of
exclusive benefits* only available to the most loyal of juvenile mystery enthusiasts.
These exciting benefits include, and are indeed limited to: feeling good about your generous contribution to young readers everywhere, a substantially reduced rate on shipping and handling charges for every Stratemeyer Signature Series Collection™ title you purchase using the handy form included in the back of every book, exclusive offers and communications from our affiliates only available to members, and a chance to win a free voucher entitling you to an opportunity to purchase a ticket for a raffle that could potentially unlock access to wide variety of restricted titles and memorabilia from our limited-circulation backcatalog.

* All terms, conditions, and entitlements subject to revision without notice.

Thanks for your vote! --KUN VFH POTM VFP(IMAGES⇔TALK) 19:10, September 4, 2010 (UTC)

Also, Belated Congrats On Your recent WOTM Win! You Deserve It!

CONGRATULATIONS! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HELL!! Your vote of confidence is crucial for our continued efforts to realize the galactic potential of Judgment Inc. Teamwork will be essential in the pursuit of our goals and we appreciate your patience during this transitional phase of our growing company and it's subsidiaries. I can assure you that your sacrifices are being noted and the management team suggests that you to read the book of Job as many times as possible in order to make your life seem more like paradise by comparison. Don't forget that first born males are due by the end of the fiscal year so don't delay submitting your offering. Thanks!

--    11:06, September 7, 2010 (UTC)

TRhing

Hi. I was wondering what your attitude is on sporks. Do you spork pages? (I'm too lazy to go through your 1,000 features) I've never done so, and am tempted to do one just to try my hand at it. Your obedient servant Aleister 21:28 8 9

Well, I have. And I've had features based on sporks - Sir Francis Drake and the Pilgrim Fathers come to mind. I think it probably pays not to stick to closely to the original article though. What's a funny parody to someone who's read both articles isn't necessarily funny to anyone else. --Sog1970 22:12, September 8, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks. I'll try one--just one--at some point, and no, won't do an entire sticking-to. How is this started, you just copy and paste an entire Wikipedia page, or is there more to it? I'll look at your Francis Drake to see what the roadmap looks like. Thanks. Oh, and I started a War Images category, if you have any pics to add and have a few minutes please jump in. Aleister 14:59 9 9

Thanks!

You voted in support of antinatalism. The future totalitarian world government will make sure to have you sterilized. Thanks for participating in saving the planet! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:07, 13 September 2010

Care for a spot of tea?

'FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN'

Thank you ever so much for your vote.

And no, my dear, I will never change this template.

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 23:45, September 14, 2010 (UTC)

---

William Westmoreland

Hi Sog! All good wishes to you. I'm not sure if this subject is too heavy or distasteful to you, but, if not, I would love to partner with you on this important historical figure. I figure "every edit by Sog is like a diamond in a greater setting". You may not remember him, but he was "General Death" to "My Generation". If not for Canada nobody would have got out alive. Really! Anyway. If interested can you turn this into a Soggy winner? Cheers!--Funnybony    18:54, Sep 16

This is Johnson's Go-To Retard guy, right? --Sog1970 19:04, September 16, 2010 (UTC)

Wow! I didn't know you were still on it. I was hoping for more anyway. Bravo. Great!!! I stop right now. Please let me know when you're satisfied. And DO delete anything you want, please. I'll do nothing more on this until I hear from you.. please! Cheers!--Funnybony    16:08, Sep 17

I'm not making anymore edits on Westmoreland page. But I made a few edits on your user space version. Please work on that version until ready. I just added a bit more on his Korean tour from where he was deported for not having a valid tourist visa. Man, if they would have held an election in Vietnam after the French were "deported" then Uncle Ho would have got the popular vote and there would the same peaceful Vietnam as today, but without all that damn noise! Cheers!--Funnybony    16:46, Sep 17

A Nillion! HAAAAAA! That whole section had me in tears. Please don't stop. This guy deserves it. He would have ruined my life if I "let him", like so many others allowed him to do, just because they were more afraid of "The Establishment" (draft) than of Charlie. Great stuff. I added a section on the Mike Wallace section explaining his lie, but I'm not sure if it's funny. Please delete or rewrite if not. Same goes for all of it. This could really be a choice article. And I enjoy seeing features on 'real' subjects rather than fictitious subjects. Anyway, it's a great lesson for me to see how you write. I hope you like the Carla Bruni Unnews. Much thanks.--Funnybony    22:01, Sep 17

Nice work you guys. Keep it up, make it even more of a master(s)spiece! Aleister 22:03 17 9

I'm thinking we may need to explain what Mai Lai is about to the under twenty fives.I'm 40 and some of this stuff happened before I was born so I doubt a lot of Uncyc's readership are even as familiar as me - will keep at it tomorrow when I sober up. --Sog1970 22:10, September 17, 2010 (UTC)

I wrote that article on My Lie (which could sure use some help too) and it was nearly impossible without changing the subject. Here is what really happened, followed by a Not Guilty verdict for all the perpetrators (except one):

The My Lai Massacre was the mass murder conducted by a Company of the U.S. Army on March 16, 1968 of 504 unarmed citizens in South Vietnam, all of whom were civilians and a majority of whom were women, children (including babies) and elderly people. Many of the victims were Sexually abused, beaten, tortured, and some of the bodies were found mutilated (by "Westy's Warriors).
---Damn! And I could have been there - a lost opportunity. Whew! Anyway, That's a hard subject to parody. But if anyone can figure a way, it's Sog. Maybe, instead of wiping out a village, he wiped out a province? I love what your doing, and so will most all others. Yea!!!--Funnybony    09:04, Sep 18

Sog, Your Masterfulness, Hail!!!, I was hoping to get a little help, and have a feature, but I never expected THIS. It's the funniest article I EVER read. Did you invent The Nillion before this? The whole article is awesome. I added a few more final "option edits" you might appreciate, otherwise please revert. But I'm done, and so are you. It's perfect. Man, now what? Should I ask Aleister if he might Nom it? I must say it has been a learning experience for me, and I learned, "Sog is a historically astute mothafuckin' clown par excellent". And this is a very good assessment of the reality of the subject. It beats Wikipedia hands down. Your material is what makes it way-over-the-over the top funny. And I hope you enjoyed the subject, Hey, bro! Was that fun, or what!?--Funnybony    10:07, Sep 19

Private note: I was thinking, perhaps, to be a bit more specific, so The Nillion, a number invented by late, great General William Westmoreland, is the number one followed by a nillion zeros)--Funnybony    19:59, Sep 19

I like that. You should add it.--Sog1970 08:15, September 20, 2010 (UTC)

Kate Bush

Another great addition to Kate Bush there. It's probably about time I divvied up a half credit between us (I assume you'll be adding more? I know how prolific you can be). With you on board this'll be a feature in no time. --Black Flamingo 15:44, September 20, 2010 (UTC)

By the way are you interested in joining the Uncyc Kate Bush fan club? So far it's just me and Mhaille. --Black Flamingo 15:57, September 20, 2010 (UTC)

Sure, why not. It'll give me an excuse for my high-pitched warbling in the shower every morning. --Sog1970 16:44, September 20, 2010 (UTC)

Congrats on Kate Bush, you are storming up that hall of shame. I made this, you may be interested to know. I normally don't bother with such things but one of the voters expressed an interest in seeing it. Thanks for your help. --Black Flamingo 17:01, September 27, 2010 (UTC)

Well, I would bother with such things if only I knew how to make them. --Sog1970 17:46, September 27, 2010 (UTC)

In the future feel free to copy this one and just replace the image and text. --Black Flamingo 17:48, September 27, 2010 (UTC)

Jack Dempsey

Hail Soggy! Want to see what a great example you are to other writers who have the supra-mundane vision enabling them to realize your innate awesomeness? After only one collab with you and I just knocked-out the above important subject in 24 hours. Something impossible before. You're welcome to work your magic on it. Or, at least, cop a grin. Y/s--Funnybony    19:57, Sep 22

Yes, Indeed

We're Westy's warriors now. It's also great to see that after so many FAs you're still glad. Here is a option thanks jpg we (I) could give to all our dear voters. What do you think? Do you normally send anything special? I think we both get the FA on our pages, right? And I get half credit which will bring my score in the Hall of Shame to a big fat 6. Hehe! You're awesome. Jack Dempsey must thank you too. I never did even close to that good before you. Cheers!--Funnybony    22:26, Sep 24

Seems good to me. I never do these but only because I don't actually know how. pathetic really, but there you are. --Sog1970 22:30, September 24, 2010 (UTC)

Three more articles to consider dipping in Soggy gold

Awesome! Hi Soggy - You might not be a boxing champ of the universe, but you may be expert in one of the below articles of great scientific and historical importance. These are half-way-there articles, all three of which you could gold plate or whatever you wanted to get that valuable-shinny effect. If you’re not too busy maybe you could rescue one of these from limbo-land – and again transform lead into gold:

• Alfred E. Neuman <---Most important idiot of all-time needs some fat and flesh, 'cause he too skinny.

• Lunar Launch Saga <---Science Fiction FACTS (cluster-fuck script slice - missing Act 3)

• G-Rex <---Balderdash paleontology (for the bad of science) – too skinny.

They are all kind-of like Westmoreland, except that they are all fiction, and, apart from Sir Alfred, require no prior knowledge. Cheers!--Funnybony    09:46, Sep 25

Hi Sog, for some reason or mistake our Westmoreland was FA for 2 days? AND, Did you know that here is no MAD, nor M.A.D. article yet? Your idea for Mutually Assured Destruction is awesome. If you start it out, then I'll join in. It is a great and necessary article. Lets do it. We both know as much about it. Now, to Alfred - and following your example, I put a lot of funny ha ha fat on the bones. It's now three times the article it was a few days back. My post-Sog version. Please take another look at THIS if you have time and inclination. Jack Dempsey is about totally perfect in my opinion - after grooming it 20 times. Your opinion is much valued. Is Dempsey the kind of article you would vote for? Cheers--Funnybony    09:04, Sep 27

Jack Dempsey thanks you

Uncyclopedia vs. Wikipedia --- and much thanks for making Jack a hit on VFH – from humble servants of the farce, Aleister and Funnybony

--Funnybony    21:51, Oct 6

Jack Dempsey would kick Yogi Berra's ass

But it's a great article nonetheless. Better than the average Berra, that's for sure. Nice. Skowron on the on-deck circle 20:12 7 10

United States of Earth

Hi Sog! Here's a way more important article than Westy. He was the past, this is the future. I took it as far as I could, leaving lots of thin areas to fill out, and also lots of my crap to delete (hehe). If you want another serious challange, here's one to stretch you to the limits of sanity. Wanna collab? If so, please move this to your user space like before, and we'll work on that. THIS is a worthwhile subject (in my absurd opinion). Hope you agree, and have the time. I just completed Alfred E. Neuman in a collab with Aleister, that's pretty darn good. Cheers!--Funnybony    22:03, Oct 12

I'll read it tomorrow, gotta try sleeping sometime. --Sog1970 22:06, October 12, 2010 (UTC)

Yea SOG! You're on a role. I've been working two years on this, but you did more and better in 2 days - Awesome. Now there are just rules and constitution. I think we should dump Alfred E. Neuman and keep it real. I'm trying to keep up, but you have this grove-thing going that is perfect. No need to ask me. If you can use or combine any of the stuff I did, and make it all past tense, please try - otherwise delete my stuff. PLEASEEEEEE don't stop. It's awesome. Cheers!--Funnybony    09:31, Oct 18

Wow, Sog, I can't tell if it's finished or not. In a way it seems complete. What do you think? Cheers!--Funnybony    17:53, Oct 19

I haven't had a lot of time to look at it over the last coupleof days. Let's see what else occurs to us over the weekend and see what it looks like then? --Sog1970 20:02, October 19, 2010 (UTC)

Milne

Hello, and thanks for the recent votes for me. Me, me, me! Oh, sidetracked there. The lead of Milne looks rough, as if something were missing right at the start. Did someone delete it, or was that how you wanted it? A mention of what he did right off the bat would also help, at least morons like me, who know his work but not his name. I want to vote for it, and that's all that's keeping my itchy voting finger from flopping your way. Pooh forever! Aleister 11:15 21 10

I hacked chunks out - possibly not very well, I'll look at it. --Sog1970 11:22, October 21, 2010 (UTC)

Ah, so that's who he was. Chunks are good to look through, and thus hearing you will tweek a bit more, my vote happily flys your way on little-duck wings. Aleister 11:30 21 10

It starts abruptly, if that's what you mean, Al. Personally I quite like that. --Black Flamingo 11:34, October 21, 2010 (UTC)

Then maybe an extra comma or something was needed. I didn't hate it, just that something was a little off. Don't mind me, if you guys like it as it was then dunk my head in water and put the top back on the barrel. Just thinking of the average reader who will come to the main page and either decide to click on "more" or will go on to the weather report. Aleister 11:40 21 10

I am just a bit hesitant regards the link to Todd Lyons on your article Soggy. Nothing against Todd but it is a weak in-joke. Why not Lyons Tea Houses instead?? --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 13:00, October 21, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks again

And thank you more formally for your vote on Disguise. It flew with the help of Lyrthria. I have disguised myself as many sockpuppets (some of them you can see above, like Romartus, Black Flamingo, Sog1970) and we all appreicate your vote. More seriously, congrats in advance on the Milne page. Aleister 00:50 22 10

United States of Earth

AWESOME. There is really nothing quite like running a real subject through the Sog. Your view points just flowed. It's amazing. Great. I'm not going to Nom it quite yet. But it's a really good article now. Thanks and hope we share another FA. Cheers!--Funnybony    18:43, Oct 23

MUCH THANKS

Lord Christopher Monckton finally discovers Greenland. Although he totally denies ever being featured in Uncyclopedia, but he appreciates the sentiment and does thank you for voting.

--Funnybony    19:04, Oct 23

USE

Hi Sog. You did an awesome spontaneous job on the USE article. The only part we need to fix is the Rulers. That list is current for for now, but not 60 years in the future. Who should we say are the Rulers of Earth now, 60 years in the future? What do you think will be the case ? Cheers!--Funnybony    22:49, Oct 23

Well, I think Obama hould still be eternal president despite having been assasinated - Kim Il Jong style. Maybe just as an embalmed figurehead so that the Tea Party should have taken over the reins of power under the authority of the Jonas Brothers. Or something

United States of Earth <--HERE is where we are, Soggy. Really cool. I changed a few things at the end about creation an stuff. Awesome!--Funnybony    20:51, Oct 24

Thanks two too!

Thanks for your vote on Cemetery (better to vote on one than to be(in) one, that's what I always say). Glad to link to Yogi Berra, the only link that could do that pic justice. I wonder who it really is on the receiving end of Ty Cobb's spikes. A slight whore thing, my page "UnBooks:My Daddy Has Two Yachts" has actually picked up a couple of vote in the last two days, so it has come back from the dead (as has Ty Cobb). Please give it a read if you have a few minutes of your life to throw away. Just a read, no asking for a vote. I think you may like it (the task was to make it read well enough on one reading, whereas two may be needed for those with short-term memory loss or those who see the patterns. Funnybony? Is that you?). Thanks. I haven't read this U.S of Earth page Funnybony and you are kicking around--scared to look at it, Funnybony scares me more than spiders or those jungle bitey-ants. Aleister 21:27 24 10

Ohmygod Ohmygod Ohmygod, I feel like a schoolgirl (I actually am a schoolgirl, but have kept my identity hidden for fear of tentacle rape). Thank you. More importantly, I hope you liked it. It's actually one of my favorite self-written page, the study of a psychopathic mind (personal experience, believe me, and my victims) at the age of seven or eight, and how they would view the world. The father also seems like a psychopath. Gotta run, homework you know, and I've got girls PE first thing in the morning (I hate when Miss Anderson makes us run laps). Thanks ag'in. Aleister 22:22 24 10

More thanks

For two other articles, thank you for voting for Wrists and Pursuit of Happiness! *pokes Aleister with a stick* Odd. ~ Lyrithya *shifty eyes* (words) (actions) -- 20101027 - 16:53 (UTC)