The Uncyclopedia Trading Card Game

The Uncyclopedia Trading Card Game, or more commonly known as UTCG, is a highly serious and completely legitimate collectible card game in which Uncyclopedia users are re-imagined as creatures with wildly exaggerated completely reasonable abilities that may or may not reflect reality. Any resemblance to the once popular basement dweller game, Magic: The Gathering, is purely unintentional.

UTCG rules ...wait, there's rules on Uncyclopedia? fuuuck...

UTCG follows most of the rules of Magic: The Gathering, except when it doesn’t, which just happens to be always. All cards are considered legendary unless otherwise noted as not, because everyone involved insists they are that important.

Cards may reference:

• Editing
• Admin powers
• Vandalism
• The Website
• Ancient gods
• Things that were probably really stupid in hindsight

If a rule interaction causes an argument, the active admin automatically wins unless a user's card specifically prevents this (This is in the case of an Uber-Vandal, Vandal on Wheels, or Suspicious Eyepee). In the case that there are two or more active admins at the same time (this is a hypothetical due to this being impossible), the admins will then simply engage in a huffing duel to decide the victor.

UTCG card types

Creature/Land/Sorcery

All users are represented are (usually) of the following sub-types:

• Editorius
• Administratus
• Photoshoppus
• Vandalian
• None - Because the creator forgot to give them one)

NOTE: Non‑legendary users are always ignored in favor of legendary users.

Artifacts

Artifacts can, and sometimes represent:

• Userpages
• CSS or HTML
• Templates
• Uncyclopedia itself
• Bad ideas that sometimes work

Artifacts may be sacrificed at any time for “value”, or "street cred", both of which amount to a maximum of $0.00 when pooled together

Factions

There are no official factions, but cards tend to fall into the following categories thanks to their creator being a lazy fuck:

• Admins - Prevent things from happening
• Editors - Change things that didn’t need changing
• Creators - Cause long‑term consequences and then leave
• Unknown Users (aka the Eyepees) - Exist... ominously
• Cultists (in most cases, Bensonites) - Worship entities formed from the collective lack of humor on Uncyclopedia

UTCG cards

List of cards, arranged by power, toughness, or reality; but mostly just however the game developer(s) felt.

Card	Name	Type	Class	Rank	Notes
	Sophia, "the Omniscient"	Legendary artifact creature	Ultra-deity	God	The single most powerful entity in Uncyclopedian existence. THE ultra-deity
	Chronarion, "the Creator"	Legendary artifact creature	Deity	God	Founder of The Website. Created everything. Left. Still triggers abilities. (Supposedly).
	Lyrithya, "the Wise"	Legendary artifact creature	Arythian	God	An ancient legendary creature, one time member of the adminus order. Rarely seen, but not to be trifled with when roused.
	Uncyclo-tan, "the Mascot"	Legendary artifact creature	Tan	Anime Girl	More interested in her enemies-to-lovers (a.k.a. "toxic yuri") relationship with Wikipe-Tan, but occasionally serves as unofficial mascot for The Website.
	Alula, "Huffer of Souls"	Legendary creature	Adminus maxima	Bureaucrat	Administrator. Stops vandalism, spam, and fun.
	Cassandra, "the Hobo Queen"	Legendary creature	Adminus maxima	Bureaucrat	Administrator. All the usual stuff, but with a smile.
	MrX, "the Geared One"	Legendary creature	Adminus maxima	Bureaucrat	Bureaucrat. Justice is cold like metal... especially if you think you are going to pull a fast one on him.
	DaniPine3, "the Needled One"	Legendary creature	Adminus maxima	Admin	A helpful pine tree, elevated to a near-deity status. Nobody questions this, except for the foolish few that manage to unleash his fury.
	L10nM4st3r, "the Human Lion"	Legendary creature	Adminus maxima	Admin	Be he Lion? Be he Master? Or be he BOTH? We may never know, but he is a valuable asset to The Website.
	Shabidoo, "the Aristocrat"	Legendary creature	Adminus maxima	Admin	There is a class of nobility in Uncyclopedia ruled by this one... didn't know of it? That's because you aren't in it.
	Zombiebaron, "the Brain Eater"	Legendary creature	Adminus retira	Zombiebaron	Travels the planet in search of brains. Doesn't discriminate, evidently.
	Fenris2010, "the Grue"	Legendary creature	Shadow-beast	Grue-Admin Hybrid	If you're in a dark place, and you hear a growl... your time's up.
	Jimbo Wales, "the Original Evil"	Land creature	Ultra-villain	The Root of All Evil	The creator of the anti-site, Wikipedia. A powerful foe.
	Oscar Wilde	Land creature	Deity	Quote-master	The root of all real and unreal quotes. Revered and despised in equal parts.
	Codeine, "Hammer of Vandals"	Legendary creature	Sysopian	Sysop	Coding? Or codeine? Was it a typo? Who knows. All that matters to Codeine is how it feels to smite another vandal.
	Donald Trump, "Arbitr of Code"	Land creature	POTUS	Admin	Responsible for huge amounts of valuable code. Leaves artifacts behind. Also runs the United States for fun on the side.
	OPOSSUM, "the Sojourner"	Legendary creature	Moccasinian	Thumbsucker	A high-ranking acolyte of the Moccasinian religion, and dangerously powerful legendary creature.
	Squaw Dee, "the Owner"	Legendary creature	Moccasinian	Rollbacker	AKA the "Roadkill Ruminant," he is the Deer of Moccasins, and the (self-proclaimed) owner of The Website. Really powerful.
	Gergdown, "the Leaf Warrior"	Legendary creature	Chanadian	Thumbsucker	A long-standing warrior from the lands of Chanada who lives to bring order to a land tarnished by an ancient Dark Zanian rule.
	Fish on Skates, the Flying Flipper	Legendary creature	Animalia	Rollbacker	A fish trapped in a fishbowl on top of a skateboard. Does... stuff. Somehow.
	Turb0, "Guardian of the Fens"	Legendary land creature	Bostonian	Thumbsucker	Dangerous, very regional, and... strangely effective when placed in dirty water.
	MK, "the Illusive"	Legendary land creature	Bostonian	User	Creates many things utilizing an evil software program. Few are permanent. None are explained.
	Soviet, "the Comrade"	Legendary land creature	Moccasinian	User	Comrade of many, enemy of few. Knowledgeable in the ways of The Website.
	4.252.99.182, "the Entity"	Legendary creature	Eyepee	IP	An unknown user of immense and highly unsettling potential power. Never logged in. Never will. Original leader of the Eye-pee faction.
	Deemox, "the Pawn"	Legendary creature	Cartographer	User	A black pawn with a powerful sense of direction and location. The pawn knows where it is at all times... do you?
	Moccasin	Legendary artifact	Moccasinian		Easily played artifact, yet immensely powerful.
	Nintendorulez, "Bensonite"	Land creature		User	A loyal follower of Benson, an ancient deity not yet fully documented. (This is a lie, he's 110% documented).
	Grue	Legendary land creature	Mammalia(?)	???	If you see it, it sees you. Run. Or don't. You're probably dead either way.
	Kitten Huffing	Legendary artifact			Common drug addiction granting the abuser feline powers and control.
	Soviet's Bot	Legendary artifact	Moccasinian	Bot	A robot designed to uphold the communist ways that went rogue, winning the prized Moccasin Man title in the process.
	Abuse Filter	Legendary artifact	Bot	Bot	A powerful enforcement protocol that has secretly gained control over parts of The Website.
	Donald Tusk, The Walrus	Legendary artifact	???	???	A product of the EU. Not much else to be said about him, except he exists only to suffer.

See also

• Card games
• Uncyclopedian culture
• Magic: the Gathering