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The writer of dis here article has adopted an exaggerated vernacular. Dis be most likely a symptom of an obscure disorder involving the growth of one or more vaginas, or else it is an affected effort to appear down wit' de kool kids.

“I have nothing to declare except my genius”

~ Some smart-ass lion-in-the-woods type of jerk

Q: So, here's the situation: Jerry and Jane are at the mall, looking for a new pair of sweatpants so that little Johnny can get ooze with his little brat party and fund Molly's turkey dine chain down the lane from Alfie's pawnbroker's, but the problem is that Gary's really digging Jane's new friend Samantha, and she's away in Greece, plus Jane's in co-hoots with Alex, who really ain't got much of a mug to look at, with braces and stupid strawberry studs and all that kind of crap that I'd bet Stella here'd be into making the big bucks off of, so what Gary doesn't know is that Jane wants Alex, who's real into getting on some marshmallow fluff with Gary, to start seeing stars in the old yellow balls, but Gary ain't so interested in jerry leather fizzle broads like Alex at this part of life, which he lays claim as "his prime", though if you was to take a likely look at the feller you'd be inclined to disagree, but there you go, Alex's got standards, there ain't nothing we can get him down for about that, and what he's really wanting now is to give-a-dog-a-bone with a certain Miss Sam, if you knows what I'm tying my boots up about, but I ain't telling you this for nothing: Daisy will not be as pleased as a kangaroo on a trampoline when walks in to find Samantha going at it with Gary in the back of their convertible sweet-shop, and Josh ain't even allowed swing-ball when he got his ass on the fence, chasing lil' ragamuffins like the first in the school football squad do on Friday recess, and this is where shit'll really hit the fan, not that it matters with Graham jumping up and down Broadway like he got ants in his living room just 'cos Fanny got her merit in cobbler's boils at the old infirmary, but what I mean to ask is that will people just shut off like they hit a great ton of bricks when I tell this story to the folks down Paddy's hall by the run-down square on the cupola side?

A: Probably.